Her BF Liked IG Model's Pictures So She Got Surgery TO LOOK LIKE HER. He Left & Now She Regrets It
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- Опубликовано: 20 авг 2024
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This is me literally. I was with a man that literally said “I have to look at these women because you’re nothing to look at.” I was told “you’re nothing to drool over”
I got a bbl, now I’m sexualized constantly. He got overly jealous, but it left me resentful towards him and myself. Why wasn’t I good enough before?
Guys r just like that
Dw girl ur gonna be alrite, we all make mistakes in this life just learn from the pain💖
@@nuve9190 Hmmm. Are they tho. All of them?
Why not leave the man? Especially if he was telling you you're not good enough 🤷♂️
@chrrycola2717 she permanently changed how she looked to meet her partners desires.
Sure she should of just dropped him. But dude chill. Imagen if all women stopped giving an fk if men found them attractive.🤣
You’ll never be good enough for the wrong person.
THis comment should have the most likes
the is the most obvious yet smart statement I read today
or for anyone . everyone is self motivated and thats ok . asking for unconditional love is psychotic .
@@myname-mz3lo Your pessimistic, and that’s not okay.
@@myname-mz3lo see a lotta psychos out there, do you?
I’m glad a woman was actually upfront about their reason for surgery and not lying saying they did it for themselves
ong
But the only reason she admitted it is because she is trying to shame her ex boyfriend
@@laidbacksage2574 it’s really sad cause she can shame all she wants but that boyfriend ain’t coming back 😂
@@laidbacksage2574 I don't even think she's doing that, it's like someone who smoked their entire lives and got cancer saying "hey, don't smoke. This can really fuck you up"
I'm glad we saw more downsides of plastic surgery besides it not being natural or reducing sensitivity.
I was against plastic surgery from the get-go but didn't know it was irreversible that's new to me.
I feel like girls are constantly exposed to shit like this on the daily. The constant pressure to look nice, because everyone treats the prettier girls better. I love how real she was, many girls can learn from her.
Lol. Don't pretend that men don't have topless dudes on every other billboard.
It's so boring hearing the same crying points from you lot.
exactly
And people don't treat handsome men better than ugly men?
@@onbored9627As an ugly man, you have a couple options outside of being attractive to get better treatment. You can be tall, speak well, or dress well. For women, I don’t think these things are as effective as just having a pretty face.
@@gummy5862 Im sorry you suffer with that condition.
Ima have to disagree with y’all on this one. If you’re in a relationship with a man, there’s no reason he should be looking at, fantasizing, or liking pictures of half naked women on Instagram. And vise versa. That’s low vibration behavior. Looking at girls in the street, different story. That’s human nature. But to be chronically on Instagram looking at and FANTASIZING about other women that’s not your girl, not right. It is not normal nor should it be acceptable.
Amen! It’s not only called respect but if he has to do that then it shows he’s not satisfied with you (generally) and shouldn’t be with you in the first place! I always say “Let me know NOW, so i can move on to the one who will love me for me”
Also, if a woman looked at pictures of other men whilst in a relationship with a man already, she’d be called out for immediately
Whilst I somewhat agree with you. If you view this as wrong, why are you with this person to begin with? Let alone trying to please him/her to look like whomever they fantasize? If you don't see the sign that you should leave them then not only are they playing you, you are playing yourself. This woman did double that by putting on irreversible weight to please a man that can't be pleased. If you see the Soviet Army flags in sight, run the other direction.
If someone is on social media at all that’s a red flag. Lol
I'm curious: how is it different from looking at a woman on the street to looking at a woman on the internet? Both are objectively the same.
Any relationship based solely on outward appearances is doomed to failure.
I'd date you because you're hot. And the only thing doomed would be that pussay
Yep... Life happens you will get old, you will deal with illness. It's just life. My husband still loves me no matter how good I look. Even when I was in an accident that damaged my face, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, he still loves me. My face has miraculously recovered, but that took over a year.
Based on only 😂is she doesn't take care if herself than the relationship is a lost cause
when I started looking to women as a future wife, I found myself not caring about the super model look, chubby is good, curvy is good, kind girl is perfect cause she will be a wife and a mother not a gift for people online. to my luck, looking at the world more and more I found that this is actually how relationships should be, looks fade over time and you will get bored of it.
If pizza is great, eating the best pizza in the world everyday will be slickening...
@@lovetobe6118 the primary thing for loving you wasn't your look, he likes you how you are and that's great, we see people cheat on their partner when they are top notch attractive, it's cause they covered their hearts and opened their eyes.
As a guy, if a man tells you he likes girls that don’t fit your description, move on. That’s vice versa for the guys too. If your not improving yourself for you and it’s just for some girl than you got internal issues to fix.Don’t ever force yourself into a box for somebody. You gotta learn how to love yourself because people will make you feel like shit if you let them
A man can find multiple types of women attractive; thats not a reason to leave.
Completely agree with you sir 😊 great advice
@@morgangreen2601 that’s a great reason to leave.he should only think of his girl as attractive.
@@iwillgowiththatcat8667 When men or women get into relationships they can't just suddenly stop finding other people attractive.. It's just a natural part of biology. What's wrong with finding other people attractive? Doesn't mean you're gonna go and fuck them.
@@iwillgowiththatcat8667 thats ridiculous
I never realized how understanding Aba is. I don’t think anyone should change themselves for someone else but the way he tries to see her pov is very nice to see. I respect the heck out of you
It’s super refreshing to find content online with people being reasonable.
Ditto
Thanks to this comment, I finally know who is Aba and who's Preach.
I was 200lbs and never worked out when I first got with my ex. He would constantly point out skinnier girls and call them hot, even my friends and my sister. When I got super fit and lost over 70 lbs, he accused me of doing it “to find someone else”. You have to do your body mods (fake or not) FOR YOU. Its all about how YOU feel and how much you enjoy your appearance, no man or woman should hold enough weight over you to be making change your looks especially with non reversible surgeries!!!! Love yourself!
Just tell them to eff off and find someone they actually want and stop stressing you out with their bullshit
I'm so sorry, he sounds awful.
The weight was only a means of control, else he would have been with someone who was his ideal size. If it wasn't the weight, he'd neg about something else as a means of control.
I used to be very insecure, and my girlfriend told me "If I'm with you, it's because I want to, stop questioning yourself". Hope that helps others with insecurity issues.
W woman
im sorry to tell you mate
but she will leave soon
protect your heart now or regret it later
@@Joeology432 let him be happy and pray they thrive
Bruh that clock is ticking. Man the fuck up or she will leave you
I get the sentiment but I don't agree that it's a hard rule
I have a cousin who went through something similar. After she had her third kid in her late 30's she gained a little weight and things started moving a little bit south. I never thought it she looked that different but her husband started taking shots at her body and complaining, even going so far as to comment that he was upset she didn't look like she did when they met 20 years ago at thanksgiving dinner in front of everyone. Eventually my cousin started getting all kinds of lifts and tucks in an attempt to get her old body back but her husband still ended up leaving her for a younger woman and she feels very much the same as the girl in the video, that it wasn't worth it and there was no point to having done it. Now she's struggling with her relationships because a lot of the more decent and stable guys in their late 30's and 40's don't actually want to be with someone who's had all of that work done. As bad as I feel for her I can't help but think if you've reached a point where you feel you have to go to such extremes just to keep someone that should be a clue that there's nothing left to salvage.
That guy was a red flag. She should have never done those surgeries for that sleaze bag. Men like these have no empathy at ALL when it comes to bodies changing after pregnancy. I am not saying that the woman should have no accountability because she should not have changed herself for that shallow sleaze bag. But that sleaze bag had a bunch of red flags. He was a pig. That is all.
She advertised her body while saying the body modifications were no bueno. The women who were susceptible to having surgery, are still going to have surgery. The image she portrayed is sooo much more stronger than anything she had coming out of her mouth. The people are in trance at this point, and can only communicate through picture and song.
Sooooo true 100%
Right I was thinking the same thing. She kept lowering her pants and turning around, she claims she hates it but appeared to be showing off.
I sensed that too... she wanted to marketize herself and her body. She’s apparently proud of the results her booty waist and boobs and doesn’t sound as a person who regrets it at all.
Exactly my thoughts. In fact, the video comes off as her trying to reduce the competition.
