Woman Says Being A Good Single Mother Is Impossible
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- Опубликовано: 6 июн 2024
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Развлечения
I heard a woman say being a good mother starts with ensuring the child has father who loves and supports her and their child.
and vice versa!
A good mother is married to her children’s father (before pregnancy).
@@edward.j.robinsongo home bruh. I would expect that from a woman
This is 100% correct.
@@edward.j.robinsonIncorrect. Not vice versa.
When the mother leaves the child to go to work, someone is spending more time with her child than her, and is thus raising her child.
Exactly that's the real parent
Exactly!!! The values and belief system of someone else is being implanted into the child. I read a study that my husband had me read and it said that children who are in daycare 24/7 are essentially orphans.
Usually, it's television and video games.
pedophiles and European propaganda.
"Roll the dice close your eyes and get a surprise"....that is EXACTLY ALL they are offering men!
All these Women do..is... COMPLAIN!!.....
By all accounts, it takes two to raise a child properly and for the child to be a well-rounded adult. Single motherhood is lopsided.
The emotional part is important which is why so many people have attachment issues, most parents are not emotionally available for their children.
Absolutely correct 👍
I approve this message.
the problem with the kids of a single mother is that the children become PARENTIFIED. the mother ends up in an enmeshed relationship with her kids and they grow up to resent you and distance themselves from you because they realize that their relationship is inappropriate - the child becomes responsible for the parent's feelings as opposed to the single mother emotionally holding her own.
Emotional incest... and in many cases, physical.
It was so difficult. It was such a hardship, I worried all the time. I will always pray so hard for my son because I know there are inadequacies in him because of it. If I could do it over, I would not do it that way. I love my son, but ladies dont do it alone. Think more of your child than than giving them just you. I tell every young woman I know not to be a baby momma.
How many actually listen ?
This woman is honest and is not living in delusion. Ebony K gives the impression that it’s doable but that’s because she’s a six-seven figure earner who can provide her child with the best outcomes. Most women don’t make Ebony K money so for them it would be a struggle and that’s the most important thing people don’t mention. This is why the marketing and promoting of single motherhood as a viable option does a disservice to our community that is already in shambles
All the money in the world can't replace a father.
Thai, you have it wrong. Eboni will soon find out that money isn't the foundation of raising a child. Relationship bond is. Always has been. Always will be.
@@stripedrajang3571 I’m right there with you she gonna find out lol
Best resources, not the best outcomes. The outcome is left up to the child and circumstances. Children are also not raised by money and material items. They are raised by values and their environment. Single mothers present an imbalanced environment and only effeminate values. They have a tendency of hindering their children, which ultimately harms their children, because they are afraid of being alone and they want to keep the children near them.
@@KtotheG agreed
At least she’s honest his black single mothers would admit this
They say they don't wanna be married 😅
@@SuperJgutter for real, lol. and some of them even say they "graduated" from marriage. their minds are just gone.
@@SuperJgutter But out of the other side of their mouths, they say they love their kids. They do not.
The main thing is a lack of structure that most men provide.
The chaos and lack of standards comes from no structure in the home. Stay at home mom's also shouldn't wield all authority with no structure as well. Being a parent isn't solely about merely existing to have fun. A lot of these ladies believe a stay at home mom doesn't work because they don't want to work anymore.
What men are you referring to? It can't be black men. Let the sistahood tell it, all black fathers are deadbeats.
My mother did what was literally impossible: academic achievements, business achievements, raising us as children on her own for us to ultimately become clearly successful professional adults. My mother singled me out as her emotional crutch mainly because I volunteered for the role I saw she desperately needed in her life. I functioned as a surrogate parent which enabled her to achieve what would otherwise have been impossible, and I paid a heavy price personally. I worshipped her as a saint and resented her for what I felt was her selfishness. On two occasions, my birthday was forgotten. I always reminded her of my siblings, but mine was overlooked. It affected my ability to choose women suitable for relationships, and these forums have helped me to not only forgive her for doing her best: I have forgiven myself for feeling guilty about feeling robbed of my childhood. I will do better as a parent. I was fortunate, and I am still here thanks to her.
damn. That was real dude.
