Are You an Attractive Introvert? |
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- A community-organizing forum where targets of workplace bullying can share experiences in a support group so you can know
1. You’re not crazy. Workplace bullying is real, and your feelings are valid.
2. You’re not alone. Unfortunately, others have experienced the same thing.
If my words resonate with you, please subscribe, turn on notifications, like and share my videos, and comment.
Read my 116-page essay in five parts on workplace bullying on my website.
• Workplace Bullying Part I: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part II: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part III: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part IV: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part V: www.clairehunt...
#workplacebullying #narcissism #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #NPD #narcissisticabuse #clairehunt #clairehuntonline
Yes, I believe my introversion comes from me knowing that not everybody deserves to see my full personality. It can definitely show you who is genuine and who is a narcissist right away.
You become the shining object they have to dominate and conquer. People are crazy 😂
yessssssss
@@gjinkalla23this is exactly how some men have treated me lol
I attracted a lot of attention when I was at work, I never wanted it, some were offended by it. The horrible thing is that if you’re an introvert and focused on your work, they easily spread their poison of rumors and lies and ruin your reputation. I have a ptsd from this.
Usually when I tried to match the energy of people like this I felt dirty and like I lost my integrity. I didn't even like myself then. You gain nothing by being like them, you are very much right that it's spiritually corrupted and polluted. Good on you for keeping your river clean.
Yes, I've spoken many times about how a workplace bullying environment feels like a cholera ward. It's a cesspool. It's so disgusting it affects you physically. You feel as though you have been slimed, and you can't shower enough when you get home. In my essay on workplace bullying, I wrote that, once, I decided to fight fire with fire and clap back. I could literally see my bullies' tails curl between their legs. Pathetic cowards. But I also felt dirty and disgusting. It wasn't worth it. I know that we all wish we had responded differently to the bullying, but, really, the best reaction is no reaction. Never give these people what they want.
Very true. I cannot backstab, lie and land smear campaigns or rejoined about someone infortune to make me feel better which is a negative thing in this society
Same. I was even thinking if i fot to trip up one and deny it totally and get away with it that it would have a horrible effect on me. I ‘d ve the damaged one.
31 year old healthy black man hear 6 1 in height. shes not lying about anything at all. your problems are automatically not taken as serious cause of haters on the job
Aww hope it gets better for you king 💗
@@miahlove1753 thank you for the positivity, real talk. i wish you mad wealth b.
As soon as you said that narcs' eyes turn black, I knew I wasn't the only one who sees it. It's really scary.
Yes. Shark eyes. It’s the demon in them
@@clairesweeney4334 That is an interesting way of putting it.
They are unfortunately everywhere these days and you can pick them out of a group easily,and when they know you're on to them they treat you like your the bad one. Yes they always need supply..they are sadists
Im an attractive introvert meaning people think I do modelling or project many things on me while I’m simple and drama free which annoys them as there’s nothing to use against me
7:45 It didn’t feel like admiration to me either, but thinking back I can see how obsessed they were. They assumed I didn’t like them…..and they were correct I didn’t like them and I knew I was too good for them. I knew they were weird and further give me a reason and I received it as confirmation.
LIFE IS SPIRITUAL…. ITS ALL SPIRITUAL WAREFARE…. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. YOU’VE GAINED A SUBSCRIBER. ❤
The black/dead eyes thing is real. Soulless eyes.
One of my supervisors
I only had one boss with the dead, soulless eyes and monotone voice. 'The death warmed up' type, he was S.S. Officer type cold and nasty with it. If you pointed out what he was saying wasn't justified and what he was doing wasn't right he would just stare at you and tilt his head from side to side; it was like being in a horror movie and confronting some ghoul or demon. It was horrible. It was my first big job in a merchant bank and it was one awkward person after the other. This was a workplace in London with HQ based in a country which lets just say 'didn't have a great human rights' history so let that be a lesson to us all if you are entering such a place, it was a magnet for weirdos and narcs.
Yes it is
"They're nerds. They have no game" 🤣 not you casually roasting again
😂❤
Worked in a very toxic large corporate environment for decades. I’m personally exhausted by people in general. Seen enough in my lifetime to know who is authentic and who is fake, who is peaceful and who is chaotic.
I started watching you when I realized that I was a victim on workplace bullying a few months ago. I recently graduated college and started working my first big girl job last August and have been miserable. A few weeks ago I put in my 2 weeks later. I will never again ignore the red flags and I will never let anyone treat me this way again!!
I never put 2 weeks notice lol. I just leave
Good for you for knowing your worth and putting you first!! That energy will serve you well going forward. These parasitic predators only feed off of preexisting low self-esteem, self-loathing, and lack of self-worth. If you truly know your worth, it makes it a lot harder for them to take you down. Sorry you had to experience trial by fire, but chalk it up to a life lesson that opened your eyes so that you can better protect yourself in the future.
At least you recognized it early. I tried for a long time to see other people's perspectives and it was just a waste of time. I was getting bullied because I was different and my low self esteem coworkers felt that I was better than them. Took me years to realize it would have never worked out anyway. So good on you for putting in your two weeks notice early on. I just wish we could do something about this because it really is a problem in so many workplaces.
What you said around @4:51 still gives me the chills. Their eyes. I never noticed why I felt so nervous around my previous boss. But as time went on and especially as she couldn’t mask well anymore I caught her giving me the stare down out of the corner of my eye. Once she told me and some other coworkers her favorite thing to do during meeting was watch my face because it is so expressive. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I’ll never forget the look she gave me on my last day of work - still haunts me. Now that I look back I can see that look in her eyes especially in pictures. It’s like nothing is there. I felt like prey at times and that she wanted to rip me apart but it was so confusing because she would be “nice” so I had no evidence. Thanks for talking about this. I feel like dealing with narcissistic people at work is very difficult because it’s harder to detect than in family or other relationships. They can try to hold you back in your career and spread lies. It was hard to leave because I had a steady paycheck and good benefits.
