What is one disrespectful thing your teen does or says that frustrates you? Leave a comment and let me know. Also, make sure to get your FREE quick action guide "10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You" here ➡ www.daniel-wong.com/guide
they say "not you business... what about doing it yourself.... give this advice to yourself..." one really knows how to make me crazy, smiles at me as if she was mocking me, laughs at my words and says hurtful words in wispher when she appraoches me ... that doesn't always happen, only when she is angry at me... i started managing my anger by understanding the psychology in her attitude, i think she feels insecure and her way as copymechanism is violance and aggressivity
Even with helpful information, a good family can still have disrespectful children. The internet, social media etc is destroying today generation at a rapid pace..
You are exactly right. My 12 year old granddaughter had a fit when I asked her to put her cell phone down for a minute! She has never had chores , or any discipline. Her mom is an alcoholic and a mental wreck! Her dad do not discipline or give her any kind of duties. I have had enough! One thing I don’t allow is disrespect. She also hangs with another troubled 12 year old. My granddaughter goes to counseling but I don’t see any progress!
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
As a father of six daughters, one being 42 years old, 4 teenagers and one that just turned 12, I have had a variety of issues over a long span of years and of different generations. My teenagers, who have grown up with internet, social media and the Covid 19 pandemic, are a special generation of kids that traditional thinking has gained new meaning. It's as if they don't need or rely on parents when answers to their questions are fingertips away. What used to be the proper way to deal with conflicts or emotional differences with parents, have become rise to stress and frustration. I agree to a point on some of the suggestions you make on this video, but I also think because there is less parenting going on in the world because of single parents, long work hours, lack of time spent with kids and more access to internet activities that content can be fake information that kids become more confused than ever.
Appreciate your support we are grandparents with our grandson living with us Post COVID-social isolation he did his senior year on line 1/2 his junior yr.. delayed development anger anxiety .. he even graduated cum Laude with AP classes.
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." You know who said that? Aristotle. Society isn't unraveling, you're just forgetting how children in general actually behave.
Truth hurts sometimes… and people need called out on negative traits. Delivery matters… yes. But too much candy coating does not make them stronger, nor prepare them for the world.
Likewise, your kid has no right to expect you to give everything she wants and do everything for her all the time. If she has privileges like internet access or allowance, she has to earn it.
Mine rolls her eyes, pulls faces and mocks what I say. If I say they’ve messed the fridge up and she hears it, she’ll say it wasn’t us we didn’t do it why you blaming us in a rude way
I don’t think this tips work at all. We have a teenager that has always being treated with respect, going to therapy and having an open space to talk about anything that could frustrate him. In return we got disrespect, lies and indifference. This doesn’t work. I’m starting to believe that discipline and strictness is the only way to raise a respectful person. Otherwise they just become too entitled. It’s unbearable.
Idk if you’re still on here. My 16 daughter has been on my last nerve. She is 1 out of seven. She is the third youngest. Mother passed away in 2020. My daughter has been testing the waters since. Being rebellious, low academic grades, needing her cell phone to survive, rolling the eyes, sneaking out of the house, vaping, missing school bus and I could keep going. I think corporal punishment would do her some good. However I will try some of your steps first before I get the wooden spoon like my mother use to do me. All of the selective words you gave hurt my head. I am not a God but a mere human with human emotions. So I will keep trying but she is on my short list. You’re more than welcome to stop by my house for a few sessions. We live in PA in the Lehigh valley area. I’ll even do a zoom call. Anything. I also need a vacation. Thank you
Tell her you love her! Everyday! I lost my mom at a young age. After she died I never heard those words ever again. I too did exactly what your daughter did
I am warning you these steps in the video will not help in any way The best advice is stay strong remember that the world is not free nor is it sugar coated survival in this world is what ultimately is the lesson to be learned keep the boundaries keep the rules escalate the ramifications it doesn't matter at the end of the day they grow up remember everyone that their brains are not developed your brain is there's or not until the age of 27 so you're talking to someone that is missing a large portion of capability if they were a computer you would technically just throw it out cuz it's useless all the beliefs and thoughts and all that is just always the opposite of right so you have to be the strong one if you do not monetarily have the capability to do it and I will suggest that. I don't know I came out pretty good I have run several companies I have helped many people and I live a comfortable life and those issues with my daughters the last thing I need to do is become softer I don't want to be the opposite of what I am just to supposedly mold her into what I'm a beliefs before this may sound rather tough and cold but it's the reality I've been telling my kids for longest time My responsibilities and at some point you have to be ready to support yourself be self-sufficient and not rely on someone else all this other nonsense about the trans douche bags of the Earth and you know the other ones I love to plow the same apparatus they have back into themselves these are very sick individuals and for some reason kids gravitate to that evil and listen your child may leave with anger when it comes to you and these douchebag psychiatrist will tell you otherwise that you could have done a softer better job yeah you know softer better I got something softer better for you nonsense we need to go back to the early days I caught a beating if I fucked off you know what I never had that discussion of your grades of horrendous because I knew there was a beating on the other end of it and you know what those meetings and those systems of authority that I was raised in made me a survivor a tough individual so I would suggest that at the end of the day. Well with that I hope you think my advice because I know I'm damn right
I did all of this, but it didn't work with one of my children. All this advice is good, but you have to take into consideration that sometimes the situation is unbearable.I'm not even talking about great conflicts here. I experienced a slow, but steady decline of respect, dedication to family life, a chosen way of life I can't relate to and a frustration that there seems to be a total lack of appreciation for me and my husband. Although a lot of time has passed and were're not living together, the emotional distance hasn't really gotten smaller.Whenever there's a meeting that last for more than a day or two, tensions are running high.
