Steven Seagal loves cookies | So Bad It's Good
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
- Ad-free, uncensored, full-length reviews ► / jasonbrant
Even though this movie is boring as hell, it gives us an epic Sifu quote about cookies.
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18:08 To be fair, Seagal hasn't been able to see his own balls since 2003
The cookie line NEEDS to be added to the Sifu Seagal intro 👏
and a shirt.
COOKIES!!!!
I don't think Jason was born at night...
I'll see what I can do 🤣
@@samholdsworth420 dammit. Cookies and turnip trucks.
Erin being repulsed by Seagal is becoming a highlight of these episodes
It's the funniest thing.
I love how he effortlessly flows between ghetto, creole\Louisiana, and just mumbling, all in one scene.
It's a special kind of gift that only Sifu has.
I believe that's called a stroke.
He's a true thespian
Fo' sho, mofo
@guyman9655 more of a therapist
“I love the F out of cookies.”
The first honest thing he’s ever said.
It's relatable too!
@@DoveAlexa you’re not wrong.
"Right now, imma snatch every mother******* cookies..."
@@arthuryong8562 that’s another t-shirt idea right there.
@@thedimestoredropout8111 I'd die for that lol.
Now THERE’S the Giant Turdmonster Super Soldier we all know and loathe.
🤣
The fact u waited for this video to comment this is hilarious 😂
@@jordanpaterson9043 I knew it was coming soon, it’s been a while since Jason had to review Sifu
alright. that's good. you win
Well done!
The sequel should be called "End Of A Buffet" where Sifu devours a whole buffet then rages when they won't refill the crab legs.
Then he has cookies.
You think that fat POS bothers to extract the meat, or does he just crunch away, shell & all, eyes wild, like a degenerate?
End of a bun
Sounds more realistic than his other movies.
I would pay serious money to watch a movie of Seagal polishing off a huge plate of pierogi.
Okay, maybe $20. Not that serious money, but more than I’ve ever spent before to watch a movie.
"Never trust a stripper" is the smartest thing to ever come out of a Segal movie.
Steven Seagal loves cookies and bewbs. For once, I find myself in agreement with Sifu.
He's gonna make me hate cookies.
@@JasonBrant What about bewb shaped cookies? 🤔
@@icarusfalls5422 Better than cookie shaped bewbs...
Erin’s visceral reaction to Sifu trying to be sexy is so funny.
That bit at the beginning with Erin making the "mistake" of saying 'I do' was very wholesome. You two seem like such a good couple. Can't say I'm not jealous of it.
I love how Erin is so disgusted by Steven Seagal trying to be "charming" 😆
Finding the sausage in the giant bowl of jello killed me off …… Steven is actually vile …. Love the videos
...like a button on a fur coat!
He really is a sack of crap in real life.
I can't tell if Erin wants to laugh or throw up.
Him saying "baby" in any manner could dry up a lake...
Hahahaha
I felt so violated
That quote about Sifu not having insecurities was absolute gold!
So I guess its always the director who decides to crop out his body or jowls in later movies, not Seagal? 🤔
Holy shit, I think that's the first time Sifu has ever smiled in one of these movies at 5:53. It was the most humanising thing he's ever done and it was creepy af
Pretty sure it was just gas
@@Kpkracken 😂
Shudder.
Maximum Conviction is even more creepy and terrifying.
and of course he's with a pretty lady half her age
I'm convinced at this point that Sifu is trolling the whole world.
I'm convinced that he's a real-life Napoleon Dynamite
i think you underestimate the power of narcissism....
Legend has it, if you leave Sifu some cookies and a stripper on your hearth, on Christmas Eve, he'll make you a movie, too.
Unfortunately, you have to burn the bed and be credited as a Co-Executive Producer. The chairs have to be comfy and sturdy.
I thought if you did that you'd get all your MF birthdays back
He'll "let" you be an unpaid stuntman who he punches in the face before hip-tossing you into a real 1970s glass coffee table, because a prop would cost actual dollars
Is that some sort of threat?
I'm watching this in bed with my husband still asleep but I could not keep from laughing out loud at that. Well done.
Dude...y'all had me at "you've made a lot of mistakes in your life, the worst of which was saying 'i do'." I love how y'all get along. I'm not a patreon subscribber but I will be sending a box with some DVD's and beer for y'all from Texas!
That needs to be Seagal's new film - COOKIES AND TITTIES.
I love it when you guys are praising Sifu’s effort when he stands, runs and does anything that requires him to move 🤣
I love these guys, they make me wish I had friends lol.
That hit me right in the feels. Same man. Same.
Alcohol is a social lubricant 🤣
Can't you watch SBIG movies with a VR headset, and it allmost feel like you are in the same room chugging beers?
