Interesting, someone can try to be what they're not, but a real authentic person will nearly always notice fake people. To be authentic = knowing who and what you are in life, without really trying. Trying to be what's expected from the society's game of power, to try and intimidate others is only a game. A true authentic person cannot be influenced or intimidated easily. Namaste 🙏
sorry to be so off topic but does anyone know a tool to get back into an Instagram account? I somehow lost my password. I would love any assistance you can offer me!
1- smile less 2- Interrupt (accidentally because everyone naturally pays attention to them) 3- Hold eye contact more when they're speaking to you but hold eye contact less when you're talking 4- Stand still, move very purposely 5- Hold their heads still, they don't nod
this summary (very on point by the way) made me laugh. I mean, is this supposed to be a good thing? confusing. looks like a remedy to appear robotic and controlling, a recipe to make you very uncomfortable. hmmmm I think the 50's are behind us.
True leaders are confident, smile, actively listen and engage with their team. They lead by example and treat others as they would want to be treated. It's not about power. It's about gaining trust by being a real and down to earth person. I get positive feedback from those I lead on a regular basis. I would never want to lead by intimidation or power tripping. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the video even if I disagree.
You are a great leader. in a couple other comments I also tried to say the same thing, but feel I came across as judging the messenger. I didn't mean to. but I feel so strongly and you summed it up very nicely. I also lead teams in the past and was only well-received when I followed your advice!!! I started out as you say, then was told to change, and I tried but it felt horrible and was not useful. then i went back to your way. When asked by "management' why I "included my two team members" in my talk, I laughed and said "women tend to lead by cooperation and inclusion, and it works very effectively for them." wink wink. I think that 'boss' understood and maytbe changed his monovision.
It has nothing to do with intimidation. You are assuming seriousness equals hostility and missing a lot of dynamics. Trust and respect doesn't need to be built on smiles and compliance.
There is a difference between being rude and being a leader... try to smile less, stare at people when you talk to them and look away when they talk back to you, stand still, and never nod your head during any conversation, I promise you that you will find everyone left you and you got nobody but your own ego to lead.
Body Language of Leaders 1. They smile less. >smiling signals subordination 2. They interrupt. (but) > when they speak/interrupt people naturally quiet down 3. They hold eye contact. (but) > they hold eye contact more when speaking to you, and less when being speaked to 4. They stay still, don't pace. > they observe and only move purposely And 5. They hold their head still when talking to you, don't nod. > nodding, like smiling, signals subordination. thank me later boiz
heads up for females: as a professional research scientist I did all the leadership things covered in this video (smiled less, moved less, and stood still, looked away,) and was always told I was too serious and harsh; I was told to instead smile, move, look in eye, and nod to show i understood and was paying attention. this video is just for men. women have different rules/needs because the masses still see women as different. just saying.
@@popopopa1719 pff....it depends on how masculine or macho the culture is you re navigating in. compare north european versus south european men or leadership culture and you know what i mean
The characteristics she mentioned may sound rude or un-leader but I agree with her. The leaders may appear very friendly and very accommodating when they interact with the people who are in the very low ranks but what Vanessa said is typical behaviors when these leaders interact with fellow leaders. This really happens in meetings attended exclusively by CEO to AVP level only (no managers and below allowed) as they discuss a new business acquisition, implementation of new business models, partnering with vendors, spending millions and billions of dollars, and other high-level discussions. I can't imagine a CEO of a company nodding excessively while someone in the boardroom is talking about business expansion. But I would expect him to smile a lot during company events or during RnRs. If you come across the SVP of your company in the hallway smiling from ear to ear at you, then you probably are not even a senior manager. Also if you smile softly at someone who is at a low rank and you barely know the person, then you must be at the same level as that person. Surprisingly everything she said seems inherent in a leader and is not done consciously. I have met leaders from the US, Aus, India, and Philippines and they all seem to speak the same body language during high-level business meetings especially when hundreds of millions of dollars is involved as a result of the discussion. Thanks, Vanessa, for this. I should connect with you on LinkedIn -Leadership Development Manager
Inspite of the different comments here.. I think that she is absolutely right. When I was held in a leadership role before .. I was not taken seriously by others... Now I know why
A big difference I've noticed in how well people respond to me has happened just by changing 2 things...the tonality, or timbre, of my voice, and keeping my head still while talking to people
The best leaders are leaders who make you feel comfortable. I do look people in the eye much more when speaking than I’m spoken to. If someone taps my elbow to get my focus on them it’s fine, but if they stop the conversation every time I don’t make eye contact that’s being selfish, and will definitely bring it up
Thank you for the video. Although this is a 7yo video the time I wrote this comment, I assume many is still watching it. Therefore, I would give a small comment here from a strong and successful leader: Body language is not about being stronger/weaker or more/less serious person. It is about COMMUNICATION. Depending where you work and who you lead, you have to use the right body language. For example: a military "leader" would use less body language but more of voice tone manipulation. While a sport team leader would use body language plus voice tone. A motivational leader would use so much of body language, voice manipulation that fit the topic. So in general, there is not a rule-of-thump for how a leader should speak to people. Otherwise, many leaders that exist today should be not considered meeting the specs :)
You obviously don’t know shit about shit if you posted that statement. You’re implying that submissive behaviors are helpful for somebody in the role of a boss. They’re not. They might make people like you more, but liking someone and respecting someone are two different things. I agree that a boss should do just enough occasional smiling or joking to be somewhat likable/not hated, but they need to maintain the aura of a boss. Otherwise, nobody’s going to respect them and do their job properly
Nobody cares if you like them or not you obviously lack leadership. It's lonely at the top only respect matters. I've known people with high authority and respect is respect love NEVER gets the job done. Nor religion and that's coming from a catholic...
I strongly resonated with the last one ‘quit nodding.’ I did this earlier today while having conversation with my Director. I felt myself being subordinate for a moment. That is something that never comes easy for me. I immediately knew I should stop nodding as if everythin she said was right
I've been established as a leader somewhere, and I'm fully confident in my ability to do the job. It's a challenge, but challenges help us grow, I will keep moving forward and be a great leader! ♐
Many of these qualities depend on the context/situation in which they are done. Never smiling seems to be black/white thinking. On the other hand, compulsively smiling to please others or soothe one's self in social situations is also an example of black/white thinking. I have personally found that being direct/straightforward while remaining compassionate (not soft) is the most prominent quality of a leader since the leader's role is to level up those around him. At times, a tough hand is needed to improve others. The intent is not to make them self conscious or overpower them however.
