Christian Parenting: Teenagers (3 Tips)
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- Опубликовано: 21 июл 2024
- Christian Parenting: Teenagers (3 Tips)
What should you do if your teenager is totally out of control and rebellious? That was the question one AGW follower recently asked us on Twitter.
While I don't have teenagers (my kids are still younger), I do remember being a totally out of control teenager myself.
So in this video I will try to share what I remember feeling when I was in that season. I will also try to give some biblical perspective and apply some Christian truths that will help you parent your teenager.
1. Give choices with consequences rather than rules with punishment.
2. Don't force your Christianity onto your teenager.
3. Treat them like a teenager, but respect them like an adult.
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Thank you!
My 15 year old daughter bold faced refused to come home after school and said she knows she will be grounded but doesn't care cause she wants to hang out with her friends. Of course my mind has been running a million miles an hour and I have had every thought from locking her in a tower😂 to ripping her out of school, ect. Ect.
This video was very helpful. I want to show her love, mercy, and grace but without being so permissive that I am teaching her that she can go ahead and get away with anything. I will now pause, pray, and calmly allow her to deal with the consequences of her actions. Thanks again. God bless you and this ministry.
Sara Miller I’m going through the same thing right now. Depressed. Hurt. Confused.
I’m an atheist and I clicked on this video thinking I would be disagreeing with what you were about to say. You’re really amazing and your children are very lucky to have a dad who is going to raise them to eventually choose their own paths. You have a lot of excellent advice. Bravo!!
We'll pray for u still.
Praise the lord! The bible is the word of God is a light in our daily path. Please Tracy take time for reading the bible !! Take care
Wait, you spite clicked on this video? Lol
Thank you so much I was so upset with my teenager before this video
God put on my heart to research a video that maybe could help honestly I was thinking I don’t want to deal with this but I’m going to listen
you are super amazing God has blessed you with beautiful gift thank you so much for helping me with this I was able to talk to her in a loving way
Amen! I'm so blessed to hear that this video was helpful to you :)
Well, while I completely agree with treat teens as adults with love and respect, having God as the perfect example. The rules and tolerance when dealing with a teen can be very different from one child to another, throwing this technic out of the window. My personal experience with my 19yr old daughter everything we tried was ruined by her friends influence and advice. Eventually we noticed she stopped going to church, and we not force it. Then started going out more frequent, and again with love we allowed it most of the time. Then, she did not came back home to sleep, now I have to draw a thicker line saying. Okay, because we love you and concern about your welfare and safety, you can go out with your friends, but 2am you need to come back home.
She simply said, "you guys are too strict and controlling, I am not a kid anymore". I do not want to be explaining to you guys my whereabouts, and I will rent a room for me to live.
Sure enough she did, and told the rest of the family that we are controlling and too strict parents. We told her we love her, and living the house was her rights to decide, but nevertheless we still love her regardless. Now she avoids contact and relationship with us saying her friends' parents never did that to them. All we do now is pray.
Bad friends are nasty hail. In matter of minutes they can destroy what you took years to raise.
What would be your advice about it?
Went through this- with the 19 year old daughter... She was fighting a lot, undoing what I did and said with my younger ones... So I asked her to move out- so she could be responsible and her own boss. I complimented her leadership skills and said it’s just hard having two queens in one kingdom. I gave her 30 days. She was livid. But once she moved out, she worked harder and became manager at her job making more money- bought a car, took great pride in her own place... then came back to me about 4 months into this, and became my best friend- so to speak. Let real life kick them in the butt. 19 is a grown young adult. Stop giving g them free housing past 18 if they don’t respect it. Period - love them - encourage- be nice... tell them you will always be here for them- write it in a note too- let them know you want to guide them as they desire... but you gotta go.
@@JennyAmigo31 it is so hard when you worry about their abilities to adult .
So many wolves out there .
This made me..
😢😭,I have a hard headed 10 year old daughter, and she hurt my feelings a lot of times..I thank God for all this comment here, at least I know I am not alone..
@@plusbonus1165 true
Am a single mother currently struggling with my sons rebellious behaviour, thank u so much ,this video has given me hope.
Me too. I needed this.
Same here..
Thank you,I needed this
Please remember- let them move out as soon as possible... encouraging them to get their own place and how amazing they will feel painting the walls their way... getting their own kitchen.. it worked wonders for my 19 year old! She came back soon after and became my best friend... she loved being in her own place!
