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Very useful points, thank you. Just noticed your nose piercing, cute.

I have the opposite problem. After I left the church, it almost felt too easy to leave everything behind. This was something that defined my entire life. I used to have random panic attacks and was very depressed, but after that I feel nothing. I haven't come out to my family as atheist or Bi, so I'm wandering If it will hit me later when that happens

I fully agree with what you said. Also I always feel that the first time with someone is a "first time" because everyone has such different tastes and physical sensitivity. So yeah you might know how to do some things...but you always have to learn your partner. So to say. This is why i find ons to be very uncomfortable and not my cup of tea.

The best part about same-gender relationships to me is the variety of options, and how everyone does it differently. Plus, there’s likely to be cultural baggage of who is supposed to do what in the relationship (including bedroom stuff).

How do you prepare for sex with a homosexual partner for the very first time? I am older age wise and I am also new to queer/gay relationships. As a whole I am more into a emotional connection with my partner I date, but I am also open to satisfying my own sexual needs too.

Great points made

I can fully relate to whatever you discussed here

Jesus never condemned same-sex unions, he never condemned sex workers. Conversely he did not condemn slavery nor sexual abuse of minors. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's-- i.e. keep up with what is needed to exist in the world: water, food, safety, shelter, etc. The big take away: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. The Golden Rule, which predates Christianity and Judaism is about 7k years old. This is nothing to do with religion but with ethical behavior.

Sorry, but I have no sympathy for the uncle. He was not only cheating but being a raging bigot and a hypocrite, he got what was coming to him.

What a great video! Would you perhaps consider doing a video on SO- OCD (Sexual Orientation OCD) especially for bisexual people. That would be awesome, as I'd love to hear your take on it🩷

Thanks for posting this. I’m almost 40, but I’ve been struggling with moral scrupulously OCD for the last couple of years, despite not being involved in anything faith based since my teens. Thankfully my therapist has been a big help, but it still pops into my life more often than I’d like

this was so good that i had to watch it twice!

Good grief

I'm not that religious and also not sure if this belongs in this video, but I'm going to ask it anyways. Is it possible to be gay/bi, but not actually attracted to anybody yet? As a whole I am a huge introvert and thus I am very anti-social person. I have never dated before, nor have I tried dating apps before, but I am open to them if they are the right fit. I just turned 40 and I have kind of started a mid-life crisis panic mode now. I think I have repressed my queer feelings for decades already, but I am tired of hiding it anymore.

Thank you for another informative video.

The other thing that can happen to people susceptible to OCD is excessive research. Once a former believer comes to the conclusion that the dogma is not true, they often begin researching the history of the church, Bible scholarship, and atheist arguments. This is normal and not a sign of OCD unless it becomes extremely repetitive and compulsive. But some folks get stuck in a loop of asking others to debunk certain claims, feeling better in the moment, then having the cycle start over again almost immediately.

I’m confused about how to define my orientation. I’ve been learning about LGBT+ identities for a few years. And it has led to reevaluating my orientation. For most of my life, I’ve thought of myself as straight. Learning about trans women and my acceptance of them led me to briefly question being straight but, I decided that didn’t matter to me. But learning about nonbinary people who don’t identify as women but were feminine presenting, I decided I must be bi. But because I was still only attracted to feminine presenting people, it didn’t feel quite right to use that label. Currently, I don’t care about gender assigned at birth and gender identity plays a diminishing role in who I feel I’m attracted to. As long as a person is not too masculine appearing, I think there is potential for attraction. So I feel like i’m in a kind of limbo between bisexual and straight. Finsexual seems to be the closest term that fits but so few people knows what that is, it’s almost useless.

And it’s worse when you are bisexual and hetero-romantic. I feel like I don’t even fit in bisexual spaces because they think I’m just “heteroflexible” or “bi-curious,” despite having repeatedly told them that I no longer identify as straight and that’s not my label anymore. On the other hand, some people assume I have deep internalized homophobia and that I’m just a misogynistic woman who sexualizes other women, suggesting I need to work on that to develop feelings for women. I’m going to be honest: I’ve tried, and I recognize that I might have internalized homophobia and extreme comphet. Maybe it’s true, but so far, I haven’t fallen in love with a woman. Trust me, I want it to happen, but I don’t know if I’m capable, and honestly, it really sucks. Not only do I have to deal with people calling me a weirdo, but I also feel like I’m an “incomplete person”-not 100% straight, not 100% lesbian, and not even 100% bisexual. I’m just always half-something, and I hate this feeling.

I am leaving my 3rd and final heterosexual marriage in my early fifties because of this exact topic. Heteronormativity, lack of acceptance, and lack of opportunity.

Thank you for sharing your opinion on this topic. I appreciate it!

My live 🩷💜💙🦄bisexual

Thank you for sharing your expertise with us!

Thanks for making this video!

I hope you talk more about Religious Trauma and how some religious leaders use people's guilt, shame, fear, faith against them to control and abus them, how indoctrination and manipulation starts. They don't even spare babies and kids.

I found When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson to be really helpful to understanding the lingering effects of having been part of a high-control group. The caveats are that researching ACEs from a religious framing is relatively new and the book is in many ways specific to Anderson's experience. That works out for me because my situation was similar enough to hers to relate; just understand this book might be less helpful to you if your experience was different. It's really helpful to have an objective point of view to warn you of pitfuls common to many people who leave controlling sects.

The unfortunate thing about getting an official diagnosis is how difficult it can be for some people to access mental healthcare.