@@myyoutube129And u seem like a dude, so surely, a woman’s body is going to come off as “showing off” to you, for you, because u can never understand what they go through, or even their perspective. I wonder whats to “show off” about, when she’s talking about something serious, a discussion that goes *against* the very male gaze audience, by also ranting about one of them, to whom you claim she “shows off” to?
Pretty sad when someone sees themselves as just their body. They become a prisoner to fashion, fads, and other people. This is a form of insanity.
Nope. Only a prisoner of themselves. Stop protecting women from accountability for their own actions.
@@bobroberts2581 the amount of pressure and stress we face every day to look like what the screen shows us is still more than enough to cause enough distress that will lead to insecurities and self-esteem issues. Us being bombarded by that shit and men validating it as well by calling it "meh it's just a fantasy", it should take a lot of maturity and life experience for women to move past that. And a lot of us don't survive . Just like that girl in the video. It's more complex than the accountability vs victimhood rhetoric.
I don't think it starts as someone seeing themselves as just a body its just how the world treats people and people adjust to survive. When that's what the majority reduces people to survival instinct kicks in creating people to conform Not everyone in lucky bless to have real people that seems them for them. Looks do matter in getting jobs being treated with respect in public. People do tend to shun those that don't meet a certain standard
EAT EASE EH SEEK NEHHHHSSSS!
And we do not want it.
@@oumab1637 well said
no matter how much surgery you get, if you were insecure before then you'll likely be insecure after. this is why its so important to work on your self-image and learn to love yourself first before deciding to do something permanent, dangerous, and expensive
👍
Goated!
To add on to that there's an amazing book written by a plastic surgeon that talks about how he after he preformed surgey on his patients and eliminated what they believed their "insecurity" was a lot would stil struggle with that insecurity, develop new ones or get more sugurey. So he studied self image and self estseem for years and deep dove into psychology to figure out how not only he could give his patients a new confidence and self esteem on the outside but also on the inside. It's one of if not the best book on self image you can read.
It's called Psycho cybernetics
Say it louder for the people in the back, everyone needs to hear this
Yep, and I think she still doesn't like herself, she blamed him even after he's gone, and made that video for clout but not for a bigger conversation
Yeah the only time I can understand stand plastic surgery is if it’s potential health issues (removing access skin from weight loss which can cause it’s own set of issues, or breast reduction for the ridiculous back breaking sizes) or if it’s covering horrific scars on someone who was severely burned or mauled by an animal.
I fully understand her. We live in a world, where a lot of people think that actions in real life have effect on a relationship, but not actions in the internet. If your partner is not accepting, that you feel insecure about them 'lusting' over instagram models or porn or whatever. Leave. In a relationship you have to find compromises and if your partner cant control their sexual desires, they are not ready for a relationship. I can talk from experience. I got lied to many times by the same partner. And he NEVER CHANGED.
Listen it's self esteem issues, we can look and still love our girl. You shouldn't be trying to change into that, like it's not really a fantasy. We are just straight, if we see an ass then we like it. That doesn't mean we need it or want it. We probably already genuinely have what we want.
Idk man cuz as girls, we dont look so we except the same thing but biology is what it is so we try to cope as much as we can and sometimes that includes becoming insecure. That's why I stay single because I know any guy is gonna look, might as well save the heartache and not have to stress about this@@lastatmullen1185
Do you ask girls to shut down their social media too if the guy asks or is that girls choice as well? Its not your guy's problem that he is a normal guy, its a you problem getting jealous over nothing real. Men like tits and ass and pretty chicks, being in a relationship or not does nothing to that. Who we love has nothing to do with which girl we think is hot, a lot of them.
This is why you have to figure out who you are as a person before you date anyone, so you can grasp your personal image in your mind on who you are and feel most like yourself. You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but you're gonna be someone else's cup of tea.
Does she not realize that dudes can be attracted to a type of woman yet not date them? Most dudes like big butts and STILL might end up dating somebody with a little butt just because they actually like the woman for who she is as a person. IG models are eye candy and nothing more.
Some women seem to think just because a guy thinks a woman is pretty(er than her) that he automatically wants to date her
@@KaitouKaiju It's a mistake to think that men operate on hypergamy. It's why some women are so competitive with each other
To be perfectly honest they’re not even eye candy. They’re just silicone women desperate for attention and validation.
And also, who says he has a type? Let's be honest, being in a relationship with someone doesn't make you asexual. You will still find others attractive, it's just that since they're not your girlfriend and they don't have what makes her special, you don't go for those people.
To me, it just feels like she made a big deal about her bf liking a(in his opinion) hot chick pic on Instagram. It doesn't mean he wants to cheat, it just means he's a heterosexual human being.
I'm not saying you should be ogling every person you find attractive right in front of your partner or that you should cheat, I'm just saying the fact that she did all this, not because her bf cheated( which, even in that case, she should accept that he was trash and move on), but because he liked some Instagram pics is kinda weird.
this is what I am trying to say and I am a woman! I am learning about the differences in mating strategies between men and women through reading books like the case against the sexual revolution by louise perry and the evolution of desire by david buss
This is sad. But I do find funny that she invested in a BBL rather than putting that money into therapy to sort out her insecurities. I'm glad she's come to the realisation she has now though.
Yo I thought the same thing…BBL is worth more than Mental Health?? That’s crazy
Hell, she could've just gone to the gym
Lol.
@@theezenriarinze9203 She could've even gone to the buffet.
True
If my man likes a lot of insta models pics, and I communicated how that bothers me, and he doesn’t stop. That’s a red flag for me. Maybe not be Korn videos, but it’s still unhealthy for a person to constantly seek sexual satisfaction from strangers that is not your partner. I would leave and keep my peace.
That is simply not how men work, maybe learn about that first. You think we fantasize ourselves with random women like women do, we don't. its a impulse and a need and nothing else. There is nothing unhealthy about it its how men are. If they aren't that cause most likely, they have low sex drive or they priotise work life over love life.
There’s a difference between fantasy and real people. Him continuing to give positive affirmations to another woman’s personal social media is micro cheating. He can look etc, but he didn’t have to go the extra step of “liking” it.
Respect to this women for her very real and raw honesty. These compulsions to change one’s appearance come from a lack of love, not receiving love, not loving oneself, not being able to feel or express unconditional love.
😢
WomAN, not womEN.
@@thegoodoldboys100 thank you sir you are not wrong
She clearly just wants attention I’m not going to respect her at all for that
@@Phoenix-tq8lt I’m curious if you can share further why you feel she just wants attention, tbh I’m not seeing it.
So when I was in college my friend and I were both talking about what we would get done if we had the money. Sharing deep rooted insecurities and halfway through both of us realize that we didn't know what the other one was talking about. I was literally pointing at my face trying to describe it to her and she had no idea what I was trying to say. We both realized our insecurities were nonexistent and I haven't thought about surgery seriously since.
That's a good friend!
Lots and lots of makeup tho clown
@@isaiah9722 pffffft 😂
I can understand cosmetic surgery for people that seem like they really need it like burn victims or people with cleft lips, etc... but if you're considering surgery just because you feel like your nose looks weird or some shit, then I think you got deeper issues that surgery is not really gonna solve. I think everyone should be comfortable with the way they are (not including obvious self-improvement like working out, or eating right).
@@isaiah9722 incel
I loved the conversation around this topic and genuine feedback from a woman who now struggles post OP as we don't talk about the fallout of plastic surgery enough. When I first met my now partner we both struggled with body image, myself on the edge of surgery for one body part, and him self conscious about his weight and balding. Now 4 years in, he is fitter than he has ever been at 40, and i'm happy with where i'm at no matter what changes happen to my body. But that's because we set the standard for each other right from the beginning. He told me he loves natural women (which I am, no make up, hair dye, i'm pretty boring lol), I told him repeatedly, no matter how he looks I will find him attractive and love him. Which we have proven to each other after a severe weight fluctuation for him going into the Navy and myself being hit by a car as a pedestrian.
Point being, if they want you to change to fit their ideals move on! You deserve someone who will love the person you are not just the skin you're in. Respect and love the body you have, it's gotten you to where you are today, and every imperfection to you may be a masterpiece to someone else.
For someone that is upset about the surgery and hates the way she looks, she seems to flaunt it proudly on social media. Which is the opposite one does when they regret doing something. And that’s fine, just at least be honest about it and admit that it was more for herself than her boyfriend.
