I really appreciate the question Kevin suggested. "What would have to happen for you to stop believing what you currently believe?" Very great question.
For any believing JW's watching and thinking they are exaggerating, dramatizing, or nutpicking... they are not. I've been there and I can verify this stuff happens everywhere. I would never have woken up if I hasn't become an elder and seen the double standard in the secret book and the absolute lack of care for child abuse victims. When I go public I'd be happy to be interviewed.
@@barriekelley2241 Oh I'm not asserting that at all. But what is disgusting about JW's is their leadership's refusal to apologize. Even the Catholic Church apologizes and admits the shame and disgrace. That was the final straw for me, blaming the victims and demonizing them as evil apostates. It has to stop. And I'll do everything I can to make it stop while I'm still in.
@@LOH__ I realize the strangeness of that phrase but it more so means to cherry pick crazy stories or stories involving crazy people, or nuts, hence the term nutpicking.
@@barriekelley2241 it can happen anywhere a gathering of children will be on a regular basis, this happens to children who the government look after In children homes where they should be safe but no child is no matter where they go, any religion that creates confusion and practices harmful things to children shunning them bullying them or brain washing them it’s a cult
I love Kevin honesty about his arrogance and egoistic behaviour. Many would deny having such feeling/attitude, not even some exjw. He sounds really honest about his past attitude and beliefs. Its good he knew/ know himself. This interview was very refreshing. 👏👏
There are plenty of psychological studies showing that the more power you have, the more you get convinced that you deserve it. Explains a lot of the behavior and attitude of the GB.
It is quite a relief to hear past elders share their consciences. A form of validation, acceptance, growth, chance for others to come to the same conclusions all give me a sense of relief.
I was an MS back in the '90s in a congregation with 7 Elders. 2 of the 7 were in their 70's and decent Men. The other 5 were (and I'm being completely honest) Ego driven competing and backstabbing disingenuous Men who had no real integrity other than to outmatch each other and even referred to the Alliances they would form between themselves as "camps." It turned out to be good for me because it played a big part in my feeling no regret from the very start of walking away from that Cult.
@@cherylseebreth328 We all heard the rhetoric about the evils of money and materialism preached to us constantly from the platform. It's also no secret that those who had money in the congregation seemed to be "insulated" from the condemnation. Looking back from the outside now it's so plain to see the Cognitive Dissonance and flat out Hypocrisy that thrives inside the Borg.
I knew Kevin when he was a bethelite. He was a pretty calm, intelligent person, someone you saw as doing it right. Not that I wanted to be in his shoes as a bethelite. He was a focussed person, which I wouldn’t doubt he is in his present life. I’m sure he’s happy he left. He’s a guy that if he put the same energy into being an entrepreneur vs. Bethelite or elder he would have been immensely successful and I’m sure he would be trying to help the world in a different way. No doubt he has the time and the drive to now today.
Oh hey, Mark! Thanks for the perspective and observations! You’re right that being on the other side of the Borg allows us to re-evaluate who we may become-and what we shall create-next...no question
Love this well thought-out ex-Elders' series. Great thanks Lloyd. A freshly appointed elder of 3 months was reported on by a sister he slept with regularly. He was subsequently disfellowshipped after confession. Yet "holy spirit" made his appointment possible! 😃
My best day as a JW was the day I was disfellowshipped. I am grateful that the committee treated me harshly. Life is tough and darkness can be a great source of strength, when processed right. If you are a believer, the Bible is a book full of people that failed and faced a crisis with their faith. I have had more pain and misery in life than most and I love my life.
you can tell kevin was the perfect company man. I don't like his comments, however i do appreciate the fact that he is being honest. For many being a elder is a power grab. It natural and human. I don't know why kevin left but I glad he is out. I wouldn't wish that religion on anyone.
@@KevinDubrosky Thank you so much for being a part of this tell-all. I think that if you went through 30 disfellowshipping judicial decisions, without regret, that being totally indoctrinated plays a big part of your memories. Because, each would be different sets of facts and I can't think that those facts were in every case righteous. However, you wanted to please, to be on the right side, to learn as a young person what happened. As you go forward, you may think about each case with a fresh eye and think about the subtleties of the facts in a new way. You may see your own role that you played in a new way. I am out for 15 years and still have to think through all that I have to unlearn about attitudes, facts and a good way forward in this wonderful life.
@@janderbing2961 I assumed he meant he had no regret at the time. I'm sure he would regret being part of the reason that a family would shun their child.
I did feel anger towards elders in general for many years after I left. Probably because I was a teen during most of my "tenure", and so was the target for "you should pioneer! You should be a ministerial servant! You should this annd you shouldn't that!" Truth be told, a couple of them were iredeemable buffoons only in it for the power. But I was angry until I discovered, thanks to you, Lloyd, that damn sherpherding book. Now I realize that they were just as trapped and controlled as me...no matter what their personal opinion might be, they had to obey, just like everybody else. And so my anger went away...except for those power hungry couple of buffoons.
I do remember being told when I was studying that the elders are chosen by Holy Spirit. Years later I remember thinking that must be nonsense when you were in the congregation and knew the behaviour of some of the elders when they were not at the meetings but still at that stage still believing it was “the truth”.
Yes ur true. I knew of an elder in my cong when I was in, he was known as a drunkard. Thats why whenever he leads the prayer before or after the meeting I wont say amen to his prayer. 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder how an Elder feels about someone that he disfellowshiped later commetted suicide knowing hoily spirit wasn't applied but by self made Judgment...... How honest he could be about such act.
I can’t speak for others, but thankfully nobody that was disfellowshipped from a committee I served on has taken their life (to my knowledge). And yeah it’s definitely not “Holy Spirit” guiding these men, but rather allegiance to the Borgs policies and a deep (imaginary) sense of divine direction and favour.
Excellent interview Lloyd, I like the question that every JW should ask themselves. There has to be a point where we must stop believing otherwise we are mind controlled cult members!
