Jordan Peterson - Why Is Marriage So Difficult?
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
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@ChrisWillx What's the common denominator here? "Other people!!"
Someone once asked Dr. Peterson what is a “Woman”. He replied, “Marry one and find out.” Brave man. Lol
Chuckles that's a good one
@Sophie Temps I wasn't aware that a man "cheating" on you was justifiable in asking Uncle Sam permission to take half his bank account and leave him under a bridge. Some of these guys are actually great fathers, and wouldn't just up and leave their wives for the person they had a fling with. This cannot be said the other way around, which commonly accounts to a divorce REGARDLESS.
@boz you're the only one making sense. Men who cheat are less likely to throw the entire family through the trashcan to live with their affair. We don't use our offspring as ammo against wives. Though we prob should lol more guys need custody nowadays
@@tempsoda Men will always expand whatever viable option they have outside of the arrangement, whether you like it or not, it's natural. This can not be said the other way around, which destroys said arrangement wide majority of the time. Not to mention, the respect for the man and his reputation is completely out the window.
@@tempsoda Men expanding their options outside the marital arrangement is common outside of western countries, particularly in Latin America and certain parts of Africa and Asia. This has been going on since the times of Moses and it's never really been an "equal thing with equal consequences" sorta thing. Respect is especially important for the man, because a man needs respect NOT love to lead. Nobody, including the wife, will respect a man who let's her do whatever...
No matter where "you" run off to. There "you" are.
insightful no doubt fr
Exactly right. You can't run away from yourself.
“If you fulfil your obligations every day you don’t need to worry about the future.” ~ Jordan Peterson 💪🏻🚀
I'm a huge fan of Dr. Peterson's work. And as a huge fan, I have to ask - WHO ACTUALLY DOES THIS?
@@JedClarkDavid goggins
@@The_Questionautotherwise whooooooooo's gonna carry the boatsssss
All the best things come on the other side of hardship.
Peterson is so intense by being so even tempered but clear.
It's so true, in a true marriage most of the times you should not have divorce as an option in your mind. Now people have so many options so easy to access that people don't want to fight for their marriage.
It seems it’s on the minds of 80% of filings are by women.
He looks dapper in that suit
I bet Jordan's wife is the reason for such a dapper look!
JP also talks a lot about the importance of mate selection, because this only really works if you’ve selected somebody who you consider is a fundamentally good person with sufficient common values
Been married 20+ we have built a life from poor but caring backgrounds and been through some tuff stuff! Sandy hit our new home 1 year after bought the same time our son was diagnosed with autism. Our shared pain and the knowledge that we worked through that made us unstoppable!
Through is where the good stuff is .
Perfect edit. Loving this recent style. Thank you for the effort. Feels like reviewing notes on a class taken. Thank you!
Fr perfect edit. Reminds me of when I used to be on coke
That why you should take care and time to get to know each other first
Who are these people you seem to think are just jumping into marriages?
I was paralyzed from an injury induced stroke, a little over a month before my wife and I were married. And even though I told her we did not have to go through with it...she insisted.
A few years later, she told me that she married me because, if she didn't, she thought that others would view her as a monster.
This, along with all of the other emasculating issues of being disabled, nearly broke me. I fell into a great depression and would have taken my life, if I didn't consider it a coward's way out.
Since then, my wife and I have worked out our issues...mostly. I credit Mr. Peterson, in part, to try and become a stronger man, even though I did not feel like one. I still have issues to deal with...both my wife and I do...but she didn't give up, because I didn't give up...or at least I hope.
Our connection to the sanctity of marriage, ultimately, is what I think saved our marriage. And though we still need to work things out, we will keep trying until we literally can't stand it anymore.
The physical pain I feel every day pales in comparison to the mental anguish I went through. I'll do what I can to prevent that from happening agains.
Hang in there brother 🙏
Wow, you are a very strong person. Your wife is lucky to have you!!🙏🏻
She married you to avoid personal shame Wonderful woman there 😂
@@2bituser569 This is what went through my mind, when she talked about separating. Was it all bullshit? But what you don't know is that I was not making any money.
I went back to work, against the wishes of my doctors and physical therapists, and my employer (back then) screwed me over. I should not have done so. The other injuries I sustained were made worse and I was eventually permanently disabled because of this.
It took more than 2 years, 26 specialists, and a 56 page report to convince the government that I was disabled. That's a long time to go without making money. My wife did not sign on for that.