I was dating a narcissistic woman and the way they use Instagram is so toxic. She would use social media to manipulate me and put me down by making Instagram stories of her making new friends with random dudes who were doctors and ish like that... I get where she’s coming from a little bit. However, I got out of that relationship and the games all stopped and she begged me to stay.
I’m never letting anyone manipulate me like that again. Not ever.
Sounds like she overplayed her hand. People who aren't used to rejection do it all of the time.
So glad you escaped! It a was a year before I even realizes I was being narcassitically abused. Never even knew human beings were capable of actually attempting to gaslight and psychologically damage another person....
NEVER GO BACK..NEVER
Gigachad comment, don't put up with toxic people in your life, be it girlfriend, friends, family, any body.
glad you escaped that.. stay safe in the streets, bro.. there's more and more of that out there.. hope you also process the impact that had on you so, you are healed (for yourself) and better moving forward.. 👊
@@charissa6648 It’s a hard recovery when you date someone like that. Was 3 1/2 years for me. Lessons learned though.
I actually felt relief that there's a young woman who can open up and be honest about why she did. I didn't feel the same animosity I do when girls claim to do everything for themselves (that men just so happen to find attractive.) I really do wish her the best.
Why would you feel animosity? You weirdo.
uhm... usually it IS for ourselves literally wtf are u talking abt
@@honeylushpussyyeah and it just “happens” that men like it.
i’m sarcastic ofc, i’m a girl and all the OP saying is that there are things girls do for men and claim we do it all for ourselves. some things are for ourselves and some are for men, no shame in that it’s only natura
Not only for men lesbians are doing it too its that new barbie body woman are being told is attractive and sexy. My husband has a big butt and i love it so every one happens to like it.
I learned from my friend who for some reason wanted to do it, that sometimes when girls say they do it for “themselves”, they mean their self-confidence.
Society has subconsciously ingrained certain ideas in our heads as “being attractive” or “being successful and of worth”. So logically, if you mímick those ideas, then you would feel they hold true for you as well whether people give you validation or not because the world has already validated it.
I love this video. As a women who is naturally small I started to feel insecure about myself. Finally starting to love myself again. It's a good feeling.
I love how honest she is. Yeah, she’s made a mistake, but she’s very honest about it and doesn’t try to “play it cool” by saying she did this for herself, that she doesn’t regret it and that others should do it too. No, she actually helps other girls to avoid the same mistake, and I absolutely love her for that.
This is extremely sad. Don’t feel the need to change yourself this much for anybody. Worst part is the irreversibility of it all
It's not far off from switching genders with the tide of the times.
Real shit
@@chalky_white they gon come for you
The man liked a photo on Instagram?? Yo, I do that for nothing. To quote Aba, "it's not that deep." Had she ever asked him what he wanted? I swear communication issues are crazy
@@UnknownNev AYO!! 🤣🤣🤣
My husband's always been attracted to girls who rock a heavy goth look. Not my look at all, but I'm still the one he asked to marry.
He still finds that look super hot, but besides dark hair, I don't try to emulate his fantasy.
Bc that's the whole point of fantasy, it's typically more appealing when it's something you don't have. once you obtain it, it's time for a new fantasy.
That's why her ex is with someone completely different than what she became.
It's sad af she had to learn this the hard way.
**edit bc obviously it's necessary **
*
*
I'm more than happy to play dress up/dye my hair, bc that stuff isn't forever.
but I would never get more piercings or tattoos just bc I know he likes the look.
You have to REALLY hate yourself to change the way you look for somebody else who you JUST started dating. Pathetic.
"that's the whole point of fantasy, it's typically more appealing when it's something you don't have. once you obtain it, it's time for a new fantasy." People who obsess over things but never obtain them don't know how TRUE these words are!!
You don't have to change the way you dress daily but i bet if the encounter was more "intimate" and you dressed goth he'd love it lol.
Exactly
This is so mature of a response I’m surprised it isn’t flagged lol
This has been my experience and I refuse to be with a man that says I’m not his preference. Imagine being with a guy that tells you “you would be perfect if you weren’t black!” Never again. Abeg, go where you are loved.
Anyone who finds other people attractive and drool over them while being in a relationship shouldn't be taken seriously as they only just like you or take you for granted because if they truly love you they would have find you enough and perfect in each spectrum. Beauty lies in the eyes of LOVER.
Which is why waiting to have sex until marriage was the norm for thousands of years
@@someone-ji2zb no it wasn't.
@@koraiemon Yes it was. Most countries had a religion, and those religions (pretty much all of them) condemned premarital sex. It was taboo, so even if people were doing it, they most certainly were not proud of it or openly talking about it.
That shame came with it the result of people forming more families, having less envy for more attractive people, and overall fostered a sense of self discipline we lack today.
Wasn't until around the 60s when contraceptives became a thing that the shame started to wash away, because the responsibility of sex was greatly diminished. But before then the marriage rates were sky high (94% of men before 25 were married in the 50s) and divorce rates at the lowest since before the great depression.
Contrast that to today, where sex is considered to be nothing special.. simply an act of pleasure. When in reality it use to be the driving force for men to build their lives and form families.
@@someone-ji2zb you are right in your way but I don't think it has to be a taboo also only abrahmic religion condemned it not all religions.
If someone is a cheater then they will cheat even after marriage - extramarital affairs exists and in huge amount!
I believe this is extremely important and I’m glad she shared. This obsession with the human form ‘perfected’ has gone way too far and the best way to deal is transparency and understanding that that way of thinking is in fact unhealthy. She maybe the internet definition of beautiful now but look at how she feels about herself. I’m sure she now misses her features and quirks that made her look and body unique. Imagine waking up and not recognizing who you’ve become. This is actually brave to share bc she made a mistake and admits it whilst living through the consequences of said mistake. All of us wrestle with the mistakes we’ve made so being open about it is refreshing.
That's a major issue in America culture it's too looks/beauty focused and not enough focus on personality/behavior of the person.
@@Comeback180 Its not just America.
Yes, if no one was willing to admit past their mistake's others are doomed to repeat why if you fail would you keep it from others that might be going through the same you can stop someone make someone else's life better
yup
She only shared because she's shaming her ex otherwise we would have never heard her story
She took accountability and addressed a real issue. Got my respect
Got my respect too big time.
she is just sneaky, she uses marketing
she blamed him , said she didnt want to advertise this yet she has an instagram that promotes her fake body type ... this was just an add bro wake up
She’s lying….it’s all for attention and clout. But, she’s got what she wanted because now she’s in this popular platform being shared by these creators. Go look up her boyfriend and you’ll see exactly what I mean!
What accountability? If we like a pic on big butt girls that means we hate flat butt girls? It's called attraction...I bet lot of women have the famous bucket list with a special person and all of that.
A man like that isn’t loyal and should be left instantly. The right man will not make you feel like leftovers on a plate that he never once touched.
That was absolutely not the guy's fault. It's completely your fault and your mental issue if you think you think you are a 10 and the guy's type should match you perfectly. It's stupid and immature.
Guy didn't do anything wrong much less disloyal, she got jealous on her own and got surgery on her own. And if you think someone guys in a relationship suddenly don't find hot girls hot then you are the stupid one. Also if you think anybody believes women don't have crushes and have an idea about what a good-looking man looks like its also stupid.
Also, last I checked women shouldn't delete their own insta cause the guy is asking right?
Your feelings are your own business, you are like the women who dream about their bfs cheating and take action in real life.
@@rickycool6083 I actually do match my husbands type perfectly, and he basically worships my body. I don’t have this problem and I think everyone who’s loyal and says they love their wife/gf should act that way. I didn’t even have to ask him to unfollow anyone, he just did it automatically. I don’t know what you’re trying to say tbh since none of it relates to me and seems to oddly specific to something you may have personally experienced???
@@rickycool6083 I am my mans type perfectly, and he practically worships my body. Another thing is, I never had to ask him to unfollow anyone when we started dating, he just did it automatically because he knew I was the one. So for anyone else who gets treated differently than I do, it’s hard to believe he really loves them. Why would a man date a woman or marry her if she wasn’t his type?? Just for sex? A woman gives her whole life and body to you and has kids and she’s not even your type?? That sounds like selfish insanity to me, and I’m very glad I don’t have that problem.
Pro tip: if you want a stable love filled marriage, only date your type and don’t settle for less (also become the best version of yourself every day).
