Narcissistic Abuse and INFJs |
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- A community-organizing forum where targets of workplace bullying can share experiences in a support group so you can know
1. You’re not crazy. Workplace bullying is real, and your feelings are valid.
2. You’re not alone. Unfortunately, others have experienced the same thing.
If my words resonate with you, please subscribe, turn on notifications, like and share my videos, and comment.
Read my 116-page essay in five parts on workplace bullying on my website.
• Workplace Bullying Part I: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part II: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part III: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part IV: www.clairehunt...
• Workplace Bullying Part V: www.clairehunt...
#workplacebullying #narcissism #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #NPD #narcissisticabuse #clairehunt #clairehuntonline
INFJ here too. I'm exhausted with narcs tbh.
Infj here. Thanks to you my history of being bullied, abused and ostracized is all starting to make sense.
Claire, your videos were verbal accounts of what I was enduring in real time. The hate, gaslighting, and character assassination was unlike anything I had experienced. Never before had I met people that despised my every action, thought, and breath. I was slowly internalizing their beliefs. It required great fortitude and perseverance to wake up each morning knowing the hell that awaited me at the workplace door. I am an INTJ , but I can empathize with what an INFJ may experience. Watching your videos validated my feelings that it was not me that was crazy, it was them. Thank you very much.
Exactly my thoughts.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry you experienced that. It is mind-blowing and almost impossible to understand because you are not capable of thinking like that. It's very complicated, and even I am at pains sometimes to articulate it. It's a whole messy emotional bag of nonsense that has no business in a professional environment.
Have you left this toxic workplace since? I feel the same, everything about me is despised by two of my co-workers and it's causing me so much emotional pain.
Literally feel like it’s a waste of time to be in this world.
Great video Claire. I agree we are living in the emotional dark ages. I notice people are so mean in the comments on IG and even in real life. Nobody owes me a conversation but When I go out I notice and see my neighbors, they don’t speak. A simple hello isn’t too much is it? If I wave they turn their head. I’m right there next to them and They usually look past me , pull their phone out and then put it back once they pass me , or put their head down. It’s a strange concept. So when I see them , I do the same thing. I don’t speak to any of them. I give same energy back.
I also am a feminine woman. I think my physical looks made me a target. I try to be compassionate but I find it hard to be kind to narcissists who wanna shit on me. It’s crazy how they don’t know that we could be a good friend to them, but their self hatred blinds them from seeing it. At my old job, I had a male bully who would do stuff and sit and watch me. He observed me to see my reactions and wait for me to explode. He would laugh . Another tactic would be to test me and act mean and nasty and then make me say something rude back. They told me they did it to see if I was tough and they’d respect me if I cussed them out. They wanted to be cool if I snapped. I’m sorry but that’s just toxic and weird. What’s so bad about getting to know someone without tests and just using discernment and listening skills to what people say?
I also remember since I was quiet and would talk , people would stop and evesdrop and then jump in and disagree with something I said, like STFU! I wasn’t even talking to them. What a clown world we live in.
Omg such a weirdos why are people like this
Phones destroyed everyone’s social skills. Funny with “social media” there’s less human connection in real life!!
They harassed you as a test of your toughness? Narcissists will bully you and then accuse you of being too sensitive.
Claire, I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely appreciate you and your videos. You confirm my experiences in life. I also consistently type as an INFJ And am always the target of workplace bullies and narcissists! YOU ROCK !!!❤
Thank you so much. I finally quit my bullying job yesterday and your videos gave me strength and held me over.
I am so an INFJ. Thank you🪷💕
ENTJ here with ADHD - you absolutely hit the nail on the head with what my issue is in the workplace: they want me to shine, just not more than them even though the reason they hired me in the first place is precisely because I shine brighter than them, and they want me to be their shiny object.
It is exhausting.
Also, just quit my latest job again today. This is the first time I didn’t quit due to bullying - it was just a shit job. So I left of my own accord. I can’t tell you how surreal this feels 😂😂😂
Good for you for putting yourself first and letting the universe know that you deserve better. When you start showing up for yourself, the universe can reflect that energy back to you. Yes, it's impossible to make it work with these people. What is the mantra of narcissistic abuse? Three words: YOU. CAN'T. WIN. Everything you do is wrong. Nothing you do is right. I really think that's how mental health conditions like bipolar and borderline develop. Sick people keep you ping-ponging all over the place, trying to get it right, when you can never get it right because they never had any intention of letting you win in the first place.
@@clairehuntonline very insightful comment, thank you. Loving your content as always!