The power of “unthinking” language is shown by Barry even knowingly referring to the belief system he left over 25 years as “the truth”. I totally get it and at the same time strongly encourage anyone still caught up in “unthinking” language traps to consciously stop calling it “the truth” and instead call it (for example) “the organization” - a more or less neutral substitute.
I noticed also.. That he referred to it as:" the truth". I was not raised to witness.. Perhaps that helped but after learning from ex-witnesses today was right about it being a cult I realized that I had to change the language in immediately started training myself to use other words like Org, the subculture of Brothers and sisters.. Etc.
This reminds me of a situation where my daughter got involved with a Presiding overseers son. The elders had a meeting about disfellowshipping my daughter but not disfellowshipping the overseers son and so I got a call from one of the elders saying that if they decide to df her and not him the elder said he would be stepping down as an elder. So obviously there was alot of disagreements and they were trying to protect overseers family. They eventually df'd both of them.
If both parties were unrepentant they should be disfellowshipped. The congregation has to be kept clean. But what’s the alternative? If a person attends a mainstream church, they can live any decadent immoral unscriptural lifestyle they choose and nobody will intervene. As long as the collection plate is filled, that’s all they care about.
@@barriekelley2241 Unrepentant for what? Courtship? Bonding as two human beings? JWs talk about "replacing sweet for bitter, and bitter for sweet," yet it's exactly what they do. They demonize perfectly healthy human activities and coerce those engaging in them to stop under threat of losing their family and friends. Don't you dare talk to us about what's "immoral" when you have such a feeble grasp of it yourself.
@@barriekelley2241 Paul wrote out the instructions for the authentic Christian churches. Where did you find such of Paul's disfellowshipping instructions as applying to kids? Your part about being able to live just any unbilical worldly lifestyle at the rest of the churches simply isn't true. The Church of Christ although independent, and the Pentacostal church are very clear with their members in regards to how serious they are about disfellowshipping. I have family that was multi generation Pentacostal until they stopped going because they did not like disfellowshipping practices. In actuality the main problem isn't the instructions as Paul states them, but in who is administering them today. The word church has become very over and loosely used today. For many centuries there were very few denominations. It's only recently that
@@-Zer0Dark- I think the bible calls it fornication not bonding. You know behavior that brings a baby into the world without the benefit of marriage , adulthood and responsibilities.
A common complaint from children and teens would be that there weren't enough people their age in a congregation and they weren't allowed friends outside of the organisation. We were encouraged to be friends with people of all ages in the hall, because they were all good, godly people. When I was around 13-15 years old, I was friends with a man in his 20s. He disappeared. A couple years later there was a news article stating that that very same man I spent a lot of time speaking to after meetings, had been arrested for child trafficking. I'm 30 now and I still feel sick about it sometimes.
So agree with this my daughters would work with many others over a period of time on the ministry and go in cars I look back now and think what the heck was I thinking one elder in particular had a really bad obsession with young girls and was very inappropriate and lied on many occasions no matter how many times I myself and others reported him they would just say oh he means no harm that’s just brother so and so even when he had asked a 12 year old if she had tights or stockings and suspenders on while door to door
I studied for 2 years. Was an unbaptized publisher. I remember sitting in meeting at one point and wondering how such highly intelligent men could believe it all. I had questions. I wondered if these super smart men had any questions. Any misgivings. I pushed my misgiving away partly because I reasoned that if these men who were so intelligent believed, then there must be something I’m not seeing. I believed in time I would see it as well, understand it. Whatever IT was.
That question, “What would have to happen for you to stop believing what you currently believe?” is so important to ask any witness who might be willing to chat. It doesn’t matter what their response is because the point is to make them think about that possibility or understand their own reasons for it. I don’t challenge their answer because that closes the conversation but If they come back with a decent answer, I might just say, “same.” Then they can ask me what I mean.
During my 32-years run in the cult, I noticed that any person who became an elder to "help the congregation" did not last long as an elder. Either he would quit within a year or eventually be kicked out of the club.
Kevin, thanks for representing Canada. The question you pose to any JW watching is really apt. That was the exact question I asked myself at the beginning of my exit. Our reasons for leaving are often not as compelling as other reasons for someone else. I think that's an important thing to understand
@@KevinDubrosky It's also kind of a litmus test question. If someone can't even imagine questioning or doubting their current set of beliefs that is telling. If so, it's a dead end (brain washed). If not, then there is hope of furthering the intellectual exercise possibly leading to actual insight.
@@chrismarkin5965 💯 The hope is that even the most brainwashed will find it confronting to hear themselves deny ANYTHING EVER swaying them. Actually, you just opened up a new insight for me...in that account where the crowds left Jesus over his “shocking speech”, he turned to the apostles and asked “you do not want to go also, do you?”, and Peter (I think) said something like “Lord, whom shall we go to?” The underlying message is that the only reason one would ever leave is if they found somewhere else to go... Which is flawed reasoning. JWs are conditioned to be terrified of uncertainty. Which ironically is the path to truth. Thanks for the reflection!
@@KevinDubrosky I was thinking about a bit from Chris Rock who said that we are as 'faithful as our options are'. The modern Peter asks if the monkey could grasp hold of the new branch without letting hold of the former. The question I ask is : why does there need to be another?
I only made it as far as the ministerial servant and reg. pioneer ladder rung and found out how corrupt and controlling this cult was. I decided to live my life.
"I never was part of a disfellowshipping decision where I thought that the person was being treated unfairly." - Wow! I am so glad that I never accepted titles in that organization. Even during my indoctrinated days, I never saw disfellowshipping as a loving arrangement. I am also pleased that I wasn't in the same congregation where he served as an elder.
Like the music song at the beginning of the video and lyrics at the end of the video. It is a song by Duplex Heart, Dinah Smith, called - Not Forever (Thanks Lloyd) I got to keep it together, truly we all do. "Oh it’s a long hard fall From the top of the world But it’s finally over Finally over I gotta last one minute Just to get out alive So I keep it together Thinking it’s not forever"
I struggle depressive illness and I was slandered because of it I finally found and elder who was a counselor. He ended up telling me about problems elders had and that horrible things went on in congregation's and that if most people knew they would not want to be jws. Apparently as a counselor and in elder he was involved in many abuse cases that were then covered up. He told me if they had a file on him Bethel because he was more or less an advocate .
