SEX is POWERFUL | A conversation with a Sex Therapist | The Basement w- Tim Ross
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
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HAPPY EARLY VALENTINES DAY! This is a special one. Let us know how this ep impacted you!
We need part 2
Please bring her back because… SHEESH!
So many wow learning moments in this episode!
this deserves a series on its own
Can you talk about manifestation and Christianity
Y'all we need to be praying for Tim... I know he's being used by God to break chains in so many people's lives. Our God is faithful AND I believe he needs the dwellers to be covering him in prayer as God is working through him.
God look out for Tim your son I ask you keep his feet from stumbling sand to keep his heart open always before you. Keep him amen.
Yes, praying for pastor Tim💜He has words for what happend to him en how it has affected him AND he knows how to use them. Thank You.God bless pastor Tim and everyone under his voice here🥳
Yessss we need to pray for him…. in name of Jesus … bless Tim! Thank you for sending him to shed your light and break chains🙏🏾
Amen 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you, JEHOVAH GOD for Tim Ross, the Bassement Crew and his guests 🙏🏽 I pray for their protection and and their gifts you installed in them to spread far and wide continuing to influence & inspire people to do better in their lives & help others. In yeshuweh's name amen.
I appreciate this so much! I’m preparing to talk to my sons about sex and appreciate you falsifying the notion that sex with a condom is “safe sex”. I had a Tim Ross “thank you Holy Spirit” moment where God said to me a condom protects your penis but your mind, heart and spirit remains vulnerable and at risk. Sex outside the context of marriage will ALWAYS be high risk 🙏🏽
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾this is good!
Your moment just helped me! Woah... thank you so much for sharing this compassionate language. I have a 7 year old as well & fellow friends in our 20s and have been trying to find language that speaks about why sex is high risk! Thank you sooooooooo very much.
woah 🤯🤯
So this is my crazy faith statement… I will be on The Basement. When God allows for that door to be opened, I will be ready. Holy Spirit has already confirmed this to me and my circle ⭕️ In Jesus name, it is done, Amen.
Can’t wait!
same no cap in Jesus Name.
What will be the topic so I can list it?
Amen!!
Amen
"We've made sex dangerous in our culture. In and of itself, it is NOT dangerous." That's huge! Thanks Jenna 💖
Sti, std is scary. But I understand your point
Would LOVE to hear Jenna’s take on how we should be educating children on sex at different ages in a future pod ❤
Word!
The point around 1:03:00 hit me hard. I asked a girl on a date a few months ago because I thought we were an excellent match. I had gotten to know who she was, but I didn’t give her any of myself, so she (rightly) rejected me after the first date. I was lonely and was happy to talk about everyone else, but I didn’t want to show people who I am.
"There is no arrival point in life, yet we are so obsessed with finish lines." Wow Tim!! I just cannot get over how powerful this episode is! LIFE CHANGING stuff was said! I will have to go back MULTIPLE TIMES and rewatch this! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Tim!!! God bless you!!!
I LOOVVEEE this conversation SO MUCH!! I love that this has EVERYTHING to do with sex and nothing to do with sex AT the SAME TIME! I still have 38 mins left to watch, but I had to comment that I've always struggled with the idea (just the thought) of being intimate (not even sex, just talking) with a significant other, but I have no problem with family and friends, and it's because of safety. I didn't feel safe (and during those times-- I DEFINITELY had my alarm system going off, but couldn't figure out why) and rather than doing the work to find out why, I summed it up to "you're just wired different," or "you've always been weird," and hearing this convo about "you're walking, there is no destination" has honestly brought me to tears. I didn't even know I needed to hear this as much as I did. I thought I felt 10 pounds lighter after healing my anger against my father.....*phew* didn't know I'd loss another 15 from this convo alone.
This brought me so much healing! Especially as an individual who can’t afford therapy. Thank you Tim♥️
Check hospital with behavioral clinic and see if the offer financial medical assistance. Hospital are required to offer Medical Financial Assistance for uninsured and uninsured. There are some exceptions
This was AMAZING!!! As a mom of 11 and a wife of 14yrs I understand that I was poorly EDUCATED in so many things. So I'm grateful for people who are educated in those areas with the voice to help us. G ta Gratitude 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤❤
Jenna needs to be a regular on here. You two talking about intimacy is a healing mechanism for marriages, the second greatest covenant in our lives.