I used to be an extrovert and now im an introvert and its to protect my energy,sanity,and peace. Im very intuitive. Im an empath and your right i dont hate anyone but i definitely dont like talking with people that are intentionally doing things behind my back.
I don’t like talking with people who do things behind my back. Unfortunately I used to enable them because I just wanted to fit in.
I'm an ENTP but I have become more introverted, due to narcissistic abuse. 😢 I'm getting good at setting boundaries, though! Growth 😊
@@barbarabuttler7647 there you go Barbara growth is fun and you get to peel back the layers and find out who you truly are
good quality claire - helps so many - workplace abuse is one of the worst abuses - & alot of it is based on the jealousy & fear of the perpetrator - standing against it is tough too - good stuff & positive message👍
Claire, you are The Social Justice Warrior for workplace bullied individuals. You are the MOST qualified because the depth of your understanding and knowledge of ALL aspects that go into this type of behavior: native/genetic/astrological, social upbringing, psychological and spiritual makeup, educational and cultural background. There are so many subtle/stealth aspects that go into this type of aggression, that, for many, is hard to notice, accept or understand. You covered it all, and I am grateful for you doing it, because it is a serious social issue that needs to be addressed. Indeed, while they relentlessly attack you, judge everything about you, sabotage and intimidate you, put you under a microscope, they feel judged by you! The irony! Yes, indeed, what do they expect you are going to think about them? That they are nice people? No way! No matter how nice, kind, accommodating, and forgiving of a person you might be, you cannot think anything good about these perpetrators! Speaking from repeated experiences (witch-hunt), unfortunately. And, yes, I agree with you about those claiming we are Earth Angels or Starseeds, etc., which sounds like spiritual narcissism and egocentric/limited thinking.
My answer to this has always been: “I never applied for those positions! I applied for a job!”😢😂
It’s just plain human nature, and human behavior, determined by genetic, psychological, spiritual, social, educational, cultural, astrological make-up of different individuals. And that tribal, primitive, aggressive herd mentality of the majority of people. You covered it all, so comprehensively, and so eloquently!
As an INFJ/INFT person, an extrovert who was forced to become an introvert, I can 💯, relate to everything you are saying! 🙏😇💯🌹🙋♀️
Thank you for your support. I am happy to hear my words have helped someone. That's part of the stunning hypocrisy of workplace bullies that I've struggled with for decades: after bullying you they still expect you to have a good opinion of them! It's astonishing. I think it's because they've always been enabled, so they expect to keep getting away with the same behavior. Like I said, it's a pathetic, desperate cry for unconditional love. I understand that people are human, not perfect, and emotional, but this is the workplace. People need to work out their emotional issues in their interpersonal relationships - not in a professional environment. It's not an appropriate setting, and the only way to stop it is for wise leaders to implement laws, regulations, and rules.
Libra rising too 👋🏻
⚖️
💙🙏🏻💙
Yup I'm an INFJ as well.. took the test about 10 times as authentically as I can and get the same result. "A" most of the time, "I" once. Almost the same story at every workplace. I start somewhere new, see synchronicities and signs that tell me that there is something that I need to learn there.. the same entitled people who want to get to know you, or that you somehow get close with (manager, person training you), starts to hate you.. but ironically sometimes also asks you for life advice. They think that you are an easy target... then they regret it .. they thought you were dumb and nice but were wrong.. make grand exit.. rinse repeat... libra rising as well.
Same pattern here. Everyone initially "likes" me, too. Then, they turn. I think that's because you didn't turn out to be the source of supply they thought you were going to be. Just because you're "nice" does not mean you don't have any boundaries. Yes, I've noticed that almost everyone who has ever bullied me has simultaneously turned to me for understanding and emotional support. Just beyond pathetic.
@@clairehuntonline Yup from them being like "oh she's not even good at her job, I'm better than you because of this, this, and that." few moments later "hey, can you help me with my life, financial, and health problems? "Like whaaat?... Authentic energy and good intentions always win in the end anyway. I've been watching your videos for a while and I know that English is your forte. Are you familiar with etymology? They do say that words hold a lot of power. I stopped calling myself "nice" for a while now. It actually means foolish.
Love you my fellow INFJ
Hi Claire, I want to thank you for all the knowledge and great insights you share. As an infj who literally just had to leave work early now, in tears, due to a boss who subtly fucks with my pshyce, its just so helpful and calming to listen to your views while I try to bring myself back from this negative headspace.
