New lifeline Merch! lifelinemerch.com Come to the live show in Oxnard! www.ticketweb.com/event/lifeline-live-with-chris-and-oxnard-levity-live-tickets/13908083?pl=oxnardlevity
Hey wedding guy! I get what you are saying! Wedding etiquette IS based off the meals! If it were me I’d definitely give a GIFT instead of money because I was required to bring food!
Hey Chris, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. My son is about 6 months younger than Calvin, and during those rough times when my son Milo had colic, your comedy really helped me get through some tough days. It felt like a lifeline when I needed a laugh or a distraction. Seeing how you talk about fatherhood with Calvin always makes me feel more connected and understood. I recently watched you perform in Thunder Bay, and it was an incredible show. I wish I could’ve met you after to say this in person, but I wanted to drop a message to let you know how much you’re appreciated. Please keep going and don’t give up-you’ve got so much love and support from your fans, and most importantly, your family. Thank you for all you do!
Saying no one likes ham, made me think of when Shane recently was on Ari’s podcast and said he ate so much ham in Spain that the salt burnt his tongue off lol
I normally agree with you guys but you couldn’t be further off on the wedding gift thing. General rule of thumb for a wedding when you aren’t purchasing off of their registry is cover the price of your plate. Give or take $125 a person. You and your wife are going you bring $250 in a card. He was asking because the food is potluck how much should he bring in his card.
I completely disagree. It honesty depends on who the wedding is for. If it’s for a close friend or a family member. You bring a gift, to bring a gift, not to cover a cost really. But if it’s for somebody that you kind of know or a mutual friend, maybe cover the cost of your food and also give a small gift as well.
@@HarrietThugman bro what lol. The guy said you should cover the cost of food, then you said you "completely" disagree then go on to say if it's someone you know then you should cover the cost of food plus a gift
To the guy who asked about the wedding gift - you are not crazy lol, I’ve heard from MANY people that the way they determine how much money to give for a wedding gift is generally based on covering the cost of their food. *generallyyyyy* So now that it’s a potluck… I have no idea how to help you 😅
Dudes... y'all hit 45 min and just ascend into 3am and still awake at my best friend's 11th birthday party sleepover. Don't get me wrong, I'm here for it.
Hahahahahaha the best comment I’ve seen on here- this becomes 100000 times funnier if you think this is Chris by himself talking out loud and Matt’s the voice in he’s head he struggles with 😂
Canadian here. We love Ham. I mean like come on, peameal bacon. And just throwing this extra part in, many of us also like pineapple on pizza. WITH SOME MUTHA TRUKKIN HAM, DAWG!!!
Australians are exactly the same lol, ham, cheese, maybe some relish is a staple in just about every household. Christmas ham? Sign me up. 'Hawaiian' pizza? Most popular pizza you can buy here regardless of chain or location lol
43:12 I don't know how people can have friends and after years they grow apart, leading one to say to themselves, "I don't feel like being friends with them anymore". I am 45 and yes, I have had a few friends that I no longer have as friends but it is because that person wronged me, I wronged them, or something unavoidable happened to end it. But almost all of my lifetine friends I still consider my friend, even if we haven't spoken in 20 years. Though to be fair, some of them may not feel the same as I do - like the young lady that called in. I feel like I am the odd one for this. Same with my romantic relationships. I have been in 4 long-term relationships (married now - 8 years) and every time the girl broke up with me. I have never once stopped loving someone. I don't understand that. Even when things are very rough or they did something worthy of me leaving. Not because I am weak but because I still loved them
I don't think you're that odd. I'm the same, and a few of my exes are the same. Not to mention I have friends I only see every few years or more and we still get along like a house on fire anytime we hangout. I've never "drifted apart" so far that I didn't have feelings for a person anymore. Genuine love, in any form, lasts. But relistening to her submission, she clearly just has trouble communicating that she doesn't like people, and winds up being friends with them and then is in a weird spot lol
I’m a stay-at-home mom too, and I’d be pissed if someone said “thank your husband because I know it’s from him”. We moms are the ones who take the time to think of people, pick out gifts, etc. We are the ones who keep our households and families running. I’m a SAHM and I have no time to do anything for myself. It’s not easy! And I breastfeed my daughter. It’s a hard job. But there’s nothing else I’d rather do than be with my kids ❤ P.s. Love you guys! ❤
I can answer Matt's bear question. 90% of brown bear videos in America are from Bristol Bay alaska, those bears spend 90% of their life just eating unlimited salmon. They've become pretty used to humans in the sightseeing areas where guides take people. Inland brown bears (grizzlys) don't spend that much time of their lives with unlimited salmon nor see as many humans. So those bears act like sketchballs
What is wrong with people avoiding direct communication at all costs?? The woman around 48:00 is 120% the ahole...what do you expect your friend to think if you TELL her that YOU WANT to catch up? Its extremely entitled to expect people to read between the lines because you're too "busy" to communicate directly. Mean what you say and have integrity.