@@Liz-wz8dhwhat's hard sometimes is some of these low self esteem people project a personality of high confidence. It can take time to see beyond that surface.
If you are good looking, when you first walk into a job and see a bunch of ugly people, just quit right there, it will never be a comfortable situation for you. In my case, I had obese 50 year old women who were coworkers try to make advances towards me. Shut it down immediately then they started hating on me. The male coworkers I had would hate because women would come into the job and flirt with me all the time. The hate from other men is never overt because they’re scared what could happen to them physically, it’s always behind your back or a subliminal.
The funny thing is I never saw myself as "good-looking," which I mentioned in this video. I've always seen myself as average, but the reactions from other people everywhere I went were so over the top that I began to wonder if I was an alien from outer space or an animal in a zoo. I often do not even realize that people are flirting with me. I generally don't find insults very attractive. They sure don't handle rejection very well, do they? Yes, most of this stuff is so passive-aggressive you can't call them on it. If you do, you look like the crazy person, which is what they want.
@@clairehuntonline In their minds, they look at it as this person doesn’t want to be with me in that way, this person is a narcissist, this person only cares about looks, this person is judgemental. Then it morphs into this person is evil, this person is the devil, I will take this person down. They just can’t accept the fact that someone not wanting to be best friends with them, is because they have their own life and own friends from before they got to the job lol. Their grandiosity is just that out of control. They can’t accept that someone is not attracted to them, they can’t handle the self reflection . They just go into a perpetual state of sabotage until it’s them and their drug , or liquor of choice, surrounded by other alcoholics who won’t remind them of how pathetic they’ve become.
Honestly, if you're the odd one out anywhere then you will probably become the target of bullying and be ostracized. If you instantly see everyone at a job who you just know you dont have a lot in common with and probably wont get along then its probably best not to even start that job. And that doesnt just go for jobs, I apply that to neighborhoods and friend groups as well. It probably sounds really prejudice saying that but it is how it is. I want to be friends with all kinds of people, and obviously not everyone is bad but Im tired of being peoples punching bag and apologizing for things I have no control over like my 'privilege'.
@@viviandaviss It never starts out that way. The sociopaths in the workplace mirror you and pretend to like what you like, as do people in your friends group. You will only be enlightened to this as you get older, I’m talking mid to late 30’s and up. That’s when you’ll have a real grasp on how these people manipulate and snake through life. You think these people are cool with you then they start doing or saying weird backhanded things out of nowhere.
@@mikejones9906 yeah ik what u mean, some people are real sly and good at pretending. I prefer the people who are up front with the disrespect from day 1 so you know where you stand with them 😂
Now that I’ve gotten through my trauma, I have to fight in order to maintain my own energy 😒. It’s like you say, people act like you owe them something.
It’s like no, I’m doing you a favor by ignoring you, so do me the same favor and leave me the hell alone.
Yes, they are so entitled. They even feel entitled to your body. Zero respect for human bodily autonomy, which is literally a universal human right. The more you protect and preserve your energy and your boundaries, the more it enrages them. I've spoken many time about their nasty, taking energy. Their whole lives are about taking other people's stuff because they never learned to just source everything they want and need internally.
You should watch the movie Malena. My most aggressive bullies were always old men. They would lash out if they perceived my behavior as "rude" or if I didn't smile enough in their presence. They would try to humiliate me publicly and insult my intelligence (especially in the presence of other men). However, they'd simultaneously harass me by winking at me, touching me without my permission, and slowly looking up and down my body (I don't know if this was an intimidation tactic or what) or making inappropriate comments. Sometimes I felt like I was in an episode of Mad Men or something. Older women were also cruel and launched smear campaigns against me or actively attempted to get me fired. I am more quiet and reserved..so they my behavior as rude or as a "rejection" of them probably
this happened to me at my restaurant job all the time!! old men would make fun of me and whenever i would just try to ignore them they would just gag me and it got so bad i had to quit. my parents think i keep walking out on all my jobs but the bullying is so bad i can’t stand it.
I'm so sorry to hear about what you have experienced. A viewer on my "Pretty Privilege" video also recommended "Malena." I am aware of it, but I think it might be too triggering for me. I was there for decades. I said in the "Pretty Privilege" video that I don't think I've ever met a straight man in my life who was capable of approaching me without insults. Most men insult me the minute they meet me. At the risk of being ageist, old men are the worst. They really view women as objects who exist only to service THEIR needs. That's why you have to "smile" to make them feel good - because it's just all about them and what they want. You are not an individual, independent human being with your own thoughts and feelings. Their insecurity is pathetic. I think it's ironic that men demand respect, but they always behave in such an immature, childish, juvenile, and infantile way that it is impossible to respect them.
@@clairehuntonlineyou’re analysis is great.
@@clairehuntonline I agree. I've seen this in older men as well. It's like they have a certain programming. "You need to smile more" or "Just smile" is something I've heard repeatedly. It's objectification. They're not even thinking about you.
Oh my god... Malena AND Dogville are showing what I have experienced so often in life by almost everyone!!! I just cried watching those movies out of frustration and trauma...
People in my personal life have asked me why is it every job I get I have issues or think people are bullying me. I've experienced all of this. One girl hated me from day one and everyday she went to the manager about me even though I was doing my job. One day I asked her a question and she was a lead but she didn't want me speaking to her so she banged her head against the wall. She used to ask people why they liked me. But this has been my experience at 75% of jobs I've had.
I'm sorry to hear that. People who have not experienced workplace bullying firsthand just do not get it, and they never will. They always think you're the problem, and the gaslighting is out of control. Even your loved ones do not believe you. It's all calculated to make you look "crazy." That's why there really need to be forums where targets of workplace bullying can get the support they need.
This is why I chose to major in Computer Science - so I can interact less with people and work remotely. Software development is a male-dominated field. I'm not sure to what extent that would be a problem. I did take some courses at a community college in the past and was fortunate that I didn't experience any social issues as one of the few women in my classes. I study online at a school where there is no interaction with other students and minimal interaction with faculty.
That's so funny. I was called " dull and boring", that was the best comment I have ever received from a toxic bag of s...t. Haha...