We are grateful for your story to the world, so candidly, and thanks for finding your emotional intelligence.
🙏🏽
@@MisterFridayOMG you mean finding his peace
This kind of reminds me of myself, being the oldest of 7. You do the most, but get no appreciation.
And all of that could've been avoided if her and your dad were married. Smh. Glad you made it through, bro
Well, she is making a good point. How can anyone say that a working mom is more efficient at parenting than a stay-at-home mom? Ain’t enough time in the day.
they think that because they believe in jesus, they can accomplish anything regardless of physics.
It's not just about their absence. It's also about their presence. Many poor kids had stay at home single mothers due to welfare, but they still turned out rotten because momma was rotten. Her rotten presence spoiled them. These women cause more deletions and damage with their mouths alone.
@@KtotheG your comment is warped. single mothers that became single mothers BEFORE being married are poor parents, regardless of whether or not they are staying at home.
the "stay-at-home mom" that the initial comment is referring to is in the context of a woman being married before having the children she is staying home with. you are misinterpreting the comment.
Ive know good single moms. A divorcee or widow can still be a good parent. Unfortunately many moms choose not to instill morals, character or ethics in their son or daughter.
Great Teachings big sister... This took me back to my childhood..
🥧 PIE - what these type bring to the table: projection, insecurities, and egomania. 🥧
She is the typical bitter baby mother.... She let him hit it raw and didn't have second thoughts.... she never wanted to be a mother... if you watch this podcast she regrets it now. Her bd calls her out all the time when he comes on.
They do it because there is ownership & protective status in being a mother;
along with the fulfillment of that biological need & possible
financial support with permanent attachments..
Exactly. Women will have children just for the financial benefits and be “proud” of it …like Shaq ex saying she only with and had all those kids just for the money/lifestyle
My mom was a great single mother. She wasn't perfect, but in my opinion she was as good as it gets . There were four of us( me the youngest) .She worked full time, she was a member of the Church , she bought house we lived in , she bought her car, and she was very supportive of me . She took me to all of my basketball games, football and baseball games, etc.
So, you don't feel something was missing?
If she “was as good as it gets” then she would have a father figure for you and your siblings. Car, house, church, and baseball games is cool I guess. Who was there to teach you about manhood, structure, discipline, foresight, women, leadership, etc? I guess your mother did all of that as well??? You can not put a price on fatherhood.
It’s the law of focus. Simple
THOSE POOR CHILDREN
Mrs. Crimson, you drop soo many bars this week that you could make a mansion of all the wisdom you have been saying! The children given mom emotional strength while not receiving any is so much the truth. This is the main tenet of son husbands that uncontrollably gives emotional strength to moms, sisters, girlfriends and wives without receiving any in return. This hits home!!!
Can’t serve 2 masters!
Your boss isn't your master and your husband isn't your master either. God is the master of both the husband and the wife.
@@davidazure1539
Nope. The men and women rejected God as their head in 1 Samuel 8:7 and therefore God said from that point forward men and women have to serve others as their heads and any curses that come with it as described in 1 Samuel 8:11-21.
1 Corinthians 11:3 and several actual laws in the Bible like Ephesians 6:5-9 says your boss is your master and there are laws in the Bible on what servants/slaves and their masters(boss) must do.
Christ says servants are the greatest(Matthew 23:11)
So what makes you think men and women don’t have to serve others based on actual scripture?
God literally cursed his people with slavery 😂
@@davidazure1539 sounds good: what difference between employees and slavery (indentured servitude)… all that babble Fed Reserve and their money with them symbols in it, is the Masters!
Y'all are just lazy. Y'all have an excuse for literally everything. I bet you can find the energy to do what you really want to do. Y'all always find time for that.
Auntie, you should do a segment on this
If she was widowed, then yes. There was a marriage (order and structure) set in place that didn't end in divorce. If her child was the result of a dysfunctional relationship with some goofball, then probably not.