@@KevinDubrosky it's.called having an opinion and the freedom too share it.. We are no longer under the rule of the evil 8..you are entitled too express your thoughts but not everyone will agree with you.. Best wishes
I did NOT like Kevin's vibe. He may no longer be a JW. However, he still has to work on arrogance of a JW and JW elder. It's still there. There is a fine line in confidence and being self- assured and arrogance.
@Barry Roberts @Kevin Dubrosky I hope you share your exit stories sometime! Kevin, you were in my congregation as a kid. I remember doing service with you in Renforth. Really good to see you awake and clearly thriving!
Oh hey! Send me a DM on IG And yeah I’d be happy to share the exit story in detail sometime, but here’s the short version: I read “Crisis of Conscience” and it destroyed my world.
They do nothing whatsoever about child abuse currently know this from personal experience absolutely disgusting and vile they all cover for one another there’s probably some good ones in there who are doing right but most just hypocrites and fake
Interesting how the elder says he feels no guilt for disfellowshipping people. Now knowing it was all man made how could he not feel sorrow? Those people lost family and friends and were treated with emotional and spiritual abuse. And he played a part it that. Seem like Lloyd was trying to get him to see this.
I feel you on this. Having been disfellowshipped myself in Dec2016 I’m personally well aware of the traumatic impact of the DF’ing policy, and at the same time when I was serving felt like I was truly doing the Lords work on keeping the congregation clean. Now I see that DF’ing is an emotionally and mentally devastating activity, but at the time it felt righteous and right.
@@KevinDubrosky we all did things we wouldn’t normally have when we were believing witnesses. I’ve shunned family membership and friends thinking it was what I needed to do to make god happy. Im sorry if my comment offended you in anyway. All us exjws are on a journey of self reflection and healing. I thank you for sharing your experience.
@@ashleegoodrich513 no offence taken :) All of us exJWs have been victimized by this monstrosity, (no question) and some of us have lost DECADES. But we can all move forward and heal, as you said. And it makes me happy that we can share the journey together!
Funny isn't an Elder being elevated to a higher position a bit like higher Education but at a level of importance to the elder, more than those publishers being guided by them. Kevin bought out some good points of what I have witnessed in my years in the truth. Barry reminds me of an Elder , who was disfellowshipped for standing up for me when I wore trousers to meetings. He knew why I would not wear a dress. Agree with Kevin, what I thought was Real in that cult,......isn't....Thank you Lloyd and your gentlemen
I really enjoyed the interview. To Kevin's defense he did explain why he didn't feel bad about people been disfellowshiped as he really believed he was helping keep the congregation clean. It's also important to remeber that when we were JWs we were taught not to have any feelings especially when it came to those who are disfellowshiped. I think it was a 2016 convention video where a mom and dad had a daughter who was disfellowshiped and she called them and the mom wanted to answer but her husband reminded her that if she would ever talk to her daughter how could her daughter see her wrong doing. So according to the teaching is that feeling any remorse whatsoever and even speaking to a disfellowshiped person it would be like we were stopping that person from been disciplined by Jehovah. I hope I make sense.
When I was 8 or 9 I was brought into a judicial decision because my younger (about 6 year old) best friend was accused of sexual misconduct with his twin 4 year old cousins. They had 2 witnesses so they won the case but he hadn't been baptized. I was only their as a sort of character witness for him and to be asked if I thought he had done it they never told me what "it" was though.
*_THIS_* is why I hid from the elders when they were persecuting me to try and get me disfellowshipped. I took away their fake power by not allowing them to say my name from the platform.
It's a rite of passage. Visual evidence of their new-found freedom and a break from the arbitrary/capricious constraints and pronouncements of the not-inspired-by-Holy-Spirit, clown-car cadre of senescent muppets running the cult from NY. 😅
to permit a known j.w. child sex offender to go door to door, with an informed elder, should be considered a criminal offence. A wolf in sheep's clothing. As an historical child victim of sexual abuse, my body went cold, at the thought, that any religious organisation would possibly endanger, a member of the public, physically, and spiritually.
@@jadedstar7442 Exactly! Interesting how fornication is the biggest sin but sexual abuse (especially paedophilia) is punished with a slap on the wrist and a cover up. What a sick evil cult!
@@cherylseebreth328 Thank you. B U T it's not just the witnesses. It's every religion. It's Hollywood. It's governments. This is how Satan is staying alive. Im shocked at the information that is coming out. Child sacrifice didn't end in ancient times. It found it's way into Christianity back in 300 ad. It's everywhere. In everything.
@@jadedstar7442 You ate dead right. Thanks for the reinforcement. One knows these rhings but we tend to forget. I kid you not, sometimes I wonder if animals on their all fours are more moral than us humans
As an elders wife I knew of 8 men who were dangerous to children It was an isolated country congregation so that may explain why there were so many in one place None were reported to police!! I changed that number 3 times while typing… remembering more!! It was all hearsay from my point of view but that elder body including my ex husband knew/know!!!
I also wanted to help people...I definitely tried to reach out. For me the more I wanted to advance the harder it was...I watched people 20,30 and 40 years younger getting a position. For me I was never able to do enough. When speaking to two brothers the one mentioned to the other...we have decided to use him...but never heard anything. I have been out about 4 years and I have the comments...regarding being used in the congregation.
I’m personally a licensed mandated reporter who had to attend 28 hours of training. The training was quite intense. A mandated reporter is not only required to report child abuse be it sexual or otherwise but also every form of abuse of the elderly and spousal abuse. So I’m not sure how “mandated” an elder would be because they’re seemingly okay with physical and mental and emotional abuse at every age.
I felt sad when one ex elder said he still feels those people he DF’d deserved it..😩 ... maybe so if they were criminals.. abusers.. violent.. Did some just get drunk .. smoke.. have sex... maybe they were just belligerent.. I don’t know.....🤔 Re-edit: Doh...I spoke too soon...my apologies. I paused at the wrong moment...🤓
The ridiculousness of calling a 28-year-old an 'elder' tells you all you need to know. And if I ever get to hear one of them lecturing my 80-year-old mum about anything, they'll feel my wrath.