Attractive introvert lol good luck! Honestly appreciate your work.
Getting harassed is annoying.
Black eyes this is funny because there's no only way to describe it.
The entitlement for your attention is ridiculous with the parasocical relationships are just delusional.
The funny way of showing it was abuse and bullying disgusting.
I lost my job last month as a Wildland fire fighter. I was workplace mobbed and bullied. I cri ed a lot a month ago then again today. I just decided to watch more of your videos; I like how you call bullshit what it is and that makes me feel stronger.
This feeling of needing a crystal ball could also accurately portray the frustration neurodivergent folks have with neurotypical behavior. So I hope that some neurodivergent people listen to you, you may not realize that you are casually pushing back against a very large, rather sick majority in society who are not emotionally mature enough to self reflect and realize that others are not like them and also don't have to be.
I receive quite a few comments from non-neurotypical people, and I might be one myself. That is what my next video will be about. You can literally hear my frustration in almost every video with indirect communication. I have verbal skills and legitimate needs, so I can always communicate clearly and directly. I fail to see why others can't do the same. And I should not be bullied everywhere I go for 30 years for not reading people's minds.
This is literally the BS I was dealing with in college and in the work place cus they are looking for someone to react to their immature nonsense and get in some kind of physically altercation with them but I don’t roll around with pigs on the floor fighting. They hate that I ignore them instead of stooping to their level. They love to attack my personality as well. They don’t like the way I walk or talk and I’m like ok you know you don’t have to talk to me right? I don’t police your verbiage cus I don’t care so step off of mine. This is why I switched to online college cus I refused to let anyone prevent me from graduating with a degree so I can move as far as possible from these people. Not the culture I want to be around. Very toxic!
This happened to me omg disgusting behaviour I do the same
I've had the experience of being constantly harrassed because I'm more introverted. Generally when I just try to be noncomittal and distant with coworkers, it just makes them hararss and bully me more. It's ridiculous. When I start criticizing the way they run the workplace, suddenly I'm the problem. It's exhausting.
The harassment is actually the most painful part of the bullying for me. They do it because they know you don't like it. If you have an energy of wanting to be left alone, sick people will deliberately violate your boundaries because they know it bothers you. They think it's funny and a game. It also feeds them supply. Even if you don't react on the surface, they still know you are disturbed internally, and they get a kick out of it. A lot of the bullying in the workplace is what I call "forced socialization." You should never be forced to engage with people who do not have your best interest at heart. People who are not comfortable with silence are not at peace with themselves.
@@clairehuntonline Yep. I'm glad to see it's not just a US thing: ruclips.net/video/GuOhxdDSQHY/видео.html
@@clairehuntonline Yep.
@@clairehuntonlinethat is very true. In situations like that Have you ever gotten angry and lashed out at the people deliberately trying to press your boundaries and push your buttons? If so, what did you say to them and how did they react? I know a female co-worker that just did this and it turned out strange to say the least .
You explain the underlying processes/motivations extremely well. You certainly have a talent for psychology. Some Phd holding psychologists have just memorized the lessons and have no sense for what really happens in toxic interpersonal relationships. You do. ❤
Claire, you’re missing a huge one and it’s called alcoholism. You would be surprised how many of these people have a drink or two before work. That’s the cause of the irrational anger and weird behavior most of the time.
And drugs too. They do drugs occasionally
@@gjinkalla23 Yea but the hard drugs are too hard to mask.
I've spoken in MANY videos about the substance abuse, including alcoholism. I was raised by an alcoholic and can spot them from a mile away. The drug use may be prescription. Illegal drugs are out. Prescription meds are in. A lot of these people are mixing some kind of prescription med with alcohol, which you're not supposed to do. You can tell because it gives them this particularly hard, glaring glint in their beady eyes. They look severe and harsh.
And then they judge people who have gotten out of addiction and became healthy.
@@Mpxyzm2by Yes, they have to dehumanize you in order for them to justify what they do. That’s why they will look for any bit of dirt they can get on you. The scary part is they don’t have any reason to do what they’re doing, it’s like they have a hidden vendetta against the human race. it’s a very debilitating illness but luckily for them, they’re able
To hide it when they have to.
The personality disorders are protected. Managers above them know they are vicious, so they do nothing to desl with them, they are a protected species
lmao, the way you worded this 😂😂😂 all jokes aside, it’s sadly true. i’ve had managers high on coke, drunk, high on pills, and those were always the protected ones regardless of getting caught high on the job several times. weird.
Claire, I’m in tears! You said, “You are a mirror that exists to reflect their own energy back to them” this has been my lot in life since I’ve been born! I was socialized this way by authoritarian parents, I naturally have a gentle nature so I didn’t take much breaking in childhood, and I’ve carried this into adulthood. I’ve always been passive and a doormat as a way of disarming people but I don’t “exist” as a result, if that makes sense. I’m just discovering who I am at 29. I was this way and let bullshit new age love and light spiritual bypassing communities keep me stuck with the belief that I’m just a mega super giga empath starseed light mama lol. When truly I’ve made the biggest shifts with pain, true spirituality is both light and dark and sometimes it’s really painful. I’m going through a painful stretch right now and I feel like that’s why I’ve come across your blunt no nonsense videos that keep picking at my old wounds and making me say “ouch”. My progress has brought me to you. A couple of nights ago I randomly woke up at 3 in the morning and just started sobbing, and I thought about your words from another video in that moment. I was so upset with myself for having been passive and hiding myself and a people pleaser, and for allowing everyone to dump on me so that I could hurt and cry and heal their wounds for them. I don’t mind helping people heal as an actualized empath but on my own terms, I want to consciously heal the wound when I choose to, not be projected on to and then unconsciously feel heavy and burdened with the pain of others.