At times, it pays to do the submissive behaviors. It ingratiates a leader to you, especially if you are trying to build trust in a new position as their employee. I stared and nodded in Econ in college the whole class, every class. My professor would let me retake a test or do work for extra credit because he appreciated how much I was paying attention. There’s a time and place for each behavior. Letting someone know you look up to them by being submissive may be a great idea if that’s the actual dynamic.
When I was a kid, there was a large piece of property just outside of our subdivision of homes. It was wooded and had a few tanks (man made ponds for those who might be confused) on the property. It was our playground at least for those of us who were more adventurous than merely sitting around watching TV. We even had more than our fair share of battles on that property involving bb guns and homemade hand grenades. Out of the corp group of us kids, one of us is a nuclear physicist, one is a police officer, one is a marine and one is a serial entrepreneur. We all took very different paths from our childhood days but that's another story all together. There were other players in our wooded adventure land that has long since been turned into a giant shopping mall. One of those other friends and I were out hiking around in the woods one day. We had met up and taken our bikes and parked them along the barbed wire fence where we crossed over for our day's adventure. During the hike, I let him take the lead because I knew where we were and wasn't concerned about where we went or getting lost. Oh, the days before cell phones and helicopter parenting! I had grown up in those woods and to me they were like a football field is to Tom Brady. As my friend led me through the woods, he began giving me a speech about how he was "a natural born leader" and how he was going to do great things in life. This went on for some time as I simply kept following him to see where he would take us. We had come past this certain point on that property several times from different directions as my fearless leader that day had circled around the winding trails that cattle used to meander their way through that property and make their way back to water. All the time, mind you, he kept telling me about his leadership skills and how he was going to be a great leader. Then, as we were arriving at that spot once again, he stopped in front of me. I noticed his shoulders lurched slightly forward. There was no one else around. He just froze there for a moment or two. That's when he said "I think we've been here before." And I said "this is the fourth time by my count." It must have been an immediate blow to his fragile ego as he whipped around and attempted to berate me for not having spoken up. The sun was getting low and it was time for us to head back to the spot where we left our bikes so we could make it back home for supper. So he told me "if you're so smart then lead us back to our bikes" and that's exactly what I did. I still laugh about that story to this very day and it seems to me it's time to make a phone call to check in with my fearless leader to see what he's up to these days before we get too old and decrepit. The moral to this little story is to always know what you're getting involved in especially if you take the back seat and follow someone else's lead. Sometimes those who claim to be leaders are fairly obtuse and aren't exactly the most knowledgeable as they pretend to lead you through the maze and fog of their own mind. Sometimes those who claim to be leaders are merely talking about their ego. You will find that there aren't many people following them but sometimes it's interesting to watch anyway. I call it cheap entertainment.
@@littlemochi1109 and that for higher-up .If you did that in school(smile less ,no eyes contact while other talking) everyone would see you as emo or edgy kid who had problems or anxiety .And smile unconsciously lift your mood ,make you happy ,thus appear more confidence .For beginner, smiling less would be more troublesome than anything(dont smile>people assume you had problem or in bad mood>people stay away from you>lose opportunity for networking) And for leader ,I wouldnt say they dont smile ,they smirk or lips a little upward .
The quality of a natural leaders are those Who just radiates with an authority presence. The one that lifts and teaches others, the one that takes responsibility even if eveything goes south. The one that’s strong enough to be gentle.
She is 100% right and practical. Try being submissive to someone, and see the result in return. All 'comment in against to this video' are very true for conceptually great world. Today's world is high competitive and people don't trust to allow subordinates and peers stand equal - taking as threat. We all do many natural behaviors day in and out, try observing every end of day and you will find most of the time it was not good and pleasant to peer and subordinates...think why?.............because domination, push back, knowledge driven hard words...all are side effect of distrust and tough competition. We know its bad...both for a person and a organization...but this is how it is going...to keep surviving.
Sorry I don't necessarily agree with her views. Yes from a wolf's pack or primal behavior sure. But when it being a leader that actually acts on proper leadership listen more then they would try to dominate the space. Time is money sure this could be an argument nevertheless it does make the person a better leader as a whole.
Chris Hirschmann subconscious habits, like I do the not look at you when you speak and the interrupt but I have ADD. I still pay attention and heard everything but I tend to look around for something to grab my attention.
She's not really saying that these examples are morally right for leaders to display--she even mentioned that leaders shouldn't interrupt. It's just that these are what psychology studies show. In group discussions, the person who is most knowledgeable on the given subject, or who is placed in an arbitrary position of power, will display these behaviors.
Thanks. We are not wolves, we are primates. While some of the behavioral aspects are similar, we do operate differently because the human language (even physical) is very complex. I think we should also keep in mind emotional intelligence when listening and communicating really works well in our society.
*I disagree with the idea that leaders smile less… * If the leader is only engaging in eye contact when he is talking but not looking when I’m talking that may come off as in being flaky. * Basically, leaders come in all different packages. Thanks for sharing.
@@ObsidiaBeast it's about body language, not your role in society. It's been difficult for me to find work coming out of college, so when I go to networking events, which is regularly, I like to use body language to signal high status. It's a way of appearing important even if you aren't important. If you want people to think you're a leader even though they don't know you, then use the body language. I actually use this to get over my anxiety in crowds. For instance, I never walk on the sides, always through the middle. When entering a room, if I feel nervous I will walk to the middle of the room where I am most exposed, then I'll stand there with a powerful stance. This gives me authority in the eyes of those who WILL see me. In fact I can get away with a lot using confident and alpha body language. The point is that you don't have to be important to look important. Confidence in your body language will translate to real world confidence. You don't have to fake confidence. Those who know what they're doing or know what they do will usually use the same body language, so you might as well do it too, just to signal your own confidence.
Thank you for the content, Vanesssa. Muhammad, Peace and Blessing be upon him, was ranked as the most influential man in history by historian Michael Hart (Hart,1978). He taught that smiling is an act of charity and he smiled a lot. You're also smiling a lot and about half a million people have subscribed to listen to you. I say keep smiling and review those findings :)
These qualities do not sound like those of a leader who could use their charisma to get people to buy into their ideas or follow them, but rather someone with positional power who uses their authority to get people moving.
