Tips for Being a Better Husband
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Obviously you can spend a lot of time offering tips on being a better husband, but here’s a few that are important to me and have worked well for my marriage.
This is from my University of Badassery Podcast Episode 21. Catch the full episode here • University of Badasser...
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#PatMac #PatMcNamara #tmacsinc
The obligatory "I love you" at the end of a phone call may be the last time you say that to them every time you hang up.
Once you lose someone without being able to say that one last time will change you.
Amen! I was thinking the same but not in that spectrum. But in the sense of the contradiction. Because what if You find it obligatory and she finds it necessary. Then it goes back to when he said to do what she likes even if you don’t. 💯🧠 whenever I tell my wife I love her I mean it. Maybe when you say it just feel it vs feeling it’s a lost practice 💯
Going on 30 years now. Something I’ve noticed that surprised me when I realized it… in the beginning, I was attracted to all the usual “attributes” and strengths she had. Now, 30 years later, I find myself loving her more for her challenges and the grace, dignity and courage I see in her as she strives, every day, to overcome them as we get older. She’s my warrior princess and I’ve never met a person as selfless and giving as she is.
Great one Pat - practical, real...and humorous.... I found myself chortling a couple of times. Badassery aside - it's great to see "the softer side of Pat"....no better friend, no worse enemy.
Comedian Henny Youngman: "Whenever my wife wants my opinion, she'll give it to me."
I agree with everything. But when treating her like a queen I would clarify this is because she also treats you like the king. Don’t be a simp!
^ THIS. I came here to say this, exactly. What your ex-wife took for granted, your next wife may damned well love you for. Absolutely treat them like a queen but know your worth.
Pat's divorced so I'm SURE he knows this. Maybe someone needs to read it though...
This hits home. Married for 17 years. I wasn’t always the best husband but I busted my ass for this woman. Cooked, cleaned, took my fatherly duties damned seriously, even cleaned her goddamn car for her on a very regular basis. Made sure to talk to her in depth when things weren’t great. She cheated on me a few years ago claiming I wasn’t giving her what she needed attention wise.
Things are in a much better place now and she’s genuinely remorseful and embarrassed about what transpired but I’ll be damned if I will ever forget what my effort got me.
I love my family more than anything but I’m pretty soured on the idea of marriage. Don’t think I would ever do it again.
@@ninjaxamscan’t allow one bird that didn’t sing the same song stop you from liking birds 💯. She missed out. Not the other way around. You said she feels embarrassed which shows that u were doing the right things. Otherwise she would have justified it. Don’t let the bull stop the show ! Hop back on cowboy
“ Bro I’m not four years old!” I’m going to be using that all the time now Thanks Mac!!
As the bible says, "love your wife". Love means action. When you fail to love your wife, things go downhill quick.
Be the man of the house. That doesn't mean ordering her and your kids around like some taskmaster, it means DOING stuff, being proactive, taking care of things. If you are the man of the house in this manner, she will follow you, she will listen to you. Furthermore, learn when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no'. If you're saying 'yes' out of a fear of her getting upset, then something's wrong. Your wife will look to you to steer the ship; if you always say yes, then she'll soon realize she can't look up to you for guidance - which in turn will make her lose what respect she has for you. Don't be just a 'yes' man, just a lapdog.
Just my 2 cents.
Your two cents is worth its weight in gold brother.
It says even more then that it says “love your wife as Jesus loves the church” and what did Jesus do for the church? Everything, absolutely everything, he bore the suffering and death so we don’t have to, and we as husbands have that to try ( and surely fail) to live up to.
Yes. The state of this country proves why men need to lead
I like your input but I will also add Jesus said love your wife as he loves the church. So if you’re leading your family how Jesus would lead the church, THEN she will follow you. Not just you being man of the house making weird rules and saying “ cuz I said so” you must be a child of God and carry yourself as such. Because she also looks to God before you (man)
This is not only incredible advice but a good ab workout from laughter.
Yes. Spontaneity. Surprises too. Know when you both need a break. And do it. Follow up with being grateful. Thank you.
Highly agree. We just had our 39th anniversary on 13 Aug. I've been married to my wife since I was 20 and I was quite the wild man back then. I'm HIGHLY SURPRISED she's stayed with me after all of the "stunts" I've pulled back then. I call her Saint Kathy !
