Ahhhh thank you so much for this!! I’m an undiagnosed autistic and ADHD teenager, and I recently began driver’s ed. This video addressed SO many of my concerns, and I’m glad other people are rightfully terrified of operating a METAL DEATH MACHINE (literally said on my lesson that the car is a WEAPON like yes… no shit….) since I thought I was overreacting about it. The bit where you listed accommodations is so, SO helpful I didn’t even think about that!! Will keep in mind and try to figure out in advance what I may have issues with and what I can do to accommodate for them. Thank you so much for this video again, hopefully I can pass all my tests :’]
i'm autistic & i love to drive. i was really lucky - i was raised in the country & started driving quite young on dirt roads with no traffic with a pretty relaxed adult person in the passenger seat, not to mention driving mowers, tractors, dirt bikes etc... it wasn't a big deal, there wasn't pressure around it, driving was just a part of life. since it was a task & i love figuring out a good task i took to it quite well. & i loved the freedom of driving & playing my music going to & fro as a teenager, i still do. i didn't care for drivers ed either, i made no effort to pay attention just studied on my own & did alright. the teacher reminded me of the laughing fellow from mary poppins tho so i found them thoroughly enjoyable. those videos though - no no no. not appropriate. i am a good driver & have an excellent drivers record. when people are in the car with me i'm not as good a driver as most of my skills are not as sharp when people are around. i learned that i can drive in a city or busy environment, although i can get very upset quickly & again my skills go dowwwwwn. its a lot of sensory overwhelm. it is nice to remember that its okay to pull over & take breaks, to stim extra if i need to, to ask for quiet if others are in the car with me, to Not drive if i don't feel up to it & so forth, practicing good boundaries. i like driving slow, giving other drivers & bikes & pedestrians a lot of space, letting people out of hard spaces, always using my blinkers, & just generally being a very courteous safe driver. i feel like that is important. i like having plans too - knowing what i will do in a storm, knowing different routes in case there's traffic, knowing what to do if pulled over & having back up or emergency items in the car with me - jumper cables, water, snacks, change of tire equipment, a blanket, flashlight, pens, matches, maps! & so forth. thanks for this, thanks for being, sincerely edit: i forgot to mention i used to get lost a LOT when i was leaving any kind of group thing or was talking with a friend while getting in the car or was simply stressed. i would pull over & need to call for help. this hasn't happened in a while because i practice a lot of self care & do not drive when i am not ready to. i also bring plenty of grounding, centering & focusing techniques into the car with me. i freak out less. it is good to have tools for situations such as these, when anxiety can run all over the place. lately, because people seem very stressed out, i've taken extra precautions while driving - like giving drivers extra space, not immediately zooming thru green lights (lots of people speeding thru the yellow lights instead of slowing down), giving my self extra time to get places & so forth. i really hope this helps some peoples. thanks so much!
I had massive fear of learning to drive. It didn't help that I was anxious being a passenger in cars half the time. My now husband finally got me to learn over the course of a few years and I got my license at age thirty. I did almost perfectly on the written and driving tests. I do not like driving but I can do it. I always have to check Google maps to be sure of where I am going and where I can go if I need options and do not drive more than perhaps five miles away from home. I avoid large or fast roads and busy areas, and I get angry every single time I drive because of all the people not following the rules. If i get flustered I have to pull over because my mind starts going blank, and Never will I ever drive into the city.
I have a hard time with driving and I'm pressure from my boyfriend and family. I wish they understood what it is like to me. I WANT to drive, but my anxiety is just so bad! I'm trying to relearn to drive and I HATE IT, but I want the independence and I'm tired of the pressure around me.
I wanted to learn to drive from the moment I figured out it would mean freedom. I'm glad for it, I love driving, and I lived out of a Nissan Altima for 2 years waiting for pandemic housing, so I can certify that filming videos in the car is possible :) I tried to start a vlog while homeless but didn't finish the idea...