But the point I was trying to make was, even though we had hardships, we still worked it out, and are continuing to do so today. I was not concentrating so much on why we had problems...just that it was hard to deal with.
If I had included this information to begin with, would you have seen things differently? How would you feel if the woman you were about to marry had become disabled and broke? That would not be what you signed up for, when you asked her to marry you...right? I think anyone would have second guesses. I don't fault her for thinking this, but it certainly made life more difficult...
...which is the point I was trying to making.
This is so spot on it takes my breath away…
Yes and no. We should always evaluate our behaviour, but sometimes the common denominator is literally just a cycle of trauma. I agree, a choice is being made but we shouldn’t oversimplify it when we need to remove stigma and encourage people to change and break these cycles!
Jordan seems to have found an incredibly dedicated spouse that accepts his nonstop work ethic. Most modern career women would insist on more availability
What’s wrong with wanting your spouse to be involved with you and the family you’ve built?
Well , she's always w him for the most part so......
My guy, you’re comparing his year 30 to a typical couples year 1-10 when there are bills, children and chores and usually not millions of dollars. Face your front.
Totally agree, if anyone doesn't compromise on marriage itself, which means part of yourself hasn't healed from the past.
I always say the grass "might" be greener on the other side but even there you have to mow the lawn... If you keep running off to new people without changing yourself you're going to keep running into the sale issue with different people.
I married recently. As time goes on, I've learned marriage is definitely a process of compromise, grinding, and thankless labour.
It's all worth it for my child though, and no matter how hard it gets, I'll never leave my child.
Marriage will definitely make you a more formidable person, but I can understand why many people don't want it.
Outside of religious reasons, marriage is tough to sell.
"Far better is it to have a stout heart always, and suffer one's share of evils, than to be ever fearing what may happen."
- Herodotus
I know this is edited for kids with a 0,5s attention span, but damn it is annoying
lol...the youtube "shorts" are, of course, designed to peak our curriosity and get us interested in the full episode ;)
It's a short...
The full things is well worth watching.
@@__WJK__nah. They’re not really. They’re a standalone ad money printer. I have zero interest in looking up the episode. Especially because what you get with 99% of shorts is zero source information. While writing this I don’t see whether a source is mentioned in the description but I can safely bet a good chunk of money that there’s no source link attached.
Edit: as I thought, no link to the interview. At least here you seem to get the link to the content producer himself. More than most shorts provide.
I wonder if Dr. Peterson has a book on marriage? It will really help a lot of people and families!
If he did it would be too complicted to read.. but everyone would pretend to understand it.
I'd like to hear Jordan Peterson speak about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE jn a relationship.
If you are not ready for working things out with your partner, then don't have a relationship.
No relationships no cohabitation
2022: Wise men NEVER Marry Cohabitate or Impregnate,
especially more than once,
unless they can afford to pay alimony (alt title CS) to multiple EX-Wives
Elon Musk ~10 kids 💸
Robin Williams, 3 Ex-Wives ⚰️ RIP
@@copcuffs9973that’s funny because it’s the fact opposite of what he advises lol
Yes...Combat. Forever Combat...with the saying "Fight for Love" vs. "I'm a Lover not a Fighter"....Solemn Peace & Tranquility with Solitude vs. the former antithesis. Make your choice.
It’s possible though to work on healing and improving yourself then finding a better partner. Sometimes you can’t do that healing if you stay with someone where you keep hurting each other over and over. Because one of you wants to change and grow and the other doesn’t.
Sometimes it’s ok to say “this isn’t working, I’m going to stop doing this, go do the work and then see what happens” and you find you no longer keep attracting that same problem into your life, because you learned the lesson and moved on
Great truth
The Bible also talks about this. Purified by fire.
Isaiah 48:10
Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.
1 Peter 1:7
that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
The problem with marriage is the contract and having the state get involved with your affairs and worse the pace as witch it.moves
What happens when "I can't escape from you" is used as a weapon against you?
He has always said, if there is abuse involved then leave. But people leave for far more trivial reasons the majority of the time. No fault divorce laws that Reagan implemented (his worst decision imo) dont help either.
Jordan caters to the right way to much.
@@chrissavage1449Its annoying as well, as he doesn have some expertise but now peolle are asking him about the ukraine russian war and championing whatever he says because hes k own as right wing and old values, and thats not what you shoukd be taking from him. He has some good onowledge but that dissnt validate everything he says and he often isnt saying it to be anti woke, hes just saying correlations, not what to assume.