@@lapthom Not really. You can't ignore the fact that you're a complete stranger to Jason and his friends, and you always will be. We're not his friends, and we never will be.
No point in mincing words about it is there?
@@MrManBuzz I wasn't thinking of watching with Jason and company especially, but more people without any friends, as stated by OP.
Sifu's mouth is at the end of a...bun
Refuses to run
@@leeweesquee waddles to the food
its at the end of a…long days work
This movie is an end of excitement
Nice!
"Time to find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello" - funny, accurate, and disgusting at the same time....
That cookie line is the only honest thing Seagal has ever said!
It's the only way he can still find his...katana.
I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor rather than a sex symbol. - Sensei Seagal
Christ.
@@JasonBranthe probably thinks that describes him as well.
He has no humility.
You guys are on a roll the last couple of weeks. Between this and Steel shaqqin' his shaft it was a complete crapfest and I love it.
Thanks!
Seagal sounds like he's perpetually on the verge of passing out
The women of these movies should win awards. Like AVN Awards for 'best faker' or 'best actress that doesn't vomit when close to a disgusting man'. I feel like they would come up with better names, but it's a start to an amazing thing.
There should be a Segal movie where Sifu wants some cookies, but all the cookies in the world are currently being held in a giant vault by Cookie Monster who is also the worlds most dangerous cookie baron.
I’ve always said that Seagal would’ve played a very good Cookie Monster! If only he had more “acting” range than his typical special forces trite
If we could replace seagal with a look alike actor who can act it would be even better!
Speaking of stock footage I was rewatching some previous seagal episodes and watched the A Good Man episode. I noticed the helicopter shot in the opening of A Good Man was stolen from Deadliest Prey when Ted Prior is being chased by the helicopter but the Seagal movie just darkened the shot. Once i noticed it, I started thinking steven seagal is slowly becoming Godfrey Ho. Rewatch those episodes and see if you can see it.
Seagal in a Godfrey Ho movie... the horror.
It was funny as hell how you kept fast forwarding and trying not to fall asleep. Seagal was delivering his lines like a narcoleptic right in the middle of an episode lol.
"Now it's time to find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello."
Jason is a writer. He has a gift for imagination, storytelling, phrasing, etc. Writers can use words to conjure imagery, thoughts & feelings in the hearts & minds of others. This is an incredibly valuable skill to have, but I think this video shows that Jason has learned to use his powers for Evil. What he said, what he did... was an attack on us all. Join me now...
SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME...
Any woman subjected to having Sifu touch them on camera should get tax exempt status, for life, and be paid handsomely for it lol 😂
Come on, that's just taking it way too far...
... I will agree that their therapy should be paid for, though. That seems reasonable.
Instant nomination for an oscar, too.
I'm surprised she didn't vomit when he told her, "Now you owe me some good pussy"
They dont "have to" do it. They choose to do it and they get paid for it.
So funny story, 1 time my house got robbed of everything. Tvs, good cooking pans,orchids...like everything!!!! The thief's I'm imagining....had time to go through my entire DVD collection and left only the Steven seagal movies and "the core" a movie y'all should definitely view lol😂 HUUUUURHHHHH
I discovered your channel by watching one of your Seagal sessions and still enjoy every episode you guys making fun about sifu 😂
You should check out some of our other stuff - it's way better! Check out our Lost Faith episode.
@@JasonBrant That kick to the face of the bridge troll is one of the top ten SBIG moments.
That’s how I initially found this channel too, but there are some real gems on here too.
@@anthonyholmes5965 Sifu actually was good for sth once 😂
I never know if I should say, "oh yay, another upload" or "oh no, it's Segal time" 🙃💚
Both are acceptable.
In all fairness to Sifu every body, if he's around you have an endless supply of gravy. So there's that.
I don't understand how your videos don't have millions of views upon seconds of posting. You all literally have the best channel on youtube. Love everyone on here. Even that Aaron guy that was only on once.
You've tried really hard here, you have to admire it.
@@TheOrlandoTrustfull The only person trying hard is you; trying hard to be a prick and you're succeeding. This was me holding back so you couldn't be more wrong.
This channel has given Sundays and Thursdays a special meaning, and that special 20~ minutes of riffing just make my day. This is one of the few channels I have watched that made me actually laugh out loud. Much love
I’m so damn glad I found this channel. Love all of you guys
Not sure how recently you started watching, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but watch everything lol. I would also recommend watching them in chronological order just because you get the whole picture, so to speak
Here's an idea for a Seafu film that needs to be made. I call it Stolen Valor. It's 35 minutes of Lord of the Fries talking about all the black ops he claims he was part of, then 35 minutes of actual Seals and Delta boys beating the brakes off him. No stunts, just a real life beating.