Yes! It is tolerating and that is not that bad. After all they must learn this skills for friendship purposes, work purposes, even romantic relationship purposes. Tolerating is not the same as tolerate am abuse behavior because everything should have a limit (a boundary). You should have your limit that they should not cross and they would have to create theirs for their adulthood life.
I think, as a mother, I demand respect no matter what. I'm friendly, but in the end of the day, me and my husband are paying for them. And I don't accept being treated badly, just because my children's brains haven't develooed yet. I think, as part of the older generation, I don't have to engage in too much conflict, I can simply say no.
As a mother, I feel like we are unappreciated in so many different ways. And I totally 100% agree with you. I demand respect as well as a mother no matter what. You won’t respect from me you must first give it. I am the authority figure. Therefore, if you want me to be able to allow you to do more, and to have more freedom, you must first show me that you can obey and follow the rules. I don’t know what this dude is talking about, definitely the talking thing can be fixed and changed as far as control. Yeah, you are being controlled because you’re a child and if you think that you can make adult decisions as a child, then you need to move out.
@@melissaphillips08 I am really feeling sorry for both of your children. Respect is never demanded but earned. What if your child too think like this? If you can't be merciful and ready to sacrifice your high ego, a bit, for your innocent small child, I really wonder your status of relationship! You are showing power of your authority to that poor fellow who just need a bit more love, a bit more care, a bit more relaxed person to whom they can share things! Shame! Of course, how will this get to your egoistic head!
@@ascoolas_iceso from ur opinion, as adults we don’t have all the needs u just listed right? Because many of us never ask to be here, and our children can say the same, yet that’s not going to solve the pandemic problem right? Some of us grow up the evil way, no basic training, yet we are still able to work n provide for our children, I’m not expecting my child to respect me honestly, just respect my rules, When a child attend school, the leaders at the school isn’t expecting for the child to respect them, but they must follow the school policies, especially as a teenager!
It is so much more effective to mentor and coach. I rephrase what my daughter said and then I ask her how she thinks that makes me feel. I get hugs and kisses and I am sorry daddy, I will try better. Also, work on strengthenong relationships before you need to use the relationship bond to tackle challenges together.
I just gave my teen power to do a task that was creating lots of stress between us, and she completely calmed down, it was like a different person, but I took a lot from me to do.
My sons are 13 and 16. My younger one is very stubborn and always challenges anything I say. He will always say I’m not doing much for him and he had a very bad childhood as he was in Creche and he never had mother’s love and was always alone
WELL, ask yourself if you are someone you would hang out with. We need to provide guidance, love, and support. Also sometimes teens like alone time, it might not be you.
Does it hurt your ego? Do you expect or want your son to be a deaf and dumb? Or only dumb? Why do you want to raise your child to be a labour or worker who only listen, get oppressed?
Thank you for this video I am trying so hard to break the cycle of demanding respect, as parents we have to set the example I don’t think most adults were taught how to manage our “downstairs” brain, most of us were told to just “respect me” or else, most of our respect came from fear of judgement and punishments. We have to break the cycle teenagers are amazing and fun we need to give them space to be themselves!
Daniel, these are excellent tips! My 8-year old grandson was "eavesdropping" while i was watching your video and he remarked that parents of younger children should listen to the 4 tips, too :)
I run around for my daughter as she participates in many sports. I’m a single parent , I work long hours … she does not appreciate what I do, she talks over me , she behaves like she’s the adult and gives me orders and demands ! Sorry I can’t tolerate this. I love her , I die for her but don’t walk all over me. I agreed with some people here the covid , social media have done immense damage to these kids . I drive long hours , barely eat , move my day for her completely for her but she feels she’s entitle to it. She’ has a big mouth and talks over me. I feel so under appreciated, my life is devoted to her , but no appreciation for what I do is so discouraging. She has so much freedom but the more disrespectful she is the less I want to do for her. It feel like emotional abuse. I lived this with her dad , I feel I’m relieving that horrible marriage life I had
Wow. That crap about being expected to follow rules???...I give my kids more freedom than I probably should, but helloooooo....welcome to the real world!!! We allllll have to learn to follow the rules of life.
I've always respected my kid, i dont have very many restrictions at home.... I give her leave to express herself and i listen and i care and i act like it.... But she actively tries to upset me all day... No matter what i do....
just take the damn phone away, stop being nice. There has to be boundaries, if not she will take everything for granted and do whatever she wants. Learn to say no
I don’t believe you. You say she tries to upset you all day no matter what you do, but you admit you don’t have much restrictions at home. Get it together as a parent you’re the authority
Hello, thank you for making these videos. My teen calls me stupid when my husband and I argue. Most of the time my partner blames me for everything, shames me calls me names and tells who taught you to be like that. This been going on for a long time now my son is a teen and disrespects me.
Thankyou so much...concrete and well articulated advice. It's a gradual process,with teens you can just focus on the moment or situation...getting over stressed over how they will turn out or their impulsive behaviours will spoil the current communication. Parents must work on being calm and ready that some things will not be in their control.
Something that really frustrates me is when my teen complains, blames and criticizes other people if he doesn’t win at a game or feels he did not shine. He only says negative comments and it becomes frustrating to show him how to look at things as positive. These conversations start to escalate because I feel I cannot communicate and show him that it is not the way to speak of people
great video, really helpful tips! i gotta say though, while i appreciate the strategies, some of them seem a bit too lenient. i feel like setting firmer boundaries might be more effective in the long run. what do you think?
