Thankyou Amanda for pointing out to look at"where is the demand?" This was so eyeopening to me😊 love your felted pug and very happy for Magic doing better❤
now that i think about it, i've been suffering from this thing forever. it's so counterintuitive.. like i cannot even enjoy things i've planned _for myself_ - it has to come from some inner emotional impulse or _resonance_ or something, otherwise it feels offensive, or even oppressive. i don't think we really know what pda is yet, or how exactly it works, but it's a lot better having a term for it and pointing to the fact that certainly there _is_ something to it
It is great to start conversation about PDA and try to understand how our brains work. Because it's so frustrating when they seemingly work against us on occasion!
Thank you so much! Now I'm connecting the dots. It really has been like that for my entire life. Now it become worst to the point I'm not functioning anymore. I really want to start searching for job and I'm petrified. Also the mess in my house become unbearable. I really can't see how to apply your strategy to my situation. Demand comes from existential need. I can't see how to work around that. Could you please make a video about that? When demand comes from life itself, how to get around that?
I took a screenshot and will think on this one. I do have some ideas how to answer your question that may or may not be helpful depending on how PDA manifests for you.
PAD: hear you on all points. I can order a book over my web bookshop and then when the physical book finally comes, it sits on the shelf glaring at me. Fortunately I have so many books on my shelves that there is always one "I choose for myself", If that makes any kind of sense to you. I have tried to explain to neuro typical friends without luck.
I went from one activity to an other when I was yough until I was in high school and I found larping. I did it for 7 years and I know im gonna come back to it someday. My parents werent hard on me for going activity to activity. It paied off in the end.
Hi, Amanda I would love to see more content on PDA. I relate to the majority of your content, but PDA is one of the aspects of my personality that I find most confusing. I did have an aha moment here. People pleasing plus PDA equals broken promises. I am 72, self diagnosed at 70. Without any knowledge of my autism or PDA there are things I did to help with common guilty feelings. Learning when to say "no", as well as, how to say "no" was one. The other is that I no longer accept loans of any kind, only gifts. I realized that if someone loaned me something, especially if they went on and on about how significant it was to them, there was a high chance I would never return it. It was something I felt guilty about and never understood til now. If I believe the person is a "tit for tat" giver I don't accept it or explain that I am not. I like to give gifts when I come across something I believe someone else would like. I search well in advance of birthdays and Christmas so I don't feel forced to buy them "something" so they won't be hurt. Now that I am retired my circle of people is quite small and I must admit that is helpful as well. Thanks for your content.
I really struggle with gifts too. I also like to give random gifts not tied to any particular celebration. And I really don't like it when people give me something unless I know they don't expect that "tit for tat" situation.
Sorry I haven’t been commenting lately Amanda, I’ve got stressful things going on and having a hard time communicating at all. But I had to come on and say I love your new hair, you look stunning 🤩
I'm sorry it's been a hard time for you, but I'm glad you recognize that not commenting is a way to help conserve energy elsewhere. Never feel like you need to comment. 🌸 Thank you for the compliment! I'm really enjoying my short hair!
Hi Amanda: Great video 😍 I always learn a lot from you talking about your ‘mask’ because I can relate. I have been meaning to deep dive your videos because of this, I will surely be doing so. I too was a girls guide. Your perspective on PDA is very enlightening. 💛
I watch your videos but i have a question off topic -i hope you dont mind ☺️. I think i have hair identical to yours and i want to cut mine short. Yours looks incredible. I would totally cut mine if i knew my hair wouldnt turn into a giant frizz ball after 2 days. I have a whole cabinet of products ive used twice and they never work. Paleeez tell what products you use on your hair. I want your hair and mine looks like yours ONLY on the day i wash it. Thanks for being you
I did this video on titkok just for you! I hope you have tiktok, I didn't want to make a RUclips video or type it all out. Also, thank you so much, I enjoy my curls so much! 🥰 www.tiktok.com/t/ZP88pNMmo/
Hello Amanda, I have actually made a fidget toy. It was crochet. Because your living it your very knowledgeable. Thank you for sharing what you know. 💕NonnaGrace 🐓
The ways of society are usually incompatible with how I need to live life. 8:52 Oh good. you got out. I was forced into softball and I was terrible! I suspect my dyspraxia gets in my way, a lot.
I am very late to this video and maybe someone already mentioned it: Am I the only one who is massivly confused that this time the perspective is the other way round and the couch is on the right😂 I mean, nothing is less important, but I have to write it down to be able to go on watching.