AMEN to everything you said brother! I need to send this to some single gents of mine who still wonder why they’re single or can’t hold down a relationship.
Thanks PatMac!!
You came just at the right time even though this video is old, I’ve been going through a lot of shit with my woman with my child, and this kind of pointed in the right direction of how to act in regards of my personal disciplinarian action, which I have none at this seems to be helping
I had an old roommate that called me and my gf a "funny" couple. Idk what's so funny about treating your partner exactly how she deserves to be treated, the best. Not out of obligation, but because she's that special. Remember, she's someones irreplaceable daughter, about time us men put some respect on that.
These how to do life videos are valuable and much appreciated.
You're exactly right! I knew I liked you for a reason.
In addition to everything being mentioned I would add, ask your spouse how you can be a better husband and truly listen. This shows you care and value her opinion. She may also mention legit things dudes may not think of. Respect.
YO Pat I'm going through a HARD divorce...probably at the lowest point in my life I've been at in a LONG time. I consider myself a fairly hardened guy through life experiences but I'm completely crushed (totally my doing). This was what I needed to hear.
Right on 🤘🏻
This is the realest thing I heard at marriage
I like what he said about her being the queen of the castle and he is a step below. Whenever I do set my ego aside and actually do this, we get along better. Doesn't mean that shes not going to allow me to play the lead role as a man because a woman will play the role if she has to because it needs to get done but its not in her DNA to do that. Be a leader guys!
Even though I was not raised like this (my dad was not anything like this, but he grew up in a different era in Chicago), this is what I was taught by my mother, and taught myself.
I have treated all of my girlfriends and ex-wives, like this, and have taught all of my children the same (even my daughter, so she knows what to expect from her significant other - a high standard ? No. Just a realistic, honorable, respectful, and humble one.)
Some have left due to this being too much for them......some for not being enough.....
I am with the one that treasures it, and returns it in kind.
❤❤❤❤❤
We were not meant to meet until we had experienced the other things and people that focused us into who we are now, and greatfully accept.
And thus, we are together.
Love this from Danbury, CT
Lol "I didn't want her to hear me potty" me and my wife will talk to each other while we are in the bathroom if one of us is in the shower since we only have one bathroom. We have also been together for 15 years though.
Great video.. Alot people love themselves more than there spouse.
I’m 23 the world says don’t get married young but I want to take the risk
Why not?!? Go for it! I'm going to give you advice that a divorce lawyer told me. Get a prenup is not a bad thing and actually talk to a divorce lawyer and ask him/her from their experience "what do I need to do to stay out of your office?"
That's a subject that gets ignored, a lot. I've been married for nearly 15 years. I've been HAPPILY married for a little less than 10. That happiness came along after we both put in more than the bare minimum of effort. Doing little things goes a long way. Men, if you can't cook, LEARN THAT SHIT. All the stuff you hear about how men in relationships want their efforts and accomplishments recognized, works the other way too. Appreciate the value she brings to the relationship.
One of my pet peeves for married dudes is the saying, "Happy wife, happy life". Too many dudes think that if they acquiesce to their wives, give them whatever they want, that she'll be happy. HELL NO! It should say, "Happy life, happy wife." She married you (hopefully) because you're your own man. You have thoughts, opinions, and dreams, and the point of marriage is to "marry" your dreams with hers. Work together on common goals, and see how much happier your marriage is.
I agree. A happy wife doesn’t equate to a happy life.
Happy independent partner a happy combined home.
Truth
I call my wife "She who must be obeyed" a phrase coined by the great Neal Boortz of Atlanta's talk radio fame (now retired).
Why?
"She who must be obeyed" was coined by John Mortimer's character "Rumpole of the Bailey", a 1970s British sitcom about an attorney with an over-bearing wife.
Mac ".. when it comes to intimacy, I am NOT finishing first." CJ, "isn't it amazing, you are talking about the little things.." LMFAO!!
Laughter?
@@1anre it's good for the soul
“My bride is my queen!”