"Just roll the dice, close ya eyes, and get a surprise." 😂😂😂
Absolutely not! Marriage is a religious institution. Why would we marry Non-religious people? Go figure.
Actually Marriage Isn’t Religious, Though Spiritual.
Marriage Has Been A Thing, Long Before Religion Came Into The Picture.
@One_of_Many750 so are you telling me that The Most High did not Institute marriage? Please do enlighten us.
🤣 they crazy that's why they keep doing this
lol, yep. this is so true. alot of men, myself included, lose sight of the fact that american culture actually drives many women crazy. and some men too. ladies, doing unnatural things will drive you crazy.
It's being an emotionally unavailable parent.
I’m a man who makes great money. But in all honesty there’s not enough of us to go around who can take care of a woman financially so she can stay home
There's no such thing as being a good single mother. You could do it by yourself but it doesn't mean it needs to be done. You could drive a car with your feet, it doesn't mean it's a good idea.
Unless the father's in jail or he passed away, I believe there's NO excuses on why the mother could work together with the father in order to raise the child better. Women rather go through hell and do EVERYTHING on their own than to swallow their pride and let the father in so the child can have a balanced upbringing. Now I get there's men that make kids and don't want to take responsibility for them, but if you have a man that's an active father and wants to do more and you denied him of that because you're hurt, think about this: You're hurting the child as well.
Also, for the women that want to stay at home and raise the child(ren), you have to understand you have to buckle down financially. Unless the man has a good paying job where he can afford it, you can't stay at home and keep up with the Joneses. Especially in today where cost of living is extremely high. From my experience, I heard women demanding, complaining and even threating their man/husband to stay at home to raise the child even though, she knows the financial aspect in the household and would rather stay at home, see the man struggle to make ends meet and complain about not having to do things like go on vactions or go out to eat. That's also abuse.
Domestic violence isn’t a factor??? Cause these ninjas stomping women down in real life…#nodiddy
Some women can’t work it out with the father because he is deadbeat or has started another family…
@@tishinahoneyblue5355 Although that's unfortunate, women make the decision on who they allow to sleep with. So if women do futher insight on the man they're interested in, a lot of people would be at a better place in life for the most part. Everybody thinks sexually first and personality last.
As for the another family part, I'm assuming the man's married and he wanted to sleep around with someone else. If that's the case, BOTH the man and woman he laid with is wrong because that's adultery.
@@myklo4269 The truth is that some people are evil and good people get screwed over everyday. Sinning is genderless…
To be honest and from what I've witnessed, the child is Monetized and is a Tangible Benefit to the single mother; furthermore, to be "programmed" to continue to be of a benefit of the single mother, in the future. For example: "son husbands"/ "Daughter bestie/benefactor". Also, in some cases, once the child becomes an "adult" and is no longer an Asset and Beneficial to the single mother, he/she is "discarded". For example: kicked out and/or sent to live with father and/or boyfriend/girlfriend.
Lots of women work and are great moms. As an adult, you understand both your parents working was necessary for the household. You dont become angry and resentful because your mom had a job. Smh.
No one ever said you become angry and resentful because of the mother having a job, it’s when the mother is emotionally unavailable and often use the children as their own emotional support/crutch which is what causes children to be resentful and angry. This is a side effect of single mother hood and if you look at statistical data for those raised in these type of environments you will see mental health and relationship issues later in their adulthood.
My daughter told me recently that when I divorced her dad I was no longer her mother I turned into everything but a mother. I get it.
Why did you do it
@@JUSTICE720p I bought into the independent woman b.s. plus I was surrounded by women that were jealous of my marriage and gave me bad advice. Trust me I regret my decision and I can say women are leaving good men for no good reason, I was one of them.
@@kemchrist3003 independent woman that's not it. women tend to have group thinking . you join there misery love company club and you fell for it .
So many women do .