Chris, I really can't wait for your feedback on Duluth. It is such a weirdly perfect city that I'm sure you will either hate it, or be in love with it. It's a city stuck in time, operating the same way for decades but somehow remaining with the times.
I’m addicted to RUclips but have sketchy Wi-Fi/coverage in the forest where I live so the videos in my smart downloads I often go to in the night. After the latest refresh 2 of the 5 smart downloads are Chris D Elia podcasts. Even in these circumstances I’ m switching off under a minute in.
I’ve been quick to call Matt a dick in the past. Credit were credit is due Matt ,this episode ,has been brilliant. Couldn’t agree more with the stand-up part.
On the subject of canker sores, I have like 13 right now from getting dentures (not from drugs don’t be dumb) AND so many sharp bone fragments poking through them from the teeth that were pulled. A mouth migraine…..that’s it. A mouth migraine.
To the former teacher now SAHM as a former school nurse and very soon to be SAHM, fuck those people. You deserve better friends around you. Sending love. ❤
I stopped wasting my time and I break up with friends now. I'll give a small explanation why and tell them I wish them nothing but the best and then ghost them after that.
New lifeline Merch! lifelinemerch.com
Come to the live show in Oxnard! www.ticketweb.com/event/lifeline-live-with-chris-and-oxnard-levity-live-tickets/13908083?pl=oxnardlevity
guy at 24:52 had the perfect opportunity to end with "so anyways chris i saw you in"
“You can call me Tort for short” absolutely sent me lmfaooo😂😂😂😂
“Worst magician ever” cracked me up 😂
“Getting mediocre head” 😂😂😂 35:44
Hey wedding guy! I get what you are saying! Wedding etiquette IS based off the meals! If it were me I’d definitely give a GIFT instead of money because I was required to bring food!
Greatest show of all time! Booyah, pimpin, booyah booyah! 💥🥊
Annnnnnnnnd booyah
Annnnnnnnnnnnnd pimpin
I’m honored you chose
Me as a submission! Love this podcast.
Hey Chris,
I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. My son is about 6 months younger than Calvin, and during those rough times when my son Milo had colic, your comedy really helped me get through some tough days. It felt like a lifeline when I needed a laugh or a distraction. Seeing how you talk about fatherhood with Calvin always makes me feel more connected and understood.
I recently watched you perform in Thunder Bay, and it was an incredible show. I wish I could’ve met you after to say this in person, but I wanted to drop a message to let you know how much you’re appreciated. Please keep going and don’t give up-you’ve got so much love and support from your fans, and most importantly, your family.
Thank you for all you do!
Just got my ham sandwich delivered, can't wait to sit down and watch this while I eat it.
Matt what your doing is great.
“I’m in the iron altar right now and I’m getting my fucking swoll on thank Jesus Christ” 😂
48:37 hilarious!!😂😂
Saying no one likes ham, made me think of when Shane recently was on Ari’s podcast and said he ate so much ham in Spain that the salt burnt his tongue off lol
lmao I just watched aris pod with Shane last night
Same! 😂
Hahaha I just listened to that one too😂
Yup! Jamonnn
I normally agree with you guys but you couldn’t be further off on the wedding gift thing. General rule of thumb for a wedding when you aren’t purchasing off of their registry is cover the price of your plate. Give or take $125 a person. You and your wife are going you bring $250 in a card. He was asking because the food is potluck how much should he bring in his card.
I completely disagree. It honesty depends on who the wedding is for. If it’s for a close friend or a family member. You bring a gift, to bring a gift, not to cover a cost really. But if it’s for somebody that you kind of know or a mutual friend, maybe cover the cost of your food and also give a small gift as well.