My sister was with a guy for a long time who preferred big booty black girls. He even cheated on her with one. So she decided to get a BBL to be more attractive to him and “keep” him and in the end he left her for a big booty black girl anyway. NEVER change for someone else. Change for yourself, because at the end of the day you are accountable to yourself and only you. People can come and go, and their preferences and opinions will go with them. Save your money, save your peace of mind.
Funny thing is there’s plenty of black men that LOVE AND ADORE flat booty white women and literally talk so much shid about the big booty black women. It’s ok winning either way just gotta be happy with what god gave you!!!
@@aliatianna888 Exactly!
😂
@@aliatianna888 why did your reply make it about black woman. Women like you really get gassed that black men will fu**ck you. SMH.
@@6lake. Nah she’s married now and doing great
As a really thin girl growing up and made fun of, I did feel some pressure to look like the 2000's curvy video vixens in hip hop music videos. Tbh the only reason I didn't get plastic surgery is because I didn't have the money for it.
By 21, I grew out of it and decided plastic surgery wasn't for me. I was ready to accept my bony ass.
Now at 29, I'm even more glad I didn't do it. Once I hit my mid twenties, the hips and booty came outta nowhere - that second puberty is real!
I was always overweight with a flat chest, not even b's. At 29, my chest developed. Now I have E's and very glad I never got them enhanced in my 20's
I’m 31, still waiting for this glow up! 😂😂😂
Have y'all ever heard of diet and exercise?
@@JP-jd8wr wut
@@JP-jd8wr She was skinny. Diet and exercise rarely helps a woman develop more feminine features without a good baseline.
I’ll sometimes come across photos of celebrities that my bf has liked, like Chloe Bailey for example, and I definitely do feel an instant pang of insecurity because she and I look nothing alike, but I get it she’s gorgeous with a great body. Even if I were in the best shape of my life I still wouldn’t have curves like her. I can understand feeling insecure for sure.
How many of such guys are women allowed to "just leave" before their body count is too high and they are a 304??? 🤷🏻♀️
Or should they magically know the guy is like that before dating him? And if she somehow trusts her intuition a few dates into the connection then "she is crazy and making things up in her head", and by the time she has evidence that he is awful, she is too far into the connection...
If she is insecure, she is weak and will be taken advantage of, if she is confident then she is delusional... Really, society??
I'm confused by what you mean here "How many of such guys are women allowed to "just leave" before their body count is too high and they are a 304???"
This is sad. I’m glad someone is talking about this. Girls/women don’t ever compare yourself to people on social media. It’s a trend and trends change. You’re fine the way you are.
Thanks for this 💕
and if you do realise its your fault and dont go dragging someone else trough the mud because you acted irrationally because of insecurities. only date when you love yourself
@@myname-mz3lo she never dragged her ex, she was just talking about her ex liking some pics got to her already low self esteem. She was blaming her insecurities
and men
And most of them are filters
This might just be me, but I feel that some people still believe that attractiveness is based solely on physical appearance. Attractiveness is has so much more depth than just your body in my opinion.
hardly
yea they always are beautiful until they start talking
It is, get over it. Personality only matters after the looks threshold is met for women and the provider/height/networth/potential threshold is met for men. People who can't match this threshold cope or deceive themselves.
@@throwacnt7603 Ikr? It’s so boring, for 99% of people it’s almost completely about physical attraction, the personality and deep connections come muchhhh later into these relationships you form.
But as people like OP we love to attribute these very primal attractions to some mysticism and ineffable qualities like “personality” “soul” “vibe”. It couldn’t be that just like every living organism that’s ever reproduced we’re biologically HARDWIRED to see tits and go OOOOGA BOOOGA, nah it’s your chakras bro, your vibes and energy 👁👁💅💅💅
Don’t work that way for women brodie. Most of it is physical
I searched BBL aging and I'm so upset that people aren't showing that more
It’s interesting how our perspectives change with time. I use to HATE my nose. I even saw a doctor for a surgery consultation. Needless to say I actually like my nose today. Weirdly enough, once my mental health became more stable, changed my diet, and lost some weight…my whole face seemed to change. The happier I became the easier is was to keep my weight off and my face seemed to become more symmetrical. Or maybe I’m just losing my mind and made this all up 😂 but I do think that our bodies become more “appealing” the better we feel 😁
I think there's real merit to that; being in better general health often leads to a boost in confidence, and the boost in confidence leads to a less-critical view of self. The double-positive of being both in better health and having a healthier mindset about ourselves creates something that seems to ultimately be attractive to more people.
Surgery doesn't change insecurities
It's crazy how different your face can be with some weight loss. I've seen dudes who had somewhat ugly faces lose weight and all of a sudden find out they're actually pretty handsome.
YES WOMEN ARE DUMB LOL
@@dylan-5287 Matthew Lewis (played Neville in the Harry Potter movies) is also a good example of this.
I think the lady said she had BPD very quickly near the beginning. Personality disorders especially of a cluster B type are extremely distablising for that person. They will do anything to avoid abandonment. So I guess in her case she changed thinking it would make him stay with her. In other cases people with this PD become extremely difficult and sabotage relationships so they can control who stays and leaves. It seems like she's quite self aware since she's advising people not to change in such a drastic way to be with someone.
This explains a lot. I had a friend that was diagnosed with BPD in high school, but even when we were in elementary school, they showed signs of BPD. They became codependent on me, and whenever I made a friend, they would would lose their mind and say that I was abandoning them. They were also obsessed with being popular and the idea of being loved by everyone. They started to push me away when they realized I had no interest in being popular. I haven't seen or talked to them for well over a decade, and I hope I never see them again.
@@rationalcynic8416 wow that sounds tough, traits like this can present in very young children although you cannot be diagnosed with a personality disorder until 18, I think before that it would be some other child conduct disorder. It very draining if you're the person they become dependent on.
My ex-husband has Borderline personality traits but was diagnosed with another more serious personality disorder. From my experience with him it's actually heartbreaking watching someone destroy themselves and sabotage every relationship (including work, family and relationship with children) just due to fear of being abandoned.
Yeah, and BPD usually ends up dating someone with NPD. She did more and more while he just got bored of her. If she has a big butt he’d have liked Instagram models that were super skinny. It’s about making his partner insecure, you can’t appease a narcissist for a sustainable length of time.
@@danparish1344 I mean yeah it is possible but from what she said it sounds like she had just met him, saw he had liked these photos and her inner thoughts started the whole obsession with looking like that IG model. She hasn't revealed enough about the ex- partner to make that judgement. But possible of course
@@danparish1344He didn’t “just get bored of her”. There was a reason he didn’t want to be with her anymore.
Havent read the rest of rhe xomments so not sure if other girls have said similar but i can resonate with this. The only reason i didn't have surgery is i didnt have the money and im scared of something going wrong. My fears started from being cheated on multiple times and wanting to be the "ideal" woman so my partner doesnt look elsewhere but now im in my 30s im so glad i didnt do it. Your body is yours and it is not to be played with .
Sorta different but similar...Had a dude in the past tell me he liked "curly" /mixed hair and not my hair (4b/c kinky) made me feel like crap over it, compared my hair to his exes' hair blah blah ...went on to settle down with a girl with the same hair type as me...forget these dudes lol..love yourself ❤️
Respect for how self aware she is about her situation
She literally ended her statement with blaming her ex for how she got in her predicament I don't really think that would be considered self-awareness
@@altaccount3760 she was pretty self aware admitting she is mental for it and anyone else that does that is too. Also telling ppl not to do it for someone else. You need to look up the definition of self aware kid. You can be self aware and still place blame in others
@@GigaChadDuPlessis yea see my problem is she's ignorantly blaming someone else how can you be ignorant and self aware maybe you should look up what ignorant means
@@GigaChadDuPlessis lol gotta love stupid people who act like smart asses yea sure and hot water can be cold
@@GigaChadDuPlessis while you're looking up definitions maybe consider learning what an oxymoron is
I’m gonna give her props for making this video and putting it out there. It takes a lot to not only admit that you made a horrible decision and are regretting it, but also to use yourself as an example for others on what not to do. Pretty rare these days, hopefully she gets herself into therapy and gets the help she needs and isn’t getting too much hate online.
I agree
Seems like this video is more of a thirst trap than anything
No she's a dumb adult even in the video she keeps bragging about her fake ass and tits. Trying to show because she know someone is gonna like it. Don't put your issues on camera people. Real is the deal not fake. It's a short cut no real work but her internals are probably crying. She caused it on herself. Her man didn't tell her to do that
All that dick she's swimming in, she doesn't regret a damn thing.