As someone who's autistic and also seeking an adhd diagnosis, and also learning to drive, i actually disagree that driving (ESPECIALLY driving culture) is more adjusted to neurodivergent people, than public transport. There could honestly be alot of adjustents in public transport for NDs like me, but there isn't bc a) car-dependent infrastructure, especially in the industrialised Western countries like the US, therefore b) neglect of public transport (ESPECIALLY in the US). With driving With driving culture, it's so toxic, especially towards NDs who apparently "don't have common sense", and are shamed for not being "adult enough" for conforming into ND ways of thinking, when learning to drive a car (lets not even talk about the reactionary aspects of the culture, like "jokes" about women and asians being shitty drivers, basically blaming them bc they're asian and/or a woman, there is actually some research that debunks these notions btw, and debunks notions that it's "their biology") . Yes you may have more privacy in a car. But good luck driving when others are on the road I also could go on and on how a vehicle-dependent infrastructure is terrible for the environment among a myriad of other things
Also, after my brain injury, my tolerance for passengers went to zero. I only LOVE driving when i'm solo and if you ask me for a ride you really need to respect the rules of my car if you value your safety. That is all. I cannot focus at all when someone is in the car trying to talk to me. I can't even talk on the phone. I thought about becoming a trucker but don't think I'd survive the co-driver training portions.
Basic thing that really helped me learn to drive: starting early. My parents liked to go to the desert and ride around on motorcycles, 3-wheelers, and quads. By the time I sat behind the wheel for the first driving class with my parents, I had been riding ATV's for about 5 years, and I'd crashed 3 times--2 of which I rolled and was lucky to not break any bones. This allowed me enough practice that controlling the vehicle and understanding where it is in space didn't take much concentration, so I could devote most of my concentration for analysis and decision-making on the road.
I took after school driving lessens while I was in high school and those really discouraged me from driving for several years. The practical driving portions were group lessons with 3-4 students and one instructor. Everyone would drive for like 20 minutes and then we'd switch. Group settings make me very anxious, especially with strangers, and I didn't know anyone else there. The instructor tried to encourage small talk while I was driving. I'm bad at that even when I'm not trying to focus on doing a very complicated and dangerous thing that I've never done before. They would also often be vague in their directions. I remember them regularly tapping on the passenger window to indicate 'turn right' instead of just telling me to do so. Not knowing where I was going until the last moment when I approached a turn that they wanted me to take was very difficult for me. One time I got rear-ended at a stoplight in the student vehicle because I didn't immediately move after the light turned green and the person behind us was in a hurry. The way certain driving 'rules' are communicated invites confusion as well. My mom got really mad at me once for making a dangerous turn while I was learning because my anxious brain took 'you can turn right on a red light' to mean 'you HAVE to turn right on red if there's the slightest opportunity.' I was scared of doing things 'wrong' so I took the turn prematurely and it was a close call. I pretty much stopped even attempting to drive after those lessons were over and I just relied on family members to get me where I needed to go. The summer after my first year in college I was able to relearn how to drive in a way that worked for me. I would go on more relaxed drives with both of my parents individually and I took some additional lessons from a local driving school without any extra passengers (of which I remember practically nothing, so I'm assuming they went fairly well). My first driving test was a disaster (mainly due to the actions of the person administering the test), but I got lucky on my second attempt with a tester who was more clear in their instructions and didn't trigger my anxiety quite as much. Driving, especially with passengers (which happens quite often when you're one of the few college students in your group with a car), still made me very anxious for a long time. I would make a lot of mistakes and often got dissociated while trying to drive. It wasn't until I started working and had to regularly drive solo that I got more comfortable. Eventually I learned to love driving, similarly to how it seems you did. I was kind of surprised at how much I missed driving during the two years when I lived in NYC. I still get anxious when other drivers move unpredictably and I sometimes get dissociated while driving (which can be very scary), but I'm so much more relaxed now and I enjoy drives when I can sing loudly along to music or listen to an audio book without fearing that others will judge me. There's something about a car's bubble that makes me feel like I'm less likely to be perceived. Even if I am and someone has a negative reaction, I'm on the move anyway so I can pretty easily get away from them in most cases. It feels safe. I wish that I had seen more perspectives like yours when I was younger because I also felt shame for being unable to drive at/after the age that most people get their licenses. The negative experiences I had when I was first learning were not fully unique and there are other people who were once afraid of driving but have since learned that it doesn't have to be quite so scary. Now driving (along with the independence it affords me) is a skill that I value immeasurably. Thank you for talking about this subject 🖤