Trauma takes away power, voice and choice. And it has to be given back
When you said “everybody out here in a same sex relationship is not out here because they were born this way” I felt that in the very being of my soul.. I too was sexually abused around 7-8 years old by a teenage girl and from there I thought I was attracted to girls… I never opened up about it until 25 years old… it was something that was so confusing but felt so nice to tell someone . THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!
❤️
Wow thank you so much for sharing Mariana! Reading your comment actually reminded me how the same thing happened to me when I was the same age.. I always thought that I was attracted to girls but I wasn’t…I was traumatized by a girl which made me believe that.
I know see the importance of talking about experiences/traumas/pain , because you never know who you might save!! Thank you, God bless you
Wow! Same! I was sexually touched by a teenage boy cousin at 5, my virginity was stripped by a different boy cousin around 16, and then was sexually introduced to a trusted teenage family girl friend shortly after. As a young mom of 4 now in my late 20s.... this episode is so overwhelming for me. I didn't understand the depth of my sexual trauma until today that also kept me more secretly attracted to women. Now, I assume because it felt "safer" with her than my experiences with those male family members and previous male partners. Yet, I have a husband and have never identified as homosexual. I'm just overwhelmed right now as you can see, lol. My alarm system has been off for a very very long time. I pray that the deeper we go, the greater and more bold we may become in our healing and helping others make sense of their traumas and assumptions.
@@shiyabrookins wow
Same, and this is coming from a male.
OMG!!! I am 66 years young and the wisdom nuggets dropped on this program has just exploded in my soul!!! Wish I would have known what I know now 40 years ago!!! Pentecostal church raised me to believe that if it looks good, smells good, or tastes good… You were going straight to hell… Lol Today with programs like yours, you can experience freedom decades, sooner!!!👏👏👏
🤯 can’t have fun if your not safe. Makes so much sense as to why sex with my ex-husband stop being enjoyable. I wasn’t safe anymore. I dealt with physical, emotional and verbal abuse and I stopped feeling safe. I felt like the sex was trash not realizing it was because I wasn’t safe and it would never be enjoyable until I felt safe again. Wow!! All praises to the Most High for showing me that.
For real!!!!
She mentioned that partners should kiss before they get married. I am genuinely afraid that if I kiss a man I'm really into, I'll have sex with him. In fact, I am afraid that I can't be alone with a man that I'm seriously dating without having sex with him. How do I navigate this?
Accountability and boundary setting. Kissing can still be off the table because there are other ways intimacy can happen. Expectations and communication early on in the relationship need to happen as well. Tell him this is a struggle for you. Don't rely on him to stop you and vice versa. I hold dating accountability sessions for single women, this is common. Your discernment is key!
Can you invite her back to discuss getting over/through past/childhood sexual trauma & how to be comfortable/sexually free in marriage.
This destination thing has been programmed in us in the schooling system. I will be growing until I am dead. I am so teaching this to my kids
The information spoken here is not only educational but healing. ❤thank y’all so much for this platform
Amen.
This one was so interesting! You guys gave me alot to think about. Here are 3 takeaways:
1. This past year, feeling safe has come up ALOT. Lately I've been wondering why I feel so safe with some friends, but with others I am less open. The truth is that not trusting most people has been my habit for a long time and recently I have been searching for the "why".
2. The idea of going back to early childhood was enlightening. And how it relates to the things I learned at home that as an adult I would have known were not true and yet as a kid, I thought were true. Unlearning seems like a long journey, lol.
3. What she said about sex drive and how everyone is made a little different... some have higher sex drives than others. And then that bit on arousal.🤯
I crave more from this conversation!! Thank you so much for the education and clarity!!
My marriage could have been saved if my husband would have agreed to work with me on what his betrayal had done to me. This right here is healing for me. I’m I’m in therapy now and this has just helped me in ways I never imagined!!!
39:06 !!!!!!! She is amazing and can interpret things like no other. She's so aware of the core issue with people and the realm of emotions in our society that it's scary. TURN IT ON
“Being very fruitful and multiplying nothing” love it
Love the comment that safety is the foundation of positive emotions. Relationships is the mortar that builds that foundation
“Sex is never spoken about” yet we live in one of the most sexualized societies in the world.