@@HarrietThugman if you read your comment again you'd realize you don't "completely disagree" lmao
God imagine taking life/events this seriously and strictly. What a sham and a waste of effort. “You have to do life this way” nah
@@ChildishGambeaner Explain sir
@@HarrietThugman bro what lol. The guy said you should cover the cost of food, then you said you "completely" disagree then go on to say if it's someone you know then you should cover the cost of food plus a gift
Less than 5 minutes in and I'm cracking up😂The sheer speed of rhe brotherly dissing is too much😂
To the guy who asked about the wedding gift - you are not crazy lol, I’ve heard from MANY people that the way they determine how much money to give for a wedding gift is generally based on covering the cost of their food. *generallyyyyy*
So now that it’s a potluck… I have no idea how to help you 😅
Update: we brought the food and $100
The banter in this one is incredible 😂
siiiick bantah innit
Sick innit
Thank you guys I love ya !!
Dudes... y'all hit 45 min and just ascend into 3am and still awake at my best friend's 11th birthday party sleepover.
Don't get me wrong, I'm here for it.
This episode felt like it flew by!! Great episode as always
Me, listening to this, driving to the store to get ham 😢😂
😂 turn the car around
They clearly never had the brown sugar ham from Wegmans 😂
Hahahahahaha the best comment I’ve seen on here- this becomes 100000 times funnier if you think this is Chris by himself talking out loud and Matt’s the voice in he’s head he struggles with 😂
What comment?
@@d-rockanomaly9243 if you think this is Chris by himself talking out loud and Matt’s the voice in he’s head he struggles with 😂
the FUCK are you talking about !?
Oh ohh gotcha lol. Alright I'll give it a go
Great episode, fav podcast ⭐💗
“the guy who played the director in Entourage” FLOORED ME lmaooo Billy Walsh 🤣🤣
😮scrolling comments and read this just as he was saying it 😮😮😮 crazzzzzy
@@An93la.SO DID I 😮😮
Upload earlier next time, and that's obvious!!!
shut ur shithole
Ssssspicky tho. It's free. Ssssdumb
😀
😂
S’privileged childhood
I like Ham
I'm vegetarian and I fuckin like ham bruh.
Canadian here. We love Ham. I mean like come on, peameal bacon. And just throwing this extra part in, many of us also like pineapple on pizza. WITH SOME MUTHA TRUKKIN HAM, DAWG!!!
Australians are exactly the same lol, ham, cheese, maybe some relish is a staple in just about every household. Christmas ham? Sign me up. 'Hawaiian' pizza? Most popular pizza you can buy here regardless of chain or location lol
Eyy thanks for the shoutout! ✊
Y'all are the best
Today Matt looks like someone who would be comped free tickets to watch US Open Tennjs Finals.
43:12
I don't know how people can have friends and after years they grow apart, leading one to say to themselves, "I don't feel like being friends with them anymore".
I am 45 and yes, I have had a few friends that I no longer have as friends but it is because that person wronged me, I wronged them, or something unavoidable happened to end it.
But almost all of my lifetine friends I still consider my friend, even if we haven't spoken in 20 years.
Though to be fair, some of them may not feel the same as I do - like the young lady that called in.
I feel like I am the odd one for this.
Same with my romantic relationships.
I have been in 4 long-term relationships (married now - 8 years) and every time the girl broke up with me.
I have never once stopped loving someone.
I don't understand that.
Even when things are very rough or they did something worthy of me leaving.
Not because I am weak but because I still loved them
I don't think you're that odd. I'm the same, and a few of my exes are the same. Not to mention I have friends I only see every few years or more and we still get along like a house on fire anytime we hangout.
I've never "drifted apart" so far that I didn't have feelings for a person anymore. Genuine love, in any form, lasts.
But relistening to her submission, she clearly just has trouble communicating that she doesn't like people, and winds up being friends with them and then is in a weird spot lol
The baby names bit at the end had me in tears 😂
Those babies will be getting snapchatted soon 🤣
been saying this about ham. it's not good and people are being deceitful about their ham intentions.
The guy on the right... Take it EASY with the COOLNESS... YOU'RE A PODCASTER.
I’m a stay-at-home mom too, and I’d be pissed if someone said “thank your husband because I know it’s from him”. We moms are the ones who take the time to think of people, pick out gifts, etc. We are the ones who keep our households and families running. I’m a SAHM and I have no time to do anything for myself. It’s not easy! And I breastfeed my daughter. It’s a hard job. But there’s nothing else I’d rather do than be with my kids ❤
P.s. Love you guys! ❤
You are the ones who keep households running? Only you?