“Find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello”
I am familiar with so many double entendres, euphemisms, metaphors, etc. I have NEVER heard this shit before and I was dead laughing for like 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“I love the F@#k outta cookies man”. 🤣🤣🤣 That needs to be on a Tshirt!! 😂😂
Steven Seagal coming at me with a knife that large would be scary, partly because big man and big knife, but also the possibility that he could be hungry and might try to eat me if he can catch me.
I mean, I also love cookies and bolos but Sifu takes that love to the extreme. In all the worst ways. Can't wait for this!
Some other SBIG fan probably came up with this a long time ago but I'm gonna toss this out there anyway:
Whenever I hear Seagal referred to as 'Sifu', I always mishear it as 'seafood'.
You know, like in the ancient joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. Whenever I see food, I eat it."
So, there you have it: The Sifu Diet. You're welcome.😂 I'll see myself out now.
YAAAS!!! Another Seafood Seagull movie with the crew.... imma sit back, relax and enjoy the sh!t show..
Hope you dug it!
The British girl is Jade Ewen. She was a singer who represented Britain in 2009’s Eurovision Song Contest, and was in Sugarbabes 2009-11.
Almost punishment enough for being in eurovision.. almost
Freaking hot... I had to look her up. Guess breaking into acting is tough.. got stuck in this crap movie.
"I love the f**k out of cookies, cheeseburgers, lard, deep deep fried chicken, kebabs, hot dogs and pretty much every food that was invented"
Seagal would be like ED-209 in RoboCop... looks intimidating but is defeated by stairs. 😂
And be defeated with a couple of well placed shots using an anti-materiel rifle.
Nonsense!
ED-209 can actually enunciate.
With Erin’s nausea over SIFU films it warrants zofran and a puke bucket next to her chair. 😊😂
I think my favorite is when it's his cotton candy hair that induces the dry-heaving. 😆😆😆😂😂😂
Between you guys and space ice is the only way sifu movies are tolerable. Thank god I discovered your work
I agree with the comments at the end about #4... Especially the staircase scene. I was like "OMG please just get this movie over with already!"
Damn it. Now I want Oreos and a spicy hotdog.
🤣 🤣
Good Lord, Seagal in this looks and sounds like he's a couple donuts away from a heart attack
The woman is Jade Ewen, was in a Girlband for a few years and also sang for the UK at Eurovision 2009 alongside Andrew Lloyd Webber. She's had an interesting kind of b list career...
Lmfao! "Just take his keys from him, and throw 'em." One of the best lines ever...😂🤣😂🤣
So the bird in this is Jade Ewen who was a member of the English girl trio the Sugarbabes. She did a bit of West End musicals and British telly up until 2015. God knows who advised her to do this movie, which was 2016 but it appears to have ended her career as she's basically done nothing since.
She's in good shape, the Sugarbabes were famous for their dancing.
"I love the f**k outta cookies." Jason, you sooo have to put that on a t-shirt! 🤣
With poorly photoshopped cookies placed over a stripper from a scene from one of his movies
Nothing makes me happier when I click on youtube on a Thursday/Sunday as when I see a Sifu update on SBIG!😁
"It's amazing to meet someone that has zero insecurities and should have a lot..."
Hold, on..I got a senzu bean around here somewhere for that burn..
14:20 - If you are ever in a situation where you cant perform the heimelich maneuver on yourself... just think of steven seagal on a waterbed 😂
Space Ice's review of this is fucking hilarious, highly enjoyed this one too. Thanks guys! All the best from Australia.
At 2m30 Excuse me, what?!…"It's going to be just BAD enough that it's going to be terrible."…How did you NOT pick up on this stone cold GOLDEN phrase?!?!
😖
That line about bobbing for apples in pudding nearly made me heave
The movie had to go back to Seagal for 10 sec to get to the number of minutes Seagal is in the movie.
The tall guy with Bobby at 7:55 was the Russian / Colombian boss in Cartels, too !
Damn, Matthias is savage with the insults!😂
Haha, for real.
Dude, you are criminally under subbed. The amount and quality of content you put out on sifu alone should net you at least 10x what you have currently.
That's so Wrong,🤣🤣🤣🤣 "Time to find the sausage in the giant bowl of Jell-O"
Yo. You gotta keep that, "I love the shit outta cookies."😂😂😂
5:29 that is Sifu specialty, the language of Love… which coincidentally sounds like Sifu talking Urban… and many more in his arsenal
I am always amused by Erin's visible disgust for Seagal in every video
Fun video as always! That actress is a semi famous British singer, no way is she getting nekked lol
"It's like a waterbed."
