Autism AND Learning To Drive| Purple Ella
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- Опубликовано: 26 май 2024
- Autism and learning to drive. I'm talking about the challenges, and issues it's worth considering if you are autistic and thinking about learning to drive. More below
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
Hypermobility Syndromes Association - hypermobility.org
As a Driving Instructor I found this video really interesting & helpful as I’m currently teaching an Autistic Student.
I used "disability driving instructors" to find my instructor and he's been really good so far
I wish we had anxiety-friendly instructors where I live. But we don't and I have to put up with an over-stressed out instructor that actually expects you to have ''learned'' stuff from the 2nd lesson. I just wanna get over with it x_x
I think many people with autism find learning to drive difficult. I certainly did but got there in the end. I would agree it's important for autistic learners not to judge themselves by the standards of neurotypical learners and accept they may take longer to learn. While sometimes taking a break from learning is a good idea if struggling I would avoid leaving more than a few months in between learning as it then means spending more lessons (& money!) relearning skills. For all kinds of reasons I took years between some attempts to learn and therefore took far longer to learn. I would also agree that the Pass Plus is an excellent idea for any new driver to gain driving experience while still assisted by an instructor.
I tried backing out of the driveway and I disassociated and just shut down entirely. The first time I tried driving on the road I drove into the curb because I thought the car in the other lane was really close to me but it wasn’t at all. I hope I can learn and find the courage 😔
You will Learn i have disabilities and too i am Going to Driving school really soon i was Neverus to Drive are you be Able to Drive now ☺️
More than a dozen times people have argued with me when I said I want to learn automatic only. After I got my diagnosis it's going to be easier for me to get the license, because I take better care of my needs. And care less about what anyone thinks! I think driving will be challenging to learn, but public transport can be a nightmare and can take up to four times longer time !!!
learn what is comfortable. anything that makes you uncomfortable is going to affect your control.
i am apparently atypical for an atypical. i am a super precise and master driver and have worked as a courier and done some amateur drag racing. i can't really do an automatic because i feel a distinct lack of control.
I'm also autistic. It took me a lot longer than my peers to learn to drive. I didn't get on very well with my first driving instructor, I just kept getting really overwhelmed and bursting into tears with him. Also it wasn't an ideal time for me due to studying & some medical stuff going on. After a few years break I tried again with a new instructor who I found much better. I wasn't particularly nervous about my driving ability but was scared of the unpredictability of other drivers & didn't think I'd be able to think & react quickly enough if I needed to. And my spatial awareness has always been rubbish. I passed eventually (4th attempt at the practical test I think) & loved the freedom it gave me but my confidence didn't improve when driving. After a few years I had to stop due to chronic physical illness & although I missed the independence I was relieved in a way as I certainly didn't miss the stress. I don't know what the future holds with my physical health but even if it improves I'm not sure I'd return to driving again, even though I know it would open up my world.
Exactly, I have same issues: anxiety and I can not estimate angles and space!
When I tried to learn to drive my special awareness and inability to think about all the things at once without getting overwhelmed and ending up fixedly staring at one spot on the road ahead was so bad that my driving instructor accused me of taking drugs. I used to gradually drift toward the curb or over the middle line and also found it too hard trying to drive fast enough for the speed limit. I think I was getting so overwhelmed with all the things I had to think about along with all the sensory stimulus that I was kinda shutting down. I gave up learning in the end because I just don’t think I would ever be capable of being safe in control of a car.
I don’t think it helped that the first driving instructor I had was old and had really fixed, narrow views of teenagers so the first thing he did on the first lesson was to lecture me about how ‘a car is a lethal weapon’. Maybe helpful for someone who was too cocky but I was a nervous and unconfident teenager who needed reassurance not further scaring! The stress just added to how overwhelming it was for me.
It took me 4 times to get my license. I think the sensory aspects of the driving test itself were really really hard for me, including the tester themselves. I vividly remember during one of the tests trying to understand the tester’s way of communicating/interacting and that time I ended up not passing because I asked him a question instead of just doing what I thought was correct. Like I was so overwhelmed that I forgot what he asked me to do in this area where there was road construction. And I was so upset since all my friends who did get their license got it from taking the test once. And I think other neurotypical people can get away with hiding whether they’re not sure they are correct or not, but I certainly can’t. I always am honest and tell the truth, so he failed me because I wasn’t sure what to do. Anyways, I’ve had my license now for about 9/10 years.
