Why your teen won’t talk to you
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- ►► Download PDF Guide: “5 Secrets to Communicating with Teenagers”
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Your teen’s stopped talking to you. They shut themselves away in their room for hours at a time. Any response you do get is an angry one-word answer along with some annoyed eye-rolling. Take a deep breath. Pulling away from parents is a normal part of development during adolescence. Whether you should be worried or not really depends on why your teenager has stopped talking. In today’s episode, we look at the reasons why teens won’t talk to their parents and how to get through to teens who have shut down.
In this episode, you’re going to learn:
- Why teenagers won’t talk to their parents
- Why parents need to stay connected to teens
- How to talk to teens who have shut down
RESOURCES & LINKS:
Download free guide “5 Secrets to Communicating with Teenagers” HERE: www.ologyonlin...
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►► Download PDF Guide: “5 Secrets to Communicating with Teenagers”
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My 16 year-old son hates me. He has social anxiety and no confidence. I recently realized I am the problem. My negativity, lecturing, and yelling wore him out. I am changing my ways and I see improvement in both of us… a long way to go, but I am hopeful.
That is very honest of you! And very pleased to hear that your relationship is improving. Wishing you and your son the very best.
@@DrBenWebb Thank you for taking the time to post.
@@joevolcano3396 how is it now?
It's not all your fault. Teenagers are borderline mentally ill. They're still fully dependent whilst falsely thinking that they aren't. They have just enough ability and knowledge to think they're fully able and wise enough to do anything. They aren't capable of much at all without support and guidance. Add to all of that, they have hormone levels out of control and are facing constantly changing schooling/friend/dating factors.
They need firm guidance and a solid and repeated schedule. Be direct and firm and keep their attention by being quick and concise. Discipline them and move on to addressing the next dumb thing they'll do.
Here are my notes: Pulling away from parents is normal, but they still need their parents. Bridge the gap by meeting their needs where they are.
1). Don't lecture them. Try to have positive communications. Engage them. Open up and share something interesting in your life. Talk to them like adult that you value their opinion.
2). Focus on teen-parent relationship. Keep routines safe. Strengthen your relationship. Resist the urge to lecture. Remind them who they really are.
Try to be connected with them. Speak with a therapist if possible. Offering acceptance with them. Validate their feelings.
Try to work with your teen to seek professional help. Pick your battles.
Thank you so much. My son had stopped talking to me. Im deeply sad because indeed we were like best friends. He is 13. Tuank you for this great advice
You're are very welcome.
I'm crying reading your comment. My son is 15, I'm going through the same thing
@@bellashealingartistry8934 I am read a book called, the Blessing of the B minus. I have become more understanding of these unexpected changes. Hormones and video games, food and friends play a big part when it comes to behavior. I just got to spent a week with my son. It was bliss! at first he wanted to stay with me for 2 days, then he just wanted to stay. We had a great time and we talked a lot. Then after reading and praying and crying, I just got to the conclussion that No Matter What, he will always be my son, my flesh and blood and somehow we will always be connected. That thinking gave me peace. I realised that my deep sadness was associated with the feeling of abandonment from his dad (my former husband) I really thought that I was going to die. He was a wonderful person until one day everything changed in a blink of an eye, so I was associating that type of pain with my son's reaction. I learn to give him space and to just let him be. What I ve changed is that I asked him to do excersise with me becauase I learn that they need a lot of exersise when the hormones are all over. I cooked his favorites food and we laugh a lot. Many times they have no clue why they are acting the way they act. I pray yo come through. It isnot over, he is treating me indifferent again, I just let him be. I hope this help. I will suscribe to your channel, I see that you do art too, Awesome. Blessings.
@Garden of Life Fine Arts thank you for the kind help. I really needed someone other than my mother to talk about what's going on. We sound like we have the same kid, it's never anything I expected to go through with him. We were incredibly close until he almost turned 13.
@@gardenoflifefinearts7177 I also just subscribed. My subscriptions are hidden, but I promise you I'm there. ❤️
She is 16 won’t talk to me , a single mother and has hurt herself before ? No friends and hardly talks to anyone . May be on autism spectrum ! Just her and I and not really close. Nothing makes her happy and seldom smiles!
So sorry to hear that. Hope the video was helpful in that regard.
She 💯 has something goin on! Heavy Metals & Free Radicals are prevalent in our society. The Amish have ZERO autism! Why? They don’t take jabs! (Now I don’t want to hear anything to the contrary about the Amish! They have been studied for Decades! Fact!)
Now, I would be willing to help you & give some suggestions to help ur situation out. I am always here to help people who are willing to be helped! However, 9-10 think I’m crazy! Yeah, I’m crazy! I’m crazy enough to think that none of what we are experiencing is Normal! The way we Live, Eat, interact… especially with the advent of Phones 📱 & Social Media! The medical System Will only want to put her on psych meds (which will only make her systems WORSE)
I am here & wiling to help. Will u answer the call?