I have a 2 year old grandson. Two daughters, 18 & 20. I went through sexual trauma as early as I can remember, 4 yrs old or till I was 9. More trauma through foster care. Very promiscuous throughout the rest of my life l, and an addict that twisted even more so the perverse sin in my life. This podcast is LIFE CHANGING!! Real perspective that I can teach and use with my grandson, my daughters, and in ministry. Thank you both😭🙌🏼🔥
By far one of my favorites. I love all the podcast but this one was so educational and real!! Both of you did an incredible amazing job. Thank you!!
Dang…. I’m going to marry someone I don’t know 😂
Not gonna lie!! Tuesdays take forever to get here when I've already watched the pod!!! 😅😅😅 I'm excited it's Tuesday!!! 😊😊☺️☺️
As a believer and receiver of Creation story the way the Creator intended with procreation and multiplying the earth, it doesn’t stand to reason that ANYBODY was born gay or lesbian. Sexual orientation is what it sounds like, a choice. We decide who we are going to have sexual relationships with, and having a predisposed disposition from environment or traumatic situations has a lot to do with how that choice or decision is made.
Let’s stop blaming God for our intentional or unintentional choices.
Let’s heal on purpose.
If we are born in sin, then we are born with all sorts of predilections, some genetic and some aren’t. Orientation is how you are born. Doesn’t mean every person in a gay relationship was born with that proclivity towards a specific sin though. Some people really did choose that based on experiences
You can decide to act on it though. If you do have a certain tendency towards homosexuality, you can always opt out. There’s many people who become Christian but never experience heterosexual attraction, so they remain single and celibate for life.
This was a WONDERFUL episode. So much of what I was taught about sex was learned in church. And when I tell you, THIS was a healing balm! 😭❤️
I’m single but I’m so excited to one day implement these tactics in my marriage one day. I’m excited for the journey and the work I’ll have to put in for my marriage one day.
Open that box. We want all the smoke!! You don’t understand how this hit home for me. I could cry. This is the conversation that needs to be included in sex ed. I truly appreciate this conversation and your points of views. This podcast never ceases to amaze me!!!! Keep blessing us!
Omg. ALLLLLLLL of this. That alarm system illustration hit home on a different level b/c I JUST DID THAT with ours a few months back 😆 That one illustration opened my eyes to how I've been dealing with (rather avoiding) various issues in my life. Y'all I LITERALLY fell on the floor bawling right here in my kitchen! 😭 #breakthrough
That betrayal recovery is something that's been plaguing me and I've learned a lot here. Thanks Tim and Jenna.
I haven’t had but 1 good woman therapist. & 1 very good man psychologist right now. I’m working on a better team. My Ph.D is in neuropsychiatry so I expect to meet a lot more. I’m excited because I can really listen and talk about mental health more these days than law (my current field of practice). It’s like a whole treasure trove for those of us washing off religious doctrine of all type.
Freedom!!!
Encore, Jenna!
This was so uncomfortable for me to sit through but it made me so aware of my touch points it’s really crazy
Another unscheduled midday LIVE would do us some good after this conversation.
Yessss❤
1:02:16 #CLIPIT Vulnerability includes sharing with other people. If you are always listening or talking about other people in your life…you aren’t being vulnerable or getting seen.
Yes we need more Jenna. Thank you for coming on the podcast please come back like once a quarter
For me it was the safety… spoke so deeply to my current season and gave me context to some things I haven’t been able to verbalize. Thank you. ❤
No boundaries = going into shame.💜
That was the best thing said & it was a soundbite. Ok, Jenna!!!!
Infertility issues can make having sex hard. I’ve felt like what’s the point if I can’t conceive. Great talk ❤
THIS CONVO WAS THE BEST I HAVE EVER HEARD, I MADE SO MUCH NOTES ON THIS AND HAD LAUGHS NOT BECAUSE ANYTHING WAS FUNNY BUT THE DEEP INTIMACY OF THIS CONVERATION AND ITS DEEEEEEEP
Anytime Tim talks about sex im down for it because the first time i saw him was on Dear Future Wifey before i watched Help Im Horny and the two made sense, i knew i must watch this the moment i saw it ❤ we need more people in the church to talk about sex this way
Thank you for this...Never once have I even considered a need for sex therapy. As I listened I took an inventory of the myriad of unhealthy sexual experiences I have had. Some by choice, some not. It brought me to tears, not in shame but grief. Grief for missing out on the pure gift of sex God created for our enjoyment & the tainted way I chose or sometimes has been forced on me. I realized it has colored my view and ability to freely experience the kind of sex God gifted us. I see now the need and benefit of sex therapy. To take every thought captive, renew my mind & heart experiences to have fullness in this area of life.
