Voice: A Trans Singer's Story
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2016
- A well-known Portland rock singer transitions from female to male identity, and risks losing his singing voice in the transition process.
Title image credit: Jeff Ryan, Vortex Music Magazine
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![Trans - How To Keep Your Singing Voice On T [CC] || Jeff A. Miller](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/G99_5ur64hs/mqdefault.jpg)
I know this is an old video, but if someone like me finds it while scraping for information about whether or not they’ll be able to sing on T, and that someone scrolls through the comments, I want to say this: don’t be scared. As long as you keep singing while your voice changes, you’ll be able to sing afterwards, too, and you’ll be just as good.
I’ve been on T for two years. I went from alto-soprano to contra-alto, that’s all. 🙂 My range has more or less remained; I just have to pitch my instrumentals down a few keys now. But I still sing publicly and I still get compliments on my voice and whoops in the crowd and all of that good stuff.
It’s okay. Make the appointment. I was scared too, but it all turned out alright. You don’t even have to practice religiously; just make sure you sing in the shower everyday, lol. It was an adjustment, but I adjusted, and I’m just as good as I was.
You’ll still have it.
Thank you.
Isn’t contra-alto for female singers?? 🤔
I am so afraid and ur comment made me cry. I am also an alto-soprano and I have come so far with music already that it terrifies me to change what I love rn. I love how I sing, my range is so wide and I really want to become a singer. It has come so far that I just want to throw away being trans and achieve my dream of being a singer. And that sounds so messed up but I am so scared of losing what I have rn
@@keywi8433 I'm almost 31, and I want T, but after years of singing Christine's parts in Phantom of the Opera, I'm terrified of losing my ability to sing.
Ugh, it's encouraging to hear these things, I am FREAKING OUT right now. 8 months on T and while it's totally rad that I've lost my upper range and gained a lower one, I'm in a heavy punk band and my YELL/scream is GONE right now. I can't get any grit. I thought "losing my singing voice" would be fine because I'd suddenly be a brutal screamer but I haven't been singing or doing regular warmups and I can say without that, I got almost nothing to work with here, it's embarrassing. TODAY I'm committing to a morning vocal warmup and to see if that helps me get some of my control and grit back while my voice is still changing.
This makes me feel a lot less scared of going on testosterone
Did you end up going on? I'm a singer and just started T
Age Account Same
same!
@@haydenfightsthis I found your comment and I'd like really like to know how it went. I'm a professional singer too and i identify as ftm as well. So I'm really eager to know about your journey with T.:)
@@jamielemoi9761 Hi! I'm about 8 months in at this point and honestly it's been totally fine for me - I really freaked myself out for no reason. I was so worried I'd "lose" my singing voice, but I haven't, it's just as beatiful as before but even better because it doesn't make me dysphoric anymore. There were about 2 months (months 3-5) where it was harder to sing - where I had trouble finding notes and it was a bit all over the place and I freaked out a bit, but everything settled at around 5 months in :) My voice is still changing but my range is about as wide as before - just shifted registers. I still love singing, I still sing well, I was really worried over it and I shouldn't have been. I even postponed my starting of testosterone because I was so worried and I'm so glad I decided to take T because now I look and sound like myself and I enjoy singing even more than before :)
I'm a musical preformer of 11 years and I fear losing my gift more than anything but I want to be a boy...its so hard.
hey, hope you've found your way - if not, imma help you.
If you choose to go on testosterone you will need to practice singing a lot. BUT don't overdo it. It's going to be alright!! :)
Tj Robinson your singing voice doesn’t always leave. If you keep up with singing it will grow with you. Listen to Cavetown. His singing voice was great before but after his voice sounded even better.
@@markie_p Cavetown is not trans lol He just hadn't hit puberty yet...
YuTopia I mean, to be fair he has a song called dysphoria talking about gd but I mean you don’t have to think so.
FTM singer here! You'll be fine! Be ready for change but loving yourself more is so worth it. You'll still sing, and you'll be singing with your real voice. Because you'll be you.
And you're already a boy.
I love how supportive his band mates are
where
hearing the story of the song "Voice" and watching the band get emotional almost made me tear up... i'm so proud to see such a person in this world, supportive of himself and supported by his friends...
i know right??! omg!!
wow as a trans singer myself, this gave me so much hope. i love his energy and also the way his bandmates talk dearly about him. such a beautiful story
I’m starting on T soon and singing was what kept me hesitant for so long, but after years of research I’ve finally felt ready to do it and it’s people like him that help make all this possible
This was a huge concern for me too, but, gotta take the good in with the 'bad'. Bad is just relative though, it was more like... Fear. And change. Change isn't always bad, but it's scary when it's something so personal and integral to your self expression. I regained control of my voice within a year, and even through the time that I couldn't control it properly it wasn't *bad* as such, I just had to stick to lower registers and stay less acrobatic with it. Relearning your voice can be hard, but doing it as yourself, authentically and with passion and love for yourself, is just amazingly powerful.