22 years experience and mostly marriage just blows but hopefully it blows less w your best friend.
Marriage is 2people locked in combat from which there is no escape.awww😒
Plus the mindset of the only way out is death
@@OverRule1 yeah,lotta murder suicide.I think Bill Burr is gonna go out like that😳
Applied to marriage, this is perfect truth.
What about other vital relationships? ie. Parent - child.
Does applying this purification concept of going through the radical heat and pressure, painful as it can be, to any relationship?
Is it not worth temporary pain, to get through to the change to a healthy relationship? Will we not take all the unresolved disfunction on to all other relationships?
'I can't escape from you' - What a great advert for relationships
I would contend that although a common denominator could be a strong argument and I would agree, but sometimes we change during the last relationship to see that we were choosing a person that is similar to old types of abuse, and we hope for the future that we can choose a better partner in the future but the previous choice was a poor choice.
The question is can you be happy with someone who is a better fit? If you master your own unresolved hangups, I believe you can. If you fail to overcome them, you may hunger for the noise and chaos of a partner who taps into your own unresolved pain. I've been struggling with this for quite some time.
The problem is people are desperate to fit it and meet some imaginary deadline when many modern women and men are not good candidates to be parents in the first place but all their friends and relatives are doing it so I have to do it, type mentality
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 - I can totaly relate to that indirectly... I've heard both my Grandmother's say they got married for pretty much the exact reasons you mentioned. More people than not, actually justify marriage for some of the most caziest bizzare reasons... which makes absolutely no/zero sense to me.
@@__WJK__ thanks for sharing this information. More people need to share this type of information to remove the stigma which hurts men just as much as women.
What's the point of subtitles if they're scattered everywhere?!
Brilliant!
The problem with relationships is that, there's a lot of people out there who don't even know what a common denominator is.
Jordan is a really good...talker. Talk Talk Talk Talk.
Perhaps you did not bring the catastrophe to the previous relationship. And perhaps it really doesn't matter where you run to as long as you get away from that person.
Iv been cheated on twice and now don't trust women. I am the common denominator there but did as I should. Even took one to Italy to meet my family, to Rome etc but still women want a bad boy not a nice guy. So even though this is true in part, I think its wrong to say this in a general sense because it implies men should accommodate for bad ideas or maybe its just me again for not recognising a bad woman... twice. Either may my life changed immeasurably when I stopped chasing tail.
Some men choose women who are not mentally stable. Also some have hard time with their self esteem, taking more sh*t than they should. Maybe the initial red flags were missed. 1% are neurodivergent (difficulties with recognizing lying etc). Some had bad parents, so they are used to bad treatment.
No-fault instant divorces mean that we don't have to fix ourselves, just bail.
So true
No. You leave the person.
Exactly. If you critically examine the previous failed relationships what do they all have in common, you.
I assume that was the real meaning of Alchemy and the Philosopher's Stone... to turn base metals into Gold. Not physical, but mental and spiritual Gold.
See the marital combat of the medieval pairs - one is bound in a hole,
the other has a weight in a sack to bludgeon with, and all the freedom to approach from any direction.
There is always a fire between - attracting and repulsing both
So many young women need to hear this message.
I still want to dive into the mysterious adventures of marriage one day.
You’re in a relationship with Jesus Christ your Lord and Saviour, I doubt there’s room for anyone else. Lol
"Mysterious" indeed!
@@AmeliaBodilia that's why you shouldn't doubt, have faith.
@@__WJK__ 👍
After 10 years of marriage experience, I tell young people all the time to avoid any thought about marriage. It's a pointless adventure. I will never do it again.
Chris, please turn off all the flashing texts and emojis on the video. Your content is so interesting but these flashing texts are distracting from the message. Thanks! 😊
For most people every relationship prioir to the marriage will have failed. Why will the marriage be any different. The vows are meaningless when you can divorce. Marriage is a bad idea all around.
Marriage as a solution for growth has gone out of the window a long time ago. If you get left behind (and it happens a lot) not only you are bound to lose your self respect and the community of friends you have built together but also, thanks to absurd laws, your money, most probably your house and eventual children. This is one thing where I disagree with Dr. Peterson. Once divorce was made legal it opened the way for justified wanton desires. I'm not saying everyone takes advantage of the system but divorce is so ingrained in our culture that one is seen as brave for walking away for no reason other than boredom.
