Dealing With Dark Times | Jordan Peterson | 12 Rules for Life | Best Life Advice
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- Опубликовано: 10 ноя 2020
- "There's a big gap between tragedy and hell."
You can pre-order Dr. Peterson's latest book "Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life" here: amzn.to/3nVw7jD
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➤➤Speaker:
Jordan Peterson
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➤➤Video Sources:
"12 Rules for Life: London: How To Academy" by Jordan Peterson
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WordToTheWise
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Powerful Life Advice | Powerful Wisdom | Best Life Advice
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➤➤Transcript (Partial):
Final rule. It’s called “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.” And it's-it's a very-it's the most personal chapter in the book. It's a lot about my daughter. And my daughter was very ill when she was-well, when she was a kid, but particularly when she was a teenager she had a very terrible time of it. She had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and when she was between the ages of 14 and 16 it first destroyed her hip which had to be replaced and then it destroyed the ankle on her other leg which had to be replaced and she walked around for two years on broken legs and she was taking massive doses of opiates and could hardly stay awake and, like-and she had this advanced autoimmune disease which produced all sorts of other symptoms that were just as bad as the joint degeneration but which are harder to describe. And so it's just bloody brutal. You know, and as a test of your faith, there's almost nothing that's more direct than a serious illness inflicted upon an innocent child. Right? And so, the chapter’s a meditation on that and also on-well, what to do in a situation like that because everyone is going to have a situation like that in some sense, you know, because you'll be faced with illness in the people that you love and in crisis. And so, it's a practical guide to coping with those sorts of things. Like in one of the things you do when you're overwhelmed by crisis is you shorten your time frame. You know, it’s like, you can't think about next month. Maybe you can't even bloody well think about next week or maybe not even tomorrow, you know, because now is just so overwhelming that that's all there is. It’s like, and that's what you do. You cut your time frame back until you can cope with it. And if it's not the next week that you see how to get through then it's the next day and if it's not the next day then it's the next hour and if it's not the next hour then it's the next minute. And you know, people are very, very, very, very tough. And it turns out that if you face things that you can put up with a lot more than you think you can put up with and you can do it without becoming corrupted. And she did recover quite-quite fully. And much as a consequence of her own machinations because she figured out what was wrong with her and then took the necessary steps to fix it, which is nothing short of a bloody miracle, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, part of the cat bit is-I actually started by talking about our dog who actually died about a year ago but he’s still alive in the book. You know, I let people know ‘cause dog lovers love dogs and if you love cats then they think you don't like dogs, and then they, you know, they don't like you. So I also point out at the beginning of the chapter that, you know, if you want to pet a dog on the street, that's okay too. So you don’t have to get up in arms about it. But-but the idea is that, you know, you have to be alert when you're suffering. You have to be alert to the beauty in life, the unexpected beauty in life and that’s kind of what I was trying to get across with the idea of the cat. And there’s this cat that lives across the street from us called Ginger, and Ginger’s a Siamese cat, and cats really aren't domesticated eh, technically speaking, they’re still wild animals...
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All sunshine and no rain makes a desert
This is beautiful. I love it when I read a phrase that moves me deeply...as this did. Thank you for this.
This analogy will stick with me, thank you
I didnt expect this, but its something that will stick with me. Thank u for that analogy
Thank you!
how horrible to lose a child, but you will see him again in a better place, may God bless and comfort you
In a world full of lies. The truth is so refreshing.
God, this lecture spoke to me and my broken heart. My son died in my hands at the hospital back in 2015. Everything Dr. Peterson states in this video is so true.
the fact that you are still here is a reminder to all of us that we are stronger than we belive. im so deeply sorry no parrent should have to live through that and all kids deserve to live a full life.
I'm so sorry for your loss and also motivated by your courage to speak and see it from the side of faith. God bless you immensely
@@restartnaija8087 Thank you. Your sincere words are very encouraging to me. Dr. Peterson's lectures, life and books have been a God-send to me. Everyday, when I wake up I give God my day, albeit, sometimes very difficult and I thank God for Dr. Peterson as his materials have helped me turn my "miserable" life around certainly to be more tolerable through the tragedy and hopefully someday (as a goal of mine) to lighten up this world and help remove the darkness or at least not add to it. Thank you again.