I've just started T, I'm a singer and tried to convince myself I could go without HRT because I was so scared about losing my singing voice. But my dysphoria was just too bad so I've started and every now and then I think "what have I done? I've ruined my voice" but this is really reassuring. If you have any advice I'd love to hear :)
i've seen this video before testosterone, and am now nearly 6 months on T. my voice is undergoing a lot of changes and every time i'm scared of the change i remember this beautiful story. hopefully soon I'll start taking vocal coaching lessons. even though i lost my comfort with my vocal range and cannot sing many notes i could before, i'm much happier like this. that statement, "i will give you my voice" is entirely true. little by little you begin sounding like someone else, but that someone is the person you've always wanted to be. it is a certain sacrifice, but for inner peace i promise it's worth it
Congrats on 2 yrs🎉
your story might as well have just saved my life. i was a wonderful singing pre-hrt, and i figured i would find a way to adapt and love my singing voice even more with time, because even though my female singing voice was beautiful, it still wasn't *my voice*, you know? but with transition, my range went from mezzo-soprano to bass, and i can't figure out for the life of me how to actually sing anymore. lately i've been feeling like giving up. and i can't, cause... music is my life. singing is my life. being a male frontman to the band of my dreams is everything i've ever dreamed of. and it hurts so much to feel like it's just never gonna happen. but your story gave me hope. im gonna keep trying. im gonna find my voice and im gonna love it just like i'm supposed to. thank you so much. i wish you the best.
Did you find it??? "being a male frontman to the band of my dreams is everything i've ever dreamed of." This made me tear up. I AM fronting the band of my dreams and to be the man I've always wanted to be in that is a reminder that even though my voice is shot right now, maybe I can get it back and be that guy. Finally. WHOOF.
@@ro.chambo oof! this took me back! yeah, i think i did find it. took me a while and a lot of work, it's weird getting used to a new throat sort of, right? i think my singing voice still isn't *quite there* but it's finally my own, if that makes sense? but what i did find was my screaming voice!!! ive always been super into early 00s posthc and 90s skramz and like. i couldn't scream at all. and now my screaming voice is pretty badass. found a new band which is on hiatus since we all have 9-5 jobs and lots of problems right now but hey! im a lot more patient now, as well. cause ive got it! no need to chase after it! it's mine to keep!
wishing you well! thanks for reaching out. gonna think about this interaction for a very long time. keep going, friend. it's gonna be better than you have ever imagined! ❤️
@@beachvermin OMGGGGGG 😭 This response is EVERYTHING. I really thought that "losing my singing voice" would mean that I couldn't sing pretty anymore but I would immediately have the brutal screams and yells I've always wanted. They are GONE RN and I've been devastated. Hearing you say that it might still be possible and might be everything I've hoped for is freaking MEDICINE, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Also I'd love to hear your band if y'all have anything to follow! 🔥
Almost made "the appointment" to get hormones this month. Thoughts about losing my voice stopped me cold. I think it's just going to take time for me as well to be okay with the risk. Also want to record my voice as it is now at least as evidence that I could sing once. :\
Hey! You shouldn't be worried. with practice, you will be able to sing well again, but remember that your voice will be under strain from changing, so do not be beaten down within those first few months (sometimes over a year). That strain is not permanent, and you can work through it with practice. it is also a great opportunity to really go back to the basics of singing in terms of how you are controlling your throat and vocal folds which in the long term will improve your singing overall.
If I lose my career or my ability I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep on living. It’s been ten years now that I’ve been out and I’ve never touched T. I don’t know which will win out in the end, my need to live as myself or the greatest passion and love of my life. I’ve seen folk/indie ftm singers but I’m a pro jazz/opera singer and I have no hope. I wish I could take T and have it work like estrogen, and not affect my voice.
I don’t know what to do. The clock keeps ticking
@@markwickham7338 hey, how's it going now? i hope you're feeling better about it.
6:53
I started to cry right before this point.
I f e e l this.
Love this.. I was freaking out too. I'm still uneasy though
But what band is he in I'm so confused where can I listen to this guy
Lemon King their band is called Little Star. They're on Spotify btw
His new project is called Layperson. layperson.bandcamp.com !
You have such wonderful, loving, supportive band mates, Julian. That is so wonderful. I can tell that you are loved.
If anyone is looking to find music you can find it under Layperson in iTunes or Spotify. Can also visit Layperson.bandcamp.com.
Julian Morris I’ve done a ton of digging (googled the lyrics, listened to all your tracks on band camp etc.) and I can’t find it, so, what song are you singing at 1:30 ?? I need to know!
THANK YOU! I was wondering! Weird that they didn't full on promote the band by sharing the name FREQUENTLY. Local band support fail lol.