And Sifu's going to do a bellyflop.
If you're ever involved in a knife fight with Sensei Segal, just simply place a plate of cookies between you and him. He'll forget ALL about you! 🍪❤🥵
"He's already been standing longer than expected."
He is getting tingling in his feet because the circulation has been cutoff, so it feels like they're falling asleep.
Jason: "we got the conversation, but not the heist?"
Me: "Nah. That would have required Sifu to stand up.
"I will steal every muthaf#$$n birthday cake cookie."
"He walks with an oreo of confidence..."
"I was not born in a @#$$% keebler elf tree (but i wish i was)."
"There's some sick chunky chocolate chips up in here, alligator."
In the closeup on the gun at 20:30 you can read on the slide "Röhm RG88". Thats a german manufactured gun that is only capable of shooting blanks.
It also reads "Knallpatrone" which literally means blank cartridge.
I noticed that Ferrari on the shirt is spelled wrong early on, and then i couldn't unsee it! 😂 brilliant reaction as always!
Also, rocking the 4k! The videos are looking GOOOD!! Good job, guys. Looking crisp AF.
I don't really watch channels like this but holysh>t. I have watched nearly everyone of your videos. All of you are hilarious lol
13:28 damn it Jason! I just spit my drink all over my computer. 😂
"I love the fuck outa cookies," is probably the truest thing Steven Segel has ever said about himself. I'm just sayin'.😂😂😂😂
Ghosts of Mars when?
Jason Statham, Ice Cube and Pam Grier fight Marylin Manson Zombie Ghosts on Mars!
7:48 dude was in his movie Cartel as the drug king pin who they are protecting in that movie.
Honestly, the best part about the 'sausage in jello' comment is the follow-up, "Get THAT image out of your head", with Jason looking so pleased with himself while the others are gagging...
I think Erin literally dry-heaved. 😆😂
Here's some interesting info for you about Steven Seagal: Seagal plays the guitar. His songs have been featured in several of his movies, including Fire Down Below and Ticker. Among his extensive collection are guitars previously owned by "the Kings"; Albert, BB, and Freddie, as well as Bo Diddley, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Buddy Guy, Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, and Jimi Hendrix.
In 2005, he released his first album, Songs from the Crystal Cave, which has a mix of pop, world, country, and blues music. It features duets with Tony Rebel, Lt. Stichie, Lady Saw, and Stevie Wonder. The soundtrack to Seagal's 2005 film Into the Sun features several songs from the album. One of his album tracks, "Girl It's Alright", was also released as a single in several countries alongside an accompanying music video. Seagal's second album, titled Mojo Priest, was released in April 2006. Subsequently, he spent the summer of 2006 touring the United States and Europe with his band, Thunderbox, in support of the album.
You have to respect a man that keeps his shirt on during sex. Always ready to go never letting his guard down.
So, is Sifu just going to keep making these until he finally has a massive heart attack at 80, or what? This is actually a genuine expression of concern. No one deserves a fate like that.
80 is a bit generous..
@@BaldHeadedManc I was going to comment the same thing!🤩
He turned 71 earlier this year according to IMDb. Also according to IMDb, his last appearances in movies were in 2019. Supposedly there are three more things in development or pre-production. They don’t give details on those.
Is there something newer that’s not listed on IMDb? That’s at least 3 and a half years, maybe over 4, since he’s done anything, unless they’re mistaken or unless he’s seriously involved in development or pre-production.
I suspect we won’t see anything new from him, except his death.
We probably have all of him that we will get.
@@markiangooley I suppose even the slim chance that he'll meet his end in a prison cell is a small comfort.
@@markiangooley According to IMDB, at least last I checked, a sequel to A Good Man is in pre-production.
What in dear God is that fake Ferrari shirt? God Bless Us and Save US.
Erin’s reactions to Steven are priceless!😂
That gutteral sound of stifled bile is either grammy-award-winning acting or the real deal...
lol at Brian's Conehead laugh at Seagal loving cookies! Nice!
The old, bald gangster in the knife fight was "Hide the Pain Harold"...😂
Meth-head John Malkovich.
I love the Sefu Seagal intro music--always makes my day! Also--I lived in Paris, French people, in France do not speak English to each other.
Should have visited the part of paris that is in romania populated by romanians, english and americans
12:13 No, Erin, they’re Smiley Cookies and they’re a goddamn Pittsburgh delicacy!
STEELERS SOCKS?!?!… I knew I loved this channel for more reasons than the content
Great to see that Sifu Seagal is still cultivating mass 😂😅
Jade is a British singer in one of the top groups and was once in the Eurovision Song Contest