My issue is how neurotypucal drivers tend to bend/break the rules of the road as long as doing so will somehow benefit them, whereas us autistic are less likely to bend/break the rules of the road, unless we have a good reason to do so. Also, we often get into more serious trouble than neurotypicals, for similar incidents, which really scares me about driving. Many of the neurotypical drivers I have seen here in the US should not even be on the road.
A lot of this sounds so familiar! Much of my son's difficulty has been not seeing signs and difficulty judging distances. And yes, we did give up, so you have given us hope to keep trying and take our time with it.
He can definitely do it! Just takes time and patience
Being autistic driving is Challenging
I'm 32 taking my driving lessons right now. Still struggling just little more have permit licence.
Hi Ella I am a driving instructor and have two students with autism at the moment it is a learning curve and proper training would be great as everyone should have the opportunity to drive,
so further training would be an asset. You are an inspiration to those who suffer and are worried about driving.
The amount of times my instructor told me to turn one way and I just casually turned the opposite, cause i don't know left and right, was too many xD
I didn't want to. When I turned 18 my parents made me. To this day I make myself. So unpleasant, I feel like I am unnecessarily taking a risk on my life and those around me.
I had a similar experience as a teenager but reversed where my first driving instructor was a very laid back older woman who was really calm and I never had any issues with her. Passed my theory and I was nearly ready to take my practical but I met a girl in a whirlwind romance and we moved to a big city where I didn't need a car nor could I could afford one. 20 years later my wife and I were wanting to start a family like you and she was the one to push me to drive again plus it would be very handy for work for transporting my tools etc. My new instructor was a younger man and whilst a very good teacher he was incredibly demanding and would sometimes get angry when I'd make a mistake and this would lead to a shutdown and I'd begin to dread my lessons. On the third lesson after another shutdown I explained to him I was autistic and he couldn't keep getting angry at me for what might seem an obvious error to some and I suggested some ways he could help me during the lessons. After that it was much easier and I passed my test first time and I'm actually a really good and pretty confident driver (as it's way easier without someone constantly telling you what to do) and it's so great not having to use public transport as that is really stressful for me. It's an absolute pleasure just to drive with my music on and to explore places I couldn't get to on a bus or train.
I think your idea of autism accredited driving instructors is a winner as my instructor had no knowledge of autism even though he must have had a few autistic learners before me who probably we're young and unwilling to speak up for themselves.
I'm glad I finally went to a professional instructor. I was driving my mother bats. Fortunately, the instructor was very patient and I did get my license. I'm a much better driver now, but I still have trouble with parallel parking. I was tempted to give up when I had my first fender bender, but my mother wisely would not let me (she immediately sent me out on an errand).
For the record, I found later in life that a manual stick shift forces me to pay attention (helpful for my ADHD).
As practice is so important and learner drivers can practice with qualified drivers, would it be a good idea for autistic drivers to take out other autistic learners? Maybe a volunteer database could be established, so that autistic driver-mentors could help others practice.
I passed my practical driving test on the third try, 11 years ago at age 47. This followed 2 years of weekly 2 hour driving lessons.
I think the other tip for learner drivers, that I would recommend is to consider the pass-plus course. A learner driver is not allowed on a motorway, even with an instructor. I selected my first motorway drive very carefully, because they can be dangerous when high speed is involved. There is even an equivalent sticker to the L-plate for your car, which will alert other road-users that you have recently passed and this should encourage them to give more consideration to your less developed coordination skills etc, in real-life situations.
Thank you for talking about this important topic.
I'm 31_ gave up bothering about 5 years ago ( didn't know I was autistic then) i tried for 2 years in an automatic. I think instructors had a lot to do with it. I'm like you dyspraxic and EDS too. I may try again in future and make sure it's the right instructor. Xx
I’m an ADI and have just started with a pupil who has Aspergers so I found it very helpful, thanks
I have Autism and Dyspraxia as well. I learned how to drive at age 16. The first time I drive my moms van I crashed it through a fence, since I pushed on gas instead of brake. My mom and Dad decided to put me in driver's ed after that. My driver's ed instructor also yelled alot. And made me scared to drive with him. I did 30 hours with him and eventually got better. Parallel parking is still hard for me today and I try to avoid the best I can. Even parking beside a curb can be hard, since my car is 90% of the time not straight. I am very thankful to drive though as well and it has opened a lot of opportunities with my work too.