unfortauanately i can't drive due to also having epilepsy and dyspraxcia, i suppose i could try. It suck that i can't drive because public transport is really hard for me and cars a my thing, which interestingly is why i find it odd that people think Autistic people are incapable of driving as there are a lot of top racing drivers from the past and present who have or in the case of those who are no longer alive had autistic traits i won't name them as it is not my place, apart from Guy Martin who is a motorcycle racer and landspeed record breaker who is diagnosed and has been public about it
just got my license & 1st car 2 weeks ago at age 46 after 20 hours of in-car instruction and 10 hours of theory/discussion via video conference... first few lessons were okay-ish, but the 6th ended with the instructor effectively firing me and insisting that i continue with other instructor(s)... there had been friction/difficulty between me asking questions a certain way and their lack of ability to provide answers i found satisfactory, and their belief that i wasn't "getting it" and never would, that i was being obstinate/stubborn out of spite. thankfully, the instructor with which i resumed the course was fabulously empathetic and explained things in a way i could digest and incorporate into action/reaction... by the 10th lesson everything just 'clicked' and i felt quite accustomed to being behind the wheel, the car like an extension of myself... however, the day of my road test, an instructor who had been scheduled to be my examiner was unavailable, and i found myself in the car with the same instructor with whom i had such an awful time... i was a nervous wreck and committed what they considered to be unforgivable mistakes (i felt they were being judgmental; as did other instructors later on), and so that was a failure on my test record... i called the school to schedule another road test, insisting that i not be put in the car with that person again... thankfully, that happened, and i was much more relaxed, and passed. since then, i've driven myself to and from work every day, and find myself searching for any/all excuses to hop in my car and go somewhere/anywhere on a whim... i was surprised to discover that i could even hold my own on NJ Turnpike, which... is quite something... never thought i'd be among those who can say 'i love to drive' but here i am. the contrast between the two instructors is particularly notable... the first was entirely focused on the things i needed to know and to 'get right' on the exam, and took to reminding me that if i fail it would reflect poorly on their record as an instructor... whereas the second was genuinely interested in helping me develop confidence and skill behind the wheel, and maintained calm while giving directions and what to do differently... with the first, any mistake was always met with 'you should already know not to do that'; with the second it was 'it's okay, we can work on it, you'll get it'... with the first, i felt i was almost never given a chance to demonstrate i actually did understand braking distance and acceleration and would feel them overriding my attempts from their side... with the second, i was allowed much-needed autonomy. additionally notable... features included with the car i chose 'fixed' some concerns i had with the car used by the school; these are, for the most part, standard features in newer models, but i am hugely helped by them... the side mirrors have a secondary round small mirror at their extents, which allow me to see my car's position relative to curbs and parking boundary lines (in the instruction car i would have to adjust the mirrors down toward the pavement to see this; this greatly annoyed the first instructor)... there are sensors at the rear and sides of the car that trigger a gentle but insistent chime and amber LED near the side mirror to inform me that a car is getting a bit too close for comfort but it's not too late for me to adjust... and lastly, the braking system is integrated with a sensor at the front and will apply additional pressure on the brake pedal automatically to maintain safe distance as i decelerate or they stop more suddenly than i anticipated... i could live without these excellent advances in technology, but i am very glad to have them. re: maps/gps i love that my car and my phone 'get along'; i leave the sound off and just glance over at the in-dash screen on occasion to double-check my next couple of moves... and, for now, i drive in silence (no radio needed)... which is to say i'm enjoying learning my car's grumbles, and hums, and such. they are a happy and asphalt-hungry beastie. thanks for coming to my TED talk? (hehe, i was intentionally verbose in the interest of possibly helping others.) -- signed, 'a very likely autistic person' who discovered that his brain actually does work quite a bit differently than others' later in life than he ought to have.
I hate driving, I can if I have to, glad I live somewhere with good public transit and I can ride my bike. I just dislike cars. Thankful I am not in North America where it is totally car dependent!