Wonderful advice. I was even convicted on how God still loves me and has more patience with me and MY rebellion than I do with my daughter.
This message made my day today what I got most out of it is to “Love your teenager or child regardless if there rebellious or not” remember we were all once rebellious in some sort of way when we came up in our youth, and love, grace and lessons were given to us.
Amen Rob, it is freeing to know what the goal of parenting really is, which is to love our kids like God loves us!
Right and Charles Manson deserves the same.
I have a 12 year old sister who has been rebelling against everyone and even threatened to hurt my mom. I was very hurt when I found out she threatened my mom and I haven’t talked to her since, it happened almost a month ago. I helped raise this little girl and she has never acted this way. I know her dad is brainwashing her to put her against my mom and I which is working. I feel very upset and hurt that she has become this way. I’m trying to understand her but I don’t want to reach out to her because what she did was horrible. We wanted her to get a psychiatric evaluation but the therapist told us a couple days after my sister turned 12 that it is her choice if she wants to do therapy! I completely disagree with that! How could a child decide such a thing. Her dad is against her getting any help because “she doesn’t need it” but I know she does. I’m scared for the person she will become. Sorry for the long post just need advice!
This is the rebellious generation...the last days disobedient children that the bible prophesied long time ago and now is here. The blame game has always been around since the time of Adam and Eve. We blame our situation, parents, society, God for the choices we make . It is us, we who are responsible for our actions and our response and no one should blame others for the choices they make. Many times in order to cover up the real reason why we dont want to be or do something , we end up shifting the blame to rules/ punishment....etc that are in place.I have seen and know life examples where children from troubled families and less fortunate circumstances grow up to be fine men and women and children who come from good family background with everything provided, choose wrong friends/ company because they want to fit in and their pride and ego just gets in their way to living right. So, at the end of the day , it's about our heart that we must guard bec out of it springs the issues of life. Stop throwing the blame on parenting skills, rules and regulations and accept that it's really us who choose the way and our choices will ultimately cause us to reap exactly what we sow.
I totally agree with you.
Couldn't have said it better if I tried! Lol
😭😥
Wow u will make an awesome sad great advice I have a rebellious daughter she ran away please pray for my family friends..thanks for this advice
God bless you for making this video! I’m only 33 and i have a 17 year old son (i had him as a teen mom) and we are going through a rough season of rebellion with him and what you said made ALOT of sense! I’m almost in tears on how much this video helped me, thank you and God bless you brother
I've been there a young mom with a son. We made it. Now i have a teen daughter
Me too. I also have a 17 year old.
Hi Mark. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My wife and I are American missionaries in South East Asia, so the situation with our kids is a little different, but a lot the same as where you are. I'm going to try your 3 tips. Peace!
Thank you Mark, this really helped me, God bless you and your family
Thank you so much. This is helping me understand our situation and think about it righteously.
I hope you do expand on this topic later.
Thank you Mark. I needed this and it encouraged me! I will be trying these practical biblical tips👍🏼
I'm so glad it was helpful!
Insightful advice! Your tips are practical and easy to understand. And you even gave concrete, situational examples. Thank you for this video.
Imee Rabang p
Thank
Thank you for this video. It was really helpful!
This is so desperately needed in my family thank you
This video really answered me ... even though it's hard to accept this truth to love and respect them when they don't deserve but this is a real good advice!I can only have control on me!good one! really makes sense! thanks for sharing this!
Wooooooow I needed this video right now ... God Bless you!!!!!!
I appreciate so much you share this VIDEO, we only have few good advice with biblical perspective in my language.
My son is 14. Ive experience the changes that he is going thru. Im a single mom so ive mostly taught him to be independent at an early age. I feel bad sometimes and feel disturb that i wasnt consistant. Ive realized that its not all my fault. Its has to do with the brokenness that we are born jnto as well. Everyone of us in born in a sinful nature and has brokeness, pain, suffering and things that weve battle with eevn before our kids cane in the picture. Born in sin shaped in iniquity. From one broken generation to another. In some case u would compare my broken family to others and envy hiw well and scrutured things look like from my view. Then i would feel pretty low and discourage and wonder if i even qualify of being a parent at all? Thats how i was feeling today so i started searching for help and advice to see who might have some tips. There isnt much video's out there discussing this topic. This video was certainly helpful. I will use this tips. Ive notice my screaming and disrespect made me out of control too. So what does that teach him. That thats the ways to handle things with other...smh. i will certainly work in activating more in love, patience, and pray God give me more wisdom kn how to operate as him the good parent!!! Amen i feel so bless. ( he just got back in and i just prayed and didnt jumped on his case right away. I mean whi would want to come home to someone angry all the time. I know i wouldnt...lol.