I can copy this sentence as I crashed my mum car to other as did something as u do. But instructor is so good and friendly he thinks capable but I need time for learning driving
People still argue with me to quit driving I guess same with you. Because they always compare with others and mistake I made
I'm so glad you were able to persevere and get your license! :)
I grew up in a fairly small town with no public transport, and I needed to be able to take myself to school and back (it would make things MUCH easier for my parents as well as for me), and I didn't know I was autistic, so not learning to drive simply wasn't an option. I failed the driving test twice though, which was not great for my self-esteem, but finally got it on the third try. And I'd highly recommend an automatic; I learned a manual because my first car was one, but getting an automatic in my early 20s + moving to a large city with good public transport helped so much.
Also, I love your shirt!
I grew up in a big city with great public transportation, so that's how I get around everywhere. I know that if I had license it would make my life easier and give me more opportunities... But it stresses me out too much. Even watching other people drive stresses me out sometimes, even as a kid I would get scared watching my parents drive sometimes. Not because I didn't trust their driving, but because I would imagine myself behind the wheel and being in control of this moving vehicle...it terrifies me.
As a person on the autism spectrum, I have been driving for over 20 years. I even drive a manual car. I agree with all your recommendations. The quality of the instructor makes a difference.
it went well for me, my driving instructor was really friendly, calm & patient.
and would take the time to explain
-what i did wrong
-why it was wrong
-why i should do it better
-how to do it better
the driving was ok,
but during some of the lessons i couldn't function properly, there was a little too much information to think of whilst putting all that into action.
so would struggle and do my absolute best and i could still miss some signs and make a mistake or two.
but for some reason i could do the things i struggled with the day before just fine a day later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i now have class B, A2 and I've taken class A this summer (but i won't receive it until I've had A2 for 2 years)
Got there in the end but had countless instructors who lost patience. I passed with a female instructor but had a few who got angry easily. The last teacher I had was ‘what would you do in this situation’, rather than turn left turn right so I understood why I did what was asked. You can be a great instructor, but having autism and learning is a challenge
I learned how to drive and got my license at 25. I passed the test by 1 point !
Thank you for making this video. I'm currently 30 and still don't have my license! I have had the same issues as you discribe.
Agree struggle with parking. Failed multiple parking tests took lots of practice in a parking lot. Yelling will burn me out and make me function. My brain doesn't process information quickly so I drive the speed limit and get passed a lot but I have the extra room in case something happens.
I’m currently learning to drive and my mother is teaching me. It’s stressful because she yells and freaks out a lot. I have issues with depth perception and telling how far something is, gaging speed of other drivers, picking up on what another driver might do, and reaction. I also can’t tell if I’m in my lane or if I’m straddling lanes or close to the curb. To add on, when my mom starts screaming I try to focus on driving but it becomes hyper focusing to the point where I’m not focused at all. I’ve come to somewhat dread driving lessons. But I’m hoping to resolve these issues because I want to be able to drive!!
I aced everything but parallel parking as a teen and got my license. Then I had two accidents (caused by others) in one month, coincidentally got married in the same year, and stopped driving for 15 years bc my hubby likes to drive and I hate it. Then two years ago our eldest son (who is autistic but doesn't want the official diagnosis yet) turned 17 and needed a license so he could get an after school job and drive himself to and from it. Since I had let my license lapse, I decided to get my license again, which required the whole testing process, at the same time as our eldest son. He flunked the written. I passed it. We lucked out big time in that our area's driving test no longer tests you on parallel parking bc of all the auto parallel parking cars now on the market. So I got my license, and my eldest retook the test and passed. He later flipped his car into a ditch last summer which made him afraid of driving again. It took a few months and many frank conversations about how careful driving was the key to his freedom as a young man and seeking opportunities to socialize and earn money, but thankfully he's now back to driving confidently. I'm now okay with it in easy driving situations...long 2 lane roads, around our tiny town. But in cities with numerous on and off ramps, I'm a stressy mess. And I won't even drive in the bigger cities and just get my sister in law or hubby to if possible.