So relatable. I was so scared at the beginning that I would be trading my voice for a beard, it's not an easy decision but I couldn't continue as I was. More than a year later I'm still struggling and my voice is never going to be the same, but I'm not giving up on it.
sat here at about 4 months on T only just realising i was putting off a grieving process for my previous range. my voice has slowly dropped since i went on blockers and i went from a mezzo to an alto. i didn’t realise how drastically my voice would change initially, especially the sudden loss of my head voice. i had a falsetto for the first couple of months and now it’s gone, i try and sing and it either breaks or no sound comes out. im an actor/theatre maker. want to do musical theatre, not necessarily professionally but at least on the side and my range has dipped down into baritenor almost immediately it seems. im not adjusted to this....i think with time im either just gonna have to accept that my range isn’t up there anymore, and adjust myself to the types of characters that fit my new vocal range and im gonna have to get used to that, and/or accept it’s going to take time to get any of those notes back again. it’s hard, but it’s just one of those things. i know i can sing the way i want to, it’s just gonna take time, and i know i couldn’t have made it to this point without testosterone. i have given my voice too, it seems. :(
I love singing. I’ve given up so much of my life for it, but it also makes me INCREDIBLY dysphoric, and it makes me incredibly self conscious. At this point, the way I see it is I know how to sing. That’s the main part. Adjusting myself around wherever my voice sits is just that. Adjusting.
Honestly when I heard your voice before you started T, it felt off a bit, like if you had a masculine voice it'd be perfection, it just for a so beautifully
yea, so I have an issue when it comes to range: I'm pre t and I'm a tenor already, so what's gonna happen? is my voice going to get lower than that, or stay the same, in terms of range?
It will get lower. The vocal chords are thickening on t. Also idk whether you're aware of that, but the music for men's parts is written an octave higher than it is sung and if you're singing along with songs and think you are hitting the notes, you might be singing them an octave higher without knowing because the voice tension is the same. But you might also have very low voice already, I have never heard you sing, but maybe that helps =)
You can probably stay a tenor if you practice your voice a lot. The time will change a bit, and your range will probably dip much lower. Depends on how deep your voice already is.
Nice tenor voice. I’m a tenor too. I began T almost 5 years ago.
I wanna start on T but I too am nervous about loosing my voice but the thing is I'm so dysphoric about my voice that I feel I'm losing it anyway. So either way I'm risking losing it but with T I might gain it back... I'm still scared about it though. My bandmate is very accepting and I really hope it works out and my transitioned voice goes well with his because we're both going to be vocalists.
Awesome! Hello from fellow PNW trans musicians :)
I am watching this bc I am nearly 7 months on T and have completely lost my singing voice. Im heart broken. I don't know what to do. I could cover many different female artists and now it's just dead. What do I do?!?!?!?
Mitchell Ferguson what do you mean by lost it? If you mean range, it’s gonna change but it’s all about adjusting :) vocal exercises and training will help! But if you mean lost it in the sense of not being able to carry a tune, that shouldn’t happen and you may want to go to a doctor and check your ears, nose, throat etc. I hope I could help out a little, it’s always scary for a big part of you to change, especially a singing voice.
@@alexhornewer8396 that is very true. I still carry a tune well I suppose. I guess I remember hearing a note and being able to hit it now i can't which yes its to be expected
I dig your singing style! Kind of old worldly.
How can people dislike this it is amazing and I mean I am trans to it is amazing and awsowm
It would be great if they participated in any Coos County Pride events. It's pretty isolating living in small town on the coast and not everyone can make it up to Portland. Folx would appreciate it ;)
Thank you.
I'm so scared of losing my voice
Such a beautiful story
does anyone know the song in the start of the video I can't find it anywhere😭
I’m a musical performer and I’m worried about getting on hormones and changing my voice. My director told me tonight that she loves my voice and thinks it’s incredible. I have a decent 2 1/2 octave range as of right now and I’m worried I’ll mess up what I already have which is a good belting voice and a decent lower range. I was so sure I wanted hormones until tonight. Do I want to give up something that makes me so happy for the possibility of being happier?
i love this band so much
He’s so handsome omg ❤️
I am a ftm trans and yes i am a singer too 😍👻
whats this band called
what's the first track?
This link might help: www.portlandmercury.com/music/2017/03/08/18883268/as-layperson-julian-morris-gives-us-his-voice
thanks :)
Don't know if you're still interested but I managed to find it after some searching around layperson.bandcamp.com/album/layperson
It's 'Liver Function'
where are the social medias for the band or individual because i'm pretty sure he's not the dude from PLL
Like the little mermaid traded her voice for legs
? You don't risk losing your voice from having it deepen, no more than any other guy.
It's just a fear trans men who sing have. I have that fear. I know I'm just gonna have to work with it, but it's a lot.
Michael Anglin same
Honestly, I think I wrote this comment out of jealousy. I am a trans woman who developed into a bass-baritone. I’ve been at work converting it into more of a mezzo / dramatic soprano voice...
🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🌈
Daddy!
Another tenor, :/
A transman whos baritone is very rare and a transman whos a bass, isnt even possible.
@@Moonmoon-ws6jo how do you know dan is trans?
look up leon bell, hear his voice
you'll always be xx, forever, no matter the lie you live, a fact you can't deny.
XX but boy, what's the matter?
This is horrible.