I have really worked so hard and tirelessly over the years, trying to be a good employee for my bosses, going that extra mile and trying to build a great career, but as I approach my 34th birthday, the crushing feeling of defeat feels closer then ever. I feel like these incompetent, mean spirited and emotionally void managers just eventually wear me and others down to a shell of a human. I will continue to try and work on myself, work through my shortcomings and try to understand better how to manage these people. But I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your wonderful and thought provoking content, it truly helps me, and im sure many others, feel a little less alone ❤
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that happened to you. I accept defeat, too, but it took me 30 years. There are those of us for whom it's just never going to work. It really crushes your soul to have to give up on your dreams.
❤@@clairehuntonline
Workplaces are the critical care unit of psychiatric diseases, indeed.
Thank you for all your words. I get flustered trying to explain these things, these knowings.
I find very little understanding of these things by people, and that, I don’t understand.
Critical care unit 😂
They are not as intuitive as you are. Most people shut down their intuition because they can't handle the intensity. "Ignorance is bliss." Most people choose a relatively superficial, surface-level existence. It's easier. On the other hand, some of us are forced to go deep if we want things to change.
I'm so looking forward to this video. I've consistently tested as INFJ and really have to watch who I allow into my life. Love your videos.
ENFP reporting lol, I'm annoying on purpose at this point I'm no longer ashamed
I’ve noticed that everywhere setting I am placed into the person in charge always seems to target me. Their favorite line is that I have issues with authority and it always irritated me because I don’t I just refuse to let anyone fill my heads with nonsense. The last Dr I went to for an evaluation claimed that I may have Antisocial personality disorder and trouble with the law. Lmao I don’t have trouble with the law lmao. Seriously I’m not in and out of jail. If I was like to have antisocial personality disorder there would’ve been signs since childhood and I would’ve have a colorful record by now. There is no evidence to support that claim for it to even be likely. I’m head strong so idc how much they try to gas light me or get me to second guess myself I always stand firm on what I believe and what I say. I don’t give these people any room to dictate my opinion or perspective because I know what I’m dealing with and I’ve accepted that I’m always gonna be a target for toxic people.
I attracted the bullying of a sadist in my small office team when I went into my first big finance job in my early 20s. It was found out by others in the team that he drove his wife insane and to desperation and she ended up in and out of psych wards. It happened within earshot of people but no one did anything to help me (if it didn't affect them, just let it carry on etc, rather me than them etc), it got to the stage where I was praying that he had an accident at the weekend so he would never come into work again. But praying is no good, there aint no God that is listening.
They become infested with demons. Ask Jesus Christ for protection. Most important, get away from them. It's worse than you think.
Never wish ill on people. All you have to do is return their own energy and intent to them. Watch my video "SEND IT BACK." Bystanders never do anything about the bullying - even though they know full well what is going on, and I have two videos on that, too. Yes, most bullies' personal lives are a total train wreck. If this is how they treat people in the workplace, imagine what it's like behind closed doors in their homes?
Love all your videos, Claire.❤. Highly sensitive ENFJ here--very close to INFJ. I wish, if there were a way to tie it in with your workplace bullying theme, that you would do a video about narcissistic, retraumatizing therapists. I started looking for a new therapist 7 months ago and I can't believe the power differentials (a lot like control and bullying), egos, prejudice of female therapists against attractive, educated female clients, and incompetence I have endured! It would rev my soul up to hear what you would say if you have had similar experiences! Blessings.
Thank you for the idea. I will consider it. I've spoken before about how my first therapist was a psychopath who broke the law several times in her treatment of me. Her issue with me was nothing more than jealousy: straight up, simple as. Therapists are human beings, but, the minute they realize they have personal issues with a client, they are legally obligated to discontinue working with that client. She didn't want to let me go because she was having too much fun trying to hurt me. I've also stated before that the profession of psychology attracts more crazy people than the general population. There are a lot of wounded healers out there. I'm actually not a fan of traditional talk therapy anymore. I find it ineffective, and I have a video on that: "Therapy Does Not Work for Deep Trauma."
@@clairehuntonline I may have seen it and forgotten. Thank you, Claire. I've had some doozies over the years. The funniest was (well, it's funny now) the male marriage counselor who kissed my hand in the office, right in front of my husband. Our marriage had very serious problems. I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish with that smooth move.😂
Hey! INFJ here as well.
I took the inventory that you mentioned as a method to discover who I was while trying to find my life's purpose, during my freshmen year in college. My guidance counselor told me, positively, that this was one of the rarest personality types. The description resonated with me then and more so now, since I have come more into my spiritual purpose while enduring the price of being targeted to a very high extent.