I would agree having a super calm and patient instructor is the key to gaining confidence when you're younger (I don't think it would help me as an adult now bc I would just tell the instructor to chill out, lol). Like you, I am still also terrible about making right hand turns within neighborhoods (some of that "figuring out angles and how big the vehicle is" issue). I tend to swing out way too wide or jump the curb! Surprisingly in teaching my son I turned out to be a calmer instructor than my hubby or the $300 USD instructor through my sons' school. And I always thought anxious me would be the WORST at teaching it! lol
I have a special interest in cars and driving so I won't struggle when I take my first driving test and I feel that I'll feel quite capable to do it...
Awesome! That's what I like to hear!
Btw don’t worry If you fail, even if you fail many times. I’m very interested in cars and failed my test 4 times, it wasn’t to do with my driving, it’s just the examiners and stress of the test. Now I drive whenever I get an excuse...
I learned to drive and I can drive, but I still get so so much anxiety while driving. It's so bad that I won't drive anywhere alone (unless it's the little section of town that I know well). It's really frustrating, but I don't know what to do. I think I just need more practice.
Sadly there are no autism friendly hairdressers in Thurrock. I am going to start an autism group which will first be a social group but will campaign for my acceptance and awareness of adult autism in Thurrock amongst companies and services etc.
I learnt to drive several years ago, but for years afterwards my Fitbit would consider me “doing exercise” when I drove because my heart rate went up so much. Still happens when I drive to new places and parallel parking is also a bit beyond me unless it’s a big space.
Thanks, Ella! I'm in the process of learning to drive right now
Yesterday I was literally sick to my stomach from the stress of my 1st driving lesson and this morning I woke up hurting in the upper stomach. Dunno if it was also from the stress but it must have definitely helped. I really don't know how I will go through the lessons but hopefully time will pass by fast and without any serious issues x_x
I got my drivers licence at the age of 54 when I moved to a city as a single mum where I HAD to drive. Taking buses was time consuming and very frustrating as in order to go to even close by places I had to sometimes take 2 or 3 buses. If I missed one bus I would miss the next and then next so I had to cancel whatever I planned for the day sometimes. Very frustrating. So I just made up my mind to get my licence no matter what.
I tried several driver instructors and just as you said, you've got to choose the RIGHT one. One of them would yell at me and even told me a couple of times that if I wasn't going to enjoy learning to drive and put my everything into it, it would best to just forget to learn how to drive. Aaaargh... To enjoy learning how to drive you have to have an instructor that will not yell at you and will not make you feel stupid for your mistakes!
Finally I met this older instructor who was so much more patient and also encouraging. He kept telling me that I would one day drive and that I just had to get practice. I wanted to give up so often but he simply wouldn't allow me to give up. Finally after almost 100 driving lessons (hahaha yep... you read well!) I got my licence! I passed both the theory and practical tests on the first go!
So yes, you've got to practice, practice, practice.... and most of all choose the RIGHT instructor. Parallel parking? Nope! I have not mastered it yet (after 6 years of driving) but so what? I just find parking where at an easier spot. No big deal.
Hello Purple Ella, please can you tell me where you got your "This is my too tired to function" sweatshirt. It will help me when I am too tired to explain how I am feeling to others. Thank you.
I got it from wish.com
It was a long time ago (in 1989) when I got my driver's license. I live in the Netherlands, a right-hand traffic country (with the steering wheel at the left). A week ago I was in United Kingdom, a left-hand traffic country (with the steering wheel at the right).
That is different, so I took driving lessons for 2 hours in the UK. I was nervous in the first 20 minutes, but not in the remaining 100 minutes. My own car is a manual gear car, and I am used to it, but in the LHT countries I must have a rental car with automatic gear. On the third day I took a rental car and drove from Heathrow to Liverpool and Edinburgh. I also went to Glasgow. In 4 days I drove 600 miles, about 1000 km. Driving at the left side of the road is fun.