True leaders lead like All Might, they inspire you with thier acts, their charisma, they spark the notion in you that responds to the call to greatness because it's in YOU the same as it is in them, and through this bond we can all become heroes, figures of light in our own lives an social circles, PLUS ULTRA ! 💪🔥
This stuff is accurate and the science backs up what Vanessa is saying but I don't think that you can put on these behaviors intentionally to BECOME a leader.
+Collinge Communication Institute Personally, I don't think you can just look at the way leaders behave and think that's how you become perceived as a leader. This stuff is so rude, the only way you'd get away with it is BECAUSE you are a leader.
I prefer to smile so my team can communicate with me without being cautious. They can voice out their opinions without intimidation. My company will benefit with good communication, interact with the team yet still set boundaries.
This is quite interesting. Thought-provoking. It seems to me (for what it's worth) that Vanessa is really on to something. HOWEVER, a true charismatic (it seems to me, upon meditating on these fascinating insights) follows her or his inner vision, and makes hir own rules. And somehow, it is the psychic power of that inner vision that is communicated and attracts others. Undoubtedly there are different types, or levels(?) of leaders. Thank you VVE for your insights!
My belief is that every person is a leader. Firstly as an MBA graduate I understand that there are different types and styles of leadership of which when tailored to each person can motivate them to become leaders also. This is a process that takes time. Secondly, God is a genius that man himself cannot fathom. Therefore, because he made man I believe he has skillfully designed us (Psalm 139:13-14) with specific/several gifts, that when discovered, people tend to think that it is so special so they deem that person a leader! But, in fact that is God’s own so we should give him the glory! Thirdly, no one is better than the other. Controlling others and bad manners are obnoxious, sick and hurtful. As a matter of reference Jesus stated in Matthew 20:26 "before you become a leader you must be a servant" so give this some real thought and you would be amazed. For me, I can only understand leadership first when I seek God (by studying his word and understanding it). Why? God is a leader. When I do that I truly and realistically learn to be humble, to love, serve and appreciate others. Therefore, I believe that when we seek God we would all eventually become leaders (God manifesting in us) in an individual special way- as was intended by God.
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I like the fact that this talk was more about how to stand up against a leader and diffuse his/her charisma by exploiting And appropriately countering his/her behaviour. And i'm confused why people in the comment section are so angry and apprehensive and adamant about it? She has just enumerated the traits that are commonly observed in leaders and most of them are disposed by a leader intutively and Unconsciously. We should remember that One can be an approachable and inclusive leader while showing these traits. It's not like having these behavioural traits makes a person narcissistic.
True, all these behaviors come natural when feeling powerful. I look to the side when someone speaks to me, I'm still listening but have a need to look what else is going on in the room. Most people are ok with it, few stop talking and think I'm rude. I also don't smile to be polite, polite is fake, I'm nice in my own way :). And yes I interrupt often, not because I want to, there is a short silence and when I start to speak, others start as well but I just continue when I notice everyone is focused on me.
Absolutely right. From kerala wehave a great leader who is actually the role model for the whole world. He is mr. Pinarayi Vijayan. He is our chief minister. He leads the recent war against the corona virus and could succeed a lot
1. What do leaders do? a) smile more? b) smile less? A: Smile less but ... 2. What do leaders do? a) interrupt b) don't interrupt? A: interrupt. What is interesting ... 3. What do leaders do? a) Hold eye contact more? b) Hole eye contact less? A: more when they are talking to you & less when you are talking to them ... eye contact breeds trust ... 4. What do leaders do? a) Pace? b) Stand still? A: typically stand still ... they move very purposefully like a large bear who conserves energy; they tend to be the stillest in the room ... move purposefully 5. What do leaders do? a) Nod as you speak? b) Hold their head still as you speak? A: Still and proud
Under all events that will proceed regardless of what or how humans interact with tide and time observing is a vital tool to quickly learn your surroundings at all times as were engaging alone and especially among others. If you interrupt make certain you have given effort to observe and speak with clarity in truth where others will also become aware of what you are asserting firmly, use no anger yet never whisper in front of or behind anyone. Be heard once and baroque. Blessed is for now and evermore would live.
Firstly, a boss and a leader are different, secondly part of being a good leader is learning how to be a good follower of your followers, sometimes you don't always have the answers so you should not always interrupt subordinates, you should also know how to listen to your followers and then decide which one has the best idea.
Vanessa Van Edwards is charismatic because she's white, relatively attractive, relaxed, and bubbly. And she pays attention to her outfits, hair, makeup, and accessories. Her clothes are flattering, in current and nice styles. She wears nice jewelry. Her hair always looks great. Her eyes are fairly big. People are drawn to bigger eyes.
Vanessa Van Edwards is amazing. However, the characteristics of the person/“leader” she is describing matches a rude person more than a “leader” to me. Interrupts and doesn’t look at people when they are speaking. The leader doesn’t smile. And to top it off he/she tries to impose his/her power in the room through body language. What do you guys think?
This is leadership in highly competitive environments. This is not ideal for roles where such as sales and marketing where the customer's cooperation is needed to close the deal.
These traits are dependent on the context of the conversation, the relationship of the speakers, and the setting of the conversation. Many variables, many personalities, so formulas and labels are not that simple. Communication is complex.
In the Army... .. A "leader" inspires those appointed under them. .. A "boss" is just someone with rank that dictates to those appointed under them. Inspiration over dictatorship every time gets the mission completed while looking out for the welfare of those appointed under them.
Intuitively, we pick up on someone's ability to lead. We pick up on their level of testosterone, how they carry themselves, & how they interact, all of which play a part.
I'm seeing so many bad comments here, but i have actually witnessed these exact qualities in the people around me who r leaders, I've even realised that i have become very submissive and that's why i have not been as charismatic as i would like to be........kudos to Ms. Vanessa! :D ty for sharing!! ^_^
people are just in DENIAL & ashamed of themselves for being submissive & passive and are simply disagreeing with SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH DATA to give themselves an excuse and to make themselves feel better. What this lady said is spot on!!
It's science, it doesn't matter if you agree or disagree. She's talking about psychology studies, although she doesn't specifically cite any, but you can look them up on google scholar.