@@i.am.mindblind Oh, Amanda, I didn´t want to bother You, some YTers often do, I just had to speak it out. I thought maybe You got a new camera,as also the perspective in this and the following video is different, so the angle no matter if "mirrored" or not is different, much "higher". The point is that I guess most allistic people wouldn´t even see or if just forget it the next second, I guess it´s an ADHD or autistic thing for both videos I was so busy with it and I find it very funny. Because it´s not a big thing, just another angle, it´s the same room, the same person I like to listen and watch and my brain compares it all the time😂 Fortunatly I was able to listen to what You talked about no matter I had a littly "sidequest"🤣🤣🤣 Sorry, it´s 8 a.m. here in Germany and I haven´t slept worried so much about Your election that I am really getting sleep-deprived-crazy a bit, but I just can´t realize what unfortunatly seems to happen right now, I feel "there is still hope", I can´t sleep now. As if I stay awake I could help Kamala😵💫 These two videos had been in my mind to watch as soon I have time and now I felt like "she said she is for Kamala, I go and watch them now waiting for new results.". Ugh, I am so depressed that people in the US did this. AGAIN!!! I mean...do they hear him talking? "They eat the pets"... This man gets power over A LOT... 😫😫😫
I just posted a video talking a little about the results. I'm devestated. I cannot believe this happened. I totally forgot to check the camera angle in the video again. So funny how I just don't notice. Yeah, I guess I used to have the couch in the left? In person when I'm sitting at my desk my couch is on my right. I was playing with camera settings and didn't even notice. 😅
@@i.am.mindblind I know, just watched the new video and am so thankful about it. Feel less alone with my overwhelming emotions. Cried a lot since yesterday after I slept. I just can't deal with it😥
Enjoyed your take on this ++ your hair looks awesome
Thank you on both counts! 😊
you did great on your pug!!!
Thank you! I was so self critical at first, but he's really grown on me! 😂
I am glad Magic is better!
Me too, I was so worried about her!
Thankyou Amanda for pointing out to look at"where is the demand?" This was so eyeopening to me😊 love your felted pug and very happy for Magic doing better❤
So glad it helped! I'm so grateful Magic is doing better, she really scared me there for a bit!
now that i think about it, i've been suffering from this thing forever. it's so counterintuitive.. like i cannot even enjoy things i've planned _for myself_ - it has to come from some inner emotional impulse or _resonance_ or something, otherwise it feels offensive, or even oppressive.
i don't think we really know what pda is yet, or how exactly it works, but it's a lot better having a term for it and pointing to the fact that certainly there _is_ something to it
It is great to start conversation about PDA and try to understand how our brains work. Because it's so frustrating when they seemingly work against us on occasion!
There are different types of demand avoidance, and I think looking into that could be really interesting.
As someone with AuDHD who is about to become a parent, this was really helpful and I am interested in learning more about this topic, thank you! 😊
I have a PDA Playlist and I think I'll do a part two to this one! Glad it's helpful!
Thank you so much! Now I'm connecting the dots. It really has been like that for my entire life. Now it become worst to the point I'm not functioning anymore. I really want to start searching for job and I'm petrified. Also the mess in my house become unbearable. I really can't see how to apply your strategy to my situation. Demand comes from existential need. I can't see how to work around that. Could you please make a video about that? When demand comes from life itself, how to get around that?
I took a screenshot and will think on this one. I do have some ideas how to answer your question that may or may not be helpful depending on how PDA manifests for you.
PAD: hear you on all points. I can order a book over my web bookshop and then when the physical book finally comes, it sits on the shelf glaring at me. Fortunately I have so many books on my shelves that there is always one "I choose for myself", If that makes any kind of sense to you. I have tried to explain to neuro typical friends without luck.
This totally makes sense to me. The new book can feel demanding, but once it's been hanging around a while, the demand to read it isn't as present.
I went from one activity to an other when I was yough until I was in high school and I found larping. I did it for 7 years and I know im gonna come back to it someday. My parents werent hard on me for going activity to activity. It paied off in the end.
The new haircut is super cute!
Thank you! I appreciate the compliment!
Hi, Amanda I would love to see more content on PDA. I relate to the majority of your content, but PDA is one of the aspects of my personality that I find most confusing. I did have an aha moment here. People pleasing plus PDA equals broken promises. I am 72, self diagnosed at 70. Without any knowledge of my autism or PDA there are things I did to help with common guilty feelings. Learning when to say "no", as well as, how to say "no" was one. The other is that I no longer accept loans of any kind, only gifts. I realized that if someone loaned me something, especially if they went on and on about how significant it was to them, there was a high chance I would never return it. It was something I felt guilty about and never understood til now. If I believe the person is a "tit for tat" giver I don't accept it or explain that I am not. I like to give gifts when I come across something I believe someone else would like. I search well in advance of birthdays and Christmas so I don't feel forced to buy them "something" so they won't be hurt. Now that I am retired my circle of people is quite small and I must admit that is helpful as well. Thanks for your content.
I really struggle with gifts too. I also like to give random gifts not tied to any particular celebration. And I really don't like it when people give me something unless I know they don't expect that "tit for tat" situation.