@@oli5420 Thank you for your sincere response. You give us encouraging words and a good reminder to us all. I am facing and dealing with all my dragons via help from Dr. Peterson's lectures, books and videos now rather than creating more misery around me. Thank you, Dr. Peterson for helping me find the tools to turn my sinking ship. I am floating again, seeing more light than darkness, taking time and moving upward and onward through the fog. Again, thank you for your sincere response. That helps.
I'm sorry that you lost your son.
I am, invariably, impressed with Jordan Peterson's emotional honesty. He holds no façade when discussing feelings and openly expresses them without any hesitation. This is one of the most appealing aspects of his character.
Very rare commodity in a public figure. Very commendable, he's amazingly emotionally mature and one of the strongest characters I've ever come across. What a gift to the world he is.
His voice at the end... it made me cry.
Me too 😢
i knew there would be reactions like that and went straight looking for 'em :) found em in a matter of seconds :)
he is emotionally unstable and it's refreshing to see someone so successful not hiding it..
I am watching this on the night of the day we buried my stepdad of 40+ years. I am feeling grateful that our family did NOT do anything to make matters worse at the end. I'm also grateful because, over the course of stepdad's long illness, when it became clear to us (each at his or her own pace) that it was likely that he wouldn't survive, I remembered Dr. Peterson encouraging me to strive to "be the most reliable person at [my] father's funeral." And I held onto these words; thought about them every day. I think I pulled it off today. And it wasn't easy because, for some mysterious reason, like Dr. Peterson, I get severely choked up at the drop of a hat. Thank you, Dr. Peterson.
Thank you. I feel the same.🌝
He sounds like he’s breaking down which in itself is “bloody awful”. We need JP to recover. ❤️
He is breaking down. But with pain and love. It is good to hear him so emotional. He is healing.
@@jeffreyoneill6439 no hes not he is making vast sums of money how about some sympathy for his poor wife any sympathy for her
Who could dislike this? 10 people who don't clean their room 😉
Alexey Рilyugin 🤣🤣😂😂😂
LOL you’re gonna be alright
Hearing him struggle is painful to listen to. What a champion he is
He saved my life, literally.
mine too
Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new, talk to Him. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16
I think he has saved many lives. Mine included. I hope he knows.
He saved many lives, mine included. A father figure for a fatherless world.
If we never had dark times, there would be no good times. The dark times make us notice and enjoy the good times, something that may not happen otherwise. It builds us up. Love the lessons from this man.
I can live without dark times
its true dark times are necessary , but its who we hurt or fail that we should be held accountable for
I don’t believe in memes.
Through all the pain, suffering and loss there will always be the hope that you can be the person that can bare it. Have faith in your ability to change. Good luck.
Unfortunately dark times are a part of life. What really counts is your response to it and the meaning behind how you react
Well said
The most influential person in my life. He is the father figure we look up to for advice and guidance at any age.
When our son died of suicide, all I could do all I could focus on was to keep breathing. I couldn't think about the next hour let alone a future without him. 11 years later it's still one day at a time. You learn to carry the sorrow with you but it's always there.
C MOBERG, So very sorry to read of your loss.
It is a year since I lost my granddaughter to suicide and I can relate to what you have said.
One breath at a time...
I am proud of you, 11 years and you are still breathing. It takes courage to go on when you loose a loved one like this.
I pray I too can find the strength which you have. 🙏
It’s powerful message since Jordan has been going through some serious health concerns. 👍🏻
It’s a powerful message because we’re all going through some terrible amount of suffering.
Yes addiction pure and simple , no one can be a good example if you are a liar his tears are for himself , like most addicts
@@claudiachurch4285 what are you talking about?!
@@lethargic_cow jordon Peterson was addicted to mental health meds
@@tastytiletactician271 yeah, but he recognized it and he’s doing the work to straighten himself out. I don’t fault anyone for trying to improve. Also, I think this was recorded before he went through that.
Jordan Peterson's honest vulnerability is perhaps the most encouraging thing to find in humanity right now
I'm grateful to be viewing this video after my husband and life partner of 29 years passed away yesterday. Jordan Peterson presents important life lessons that can help us move forward.
"A big gap between tragedy and Hell". I needed to hear that. Going through a divorce from my husband of 24 years...a narcissist sociopath. I love him.... he's admitted he's incapable of loving anyone or anything... unless that's another lie....