It depends. My father in law is a decisive cut you off type leader my beta mother inlaw is a smiling directive type leader who smiles more. I don't smile as much as my husband and I'm the leader of the house. I personally think it's creepy if someone smiles to much. Seems like they are fake
I would rather this is an executive form of leadership , you've just have described here. We need to consider leadership personalities too, every leader is a combination of 4 personalities which determine how they act and that depends on 2 traits that are most dominant However you done a great job.
She has a leader's voice! Very strong and comanding. I imagine if she had the so called "feminine voice" (high pitched and quiet) that she would not be taken as seriously...
1.because she's on their show..u don't try to dominate a king in his own castle (so to speak), not a good strategy (48 laws of power #1 never outshine the master) 2. She came on the show to talk about Body Language of Leaders...everyone will expect her to try to be dominant...that might put them in defense mode.. the other lady was slightly in defense mode. Vanessa's body language was saying "im making u comfortable..im a friend..take your guard down". she never directly disagreed with the guy even when he was dead wrong in his answers, lol. that should already tell u what energy she came with.
Here's what she doesn't tell. You can't micromanage body language, it originates in your mind. If you just consciously do these behaviors she talks about you will look like a jackass.You gotta go to the source which is how powerful you -feel-.
Well she has to sell the book. I don't think everyone can be like this. Maybe genetics play a role? I was a nice kid, but impossible to control. I didn't accept authority. My parents wanted me to listen them just because they are parents.
TheSinisterPress, partly true, however think about this: when you open up your body, e.g. spread your arms out, sit up straight, look up, your testosterone level actually goes up. Smiling also puts people into a better mood. Try it, if you are in a terrible mood, try smiling for a solid minute as you think of happy or funny things. Now don't you feel better or at least neutral? Fact is, our body position tells our body what to think, and our thoughts tell our body what to do. If you can 'consciously' move body position into the happy/relaxed/powerful/confident position, your body tells your brain to be that way. breath control also tells your brain all is well. Hope this info is useful to someone out there!
I disagree with what she is saying. Perhaps, it will be helpful if she can distinguish a boss from a leader. Her points are based on external qualities... Being a leader has nothing to do external qualities ( smiling, strong voice etc..)... Internal qualities define a leader... Internal qualities I am talking about are; love, patience, long-suffering etc... Again, I think leaders are ambitious people. How someone act(external qualities) can be influenced by culture, environmet and others ... As an example, we can expect a leader from Russia to smile less, from Africa to smile more...It doesn't mean if you smile more you are not a born leader...
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Find out more in our full article on this topic: www.scienceofpeople.com/leadership/
Interesting, someone can try to be what they're not, but a real authentic person will nearly always notice fake people. To be authentic = knowing who and what you are in life, without really trying. Trying to be what's expected from the society's game of power, to try and intimidate others is only a game. A true authentic person cannot be influenced or intimidated easily. Namaste 🙏
God bless you always. I continue learning🙏🌷with you
Hi, this is amazing..!
sorry to be so off topic but does anyone know a tool to get back into an Instagram account?
I somehow lost my password. I would love any assistance you can offer me!
@Byron Harlem Instablaster ;)
1- smile less
2- Interrupt (accidentally because everyone naturally pays attention to them)
3- Hold eye contact more when they're speaking to you but hold eye contact less when you're talking
4- Stand still, move very purposely
5- Hold their heads still, they don't nod
I literally ALWAYS give a like to people who summarize videos. Thank you so much my friend. You are a saint.
All of them are nonsensical factors. There leaders that may not exhibit all these
Good job servant! Jk 😛
@@mlnrvera6173 no, she's right
this summary (very on point by the way) made me laugh. I mean, is this supposed to be a good thing? confusing. looks like a remedy to appear robotic and controlling, a recipe to make you very uncomfortable. hmmmm I think the 50's are behind us.
True leaders are confident, smile, actively listen and engage with their team. They lead by example and treat others as they would want to be treated. It's not about power. It's about gaining trust by being a real and down to earth person. I get positive feedback from those I lead on a regular basis. I would never want to lead by intimidation or power tripping. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the video even if I disagree.
U r right
You are a great leader. in a couple other comments I also tried to say the same thing, but feel I came across as judging the messenger. I didn't mean to. but I feel so strongly and you summed it up very nicely. I also lead teams in the past and was only well-received when I followed your advice!!! I started out as you say, then was told to change, and I tried but it felt horrible and was not useful. then i went back to your way. When asked by "management' why I "included my two team members" in my talk, I laughed and said "women tend to lead by cooperation and inclusion, and it works very effectively for them." wink wink. I think that 'boss' understood and maytbe changed his monovision.
Thank you so much! That means alot to me.
It has nothing to do with intimidation. You are assuming seriousness equals hostility and missing a lot of dynamics. Trust and respect doesn't need to be built on smiles and compliance.
@@wolfparkour
Indeed...
There is a difference between being rude and being a leader... try to smile less, stare at people when you talk to them and look away when they talk back to you, stand still, and never nod your head during any conversation, I promise you that you will find everyone left you and you got nobody but your own ego to lead.
I agree. These behaviors are not desirable
@@Blackplague689 You must be a flake.
I didn't get it can someone explain me?
Harvey specter hate you 😂
Difficult people hate this kind of boss.😅
Body Language of Leaders
1. They smile less.
>smiling signals subordination
2. They interrupt. (but)
> when they speak/interrupt people naturally quiet down
3. They hold eye contact. (but)
> they hold eye contact more when speaking to you, and less when being speaked to
4. They stay still, don't pace.
> they observe and only move purposely
And 5. They hold their head still when talking to you, don't nod.
> nodding, like smiling, signals subordination.
thank me later boiz
Law D. Klimt haha ur funny fella
That's body language of people who want to have things their way. Just because you are socially polite does not mean you subordinate.
Hahaha....
Yes... her description surprisingly matches with that of Kim Jong Un's!!!
Law D. Klimt y
heads up for females: as a professional research scientist I did all the leadership things covered in this video (smiled less, moved less, and stood still, looked away,) and was always told I was too serious and harsh; I was told to instead smile, move, look in eye, and nod to show i understood and was paying attention. this video is just for men. women have different rules/needs because the masses still see women as different. just saying.
True...but even men who do these things are actually considered rude.
@@popopopa1719 I hear you!!