Stay Strong 💪
Thanks. It's what I expected you to say, which is good. Mine is 16 and her social life isn't going as well as she'd like it to. Join the club. :)
Glad it was helpful.
They’re healthy and smart and engaging sometimes.
8:37 Thanks a lot, this is helpful and. timely
Thank you. Really helpful knowledge.
I shared this knowledge with other parents of teenagers I know. 🙂
Glad it was helpful.
For a long time, I started every day, clean slate ''Hello!'' I said. I never asked him to do chores (a mistake) but I would tentatively ask him to be more considerate tidying up after himself, he never did. He only became ruder and more threatening and more intimidating over time and I am a single parent. After being told ''quiet bitch'' I had to lock the doors and he broke down the door. I called the police. He's now living with my brother and miraculously following the normal 'rules' like go to bed at a normal hour, no cooking at 2 am. I understand that pulling away from your mother is normal but I think my son's brain functioning went wrong (too much screen time) and he overdid it and de-humanised me and demonised the one person who was always in his corner. I did try to cut the internet but he went nuts and scared me. I want to reconnect somehow but he's living with my brother now, showing him the respect he was determined not to show me. He told my daughter he was deciding whether or not to kill me, so I know I did the right thing calling the police. It may be hopeless. I might be pushing water uphill but I want to TRY, but this will be very very challenging.
That sounds like a very challenging family situation, which must be very emotionally distressing.
You shouldn't do it imo
Survival is more important
So it is normal for a 16 yo son to withdraw himself from his parents?
But what can a parent do when even the law requires you to discipline and parent your teen all the way till 18 years old?? You can't just leave them to do whatever they want either cus then they'll end up in many bad situations and most likely become terrible people ! They're still not completely developed, the brain is developing till 25, things like critical thinking, human psychology, politics, religion, sex ed, family values, etc these are very broad and complicated topucs that every teen needs to learn about and discuss with an older person who has passed through all of this and knows better. Otherwise they'll become idiots who don't want to learn anything new, and think they know everything and will be clueless about how life and the system works.. things like government establishments, addiction, trauma, being naiive, economics of the world , racism, sexism, political ideologies and propaganda... they need to learn all this stuff from someone close to them like a parent, someone who knows what they're talking about and you need to open their eyes from young age about this stuff if you as a parent want them to be sane, and have the values you want them to...way before they're able to research by themselves online , and then potentially form their own opinion about things and since they're young and naive, they'll most likely go on the wrong side...and become just another dumb sheep. Ghis is also while i am against the school system in general. A lot of lies, manipulation of information and pure changes of history and facts! But as a parent to a teen who refuses to talk to you or completely ignores you when you try teach them something, how in the world do you sit them down and get them interested in such topics ???? How?? 😢 You can't just give up all of a sudden, cus is like you've struggled with birth, and raising and teaching them stuff and making decent himan beings out of them for 10 wjole years.. you've basically given up your own life because of this.. you've lost your own youth, in order to focus on them to become nice people... and now all of a sudden you have to give it up and leave them be and hope they'll turn out well??? Well no!!! I refuse to accept this BS! You don't invest your entire 10 years of life to creat something, just to watch it get destroyed later on! 😡 By that logic whatever the point of teaching children anything at all?? Just teach em how to go to the toilet, feed themselves, dress themselves, cross the street..and then just leave it on luck or faith to decide how they turn up as adults!!:🙄 This is completely ridiculous! There must be a better way!
Thanks for your comments.
Thanks brah.
The issue is my teenager has never really talked and she doesn’t seem overly excited about anything aside from drama, but I feel like she is missing a lot of natural common sense when it comes to things like communication
Same issue here. A lot of issues with basic common sense. Academically fine but hygiene, mental organisation, lack of emotions or empathy. I’m worried he’s somewhat sociopathic or it’s behavioural or just plain doesn’t care. Any update on your situation?
I have 16 year old Son he stop going to school and i dont know why he doesnt want to talk to me even with his friend could you pls give same advise thank you im new Subscribers
You are not alone, I have 17 years old son ( about 2 years) he stop talking to us all, he won't go to school had school online. All day in his room take food to his room and he didn't looking at us.
And what ever this man talking ...try everything nothing helps its only blah blah...believe me try everything. Just give up and just let it go.....
We have just uploaded a webinar, which includes advice on how to talk to teenagers. Hope that helps.
Get to the point omg
thanks
I think Andropause is very similar.
My daughter lives with my ex wife and will not speak to me or even see me. She just turned 13. I haven't been perfect, but I have always been open and honest. It has been over a year since any communications... I have no idea why or what happened..
