My goal as a parent is to raise my children in a way where they will never have to “come out” in any way, shape, or forum. That they can just bring home a partner and not have to think about if they should tel us anything about the situation at all, or that they’re comforting enough to come with us if they have questions about their identity in any way. I will not add to my childrens life in a negative way if I can help it. I think about their mental health all the time and my son is two and my other son hasn’t been born yet lol
I tell people that all the time I don't know if it's social media but that is entitlement no matter what it is to feel like somebody owes you whether it's to tell you they had plastic surgery or that they're gay people do not owe you their darkest secrets or private information I just love that you brought that up
Such a frustrating phenomenon, right? Everyone deserves the right to privacy, and I wish more people understood that. People are only "entitled" to the info about others that THEY want to share, when THEY want to share it.
People act like coming out is just one big event, but it's a long process, for me it started over a year ago and is still going on, I come out to a new person pretty much every day
I'm 41, pansexual?, and assigned male, though I haven't worn men's clothing regularly in a few years. I am disabled (chronic), work part time, and live with a family member. Every single adult member of my family lives on a steady diet of Fox "news" and similar publications. Though I don't hide anything, I have never "come out". For a long time, I felt that I didn't need to. After getting sober a few years ago, that has gradually changed. I am housesitting for a relative, and have my own home for the next few months. I have begun to feel the need to address it, mainly because I am exhausted, and have been single for 12 years now. I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety over the situation, and I know it is time to do something about it. I think my mother will be able to get past it, though she has called me a sissy in the past. I come from a long line of Narcissists across multiple generations, so judgement is par for the course. What would be the best course of action, in your opinion? What type of questions should I expect from her?
First of all, I'm so happy for you that you are sober and looking toward your future. Not knowing your mom I'm not positive what she may ask, but you definitely need to go in knowing you will have to educate...if you want to. I'd say remember that, even if others think so, there is nothing WRONG with who you are. Many times people ask "are you sure" or "how do you know"? I usually encourage people to decide if they want to answer that question or not (if not, a simple "I know myself" is absolutely acceptable) and if they want to, have their response ready. Also, starting with what you want from them. "I'm not asking anything of you, but I love you and I want to be truly myself around you. So this is me". Best of luck! And know that this journey is yours and it only needs to follow your timeline and your needs, no one else's. 💜💜
A dear friend, whom I love like a daughter told me I was lesbian. I was 40 then. My jaw dropped to my toes, and I was like, well, that's why so much makes sense. I never came out to my mom. She was never terribly tolerant about things that were outside her narrow world view. 2 huge examples were her estrangements of both my older siblings, who had long-term relationships without marriage. Never told her I was Wiccan either. Just never shared the important things that mean so much to me. Even when she met my ex, I lied and said she was a good friend, and I'm moving to Israel because she needs help with her health issues. Yeah...got a lot of mental baggage on that. I'm 64 now, parted ways after 19 years for my health. Back in the US...
I am so sorry you've had to do so much hiding. I'm glad that you know that your process gets to be YOUR process. I hope in the comments and community on this channel can be a source of support for you as you continue to journey your path 💜💜
Great video! I especially love how said coming out is also called letting others in on your secret. Than I loved how you addressed those sub-myths that exist now! P.S. you have amazing eyebrows too!
Thanks for the viseo Kelly, just playing catch-up! You are right in that coming out is about a self-realizatiin and a desire for self-acceptance and to feel whole. I myself only realized my same-sex desires around the age of twenty-five, and they became very strong desires which i pushed to the back of my mind, and yet secretly acted on my homosexual desires whilst dating women and even during my marriage once it started to become 'comfortable', and dare i say it, 'boring' sexually and emotionally. So i spent many years denying my thoughts, feelings, and even my actions whilst leading a heterosexual existence and conforming to the heteronormative narrative. It is only on tecent years that i have begun to face up to this, and a couple of years ago after some counselling during lockdown i came out to myself, which was a big breakthrough. I still haven't come out to existing family members but have come out to a few very trusted people who i knew when i lived and worked in a different country (it somehow felt safer that they were far away from me geographically) and they were a little shocked but were great about it, which i found to be very affirming and a great relief. The aim i guess is to slowly merge those different parts of my life over time into one whole being.
Stupenda creatura chi sono io per proibire lei di amare imagino in poeta senza la parola amore no può vivere una poesia dia reta a me vai dove ti porta il cuore e ama con l'anima perché il cuore un giorno si fermera
My goal as a parent is to raise my children in a way where they will never have to “come out” in any way, shape, or forum. That they can just bring home a partner and not have to think about if they should tel us anything about the situation at all, or that they’re comforting enough to come with us if they have questions about their identity in any way. I will not add to my childrens life in a negative way if I can help it. I think about their mental health all the time and my son is two and my other son hasn’t been born yet lol
Ugh so many things to think about in parenting these days. Your children are lucky to have you for a momma!