@@popopopa1719 pff....it depends on how masculine or macho the culture is you re navigating in. compare north european versus south european men or leadership culture and you know what i mean
Women are NOT leaders. Name one female that we can all agree is a leader.
"A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep"
-Tywin Lannister
I was in the start of the conversation... a lion does not concern abt smile less or smile more 😅
But serious respect to the humble knowledge given
The only opinion a lion wants to see from a sheep is fear!
Especially when a arrow in shot into the heart of the lion.
Bullshit analogy. You won't be a lion. Leaders LISTEN like thieves.
Many ppl want to lead, very few want to serve. The key to being a "good, productive" leader is to serve. God bless. Look at Moses. Look at Jesus.
God bless you 🙏
Totally agree
Very true the greatest among you shall be a servant to all and that what makes great leaders.
Yes.
Agreed.
The characteristics she mentioned may sound rude or un-leader but I agree with her. The leaders may appear very friendly and very accommodating when they interact with the people who are in the very low ranks but what Vanessa said is typical behaviors when these leaders interact with fellow leaders. This really happens in meetings attended exclusively by CEO to AVP level only (no managers and below allowed) as they discuss a new business acquisition, implementation of new business models, partnering with vendors, spending millions and billions of dollars, and other high-level discussions.
I can't imagine a CEO of a company nodding excessively while someone in the boardroom is talking about business expansion. But I would expect him to smile a lot during company events or during RnRs.
If you come across the SVP of your company in the hallway smiling from ear to ear at you, then you probably are not even a senior manager. Also if you smile softly at someone who is at a low rank and you barely know the person, then you must be at the same level as that person.
Surprisingly everything she said seems inherent in a leader and is not done consciously. I have met leaders from the US, Aus, India, and Philippines and they all seem to speak the same body language during high-level business meetings especially when hundreds of millions of dollars is involved as a result of the discussion.
Thanks, Vanessa, for this. I should connect with you on LinkedIn
-Leadership Development Manager
Inspite of the different comments here.. I think that she is absolutely right. When I was held in a leadership role before .. I was not taken seriously by others... Now I know why
Micro bosses do not smile, great leaders smile and transmit their charisma to their audience.
Agree!
Not necessarily, jacinda ardern smiles all the time, but lies pour out her mouth..
yezzz
poor introvert
There are different types of leaders. I think she talking about the bossy ones.
Nelson Mandela was a great leader, and he smiled day in and day out....
No like a dominate leader
+Makiaveliiste O It was a artificial leader maked by media left political to advance communism on South AFrica. A passive artificial leader.
Yeah I would say this list is more of dominate leaders
He smiled a lot in public, but less so in meetings and direct interaction with subordinates or peers.
Laurence Jones Nelson Mandela was a dominant leader you idiot! You must of just crawled out from other a rock
A big difference I've noticed in how well people respond to me has happened just by changing 2 things...the tonality, or timbre, of my voice, and keeping my head still while talking to people
So true. When I speak a bit deeper and slower people respond so differently.
The best leaders are leaders who make you feel comfortable. I do look people in the eye much more when speaking than I’m spoken to. If someone taps my elbow to get my focus on them it’s fine, but if they stop the conversation every time I don’t make eye contact that’s being selfish, and will definitely bring it up
Thank you for the video. Although this is a 7yo video the time I wrote this comment, I assume many is still watching it.
Therefore, I would give a small comment here from a strong and successful leader:
Body language is not about being stronger/weaker or more/less serious person. It is about COMMUNICATION. Depending where you work and who you lead, you have to use the right body language. For example: a military "leader" would use less body language but more of voice tone manipulation. While a sport team leader would use body language plus voice tone. A motivational leader would use so much of body language, voice manipulation that fit the topic.
So in general, there is not a rule-of-thump for how a leader should speak to people. Otherwise, many leaders that exist today should be not considered meeting the specs :)
Leaders with HIGH EQ rather than high testosterone have traits that connect with and respect others.
Accurate Body Language, LLC that’s true
You obviously don’t know shit about shit if you posted that statement. You’re implying that submissive behaviors are helpful for somebody in the role of a boss. They’re not. They might make people like you more, but liking someone and respecting someone are two different things. I agree that a boss should do just enough occasional smiling or joking to be somewhat likable/not hated, but they need to maintain the aura of a boss. Otherwise, nobody’s going to respect them and do their job properly
I bet you have a low "IQ" lol
Nobody cares if you like them or not you obviously lack leadership. It's lonely at the top only respect matters. I've known people with high authority and respect is respect love NEVER gets the job done. Nor religion and that's coming from a catholic...
@@charlesg7926
Lols. The irony of the first line in your tirade is nothing less than phenomenal!
Way to go boss man
I strongly resonated with the last one ‘quit nodding.’ I did this earlier today while having conversation with my Director. I felt myself being subordinate for a moment. That is something that never comes easy for me. I immediately knew I should stop nodding as if everythin she said was right
I've been established as a leader somewhere, and I'm fully confident in my ability to do the job. It's a challenge, but challenges help us grow, I will keep moving forward and be a great leader! ♐
🦁♌️
Leaders must be smile, but some time not to smile to keep seriousness of things, so it depends on situation
Many of these qualities depend on the context/situation in which they are done.
Never smiling seems to be black/white thinking.
On the other hand, compulsively smiling to please others or soothe one's self in social situations is also an example of black/white thinking.
I have personally found that being direct/straightforward while remaining compassionate (not soft) is the most prominent quality of a leader since the leader's role is to level up those around him.
At times, a tough hand is needed to improve others. The intent is not to make them self conscious or overpower them however.
At times, it pays to do the submissive behaviors. It ingratiates a leader to you, especially if you are trying to build trust in a new position as their employee. I stared and nodded in Econ in college the whole class, every class. My professor would let me retake a test or do work for extra credit because he appreciated how much I was paying attention. There’s a time and place for each behavior. Letting someone know you look up to them by being submissive may be a great idea if that’s the actual dynamic.
When I was a kid, there was a large piece of property just outside of our subdivision of homes. It was wooded and had a few tanks (man made ponds for those who might be confused) on the property.
It was our playground at least for those of us who were more adventurous than merely sitting around watching TV. We even had more than our fair share of battles on that property involving bb guns and homemade hand grenades.
Out of the corp group of us kids, one of us is a nuclear physicist, one is a police officer, one is a marine and one is a serial entrepreneur. We all took very different paths from our childhood days but that's another story all together.