So, in the future, I can rent a car in LHT country like South-Africa and Japan; they are my most favorite countries. I was there but I never had a rental car.
I want to learn how to drive and I'm autistic
I’m not suffering any anxiety at all, I’m excited and I don’t want to be driven around anymore. My dad said I’m not ready to learn how to drive yet and I have to wait.
I have autism and it took me 100 hours of practice! I passed my road test 9 years ago and have only one warning.
Thanks 🙏🏾
I was undiagnosed in high school, which meant I don’t know about my autism’s strengths. I wish the drivers ed class could’ve been smaller. As I felt anxious when called upon to answer questions. I felt like my teachers couldn’t take interest in me. When I failed my theory drivers test, I was shocked. The other boys in school were excited to know if I got my license. Now I know I am autistic I want to learn how to apply my strengths to learning how to drive.
Well I'm an adult I went to Driving School seven years ago 2015 I passed my vision test by flunk the written test I haven't went back ever since all those years ago I'm still learning I'm still trying to get prepare to get my license
I can tell its going to take me long dedication and time to get my license, im at least happy once you get your L's you can ask someone to keep practicing with you, worst comes to worse i'll have to be ready for a whole years worth of finding an instructor to drive with and that costs a lot im hoping all the lessons pay off. Might just consider finding a service that is for disability driving or driving course classes a long with that pretty sure if you pick a driving instructors specialized for people with autism or adhd that would make a big difference. I really think my memory needs to be better but its going to take time and repetition. Im really desperate to get my licence just to drive in my town to get to my appointments, groceries or physio. The buses are not great in my town, one weekend took me 4 buses and early curfews of no bus times, i would love to just have some independence on weekends to go out rather then waiting for my carer to take me out each week, just in case of emergency i want to have a license im pretty sure if you practice in town only you'll get the hang of remembering what each street does, i just hope i don't end up giving up and getting tired of it.
I got Adhd and I’m learning how to drive to
Hi Ella. It was a really good video but mostly of the difficulty addressed on the video is when it comes to actually driving. How it was to deal with the theoretical test, having to know all the codes and signs and such? I'm not in the spectrum but my boyfriend is and he had a hard time on taking the theoretical test, has failed 3 times and he feels very stressed with not passing it. Do you have any tips on this? P. S. : sorry for my bad english, it's not my 1st language.
so , im 21 .. i cant drive yet ,i start learning when i was 18 with my father who has anger issues and abuser i had my license for one year now i tried to go out so mannnny times every time im around cars or gas station i can hear him yelling or screaming to me that we are going to crash ... at this point i just want to learn driving so i can have job since my only income is something called student funds (all collage students get money from the gov in Saudi Arabia as long as the gpa is higher than 2.5/5) also im "not autistic " (cant get assessment bc I'm above 18 )
I got my license at a "normal" age but I firmly believe that it would have taken me a long time if I had not lived in an extremely rural area (zero high congestion city driving) and had to learn from an instructor (where I live my parents were allowed to teach me).
Love you Harry Potter Quidditch lego set
It’s like the time when I was in high school and I was struggling with learning equations in chemistry and I asked for help a couple of times and still struggled with it.
Hello Purple Ella as a young adult I was not allowed to drive because of my epilepsy. Now my epilepsy is under-control, I am not able to learn to drive due to my fibromyaligia as I have chronic fatigue chronic fatigue. Apart from autism, I also have dyslexia and ADHD. Hopefully if the near future when my health conditioned is better I may take up driving.
#Actually Autistic Katrine Basso I’m epileptic with fibromyalgia and dyslexia too. YOU CAN DO IT!!! I hope you feel better pain wise soon! ❤️
I have autism and epilepsy myself. Learning to drive is actually my biggest goal in life and not only will my autism not stop me but definitely neither will my epilepsy!