Someone told me to always operate when you are calm if possible. That way you dont look back and regret something that you cant take back or even if you do take it back it leaves a womb that that child carries into adult hood. Im praying forneach parent and child on here right now.
Thank you, this video was a great help and confirmation that they are human as I and should be seen and handled through the filter of Gods eyes above all. I definitely will subscribe!
Really loved your video. Very different from what I've heard. Rules doesn't work for my daughter, try giving her choices.
I hope it helps :) Its certainly not an easy season of life for anyone, the teen or the parents.
Amazing Advice. Thank you
Hi Claudia Saurez, so glad this video was helpful
Good advice.. but I'm wondering if your advice would be the same when your own kids are teenagers.
Connie Teusink 💯
Let's hope his children wouldn't be the ones who are into drugs, gambling or crime.
I disagree. I took this advice back when my kids were small. I have 6 of them and now am a single mom. I treated them like mini adults- lots of listening and respect. Simple rules and guidelines. They often wrote me love notes and thanks... they are amazing teens. I have 3 above 20 years older now- they are amazing young adults despite the bumps.... I can tell you this method is awesome!!!
As a protective measure as a child/teen who was abused, I always hardened my heart to people who treated me badly. My teen started treating me badly and I automatically hardened my heart towards her. I realize it’s sinful but I don’t feel like I even love her anymore, let alone like her. What can a parent in this situation do?
Thank you, it touches my heart because it has not been easy and makes me confused, you make it sounds easier Just by loving and.....
Thank you for the advise. It is so very difficult when they are angry and struggling. How to keep your Godly principles intact when total disregard to our home happens frequently
So helpful am not a parent yet but as a mentor this is helpful thank you God bless
Yes, I agree with many things you said. But that what you said is often not enough. You have to spend time with your teens and not just as their parent, but rather as their friend.
My 15 yo daughter snuck out of the house last night 🤦♀️ I needed this, thanks!!!
I'm so glad this was helpful
Thanks!! You Have helped me today
Thank you so much!
This helped ALOT!!!!
Thanks you did help!!
Thank you for this advice...at what age do you think is ok to give them a choice to attend church or not?? I was not given a choice when I was under my parents roof..but I wanted to please my parents..Just looking for help as a single christian mom
Great question. I think each family will be different so I don't think there is one right answer. But in general, 16 seems about right to me. That's just based off of what I remember from being that age and the independence that our society usually grants teens with a drivers license. So that's why 16 seems right to me. But my children are young now so perhaps my view on this will change once I become a parent to teens. I hope that helps some. God bless!
@@traceycancio1795 only a narcissist would think like that
It's Biblical #1 it reminded me of how God has brought us from Law to Grace, good advice!
Amen DaughterofGod1177
Thanks alot I appreciate this advise
You are welcome!
What do you do if your child hits you other than be apsoultly heartbroken?
have you looked into if maybe he has sociopathy? I can't explain it any other way. Unless he has been abused in some kind of way that you don't know about and he thinks now everyone is an enemy that he must destroy to survive.
He's hurt... From something. Anger is a secondary emotion, usually a manifestation of hurt. Love him. Try to talk to him. Wish I had better advice. God bless
I see God has been VERY patient with me, and no punishing me.....yet.
I lost the control and yell at my son and now he has learned to do it back to me.
And I'm so disappointed on my son for no listening anymore Christian music that I tried to force Christianity on him.
Thank you for this video, I will start correcting those points, hoping God intervene soon.
I have an 18 year old that is backsliden. Comes back to the truth but backslides over and over again. He comes to me to help him after he leaves for days. Expects for me to let him live in my house after stealing and selling my tools for drugs. It's always easy to tell people how to raise a teenager when it's all different. My son tells me " I know dad but I don't want to do it ". He knows what to do but does not want to . Truth is in Romans on the struggle with in.. I know to do good but I do bad. God shows us how disobedient we are through our children to let us know how it feels. After He loves us so much and we still don't listen. I search my self constantly and realized that it's taking me a long time to fall into the place God wants me to be. if only I could stop kicking and screaming along the way. We need help
Your son needs therapy.
you are a God send thank you
finally someone who isn't promoting beating children.