I just left a comment a couple days ago on this one post on one of them women childfree channels
Women who are in marriages or long term relationships with children
Should never have a bunch of single childfree women as friends
And hagging out with them whatsoever
Point blank period
It's hey how you doing and I will talk to you some other time
And never listen to them types of women whatsoever
Especially on men or relationship advice
It's not necessarily there all no good women
They can't relate
(Don't understand) and you can't tell them anything
They tricked you out of your husband
I bet you probably all of them were single.
And some probably had a child or 2
They wanted you to be a single mother like them (join the club)
That's really what it was
Envy is the word not jealously
How long was you married to your husband ? At what age did you divorced him ?
@@JUSTICE720p 20 years and I was 42. I went back to school to get my nursing degree and that's when it all started. I thought I missed out on something. This independent mess is a disaster and it damaged my kids. Women are choosing to struggle whether financial or emotionally. I remarried and divorced him after 8 years. I've been single since 2017 and it took an additional 3 years to figure out I was the problem. I was a product of no structure no guidance and no God.
@@kemchrist3003
Let me make sure iam understanding what your saying
You got married at 22 years old
You divorced your husband at 42 years old A 20 year marriage
If that's the case you knew better at 42
It's not like you got married at 22 and at 26 you divorced 4 years later because to many other women was in your ear and you didn't know any better .
20 years in at 42 nobody should trick you out your position (marriage) at that point your to deep in 20 years
Even if it was you believing your missing out on something not at 42
You are who you are at that point.
Iam guessing your in your late 40s or early 50s now
You re married the same man for another 8 years and divorced again ?
Been single since 2017
dating will not work for you for the simple fact you are not built for that
You been in a relationship for the bulk of your adult life
(Your built for relationship)
As a teenager I knew dating was bullcrap
So many women have horrible timing and make critical mistakes in relationships at the wrong time once a woman past the age of 35
And been in a stable relationship for 10 or more years stay there
Women always think the grass will always be greener for them on the other side no matter what there age.
past 35+ it don't get better for most women look at the so called dating world and women complaining there no good men out here no they mess up
There best or prime years
You said you had no structure or guidance what do you mean ?
You grew up in a broken home
No father ?
By the way his name is not called God or lord or father or christ or Jesus or jehova
His name is (Yahweh)
But let single parenting man say that though. Maybe I need to do a “skit” saying it so we can compare?
Well the result from single father's is way better than single mothers
Everything she's saying appears on the surface to make sense, but is's always about money for these modern women - our mothers worked, those before them worked, their strength is just amazing, and husbands/fathers were present in the family
That’s true, however , those elders pathed the way for current day failure by adopting the lost value system and teaching it to their children.Something as simple as growing their own food, making their own clothes, building their own houses etc is already a lost art and now have to work more to pay someone else(and the middle man)to do it.
Read “The Social and Economic Status of the Black Population in the United States: An Historical View, 1790-1978. (1985). U.S. Dept. of Commerce, Bureau of the Census pages 19-97’’ …to see that Black women were divorcing their husbands resulting in the proportion of Black families maintained by a woman with no husband present doubling from 1940- 1975…
Once everybody could work apprenticeship programs(slave labor in disguise as a “job”)we start seeing black families with no men in the household increase from 18% to 35% from 1940-1975…these are the people that raised these next generations that we see today.
Great commentary!
I had that same conversation with my mother. She was more worried about what we had on our bodies than what she fed our minds. I told her I appreciated her sacrifices but she didn't protect us or teach us anything. We had to raise ourselves and listen to her scream about what's not fair to her. She come a long way. She grown a lot but it took alot. Not only that I watch her miss opportunities on respectable and hard-working men. She wanted a fast, easy life. This is a cycle that I don't believe can be broken.
8:44 this point resonated with me. I didn’t like my mom for years. I stopped visiting her and everything. She spent too much time talking ish when she would come home for work. When I was a teen. I’m 30 now and we’re just starting to repair our relationship.
what that lady is describing is called basic physics. the quality of your effort or attention in 1 activity is higher than what it is when you apply your effort or attention to multiple activities.
another thing is this. many american women, especially american black women, believe that raising children means only providing food, shelter, and clothing. they forget 2 additional critical things for humans. emotional support and cultural education.
any non-human animal provides food, shelter, and clothing. obviously animal clothing is different. humans also need appropriate cultural training. this is typically where men come in. the presence of men is critical for this one.