@@TheTeehee11111that’s all that it is , a simple look at her instagram shows you as much. Self esteem is a crutch , if he’s making you feel worthless then break up with him why change who you are now men will o let see her as something to hit because of her body
I mean, I won't hold it against my boyfriend if he likes a random girl's pic while scrolling down IG for example. I think it becomes a sort of issue when he starts interacting with them, or when he ONLY follows pretty girls' profiles, and stuff like that. I mean, even I can appreciate a beautiful woman when I see one. But I think it's also important to show your significant other that they matter and you are with them because you love them. The feeling of 'not being good enough' is very valid to have when you feel like your partner's mind always wanders elsewhere if that makes sense. It shows insecurity of course, and one should work on their self-esteem but I think there is a middle ground to have.
That’s why social media is poison
I feel her pain and for the record, she looks amazing! It hurt so bad to discover pictures of fake af IG 20 year olds saved in my husband's phone. He's 41 and I'm 37. I've considered every surgery out there and had a couple. Emotional cheating is cheating and it's so hard regain our self-esteem again
Your self esteem must not depend on a mans opinion
Wow that’s insane. I never kept photos of other guys on my phone. So disrespectful.
A married man has no rights to keep such pictures in their phones. They have no rights to look at other women unless it's necessary, can't look specially when they are knaked.
Men are supposed to lower their gaze down and same applies to women.
Damn
@@abdullahalmahmoud4791 they have every right, they just shouldn't do it. your rights don't get stripped away just because your in a relationship/married. this aint the medival times dude.
Fair play for her admitting she was wrong in doing this and telling others not to make the same mistakes. Other women would do the whole "Oh you a hater! I look great and don't regret a thing!" stupidity.
In the defense of that, she certainly looks great, but clearly she regrets several things. And she clearly did it for the wrong reasons, feeding into the regret. But she looks nice!
@@ocha-time She's doing it for marketing. She is using the hell out of her body and making bank. The video serves two purposes simultaneously: 1.- Getting the video to go viral through empathy/curiosity to increase her brand awareness and sales. 2.- Dissuade competition from other women who are anxious about it and could be potential competitors.
@@ocha-time I'm not saying whether she looks good or not. When I say she was wrong, I meant she done it for the wrong reasons. Most other women would just plow on, screaming that people are just jealous. At least this woman can see what she did and admit she was wrong.
True. I think she spoke honestly about how many women who do these kind of plastic surgeries actually feel later on. And like Aba and Preach said, ps usually doesn't look good after a couple of years. Maybe unless you have enough 💸 to undergo these surgeries repeatedly.
As someone who prefers natural looks and beauty, i'm glad i never became a slave to beauty standards, tho i felt tempted a lot of times.
facts!!
I ain’t changin my body for NO ONE. Tripping 😂
100% related to this, be nice if men appreciate the woman they are with instead of looking at other women in their presence. It hurts.
I had an ex like this. Beautiful girl with red hair. One time I said I liked brunettes and she went and dyed her hair brown. It didn't fit her face or anything. She was so pretty and I liked her just the way she was but she heard I liked brown hair and tried to change herself to fit that. Made me more conscious of what I say around women I'm dating
Why would you say you like brunettes in front of your girlfriend? That's really messed up.
@@elyosavi she asked me what hair color I liked best on women. I was young and naive so I answered truthfully
I also dated a woman that changed some things on herself. I told her she’s fine the way she is, but she still got the lip fillers and wanted to get a BBL. I feel that social media has gave a lot of women a distorted idea on what beauty is, especially IG.
@@cloutbakula9710 yea I've learned that women don't always want the truth, as a logical guy I thought honesty was the best policy but women don't wanna hear the actual truth if it will hurt them.
My bf did the same thing when we began going out. I’m dark hair, dark eyes Latina and he said that he likes Scandinavian girls with blonde hair and blue eyes and thinks they are hot. It made me feel awful and I still get insecure about it even though I know it’s stupid. I know he finds me attractive and loves me for who I am, but I think women just want to feel like a first choice and the man they’re in love with’s preference.
Watch how there’s folks that will say “do it for yourself and not for anyone else.” Then go around and do things like that woman did and claim they do it for themselves when in reality they did it for approval from others/someone else. Clout, attention, and validation is a heck of a thing for folks in this time.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. I know it was for me.
Social media is a narcissist's cocaine. I'm so glad I didn't have a phone growing up I dodged a massive bullet with this fucked generation.
People can get surgery done for themselves though. I honestly don't get this judgmental notion that everyone (particularly women) who gets work done is insecure and seeking validation from others.
@Saru2191 That's not what they said. They said watch how there are people that SAY do it for yourself but they actually DONT, and do it for a guy. Similar to how the woman in this video did it for a guy, except she didn't lie about it.
People CAN do it for themselves. The problem are the people who DONT and push a false narrative that they DO. Those are the people his comment is singling out, not all of them.
well, they didn't say to do it. They just said not to do it because you think other people would like it. I feel like in society we are expected to be secure, so a lot of people will choose option c and go so far to push their insecurity onto other people. Also, security very much comes from the outside, and from childhood when you develop attachment styles and your culture's influence, so you can't exactly expect people to just find security within themselves, as much as just understand it and push it onto the rest of society to deal with, or just fix it.
Sad, I'm Hispanic tan skin. My husband used to be in to white skin girls. He loved watching them. Until one day I got upset and just told him to go date one that if I'm not good enough for him I'm sure good enough for someone else. I'm confident enough to know that there's always someone out there that's going to love you just the way you are. If I want to look good it's because I like feeling confident for me. We been married now 28 years and when he remembers his stupid self young years 😂 he apologizes. Just know your value as a human being and what ever you do to better yourself do it for you not to please anyone else. If you're happy and confident that'll be your best attraction 😉
I'm glad you spoke up and I'm glad he loved you enough to be respectful and apologize. I wish more women would speak up and correct their husband's bad behavior instead of internalizing it and making themselves miserable.
This is why men >>> teen boys, young adult guys
I’m a 16 years old girl and it’s so good to hear something positive like that 🥹
Whats this to do with values, he will still like them and now he knows not to tell you. Just cause you are with someone doesn't mean men suddenly stops liking beautiful girls. We don't. Its not at all deep and its just an impulse, it has nothing to do with who we love and care about.
This basically in every culture men lie to wifes cause they have to, cause if they don't they take things personally and make a issue over literally nothing.
Men are also the same girl, we just don't tell anymore. This is nature and it means nothing on who we actually like or care about, sad most women don't get it and think men think and overthink like women, we don't. @@megxoxo1244
Deleted my ig and have never felt better
I, as a 40yo woman, can honestly say that I don’t remember ever feeling like I had to meet some sort of beauty standard for someone to find me attractive. I’m not the best looking person in the world but I’m ok with that, I’m confident in my personality. Unfortunately i think younger generations have grown up on social media and its sad that they think this is how life should be perceived.
I’m the same age and feel the same way. I’m trying to just be the best me I can be, and what’s inside is the more important aspect
That's really wonderful for you I wish many young girls and women could feel how u feel. However young people are I will admit me included are bombarded with beauty standards that are so crazy and suckes into lookinga certain way. From models, guys, and themselves. Many young people face this daily you don't have this because you are older and probably haven't experienced this much at a young age
@@arissalevett577 I feel so bad about it for young people. You all look beautiful to me! There was a trend of very skinny models in the 90s that could make our generation feel inadequate, but they were only on TV and in magazines. Most people we saw in a day looked “normal,” which included a wide range of races, sizes, and fashions. Just people with cellulite or acne or a bit of a tilt to their shoulders. Or even without visible flaws, but not airbrushed to perfection.
In my 20 years as being an adult, I have ALWAYS considered people who get plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons as extremely weak people, and I've never had the urge to date them. Imagine being so fragile that you would go under the knife in order to meet some arbitrary standard that you think society wants of you, when in reality, most guys don't even care. It's sickening.
I'm 38 and they didn't have social media to trick people's minds. I saw pretty women in music videos, which were in fewer frequency than social media. Also, it was more wholesome time, as my wife would say.
I'm a woman, and HELL NO, I wouldnt do this! I was on Instagram for a year a few years back and that shit messed with my head. Its so easy to fall into a trap of comparing yourself to others, it's toxic. Knowing it was making me insecure, I deleted it. If I was queen of the world, I would ban most, not all, social media.