Got my license last autumn so I got past 40 before doing that. Living in the city all my life until moving to a smaller town 1.5 years ago, driving wasn't really necessary. Public transportation in Finland is pretty good as are other public services. Driving school was decent except my teacher got sort of panicky if i made the engine stop in an intersection or other fun like that. Being an oldie fortunately made it easier for me to say what I needed and what want helpful and saying that clear calm instructions in situations like that might be better. Luckily I didn't make too many bigger mistakes and took enough extra lessons. What really helped for me was buying a car before getting my license so I was kinda excited to get to drive on my own. Starting to drive around daily to really get the experience once I had my license was great! I could choose where to go, how far, how long, how soon etc.
Am important tip! If you've had car sickness, sea sickness, fear of heights, difficulty coordinating your movement especially in traffic, dizziness, vertigo, dyslexia or repeated head aches/migraine you might have benign positional vertigo or tendency for it. Treatment maneuvers for it mostly remove the aforementioned symptoms or reduce them considerably. I have the issues myself and have special training as a physiotherapist to examine and treat it. It's usually reasonably easy and safe to try the treatment exercises (Epley, Lempert and Rahko maneuvers) even without a professional (at your own risk) if you're basically healthy but professional advice is always recommended. Know your limits physically. Getting rid of the misfiring signals from the vestibular system is an immense relief.
OMG singing?! yeeeeeeeeesssssssss Literally turn on the radio station I've listened to since I was a kid almost every time I drive and sing ...is there any other stims people do when driving?
I remember I failed my driving test twice and I swear it was because the course I originally had to take the test on had its "roads" set up with four lanes, so you could demonstrate the ability to switch lanes and all that, and I'd drilled into my head that "if you're turning left get into the furthest left lane, turning right get into the right lane" - AND since it was a little course set up in a more restricted amount of space, the distances between intersections were shorter than they would be normally on actual roads. So, the instructor would tell me to turn right at the next intersection, I'm in the left lane and try to change lanes and then turn, and since there wasn't really enough space to make that obvious I'm pretty sure they thought I was just making ultra sloppy turns.
Okay, originally this was a joke about fake Instagram accounts, but I'm changing it to say who the f_ck would judge you for wearing sunglasses on a rainy day? Noon on rainy days are bright as hell, and because the light is scattered by the clouds all that brightness is coming from literally everywhere!!! Being your own DJ just makes sense, too. You're your own DJ and karaoke. I used to do that all the time, for years.
the car i want to drive is the Mitsubishi Mirage Coupe aka the Proton Putra in Malaysia but I need a driving license to pass the test also this video is informative.
I've always wanted to drive and I enjoy it, but I keep getting road blocks into getting a license. Also I always have headphones and a good video or music to get through public transportation.
I presume you mean the Autistic community? The autism community is quite different - Some or all of: PFL, pathology/deficit paradigm, puzzle piece, pro-ABA, tragedy narrative, cure culture
I was so terrified of driving that I actually got my motorcycle license first. Riding a motorcycle was also scary but at least I had good visibility and it was less intimidating controlling a smaller vehicle. I agree 100% about how traumatizing drivers ed can be. They assume that you are a “reckless teenager” who needs to be scared into taking this responsibility seriously. I was already having nightly nightmares about driving before I was forced to watch those videos in drivers ed. There should really be accommodations made for people who have severe anxiety, ptsd, etc. related to driving. The violent imagery set me back years. Eventually I met my fiancé who taught me to drive when I was 26, and 6 years later I feel like driving has become pretty automatic for me. I still prefer to let my fiancée drive though because I find it hard to focus when I have a passenger in the car.
@@stephaniedolph2325 I get what you mean about the visibility, something about driving in a car makes it feel like you're not able to see everything despite the rear view mirrors.