These jobs women do are horrible because the female supervisor/mgr creates chaos all day,a woman just trying to work will be emotionally exaused by mid day.
If you want to see a situation go from sugar to 💩💩💩 real fast, put a woman in charge
Assuming the boss is female. Men are just as chaotic
Every female boss I’ve ever had wasn’t worth a damn
@@ibiro868 and all the men were?
Men: 25% competent
Women: 0%
There isn’t one thing that most of us who grew up in single mother led household that was a good experience. A positive father in the household statically and in real time are factual
Some of you are tripping and having a man in the house doesn't mean anything because some men think that because they work they don't need to engage with the child. So everything is left up to the mother. That's why women seek divorces more than men.
@@davidazure1539Keywords “some men”.
You're right. Many a single Mom (Women period really) think she's owed a Man regardless of how she acts. But many of us Men just aren't gonna go for that anymore. Great commentary.
11:26😢
WHY! If --- forget.
Vital information, Mrs Kendra. 🌷
If she not working, she better be cooking, cleaning and teaching those children everyday and learning skills to advance the family! Maybe even growing food!
Ladies, you can take your butts to work & still be an active parent. It’s about having a strong support system
Who’s parenting the kids when parents are busy at work?
Does that same logic go for men. When we have to work crazy hours to support the family and we miss out on so much our children’s lives because we have to provide??
I have always said that prerequisite to be a good mother has to be marrying a good man.
I personally don’t believe in “multitasking” or “work-life balance” because doing more than one task at a time means that you’re juggling those things. One thing is always going to be up while one thing is down.
She sound 🔊 lazy to me
So what happens when both parents work? Or if the man is working all the time or working two jobs? Then the man is there but not really there and or when he's there he's too tired to govern or lead or discipline or structure or teach and such but the man is supposed to be in the house right? What good is it for him to be there if he cant provide himself? It seems like a damn if you do situation.
I’m 58 and I was a good single mom and have 38 year old son.stop looking for men to fulfill you they don’t understand women.😅
Latch key families
As the man (Gen 1:26-28) KJV, a husband (Gen 2:21-25) and a father (Gen 3:16), the minister of God (Rom 13), teacher (Eph 4) and one of the survivors who was bullied in school, this is true. The only thing a single mother can do is the best that she can. The woman was made to be help meet for the man. (Gen 2:18) She was not made to be a single mother.
I was telling my wife, I can not teach the word of God, then live contrary to the word of God. That would make me a hypocrite. That is not a good title to have. Titus 2
Okay so then go find a Bear 🐻
Use better word choices: while I understand what CC is trying to convey, to say that single equates to CAN'T be a good mom is grossly inaccurate. Why not just say that the situation could have been better with the family fully intact? It's the all inclusive/all or none verbiage that taints the message
It’s not inaccurate to say that
It’s very inaccurate. I know several AMAZING single mothers that raised happy adults.
@Ah-LeeSays There are ppl who survived being stuck by lightning too. Does that mean everyone should run around in a lightning storm with medal rods in their hands now? Just because there are exceptions that doesn't make it the norm.
@@3rdeyemang I’m not saying that at all. What I’m saying is that there is an assumption that married couples aren’t failing as parents and this couldn’t be further from the truth…
@@ElleKay407 You're still using exception to the norm to justify single mothers
Eve 👩🏽 biblical role is homeschooling babies 👶🏾and she hate 😡 it, she want Adam 🧔🏾 role on TMH SCRIPTure 🎥
Not all single mothers have to work tho…I became a single mother due to tragedy and was able to stay home with my children. What i realized is that ALOT of married couples are horrible parents. Especially if the wife is required to work. That wife is going to be focused on that husband, her job, the bills, her own struggles…Many times children are treated like spectators of the husband & wife’s marriage versus actually treated as a priority.
Not true at all, nothing is impossible...
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