Same… what is happening in my case, is the child is always around the Biological parent. Constantly telling the child how Wrong You are, & how Right They are! The only thing one can do is to be there by the 📱 when they call. Absence makes the heart grow founder. U can’t force someone into something they don’t want… try offer your self to them. If they won’t, then give them Space. They will come back around down the road. The Prodigal son
It is probably because of the ex wife telling her things
@fly463 I'm sure, but you know what? I will never quit on my daughter. She's an amazing young lady, and I am proud to be her dad. I don't agree with her choices, but I will never stop loving her. I am not a perfect person and screwed up a lot in marriage, but I will never give up on my baby girl. The two greatest moments in my life are the two times I held my kids for the first time moments after delivery. I've served in the military for 8 years and been all over the world. I was able to see and do some pretty cool things, which created great moments in my life. That being said, it holds nothing compared to the first moment I was able to hold my two kids. Please excuse my rambling.. I hope this made sense. Thanks
@@liketearsintherain832 i hope you succeed 🙏
Hinestly i am looking foreward to having kids...but for the first 10 years.. then i wish i could just skimlp this next period if 10 years..and have them already grown..in the 20s.. rational people with common sense!
Thanks for your comment.
Thank you 🙏
Amazing videoooo❤️
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
The link is broken.
Thank you.
the page doesn’t exist
It has closed down.
Thank you for this video. Much appreciated.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I quit talking to my mother when I was 10 and we've never been close again. It's sad because she was my world for the first 10 years. But she was clingy and controlling and I started to figure out her bad behavior as I aged.
When she asked me if I quit talking to her because I was mad at her I lied and said,"No". I learned early that the smallest criticism would make her super defensive and emotional. I felt that she would disagree with anything negative I said about her, and she'd put a guilt trip on me if I made her feel bad.
I barely talk to her today, and she still sees me as the reason we aren't close. Conclusion: This is a common story. A lot of parents need to let go of their parental entitlement and not freak out if their child critiques their behavior. All healthy relationships require open, honest communication.
But what can a parent do when even the law requires you to discipline and parent your teen all the way till 18 years old?? You can't just leave them to do whatever they want either cus then they'll end up in many bad situations and most likely become terrible people ! They're still not completely developed, the brain is developing till 25, things like critical thinking, human psychology, politics, religion, sex ed, family values, etc these are very broad and complicated topucs that every teen needs to learn about and discuss with an older person who has passed through all of this and knows better. Otherwise they'll become idiots who don't want to learn anything new, and think they know everything and will be clueless about how life and the system works.. things like government establishments, addiction, trauma, being naiive, economics of the world , racism, sexism, political ideologies and propaganda... they need to learn all this stuff from someone close to them like a parent, someone who knows what they're talking about and you need to open their eyes from young age about this stuff if you as a parent want them to be sane, and have the values you want them to...way before they're able to research by themselves online , and then potentially form their own opinion about things and since they're young and naive, they'll most likely go on the wrong side...and become just another dumb sheep. Ghis is also while i am against the school system in general. A lot of lies, manipulation of information and pure changes of history and facts! But as a parent to a teen who refuses to talk to you or completely ignores you when you try teach them something, how in the world do you sit them down and get them interested in such topics ???? How?? 😢 You can't just give up all of a sudden, cus is like you've struggled with birth, and raising and teaching them stuff and making decent himan beings out of them for 10 wjole years.. you've basically given up your own life because of this.. you've lost your own youth, in order to focus on them to become nice people... and now all of a sudden you have to give it up and leave them be and hope they'll turn out well??? Well no!!! I refuse to accept this BS! You don't invest your entire 10 years of life to creat something, just to watch it get destroyed later on! 😡 By that logic whatever the point of teaching children anything at all?? Just teach em how to go to the toilet, feed themselves, dress themselves, cross the street..and then just leave it on luck or faith to decide how they turn up as adults!!:🙄 This is completely ridiculous! There must be a better way!
That is not always the reason. I took my cue from my son. I backed off, expected nothing, no affection no confidences, no pleasing me, but I left the channels of communication open. I was and am in his corner but he has demonised me and dehumanised me for having loved him when he was small. It's his choice and I can do nothing for now. I hope I live long enough to see his brain mature. I am grateful to my brother for putting a roof over my son's head and I just hope the respect he has to show my brother to keep that roof over his head becomes habit. It did him no service to allow him to intimidate me and scream at me if I asked him not to cook at 2am, scream at other gamers while gaming et cetera. He was in the bad habit of treating all around him like dirt. He needs the life lesson that that is a short term strategy. I dont know if he is capable of the empathy it would require to understand that he has put his *mother* (who was hardwired to love him and be in his corner) through absolute he'll with his dehumanisation of me. Im a ghost to him. I have a good relationship with my other child.
Thanks for your comment.
@@SusanaXpeace2uI think it is a simple case
Easy love or affection means nothing to him
You have to act cold or outright ignore him & only give love & affection when he does something great.
Just like your brother might be handling it.
Making him behave by rewarding him with small treats(affection).
That could maybe solve the issue