Thank you for this video! Its so important for parents to evaluate their own behavior and disrespect that tends to fuel children's misbehavior. The "traditional ways" of parenting have often left children scarred, perpetuated abuse, and now we have grown adults who don't know how to model humility and kindness for their own children. For those who are willing to lay down their pride and actually contemplate their ways, this videos for you!
When she tells me that I: never listen to her, ignore her (I literally give her more attention that her brother and as a single mom I do my best), and that I don't care about her. These things ALWAYS go together and I don't know how to cope when she says them.
I don't know if I can think of just one thing. My son is very disrespectful he lies about everything (big or small). I cant trust him to do the right thing, recently caught him smoking in my home an he tried to lie about it. Its like nothing I do is good enough and I have 3 other kids that need me as well and I feel drained with just him, that i have nothing left for my other children
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about the frustrating situation. This other video that I've created might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/TZF8yZLK2Pw/видео.html
My girlfriend treats her 14-year-old like he’s still five years old. I see it very hard for him to be an adult soon if he’s still acting and being treated like a child.
Any suggestions on a child disrespectful because the coparent allows it? How can you navigate that when they’re getting away with it majority of the time?
my daughter drug overdosed herself 2 weeks ago because of bad friends in her gaming social media discord/twitter. I asked her to stop using her cellphone for a while until I see she is responsible to use internet appropriately. Last night she bought her own new cellphone. I don’t like her social media friends in her twitter /discord account, they keep on posting about “kill your father” & even messaging my daughter to kill her own brother. What would I do? My daughter threat me that she’ll run away if I will take her cellphone.
My daughter don't like to listen to me or her teachers. She's rude and disrespectful. She just wanna have fun and not do school work. I've gotten so many complaints abt her in school. It's frustrating 😒
Teens in the US know they have all the power because they know no matter how they speak to you that you aren't allowed to physically discipline them or you go to jail nor are you allowed to kick them out of the house until they are 18. I can only stop paying for my sons phone, get rid of video games and computer. I cant make him help around the house either because mine is so stubborn he would rather stare at 4 walls and never have phone or games again rather than do what hes asked.
What if they always in downstairs brain? Even when they are calm or when they calm and you try to have a conversation they instantly in the downstairs brain?
As parents we are preparing these kids for life. They will have bosses, managers, government regulations that they have to follow even if they work for themselves. Someone will always tell them what to do. Your boss or Uncle Sam could care less if you pout, stomp, and throw a fit. Your boss will throw you out of employment and Uncle Sam will throw your butt in jail.
Just don’t clean it for him and let him bear the consequences. He will be pushed to cleaning it himself. Do less talk more actions especially with boys. Girls need more talk.
My kids would revolt if I tried to reduce their screen time. Just tonight, my son glared at me when I asked him to give me his phone. His room was a mess. His homework wasn’t done yet. I was being unreasonable in his view. Until someone tells me how to fix that situation none of these ideas will help .
I got tons of YOU statements. At 57 years old I was diagnosed with a learning disability they never questioned. It was always me rather than them asking me why I struggled so hard. It was beyond my control and not the expert in neurodiversity. . I was just expected to keep up or get verbally assaulted.
This is a 15yo boy from an online community. I'm not his family. Apparently, his parents doesn't let him use social media, except for our small online server. I am 28. At first, I tried to coach him, I was respectful and all that. He didn't respond much but kept talking about his situation. He displays toxic traits like judging other ppl or saying sarcastic things to them. One day, he tried to do this to me too, and I wasn't having that and changed the topic in a dismissive way. Eventually after some more weeks, idk why but he started judging me, giving me silent treatment, then when I was writing about a bug bite in the server today, nothing serious just little daily life things, he said "...just no." I asked him to clarify what he meant, but he decided to run away with silence. :/ Super frustrating
I give him time to behave n take action but he waste time n results are at risk.. As a single mom n financialy weak so i have to remind him not to waste time n preparr well
This sounds similar to a friendship. I get the coach mentality and the “I” statements but at some point it turns to a negotiation or a “let’s make a deal” mentality. What do you do with that? The power thing within limits, I’m a little fuzzy on that. I think that should be elaborated on much more for a better understanding. I am quite curious. How were you raised Daniel? Did you have similar upbringing with this same message? Or did you learn this as an adult?
Mr, I would like to ask my teens like to act suddenly by himself like the game when eating. Sometimes he suddenly shout, acting like the figures in the game... I mean he watched and remember and act out. What should I do? thx u
This is stupid Tough love and hard nosed parenting is what kids need now more than ever. Take the phones and consoles laptops and tablets Tvs and make them earn them back w good behavior. Period
Being 43 I'm confused with some things. I might be wrong, which I have no problem with owning if I am, but what I hear is when i grew up I was to be respectful and accountable, we were raised outside then news had to remind parents they had kids at 10. Being the only child I wasn't the spoiled only child, I was the you are responsible if your friend breaks something in our house then it's on me type. Also if someone disrespects you then try to resolve, then don't entertain, then make them if they insist on harassing. But now I'm an adult I'm supposed to give my kid more power than I have in the only place I have it? When the kids now aren't accountable and believe they just are never wrong. They don't know how the world works because they grew up inside, they never lose because they get rewarded for losing and now can be disrespectful to their parents because they're no consequences? So at what point do they learn reality? In the work force, bosses aren't going to pretend they have power. If respect is not understood early then accountability for actions is not learned because that is respect in the self and from others. If respect is not learned early then understanding authority and power is not learned. So like now we have people who think they can make decisions but not the consequences, they think communication is them saying whatever they want and then ignore the other part of conversation like they do online, while they are being told mean are weak, not needed. My job as a parent is to raise a productive good person, but in order to be that you have to know who they are. You have to lose to overcome the mindset that you win all the time. You have to acknowledge mistakes to learn from them. You have to struggle to know what you are capable of when your back is against the wall. Right now you a society that nobody knows who they are but demands other people to meet expectations that they have but they aren't the weakest version of person they could be. They can't handle pressure now and end up snapping and hurting themselves or others. All because they were raised to be a false level of respect.