The best thing about marriage is that you get to face the struggles of life with someone who is your ally.
I'm sorry, but in my experience marriage is actually adversarial. I tell as many young people as possible to avoid marriage at all cost.
Until you get divorce graped.
Bullshit.
Marriage is off the table. Living together is as well. and to f*ck all - so is long term dating. Completely not interested.
I've got heat. bring the pressure. And Heaven did.
Walk five flight o'family cannot afford
designed &built stair flight
shower with no shirt on 🐿
No hot water for the dogs neighbours
Side door into garage elevator down few lévél si vous plâis 🇨🇦
"There's no out" - yeah, and thats where you're mistaken. Its called divorce, and theres plenty of it these days and you don't even need a reason anymore. lol
“Be conservative”
J. Peterson
An ex of mine once said- every one of my exes has seen me nude. I’m starting to think I’m the problem. She was the problem. Her body, on the other hand, most definitely was not.
I have no idea what you mean? What are you talking about?
I came to this conclusion after my divorce. I then closely examined all my life's relationships and found the source and cut it out. It was me. So I walked away from everyone. The entire lot. Family, friends, job.
I kept 2 people close. Have no contact with everyone else. I'm a few years in and have never been happier. I live my life as I choose (budget allows) but I m done with Men and relationships. I attract bad men. I work at being my best self. Solo is golden
You choose bad men. That’s something that a lot of women don’t want to admit…it’s all about the choices we make when mate selecting. I guarantee they didn’t force you to copulate with them… choose better men but most women don’t…poor choices leads to terrible results
The system runs the marriage.
The problem is there is nothing that benefits in a marriage. It’s all pitfalls and landmines. Ever since the woman needed her career, the fact is that taking the women out of home was worst thing we ever did
Yes and no… I believe they’re are benefits…
Damn bro. Really telling on yourself here 😂
“The only time women would want to date me is if they had to to survive financially.”
If you really think a woman getting a job makes you obsolete as partner you’ve always been pathetic.
@@leer6871 It’s a fact that women’s financial independence has made marriage obsolete to some degree; that’s not an indictment of men so much as a statement about men’s societal function as providers. Statistics don’t lie; even high earning women who could support an entire family alone require prospective male partners to make even more than they do, which is one reason why both genders are becoming increasingly alone.
I don't know for sure, but perhaps part time work was the best fit for the happiness of husbands and wives. Both get to experience different aspects of life. Home, family, work, friendship. Both get to feel utility and get a sense of respect and progression within a competence hierarchy. Most importantly the two don't compete with one another and you avoid the unhappiness that is often produced by a wife out earning her husband. Neither seem to be happy in that arrangement
@@roslynsanders7755hey man.
It is not a “societal shift away from men as primary breadwinners” that happened decades before you were born. What’s happening is an increase in selectiveness in women after a generation of not needing men to survive.
What you are essentially lamenting is women having options. Women don’t need to settle. They can be more selective and chose a man who is kind and respectful. This is a net positive for society as it creates kinder and more respectful family units while increasing the overall level of productiveness.
Many realize they are the problem and are not pairing material. They Hook up.
📜 🦋
one&light turn unknown colour
up&through the elevated started yo' quickly back in Amen²
looked for tools to remove enhine&transmission V6 masseratima§ter w/twin
Amen
Explains why the sacred nature of the marital institution is crumbling in America. People don't respect commitment and divorce at the first sign of trouble.
Ha, after 10 years of brutal marriage pain, it taught me there is no value in marriage. I will never pursue another relationship. I have come to like taking a long nap any time I want after work without a bitching wife harassing me about something. I realized that getting married is like saying, "hey, I am attracted to you, so let's get a contract through the government that will make breaking up a painful experience." I love Jordan Peterson, but none of his lectures on marriage will convince me to get married ever again.
NEVER Mary Cohabitate or Impregnate!
wise men in 2022 won't make that mistake a second time,
IF they were young enough to have gotten into the situation once. ✌️
Maybe the failing was getting married based upon ‘attraction’
@@brooklynnmcloud1470 Not at all. I got married to get away from family situations. Turns out the other spouse has got problems of their own, too.
@@demonicaxeman7264 also not a good reason to get married. I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out but attraction and escape route from my problems aren’t what good relationships are built upon. Everyone has their own problems
@@brooklynnmcloud1470 I don’t see any incentive to get married.