Hi Lloyd, like your channel but can you please reduce the volume on your opening song? Watching in the bedroom while my wife is sleeping with the TV volume down so it doesn't wake her up but then the song came on and woke her up. Now I am relegated to the couch.
Hi! The volume levels are fine. All my videos are professionally edited. Unfortunately I can't tailor my videos to suit whatever situation you happen to find yourself in when viewing. I suggest you apologise to your wife rather than trying to blame the RUclips content creator you happen to be watching when you wake her up.
Would be grateful if you would increase the volume on your videos as my wife is learning to play the trumpet and I am to lazy to adjust the sound up or down 🤣
Your info and video are fantastic but active JWs like my Mother need to see them. How can you circulate same via the JW tele evangelism which they watch? That will make the difference.
I've seen some people in the comments saying that for men growing a beard after leaving for men is a right of passage. Is there a female equivalent to this?
I have to admit, that I now cringe at the thought that I openly and with so much pride and conviction told everybody who would care to listen, that the JWs have THE TRUTH
@@KevinDubrosky That doesn't sound like love at all. Who wants to be a slave, to obey and submit to anyone or anything? The more I learn, the more I am convinced Jesus was not even a real person but an allegory for the Sun of God and it has been misinterpreted/mistranslated to mean the Son of God. Funny thing happens when you want to know instead of believe.
It was only when I became an elder that I realised how corrupt the elders are.. I was a part of the panarama programme
What’s that?
Yes I agree my experience was the same
@Its Me , sorry to have to correct you but Panorama is a documentary programme which airs on the BBC channel.
I really appreciate the question Kevin suggested. "What would have to happen for you to stop believing what you currently believe?" Very great question.
Glad it resonated
I agree its an excellent question, I have thought many times I would love to ask my family who are still in the cult that exact question
For any believing JW's watching and thinking they are exaggerating, dramatizing, or nutpicking... they are not. I've been there and I can verify this stuff happens everywhere. I would never have woken up if I hasn't become an elder and seen the double standard in the secret book and the absolute lack of care for child abuse victims. When I go public I'd be happy to be interviewed.
“Nutpicking” sounds fun…
Folks, don’t ever think that child abuse and covering up is unique to Jehovah’s Witnesses. It happens in all religions.
@@barriekelley2241 Oh I'm not asserting that at all. But what is disgusting about JW's is their leadership's refusal to apologize. Even the Catholic Church apologizes and admits the shame and disgrace. That was the final straw for me, blaming the victims and demonizing them as evil apostates. It has to stop. And I'll do everything I can to make it stop while I'm still in.
@@LOH__ I realize the strangeness of that phrase but it more so means to cherry pick crazy stories or stories involving crazy people, or nuts, hence the term nutpicking.
@@barriekelley2241 it can happen anywhere a gathering of children will be on a regular basis, this happens to children who the government look after In children homes where they should be safe but no child is no matter where they go, any religion that creates confusion and practices harmful things to children shunning them bullying them or brain washing them it’s a cult
Thank you so much for having these x elders on love the series so much !!!
I love Kevin honesty about his arrogance and egoistic behaviour. Many would deny having such feeling/attitude, not even some exjw. He sounds really honest about his past attitude and beliefs. Its good he knew/ know himself. This interview was very refreshing. 👏👏
Thanks for the kind words! Glad you found it refreshing.
Kevin Dubrosky 🤗🤗🤗
I agree. I was thinking the same thing.
Crisis of Conscience; the most painful book I ever read; but it killed my indoctrination thanks brother Ray Franz.
Amen.
World-destroying book.
(In what eventually feels like a good way)
There are plenty of psychological studies showing that the more power you have, the more you get convinced that you deserve it. Explains a lot of the behavior and attitude of the GB.
💯
It’s an intoxicating story to buy into.
Jnnnnnnjnnnnn
It is quite a relief to hear past elders share their consciences. A form of validation, acceptance, growth, chance for others to come to the same conclusions all give me a sense of relief.
Happy to hear it resonated!
Sooo impressed with how honest Barry and Kevin are. They really think before they answer questions.
Ty ty!
Working on it
Pimo elders can be helped through this. Tnx to these elders who speak out
You’re very welcome!
It's always interesting listening to the experiences of former Elders. Great interview ‼️ Thank you
I was an MS back in the '90s in a congregation with 7 Elders. 2 of the 7 were in their 70's and decent Men. The other 5 were (and I'm being completely honest) Ego driven competing and backstabbing disingenuous Men who had no real integrity other than to outmatch each other and even referred to the Alliances they would form between themselves as "camps." It turned out to be good for me because it played a big part in my feeling no regret from the very start of walking away from that Cult.
I believe you 💯
One elder in my congregation could not string a proper sentence together. However, he was the one in the cong with the most money.
@@cherylseebreth328 We all heard the rhetoric about the evils of money and materialism preached to us constantly from the platform. It's also no secret that those who had money in the congregation seemed to be "insulated" from the condemnation. Looking back from the outside now it's so plain to see the Cognitive Dissonance and flat out Hypocrisy that thrives inside the Borg.
@@willyb933 No different to "worldians". Perhaps worse because the JWs perch themselves on this highest moral ground.
Really interesting comment
I knew Kevin when he was a bethelite. He was a pretty calm, intelligent person, someone you saw as doing it right. Not that I wanted to be in his shoes as a bethelite. He was a focussed person, which I wouldn’t doubt he is in his present life. I’m sure he’s happy he left. He’s a guy that if he put the same energy into being an entrepreneur vs. Bethelite or elder he would have been immensely successful and I’m sure he would be trying to help the world in a different way. No doubt he has the time and the drive to now today.
Oh hey, Mark!
Thanks for the perspective and observations! You’re right that being on the other side of the Borg allows us to re-evaluate who we may become-and what we shall create-next...no question
No way!!! I was waiting for so long, this is my favorite series!