I am glad that you cleared up that the notion about uniqueness having nothing to do with external qualities; rather, that uniqueness and being targeted as a result of that uniqueness, has more to do with who one is INTERNALLY! THANK YOU FOR THAT. I AGREE WITH THIS, because I believe that the divisiveness in America that has been masked as racism, sexism, homophobia, one religion versus another, classism, etc, is in reality, the hatred and strife of the REAL BATTLE, which I believe is BENEVOLENCE vs. MALEVOLENCE. I also believe that extroversion is the main quality that keeps individuals from discovering who they are because they are too concerned with GROUPTHINK and will deny themselves at all costs to fit in, even beyond their teenage years. I am repulse by adults in their '40s and '50s who can't or are reluctant to think and be who they are individuals. Henry David Thoreau said in "WALDEN" that "the devil is legion and that God is alone." So these narcissists need the crowd to keep them going. Do you remember "The Wizard of Oz's" Wicked Witch of the West" and her flying monkeys?
Again, THE REAL BATTLE IS MALEVOLENCE vs. BENEVOLENCE and as soon as we can understand Jesus' parable about the "wheats vs. the tares", the more that we can get to the real work that must be done if our species is to survive!
THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR WORK AND EXPERTISE ON THIS TOPIC!!!
Thank you for watching. Yes, I've been saying since the beginning that workplace bullying is spiritual warfare happening on an energetic level. Everything is energy and intent. That's why it's so hard to legislate, address, or even define. For some reason human beings have been caught in the crosshairs of the great cosmic battle between good and evil since the beginning of time. If you don't believe in evil, it believes in you. The function of evil in this world is to force you fully into the light, to put your foot down firmly upon the side of team human and team life.
I have been an infp my whole life. I'm currently in the middle of emdr therapy and my latest personality test turned out to be infj
I'm Australian. I say different from.
I have just become aware at 57 my being an INFJ I have been having coming to terms with it. I wish I had someone to talk to that understands like you do. My therapist always tries to make my intuitive nature into something else. She will say “how do you know it’s true you don’t know what someone is thinking.” I read people’s emotions and know what they’re feeling and why they are acting or reacting to situations. I hate it because I’m so lonely but I just stay away from people.
I'm actually not really a fan of traditional talk therapy, and I have a video on that. The profession of psychology is so slavishly dependent on acceptance from mainstream academia that it dismisses all spirituality outright. Intuition can't be quantified, so it is not acceptable for a discipline that wants to be a "science." Also, therapists are licensed, and they have to keep their licenses. I believe there is a branch of psychology called "parapsychology" that is willing to acknowledge metaphysical phenomena like past lives, the sixth sense, etc. Granted: sometimes, our intuitions are wrong, and your therapist might just want to challenge some false beliefs you might have. But, if someone is gaslighting you to that extent, that is not a good therapist. I do offer consulting for a fee. My contact information is in my channel's description.
Thank you. I really need to hear this right here and right now. It's everything I've been thinking.
Infj here too
It's a good thing automation is taking over the workforce. Won't have to deal with this ever again in the future.
"I like all kinds of people. I just don't like YOU." LOL!! I LOVE your candor!! I am an INFJ and I very much understand and relate to what you are saying in this video. Thank you.
Thanks, Claire. Your channel really deserves more viewers.
Claire, My sister was an INFJ. She passed away last year and I miss our long discussions about narcissism. Stumbling upon your video was like getting a hug from her from beyond the veil. Thank you! You have a new subscriber. I'm an ENTP, by the way. ❤️🙏
My condolences on your loss. I'm sure your sister is still with you in spirit. You have a new angel on the other side. Thank you for watching and subscribing.
Thank you for this video. That's why I don't regret going nuclear when I resigned. If they didn't fear losing me, they might at least fear losing money. Someone had to draw a red line and I was more than willing to do it.
"Difference is more an energetic state of being." Exactly.
social justice warriors - truth to power - excellent - (more formally, parhessia) 👍 😊
This is strange. A friend did the Meyers Briggs test on me years ago, and got INFJ. She was jealous because it's rare. Made a big deal about it and started mistreating me.
Finding these videos has made my life experiences make a WHOLE lot more sense.
I'm INFP, and lord I've suffered. I never fit in anywhere. I've been bullied and forced out of almost every workplace I've been in, especially by women. I agree with certain personality types attracting abusive people. I also just wanted to do my own thing. This drove people crazy.
You might check out my video, "Workplace Bullying Is the Abuse of Introverts." Introversion is problematic for narcissists because it's low supply. They want attention. When you focus on yourself, you force them to do the same, and they hate that because looking in the mirror is the last thing in the world they want to do. The more empathic you are, the more abuse you get in this world. You have empathy, and they don't. They want what you have. It's pathological jealousy. More on that in a later video.