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Ahhhh thank you so much for this!! I’m an undiagnosed autistic and ADHD teenager, and I recently began driver’s ed. This video addressed SO many of my concerns, and I’m glad other people are rightfully terrified of operating a METAL DEATH MACHINE (literally said on my lesson that the car is a WEAPON like yes… no shit….) since I thought I was overreacting about it. The bit where you listed accommodations is so, SO helpful I didn’t even think about that!! Will keep in mind and try to figure out in advance what I may have issues with and what I can do to accommodate for them. Thank you so much for this video again, hopefully I can pass all my tests :’]
i'm autistic & i love to drive. i was really lucky - i was raised in the country & started driving quite young on dirt roads with no traffic with a pretty relaxed adult person in the passenger seat, not to mention driving mowers, tractors, dirt bikes etc... it wasn't a big deal, there wasn't pressure around it, driving was just a part of life. since it was a task & i love figuring out a good task i took to it quite well. & i loved the freedom of driving & playing my music going to & fro as a teenager, i still do. i didn't care for drivers ed either, i made no effort to pay attention just studied on my own & did alright. the teacher reminded me of the laughing fellow from mary poppins tho so i found them thoroughly enjoyable. those videos though - no no no. not appropriate. i am a good driver & have an excellent drivers record. when people are in the car with me i'm not as good a driver as most of my skills are not as sharp when people are around. i learned that i can drive in a city or busy environment, although i can get very upset quickly & again my skills go dowwwwwn. its a lot of sensory overwhelm. it is nice to remember that its okay to pull over & take breaks, to stim extra if i need to, to ask for quiet if others are in the car with me, to Not drive if i don't feel up to it & so forth, practicing good boundaries. i like driving slow, giving other drivers & bikes & pedestrians a lot of space, letting people out of hard spaces, always using my blinkers, & just generally being a very courteous safe driver. i feel like that is important. i like having plans too - knowing what i will do in a storm, knowing different routes in case there's traffic, knowing what to do if pulled over & having back up or emergency items in the car with me - jumper cables, water, snacks, change of tire equipment, a blanket, flashlight, pens, matches, maps! & so forth. thanks for this, thanks for being, sincerely
edit: i forgot to mention i used to get lost a LOT when i was leaving any kind of group thing or was talking with a friend while getting in the car or was simply stressed. i would pull over & need to call for help. this hasn't happened in a while because i practice a lot of self care & do not drive when i am not ready to. i also bring plenty of grounding, centering & focusing techniques into the car with me. i freak out less. it is good to have tools for situations such as these, when anxiety can run all over the place. lately, because people seem very stressed out, i've taken extra precautions while driving - like giving drivers extra space, not immediately zooming thru green lights (lots of people speeding thru the yellow lights instead of slowing down), giving my self extra time to get places & so forth. i really hope this helps some peoples. thanks so much!
Driving on a lawnmower isn't bad but in a car it's too much for me to keep track of.
I had massive fear of learning to drive. It didn't help that I was anxious being a passenger in cars half the time. My now husband finally got me to learn over the course of a few years and I got my license at age thirty. I did almost perfectly on the written and driving tests. I do not like driving but I can do it. I always have to check Google maps to be sure of where I am going and where I can go if I need options and do not drive more than perhaps five miles away from home. I avoid large or fast roads and busy areas, and I get angry every single time I drive because of all the people not following the rules. If i get flustered I have to pull over because my mind starts going blank, and Never will I ever drive into the city.
Yes
I have a hard time with driving and I'm pressure from my boyfriend and family. I wish they understood what it is like to me. I WANT to drive, but my anxiety is just so bad! I'm trying to relearn to drive and I HATE IT, but I want the independence and I'm tired of the pressure around me.
I wanted to learn to drive from the moment I figured out it would mean freedom. I'm glad for it, I love driving, and I lived out of a Nissan Altima for 2 years waiting for pandemic housing, so I can certify that filming videos in the car is possible :) I tried to start a vlog while homeless but didn't finish the idea...