All that to say, thank you so much and you are doing amazing work. So much of what you say applies to people in contexts even outside of the workplace ❤
I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I feel how much pain this has caused you. Truthfully, at 29 you are experiencing your Saturn return right now. It's brutal for anyone. I have been waking up every night at 3, too!! That's the witching hour. Must be something going on in the collective. I like some New Age ideas but, overall, find them simplistic. You can do positive affirmations and "manifest" until you are blue in the face, but, ultimately, you have no control over other people. I'm a triple Pisces and actually a very tender, gentle, codependent doormat. I know exactly how it feels to be everyone's trash can, the universal dumpmaster. I know I have a mission of healing others. I just want to do it voluntarily, not by force. It takes a feat of Hercules to get our spiritual guards and protection sky-high to fight that stuff off, and cleanse like your life depends on it if anything gets past your boundaries.
I’m 29 too and going through an insane amount of pain and light and darkness and healing. Just getting out of the light and love spirituality too after being a hedonist and before that being adopted by an abusive baptist family. We’re doing this all together 😭 thanks for sharing, it helps to know there’s other people my age doing this shit too 💕
@@elliekusneske5633 Yeah you’re not alone ❤️ I was raised by a Baptist family too, and they were very authoritarian so I’m shedding that right along with you. I too round refuge in the love and light grift community because it was a lot more optimistic and gentle than the way I was raised but it does not encourage autonomy, self governance, and discernment. Growing pains, but we got this 😊
@@Astr0629 It really has nothing to do with how you were brought up, it’s the fact that you’re sane. The Narc has a very special skill and that’s the ability to take a perfectly sane person and have them question themselves. If you have any positive traits, they’re going to attack you because you have to remember these people suffer from paranoia, so they think everyone’s trying to steal their position, everyone’s talking trash behind their back etc. Essentially, because they’re fake, they believe everyone else is fake. You cannot change the perception of someone who’s delusional and paranoid. You can only escape these people by controlling your environment. As empaths we’re fools, because we believe people change for the better and we can help them. The first thing you have to do, is STOP helping people, stopping giving them advice, stop letting people borrow money, stop trying to be friends with people etc. Do not help anyone, you have to resist that urge UNTIL you can create healthy boundaries for yourself.
Sometimes there is no other way for us women than being passive! Or else we die, get physically hurt or become homeless! Also people like us get sucked dry by those energy vampires so we have no energy left to deal with all those attacks which often come out of nowhere, they plot in many hidden ways. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes silent patience pays out. Maybe the won many battles but we win the last war!!! They even cry when we leave them hanging in their hate and rise and thrive in life somewhere else, it comes as a surprise for THEM! They can eat it.
Ive struggled with my career for these reasons. Each workplace team was similar in that everyone wanted to know me and i was very selective + introverted, which translated to them that I had no interest in anything or anyone, which then made the workplace unbearable over time with unnecessary drama, forcing me further into my introvert self. Many times I had to pinch pennies to get by and I've had too many jobs at this point to count. I have been working for myself a few years making a very modest income and living simply- until i figure out what to do next. Thank you
I feel you. It is interesting that the more I was bullied, the more introverted and avoidant I became. These people must have really believed that they could actually BULLY me into engaging with them. "Honey catches more flies than vinegar." If they had met me on my level with respect, equality, and peace, I would have gladly engaged for hours. At this point I've been pushed so far inside myself that you could not get me to open up with the jaws of life. Part of the legacy of narcissistic abuse is "low bandwidth," and I no longer have the energy to engage with other people even if I wanted to, and I don't.
Claire, you perfectly broke the depiction of workplace bullies all the way down! You get it! You are refreshingly rare. It would be amazing if you held conferences on this topic. I believe so many people would feel understood, supported and relieved...just a thought.😊
💯 she makes sense out of the nonsense we've experienced
Not sure about conferences, but I've wanted for years to do a TED talk. I think that would start a much-needed conversation about workplace bullying, which is destroying lives all over the planet. If TED ever comes to my town, I hope I get to speak. Meanwhile, I am working with the people behind the Workplace Psychological Safety Act. They do organize events and support groups that you can attend.
@@clairehuntonline I can definitely see you speaking on this at a TED talk. I will check out the workplace psychological safety act. Thanks for sharing and uploading great content!
i love this no sugarcoating 🤣
I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through without your essays and videos. No one I spoke to really had solid knowledge or advice on workplace bullies. I am 100% an attractive introvert. I dislike drama and any unnecessary attention. I am highly professional and will work overtime to get it done and to get it right. My entire life, my mantra has been, "why won't people just let me do my work" because I LOVE my work and I love TO work. I think this may be part of the bully problem...
I can relate
Well, they won't let you work because that's not what they want. It's not about work. It never is. It's all about "personality." You are not engaging with them energetically. They don't want "professional." They want "messy." They need the drama to work out all of their toxicity through you. It's honestly just pathetic.
Yes 😂 and also why don’t people stop talking to me while I’m in the middle of moving a 100lb box? Or stop trying to use me for a mood pick me up Or positive energies. That’s so annoying.
It is never about performance. They not only want you to lose your job in current employment, they don't want you to find s job anywhere else. They are white collar criminals destroying livelihoods and children's future.
Ditto.
I am male and think I’m being bullied because I’m shy, introverted, neurodivergent and good looking (or so I’ve been told but I struggle with low self image). I think people mistake my reserved, shy nature for arrogance and also I don’t really fit the stereotypical masculine mold.
I’ve always been an easy target for narcissistic bullies because I’m an empath and a loner
Yes, they do. Introverts are always misinterpreted as arrogant, especially if they are attractive. You are also bullied for being different - not in conformance with stereotypical heteronormative gender roles. Finally, you are bullied for being isolated. Everyone else sacrifices their integrity to fit in because they are so terrified of being bullied.
@@clairehuntonline it’s very hard being a “soft” man. If not for my supportive wife and son, I’d have probably killed myself years ago. I’m not a good fit for this world.
Can you make a video on after you leave the work place? I felt more at peace however ive had ppl try to contact me and others telling me about continued gossip about me. How am i the topic of discussion after months of being gone, especially from ppl i never had a relationship with?