I’ve been there and done that although we were only married for a couple of years. My narcissist sociopath ex WAS and IS incapable of truly loving someone... even our daughter (he left me for someone else when I was 8.5 months pregnant with her). He is only capable of pretending to ”love” when it suits him. I’m sorry you are dealing with this and hope the mental abuse wasn’t anything like I went through. Keep your chin up, dear. Brighter days are ahead💕
I just got done with a 13 year relationship where we were both so toxic for each other because we had so many internal issues that we both are thankfully working on today seperately, we have a daughter together and throughout all that chaos and ups and downs we still have love for each other and we are both cheering each other on to better ourselves, idk if we will reconcile but honestly I got lucky in the sense that at least we are friends and are helping each other grow. Dr peterson's videos have really helped me throughout all of this and this man is truly an angel walking amongst us humans, he's really made me reflect alot in my life and we are all thankful to have him.
Both of you ladies will recover and you will find true happiness, that I am certain of
There's help, a listening ear and counsel on Quora.com. Healing blessings on your journey. x
A hero for our times.
Because we have nothing better to do we should make the world a better place. Thank you JP for doing just that.🌞
i love that man
Me too. Never felt like this before about another man whom I'm not related to
yeahhhhhhh
2001
Yep, it's about getting through hell. Everyone eventually has to go through it to a certain extent sometime.
I've seen Petersen cry I've seen him angry, but he's the strongest person I've ever experienced. he is amazing.
The reaction to such times is what is important. You can either use it as a learning experience or pity yourself
There's plenty of people who have suffered more than me, but I've been asked more than once how I got through what I have and how I did it smiling and the answer is by doing this.
As dark as these past 4 years have been, the world has discovered Jordan Peterson. My discovery of him makes it bearable.
Dr Peterson never fails to choke me up, but in a positive way.
I too love animals and enjoy just looking at them playing. They are pure and innocent creatures.
Move forward with every lesson...a king expanding your territory through every trial and challenge..opportunity awaits
In dealing with dark times, we must learn and bring awareness to the random, serendipitous rays of light in moments when it fortuitously appears.
So glad he's back and can help us through the dark times. I don't know anyone that the sun has shined really bright on in 2020. I'm glad you're back Jordan Peterson, and thank you for everything you've done and do
If we didn't have dark times, we won't grow emotionally and offer empathy and comfort to those who are going through their own dark times.
Jordan Peterson is an absolute gem.
What should be told more often today. As I told my own subscribers. The hard times can make you stronger but only if you allow yourself to absorb the lessons learned and the tenacity it took to get through them. Because if you don't, tough times can bury you as well. If you give up with every road block then it will become the pattern for your life. If you develop a fighting mentality however, no matter what, then not only will the tough times be less in duration but when the times aren't hard you will advance even more so. The problem is we live in a generation of coddle now. We are telling them tough times should fall on society to get you through. And that will set someone up for an unfulfilled life. But if you keep your sword razor sharp, you will find that you will be prepared to use it quickly and won't even have to draw it nearly as much. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles
I have a genuine love and place in my heart for this man. He is genuine, honest, sincere, empathetic and passionate. He is a gem! I've never met him and most likely wont however I feel like I could trust him with my life. I have GAD and this guy explains things so perfectly for me. Love from UK ❤
So beautifully said
I’m balling right now. Been so lonely and hopeless and damn man this opened me up
I am now changing jobs and i am broke,but on my first salary i am buying this book. Mad respect for Jordan Peterson. Thank you,man!
Some people run away during crisis...these are the cowards that cant tow the line. Peterson was a strong parent. I dont agree w alot of his philosophies but i give him credit for his strength.
This made me tear up,
earlier this year when the pandemic started I had a lot of other outside stuff going horribly wrong and I absolutely broke. I would ball up on the floor of my apartment and just cry for hours. I was horribly depressed and filled with so much anxiety that the thought of suicide was so appealing to me that it scared me more than anything. There were many days that I stopped myself from driving for fear I would allow myself to crash. Jordan Peterson talks about narrowing your time frame down and sometimes that’s all you could do. I remember narrowing my time frame down to my next breath because I was scared I wasn’t going to make it to the next breath. It’s easy to hear someone talk about it but it’s so unbearably painful for to be in that position. I learned that in situation like these a caring ear is worth it’s weight in gold.