Edit: don't film videos WHILE DRIVING folks, do it while PARKED
pro tip
As someone who's autistic and also seeking an adhd diagnosis, and also learning to drive, i actually disagree that driving (ESPECIALLY driving culture) is more adjusted to neurodivergent people, than public transport. There could honestly be alot of adjustents in public transport for NDs like me, but there isn't bc a) car-dependent infrastructure, especially in the industrialised Western countries like the US, therefore b) neglect of public transport (ESPECIALLY in the US). With driving
With driving culture, it's so toxic, especially towards NDs who apparently "don't have common sense", and are shamed for not being "adult enough" for conforming into ND ways of thinking, when learning to drive a car (lets not even talk about the reactionary aspects of the culture, like "jokes" about women and asians being shitty drivers, basically blaming them bc they're asian and/or a woman, there is actually some research that debunks these notions btw, and debunks notions that it's "their biology") . Yes you may have more privacy in a car. But good luck driving when others are on the road
I also could go on and on how a vehicle-dependent infrastructure is terrible for the environment among a myriad of other things
Also, after my brain injury, my tolerance for passengers went to zero. I only LOVE driving when i'm solo and if you ask me for a ride you really need to respect the rules of my car if you value your safety. That is all. I cannot focus at all when someone is in the car trying to talk to me. I can't even talk on the phone. I thought about becoming a trucker but don't think I'd survive the co-driver training portions.
Basic thing that really helped me learn to drive: starting early. My parents liked to go to the desert and ride around on motorcycles, 3-wheelers, and quads. By the time I sat behind the wheel for the first driving class with my parents, I had been riding ATV's for about 5 years, and I'd crashed 3 times--2 of which I rolled and was lucky to not break any bones. This allowed me enough practice that controlling the vehicle and understanding where it is in space didn't take much concentration, so I could devote most of my concentration for analysis and decision-making on the road.
I'm 36 and still hate it so much. Doing it more makes it worse for sure. Too much shit going on.
Thank you for this. This explains a lot about me.
I took after school driving lessens while I was in high school and those really discouraged me from driving for several years. The practical driving portions were group lessons with 3-4 students and one instructor. Everyone would drive for like 20 minutes and then we'd switch. Group settings make me very anxious, especially with strangers, and I didn't know anyone else there. The instructor tried to encourage small talk while I was driving. I'm bad at that even when I'm not trying to focus on doing a very complicated and dangerous thing that I've never done before. They would also often be vague in their directions. I remember them regularly tapping on the passenger window to indicate 'turn right' instead of just telling me to do so. Not knowing where I was going until the last moment when I approached a turn that they wanted me to take was very difficult for me. One time I got rear-ended at a stoplight in the student vehicle because I didn't immediately move after the light turned green and the person behind us was in a hurry.
The way certain driving 'rules' are communicated invites confusion as well. My mom got really mad at me once for making a dangerous turn while I was learning because my anxious brain took 'you can turn right on a red light' to mean 'you HAVE to turn right on red if there's the slightest opportunity.' I was scared of doing things 'wrong' so I took the turn prematurely and it was a close call. I pretty much stopped even attempting to drive after those lessons were over and I just relied on family members to get me where I needed to go.
The summer after my first year in college I was able to relearn how to drive in a way that worked for me. I would go on more relaxed drives with both of my parents individually and I took some additional lessons from a local driving school without any extra passengers (of which I remember practically nothing, so I'm assuming they went fairly well). My first driving test was a disaster (mainly due to the actions of the person administering the test), but I got lucky on my second attempt with a tester who was more clear in their instructions and didn't trigger my anxiety quite as much.
Driving, especially with passengers (which happens quite often when you're one of the few college students in your group with a car), still made me very anxious for a long time. I would make a lot of mistakes and often got dissociated while trying to drive. It wasn't until I started working and had to regularly drive solo that I got more comfortable.
Eventually I learned to love driving, similarly to how it seems you did. I was kind of surprised at how much I missed driving during the two years when I lived in NYC.
I still get anxious when other drivers move unpredictably and I sometimes get dissociated while driving (which can be very scary), but I'm so much more relaxed now and I enjoy drives when I can sing loudly along to music or listen to an audio book without fearing that others will judge me. There's something about a car's bubble that makes me feel like I'm less likely to be perceived. Even if I am and someone has a negative reaction, I'm on the move anyway so I can pretty easily get away from them in most cases. It feels safe.