I can’t help who I attract
She dropped the " f" around and find out! 🤣😅
She's an icon at this point
This was well put
Something that was said to me by the narc abuser boss: "you don't think like everyone else, and I think you need to. Everyone else thinks like me, but you don't"
I love you so much!!! ❤❤❤❤
I'm actually an ISFJ. 🙂 Thank you for another interesting video, Claire!
Me too. So sick of bullies at work. 😢
Claire, I don't think I'm special because I was bullied, but don't you think there is a special reason we were put on this planet? I mean we are healers - that is special already - I mean only 2% were willing to take this hard mission on.. yes I have a spiritual ego because it makes me angry and hateful when people are stupid unevolved immature unconscious unintelligent and I am like how dare they to exist if they are this way and yes I didn't get rid of my victimhood yet but I don't think that thinking that I'm an Earth angel is egoic, for me it makes sense but maybe I'm wrong.. I have experiences where people were really uplifted and elevated and their live situations changed when I was around or people breaking their legs having accidents when pissed me off (walking karma Scorpio here haha). I think you are mega special! Look at you! You mentioned you had a twin flame right? Isn't that special? And could you talk about more about your twin flame experience if you will? Thank you. ❤
Well, I think you just echoed exactly what I said, so we agree. I didn't say you weren't special. In fact I said you are both special and not special. Everyone is. That's wonderful that you have the power to influence other people, but that doesn't mean that the people around you are influencing one another in similar ways that you are not aware of. What I dislike is adopting some kind of hierarchical thinking (kings and queens , "royals") to explain why abuse happens. That is definitely ego. It's also silly and cringe. You don't have to place yourself in some kind of artificially superior position in order to heal from abuse. No, I won't be talking about twin flames. Not really into that. Also, this channel is about the workplace, not about interpersonal relationships. There are hundreds of other channels that address those topics.
@@clairehuntonline thank you I appreciate your reply.. take care
I am INFJ as well, so much for you attract what you are 😞
INFJ here too...
I feel called out as an infp lol. Kind of a door mat here
INFJ here 👋🏻
💙🙏🏻💙
Honestly, the first time I entered my current toxic workplace, they seemed the odd ones. I had to make a choice to get my first job (2022) and quite frankly... I knew what I was getting myself into. I just had the narcissistic expectation and entitlement that my abusers would and could change. I tried to understand them but eventually just ended up acting like a burden on them because I thought and still think that that is fair. Human dignity is not a luxury, not in this day and age! They might be productive and competent individuals but damn are they cold blooded. Working to get out.
I agree. I think we're "normal," and abusers are weird. Good for you for recognizing that the intent to change others IS narcissistic in and of itself. It's controlling. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is recognize our own internalized narcissism and keep working on ourselves because we have no control over other people. Ain't never gonna be no "come to Jesus moment" with any of these people. In what way do you feel you were a "burden" to them? And also good for you for recognizing that some of them may be good at the work. Calling bullies "stupid" (as so many targets do) is petty namecalling and an oversimplification. It's not about intellect, and it's not about the work. It's a spiritual disease - one that has afflicted humanity since the beginning of time.
@@clairehuntonline Thank you for your response! Yes I definitely have my own narcissistic impulses I'm working on. I'm no angel. Regarding me burdening them, I have clinically diagnosed depression, anxiety and ADHD and feel a whole lot better now on medication. I was so confused and couldn't work well before getting an evaluation. I couldn't concentrate, had a painful feeling in my body when anxious and couldn't move. I remember sitting on my bed at night after work and simply not desiring anything. That was their first impression of me... having no attention to detail, which to this day is not my strong suit. They had no idea of mental health and probably labeled me as "lazy", "loser", "freak". I even clearly saw and heard my manager tell the leads to give me only simple tasks as I had issues solving the simplest ones. It was a tough period in my life. Now I'm actually productive and as we speak I'm working on my final design portfolio project and then I'll start applying for new jobs. I'm from Romania, 26, M. It's hard out here, we're still figuring out human rights and dignity, what with all the eastern inspired sense of "morality" we have in this region of Europe. It's a traumatized and poor man's culture here... Steal, bully and lie to get ahead, screw love and conscience... Sorry if it was too long! I've been watching you since I got this job. Your videos have helped me a lot to see my work environment for what it trully is!
I'm INFJ, diagnosed schizophrenic, and possible c-ptsd. Lovely mixture.
Thanks for sharing Claire!
ENFP 7w8 sx/sp
INJF too always wandered why it’s rare