Thank you Barry, Lloyd, Kevin.etc. Exit plan is vital! We so appreciate your courage!! Good point Kevin! QUESTION!!!
Thanks!
I love the elder tell all videos.
FANTASTIC interview.
More of this, please!
Lloyd you are amazing, brave and I don’t think you know how much have helped people. Not just JWs.
Love this well thought-out ex-Elders' series. Great thanks Lloyd.
A freshly appointed elder of 3 months was reported on by a sister he slept with regularly.
He was subsequently disfellowshipped after confession. Yet "holy spirit" made his appointment possible! 😃
My best day as a JW was the day I was disfellowshipped. I am grateful that the committee treated me harshly. Life is tough and darkness can be a great source of strength, when processed right. If you are a believer, the Bible is a book full of people that failed and faced a crisis with their faith. I have had more pain and misery in life than most and I love my life.
Great to hear you’ve moved through the darkness and are now thriving!
This resonates deeply....
That was excellent viewing Lloyd. Thank you.
you can tell kevin was the perfect company man. I don't like his comments, however i do appreciate the fact that he is being honest. For many being a elder is a power grab. It natural and human. I don't know why kevin left but I glad he is out. I wouldn't wish that religion on anyone.
Yup, I was a true believer and absolutely indoctrinated and committed to the mission (until I woke up).
Appreciate the warmth re: honesty.
@@KevinDubrosky you are awesome. Keep doing what you are doing.
@@shimae1964, I agree, he puts his mind in gear before he speaks
@@KevinDubrosky Thank you so much for being a part of this tell-all. I think that if you went through 30 disfellowshipping judicial decisions, without regret, that being totally indoctrinated plays a big part of your memories. Because, each would be different sets of facts and I can't think that those facts were in every case righteous. However, you wanted to please, to be on the right side, to learn as a young person what happened. As you go forward, you may think about each case with a fresh eye and think about the subtleties of the facts in a new way. You may see your own role that you played in a new way. I am out for 15 years and still have to think through all that I have to unlearn about attitudes, facts and a good way forward in this wonderful life.
@@janderbing2961 I assumed he meant he had no regret at the time. I'm sure he would regret being part of the reason that a family would shun their child.
Loved this interview both Kevin and Barry were so open and honest.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Great series, Lloyd. I like the contrasting perspectives as well as the shared reflections.
I really enjoy this series
Me 2 eventho I kind of knew some of this stuff due to my dad being one for year’s!!
Ainda bem.
I did feel anger towards elders in general for many years after I left. Probably because I was a teen during most of my "tenure", and so was the target for "you should pioneer! You should be a ministerial servant! You should this annd you shouldn't that!" Truth be told, a couple of them were iredeemable buffoons only in it for the power. But I was angry until I discovered, thanks to you, Lloyd, that damn sherpherding book. Now I realize that they were just as trapped and controlled as me...no matter what their personal opinion might be, they had to obey, just like everybody else. And so my anger went away...except for those power hungry couple of buffoons.
no they are not people think they are trapped in a religion but in america that is the biggest lie ever told
Waking up saved my life. Awesome discussion from all three of you. Thanks.
You’re very welcome!
I do remember being told when I was studying that the elders are chosen by Holy Spirit. Years later I remember thinking that must be nonsense when you were in the congregation and knew the behaviour of some of the elders when they were not at the meetings but still at that stage still believing it was “the truth”.
Yes ur true. I knew of an elder in my cong when I was in, he was known as a drunkard. Thats why whenever he leads the prayer before or after the meeting I wont say amen to his prayer. 🤣🤣🤣
When you become an Elder you find out how the sausages are made! Great video!
Love this series, Thanks again Lloyd 😊
I don't really ever say this, but Lloyd is a cool dude. Thanks for being a cool dude, Lloyd.
When I left ..I mentally prepared myself before I left ...a good couple of years before .
I wonder how an Elder feels about someone that he disfellowshiped later commetted suicide knowing hoily spirit wasn't applied but by self made Judgment...... How honest he could be about such act.
Yeah! You have asked such a profound question. How would they feel? Wish one of the thumbs down would answer your question.
I can’t speak for others, but thankfully nobody that was disfellowshipped from a committee I served on has taken their life (to my knowledge).
And yeah it’s definitely not “Holy Spirit” guiding these men, but rather allegiance to the Borgs policies and a deep (imaginary) sense of divine direction and favour.
Loving the series.
I enjoyed it immensely! Thankful that these men have escaped.
YESS Lloyd. Incredible.
LOVE all your beards!! lol....Grow them ....GROW THEM!!!
Haha
I approve this message
It's funny to read this comment in 2024 😂
Excellent interview Lloyd, I like the question that every JW should ask themselves. There has to be a point where we must stop believing otherwise we are mind controlled cult members!
The power of “unthinking” language is shown by Barry even knowingly referring to the belief system he left over 25 years as “the truth”. I totally get it and at the same time strongly encourage anyone still caught up in “unthinking” language traps to consciously stop calling it “the truth” and instead call it (for example) “the organization” - a more or less neutral substitute.
I noticed also.. That he referred to it as:" the truth". I was not raised to witness.. Perhaps that helped but after learning from ex-witnesses today was right about it being a cult I realized that I had to change the language in immediately started training myself to use other words like Org, the subculture of Brothers and sisters.. Etc.
I agree it's not the truth therefore it shouldn't not be addressed as such.
@@cynthiabiel7714 The apostle Paul referred to true worship as The Way (Acts 9:2).
@@mandisamtshemla481 Then who has the truth today?
Jesus is the truth
This reminds me of a situation where my daughter got involved with a Presiding overseers son.
The elders had a meeting about disfellowshipping my daughter but not disfellowshipping the overseers son and so I got a call from one of the elders saying that if they decide to df her and not him the elder said he would be stepping down as an elder. So obviously there was alot of disagreements and they were trying to protect overseers family. They eventually df'd both of them.