Toddlers and teenagers are similar. They both test your limits and they both push your buttons and test your patience.
So true
Right now there is now way for kids to go? How do you apply this with a special needs kids?
I understand want you saying but today letting your kids walk alone is dangerous after seeing how many people being kidnapped or bitten up
Well there exists different phases like there exists the heavy rock teenager and the garage band teenager and the punk emo teenager
yes, teenage years are full of seasons :)
How are you supposed to love when you never experienced love yourself.
God loves you. Read about it in the bible. Even if you aren't perfect, he still loves you and wants you to come back.
Well in the state of Florida if your teen refuses to go to school then you as a parent are held accountable. You are required legally to make sure he/she attends. I have given choices....you can choose to go or not to go... However of you don't the truency officer can come get you, I could go to jail and/or you don't have the things you desire at home....what then? He/she still doesn't go....am I supposed to put myself at legal risk...I/we could go to jail if we don't ensure he/she attends....we can bring to school but can't sit around and babysit all day to make sure they go to classes. We have to work!!!
Maybe you should go to counseling with him, a professional might be able to help you; otherwise you could take his phone/laptop away until they start going back to school (I know it sounds like blackmailing but they will be grateful for it in the long run)
Nicole Neubauer as a teacher, I've seen your story many times. There are options; online school, homeschooling, classes online for an hour or two a day monitored by an educator.
Your right, you can't babysit them and the school can't come to your home, get them up and dressed.
Sometimes you have to put them in the system, tell the judge you can't contol their attendance and let them go through the system (truancy court, etc.). Support them through it, BUT maintain an emotional boundary so they have to be accountable for whatever happens.
I know it's hard, but plenty of kids come out on the other side, bruised, but wiser.
It may be their purpose to stumble and mess up in order to get where they need to be later on in life.
@@nosyDetective he has already lost all of his privileges. No video games,no TV, no phone...he has to have his laptop to do his school work but I blocked wifi for most non-school related sites
@@creationevolution315 thank you for your advice. I can't do homeschooling as I work and frankly they way kids are taught now is completely different than I learned. When I have helped him I end up so lost it confuses him more. We have thought about virtual school however I think that would be even harder for me to stay on top of. I did get some good advice from a lady at his school and I am exploring options
The belt!
🤔
From the word to REAL LIFE
So you admit it’s not real
wow...i see what you did there ;)
I'm a teen, any teens here?
Well kinda I'm turning 13 in April but man I feel already like a teenager
I am a 15 year old girl and I make straight As and never have drank or smoked yes I’ve been offered before but my parents won’t let me even go to Waffle House on a date with my boyfriend I’m getting tired of being so alone and he’s not a bad guy never has done anything like drink smoke or have sex and I don’t know why I can’t go out and do simple stuff like have a date at a restaurant or see my friends more since they already are starting to drift I even have a learners permit and am in drivers Ed yet can’t go anywhere I don’t think I did anything wrong but maybe parents should at least have small rules like a curfew or at least know who your hanging with
Well I think you are doing a good job still respecting them even though you don't agree with them. I know it's hard now but it sounds like they really love you and just want the best for you. I'm sure you've already talked to them about it but even sharing some of the points you mentioned in this comment sound like good things to share. Even if they don't change their mind, maybe you could still gain a better understanding of where they are coming from. This also may help: ruclips.net/video/90OUtnTAEMo/видео.html
Ichabod El clown you’re 15 with a boyfriend what are y’all plans ? To get married? Pretty young to have a boyfriend unless you plan to get married soon most likely you’ll fall into sin
Nijael Mustafa I’m 16 and legal where I’m at I also don’t believe in the concept of sin or hell although he wants to wait till marriage which I don’t expect to be with him forever of course make time while it lasts my plans are too make a successful buisness career off my skills in making things and so far I’m doing pretty well although due to corona the events I was going to sell at have been cancelled and 15 is not young to have a boyfriend my parents dated in high school (same school I go to) and are married so I see no issue with dating in teen years
Love them when there hitting u and yelling at you??? Backbiting and lying everyday??? Where's the discipline??????
Love and discipline are not different things. You express your love through discipline. If you discipline in a mean or for revenge it is punishment not discipline. Of course you must not let that behavior occur but yes, you must still love them if you want to parent the way the Bible calls Christians to parent
People keep saying love them but what is that supposed to look like in a situation as a parent is stating that they hit backbite yell to many of us never experienced love ourselves so how do you model something-that you never had?