It’s Tuesday, Let’s Goooooooooooo! ( in my Tim Ross voice) 😂
❤❤❤let’s gooo
I'm receiving healing and deliverance by just watching this video. Thank you Tim Ross and Jenna for this session.
I’m not finished this first full podcast and I already need Jenna back🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️
We need her back on the basement more often. This is so good!
I can't wait for parts 2, 3, and four. I am very appreciative of this conversation.
I was so excited to watch this one and so unprepared for the emotional response it brought out of me. How do we find a quality therapist?
NOT LONG ENOUGH! 😅 Will def need her back on! After this conversation, I feel SO inadequate to have this kind of conversations with my kiddos. I thought I had it down, but not so much.
I love that most men are like this when it comes to protecting in relationships. At least that’s been my experience. Very thoughtful. They track pedicures, vagina health, hair health, podiatry health, even nutrition health. Men really go all in when it comes to the woman’s body. I found it quite fascinating over the years… all that they know & are curious about. All of the men in previous relationships with me knew more about my body than I did. They are the reason I’m thoroughly enjoying this new self love season for myself. They taught me very well. God is good and faithful.
I am 33 mins into this program and not once have I heard anything about God. I'm really disappointed. This is suppose to be a Christian podcast, and the topic is sex. Not that it's a topic about sex. But I feel, if that's the topic, then it should be established what sex is in the very beginning. That its between a MAN and WOMAN who is in a marriage relationship ONLY. Now I could be completely wrong. At some point after 33 mins they could've brought it up. But it shouldve been established from the get go. It really felt like I was watching a secular podcast.
I am going to watch this again soon. Currently trying to unlearn the purity culture I was raised with, and there are so many things here I wish I had heard growing up.
Divorce ourselves from the finish line ❣️
This is alot of great information...😯I need to watch this again coz the thought processing is not for one day....such quality😯❤❤
This episode is the marriage conference we need for breakthrough in our marriages. Gain clarity and some essential tools that I will implement in my marriage. Simply Amazing !!!
I'm gna be honest this conversation made me uncomfortable in terms of possibly unearthing things I didnt realise I went through as a kid but it felt so healthy to be listening to it. It helps. Good conversation🙏🏾
My goodness!! This conversation ministered to me so incredibly! So grateful to Holy Spirit for directing me to listen. Tim, you MUST have her back as often as possible! Thank you both. My future partner and I will definitely watch/listen and study this. I pray GOD continues to work in and through you all!
I rewatched the explanation of the fire alarm like 5 times and it went over my head. Can someone break it down another way please?
I need a diagram! 🤣
How was this one of the shortest pods?!?! This was sooo good. It needed to be longer, these conversations need to be had. I do have a question, when the topic of safe space was introduced immediately, I thought of love languages and how people identify themselves with them. I would love some insight on this because like most things it feels like love languages have been corrupted and almost like a cheat code for easy manipulation. Also this question/comment is opened to that chat as well.
Thank you for bringing this up! We are going to be talking about love languages on our podcast and I love your take.
I hear that! Condom is not sex protection but pregnancy protection. This is huge.
I feel safe and safer in listening to this podcast ❣️❣️
I will be doing therapy and this will be a part of it. Sex and sensuality are complex NOT simple! Profound!
Thank you, truly. 👍💯📖
I’m
Wow! Her alarm analogy could be used in so many facets of life! Love it
Can we go deeper on the nuances with fornication given the safety, communication etc?
This episode was amazing. We’ve been taught so many wrong things around sex in the Christian community that now we have to deal with as adults in our marriages. I so so highly appreciate this…
Deactivating your alarm system don’t increase your safety at all WHAT this thing is so mind blowing I’m enjoying it. Still have two hour to watch.
Tim, this podcast just reached new heights. I’m officially a dweller!
Yes! I use Lumé and I love it! You should have their owner on to talk she is amazing from a women's health and function perspective!
Timmy, you brave man … and an inspiration to us young men. You’re changing the lives of men for generations. Keep on being you bro. Excellence.