If both parties were unrepentant they should be disfellowshipped. The congregation has to be kept clean. But what’s the alternative? If a person attends a mainstream church, they can live any decadent immoral unscriptural lifestyle they choose and nobody will intervene. As long as the collection plate is filled, that’s all they care about.
@@barriekelley2241 Unrepentant for what? Courtship? Bonding as two human beings?
JWs talk about "replacing sweet for bitter, and bitter for sweet," yet it's exactly what they do. They demonize perfectly healthy human activities and coerce those engaging in them to stop under threat of losing their family and friends. Don't you dare talk to us about what's "immoral" when you have such a feeble grasp of it yourself.
@@barriekelley2241 Paul wrote out the instructions for the authentic Christian churches. Where did you find such of Paul's disfellowshipping instructions as applying to kids?
Your part about being able to live just any unbilical worldly lifestyle at the rest of the churches simply isn't true. The Church of Christ although independent, and the Pentacostal church are very clear with their members in regards to how serious they are about disfellowshipping. I have family that was multi generation Pentacostal until they stopped going because they did not like disfellowshipping practices. In actuality the main problem isn't the instructions as Paul states them, but in who is administering them today. The word church has become very over and loosely used today. For many centuries there were very few denominations. It's only recently that
@@-Zer0Dark- I think the bible calls it fornication not bonding. You know behavior that brings a baby into the world without the benefit of marriage , adulthood and responsibilities.
@@-Zer0Dark- Have you ever read 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10? Does God approve of common law and same sex relationships? I’m willing to bet your church does.
A common complaint from children and teens would be that there weren't enough people their age in a congregation and they weren't allowed friends outside of the organisation.
We were encouraged to be friends with people of all ages in the hall, because they were all good, godly people. When I was around 13-15 years old, I was friends with a man in his 20s.
He disappeared. A couple years later there was a news article stating that that very same man I spent a lot of time speaking to after meetings, had been arrested for child trafficking. I'm 30 now and I still feel sick about it sometimes.
So agree with this my daughters would work with many others over a period of time on the ministry and go in cars I look back now and think what the heck was I thinking one elder in particular had a really bad obsession with young girls and was very inappropriate and lied on many occasions no matter how many times I myself and others reported him they would just say oh he means no harm that’s just brother so and so even when he had asked a 12 year old if she had tights or stockings and suspenders on while door to door
Need more of these!
I studied for 2 years. Was an unbaptized publisher. I remember sitting in meeting at one point and wondering how such highly intelligent men could believe it all. I had questions. I wondered if these super smart men had any questions. Any misgivings. I pushed my misgiving away partly because I reasoned that if these men who were so intelligent believed, then there must be something I’m not seeing. I believed in time I would see it as well, understand it. Whatever IT was.
I can relate! Felt exactly the same for a long time.
Such a dangerous cycle.
That question, “What would have to happen for you to stop believing what you currently believe?” is so important to ask any witness who might be willing to chat. It doesn’t matter what their response is because the point is to make them think about that possibility or understand their own reasons for it. I don’t challenge their answer because that closes the conversation but If they come back with a decent answer, I might just say, “same.” Then they can ask me what I mean.
During my 32-years run in the cult, I noticed that any person who became an elder to "help the congregation" did not last long as an elder. Either he would quit within a year or eventually be kicked out of the club.
Yes..the bullies club. The leaders of the cliques and the spreaders of the most harmful gossip in any congregation.
Kevin, thanks for representing Canada. The question you pose to any JW watching is really apt. That was the exact question I asked myself at the beginning of my exit. Our reasons for leaving are often not as compelling as other reasons for someone else. I think that's an important thing to understand
It’s a pleasure! And great point about our reasons being unique to each of us... (not that you asked for or need my validation)
@@KevinDubrosky It's also kind of a litmus test question. If someone can't even imagine questioning or doubting their current set of beliefs that is telling. If so, it's a dead end (brain washed). If not, then there is hope of furthering the intellectual exercise possibly leading to actual insight.
@@chrismarkin5965 💯
The hope is that even the most brainwashed will find it confronting to hear themselves deny ANYTHING EVER swaying them.
Actually, you just opened up a new insight for me...in that account where the crowds left Jesus over his “shocking speech”, he turned to the apostles and asked “you do not want to go also, do you?”, and Peter (I think) said something like “Lord, whom shall we go to?”
The underlying message is that the only reason one would ever leave is if they found somewhere else to go...
Which is flawed reasoning.
JWs are conditioned to be terrified of uncertainty. Which ironically is the path to truth.
Thanks for the reflection!
@@KevinDubrosky I was thinking about a bit from Chris Rock who said that we are as 'faithful as our options are'. The modern Peter asks if the monkey could grasp hold of the new branch without letting hold of the former. The question I ask is : why does there need to be another?
@@chrismarkin5965 exactly.
Until we embrace the possibility of letting go without a new branch available we are forever trapped.
Same with my father ,he said when he joined the elders,they argued so much that he eventually stepped down.
There wasn’t a LOT of fighting in my experience, but it definitely did happen around assignments and judicial events,
I only made it as far as the ministerial servant and reg. pioneer ladder rung and found out how corrupt and controlling this cult was. I decided to live my life.
"I never was part of a disfellowshipping decision where I thought that the person was being treated unfairly." - Wow! I am so glad that I never accepted titles in that organization. Even during my indoctrinated days, I never saw disfellowshipping as a loving arrangement. I am also pleased that I wasn't in the same congregation where he served as an elder.
I respect your perspective.
Completely agree. Arrogant and upsetting to hear.
Like the music song at the beginning of the video and lyrics at the end of the video. It is a song by Duplex Heart, Dinah Smith, called - Not Forever (Thanks Lloyd) I got to keep it together, truly we all do.
"Oh it’s a long hard fall
From the top of the world
But it’s finally over
Finally over
I gotta last one minute
Just to get out alive
So I keep it together
Thinking it’s not forever"
I struggle depressive illness and I was slandered because of it I finally found and elder who was a counselor. He ended up telling me about problems elders had and that horrible things went on in congregation's and that if most people knew they would not want to be jws. Apparently as a counselor and in elder he was involved in many abuse cases that were then covered up. He told me if they had a file on him Bethel because he was more or less an advocate .