Don't be complacent. Participate, and respect. Act like you want them there. So many easy
18 years, 3 kids, 2 deployments, family tragedies, .... Give 100%, not 50/50, some days one of you may not be able to give 50. Do that corny romantic shit, they like it. Remember her favorite foods and snacks, buy them randomly. Don't wait to buy flowers. Don't act like you deserve some red carpet rolled out, regardless of if you're making all the money or not. Be vulnerable to her. Yield ... young one, yield during those quick stressful pop-offs that happen. If you take the aggressive defensive approach during these little 'tiffs' you can do and say things that will take days, weeks to mend. Keep the mouth shut, and take a few breathes before responding, If she's your true love, she'll apologize later, don't be afraid to do the same when you're in the wrong. Let her CRY! I KNOW! You don't know why, I don't know why, neither do THEY! Just let them freaking do it. When my daughters grew into teenagers, which cried, while saying, I don't know why I'm crying, then I realized, well shit, women can cry for no reason. If they're in the closet crying, let them. Just go in there and hold them. 10 minutes later, they'll be fine. It's just part of being a caring nurturing woman, in an ever-grueling world. Randomly dance with her, in front of the kids. She'll cry, the kids will remember it. I could go on. I'm also speaking to my younger self in this post, but hopefully it reaches some younger guys too. Cheers!
Nice.
Can you explain a bit further on the aggressive defensive approach?
@@1anre sure. I’m referring to those times where you may be talked to rudely, disrespectfully, maybe even accused of something, even if minor. Men typically are quick to fight back, defend, take a stance, and that’s good. But, not against the wife. If she’s being direct, offensive, rude, force yourself to NOT respond instantly. Take a breathe, or three lol. Diving right in, in those tense little arguments can usually lead to chaos. I’m not saying lay down and let your woman walk on your nuts. If that’s happening, you got bigger things to address. I’m talking about those small little rough around the edges moments where how you react could make or break the entire day. Most times, it’s NOT about whatever she initially said. There’s something else missing that needs addressed. Look for that angle. The root of the issue.
I really appreciate the advice
-young guy
I maybe late but hell yeah brother I ask women this question all the time "how happy would you be if your man makes you breakfast occasionally or daily" and most will tell you the same thing they would be so fucking happy when you do it occasionally its about giving each other that nice little break and giving value to what you say
28 years old, been married for almost 5 years to the girl I met in 7th grade and dated in 9th, we definitely tell each other I love you on the phone before hanging up every time, just for the simple fact, that we never know if ots the last time we get to tell eachother. Never know what kind of freak accident may happen on the road home. Or what dumb drunks might do at work, not that it ever gets crazy. But we definitely tell eachother, especially if we're upset with one another
Same here on my end
It all has to do with the woman.
Some women can't be pleased and some will abuse their power over you if you're too accommodating.
Never give a woman power over you.. And likewise, you shouldn't have power over her.. It's supposed to be a team and if she's not a team player, move along.
Solution; don't be with that woman
@@patmcnamara
Exactly!
Don't be with the wrong woman.
Pat you rock.Right on Brother.
Skid marks 😂😅 im not four
Im in tears😂
Family life is tricky business. Especially if you didn’t have an extended family, or children around.
But the best husbands, may not be the best fathers, and the best fathers, may not make the best Grandfather. You just got to hang around, and maybe one day you’ll be the best at something.
Great advice Boss
Great content here guys.
Great topic Gents
When it comes to any decision that changes the our plan of the day/near fight/long fight. We ROC drill it until it works. I drop my spades and clubs, she's lays out her hearts and diamonds when laying out the cards.
I love these lessons on how to be a better man. 🤘🤘🤘
Good advice. But just remember guys, you can do all of the things that he says to do here and sometimes it will fall on deaf ears and be ignored. So don’t expect the effort to be reciprocated. And in sometimes in the worst case, all the things you do will be ignored and you will soon find out what betrayal is. Sometimes that just happens in life. And if and when it does, don’t stick around and expect it to get any better. Then it’s time to make yourself number one.
Waxing the nose hairs sounds eye wateringly painful lol. That would make a great video for you to do, I would definitely watch it. I’ve been using scissors and trimmers for the nose hairs but the wife has mentioned that they can be waxed as well. Maybe I’ll “man up” and try it. Damn it sounds painful though lol
Hey guys good stuff.