I am also a pretentious idiot. I watch crap on the media, I am a loser, I can do nothing well. You might think I insult my daughter as well. Wrong! I don't even feel like calling her names.
My Tacious girl always saying I am gonna leave home when I am getting 16. Very small reason she getting upset. She’s not listening to me and she is very disrespect. Please guide me. What should I do?
My teen girl (16) thinks there no point to say bye to her grandma because she doesn’t think there’s a point to get to know her so why say bye to her. She won’t give anyone a chance to get to know them.
i feel frustrated when my son use vulgar languages on me, cover his ears when i just want to say something to him, stay in his room most of the time to avoid me ...:( i feel so hopeless on him ever will talk to me anymore....sighz
If you are not sick, this option to be evasive to the responsibility to raised a teenager and build deeper bonding is maybe more inside of the comfort zone. That is also a lesson for a teenager when a parent doesn't wanna deal with them, the feeling of rejection will have a cost for you and the teenager.
@@mylifewithaspiehubby it is of no cost to me. Her mother alienated her from me after I got married. She comes here and creates absolute hell, turns my home upside down. I will pick up when she is grown. It will cost her and it will be her mother's fault. No way I'm going to deal with the headache of kissing my own kids ass and her mother's ass.
he says "shut the hell up or I'll slap the shit out of you" and in my anger i responded with "i will do that too." and then i had to leave the room so i wouldn't scream... did i do something wrong here? - genuinely worried
The wild thing about all of this is the concept of a teenager is a post WW2 concept and through most of human history there were two phases in life, pre-puberty and post. Once you went through puberty you were viewed as an adult and expected to act as one.
What is one disrespectful thing your teen does or says that frustrates you? Leave a comment and let me know.
Also, make sure to get your FREE quick action guide "10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You" here ➡ www.daniel-wong.com/guide
I’m I’m 😊
He says I'm toxic, after disobeying anything and everything..I feel yak
He keeps repeating “It's not your business”😏
could you please say what should I do?
He says, I don't care. . . or will not respond to a question.
they say "not you business... what about doing it yourself.... give this advice to yourself..." one really knows how to make me crazy, smiles at me as if she was mocking me, laughs at my words and says hurtful words in wispher when she appraoches me ... that doesn't always happen, only when she is angry at me... i started managing my anger by understanding the psychology in her attitude, i think she feels insecure and her way as copymechanism is violance and aggressivity
Even with helpful information, a good family can still have disrespectful children. The internet, social media etc is destroying today generation at a rapid pace..
Exactly they are being "parented" by every unethical and subversive influence via tech
You are exactly right. My 12 year old granddaughter had a fit when I asked her to put her cell phone down for a minute! She has never had chores , or any discipline. Her mom is an alcoholic and a mental wreck! Her dad do not discipline or give her any kind of duties. I have had enough! One thing I don’t allow is disrespect. She also hangs with another troubled 12 year old. My granddaughter goes to counseling but I don’t see any progress!
Absolutely right!
I agree wholeheartedly
@@bessiestephens5346I think the greater problem is less that she likes your phone and that her mom is literally the worst possible role model
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
As a father of six daughters, one being 42 years old, 4 teenagers and one that just turned 12, I have had a variety of issues over a long span of years and of different generations. My teenagers, who have grown up with internet, social media and the Covid 19 pandemic, are a special generation of kids that traditional thinking has gained new meaning. It's as if they don't need or rely on parents when answers to their questions are fingertips away. What used to be the proper way to deal with conflicts or emotional differences with parents, have become rise to stress and frustration. I agree to a point on some of the suggestions you make on this video, but I also think because there is less parenting going on in the world because of single parents, long work hours, lack of time spent with kids and more access to internet activities that content can be fake information that kids become more confused than
ever.
Appreciate your support we are grandparents with our grandson living with us Post COVID-social isolation he did his senior year on line 1/2 his junior yr.. delayed development anger anxiety .. he even graduated cum Laude with AP classes.
😭😭😭 so true
So true indeed!!!
The older I get the more I realize why the older generation acted and raised like they did. Society is unraveling.
It’s a much different world today then it was 30 or 40 years ago
Yes, and those tips give you nothing
So goes the saying: To be young and a conservative is to be insensitive - To be old and a liberal is to be a fool.
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
You know who said that? Aristotle. Society isn't unraveling, you're just forgetting how children in general actually behave.
I'm trying to find balance because my 11yr old is on the verge
Truth hurts sometimes… and people need called out on negative traits. Delivery matters… yes. But too much candy coating does not make them stronger, nor prepare them for the world.
true, like we are tolerating, destroying not building them
Yes and no
All this if we cannot tell, it is simply telling us to suffer in silence.