I hope things get better for you man ,stay strong
@@abhinarayan7751 thanks man I appreciate it, things are definitely better but things are still tough.
I hear you.
This touches exactly where I am right now. I hope i can turn my absolute hell into mere tragedy.
i need to clean my room and so much more...
I love Mr Peterson.
Not only did Mikhaila Peterson save herself, she also saved her fathers life as well. What a remarkable women she is!!!!
5 min ago I had tears in my eyes because of the dark place I am in currently, after listening to this I have a smile on my face and got hope to get through it :)
Soulful truth imparted explicitly well.
I love that his voice breaks with tears in his throat caused by sharing lessons from his own pain. I love that he draws universal meaning to supports what is the very best in a human being's response to crisis.
I often disagree with him on matters of psych meds and on weight and beauty. But there is no doubt in my mind that this man's message is what was desperately needed at a time of societal moral decay.
He is a godly man of genius and goodwill. What's not to love? And respect and admire?
May God bless him.
Can't like this speech enough. Amazing man
I don’t understand why people politicize Mr Peterson. Just close your eyes, relax and listen to him speak. You’ll feel better about yourself.
So comforting. Life is not hell, just a tragedy
It's true. Ive endured more suffering than I would've like (like most people). I learned that I'm tougher than i thought but it has also left me scarred.
Absolutely kills my heart when I hear his voice break.😭😭😭😭
Such an empath.
Thank you Mr Peterson! Let God bless you and your Family ! HE loves you very much!
I commented on this a month ago
Then the video disappeared along with my comment..?
Anyway it was just a huge thank you to you WordToTheWise for introducing me to JP at the start of the yr!! I was going through a really bad time but then one of your videos came up on my recommended one night-once watching I never looked back. I have covered so much of Dr Peterson's content over the year! Stumbled upon your channel exactly when I needed it! Never stop producing these, they are wonderful!! Massively appreciate the work you put into these ♡ 😊
Sorry Safi, had to modify the video but it's up for good now. Glad the videos have helped, thanks for watching!
I respect this guy more than any movies star.
I was a massive Shwarzenegger and Stallone fan but Peterson tops them all because it's his words that have counted the most and had the biggest influence.
This man is a prophet and a huge blessing to me and millions of others. Thank you.
If we didn't all attempt to make terrible things even worse than they are then maybe we can tolerate the terrible things that we have to put up with in order to exist.
I come from a family that suffers from bipolar. When I was a young teenager (12 yrs old) darkness came into my life and family, for mom started with her illness. She was 34yrs old and went through hell every single day with bipolar until she passed away in Aug 2015 in hospital with blocked attery in the intestine. The family stood by her side through thick and thin and never gave up. I had to grow up very fast, looked after the family needs and still graduate. I was never as an adult able to reach my visions the way I had envisioned. Anyway life is tough and never easy. I'm grateful to God for being there for me even in the days when I feel most helpless and depressed. He gives me hope everyday " just one more day, until I'm with you in eternity God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit" . This is my motivation and hope. Worldly and material things don't matter they are mere illusions. So many people seem to think that worldly things are the most important and yet they are so empty inside like an empty vessel or bottle. So sad to see that they deny themselves the truth and God's eternal love.
I love this man. We are lucky to have him around, aren't we?
Why do u think that?
@@loganturner3895 I just do. What do you think?
@@sonderman8079 Cool!
This video will save people's lives believe it or not. Sooner or later it will. That one minute will matter.
He went through some absolute torture, you can hear it in his voice
Dr Jordan Peterson, I appreciate you more than i know how to express, especially in the way you are teaching me. I love you for your courage and love for me an unlearned child now adult who was born in great abuse to a family that didn’t know how to love. The fact that you put yourself out there to be vulnerable in our behalf so that we can learn from your hard work and dedication to learning how to live is truly a godsend to me. You are one of my greatest blessings i have searched my whole life to learn these tools you are teaching me. You literally are an answer to my prayers! May god bless you and your family! Thank you.
My soul is in pure reverence of such a light
This is a perfect message for the world right now. We need this.
I’m going through a real tough time, unimaginable really, I need surgery as well as a host of other painful treatments if I’m gonna have any shot at getting my life back, my days are filled with pain, but this brought tears to my eyes, because it’s so true. God bless
❤️❤️❤️ thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Amazing words, incredible inspiration, in the dark there always shines hope.