!!! Your hair looks totally cute!!!
Thanks! I'm really enjoying the short hair!
@@i.am.mindblindSoooo cute! Drop the products you use!
I made a tiktok about my routine with products! www.tiktok.com/t/ZP88opVKX/
Sorry I haven’t been commenting lately Amanda, I’ve got stressful things going on and having a hard time communicating at all. But I had to come on and say I love your new hair, you look stunning 🤩
I'm sorry it's been a hard time for you, but I'm glad you recognize that not commenting is a way to help conserve energy elsewhere. Never feel like you need to comment. 🌸 Thank you for the compliment! I'm really enjoying my short hair!
Hair looks great
Thank you! 🌸
You look amazing!!!
Thank you! 🥰
Thanks for your incite and my cat says meu!
Meow back! 🐱
Glad to hear Magic is so much better now😻
Thank you! She's almost back to normal now. 😊
You look stunning thanks for the content
Thank you 😊
Hi Amanda: Great video 😍 I always learn a lot from you talking about your ‘mask’ because I can relate. I have been meaning to deep dive your videos because of this, I will surely be doing so. I too was a girls guide. Your perspective on PDA is very enlightening. 💛
I'm so happy my videos are resonating! It's so great to know others relate to my experience. Thank you so much for watching! ❤️
@ they definitely do resonate: masking is a difficult one fore me to unpack. You do a great job of giving ideas to understand it 🥰
Hello !!!
Hi. 😊
I watch your videos but i have a question off topic -i hope you dont mind ☺️. I think i have hair identical to yours and i want to cut mine short. Yours looks incredible. I would totally cut mine if i knew my hair wouldnt turn into a giant frizz ball after 2 days. I have a whole cabinet of products ive used twice and they never work. Paleeez tell what products you use on your hair. I want your hair and mine looks like yours ONLY on the day i wash it. Thanks for being you
I did this video on titkok just for you! I hope you have tiktok, I didn't want to make a RUclips video or type it all out. Also, thank you so much, I enjoy my curls so much! 🥰
www.tiktok.com/t/ZP88pNMmo/
💚
PDA may be a trauma response
It increases in intensity with burnout and it can subside completely at times too
At least, that's my experience
Hello Amanda, I have actually made a fidget toy. It was crochet. Because your living it your very knowledgeable. Thank you for sharing what you know. 💕NonnaGrace 🐓
I've seen a couple cook crocheted fidgets! One was an infinity loop and another had a marble in a crocheted tube you could push around. Really cool!
I love your hair!
Thank you! 😊☺️
sometimes also called persistent drive for autonomy
Yep!
The ways of society are usually incompatible with how I need to live life.
8:52 Oh good. you got out. I was forced into softball and I was terrible!
I suspect my dyspraxia gets in my way, a lot.
I am very late to this video and maybe someone already mentioned it: Am I the only one who is massivly confused that this time the perspective is the other way round and the couch is on the right😂 I mean, nothing is less important, but I have to write it down to be able to go on watching.
I didn't even notice. 🤦♀️ I must have flipped my camera at some point.
@@i.am.mindblind Oh, Amanda, I didn´t want to bother You, some YTers often do, I just had to speak it out. I thought maybe You got a new camera,as also the perspective in this and the following video is different, so the angle no matter if "mirrored" or not is different, much "higher".
The point is that I guess most allistic people wouldn´t even see or if just forget it the next second, I guess it´s an ADHD or autistic thing for both videos I was so busy with it and I find it very funny. Because it´s not a big thing, just another angle, it´s the same room, the same person I like to listen and watch and my brain compares it all the time😂 Fortunatly I was able to listen to what You talked about no matter I had a littly "sidequest"🤣🤣🤣
Sorry, it´s 8 a.m. here in Germany and I haven´t slept worried so much about Your election that I am really getting sleep-deprived-crazy a bit, but I just can´t realize what unfortunatly seems to happen right now, I feel "there is still hope", I can´t sleep now. As if I stay awake I could help Kamala😵💫
These two videos had been in my mind to watch as soon I have time and now I felt like "she said she is for Kamala, I go and watch them now waiting for new results.". Ugh, I am so depressed that people in the US did this. AGAIN!!! I mean...do they hear him talking? "They eat the pets"...
This man gets power over A LOT... 😫😫😫
I just posted a video talking a little about the results. I'm devestated. I cannot believe this happened.
I totally forgot to check the camera angle in the video again. So funny how I just don't notice. Yeah, I guess I used to have the couch in the left? In person when I'm sitting at my desk my couch is on my right. I was playing with camera settings and didn't even notice. 😅
@@i.am.mindblind I know, just watched the new video and am so thankful about it. Feel less alone with my overwhelming emotions. Cried a lot since yesterday after I slept. I just can't deal with it😥