Not really. It’s telling you how to stay more calm and disciplined your child in a calmer way and be more understanding
Telling me that I have no right to expect her to do her chores...or anything for that matter, really frustrates me.
Likewise, your kid has no right to expect you to give everything she wants and do everything for her all the time. If she has privileges like internet access or allowance, she has to earn it.
@@walqqr1wow brilliant!
@@walqqr1 that's dumb
Mine rolls her eyes, pulls faces and mocks what I say. If I say they’ve messed the fridge up and she hears it, she’ll say it wasn’t us we didn’t do it why you blaming us in a rude way
Thank you, but sometimes i want to send him to a boarding school, because no matter what i do his is miserable.
I don’t think this tips work at all. We have a teenager that has always being treated with respect, going to therapy and having an open space to talk about anything that could frustrate him. In return we got disrespect, lies and indifference.
This doesn’t work.
I’m starting to believe that discipline and strictness is the only way to raise a respectful person. Otherwise they just become too entitled. It’s unbearable.
@@rg555mg you should go to family therapy then because that’s probably the next step
Talking back and not caring!
Idk if you’re still on here. My 16 daughter has been on my last nerve. She is 1 out of seven. She is the third youngest. Mother passed away in 2020. My daughter has been testing the waters since. Being rebellious, low academic grades, needing her cell phone to survive, rolling the eyes, sneaking out of the house, vaping, missing school bus and I could keep going. I think corporal punishment would do her some good. However I will try some of your steps first before I get the wooden spoon like my mother use to do me. All of the selective words you gave hurt my head. I am not a God but a mere human with human emotions. So I will keep trying but she is on my short list. You’re more than welcome to stop by my house for a few sessions. We live in PA in the Lehigh valley area. I’ll even do a zoom call. Anything. I also need a vacation. Thank you
The don't have any love towards their parents
Mine’s 12 and is all that and much more. 😞 you’re NOT alone!
Tell her you love her! Everyday! I lost my mom at a young age. After she died I never heard those words ever again. I too did exactly what your daughter did
He can come by my house too. Better yet take them for the summer lol
I am warning you these steps in the video will not help in any way The best advice is stay strong remember that the world is not free nor is it sugar coated survival in this world is what ultimately is the lesson to be learned keep the boundaries keep the rules escalate the ramifications it doesn't matter at the end of the day they grow up remember everyone that their brains are not developed your brain is there's or not until the age of 27 so you're talking to someone that is missing a large portion of capability if they were a computer you would technically just throw it out cuz it's useless all the beliefs and thoughts and all that is just always the opposite of right so you have to be the strong one if you do not monetarily have the capability to do it and I will suggest that. I don't know I came out pretty good I have run several companies I have helped many people and I live a comfortable life and those issues with my daughters the last thing I need to do is become softer I don't want to be the opposite of what I am just to supposedly mold her into what I'm a beliefs before this may sound rather tough and cold but it's the reality I've been telling my kids for longest time My responsibilities and at some point you have to be ready to support yourself be self-sufficient and not rely on someone else all this other nonsense about the trans douche bags of the Earth and you know the other ones I love to plow the same apparatus they have back into themselves these are very sick individuals and for some reason kids gravitate to that evil and listen your child may leave with anger when it comes to you and these douchebag psychiatrist will tell you otherwise that you could have done a softer better job yeah you know softer better I got something softer better for you nonsense we need to go back to the early days I caught a beating if I fucked off you know what I never had that discussion of your grades of horrendous because I knew there was a beating on the other end of it and you know what those meetings and those systems of authority that I was raised in made me a survivor a tough individual so I would suggest that at the end of the day. Well with that I hope you think my advice because I know I'm damn right
I think i have to watch this about 100X more for my step teenage daughter
Hope that helps!
🫶🏽 Blessings to you mama
Step parents have it the worse. Trust me I know!!
U are a true enabler.
I did all of this, but it didn't work with one of my children. All this advice is good, but you have to take into consideration that sometimes the situation is unbearable.I'm not even talking about great conflicts here. I experienced a slow, but steady decline of respect, dedication to family life, a chosen way of life I can't relate to and a frustration that there seems to be a total lack of appreciation for me and my husband. Although a lot of time has passed and were're not living together, the emotional distance hasn't really gotten smaller.Whenever there's a meeting that last for more than a day or two, tensions are running high.
I had a 15 years old daughter,now she lied alot and following the wrong group at school
same😢
Exactly my 17 years old
its like tolerating their behavior
Yes! It is tolerating and that is not that bad. After all they must learn this skills for friendship purposes, work purposes, even romantic relationship purposes.
Tolerating is not the same as tolerate am abuse behavior because everything should have a limit (a boundary).
You should have your limit that they should not cross and they would have to create theirs for their adulthood life.
I think, as a mother, I demand respect no matter what. I'm friendly, but in the end of the day, me and my husband are paying for them. And I don't accept being treated badly, just because my children's brains haven't develooed yet. I think, as part of the older generation, I don't have to engage in too much conflict, I can simply say no.
As a mother, I feel like we are unappreciated in so many different ways. And I totally 100% agree with you. I demand respect as well as a mother no matter what. You won’t respect from me you must first give it. I am the authority figure. Therefore, if you want me to be able to allow you to do more, and to have more freedom, you must first show me that you can obey and follow the rules. I don’t know what this dude is talking about, definitely the talking thing can be fixed and changed as far as control. Yeah, you are being controlled because you’re a child and if you think that you can make adult decisions as a child, then you need to move out.