I wish that I had seen more perspectives like yours when I was younger because I also felt shame for being unable to drive at/after the age that most people get their licenses. The negative experiences I had when I was first learning were not fully unique and there are other people who were once afraid of driving but have since learned that it doesn't have to be quite so scary. Now driving (along with the independence it affords me) is a skill that I value immeasurably. Thank you for talking about this subject 🖤
unfortauanately i can't drive due to also having epilepsy and dyspraxcia, i suppose i could try. It suck that i can't drive because public transport is really hard for me and cars a my thing, which interestingly is why i find it odd that people think Autistic people are incapable of driving as there are a lot of top racing drivers from the past and present who have or in the case of those who are no longer alive had autistic traits i won't name them as it is not my place, apart from Guy Martin who is a motorcycle racer and landspeed record breaker who is diagnosed and has been public about it
just got my license & 1st car 2 weeks ago at age 46 after 20 hours of in-car instruction and 10 hours of theory/discussion via video conference... first few lessons were okay-ish, but the 6th ended with the instructor effectively firing me and insisting that i continue with other instructor(s)... there had been friction/difficulty between me asking questions a certain way and their lack of ability to provide answers i found satisfactory, and their belief that i wasn't "getting it" and never would, that i was being obstinate/stubborn out of spite.
thankfully, the instructor with which i resumed the course was fabulously empathetic and explained things in a way i could digest and incorporate into action/reaction... by the 10th lesson everything just 'clicked' and i felt quite accustomed to being behind the wheel, the car like an extension of myself... however, the day of my road test, an instructor who had been scheduled to be my examiner was unavailable, and i found myself in the car with the same instructor with whom i had such an awful time... i was a nervous wreck and committed what they considered to be unforgivable mistakes (i felt they were being judgmental; as did other instructors later on), and so that was a failure on my test record... i called the school to schedule another road test, insisting that i not be put in the car with that person again... thankfully, that happened, and i was much more relaxed, and passed.
since then, i've driven myself to and from work every day, and find myself searching for any/all excuses to hop in my car and go somewhere/anywhere on a whim... i was surprised to discover that i could even hold my own on NJ Turnpike, which... is quite something... never thought i'd be among those who can say 'i love to drive' but here i am.
the contrast between the two instructors is particularly notable... the first was entirely focused on the things i needed to know and to 'get right' on the exam, and took to reminding me that if i fail it would reflect poorly on their record as an instructor... whereas the second was genuinely interested in helping me develop confidence and skill behind the wheel, and maintained calm while giving directions and what to do differently... with the first, any mistake was always met with 'you should already know not to do that'; with the second it was 'it's okay, we can work on it, you'll get it'... with the first, i felt i was almost never given a chance to demonstrate i actually did understand braking distance and acceleration and would feel them overriding my attempts from their side... with the second, i was allowed much-needed autonomy.
additionally notable... features included with the car i chose 'fixed' some concerns i had with the car used by the school; these are, for the most part, standard features in newer models, but i am hugely helped by them... the side mirrors have a secondary round small mirror at their extents, which allow me to see my car's position relative to curbs and parking boundary lines (in the instruction car i would have to adjust the mirrors down toward the pavement to see this; this greatly annoyed the first instructor)... there are sensors at the rear and sides of the car that trigger a gentle but insistent chime and amber LED near the side mirror to inform me that a car is getting a bit too close for comfort but it's not too late for me to adjust... and lastly, the braking system is integrated with a sensor at the front and will apply additional pressure on the brake pedal automatically to maintain safe distance as i decelerate or they stop more suddenly than i anticipated... i could live without these excellent advances in technology, but i am very glad to have them.
re: maps/gps i love that my car and my phone 'get along'; i leave the sound off and just glance over at the in-dash screen on occasion to double-check my next couple of moves... and, for now, i drive in silence (no radio needed)... which is to say i'm enjoying learning my car's grumbles, and hums, and such. they are a happy and asphalt-hungry beastie.
thanks for coming to my TED talk? (hehe, i was intentionally verbose in the interest of possibly helping others.)
-- signed, 'a very likely autistic person' who discovered that his brain actually does work quite a bit differently than others' later in life than he ought to have.
I hate driving, I can if I have to, glad I live somewhere with good public transit and I can ride my bike. I just dislike cars. Thankful I am not in North America where it is totally car dependent!
Your vids are awesome, thank you!
Got my license last autumn so I got past 40 before doing that. Living in the city all my life until moving to a smaller town 1.5 years ago, driving wasn't really necessary. Public transportation in Finland is pretty good as are other public services.