I will think about that. What you are experiencing is the workplace bullying technique of "stalking," and I have a video on that. The worst stalking actually comes AFTER they have eliminated you, and I explain why in the video. In the meantime you might want to do some cord-cutting. There are free cord-cutting meditations here on RUclips.
Yes whatever it is it's not human. Whatever they are influenced by that is.
You’re not in the field of psychology but you could’ve fooled me. Also your humor is delightfully entertaining 😂 Love your videos.
Ariana, what are you doing here?!?
You have a great personality! Fellow attractive introvert who just wants to do the damn job. 😕
If you ever had a narcissistic abuser in your private relationships, they also usually quite like you.
They copy everything you do, say and wear... I am sure they would wear your skin if they had the opportunity.
Gold. You go deep for the truth most experts won’t touch.
Yes! The black eyes. I’ll never forget those eyes glaring at me from across the table. The false light was instantly dimmed, and it was just pure darkness at that point. Once you see, you cannot unsee.
Yes it’s hard when you’re expected to be like Kelly Kapowski when ur more like screech. I just wanna be left alone tbh wish I saw this channel last year. The entire workplace was jealous of me and came up with a vendetta and i got fired 😂 they were that threatened by little ol me. Not just the workplace, it’s everywhere for me! Family, relationships, jobs etc. But it just confirms my personal power. 🤷🏾♀️ entrepreneurship is for me anyway.
Sorry to hear about what happened to you. I'm glad you are focusing on the positive about it. Yes, sometimes, bullying is kind of a validation. If you didn't have positive qualities, no one would come after you. As they say, "If you got haters, that means you're doing something right." If entrepreneurship is possible for you then more power to you.
Excellent. Reality is quiet grave without boundaries
I also like that you acknowledge the role of trauma in dysfunctional people. It's very accurate. Narcissism is pretty much defined by needing others to stabilize your self-esteem and function as a container of their emotions, so they need to be enmeshed with others too. For borderline this is true, too. I realized that I have some of these issues too but I'm glad that I can recognize them most of the time and not react so much like I used to in the past. I think it should be something like a responsibility in society to get emotionally mature. There should be laws again psychological abuse etc. It's not okay that we just let these things run its course and claim it's natural for people or something. We need to evolve.
"Hurt people hurt people." It's true that these people are monumentally screwed up. They are in desperate need of counseling, but there is a mental health crisis - not only in this country but all over the world. Part of the gaslighting of targets of workplace bullying is that "that's just the way the world is" and "that's just how people are." Beyond cliche. The same people who gaslight with platitudes like that simultaneously call me "negative." Well, I'm not a bully, and I'm a person. So, no, that's not just how people are. It never did anyone any good to just accept things the way that they are. You are right: we need to evolve. Otherwise, what is the point?
I've also experienced bully/demonic individuals at work who might not have had black/blank eyes (though one certainly did), but some who made demonic sounds. One growled (and was female); another (when she stood behind me, while training at a computer) was panting like a devil (almost hyperventilating, but I sensed extreme hostility, rather than fear, and I hadn't said a thing to her). I was truly afraid of having her breathing down my neck...because I felt like she was trying to put a curse on me or might harm me from behind. She was absolutely FULL OF BILE and gaslit me for the duration of my 2 years at that firm (she'd delete my work from the server and then claim she didn't touch a thing - when no one but the two of us needed to/or could access certain information). She then put the data back, and then called me "crazy." It was literally straight out of the movie Gaslight. In retrospect, I'm stunned that I survived this period. And it was years of sh-t like this. It never happened to me in college, but this petty jealous sh-t has occurred in every single office space I've worked in. Normally, it's 1 (maybe 2) individuals, mostly women, who do this to me. All have some issue with not having a higher education, so I get targeted the minute they get a whiff of my credentials. Nothing AT ALL I can do about that. No one should apologize for having degrees they earned with their own sweat and blood (and own money). I was a working student forever. Not one penny of tuition was paid by my parents, and what these demonic women also knew was that I was (and am) a cancer survivor, so the fact that I was targeted for abuse, despite their knowing this fact, makes them even more evil.
Terrible! When they try standing too close or do that hovering over thing, I stand up and say pardon me I need to go to the restroom or something like that.
They don't care. Absolutely zero empathy. Your past experiences mean nothing to them because, as far as they're concerned, you don't have a past. You never existed before they met you. Their myopic egocentricity is unparalleled. I mention that in my video entitled, "Every Workplace Bully Thinks They Are Your First" (not grammatically correct ... typo ... it stays). Deleting files is sabotage, and I have a video on that. I also have a video ("Back Up Your Work") that stresses the importance of making copies of everything. If I ever work in an office again, I am taking screenshots of literally everything I do and saving them on some kind of personal drive. It's sad, but "desperate times ...." That woman heavy-breathing at you reminds me of a closeted narcissistic boss who embraced me in a bear hug from behind so she could show me something on my computer. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I could literally feel her chest heaving into my back. That was actually a sexual assault. So disgusting it's unreal.
@@Naturallywench LOL. I was certainly creeped out. I turned around, initially, and asked her if she was ok. At first, I couldn't tell if she was panting because she felt faint, but then I heard her sort of hyperventhilating, and I know that's from stress or anger, or repressed rage. I had no choice but to continue to do the work, because she was the only person, at that moment, who could train me, but I was immediately aware that she resented having to help me. And that was like...the first week of my employment. I knew it was trouble early on, but I liked the partner I was working for, so i tried hard to ignore her...to no avail....sadly.
You are soooo FUNNY! But brutally honest, I looooove the sarcasm and broad vocabulary."NO more drama. Mary j" "enough drama for multiple lifetimes, you're cooked can put a fork in you. AINT THAT THE TRUTH!!!💯💯😩 A lot of narcs stalking this, prolly can't even keep up sadly with your word choice. Plot twist on them.
Thank you!! Do you really think narcissists are watching my channel? I can't imagine why they would. They have no interest in personal growth. I've always assumed that all of my bullies are long gone and have forgotten about me.