There were other players in our wooded adventure land that has long since been turned into a giant shopping mall. One of those other friends and I were out hiking around in the woods one day.
We had met up and taken our bikes and parked them along the barbed wire fence where we crossed over for our day's adventure. During the hike, I let him take the lead because I knew where we were and wasn't concerned about where we went or getting lost.
Oh, the days before cell phones and helicopter parenting! I had grown up in those woods and to me they were like a football field is to Tom Brady.
As my friend led me through the woods, he began giving me a speech about how he was "a natural born leader" and how he was going to do great things in life.
This went on for some time as I simply kept following him to see where he would take us.
We had come past this certain point on that property several times from different directions as my fearless leader that day had circled around the winding trails that cattle used to meander their way through that property and make their way back to water.
All the time, mind you, he kept telling me about his leadership skills and how he was going to be a great leader.
Then, as we were arriving at that spot once again, he stopped in front of me. I noticed his shoulders lurched slightly forward. There was no one else around. He just froze there for a moment or two.
That's when he said "I think we've been here before." And I said "this is the fourth time by my count."
It must have been an immediate blow to his fragile ego as he whipped around and attempted to berate me for not having spoken up. The sun was getting low and it was time for us to head back to the spot where we left our bikes so we could make it back home for supper.
So he told me "if you're so smart then lead us back to our bikes" and that's exactly what I did. I still laugh about that story to this very day and it seems to me it's time to make a phone call to check in with my fearless leader to see what he's up to these days before we get too old and decrepit.
The moral to this little story is to always know what you're getting involved in especially if you take the back seat and follow someone else's lead.
Sometimes those who claim to be leaders are fairly obtuse and aren't exactly the most knowledgeable as they pretend to lead you through the maze and fog of their own mind. Sometimes those who claim to be leaders are merely talking about their ego.
You will find that there aren't many people following them but sometimes it's interesting to watch anyway. I call it cheap entertainment.
Smile less? That is just stupid. Don't waste your life trying for any reason to "smile less". EVERYONE SHOULD SMILE MORE!! 😃
Ashton Colby you are clearly no leader
😀
@@sylvesterhurt3502 yeah smile more. but if you want people to take you seriously sometimes you need to look serious.
@@littlemochi1109 and that for higher-up .If you did that in school(smile less ,no eyes contact while other talking) everyone would see you as emo or edgy kid who had problems or anxiety .And smile unconsciously lift your mood ,make you happy ,thus appear more confidence .For beginner, smiling less would be more troublesome than anything(dont smile>people assume you had problem or in bad mood>people stay away from you>lose opportunity for networking)
And for leader ,I wouldnt say they dont smile ,they smirk or lips a little upward .
"Beta" people use the terms "Alpha" and "Beta".
The quality of a natural leaders are those Who just radiates with an authority presence. The one that lifts and teaches others, the one that takes responsibility even if eveything goes south. The one that’s strong enough to be gentle.
She is 100% right and practical.
Try being submissive to someone, and see the result in return.
All 'comment in against to this video' are very true for conceptually great world. Today's world is high competitive and people don't trust to allow subordinates and peers stand equal - taking as threat.
We all do many natural behaviors day in and out, try observing every end of day and you will find most of the time it was not good and pleasant to peer and subordinates...think why?.............because domination, push back, knowledge driven hard words...all are side effect of distrust and tough competition.
We know its bad...both for a person and a organization...but this is how it is going...to keep surviving.
Smile and the world smiles with you thank you
Sorry I don't necessarily agree with her views. Yes from a wolf's pack or primal behavior sure. But when it being a leader that actually acts on proper leadership listen more then they would try to dominate the space. Time is money sure this could be an argument nevertheless it does make the person a better leader as a whole.
Chris Hirschmann subconscious habits, like I do the not look at you when you speak and the interrupt but I have ADD. I still pay attention and heard everything but I tend to look around for something to grab my attention.
She's not really saying that these examples are morally right for leaders to display--she even mentioned that leaders shouldn't interrupt. It's just that these are what psychology studies show. In group discussions, the person who is most knowledgeable on the given subject, or who is placed in an arbitrary position of power, will display these behaviors.
Thanks. We are not wolves, we are primates. While some of the behavioral aspects are similar, we do operate differently because the human language (even physical) is very complex. I think we should also keep in mind emotional intelligence when listening and communicating really works well in our society.
This was for a boss not a leader I guess
true.For leadership quality.First you should be a good listener. without communication skills and knowledge you're Nothng.
*I disagree with the idea that leaders smile less…
* If the leader is only engaging in eye contact when he is talking but not looking when I’m talking that may come off as in being flaky.
* Basically, leaders come in all different packages. Thanks for sharing.
A lot of leaders are humble nodding smiling...you described a bossy boss , gorlfriend
They were both right about the pacing. Leaders never pace in public, but it helps them think like he was indicating.
This is a boss behavior. Not a leader
Jail stand over tactics.
True.
Real leaders know of the power of persuasion and manipulation.
So this Video, and maybe even her book, are completely worthless.
@@ObsidiaBeast it's about body language, not your role in society. It's been difficult for me to find work coming out of college, so when I go to networking events, which is regularly, I like to use body language to signal high status. It's a way of appearing important even if you aren't important. If you want people to think you're a leader even though they don't know you, then use the body language. I actually use this to get over my anxiety in crowds. For instance, I never walk on the sides, always through the middle. When entering a room, if I feel nervous I will walk to the middle of the room where I am most exposed, then I'll stand there with a powerful stance. This gives me authority in the eyes of those who WILL see me. In fact I can get away with a lot using confident and alpha body language. The point is that you don't have to be important to look important. Confidence in your body language will translate to real world confidence. You don't have to fake confidence. Those who know what they're doing or know what they do will usually use the same body language, so you might as well do it too, just to signal your own confidence.
Their language food great leaders
That's true
Thank you for the content, Vanesssa. Muhammad, Peace and Blessing be upon him, was ranked as the most influential man in history by historian Michael Hart (Hart,1978). He taught that smiling is an act of charity and he smiled a lot. You're also smiling a lot and about half a million people have subscribed to listen to you. I say keep smiling and review those findings :)
👌👍🙌
These qualities do not sound like those of a leader who could use their charisma to get people to buy into their ideas or follow them, but rather someone with positional power who uses their authority to get people moving.