@@melissaphillips08 I am really feeling sorry for both of your children. Respect is never demanded but earned. What if your child too think like this? If you can't be merciful and ready to sacrifice your high ego, a bit, for your innocent small child, I really wonder your status of relationship! You are showing power of your authority to that poor fellow who just need a bit more love, a bit more care, a bit more relaxed person to whom they can share things! Shame! Of course, how will this get to your egoistic head!
@@ascoolas_iceso from ur opinion, as adults we don’t have all the needs u just listed right?
Because many of us never ask to be here, and our children can say the same, yet that’s not going to solve the pandemic problem right?
Some of us grow up the evil way, no basic training, yet we are still able to work n provide for our children,
I’m not expecting my child to respect me honestly, just respect my rules,
When a child attend school, the leaders at the school isn’t expecting for the child to respect them, but they must follow the school policies, especially as a teenager!
It is so much more effective to mentor and coach. I rephrase what my daughter said and then I ask her how she thinks that makes me feel. I get hugs and kisses and I am sorry daddy, I will try better. Also, work on strengthenong relationships before you need to use the relationship bond to tackle challenges together.
Raising kids sounds like a lot of hassle..why do we even do this to ourselves? So we won't be lonely in our old age?
I just gave my teen power to do a task that was creating lots of stress between us, and she completely calmed down, it was like a different person, but I took a lot from me to do.
My sons are 13 and 16. My younger one is very stubborn and always challenges anything I say. He will always say I’m not doing much for him and he had a very bad childhood as he was in Creche and he never had mother’s love and was always alone
My daughter is always in her room, she doesn’t spent enough time with her family.
WELL, ask yourself if you are someone you would hang out with. We need to provide guidance, love, and support. Also sometimes teens like alone time, it might not be you.
Mine too
Mine is either sleeping or pooping when she is home.
This is wild, children and parents are not equals. It's not criticism it's teaching and guiding. This is half the problem with kids nowadays.
My daughter told me that with anyone disagrees with her, she takes as personal attack including parents and her friends.
My teenage son talks back while I'm talking to him. It becomes annoying when he continuously does that...
Does it hurt your ego? Do you expect or want your son to be a deaf and dumb? Or only dumb? Why do you want to raise your child to be a labour or worker who only listen, get oppressed?
Thank you for this video I am trying so hard to break the cycle of demanding respect, as parents we have to set the example I don’t think most adults were taught how to manage our “downstairs” brain, most of us were told to just “respect me” or else, most of our respect came from fear of judgement and punishments. We have to break the cycle teenagers are amazing and fun we need to give them space to be themselves!
Daniel, these are excellent tips! My 8-year old grandson was "eavesdropping" while i was watching your video and he remarked that parents of younger children should listen to the 4 tips, too :)
That's great to hear :)
This is the best advice I can get. It makes so much sense to me. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Really good suggestions and strategies. Leads to new thinking and acting,
Thank you!
I run around for my daughter as she participates in many sports. I’m a single parent , I work long hours … she does not appreciate what I do, she talks over me , she behaves like she’s the adult and gives me orders and demands ! Sorry I can’t tolerate this. I love her , I die for her but don’t walk all over me. I agreed with some people here the covid , social media have done immense damage to these kids . I drive long hours , barely eat , move my day for her completely for her but she feels she’s entitle to it. She’ has a big mouth and talks over me. I feel so under appreciated, my life is devoted to her , but no appreciation for what I do is so discouraging. She has so much freedom but the more disrespectful she is the less I want to do for her. It feel like emotional abuse. I lived this with her dad , I feel I’m relieving that horrible marriage life I had
I am so sorry to hear that! :(( I’m in the same boat as you!
I'm so glad I found your channel. Really love your parenting tips and looking forward to watch more.
Thank you so much!
Wow. That crap about being expected to follow rules???...I give my kids more freedom than I probably should, but helloooooo....welcome to the real world!!! We allllll have to learn to follow the rules of life.
Exactly!!! This dude is delusional
I've always respected my kid, i dont have very many restrictions at home.... I give her leave to express herself and i listen and i care and i act like it.... But she actively tries to upset me all day... No matter what i do....
Because she needs structure and discipline
@@DivestedConfessions she has that more than every kid.... Air and food too. Lsr
just take the damn phone away, stop being nice. There has to be boundaries, if not she will take everything for granted and do whatever she wants. Learn to say no
I don’t believe you. You say she tries to upset you all day no matter what you do, but you admit you don’t have much restrictions at home.
Get it together as a parent you’re the authority
Hello, thank you for making these videos. My teen calls me stupid when my husband and I argue. Most of the time my partner blames me for everything, shames me calls me names and tells who taught you to be like that. This been going on for a long time now my son is a teen and disrespects me.
Thankyou so much...concrete and well articulated advice. It's a gradual process,with teens you can just focus on the moment or situation...getting over stressed over how they will turn out or their impulsive behaviours will spoil the current communication. Parents must work on being calm and ready that some things will not be in their control.
Thank you I'm really interested in it and I'm watching from Papua new guinea.
respect is earned not forced‼️ 💯
Thank you sir for the reminder
You're very welcome.
You put into words what I’ve been trying to explain to my husband, but you explain it more logically lol😅
Thank you!
Something that really frustrates me is when my teen complains, blames and criticizes other people if he doesn’t win at a game or feels he did not shine. He only says negative comments and it becomes frustrating to show him how to look at things as positive. These conversations start to escalate because I feel I cannot communicate and show him that it is not the way to speak of people
great video, really helpful tips! i gotta say though, while i appreciate the strategies, some of them seem a bit too lenient. i feel like setting firmer boundaries might be more effective in the long run. what do you think?