Ok, as an Asexual person and as a Christian I have strong feelings. We're treating people the way we want to be treating and not screaming about how Christian we are through megaphones, because we see the hurt Evangelicism has caused queer people and minorities and have also been hurt by it ourselves. Like the person who made me cry in front of everyone for challenging him on Evolution (he didn't believe in it.) Why aren't we advertising it? Because we see the hurt the church as caused. So why would we aggressively do that? Example. I once asked in a forum on how to deal with behavior from my Dad. Because sometimes simply talking to someone doesn't work. I didn't bring up my faith. Someone mentioned that all Christians were brainwashed. I said I wasn't even raised really religious, not Fundmentalist anyway. I came to Christianity because I studied the arguments and it felt right. That's all it took for the bullying to start. It didn't matter that I was LGBT affirming. I was still a terrible fucking person. End of. And just because it happened online did not make it any less painful. Or you get lumped in with the religious right. Yeah like I'd totally support a party that thinks I should die-I am disabled- and wants to take queer rights away simply on the basis of my faith. But of course people won't listen. You want us to do more, then get angry at us when we aren't doing enough like advertising. We ARE doing something. The very reason we DON'T advertise is because we see the hurt Evangelicism has caused. We are just out doing what Jesus demanded-love one and other as yourself. That's all. If people want to try a affirming church they will. If not, that's fine too. If you don't think me telling someone who posts "Doe God love me because I am gay?" "Yes God loves you. No being gay is not sinful and no it's not wrong if you date someone of your own gender." If it's on Reddit I also direct them to the church finder on r/OpenChristian isn't doing enough. Then I am sorry. I don't know what else to tell you.

You touched on this but just to expand on it; ininternalized homophbia shows up in exceptionalism. This shows up in perpetuating negative stereotypes and myths about that sexual identity. Most times, these people are already out but push a narrative of "I'm not like them" the tokenized gay who perform respectability in an effort to distance themselves from the community as well as to placate comfort to their social surroundings

Thanks you. Healing is great when there is no gas lighting involved by the Jesus cult.

You're very helpful!

I'M A BI MAN AND I WISH I COULD HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE HERE WHO IS GOING THROUGH THE BI GRIEF.. ! It is real and it's not easy at all ! stay strong, my dears !

I got a shirt that says "I'm not gay my BF is"

Thank you for speaking up. Most people do not understand the experience to this level. God bless you ❤

You are doing gods work. (Pun not intended!)

debunking those statements... 1- I discovered my attraction to guys as early as 11-12... I tried to "will myself" to be attracted to women and all I tried over the years it couldn't change... 2- worldly desires- if that was the case I'd be straight as a gay teen growing in the year 2000 literally everyone in my school, area, church, work was talking negative against the gay community Christian or non Christian that should have "changed me" 3- not acting on it- I always question myself how to not "act on it" am I supposed to be (a) doomed to living a life of complete loneliness or (b) marry a woman despite not being attracted to her... most likely I'd have to hide that part of myself because I doubt any woman would willing marry a gay man and if they end up finding out devastate someone's innocent daughter for no reason?

There are a lot of LGBT people who are interested in monogamy but not necessarily marriage. For a lot of queer people, it has to do with questioning what we've been raised to believe are universal truths, then deciding the values they want to keep and which ones they wish to discard. ❤

No one loves you more than Jesus is a very manipulative phrase

Brilliant

It's really stupid that some people think sexuality is a choice. Like why would I choose to be discriminated against. Why would I choose to be called selfish. Why would I choose to be the minority in a heterosexual world. It's just frustrating that people think we want to be treated like this

But that is what religion Is, Not just Christianity but All!

I’m a Christian and I do not like how frequently people who claim to be Christians as well as so many churches condemn homosexuality as sinful. They also do the same thing with abortion. I do not consider homosexuality to be sinful at all and I believe in abortion too. One church I am a member of is unfortunately one of those churches that condemns both homosexuality and abortion and I think that their stance on both issues are bullshit. I also frequently another church that doesn’t buy into any of that bullshit. In fact, at my other church, the pastor there is a lesbian. Just because you’re a lesbian, it does not make you less of a bein. Every Wednesday afternoon and Saturday evening Rev Ed Trevors one of the pastors of Saint Margaret’s Church of Scotland in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada hosts Church Without Walls on here live and he’s also very liberal. Jesus would also a flaming liberal and if you read the bible, he in fact was. He never once condemned homosexuality, he never once condemned abortion, he did condemn hypocrisy 16 times. He would never approve of conservative values. Conservative opinions are WAY out of touch with his message. This video by the way is very well deserved criticism

I’d rather be gay than a MAGAt.

Thank you for this video. I’m bi and I’m having a hard time getting to the bottom of my feelings. Not belonging anywhere but at the same time being able to understand the queer struggle in conservative communities… It’s hard to understand yourself and your feelings

The Bible was mistranslated to say two men can’t sleep together instead of man can’t sleep with the innocent probably on purpose

Finally someone exposes this unfortunate problem of people lying to themselves this is why society doesn’t progress the Bible was mistranslated

"Boys should be with girls, that's Heavenly Father's plan. So if you ever feel you'd rather be with a man, TURN IT OFF." - The Book of Mormon. (The musical, not the book.)

I knew I was queer. I just hated myself bc of it. I learned the autistic language (identity first VS person first) and I was an autistic person who suffered from same sex attraction, sometimes. Eventually I got tired of hating myself when I realized I was trans.

Same god that used mass incest to populate the planet multiple times, It really has messed up priorities to paraphrase the song "God is a Freak"

I wish i had found videos like these when i was younger and "the devil was attacking me by giving me gay thoughts" ;)

I’ve found I don’t need to be a fixed part of a single community. I also find I don’t need to tell everyone and anyone I’m bi. I only tell the people it matters to the most, the person I’m dating. From observation I noticed not many heterosexuals go around broadcasting their sexuality, so I thought why should I do it? So I don’t and it works for me.