Saying thank you is not enough to explain how this saved me from my trauma at 18 years old. HUGE relief. Almost 15 years later God has shown me SO much. I am so grateful for these podcasts 💕💕
Thank you Heavenly Father for bringing me this episode and healing my pain. Thank you Tim and thank you to your amazing guest. 🙏🏾
Does anyone know any books that talk about the emotions and alarm systems framework she is using. So profound.
The Body Keeps Score - Dr Bessal Van Der Kolk
I know this is her first time on the podcast. But I need y’all to come harder next time. Pun intended.
Maybe visit the Huberman lab podcast for some content, so we don’t have to keep saying ‘it’s so complex’
Mr. Tim Ross.... bring Ms. Marvel BACK soon, please. Much appreciated --Basement dweller
I’ve gotten so much from every podcast but wow. This one. I learned so much for my marriage. I learned so much for raising a son. Just wow. Thank you for this knowledge.
My favourite of these sessions is the guy who is always laughing cracking up at the back… he just makes me laugh every time!!!!!!
With all due respect, this needs to have a part 2. There is so much that I believe was left on the table. Please consider it.
Y’all are just throwing grenades, but I love that the convo got organized around safety. That’s a good place to start. Cuz I was like ‘where is this going’ cuz the convo can go anywhere, depending. I appreciate how organic this convo is [duh, it’s the basement].
This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
This is so healing! Currently engaged and ready to utilize these for an incredibly safe and connected sex life
This conversation is so profound and rich. But how many noticed this is not just about sexual relationships, but relationships in general? This conversation needs multiple views to unpack it. I am so glad it is on video. 🤦🏾♀️🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
You only connect when you talk about yourself.
Let yourself be known. That’s vulnerability
Look here…I’m going to start saying, “stay out of my uterus.” 🙌🏾
Ma’am, can you do a mini series? My God in Heaven!
I’m only 38 mins in and feel a bandaid has been ripped off me. Exposed and hurt, but it’s necessary to find healing. Thank you 🥺
This guy at my job asked me when I’m having kids and I told him to stay out of my uterus 😂
Whoop whoop gonna save this one for tomorrow. So I can ignore my coworker cause I am getting educated ❤
I’ll be on the podcast with Tim Ross in the basement. I truly believe that whatever Holy Spirit reveals to His people will always come to pass. On His terms and time.
Wow… A safe space huh?
Guess I needed to hear it all the way through. 🤔
This whole "destination point" discussion so resonates with me! I am a recovering addict. I have struggled so badly with my choices and experiences in life. I have been trying to work through so much as well as let go of my past and trying to believe that my past does not define me. The argument I have always had with this is once we are labeled an "addict", THAT never goes away. It never goes away. Accepting this has been tough. I've been battling depression and anxiety. Hearing that possibly we should work on not focusing on a "destination".,,,do you know how good that sounds to me?? That sounds fkn amazing. To me, every day that I can get my butt up and out of bed and get through my day, sometimes is a complete miracle! Many people do not realize how miraculous this can be for some of us.
My, My! Thank you for yet another amazing episode. There was confirmation for me in the way I have spoken and educated my four girls while being a single mother and after marriage. I grew up sex was never talked about in any manner like it was taboo. I was an ignorant teen who became pregnant and then ostracized from my family and church for a season. I took responsibility for my part and for many years my parents didn’t, I learned recently they didn’t because they were never educated.
Thank you again for keeping it so real and transparent and for normalizing these conversations especially as and for Christ followers. ❤
When you look good, you feel good
Having an obsession with the finish line is so crazy accurate
Jenna needs to be a regular on here. You two talking about intimacy is a healing mechanism for marriages, the second greatest covenant in our lives. So many marriages are broken - even within the Church body. We need healing and restoration in these relationships worldwide.
This episode was extremely insightful and a breath of fresh air in a world where so many are afraid of talking about this. Thank you Basement team and Jenna ❤
I really wish I could put into words all of what this Episode has given me. I knew that The Basement/Tim Ross resonated with me …Jenna you have sealed it.
My therapist had me read “The Body Keeps the Score”
Your “Alarm System” had me flash all the way back to my childhood.
I’m big on Safety!
Communication (I’m a Speech Pathologist that has worked with some of the poorest communicators as peers in relationships😮).
I became a lifestyle/sex Coach on my healing journey (trying to figure out how to stay in a safe place and teach others)
Soo much to grow on from this. Exponentially Powerful Episode To God be the Glory!!!