@@sapphire-fj3mm Everyone is different and fibromyalgia affects everyone differently. I do not have a social network of people to help me. I have a lot of stress, worries and trauma in my life. I live in the UK and as 57 year old autistic adult, I would find it very expensive to learn how to drive. I am not in work and hardly been in paid work and it is not from want of trying as I have been in various government employment training and work experience programmes and Job clubs where I spent most of the time sending hundreds and thousands of speculative letters and emails for any employment. I do not have any educational qualifications as when I was at school in the 70's I was subject to IQ tests where they told me that I had a low IQ. I greatly struggled in school and suffered a lot of bullying even in college by pupils, students and staff. The roads in Thurrock are very busy and there are always traffic accidents. Where I live it is impracticable for me to learn to drive as there is nowhere to park. My fibromyalgia pain and fatigue is with me 24/7 and suffer from abuse from my neighbours. Also in the UK you must be from free having epileptic seizures for 5 years. It is good that you both have a strong will of mind to succeed in getting your goals. But everybody's circumstances is different and everyone is unique.
@@Katyestella63 actually it's 1 year seizure free if you're planning on learning or returning to driving.
it has come to my attention that i am in the minority amongst the atypical on this subject. driving has never been an issue for me.... the test not so much. i have never passed the test first time. how ever i have only had one accident (hydroplaning). avoided many accidents where i should have had one. learned and mastered a manual transmission in less than a day and have worked as a courier and done a little drag racing. and i am relatively sure my autism (or my coping mechanisms) has a lot to do with my how i learned to drive well.
I’m 22, autistic and I am working towards on getting my permit, and I don’t know how to drive, and I know it will be challenging for me. I really want to see if I will like driving or not.
Hi Ella, I am not Autistic person.. I learnt to drive long ago as I needed to practice with an instructor. At that time the guy did not accept that I could not drive well. He also shouted at me then I declined to learn the drive. This is still extensive trauma to me still I do not drive I use Uber. I am scared to drive... as the old memory makes me bad.
Sounds really familiar. I was dreading driving all my life but had this odd fearlessness during pregnancy so I went to learn. It was going good (well, considering I need to practice 10-20 times where a regular person needs 3 I was doing fine... but it seems that instructors just never ever teach slow learners despite what they say) till I gave birth. My fear returned and I felt that impatience of the instructor. He expected me to be better by that point and I could feel it and it made everything worse. I've changed the instructor to a more opaque person, I asked him not to say certain things to me and he agreed (like 'there is a lot of work ahead of us still!') and I made a progress but still they never believe when I say I'm 10-20 times slower at learning most things and they should put on their teaching face and persevere. They just won't believe me and would feel disappointment and I would feel it (I say feel but I mostly hear it). So I stopped trying three years ago and never got to that stage where I wasn't thinking after reaching the destination 'I've got lucky today and managed not to die'. My husband says it was 6-12m of driving till he stopped thinking this himself but I couldn't make myself to do it that long :(
im coming to a point where public transport is now burning me out but i keep failing my test
I'm 39 and can't drive. Freaks me out.
I managed to to mildly traumatize myself while learning to drive because my parents implied I wouldn't be able to get my license without classes. My rebellious teenage self took that as a challenge and the next 4 years (2006-2010) getting screamed at by my parents for every driving mistake. I still can't drive with my parents in the car.
You didn't traumatize yourself. Others do that
I've had over 100 hours failed 4 driving tests so far whatever I do I can't seem to pass I'm Autistic pupil with complexed needs
I have heard automatic cars are easier to drive than manual
I never had a problem with driving. It's the neurotic driving inspector that freaks out if you drive too smoothly that freaked me out.
I eventually just taught myself. (Or rather, I practiced by myself. I "knew" how to drive but I needed some practice.)
The part I struggled with the most is anything that required reversing. The mirrors flip left and right and that used to confuse me.
Is this really a thing? I am an Aspie. Didn't have any problems learning to drive a car (both stick and automatic) and ride a motorcycle.
Yes it is.. I’m so scared 😣
@@wes4744 are you sure? Its possible that this has nothing to do with aspergers.
@@TangomanX2008 Yes I'm sure. It's the uncertainty, the quick decisions, erratic instructions, multitasking problems, loud noises or talking that overwhelm me, my fear of accidentally breaking the rules..etc. All things I struggle with from my anxieties as an Autistic person
@@wes4744 well, is it the multitasking or the fear?
@@TangomanX2008 It's multiple things some of which I listed. There is fear but there are also things I just genuinely struggle with.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to just unalive myself