Thanks fellas!
OMW To watch Better Bachelor.
These wise words are gonna make. Me a better husband for my wife
Your killing me Pat, now I have to put craft shows on my to do list.
GLORIOUS.
Start with the small things.
Hey! Does your wife have a list of things she’d give out on how to be a better wife? :) I’m thankful my husband and I are doing very well, but I know I can always do better. Thanks for all you do !
So nice 😊
Pat, I got a question. I'm active duty, in USAREC, my wife feels we have lost that fire like we used to have before having children. We've talked in depth about it but it keeps popping back up. How can someone like me on AD, keep a great life/work balance? And keep kicking ass at work, having a great marriage, and also get the basic dude stuff done. Thanks brother.
Wow. I thought i was the only man alive that will not do the obligatory "i love yous". One of the first things I told my wife when we got serious, was exactly that. She was shocked, but totally gets it and is on board entirely.
-Shes not a queen and I'm not a king. That doesn't mean I will not do anything for her. She knows i'd burn the world down to protect her or keep her safe. She doesn't have a list for me and I don't have one for her. This prevents all nagging. If some things don't get done? Who cares? 50 years from now everything we have will be rust or eaten by termites.
-No venting at the wrong time either. "Give me 10 mins to get my head straight and then I can listen." Unless something terrible happened, your wife can wait till you get comfortable so you can actually listen and give feedback. The husband is not the emotional dumpster for his wife. She is an adult. She needs to deal just like we deal.
-Having been happliy married for 15 years, with 3 small kids that consume all of our free time, the best advice i can give is this......
You have to both believe that the other one is coming from a good place and for your best interests. If you don't see that, you need to work on your relationship and trust.
That final sentence is real married man advice right there.
I think it's funny he don't want his wife to hear him pee. But he openly talks about looking at another guy's underwear lol
I don’t consider myself a step under my wife in my household
Outstanding video
This is better than great advice fellas.
Fantastic fellas 100%
Great stuff you two! Should be intuitive but with us guys not necessarily!
Don't forget to thank God for the woman in your life. For me there is nothing better than the team effort my wife and I make to glorifying the Lord through our life and example.
Good shit here.
"I'm not 4 bro"...🤨🤣🤙
Sorry, that's simp behavior.
You are the man, act like it.
Shocked this is the kind of family man advice Pat’s dishing out.
Will stick to only his firearm drill videos from now on
Was always told,"grown men don't have skid marks... (should say,"MOST... grown men.")
Hey wait a minute I want to take my wife to Hawaii, I’ve always wanted to go!
Date nights are good with young kids since it requires setting up child care/fam to help.
Agreed (I have 5). I am guessing Pat's point is more around the "because you want to, not bc you 'have to' i.e.- have it penciled in'."
But yes, this is absolutely the reality when you have little ones.
Personal hygiene is my second biggest insecurity, behind not taking pride my dress and appearance.
Marry a gal who obeys her father & has a good relationship with her father.
If she has no father or has issues with her father, RUN, don't walk.
Sadly, this applies to a plurality of American women. Most of the "cute" girls found at bars, concerts, and places of mass fun are going to fall into the danger zone. Date or marry these women and you are in for disaster. Don't know when, but they will never be 100 for you. Never. They will insist on perfection, you will never be perfect.
Buddy, you are SPOT on. My wife's father was somewhat abusive when she was growing up. She learned to distrust men, & has a general "if you want me to my instinct is to do the opposite" demeanor. Of course, he's since improved himself & is (now) a FANTASTIC grandfather.
She's forgiven him, but - guess who is left to pick up that baggage? Oh yeaaah - THIS guy. I'm like, "Really man? Thanks, bro...fking thanks."
We have 5 kids now though, despite a vasectomy AND tubal ligation - let that be a warning, btw lol - so I'm stuck af like Chuck until inflation subsides, I win the lottery, business takes off or - most likely - I die.
Ephesians 5:25, the Bible says that you should love your wife the way Christ loved the church.
Sounds like what pat does is what the woman should do
If Pat looked like a 50 yr old Sean Connery I would probably turn gay for that man.
you live your life however you want but im the king of my castle and the king dosent follow orders. maybe we will agree to disagree
All the men of steel have rust stains, not skid marks.