@@clairehuntonline Well they're watching😂, and keep the videos coming💯
I also believe that when we talk about narcissistic or narcisstistic abuse. we are not meant to talk in clinical, professional terms, as we are lay persons. We just need words to describe things. We shouldn't be held to the same standards as therapists and professionals.
I have never heard workplace bullying described this way and it makes so much sense. In the two years since I left a long term workplace, my brain has been in hamster wheel mode trying to understand the dynamics that led me to leave, and this explains it more than anything else. It also helps me to understand why I still get a creepy feeling when running into certain former co-workers, and the panic I have recently felt when continuing to bump into a former co-worker who seems to always unexpectedly pop up in places I frequent. Thank you for helping to give voice to this experience so that I can continue to find peace and safety in my professional world.
You're welcome. If you are running into former coworkers, they might be stalking you. Stalking is one of the workplace bullying techniques I have identified, and I have a video on it. One of the worst times for stalking is actually AFTER they have eliminated you, and I explain that in the video. You are also ruminating. It's common. That's a trauma response. It's so draining. That's why I have this channel: I figure things out, so you don't have to. These people don't deserve any more free rent in your mind.
Hi Claire!
New subscriber here! Love the term you coined "Poor spiritual hygeine" Brilliant! I'm on my way to work, didn't get a chance to watch this whole video, and will do it later. I'm catching up on all of your videos. Claire, remember being pretty and introverted makes you a target because people assume introverts are arrogant. We are comfortable with people or not, so people mistake this with being conceited. Demons are real. This type of viciousness can't come with human nature alone. Demons add to it
I strongly believe you are meant to have your business which this RUclips channel is
You are so clever & witty! You speak the truth and still make me laugh with your humour. You just get it. I wish I had a friend like you in the workplace.
You have hit the nail on the head! Wow… did I resonate with this video. No one has put it like this and it has just “clicked” in my head. This situation happens to a T with me and some “friends” - or frenemies should I say. They keep pushing me to see if I’ll play their game, and when I don’t bite I get shamed/manipulated/remarks made; all because I try and earnestly engage to the best of my abilities each time. I’ve found it’s only ever by women, for me personally. Honestly, it seems like it’s always me they go for, too. I don’t want to make myself smaller, or diminish my skill and talent to make other people around me feel comfortable. I constantly lift up and celebrate those around me, unashamedly, why can’t the fellow women around me do the same? Thank-you for your video, and letting me vent here.
Thank you for letting me vent!! Sometimes, that's all we can do. These people never change, and we have no control over them. They hate you for not being as dark, ugly, and nasty as they are. They could take advantage of the opportunity to be inspired by you, evolve, uplevel, and do better. But they don't respect you so believe that you should be subordinate to them. Spiritually, you're not, and that's what they hate.
I’m very aloof and detached in the workplace. I’ve learned to be like that after years of bullying, and rejection at work. I KNOW spiritually that these people can’t stand me. I’m also a psychic empath, but they don’t know that😏
They might, actually. Not on a conscious level, but they can pick up on it. One of my theories about workplace bullying is that, most often, the target of workplace bullying is an empath or an HSP. They always target the most sensitive person in the workplace. People who have something to hide DO NOT like people who see right through them. Even if you don't let on, they know you know. Your energy gets too close to the mask.
Claire i have had so many experiences of people trying to bring me down, it’s beyond words, including those trained in therapy. I’m a cheery, chatty, helpful, open type.
Claire, I LOVE your personality! ❤ You make me feel less alone in this weird world.
Can you talk about the psychic ability of narc. They seem to always know when you are down and they use that to their advantage (even when they are not in your presence it’s like they have a 6th sense).
I did. It's in my video entitled, "A Narcissist Is an Empath in Fall." Everyone says that narcissists have "no empathy," but they have enough empathy to know that they are hurting you. A lot of narcissists who abused me in my life very clearly had some kind of intuitive ability. They do not use it to heal. They abuse it in order to manipulate. They actually hate that about themselves. Their sensitivity was just so painful for them that they killed it off. You have been able to retain yours, and that's what they hate about you.
Many of these dark people have entity attachments. Their psychic ability comes from the entity working through them. The entity feeds off the sadness and pain of others and sometimes the host itself. People who are hosted will always attack when you are vulnerable. That is something they know how to do almost reflexively.
Where do we start for more awareness of this? Or is it even worth it at this point before AI arrives and replaces everones job.
Love the videos, lol
Firstly, I love your channel. It is an absolute fact that being an attractive person has way more disadvantages and our dumb ass society perpetuates the opposite. I’ve had the disadvantage of being an attractive introvert. I’ve always been labeled as a snob and have been treated like an airhead before I would even have a chance to speak and when I would speak, my ideas were oftentimes dismissed and insulted, and than later copied by the exact same people who insulted me in the first place. You’re an air sign like me. We definitely don’t get the credit we deserve when it comes to spirituality. Thank you for your content. Your voice is very, VERY much needed.
Yep! Same here, it’s so bad I pretty much left “leadership” and don’t want to ever go back.
Thank you for your kind words. Sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Don't you just love that the same people who disrespect you are simultaneously obsessed with you, stalking you, and copying you? Love and hate are closely allied. Their inability to contain themselves is astonishing.
@@clairehuntonline the copying part is what gets me! Like, they really have no shame! Do they think their target and others don’t notice? 😂 gotta laugh at these nuts sometimes to keep from getting upset!
@@Naturallywench you’re both absolutely right! The worst part is when the bully who copies has a ton of flying monkeys that all go along with what the bully says and does and with that try to do everything they can to claim everything they take from you as their own. So even if others around do notice that the bully literally stole your work and identity, they’ll all go along with it because their plan is to eliminate their target. They all roll in packs.
So true, I felt like I was their therapist and model. Not an employee and definitely not a colleague
Your channel has truly been a godsend for me and has helped me process my experiences in both work and school life. I have served as a cesspool for the projections of others because of my introversion. Looking at my chart, I have my Sun, Rising, Venus, and North Node in Pisces in the 12th house. My Mercury is in the 12th house as well, but in the sign of Aquarius.