I tell people that all the time I don't know if it's social media but that is entitlement no matter what it is to feel like somebody owes you whether it's to tell you they had plastic surgery or that they're gay people do not owe you their darkest secrets or private information I just love that you brought that up
Such a frustrating phenomenon, right? Everyone deserves the right to privacy, and I wish more people understood that. People are only "entitled" to the info about others that THEY want to share, when THEY want to share it.
People act like coming out is just one big event, but it's a long process, for me it started over a year ago and is still going on, I come out to a new person pretty much every day
This is so true! It really doesnt end, does it. That process is key!
I'm 41, pansexual?, and assigned male, though I haven't worn men's clothing regularly in a few years. I am disabled (chronic), work part time, and live with a family member. Every single adult member of my family lives on a steady diet of Fox "news" and similar publications. Though I don't hide anything, I have never "come out". For a long time, I felt that I didn't need to. After getting sober a few years ago, that has gradually changed. I am housesitting for a relative, and have my own home for the next few months. I have begun to feel the need to address it, mainly because I am exhausted, and have been single for 12 years now. I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety over the situation, and I know it is time to do something about it. I think my mother will be able to get past it, though she has called me a sissy in the past. I come from a long line of Narcissists across multiple generations, so judgement is par for the course. What would be the best course of action, in your opinion? What type of questions should I expect from her?
First of all, I'm so happy for you that you are sober and looking toward your future. Not knowing your mom I'm not positive what she may ask, but you definitely need to go in knowing you will have to educate...if you want to. I'd say remember that, even if others think so, there is nothing WRONG with who you are. Many times people ask "are you sure" or "how do you know"? I usually encourage people to decide if they want to answer that question or not (if not, a simple "I know myself" is absolutely acceptable) and if they want to, have their response ready. Also, starting with what you want from them. "I'm not asking anything of you, but I love you and I want to be truly myself around you. So this is me".
Best of luck! And know that this journey is yours and it only needs to follow your timeline and your needs, no one else's. 💜💜
There is no right or wrong way to be you :) , great message !
Thank you. It is a truth I hope everyone is able to learn ❤️
A dear friend, whom I love like a daughter told me I was lesbian. I was 40 then. My jaw dropped to my toes, and I was like, well, that's why so much makes sense. I never came out to my mom. She was never terribly tolerant about things that were outside her narrow world view. 2 huge examples were her estrangements of both my older siblings, who had long-term relationships without marriage. Never told her I was Wiccan either. Just never shared the important things that mean so much to me. Even when she met my ex, I lied and said she was a good friend, and I'm moving to Israel because she needs help with her health issues. Yeah...got a lot of mental baggage on that. I'm 64 now, parted ways after 19 years for my health. Back in the US...
I am so sorry you've had to do so much hiding. I'm glad that you know that your process gets to be YOUR process. I hope in the comments and community on this channel can be a source of support for you as you continue to journey your path 💜💜
@Kelly R. Minter Thank you so much. Just found your site a couple of days ago and find it illuminating and comforting. Blessed be.
Great video! I especially love how said coming out is also called letting others in on your secret. Than I loved how you addressed those sub-myths that exist now! P.S. you have amazing eyebrows too!
I love so many things about this comment 😁 Thank you for watching!! 💜💜
Thanks for the viseo Kelly, just playing catch-up!
You are right in that coming out is about a self-realizatiin and a desire for self-acceptance and to feel whole. I myself only realized my same-sex desires around the age of twenty-five, and they became very strong desires which i pushed to the back of my mind, and yet secretly acted on my homosexual desires whilst dating women and even during my marriage once it started to become 'comfortable', and dare i say it, 'boring' sexually and emotionally. So i spent many years denying my thoughts, feelings, and even my actions whilst leading a heterosexual existence and conforming to the heteronormative narrative.
It is only on tecent years that i have begun to face up to this, and a couple of years ago after some counselling during lockdown i came out to myself, which was a big breakthrough. I still haven't come out to existing family members but have come out to a few very trusted people who i knew when i lived and worked in a different country (it somehow felt safer that they were far away from me geographically) and they were a little shocked but were great about it, which i found to be very affirming and a great relief.
The aim i guess is to slowly merge those different parts of my life over time into one whole being.
That is a GREAT goal! I'm so glad you've been able to make .oves towards reintegration those parts of yourself. 💛💛
Stupenda creatura chi sono io per proibire lei di amare imagino in poeta senza la parola amore no può vivere una poesia dia reta a me vai dove ti porta il cuore e ama con l'anima perché il cuore un giorno si fermera
🖤🖤🖤