True leaders lead like All Might, they inspire you with thier acts, their charisma, they spark the notion in you that responds to the call to greatness because it's in YOU the same as it is in them, and through this bond we can all become heroes, figures of light in our own lives an social circles, PLUS ULTRA ! 💪🔥
This stuff is accurate and the science backs up what Vanessa is saying but I don't think that you can put on these behaviors intentionally to BECOME a leader.
+Collinge Communication Institute Personally, I don't think you can just look at the way leaders behave and think that's how you become perceived as a leader. This stuff is so rude, the only way you'd get away with it is BECAUSE you are a leader.
I prefer to smile so my team can communicate with me without being cautious. They can voice out their opinions without intimidation. My company will benefit with good communication, interact with the team yet still set boundaries.
Forgot all this stuff just read How To Win Friends and Influence People ! Job done ✅
I'm reading that book :-)
This video made 2014, maybe at that time it's work.
But, now days it's change.
I still learn something from this video, thank to Vanessa
This is quite interesting. Thought-provoking. It seems to me (for what it's worth) that Vanessa is really on to something. HOWEVER, a true charismatic (it seems to me, upon meditating on these fascinating insights) follows her or his inner vision, and makes hir own rules. And somehow, it is the psychic power of that inner vision that is communicated and attracts others. Undoubtedly there are different types, or levels(?) of leaders. Thank you VVE for your insights!
My belief is that every person is a leader.
Firstly as an MBA graduate I understand that there are different types and styles of leadership of which when tailored to each person can motivate them to become leaders also. This is a process that takes time.
Secondly, God is a genius that man himself cannot fathom. Therefore, because he made man I believe he has skillfully designed us (Psalm 139:13-14) with specific/several gifts, that when discovered, people tend to think that it is so special so they deem that person a leader! But, in fact that is God’s own so we should give him the glory!
Thirdly, no one is better than the other. Controlling others and bad manners are obnoxious, sick and hurtful. As a matter of reference Jesus stated in Matthew 20:26 "before you become a leader you must be a servant" so give this some real thought and you would be amazed.
For me, I can only understand leadership first when I seek God (by studying his word and understanding it). Why? God is a leader. When I do that I truly and realistically learn to be humble, to love, serve and appreciate others. Therefore, I believe that when we seek God we would all eventually become leaders (God manifesting in us) in an individual special way- as was intended by God.
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I like the fact that this talk was more about how to stand up against a leader and diffuse his/her charisma by exploiting And appropriately countering his/her behaviour.
And i'm confused why people in the comment section are so angry and apprehensive and adamant about it?
She has just enumerated the traits that are commonly observed in leaders and most of them are disposed by a leader intutively and Unconsciously.
We should remember that One can be an approachable and inclusive leader while showing these traits. It's not like having these behavioural traits makes a person narcissistic.
True, all these behaviors come natural when feeling powerful.
I look to the side when someone speaks to me, I'm still listening but have a need to look what else is going on in the room.
Most people are ok with it, few stop talking and think I'm rude.
I also don't smile to be polite, polite is fake, I'm nice in my own way :).
And yes I interrupt often, not because I want to, there is a short silence and when I start to speak, others start as well but I just continue when I notice everyone is focused on me.
Absolutely right. From kerala wehave a great leader who is actually the role model for the whole world. He is mr. Pinarayi Vijayan. He is our chief minister. He leads the recent war against the corona virus and could succeed a lot
1. What do leaders do? a) smile more? b) smile less? A: Smile less but ...
2. What do leaders do? a) interrupt b) don't interrupt? A: interrupt. What is interesting ...
3. What do leaders do? a) Hold eye contact more? b) Hole eye contact less? A: more when they are talking to you & less when you are talking to them ... eye contact breeds trust ...
4. What do leaders do? a) Pace? b) Stand still? A: typically stand still ... they move very purposefully like a large bear who conserves energy; they tend to be the stillest in the room ... move purposefully
5. What do leaders do? a) Nod as you speak? b) Hold their head still as you speak? A: Still and proud
Under all events that will proceed regardless of what or how humans interact with tide and time
observing is a vital tool to quickly learn your surroundings at all times as were engaging alone and especially among others.
If you interrupt make certain you have given effort to observe and speak with clarity in truth where others will also become aware of what you are asserting firmly, use no anger yet never whisper in front of or behind anyone.
Be heard once and baroque.
Blessed is for now and evermore would live.
Firstly, a boss and a leader are different, secondly part of being a good leader is learning how to be a good follower of your followers, sometimes you don't always have the answers so you should not always interrupt subordinates, you should also know how to listen to your followers and then decide which one has the best idea.
You are right on point!!!!...
Vanessa Van Edwards is charismatic because she's white, relatively attractive, relaxed, and bubbly. And she pays attention to her outfits, hair, makeup, and accessories. Her clothes are flattering, in current and nice styles. She wears nice jewelry. Her hair always looks great. Her eyes are fairly big. People are drawn to bigger eyes.
Her voice is very clear pronunciation in my ears.
Vanessa Van Edwards is amazing. However, the characteristics of the person/“leader” she is describing matches a rude person more than a “leader” to me. Interrupts and doesn’t look at people when they are speaking. The leader doesn’t smile. And to top it off he/she tries to impose his/her power in the room through body language. What do you guys think?
Humberto Ramirez I think it's usually subtle amounts of these behaviours. If you're trying to get everyone to like you, you'll never be a leader
It is subtle hence most people won’t really get this.
This is leadership in highly competitive environments. This is not ideal for roles where such as sales and marketing where the customer's cooperation is needed to close the deal.
It would be interesting to see Simon Sinek and Vanessa be guests in a talkshow to talk about the same topic.
These traits are dependent on the context of the conversation, the relationship of the speakers, and the setting of the conversation. Many variables, many personalities, so formulas and labels are not that simple. Communication is complex.
You smart and you wright what you saing evry thing proud of you !!
It’s so awesome to see this video, I read the book months ago and loved it !! #captivate
Insightful video!
I love to watching you speaking it's make me so calm
Thanks for sharing!
I'd enjoy watching this. Learned a lot on improving my leader traits. ♥️
Nah darling.. I’m naturally a leader, and I disapprove of this, this is more like arrogant boss than a leader
gigi Bakir and what makes you think you’re a natural leader?