Thanks for sticking your neck out and sharing your wisdom on the matter of bullying in the workplace. I don't personally know anyone who has been able to relate to me on this matter and that has only compounded my feelings of isolation.
I truly wish you the best.
Thank you, fellow Aqua/Pisces! I have an Aquarius Mercury and am a triple Pisces, too. I do have a video on narcissism in astrology, in which I also discuss the astrology of the bullied. You know: you might check out the work of journalist Matt Taibbi. He has all the same placements as you! The projection onto Piscean people is REAL.
@@clairehuntonline he has a Capricorn moon as well. This is hilarious. I see he has also done some whistleblowing because he knows it's for the greater good, even at great personal risk to himself. I am shocked you just knew that he and I had the same planets! It's interesting to see Mercury in Aquarius people talk; now I really see how I come across to people. 😂
Thank you so much for showing in my feed, in the middle of this video and instant subscribe. Hitting a nail after nail in the head.... Many channels talk about these sort of issues but the way you describe it is next level and yet so simple and grounded at the same time, and I love the bonus of swear words. You are my favorite youtuber now, legend 🙏
Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for watching!!
What’s your moon sign 😂😂 you definitely have some Virgo placements too
She has to
Great video Claire! I notice you get the most rude and demeaning comments about your physical appearance on your attractiveness videos but these same people are nowhere to be found on your other ones. They don’t even listen to you, they just go straight for your jugular and insult your looks when it has NOTHING to do with the topic. That shows their shallow and simple mindedness. Everything you say is too much for them. It shows how triggered they are and the need to feel big. Truly sad
Thank you!! Wait: you noticed that? I've been trying to delete and block them as fast as I can. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be on the last video. At this point it just amuses me. I wonder why they are so triggered? Men REEEAAALLLY DO NOT LIKE a woman who does not need them. See what I mean about being "other-focused"?
Intelligence ; )
This is so true. Thank you for being honest
Thank you so much for this. Exactly what I have experienced in my current job. These people are insane. Yeah sounds like you did too much for your jobs. You are so right. Toxic people don't respect boundaries of any kind.
I love ur videos🫶🏻I’ve experienced this before in many jobs and it’s refreshing to hear another women’s experience
Thank you! Literally everything you said, I can relate to. It took me too long to realize I wasn’t the problem. I knew I wasn’t perfect, but some people in school and in the workplace made me feel like I was the worst person ever. I finally figured it out, and now I’m careful about who I spend time with and where I work. Thank you!
You're welcome. It's so important not to internalize this stuff. That's exactly what they want you to do: take on their toxicity for them. It's because they can't self-regulate, and you are better equipped to deal with it. If it goes on for long enough, and you feel besieged and assaulted, it is possible to get broken by it. The earlier you can have awareness, the better.
this happens to me everyday!! thank you for sharing your story
This video is excellent, it had me nodding my head in agreement and laughing at your bluntness. Will return to this video often to stay sane and healthy while currently dealing with one of these dark souls.
Hello,
I recently this video essay and 2:24 in I knew exactly what you talking about. There are people in the workplace who are violent and jealous, and use bullying as a proxy for committing even worse. Disturbingly enough, HR is sometimes aware of this type of behavior and allow it because they believe these people to 'a value to the company'.
What are your thoughts on employees who are more interested in the social perks (and social currency) of work as opposed to intellectual pursuit?
I've spoken many times about how useless - and downright evil - HR is, and I have a video on that. They not only do nothing about the problem. They exacerbate it. They need the drama in order to continue to justify their existence. I've also mentioned many times that workplace bullies are there for the wrong reasons. They work for emotional reasons (in other words "supply") - not for the money, and not for the work.
@@clairehuntonline
Agreed. The word 'useless' is too good in my opinion because it would indicate that HR had some sort of use before. They tend to attack employees who are new, entry levels who themselves are trying to balance new work and defend themselves against workplace bullies.
I look forward to listening to the HR video essay. Do you see any remedies to this toxic workplace culture in the U.S.?
::: Claire if you dont have a husband at this point please let me know :::
Wow! I haven't even watched the video yet but you just described me to a T with the title and thumbnail.
This is an amazing video. Going to have to re-watch it again.
Eversince a colleague started to work at our office a unexplained dark energy is now there no one wants to be at the office👀 I am trying to protect myself as best I can. I cannot explain but it's a very heavy dark energy . You are right...it's all energetic.She would complain over everything and She had shown that she was not happy for me when I performed well...Her facial expression showed me that..I had empathy with her but I later on figured out she projects energy onto me dragging me down not to perform well so she wants me to be negative.
Exactly. I've been saying since the very beginning that workplace bullies have disgusting energy and no one really likes them or wants them around. If you have clean energy and a high, light vibration, that just makes them even more jealous than they already are. And they will target you because darkness is attracted to light. It's the easiest thing in the world to clean your energy and practice healthy spiritual hygiene, and it doesn't cost any money. It never ceases to amaze me how many people can't just figure that out.
I don't know how attractive I may or may not be, but I do my best. I wear a style of my own, I do things to enhance my features (eyes, lips) and minimal jewelry and I have super long hair. I'm Black American. I think this is what is happening with me on my job by someone who is new, just got here last year. It's really weird because I am older and have way more experience. She keeps sending me emails, copying others and it is becoming clear that she is lying on me. I like to work on my own and am very creative. She wanted my theatre courses.
Lmao, I am done and I am COOKED. The boring, passive aggressive comments started. I’m almost out of there soon so I can deal for a bit longer😅
Do you plan on writing a book? You could seperate all these things into chapters and tbh I think it would be a blast. There's a similar book with similar ideas, called "stalking the soul" by Marie-France Hirigoyen, very enlightening. Describes perfect what happened to me growing up and what people later tried to do to me but failed. Give it a read. I think you could even expand on that with a book of yours and make it a much bigger volume even.
I did. I wrote an essay on workplace bullying that is over 100 pages long. It's on my website. Links to it are in the description for every video.