Very helpful 🙏🏻
Glad you think so!
Great tips ...I am actively seeking to review my approach to my son.
Great!
Excellent parenting video! Very important science-based advice
Glad you think so!
As a teen myself this is interesting to learn
Thank you for this video! Its so important for parents to evaluate their own behavior and disrespect that tends to fuel children's misbehavior. The "traditional ways" of parenting have often left children scarred, perpetuated abuse, and now we have grown adults who don't know how to model humility and kindness for their own children. For those who are willing to lay down their pride and actually contemplate their ways, this videos for you!
When she tells me that I: never listen to her, ignore her (I literally give her more attention that her brother and as a single mom I do my best), and that I don't care about her. These things ALWAYS go together and I don't know how to cope when she says them.
I don't know if I can think of just one thing. My son is very disrespectful he lies about everything (big or small). I cant trust him to do the right thing, recently caught him smoking in my home an he tried to lie about it. Its like nothing I do is good enough and I have 3 other kids that need me as well and I feel drained with just him, that i have nothing left for my other children
🙏❤️
Nice Video❤
Thank you
My son Ethan is 17 and he always gives me the cold shoulder
Thank for helpful sugestion
You're welcome.
14 yr old gets A and B's. We reward him for grades, chores etc. Wifey bought him a phone. This boy still disrespect us and gets mad when we say NO!!
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about the frustrating situation. This other video that I've created might be helpful: ruclips.net/video/TZF8yZLK2Pw/видео.html
same here...what can we do?
Worst possible thing you can do for a child or teen is buy them a phone probably
Saying he doesn't care, refuses to do anything he is asked to do and that he doesn't want to be in our family.
Mine does exactly the same.
My girlfriend treats her 14-year-old like he’s still five years old. I see it very hard for him to be an adult soon if he’s still acting and being treated like a child.
Excellent pointers!
Glad it was helpful!
Actually because of my child behaviour,I am getting frustrated and getting,dipression,, every min I am thinking of him ,he should be good person,
Spot on
Wonderful!
Thank you!
thanks!
No problem!
You are great! 👍 thank you!
You're welcome!
I’m glad I found your channel 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you!
When I ask him to be home by a certain time and he's always late with excuses.
Any suggestions on a child disrespectful because the coparent allows it? How can you navigate that when they’re getting away with it majority of the time?
Very simple just tell them different people have different rules and different tolerance levels.
I dislike the immediate arguing or denial without even thinking.
Good practical advice. No fluff.
Glad it was helpful.
my daughter drug overdosed herself 2 weeks ago because of bad friends in her gaming social media discord/twitter. I asked her to stop using her cellphone for a while until I see she is responsible to use internet appropriately. Last night she bought her own new cellphone. I don’t like her social media friends in her twitter /discord account, they keep on posting about “kill your father” & even messaging my daughter to kill her own brother. What would I do? My daughter threat me that she’ll run away if I will take her cellphone.
He will tell me to “chill out” when I am expressing that I am upset with him
My daughter don't like to listen to me or her teachers. She's rude and disrespectful. She just wanna have fun and not do school work. I've gotten so many complaints abt her in school. It's frustrating 😒
Excellent speech 👍👍👍
great video
Glad you found it helpful
Teens in the US know they have all the power because they know no matter how they speak to you that you aren't allowed to physically discipline them or you go to jail nor are you allowed to kick them out of the house until they are 18. I can only stop paying for my sons phone, get rid of video games and computer. I cant make him help around the house either because mine is so stubborn he would rather stare at 4 walls and never have phone or games again rather than do what hes asked.
Stop buying anything other than peanut butter and jelly and fruit for the house. Don't work, don't eat good food. Simple.
I try these and have for years and they don’t work on my teen. I wish. Thank you though.
What if they always in downstairs brain? Even when they are calm or when they calm and you try to have a conversation they instantly in the downstairs brain?
As parents we are preparing these kids for life. They will have bosses, managers, government regulations that they have to follow even if they work for themselves. Someone will always tell them what to do. Your boss or Uncle Sam could care less if you pout, stomp, and throw a fit. Your boss will throw you out of employment and Uncle Sam will throw your butt in jail.
Very good lacture
Thank you
How about just yelling at them and making them do what they're supposed to, you know, like my parents did. I hated it, but it worked
I tell my son to please clean his bathroom and he tells me that that’s my job that I am the mom and that’s my job.
Just don’t clean it for him and let him bear the consequences. He will be pushed to cleaning it himself.
Do less talk more actions especially with boys. Girls need more talk.
Bossing me or telling me what to do
My kids would revolt if I tried to reduce their screen time.
Just tonight, my son glared at me when I asked him to give me his phone. His room was a mess. His homework wasn’t done yet. I was being unreasonable in his view.
Until someone tells me how to fix that situation none of these ideas will help .
I got tons of YOU statements. At 57 years old I was diagnosed with a learning disability they never questioned. It was always me rather than them asking me why I struggled so hard. It was beyond my control and not the expert in neurodiversity. . I was just expected to keep up or get verbally assaulted.