I do appreciate Kevins' honesty but I must confess I winced when he said he had no regrets. That's alot of unelected power to be so cool about.
Appreciate your thoughts
@@djiboutidjango3196 thanks! Yeah it’s funny how even in the exJW community we can have expectations about what we want others to think and feel
@@KevinDubrosky it's.called having an opinion and the freedom too share it.. We are no longer under the rule of the evil 8..you are entitled too express your thoughts but not everyone will agree with you.. Best wishes
@@shanghaiberti4142 💯
I did NOT like Kevin's vibe. He may no longer be a JW. However, he still has to work on arrogance of a JW and JW elder. It's still there. There is a fine line in confidence and being self- assured and arrogance.
Lloyd your tshirt makes you look like a WT publication book ;) My book of bible stories!
😄
Thanks, now I can not unsee that 🤣
@Barry Roberts @Kevin Dubrosky I hope you share your exit stories sometime! Kevin, you were in my congregation as a kid. I remember doing service with you in Renforth. Really good to see you awake and clearly thriving!
Oh hey! Send me a DM on IG
And yeah I’d be happy to share the exit story in detail sometime, but here’s the short version: I read “Crisis of Conscience” and it destroyed my world.
Damn, this was a good video.
They do nothing whatsoever about child abuse currently know this from personal experience absolutely disgusting and vile they all cover for one another there’s probably some good ones in there who are doing right but most just hypocrites and fake
I have a strange feeling that the one dislike is from someone on the GB 🤣🤣😂😂 Good program lloyd
Hilarious how a mid 20’s brother could become a elder. Watchtower should of just stuck with the name “Cult Leaders”.
Interesting how the elder says he feels no guilt for disfellowshipping people. Now knowing it was all man made how could he not feel sorrow? Those people lost family and friends and were treated with emotional and spiritual abuse. And he played a part it that.
Seem like Lloyd was trying to get him to see this.
I feel you on this.
Having been disfellowshipped myself in Dec2016 I’m personally well aware of the traumatic impact of the DF’ing policy, and at the same time when I was serving felt like I was truly doing the Lords work on keeping the congregation clean.
Now I see that DF’ing is an emotionally and mentally devastating activity, but at the time it felt righteous and right.
@@KevinDubrosky we all did things we wouldn’t normally have when we were believing witnesses. I’ve shunned family membership and friends thinking it was what I needed to do to make god happy.
Im sorry if my comment offended you in anyway. All us exjws are on a journey of self reflection and healing. I thank you for sharing your experience.
@@ashleegoodrich513 no offence taken :)
All of us exJWs have been victimized by this monstrosity, (no question) and some of us have lost DECADES.
But we can all move forward and heal, as you said. And it makes me happy that we can share the journey together!
Great interview 👍
On nearly all your videos the men have beards! I’m half way tempted to approach bearded men at Home Depot and ask if they’re ex witnesses😂
Funny isn't an Elder being elevated to a higher position a bit like higher Education but at a level of importance to the elder, more than those publishers being guided by them. Kevin bought out some good points of what I have witnessed in my years in the truth. Barry reminds me of an Elder , who was disfellowshipped for standing up for me when I wore trousers to meetings. He knew why I would not wear a dress. Agree with Kevin, what I thought was Real in that cult,......isn't....Thank you Lloyd and your gentlemen
It was a pleasure!
Thank you for your kind words.
It strikes me that Kevin still has the mannerisms of an elder.. Barry is so humble
Intriguing
Yes I am getting some arrogance
@@stevenclarke5606 he seems too still have the holyer than thow attitude
@@KevinDubrosky hi.. Its just the way you Come across.. In my oppinion
@@djiboutidjango3196 because he obviously got off from the power of being an elder and a tool in the Cult that totally controls the sheep!
I really enjoyed the interview. To Kevin's defense he did explain why he didn't feel bad about people been disfellowshiped as he really believed he was helping keep the congregation clean. It's also important to remeber that when we were JWs we were taught not to have any feelings especially when it came to those who are disfellowshiped. I think it was a 2016 convention video where a mom and dad had a daughter who was disfellowshiped and she called them and the mom wanted to answer but her husband reminded her that if she would ever talk to her daughter how could her daughter see her wrong doing. So according to the teaching is that feeling any remorse whatsoever and even speaking to a disfellowshiped person it would be like we were stopping that person from been disciplined by Jehovah.
I hope I make sense.
It’s crazy what the Borg teaches us to consider “normal” isn’t it?
Way to go buddy!
When I was 8 or 9 I was brought into a judicial decision because my younger (about 6 year old) best friend was accused of sexual misconduct with his twin 4 year old cousins. They had 2 witnesses so they won the case but he hadn't been baptized. I was only their as a sort of character witness for him and to be asked if I thought he had done it they never told me what "it" was though.
*_THIS_* is why I hid from the elders when they were persecuting me to try and get me disfellowshipped. I took away their fake power by not allowing them to say my name from the platform.
Do all ex JW elders need a beard?
No, all ex JW men.
It's a rite of passage.
Visual evidence of their new-found freedom and a break from the arbitrary/capricious constraints and pronouncements of the not-inspired-by-Holy-Spirit, clown-car cadre of senescent muppets running the cult from NY. 😅
It is a funny visual cue, isn’t it?
I had a beard for years when i was a jw. I got rid of it after i left.
Thank you for sharing your story Kevin, I had the same experience after reading Crisis of Conscience.
You’re very welcome and glad to hear.
What a gift Ray left for us!
Anyone else raising and lowering the volume every 30 seconds to here the older man talk???😂😂
Love this
to permit a known j.w. child sex offender to go door to door, with an informed elder, should be considered a criminal offence. A wolf in sheep's clothing. As an historical child victim of sexual abuse, my body went cold, at the thought, that any religious organisation would possibly endanger, a member of the public, physically, and spiritually.
Sorry to hear that you were sexually abused especially by a so called man/woman of God.