There is a gold mine of incredible information here. I also have to say that women also perpetuate this type of behavior against men.
edit: The Love Is Blind story shows this perfectly. Again, great video.
Thank you. Most of my viewers are women in their 20s and 30s, but I get a lot of interaction from men. Men get abused by both women and other men - inside and outside the workplace. I'm well aware of the abuse of men by women. I grew up with a mother who screamed my father into the ground every day. It's harder for men to talk about their trauma because they are socialized to be "strong." News flash: real strength IS emotional vulnerability.
I call it social loner but i know it's ambivert
Subscribed!!!❤
Im a new sub, I love the way you deliver your content. Very informative and hilarious at the same time.😂
I once heard that when you have grace youre both admired and hated.
This video came at the right time
just found this video after dealing with some absolutely insane sh!t😂 thank you
Wow I’ve been feeling this way for weeks and you just describe me perfectly. This randomly popped up on my suggestions lol thank you !I was definitely meant to see
Your really pretty to me. I love your eyes and your dry eye clear eyes voice. Just thought about something 🤔 I am always able to look and hear when a person doesn’t have children im usually 95% right. Now ive seen only a few videos from you. But i dont think u have children and u seem more like you love cats over dogs. I could be wrong but its the energy. Your extremely interesting to me for some odd reason
Thank you so much. You're absolutely right: no kids, and I love cats. I don't like dogs. I'm actually afraid of them. But I'm allergic to cats so can't have one. Makes me so sad. You must be very intuitive.
Its a touchy subject 😩
Great information, well presented. I've not met many of these demons over the years but ye gods, do I remember their dark eyes. I'm luckily quite confident and self assured but I still felt terrified about what their devious minds might cook up for their kicks. They're happy to see anyone crash and burn. Peace
Yes, they are anti-life. They think everything they do is "funny." It's like a game to them. But they are playing with people's livelihoods, which means they are playing with people's lives. It is literally a matter of life and death. They are murderers in their hearts. Workplace bullying is attempted murder. I would not wish their karma on anyone.
OMG! I watch that show too and Marshal and Jackie were so cringe! I knew she was gonna be trouble when she kept crying hysterically for no reason.
Spot on. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being you ❤
My landlord had a workplace, preying on me the pretty disabled introvert he owned the apartment, he owned me he thought, he ended up hurting me to my core disfigurement hurting my prized possessions. You can guess... I can’t say it. I hate my body now in pain for three years. I wish I would have saw it coming and life didn’t mess me up so bad before to see it. You would think someone could never. Please pray I can win in court😢
i don’t know you, but i wish i could give you the biggest, warmest hug ever. i am so, so very sorry you had to endure this. my heart is with you, please stay strong throughout it all. wishing you warmth, safety, clarity, peace, and for the odds to be in your favor at court. God bless you sweet soul ❤
Oh Lord, let me tell you about 'digging.' My boss had her kindly assistant, use a lint roller, to remove some hairs from my black top. I then found out, she had my hair analyzed, to see if I had drugs in my system. Alas, no drugs were detected. And I know the day she got the results, because her expression was that of child who was denied ice cream. Lol😂
Just when I thought I had heard everything .... How do you know they actually had your hair tested? I know workplace bullies try to get their hands on your hair for use in spellwork. I mentioned in another video that I have been accused of doing "drugs" - when I've never been in the same room with narcotics. Projection at its finest.
@@clairehuntonline My boss is a certified schizophrenic, with the papers to prove it. Apparently, she blabbed about it and it spread like wild fire. She hates my guts, because I'm a human rights activist and in the process of writing my second book. You know the drill, you are not allowed to have endeavors, outside of the rock pit. 🤨🙄
Right on😂👏❤️
I'm somewhere on the higher end of the autism spectrum and have a history of lifting weights. My employment background has always been in administration since the military, and since getting out, every office job I've had resulted in me working predominantly with women-some behaving exactly as you've explained. It definitely is the case that my mind essentially shuts down when it comes to emotionality depending on the people I'm around and I'll resort to one-word or short answers for the most part. If they're abusive, I'm much more prone towards intellectualization which is of benefit given how sadistic people engage with you. I've been greatly blessed with discernment which has helped me in these times to pick up on factors such as vocal intonation, microexpressions, and intentions overall. For instance, I recall a time one married woman kept love bombing me and trying to get me to accompany her around the military base we were working on for a non-profit. These attempts didn't work and she would become a bit shaky while looking down and disappointed. She would then attempt to shift the subject and ramp the bombing back up slowly.
I've noticed several comments from you about women. I think it's very important not to generalize. Often, when a repeating pattern keeps showing up in our experience, the universe is asking you examine a false or limiting belief within your own subconscious mind that is generating these occurrences. I think you need to watch my video "Workplace Bullying Is a Recreation of Your Dysfunctional Childhood Family of Origin."
@@clairehuntonlineI'll take a look.
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought I heard you say that you were a Pisces on another video. I also heard you say that you are an air sign.
I am currently on contract at a hospital and one of the TAs told one of the day shift techs to tell us weekend techs we were not stocking enough supplies. Well every time we come in on weekends there is never supplies stocked ( meaning she doesn’t really stock ). So I decided to really stock the room. I put so much stock in there that it def was enough the entire week. Then she left a note for us that we stocked to much and if we could only put a little stock in the room so others who need stock from other departments could have some too. Then she printed out what we should stock. She doesn’t even do my job so her telling me what to stock Is beyond hilarious. So I threw her printed list of stock out and ignored her. I have no idea what she even does anyways bc she is a TA in our department but she doesn’t transport our patients , she doesn’t research any of our implants , she doesn’t stock our supplies or register patients. I have no idea what she even does all day besides leave notes for others telling them what to do
A triumph in words, well said.
Omg I love this video so bad💜💜
Claire, you are a genius. I talk about this a lot on my Tik Tok and many women can relate. Is there anyway I can contact you privately? ❤️
Finally, someone who understands.
This was awesome!! My past two jobs had a few people like this, it gave me so much stress I didn't want to work there anymore.