This is a 15yo boy from an online community. I'm not his family. Apparently, his parents doesn't let him use social media, except for our small online server. I am 28. At first, I tried to coach him, I was respectful and all that. He didn't respond much but kept talking about his situation. He displays toxic traits like judging other ppl or saying sarcastic things to them. One day, he tried to do this to me too, and I wasn't having that and changed the topic in a dismissive way. Eventually after some more weeks, idk why but he started judging me, giving me silent treatment, then when I was writing about a bug bite in the server today, nothing serious just little daily life things, he said "...just no." I asked him to clarify what he meant, but he decided to run away with silence. :/ Super frustrating
I give him time to behave n take action but he waste time n results are at risk.. As a single mom n financialy weak so i have to remind him not to waste time n preparr well
Agreed sir❤
This sounds similar to a friendship. I get the coach mentality and the “I” statements but at some point it turns to a negotiation or a “let’s make a deal” mentality. What do you do with that? The power thing within limits, I’m a little fuzzy on that. I think that should be elaborated on much more for a better understanding.
I am quite curious. How were you raised Daniel? Did you have similar upbringing with this same message? Or did you learn this as an adult?
i have giving up the teaching . it just easy to do the work and go on. avoid frustrates . they will grown up when turn 18.
Soo true sir
Mr, I would like to ask my teens like to act suddenly by himself like the game when eating. Sometimes he suddenly shout, acting like the figures in the game... I mean he watched and remember and act out. What should I do? thx u
This is stupid
Tough love and hard nosed parenting is what kids need now more than ever. Take the phones and consoles laptops and tablets Tvs and make them earn them back w good behavior. Period
Being 43 I'm confused with some things. I might be wrong, which I have no problem with owning if I am, but what I hear is when i grew up I was to be respectful and accountable, we were raised outside then news had to remind parents they had kids at 10. Being the only child I wasn't the spoiled only child, I was the you are responsible if your friend breaks something in our house then it's on me type. Also if someone disrespects you then try to resolve, then don't entertain, then make them if they insist on harassing. But now I'm an adult I'm supposed to give my kid more power than I have in the only place I have it? When the kids now aren't accountable and believe they just are never wrong. They don't know how the world works because they grew up inside, they never lose because they get rewarded for losing and now can be disrespectful to their parents because they're no consequences? So at what point do they learn reality? In the work force, bosses aren't going to pretend they have power. If respect is not understood early then accountability for actions is not learned because that is respect in the self and from others. If respect is not learned early then understanding authority and power is not learned. So like now we have people who think they can make decisions but not the consequences, they think communication is them saying whatever they want and then ignore the other part of conversation like they do online, while they are being told mean are weak, not needed. My job as a parent is to raise a productive good person, but in order to be that you have to know who they are. You have to lose to overcome the mindset that you win all the time. You have to acknowledge mistakes to learn from them. You have to struggle to know what you are capable of when your back is against the wall. Right now you a society that nobody knows who they are but demands other people to meet expectations that they have but they aren't the weakest version of person they could be. They can't handle pressure now and end up snapping and hurting themselves or others. All because they were raised to be a false level of respect.
Yes patents do all that and stull the distespect and entitlement and swearing and refusal to do any chores etc it goes on and on.
Telling me I am not her mother, telling me she doesn't wanna live with me...
I’m right there with you
I'm getting the same treatment 😢
why it happened to us evenif we are doing our best to give them the best. sometimes i had thughts of giving up or leave
I am also a pretentious idiot. I watch crap on the media, I am a loser, I can do nothing well. You might think I insult my daughter as well. Wrong! I don't even feel like calling her names.
It was a good video.....
She says you guys never do anything for me and never love me
My Tacious girl always saying I am gonna leave home when I am getting 16. Very small reason she getting upset. She’s not listening to me and she is very disrespect. Please guide me. What should I do?
My teen girl (16) thinks there no point to say bye to her grandma because she doesn’t think there’s a point to get to know her so why say bye to her. She won’t give anyone a chance to get to know them.
i feel frustrated when my son use vulgar languages on me, cover his ears when i just want to say something to him, stay in his room most of the time to avoid me ...:( i feel so hopeless on him ever will talk to me anymore....sighz
Nah. I'm just not going to put up with the disrespect. She can stay with her mother and have a wonderful life
I'm sure that is a much better option than prioritizing your relationship with her and treating her like a human being.
If you are not sick, this option to be evasive to the responsibility to raised a teenager and build deeper bonding is maybe more inside of the comfort zone.
That is also a lesson for a teenager when a parent doesn't wanna deal with them, the feeling of rejection will have a cost for you and the teenager.
@@mylifewithaspiehubby it is of no cost to me. Her mother alienated her from me after I got married. She comes here and creates absolute hell, turns my home upside down. I will pick up when she is grown. It will cost her and it will be her mother's fault. No way I'm going to deal with the headache of kissing my own kids ass and her mother's ass.
You will regret missing this time when she is grown up and you are old and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.
@@cleander97 I doubt that but if I do it's just a choice and a trade off. Hopefully she will see the way her mother is when she grows up.
he says "shut the hell up or I'll slap the shit out of you" and in my anger i responded with "i will do that too." and then i had to leave the room so i wouldn't scream... did i do something wrong here? - genuinely worried
Low grades i have issues with them
Average 3 hours on tiktok, late homework, lazy, doesn't clean their room or shower. Where do you start with that? Lol
The wild thing about all of this is the concept of a teenager is a post WW2 concept and through most of human history there were two phases in life, pre-puberty and post. Once you went through puberty you were viewed as an adult and expected to act as one.
Yes, I learned about this a while back and I find it interesting too. It's interesting that there were even powder monkeys a few hundred years ago!
Don't look me in the eye or try to look at their phone while I'm talking.
Cutting me off in conversation, I know…I know …are you done now.