Driving school was decent except my teacher got sort of panicky if i made the engine stop in an intersection or other fun like that. Being an oldie fortunately made it easier for me to say what I needed and what want helpful and saying that clear calm instructions in situations like that might be better. Luckily I didn't make too many bigger mistakes and took enough extra lessons.
What really helped for me was buying a car before getting my license so I was kinda excited to get to drive on my own. Starting to drive around daily to really get the experience once I had my license was great! I could choose where to go, how far, how long, how soon etc.
Am important tip! If you've had car sickness, sea sickness, fear of heights, difficulty coordinating your movement especially in traffic, dizziness, vertigo, dyslexia or repeated head aches/migraine you might have benign positional vertigo or tendency for it.
Treatment maneuvers for it mostly remove the aforementioned symptoms or reduce them considerably. I have the issues myself and have special training as a physiotherapist to examine and treat it. It's usually reasonably easy and safe to try the treatment exercises (Epley, Lempert and Rahko maneuvers) even without a professional (at your own risk) if you're basically healthy but professional advice is always recommended. Know your limits physically.
Getting rid of the misfiring signals from the vestibular system is an immense relief.
OMG singing?! yeeeeeeeeesssssssss Literally turn on the radio station I've listened to since I was a kid almost every time I drive and sing ...is there any other stims people do when driving?
Wow, great video!! I have experienced nearly every one of the issues you mentioned & didn't realize anyone else feels this way. Thank you!! 🙏🚗💯
I remember I failed my driving test twice and I swear it was because the course I originally had to take the test on had its "roads" set up with four lanes, so you could demonstrate the ability to switch lanes and all that, and I'd drilled into my head that "if you're turning left get into the furthest left lane, turning right get into the right lane" - AND since it was a little course set up in a more restricted amount of space, the distances between intersections were shorter than they would be normally on actual roads. So, the instructor would tell me to turn right at the next intersection, I'm in the left lane and try to change lanes and then turn, and since there wasn't really enough space to make that obvious I'm pretty sure they thought I was just making ultra sloppy turns.
thanks for the video
Okay, originally this was a joke about fake Instagram accounts, but I'm changing it to say who the f_ck would judge you for wearing sunglasses on a rainy day? Noon on rainy days are bright as hell, and because the light is scattered by the clouds all that brightness is coming from literally everywhere!!!
Being your own DJ just makes sense, too. You're your own DJ and karaoke. I used to do that all the time, for years.
the car i want to drive is the Mitsubishi Mirage Coupe aka the Proton Putra in Malaysia but I need a driving license to pass the test also this video is informative.
All I can say is Thank You!!!
I am so curious but how exactly do you stim while driving? Also yeah small talk while driving sucks
Nobody truly knows the nyc subway system. They just know what is necessary for their purposes.
I've always wanted to drive and I enjoy it, but I keep getting road blocks into getting a license.
Also I always have headphones and a good video or music to get through public transportation.
I'm from Massachusetts!!!!!
I presume you mean the Autistic community?
The autism community is quite different - Some or all of: PFL, pathology/deficit paradigm, puzzle piece, pro-ABA, tragedy narrative, cure culture
Haha yes! I use them interchangeably just cause sometimes words come out faster than the brain thinks
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I was so terrified of driving that I actually got my motorcycle license first. Riding a motorcycle was also scary but at least I had good visibility and it was less intimidating controlling a smaller vehicle. I agree 100% about how traumatizing drivers ed can be. They assume that you are a “reckless teenager” who needs to be scared into taking this responsibility seriously. I was already having nightly nightmares about driving before I was forced to watch those videos in drivers ed. There should really be accommodations made for people who have severe anxiety, ptsd, etc. related to driving. The violent imagery set me back years. Eventually I met my fiancé who taught me to drive when I was 26, and 6 years later I feel like driving has become pretty automatic for me. I still prefer to let my fiancée drive though because I find it hard to focus when I have a passenger in the car.
@@stephaniedolph2325 I get what you mean about the visibility, something about driving in a car makes it feel like you're not able to see everything despite the rear view mirrors.