It really is the little things. You should seek to be a subject matter expert when it comes to your bride, gentlemen.
As a slick sleeved PVT in ta Eighty Duce I learned ta have a successfull marriage ya need, leadership,boundrys,and Tyrannical power! and canned spam and crackers fer sleepin in yo TRUCK.AIRBORNE.
Be good at doing dishes. And you'll have an excellent marriage.
I jump in the shower after every poopy. Not a full shower just warsh the essentials.
😂😂😂😂 truth but funny🤣🤣
So much of the item you talk about. Are missing in today's society. No Father's to teach the children..
This is such a dude's point of view on what women want. You know what she really wants you to do? The dishes and some laundry. Get up with the kids Saturday morning so she can sleep. Don't complain. About anything ever.
How to be a better husband? Simple. Basic dude stuff.
Conquer the basic dude stuff and you are a better husband. Hell, just being actively working on the basic dude stuff is being a better husband. I bought the damn T-Shirt. My wife loves it. She smiles every time I complete a task I once neglected, and follow it with a sideways look at her as I say in my best P-Mac imitation, "Cutting the okra - _basic dude stuff_ ," Or, "splitting the firewood - _basic dude stuff_ ." Or, "scrubbing the kitchen sink at the end of the day - _basic dude stuff_ ."
@@awarenesswithchris LOL! I've been happily married for 33 years. I retired in 2018. She is still working . . . Global HR Director at a Fortune Global 500 company employing about 150,000 people. She is up at 4:30 every morning. Works side-by-side with me in our 10,000 sq.ft. garden, washes my clothes, cooks 90% of my meals. She doesn't drink coffee, but if she wanted a "latte", I'd get her one. Women aren't "finding other Chads". Girls are. Women don't "have to be engaged or they cause chaos. " Girls do. You seem to have a fundamental identification issue . . . difficulty in differentiating between a woman and a girl. HINT: It has nothing to do with their age. I appreciate the response , bro, but you are projecting. And obviously so.
@@awarenesswithchris sure. Let her be busy and engaged with things in the home too
Happy wife happy life. Same with girlfriends!
@@awarenesswithchris I appreciate the feedback. But I’m still not sure what you mean?
@@awarenesswithchris your analysis is correct but dudes who don’t want to be on Pat’s bad side who like or confirm you’re spitting facts here.
We that our eyes have been open to the way of the world with women have refused to follow the age old trope that’s lead to more male suicides that men deployed in combat - chasing trying to please & make a woman constantly happy.
A man who does not fear his wife is not married.
Sounds like a hostage situation lol
@@Kevinj36541 Stockholm syndrome
Weak advice
And what does the women need to do? It’s all on the men?
Wow
❤
Compare this with Patrice O'neil says. LOL
You’re opening statement is weak man . What it seems to me “happy wife happy life “is narcissistic.
You are creating a beta male .
Nothing you said here reflects on one’s self .
There should be equality with sharing . Both individuals should contribute to the cause.
What I just heard was a one side road .
I came here hoping to hear something more then to just be a beta
Pat, I have much respect for all that you have done,, do and say.. However might want to measure your simping.. I am just speaking from personal experience ..
👍
The end of this conversing turned out to be a shit story.
I heard Matriarch and left
Apt
Why? Because she’s not asking you to make $300,000 a yr, , blah, blah blah.
Actually surprised to hear this from an ex D-boy.
Was expecting some macho redpill tips on being firm but showing love & letting your wife always be in your frame typa advice from PatMac.
Guess what he’s seen with his first wife didn’t get him jaded about women in general & he’s even open to letting his new wife have her way & “lead” a man with such an “A-type” personality which other men already respect a lot.
Bro if you don’t know baby wipes is the way by now you bugging out
Good stuff Pat. Kind of Dude stuff. Totally agree. I’m not perfect but the wife is queen. And it is a truism. Happy wife…happy life.
Wrong ideology & the quickest way to dig yourself into a very deep rut. Don’t try it.
Happy partner happy life
Be a better husband…basic dude stuff.
The best tip is simply to not get married
Basic dude stuff