Too much fakeness on Instagram, faking lives, looks and even relationships
The psychological price we pay for the so-called benefits of social media is HUGE..... And we still only know a fraction of the damage it's doing, because it's still in it's relative infancy.
I did the same best thing I ever did in my life I literally built and repaired my self esteem from the ground up and getting off social media was a crucial part of that process.
I do not use social media because I want to live in reality, feet on the ground. And I agree with you, hell to the mtfckng NO! 👎🏽
@PBEs I deleted my Instagram and started just looking at myself instead of a billion other people online and spent more time alone and worked on my health in all aspects
You wont understand this type of behavior if you have never been abused, manipulated, abandoned, CHEATED ON, have body dysmorphia, self esteem issues, mental issues, just pure trauma.. you also may have a hard time with this concept if you arent aiming for a feminine look. The beauty standard is toxic nowadays. Yall get addicted to the women on your socials but you wont respect or love the LOYAL GENUINE PARTNER YOU HAVE AT HOME.. This is the human error and its so heartbreaking. I was born into the wrong time.. if you dont get where this girl is coming from then consider yourself BLESSED frfr 💯
I understand her ire, but it’s not like he asked her to change. She learned a valuable lesson, sadly at a high price; I commend her for her honesty and for trying to help others avoid the same mistake. That being said, it’s insecurity and suspicion that ruin a relationship. Blessings to all. ❤
I used to model when I was younger and so many people would tell me I had to do this, and changed that, etc. Yet, despite of having insecurities just like any human, I still never thought about changing who I was physically. I’ve always loved the way I looked, even if it wasn’t considered “mainstream” beauty. And I’m glad I never had any artificial modifications done to my body, specially to please some dude.
I would have regretted it immensely!
Great and healthy mindset. I’ve always had this conscious or subconscious judgement that when I see girls who have the ‘Kylie Jenner’ look with lip injections, asses that aren’t proportional to their legs and body, etc. My brain instantly thinks ‘shallow with a handful of insecurities’.
It’s a generalization but knowing just the basic amount of money and maintenance it takes to upkeep that artificial ‘Barbie’ look just snowballs into worse and worse self-esteem issues which turns into failed relationships and unhappiness.
I know there’s guys who love that stuff who like to be in the limelight but it’s not even in the 10%. We just happen to see the minority because of TMZ, social media and TV.
People with no formed character or opinions will always sway towards wherever the strong winds are blowing, always to be pushed around by the interests of others.
Good, men and women should only enhance their looks by taking care of themselves with a proper grooming, a good diet and exercise. Getting surgery doesn't change any underlying insecurities and no matter how many surgeries you have it won't ever kill it. I'm 5 foot 6 and it has never gotten in the way of getting a date or relationships. There's a lot more to people than just the physical and it's more important to know the person you're dating than having a relationship with them just because they look good. Looks degrade with age but being with a person that accepts you for who you are makes for a long lasting relationship.
It's unfortunate it took her so long to come to the realization that she did, but I'm glad she's there and can work on her mental health.
If your guy tells you he doesn't like what he sees, leave him. You'll feel much better.
You guys are like the big brothers that some of society doesn't have. It's good to see. You also admit when you're wrong and leave in when you don't know a word? *angelic music insert here* Thanks for being real. I really respect you 2 and love listening to you challenge our perspectives while showing people what a healthy discussion can look like.
Maybe because I don't use Tik Tok or Instagram, or maybe because my man doesn't overtly look at other women in front of me in life or online, but I feel NO pressure to look like anyone else. What I DO feel pressure to do is look like my BEST SELF. I take care of my skin, work out regularly, I weigh the same as I did in high school and after I had a baby, I put in consistent effort to return to my normal weight.
I respect myself enough to do that and it's also one big way that I show love and respect for my husband. Caring for yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself and for those who love you.
This! I used to have major insecurities with exes who would actively oogle on women online. Felt like I wasn’t enough. And now I’m with someone who is so focused on his real life and not succumbed to the world of social media. He doesnt bat a lash or scroll through these hourglass women on social media because he doesn’t see it as an essential part of his day nor does his interests lie on following women who portray themselves a certain way, so it’s not even in his feed at all.
It absolutely helped build my confidence and now I’m insecure no more. I felt enough for a change and love myself now. We’ve been together for many years now :) and even if he were to acknowledge someone looks good, it’s just different now. I feel more sure of myself. Back then I would have probably taken it personally and cried lol.
I also use instagram but never see these IG “baddies” guys see on their feed. Simply because I don’t like or follow the content of that kind. What appears in people’s feeds are really telling about what they spend their time liking when they’re on the app. The algorithm is intended to spit out the same type of stuff.
@@squid5097 The same thing happened to me.
1) If anyone suggests or tells you to get cosmetic surgery. Say goodbye whether they are your girlfriend, your boyfriend, or your friend.
2) Getting a cosmetic surgery to make someone else happy doesn’t make them obligated to stay with you.
3) People take cosmetic surgery way too lightly.
They need to pin this
This. Just this is the only comment that should be on here.
I say it for getting tattoos and I’ll say it for body modification. Don’t get stuff that will PERMANENTLY alter your body to please anyone but yourself. The moment that person leaves you will regret it and wish you never went through with it in the first place.
Unfortunately my mother encouraged me to get surgery when I was a tween and there's no way to get a better mother. But I definitely agree.
@@_Eisley I empathize as someone else who had abusive parents. The fact your mother would force that on you is pretty sickening tbh..I’m so sorry. :(
I told my ex that he rather seems to be into woman online and that he seems not interested in real life women.
That actually hit him and he deleted all his accounts. But at the same time it said a lot about him using social media only to save random girls on his phone. U dont have any other interest?
But I did appreciate that he understood my point and let action's follow. To thirst over random ass woman is just nasty and u get it constantly thrown in your face as a woman.
I understand her. And I don't realize why guys get into relationships with people that are not their type to the point they need to look at other women. I have small boobs but almost all guys I was with were very into big breasts. I don't mind them looking at pretty women but it's like they were missing something, they constantly had this need to seek and look girls with huge tits. One of them even made fun of me in front of his friends. It is very demeaning and hurtful. It destroyed my confidence. And one of them even tried to turn it back on me, like ALL the guys prefer big tits, I should be aware of my 'lacking' and be happy he even wants to be with me?? Luckily I ended that crap. It took me years to rebuild my confidence. I should also mention, he was not my type at all, short, with underdeveloped jaw... and I never looked at other guys out of respect for him.... Currently I'm with a guy who is totally an ass guy (my strong side), of course if he sees an attractive girl he'll look (by respectfully, not like staring and drooling), I have never seen him looking at Instagram or actively looking at porn constantly, I can literally sense how much more he's into me and my body and it's soooo different. He's also my type and I have zero need looking at other guys or watching porn. IMHO, this is the way normal relationship should be. 🤷
“Wait, wait, wait, your saying my girl doesn’t want me to become a vampire?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
When you are a young woman, you tend to view yourself as a collection of parts and you obsess over and try to perfect each of those parts. It wasn’t until my 30’s that I started to see myself as a whole person and amazingly, a person that I really like (both inside and out).
Fantasies aren't reality but I think if we're being honest, if someone's fantasy was in front of them they'd probably jump on it. For instance, if that girl he was liking pictures of came up to him.. it's really a toss up at that point what he might do with that.
Personally I think everyone's different and if you're with someone who is doing things that you feel disrespected by and they don't care, leave them to find a better match for yourself and a for them to find a better match for themselves.
I agree with you
Personally no, I could care less. Bc my girl is my fantasy. If your confident in who your with, they are your fantasy. Yeah I can think an insta thot is hot, but that doesn't mean she is fantasy. She is just some ass on the Internet. I can appreciate it and I can look, but at the end of the day. The only ass I want is probably already in front of me, my baby girl.
My boyfriend had a folder full of underage asian girls, and irl he would excitedly tell me when he seen a asain girl that was "like 4ft and 30kg😍😍". I am getting fox eye surgery to look more asain and trying to weigh as close to 39kg as possible but I'm 160 cm 😭✌🏻even though I break up with him lmao
@@deathmaxineplease dont do this. Just because your ex liked them (which is already ffed up) doesn’t mean the next one will. You can’t change your height and please don’t diet because of this. I am still recovering from my ED 1.5 years later and I regret wanting to be this skinny! Also it can be hard to “go back”. Please love yourself more . I am sure there are many others out there who will love you just the way you are ❤
Thank you for covering this topic! It’s refreshing to see two public male figures discuss this seriously and to let women know it’s not ok to go through all these surgeries for someone else! Again, thank you!