How is this not fornication? Very puzzling 🤔!
@@jadedstar7442 Exactly! Interesting how fornication is the biggest sin but sexual abuse (especially paedophilia) is punished with a slap on the wrist and a cover up. What a sick evil cult!
@@cherylseebreth328 Thank you. B U T it's not just the witnesses. It's every religion. It's Hollywood. It's governments. This is how Satan is staying alive. Im shocked at the information that is coming out. Child sacrifice didn't end in ancient times. It found it's way into Christianity back in 300 ad. It's everywhere. In everything.
@@jadedstar7442 You ate dead right. Thanks for the reinforcement. One knows these rhings but we tend to forget. I kid you not, sometimes I wonder if animals on their all fours are more moral than us humans
random question what is your outro song? i don't see it mentioned anywhere and i can't find it from what little you play at the end of your videos
As an elders wife I knew of 8 men who were dangerous to children
It was an isolated country congregation so that may explain why there were so many in one place
None were reported to police!!
I changed that number 3 times while typing… remembering more!!
It was all hearsay from my point of view but that elder body including my ex husband knew/know!!!
Thank you this enlightening discussion amongst Elders. I wonder did Kevin repair his relationship with his brother who was disfellowshipped?
I sure have!
We’ve reconnected after 20 years and now feel almost as close as we ever were.
That’s beautiful Kevin 🤩
i love the background from Barry
These PMO elders need to band together and approach the govern body…start questioning in large groups ….start protesting THEIR bible doctrines!
Never happen, unfortunately. They wouldn't be PIMO for long, would they?
i hear now they are teaching elders about how to lead after armageddon. Like they know!
I have not left God. I left a religion. Babylon the Great.
I also wanted to help people...I definitely tried to reach out. For me the more I wanted to advance the harder it was...I watched people 20,30 and 40 years younger getting a position. For me I was never able to do enough. When speaking to two brothers the one mentioned to the other...we have decided to use him...but never heard anything. I have been out about 4 years and I have the comments...regarding being used in the congregation.
I was just speaking to a elder and they told me they are now mandatory reporters is that true?
I’m personally a licensed mandated reporter who had to attend 28 hours of training. The training was quite intense. A mandated reporter is not only required to report child abuse be it sexual or otherwise but also every form of abuse of the elderly and spousal abuse. So I’m not sure how “mandated” an elder would be because they’re seemingly okay with physical and mental and emotional abuse at every age.
I felt sad when one ex elder said he still feels those people he DF’d deserved it..😩
... maybe so if they were criminals.. abusers.. violent..
Did some just get drunk .. smoke.. have sex... maybe they were just belligerent..
I don’t know.....🤔
Re-edit: Doh...I spoke too soon...my apologies.
I paused at the wrong moment...🤓
Haha glad you kept watching :)
Love Barry's background.
The ridiculousness of calling a 28-year-old an 'elder' tells you all you need to know. And if I ever get to hear one of them lecturing my 80-year-old mum about anything, they'll feel my wrath.
I knew "elders" as young as 20.
lol im 27 and think that i now everythink nowdays xD
Hi Lloyd, like your channel but can you please reduce the volume on your opening song? Watching in the bedroom while my wife is sleeping with the TV volume down so it doesn't wake her up but then the song came on and woke her up. Now I am relegated to the couch.
Hi! The volume levels are fine. All my videos are professionally edited. Unfortunately I can't tailor my videos to suit whatever situation you happen to find yourself in when viewing. I suggest you apologise to your wife rather than trying to blame the RUclips content creator you happen to be watching when you wake her up.
Would be grateful if you would increase the volume on your videos as my wife is learning to play the trumpet and I am to lazy to adjust the sound up or down 🤣
😂Got to agree Michael....the content helps put me to sleep and then that damn song comes on.
J-Dub Lingo: Privileges = Meanless Title.
And Unpaid Labor!
@@KevinDubrosky - Yup, don't forget, "unpaid."
Someday I hope I'll see my dad on this program:)
Excellent
Your info and video are fantastic but active JWs like my Mother need to see them. How can you circulate same via the JW tele evangelism which they watch? That will make the difference.
I hear congregations no longer have PO’s anymore yes my dad used to be one!! And didn’t Jesus have a beard also?
Co ordinator of the Body of Elders is the new PO
@@reluctantheist5224 ok ty I didn’t know that!!
What is a ministerial servant?
@@stevenclarke5606 it's like a step below an elder. They help with congregational duties.
@@slantblant1 ok thanks for letting me know.
I've seen some people in the comments saying that for men growing a beard after leaving for men is a right of passage. Is there a female equivalent to this?
For me it was short dresses/skirts lol
Pants whenever and wherever I like 😊
Yes. Ear piercings. We were allowed more than one set. Also earing coloured nail polish eg blue, green, black etc.....
For me it was dying my hair pink.
Tattoos??
Probably not the time or place but….Kevin is INCREDIBLY handsome!!
Haha! Yeah, I totally agree. 😊 But good series as well. Being "just a female" in the Borg, it's a nice insight into the world of elders.
Haha thanks
He knows…
so random, he looks just like my neighbor Kristine. She’s very handsome.
....lack of concern for the lives they possibly ruined is problematic
Absolutely.
Lovely people
I have to admit, that I now cringe at the thought that I openly and with so much pride and conviction told everybody who would care to listen, that the JWs have THE TRUTH
Same!
18:26 "the faithful slave"? What is that?
That’s an expression Jesus used to describe his true followers that would take the lead that JWs currently believe applies exclusively to the GB.
@@KevinDubrosky That doesn't sound like love at all. Who wants to be a slave, to obey and submit to anyone or anything? The more I learn, the more I am convinced Jesus was not even a real person but an allegory for the Sun of God and it has been misinterpreted/mistranslated to mean the Son of God. Funny thing happens when you want to know instead of believe.
Immediately to the elders: I rethink this personally. Nope, I dont worship the elders and they know it. People give them too much power.
Great interview. Also Kevin is such a handsome man.
Glad you enjoyed it! (And thanks)
❤ Agreed!