Natural leader 😎
We smile to make you comfortable
Michael Scott because I’m a capricorn
What you see a leader in USA is seen a clown in many other countries. Culture thing.
Very useful tips Miss. Vanessa
Thanks
In the Army...
.. A "leader" inspires those appointed under them.
.. A "boss" is just someone with rank that dictates to those appointed under them.
Inspiration over dictatorship every time gets the mission completed while looking out for the welfare of those appointed under them.
what a graceful personality
Intuitively, we pick up on someone's ability to lead. We pick up on their level of testosterone, how they carry themselves, & how they interact, all of which play a part.
Testosterone???
Vanessa Van Edwards I need more testes. Help bestie!😭
Her voice also helps me to be confident of my English ability.
I'm seeing so many bad comments here, but i have actually witnessed these exact qualities in the people around me who r leaders, I've even realised that i have become very submissive and that's why i have not been as charismatic as i would like to be........kudos to Ms. Vanessa! :D ty for sharing!! ^_^
people are just in DENIAL & ashamed of themselves for being submissive & passive and are simply disagreeing with SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH DATA to give themselves an excuse and to make themselves feel better. What this lady said is spot on!!
vellstorm4705 , ur wrong..what she talked about is about a boss not a leader.
I completely agree with you.
Oh! At school, inside a classroom, even though my voice is lower, my classmates will look at me whenever I talk.
I naturally do all the 5 habits even before I watched this, but why I’m still in a shitty job until today 😂
Namaste...simple but very important ...Thank you for the sharing
Kinda awkward when he made the Bill Clinton comment...."Monica".
I know I’m a leader I make sacrifices for my team anyone can be a leader if you want to be and work hard enough I disagree but appreciate the video!
i disagree ive seen lots of leaders smile
Then you've seen a lot of leaders from government positions. Those leaders will smile more out of trained habit to blend with their environment.
SonyCamry the setting matters
It's science, it doesn't matter if you agree or disagree. She's talking about psychology studies, although she doesn't specifically cite any, but you can look them up on google scholar.
But it must be genuine.
Leaders have an amused face. That's a signature face of male dominance.
All these characteristics are me. Not surprised however never labeled myself as a leader. Interesting. This was clear and helpful.
but if you smile less doesn't it make other people harder to like you? I thought happiness breeds happiness
It depends. My father in law is a decisive cut you off type leader my beta mother inlaw is a smiling directive type leader who smiles more. I don't smile as much as my husband and I'm the leader of the house. I personally think it's creepy if someone smiles to much. Seems like they are fake
I would rather this is an executive form of leadership , you've just have described here. We need to consider leadership personalities too, every leader is a combination of 4 personalities which determine how they act and that depends on 2 traits that are most dominant
However you done a great job.
She has a leader's voice! Very strong and comanding. I imagine if she had the so called "feminine voice" (high pitched and quiet) that she would not be taken as seriously...
Agree with what she says. Most successful leaders are like that..
No one is genetically born a leader, leadership is a skill that some pick up sooner at a young age. It's all in the mind.
It's wonderful, to realize this tips well as at first I had less knowledge about it.
Thank you.
leaders eat last from simon sinek watch and learn he is the best speaker on leadership
I loved it!!! It is superb
if smiling is a subordinate behavior why is she smiling herself all the time
1.because she's on their show..u don't try to dominate a king in his own castle (so to speak), not a good strategy (48 laws of power #1 never outshine the master)
2. She came on the show to talk about Body Language of Leaders...everyone will expect her to try to be dominant...that might put them in defense mode.. the other lady was slightly in defense mode.
Vanessa's body language was saying "im making u comfortable..im a friend..take your guard down".
she never directly disagreed with the guy even when he was dead wrong in his answers, lol. that should already tell u what energy she came with.
What book are you reading?
zero abol she is a woman.
She is..
zero abol not all smiling is?
I think i agree with some comments. These are more the traits of a boss than a leader.
I literally do all the opposite things. Thank you for sharing I am going to work on this.
With due respect, is it descriptions of a leader or a statue?
Thank you so much for video🌟. Good morning everyone 😊
Here's what she doesn't tell. You can't micromanage body language, it originates in your mind. If you just consciously do these behaviors she talks about you will look like a jackass.You gotta go to the source which is how powerful you -feel-.
Well she has to sell the book. I don't think everyone can be like this. Maybe genetics play a role?
I was a nice kid, but impossible to control. I didn't accept authority. My parents wanted me to listen them just because they are parents.
lol
I agree with you, plus most of these things are just things you'd do if you were arrogant, which definitely isn't something you want to copy..
You say this but many have no issues with this sort of acting
TheSinisterPress, partly true, however think about this: when you open up your body, e.g. spread your arms out, sit up straight, look up, your testosterone level actually goes up. Smiling also puts people into a better mood. Try it, if you are in a terrible mood, try smiling for a solid minute as you think of happy or funny things. Now don't you feel better or at least neutral? Fact is, our body position tells our body what to think, and our thoughts tell our body what to do. If you can 'consciously' move body position into the happy/relaxed/powerful/confident position, your body tells your brain to be that way. breath control also tells your brain all is well. Hope this info is useful to someone out there!
yOur English is so understandable!! (to not native speakers like me)
I disagree with what she is saying. Perhaps, it will be helpful if she can distinguish a boss from a leader. Her points are based on external qualities... Being a leader has nothing to do external qualities ( smiling, strong voice etc..)... Internal qualities define a leader... Internal qualities I am talking about are; love, patience, long-suffering etc... Again, I think leaders are ambitious people. How someone act(external qualities) can be influenced by culture, environmet and others ... As an example, we can expect a leader from Russia to smile less, from Africa to smile more...It doesn't mean if you smile more you are not a born leader...
Thanks! This video is great!
Outdated concept. Please update..
Exactly.
God bless you, ma'am
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I´d wach the video million times in order to see this beautiful elf, love her, and of course her siren voice
ls there a video on how two Alphas males interact?
lostgamer 1957 Wanna learn how to be a top Alpha Male?
Be Yourself!
Yh, it's called MMA 😂
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I think every Good leader is different and thats what separates them from the rest and makes them likeable
My testerone gets boosted every time i watch vanessa
Said so many good things to fallow in this video. 😎
every time I take a boss out of a comfort zone I get fired!!