A conservative against divorce, what a surprise 😂
Brooo
Jesus Christ what kind of relationship has he been through. I knew my partner was the one because we were ridiculously compatible. Saying yes was stupidly easy.
Cherish it as though it were worth it's weight in "polonium" a/k/a as if it were priceless... relationships like that are quite rare from my perspective of 40+ years of relationship experience/s, as well as witnessing family and friends relationships!
Why would you apply your super rare experience as "normal" your kinda full of shit.
My husband was my best friend and neither of us were thinking of marriage. We played games together and had loads of fun. One day we realized we were spending every day together. Eventually a baby made us a family. It happened to us day by day.
Perhaps prior teenage dating before we met helped us know we were compatible and is why we went forward without doubt as adults.
You’re in the honeymoon phase if you haven’t had those. Even the healthiest relationships may have catastrophies which have nothing to do w the partners but a load they must bear collectively. That’s where it gets tough.
Foo McBar you have never been married or in a long term relationship to the average crazy woman. What you have is not normal but in a good way
Why are they making interpersonal skills sound so outrageously difficult.
Everyone should have that managed by 8 yrs old. Sheesh
Childish problems can be solved by 8 year olds. Adults have adult problems. Sometimes they can become complicated over a decade or two of being ignored or avoided or rationalized.
Women were expected to submit to their husbands. That changes what 'working things out' means.
never, NEVER, GET MARRIED, EVER!!!!!!
"purification requires heat and pressure....and ends in whats the commom denominator, " lol literally said something that sounded quite smart and mentioned a writer to just not say shit that was smart but a very commom thing people learn in their late 20s HAHHAHA people really think jordan is an intelectual hahaha
The Bible teaches what JP teaches! M
COMMON DENOMINATOR. Where was RUclips years ago? I could have used this great language on my EX. You are the common denominator. What?
My fire burnt out. I couldn't steer the relationship in the right direction. For my mental health and, yes, sanity, I had to end it. I don't care about the next relationship or the side chicks. My mental state is more important.
Jung was a serial cheater.😒
I love Jp but I ain’t being exclusive to one woman
Chris, you should get married and make a great husband
😮❤😮❤😮❤
Wait what are these Carl Jung speil?
yeah i guess hes an important footnote, but should his thing really be the ‘be all, end all’ viewpoint?
🤣😅😂
Well, I've been in love 43 times, every new relationship I've changed things, tried to better myself and I have always had the same result. The common denominator isn't me, it's them. They are all the same, the only thing that differs is the glitter on the outside. They are little machines of destruction, everything they touch gets destroyed.
Go your own way men.
Yes for this modern era it is best for men and women as long as the girl is on daily birth control pills and the man uses condoms
Spinds like you choose the same people all over again
Not to diminish your experience but maybe it is you as in you find people with similar character
Also 43 times is quite a lot imo! How does that even work?
Being in love 43 times and then claiming all the relationships you've been in are all the same while proclaiming you're not the common denominator comes across as incredibly nonsensical and highly narcissistic. How long does your 'love' actually last if it's been 43 times? If anything, it sounds an awful like infatuation to me instead.
@@philipwhitcomb5358
Okay, have a blessed day.
@@Servant_of_Christ Hahaha! Good luck with your life man cause you definitely need it in a big way. 😅
The wisest of all men will simply not commit to any woman...a woman becomes your potential catastrophe only if you marry her..
I wonder everyday why all my previous monogamous relationships ended in them cheating, but my poly relationship has lasted almost a decade. And he just explained it, all three of us are in this until the end. No out, only through.
Does she let you watch
common denominator is also a bit of non-sense
Definitely doesn’t seem worth it
ok fuuuuuck, I need cocaine to follow every bit of why you're correct.
More pseudoscience from the psychologist with the degrees in a soft science. Maybe they are "the common denominator" because they keep choosing the same type of mate, as is very common with humans. Not that they are causing the trouble in the relationship, but they are repeatedly choosing mates with the same personality defect. I used to be a big fan of Jordan Peterson. I'm no longer a big fan of Jordan Peterson. The more I see of Mr Peterson the less I am impressed with Mr Peterson.
Could have used this advice 2 months ago...
WRONG, SORRY. The issue with marriage is that the bread winner is screwed, and she can act as badly as she wants with no accountability.
Marriage is an old institution and so are the breadwinners.
So true