Personally I don’t think men or women should be scrolling and liking sexual looking images online while I’m a relationship
This is a sicknesssssssssssss.
It was interesting to see her distress when saying how it was irreversible and she could not take it back. She looks gorgeous, but there was distress in the way she was saying it, as if she wish she could go back. As a woman, that was very eye opening, because she seems to have the exact body type that is sought after, yet she is still unhappy with it.
Personally I have never been tempted to get a BBL, but I can get down on myself for not having an hour glass figure, especially around my butt. But hearing her talk about it made me feel better about just being happy with what I have, even if it isn't currently in style.
Yeah and it had never occurred to me that if you gained weight you would continue to gain in that one area. Which i should have thought of, since I know that when you have liposuction, a negative consequence is that if you start gaining weight after, you'll start gaining more weight in the places that weren't liposuctioned, making you look odd as the gained fat isn't balanced out as it once was. (My mom has experienced this. She only had her abdomen liposuctioned, but years later when she gained weight it started going to her flanks and back like it never did before.) But this happens because the fat has to go somewhere, and you've removed so many of the fat cells in the normal areas where fat goes. So it makes sense that when they take the fat from your abdomen, flanks, inner thighs etc, and put it in your butt, it would also continue to get larger when you gain weight. All those other places were lipo'ed and don't have enough fat cells to store some there, and make the weight gained more proportioned. I'd bet most surgeons don't warn patients about this. Not to mention that BBLs have a decent mortality rate due to potential embolisms. It's really scary and I don't think worth the risk of dying.
The issue is she only sought this body because she thought he valued it OVER her. He was WITH her so enjoying a view doesn't take priority over what he has. She needed to know that before she did all that stuff. Communication instead of insecurity and assumption is key
I love all women, thick or thin! You don't need to change your body for anybody we are all just gods creatures ❤
I think this is called body dysmorphia. She needs professional help.
This broke my heart. I appreciate her talking about it because I'm sure it's a relatable topic, for people that have gotten it done or even consider it. It shows them that other side and that it doesn't just fix your problems, it's a core issue that you have to battle through.
She wasn't sincere you're a bird
Yeah I'm sure she's actually in tears every month as she cashes in from her Onlyfans. Really inspirational of her to blame some guy while she profits off her body.
As an ex stripper I can tell you that guys will pick the most fake perfect looking girl butnwould never date a girl that looks like that. But then there are some men that would go for the natural looking girls. Either way the natural girls were always good. Changing your whole body is usually because of what a women thinks a man wants. Not what a man actually wants. But blames the man when they end up enviable alone
To all younger people reading this:
Please read my story about accepting myself.
I had a lot of issues about my looks and I thought to myself lets start with something small. So i wanted to get eyelid surgery because I have droopy eyelids.
The surgeon looked at me and said omg how old are u. To this time I was 21 and he said u are waaay too young for this surgery. He continued to tell me about his self love story and that he became more comfortable with himself with aging. He also told me that he could do it but he would destroy my face in his opinion and that he sees a mental issue for me.
I went out crying but it was the best thing that happened to me. That someone pointed it out like that and was really blunt about it. It helped me so much! From then on I started to accept myself and quit the idea of changing something.
I would not directly say no to surgery but especially when u are young. Please wait. I know I would have regretted it a lot and it would have changed nothing about me being insecure.
Hope this could help someone
So sad. I'm 30 and I was always raised to have confidence and a realistic look at myself. Even then, it took me 30 years to get as comfortable with myself as I am. It hurts me to see my fellow women suffering with their self image. People, no matter what gender you are, you cannot force people to like you with your exterior look. Long term love and friendship, long term companions and relationships hinges on what you have to offer from the inside of your being far more than what you have to offer visually. I met my boyfriend when we were 20 in college, over the years we have both gained weight and our outside appearances have changed . The love we have for eachother is stronger than any love I've ever experienced. This man loves all my stretch marks, my soft stomach, my jiggly arms. Him liking a pic or watching a porn doesn't threaten that for me. Not everyone can be realistic about that, I watch porn and like pictures too, but I love my boyfriend and none of what I watch or look at will make me think less of my dude. We're human beings, we can be in relationships and love our partners and look at some tiddies or dicks harmlessly on a screen.
Like Katt Williams once said "Self Esteem... it's the esteem of yourself!" Kudos to her for being accountable for what she did and letting people know the truth about all that surgery stuff and doing it for the wrong reasons which seems to be what a lot of them have done.
That was the first thing I thought of when I watched this. “THAT’S why they call it SELF ESTEEM!! It’s esteem of yo MUTHAFUCKIN’ SELF, Bitch!! How the hell can I fuck up how you feel about YOOOUUUU, simple bitch?!”
@@TheBerkeleyBeauty yeah facts I couldn't remember fully of how he said it glad someone knew what I was talking about though 😂😂
Im so glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this lool
@@Treeforest347 hell yeah, that whole situation crazy, it's like I didn't feel bad for her but idk if it was me starting to feel bad at the end of if it just was me respecting the fact that she held herself accountable for what she did
@@JAYFLOPROBEATS I know what you mean.
I think someone being accountable is more likely to inspire both empathy and respect. Especially when it's about exposing a vulnerability and owning it. And yea it's just crazy man, I have my own issues yet I thank my parents for teaching me how to grow and keep my own self esteem and the values to hold it high. The more I grow the more I see how precious and rare it is.
Not everyone had that luck so all the more respect for people who find the path by themselves.
I feel like my Self Esteem is my responsibility. I've been teased for being skinny and I've received unwanted attention for being thick and curvy. Through it all, I liked me and that's all that mattered, that's all that will ever matter to me..... How I feel about myself.
She quite literally destroyed her body and dignity to appeal to a man who didnt even like her body to begin with. I dont see how she didnt see the failure peeping through.
I love how yall will be real and admit when a take is wrong as you get more information, sadly it's a rare quality these days.
I agree with Aba. When I see a super symmetrical and "ascetically pleasing" face or body irl, it looks weird to me and turns me off cause there's no uniqueness. I know that might sound silly and/or cliché, but there really is beauty in our flaws/imperfections as people.
What you mean clown make up, fake lashes, fake nails, fake hair, and fake skin isn't attractive to you?
When Aba said, "so your saying my gf doesn't actually want me to turn into a vampire," I smiled BIG.
Yes! That is a perfect way to wrap up this argument. Yes, people have fantasies of things that are way out of their reach, or down right impossible, but that doesn't mean we should cut our skin open so we can look like that near impossible standard.
Wake up people!
I just love when people see that situation and go to immediately blaming the other person for their insecurities
This is a problem with our over use of fictional media, ranging from RUclips to movies to books or whatever you’re willing to take this as
Just that after watching and reading these stories of fantasy, now we want to live those stories we saw
Vampires don't exist. These other women not only exist, but men are often engaging with them, on platforms where the potential for her to engage back is there. It may be very unlikely, but it's there. It's very different to knowing for instance that your man is looking at playboy or page three girls or someone on TV. That's fantasy. It stops feeling like fantasy the minute you have the potential to open lines of communication with your fantasy.
Not only that, but I don't want to be made to feel like the limp McDonald's burger he could afford to eat when really he's craving steak. I'd like to feel that he's choosing me, not that I just happen to have been what was available to him. I don't care if it's reality, maybe it is, but even if I can accept that, I still don't want to be reminded of it ten times per day. If you had a big nose that you hated, would you want someone to be sure to remind you about it throughout the day, so that you're never able to forget about it for long enough to stop feeling conscious and aware of it?
I still don't agree with what this woman did, it was downright stupid, but at the same time, men who do this are doing their relationships no good at all and just refuse to accept that their actions have any effect.
@@loud6037 Yea this is why communication is of upmost importance for a relationship to be healthy and flourish. Easier said than done, I know it myself being a stubborn and prideful guy.
But it is on both parties to develop the ability to have honest and open conversation about their feelings. If the other person isn’t willing to be receptive of you speaking your genuine and honest mind, then you need to have the awareness and confidence to walk away sooner than later. Thoughtfulness needs to be reciprocated.