“Good times create weak men. Weak men create bad times. Bad times create strong men. Strong men create good times.”
JP is a strong man
Their are no rules for how to suffer, only rules for how to survive the suffering...
"The darkness always lies."
Heartfelt. Thanks JP.
Thank you.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my little dog. l have just come across Jordan and his wisdom which is helping me a lot. God bless him.
Jordan Peterson points to two elements of how to deal with adversity: First, adjust your time frame to something you can cope with - if not the week ahead, then the next day, or even the present day or hour. Then, second, look for and embrace any positive things in that time frame (in his example, pet a cat if that is something that gives you a sense of something positive).
He mentions in passing but does not develop here, a third element of dealing with adversity (something he covers at some length in other parts of 12 Rules): Within that time frame, pick some small step you can take to make your situation just a little better in the next hour or day, and focus on doing that (he implies that his daughter did something like this to address her health problems). Then find some other small step, and so on. The point is that you shift your situation from passively horrible to a movement toward something better.
These three elements reinforce each other and are in stark contrast to what is taught in universities these days, and what has started to be pervasive in institutions and society more broadly: The left-wing liberal approach is to find your victim group (gender, race, sexual preference, or whatever), and then complain about the suffering, present or historical, of that group and campaign for a revolution, so that when it comes, a better social system will bring you relief from your adversity. Peterson's more positive and practical approach is why left-wing thinkers hate him so much.
Timothy Corwen (author, The Worth of a Person)
This man is one of my heroes
I hear determination in this statement.
I needed to hear this today. Thanks.
Wonderful, thank you.
I have listened to his audio book a couple of times. I really do think, behind all his flaws and the fact he is so intellectual about it, he is more human than most people I have come to know. Putting together real life with the written and spoken word. It is genious and very much worth a read or listen.
I had a an experiences with my sons that were pretty miserable. My firstborn contracted infantile botulism when he was 4 months old. He nearly died and ended up spending 5 weeks in the hospital, 3 of those on a ventilator. My third son had eczema so bad that it covered his entire body in itchy, weepy, bloody redness. Later, he nearly died of asthma attacks on a couple of occasions. I truly wanted to die at times during those episodes of life.
What I found is that it helps to do two things. True, focusing on the very near future and surviving that is necessary. Gratitude is very helpful. Those things help you avoid worry about long term outcomes and falling into the negativity trap. But focusing on the future promised in the Bible is even more helpful because it shows that there is hope for a life without misery:
"And no resident will say: “I am sick.”The people dwelling in the land will be pardoned for their error." - Isaiah 33:24
"With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.” And the One seated on the throne said: “Look! I am making all things new.” Also he says: “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” - Revelation 21:3, 4
He is another level human
JP is such a good man....
I love you so much; thank you for sharing your words. 💖
Loved it ..
If I only had heard this from Dr. Peterson a bit sooner I would possibly avoided going to Hell after the sudden tragic death my 35 y/o wife of 20 years! I went straight to Hell and never even imagined any other place or feeling was possible and only slightly believe I can truly live the lonely remainder of my broken existence anywhere that is not always at the outskirts and amid the violent and rage fueled fire inside this Hell I currently live.
Thank you for your wisdom and strength at a dark time for you and your family,that will help so many people.🙏
That was deep and meaningful.
Will do!
Beautiful person. Beautiful messed. 🙏
Great talk!!
Amen to that !
A neighborhood cat I've been feeding purred for me yesterday after a while silent. The difference seems to be adding a bit of Jordan to mealtime. How's that pal? smiles
Jordan Peterson speaks so much sense.... I love what he has to say. 12 Rules for Life. See the Beauty in the small things. I can so relate to this. On finding something wrong with my tiny daughter - life was tough. I had to have gratitude for the things I could do & the things she could do. She is LOVE. Thats why I can so relate to Jordan too
His daughter Mikayla is amazing! An amazing light while her dad was so sick
Glad I got to know his work ( a little late) but grateful. Smart guy with great input - pre ordered the new book already. Bless u JP !!
God Bless him 🙏🤗💕
What an amazing man.
dankie.
Very simple yet essential rule (a golden rule)
Narrow your time frame and you'd be greatful for what you have.
God bless JP!
I just love this man!
Fantastic video thanks