In this girl’s case, she made very significant decisions financially and physically without seeming to spend the effort in having honest conversations with her ex, but rather let her insecurities take over her.
This is absolutely not normal. If she did talk to him and he wanted her to get all these operations done or else… then she should’ve walked way before.
Can’t feel too sorry for anyone who is so glued to the social media fantasyland that they needed to take such drastic measures to find attain a happy and healthy relationship. It’s like an oxymoron.
@@chinqlinq89 I can't disagree with any of that. I've been there myself, and it took me a while to get up the courage to approach a discussion about it, because I was worried about being made out to be petty and insecure rather than trying to address something that was beginning to affect how I felt about the relationship I am in, but I did it, we talked about it, I told him it would mean a lot to me if he would be willing to be more discreet, that his considering my feelings would make me feel more valued and respected, he agreed and we dropped it and moved on, hopefully to a much better relationship. I don't think he fully gets it, but at least he's prepared to try and that's good enough for me. I can't imagine suffering in silence for long enough that I went to such extremes as this. Respectful communication could save a lot of people a lot of heartache. And for people to bear in mind that while it might be hurtful, it's also not entirely the man's fault. This has been so normalised by now, that I think it just doesn't always occur that it might be damaging, and they're not necessarily being malicious. Others may turn it on you and justify continuing on with it regardless of your feelings, but I am lucky, I chose well. One day it will be my turn to do something he doesn't like, I try to remember that and communicate about problems in a way that I would also appreciate from him when that day arrives. Had she approached it in a healthier manner, she might not be in this situation now...and for a man she isn't even with.
I been working out gaining muscle on my upper glute where I didnt have anything before low key feels like it looks like BBL but natural. If half these girls who get surgeries just worked out they could have the natural physique that the BBL is made to mimick
She looks beautiful and pretty much perfect by today’s beauty standards. It’s sad to see that even meeting the beauty standards, people still don’t feel like enough.
I appreciate the move now to share when people have had work done. I think Edvasion, another RUclipsr, covers plastic surgery and beauty standards really well
Too bad women of the last 10-15 years think "fake" is beauty. Man I miss the 90s.. some of the best looking women were around back then, and mainly because the majority of women weren't wearing clown make up, fake lashes, fake nails, fake hair color, injected lips/butt, and other misc crap people do often now. Worst you'd find were boob jobs, but if that is the worst, but only offense, it isn't anywhere near as bad as it is today.
In short, men overwhelmingly prefer real.
I did a video on this. Women keep making the mistake of thinking that changing themselves into what society wants will suddenly change their life for the better.
Don't be with someone that doesn't appreciate your natural looks won't ever appreciate you. And you have to appreciate yourself in order for people to appreciate you
I think the whole controversy with liking pictures on social media is fascinating because it’s like it’s right in that gray area between actually reaching out and Sexting and just effectively looking at porn. So it’s like you can understand why some people would be kind of against it why some people would be totally against it, and why others would have no problem with it. Sometimes the little things in relationships that make each other uncomfortable aren’t big red flags but they can be communicated about. If you like to go through and like pictures of girls on Instagram, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that but if your girl comes to you and politely communicates and expresses that it does make her uncomfortable then you have a choice to make what’s more important liking the pictures or your girlfriends feelings. Now if she treats it like you’re cheating or takes it too seriously… Of course there’s plenty of vice versa in this, but a lot of the points still remain the same.
Nah bro theres no grey area, thats stupid, people nowadays are posting overtly sexual stuff... Its beyond like bikini pictures from 06 , if your man is liking pictures off some girls ass everyday thats a problem, vice versa if your girls liking shirtless dude bro pics everyday because it's advertising and responding to said advertising at that point, people displaying themselves in a way you would only see in intimate settings and publicly consistently saying yeah, I like that and you is disrespectful to say the least , its like flirting with strangers while in a relationship that doesnt mean you cant be friendly or chat, but theres a line that if you actively cross becomes imstigation, I guess its a bit different with celebritys and people youd never meet of its like a specific crush as aposed to their body type your into , cuz yeah again your just saying I prefer this persons gratification to respecting your other .
Agreed. For me it is the type of women my partner would like or follow. I enjoy female and male beauty, but not something that is trashy and raunchy and would only date a partner who has similar standards.
@@WeAreInYourWall that’s precisely my point though because even if you do wanna say it isn’t innocent and it’s overly sexual as long as they’re not directly interacting, it’s no different than watching porn. Hell, people like and comment on porn videos, so there’s even interaction there. So you would have to justify at that point why liking the pictures would be wrong but your partner watching porn would be OK. Unless you’re entirely against them watching porn or unless you don’t care about any of it either way as long as they don’t cheat. That’s exactly why it’s in a gray area everybody’s different some people care some people don’t. Now, if the partner is uncomfortable with the boyfriend or girlfriend going through and liking the pictures, then they can voice it but that’s called proper communication, jumping to oh my God he/she like these pictures so they must want them is high school type thinking.
Being attracted to other people and having sexual feelings and thoughts about them is normal and unavoidable; liking and subscribing to real people, even when among millions of others, is an action and a choice, and it's sending a certain kind of signal.
@@huugosorsselsson4122 see but that’s still just your point of view. Some people have a I don’t care where you get your motor running as long as you park in the right garage type of mindset. Some people might consider liking pictures on Instagram cheating because it’s overtly sexual and seems more personal than general porn, but others might compare it to porn in that even if it’s supply sexual gratification so what as long as no real interaction occurs. I can understand both perspectives, hence why I say gray area.
I appreciate the message y’all both put out here. Me personally, I love seeing the diversity of others and with the emergence of these “beautifying” surgeries, it kills that diversity. It is okay to be different. Life is really boring otherwise.
She should've left him. A man who wants to lust after other women is useless in a relationship and marriage.
While I didn’t feel exactly like this, I definitely felt a lot of pressure to conform my looks to society standards in my early 20s and I’m thankful to have not had access to these surgeries back then (I think I would have at least considered it). Now that I’m older, I’ve come to love the things I was insecure about before-my full lips and cheeks, the way my nose spreads when I smile, the shape of my body to me are now markers of my lineage. The access we now have to quickly change what we think we don’t like robs us of the chance to fully consider WHY we don’t and if that insecurity is truly ours to bare
Exactly , lineage, our individualistic looks are exotic and sexy, and show where our ancestors come from. I get a lot of crap for my hook nose, but it’s a very common feature in the Balkans where I am from. There are many people throughout history who have had a hook nose and in the past nobody thought it was an abnormality; therefore, it’s clear beauty standards are relative as well as always changing. I’m glad you were able to accept your natural look.
I have actually been with men that did this. They ALWAYSSSS looked at women that looked nothing like me. It did make me feel like crap. I would purposely follow men that looked nothing like them to give them a taste of their own medicine. I also would post more selfies too showing more skin, and the men would get angry and jealous. BUT… they were adamant on looking at other half naked women… but if it was me? They would start calling me a whore and accuse me of trying to cheat. Oh and they actually would end up cheating on me… and then blame me for invading their privacy when I found out and turn the tables on me. They would also gaslight me and call me possessive.
Again.. not worth it all. Just leave the man and only go for men who have their eyes only on you. You’ll be more happy.
When I was 19 the girl across the hall from me had two little dogs she loved very much. She rehomed the dogs for her fiance to move in. He was allergic to the dogs. After a couple months he left her. I took a lesson from that. Either you're the one for him or you're not. Don't make changes.
I have a story about my experience with these type of females.
5 years ago, I worked for a real estate company, my boss discovered her husband was visiting strip clubs. She found photos of her husband with one particular adult entertainer. She chose to spend her yearly bonus on plastic/cosmetic surgery to look like the one particular adult entertainer and literally starved herself while taking weightloss injections. She was always unhappy, hangry and stressed out about her husband.
I was surprised but not shocked. This same boss called me into her office telling me I needed to step up my dress game, start wearing red lipstick and high heels in order to make more money. I was in disbelief and felt violated. I refused her request and lost my job.
My Dad, Tia and Nana didn't raise me this way. I was raised a handy. modest, religious young lady. I raised 3 children, thank God I was blessed with well behaved children. I raised a future husband and two future wives.
God is always watching so make better choices folks.
Good video guys. Nice to see men sticking up for the natural looking women. Cuz I agree, all the insta girls all end up looking the same. ❤