@@realtitaniumtimclearly you are unmarried. Are u actually curious or are you just trying to minimize a woman’s testament. Go touch grass 🙄🙄🙄
@@realtitaniumtimteam effort. She runs from the inside and he runs from the outside. Team!
@@meggiemegggs exactly!!!!
Holy shit 😂 stay at home moms are fucking ridiculous! You people act like you have the hardest jobs in the world
I can answer Matt's bear question. 90% of brown bear videos in America are from Bristol Bay alaska, those bears spend 90% of their life just eating unlimited salmon. They've become pretty used to humans in the sightseeing areas where guides take people.
Inland brown bears (grizzlys) don't spend that much time of their lives with unlimited salmon nor see as many humans. So those bears act like sketchballs
What is wrong with people avoiding direct communication at all costs?? The woman around 48:00 is 120% the ahole...what do you expect your friend to think if you TELL her that YOU WANT to catch up? Its extremely entitled to expect people to read between the lines because you're too "busy" to communicate directly. Mean what you say and have integrity.
Runk ❤❤❤❤
My coworker who is insufferable, is currently next to me eating a ham sandwich. 👏
Good show
Making Sundays s'special
Bro it's ear day has me rolling 😂
Lmao!! The three stooges bit had me going!
Right in time because my 24hr ban due to cyber bullying was just lifted. S‘sensitive duuuuude! 😂
Just the words “cyber bullying” conjoined together is S’bitch bro🤣😂🤣We all know life rips but it alsoooooooo sucks major donkey balls😂😂😂
Why did they not say a potluck wedding is fucking weird and disgusting???
That algorithm hitting hard, dropped 38 seconds ago!
Chris, I really can't wait for your feedback on Duluth. It is such a weirdly perfect city that I'm sure you will either hate it, or be in love with it. It's a city stuck in time, operating the same way for decades but somehow remaining with the times.
Its ear day and it was one rep so stfu 😅 such a good spinmove!
In Spain you dont bring gifts to weddings, you pay money trying to equal the price of the meal. He didnt make that up guys.
57:51 so glad i watched the whole pod.
“Tortellini Anus” is the most I’ve laughed today.
Thanks boys!😂🙌🏼
Gotta use the denoiser, vocal isolation or noise gate so you can keep the air on 🤙🏻
I’m addicted to RUclips but have sketchy Wi-Fi/coverage in the forest where I live so the videos in my smart downloads I often go to in the night. After the latest refresh 2 of the 5 smart downloads are Chris D Elia podcasts. Even in these circumstances I’ m switching off under a minute in.
Yes!
Hey is this actually you or is this like.. someone else
@@kaydenstegman4439 It's me
I’ve been quick to call Matt a dick in the past. Credit were credit is due Matt ,this episode ,has been brilliant. Couldn’t agree more with the stand-up part.
Tortellini-Anus 😂😂😂 I can’t stop laughing lmao
Matt Delia’s migraine influenced joke names are unprecedented
Calvin, Billy and Clitface 😂😂
dooooo...message C5
48:39 this has gotta be the best s'deeper I've ever seen.
Alternate Title: "Fuck Cranes, Honestly"
You can tell Chris doesn’t like doing this pod anymore he’s totally phoning it in 😂
Philz coffee is so good
this potluck guy omg i cant
The ham sandwiches is the first sign of onset obesity 😂❤
You know this is gonna be a silly goose time based on the title
59:25 white lines - grand master flash sample lmao
On the subject of canker sores, I have like 13 right now from getting dentures (not from drugs don’t be dumb) AND so many sharp bone fragments poking through them from the teeth that were pulled. A mouth migraine…..that’s it. A mouth migraine.
Ham is the best, no lie
Yeah Chris come back to Montclair!Do another show at least,been awhile.Or a live Lifeline,would be great!
For the full-time mom, sounds like people are jealous of you and your family, to be saying things like that. A normal person wouldn’t care.
Resident of New London, Ontario here
matt looks like christian bale in 3:10 to yuma
The worst magician 😂😂😂
There's a Paris Ontario about 40 mins from London 😊
Tavern ham, honey baked ham 😮🎉🎉🎉
Tortellini 😂
Some people at the gym have no self awareness, they think they own the place
Everyone who says they like ham is actually lying. Facts
Frasier Crane😂
Where is the migraine located? Are you very sensitive to light and sound?
Who else texted Chris, like, hey where is the episode ??? We got the Schedule ...
"Jacuzzi Brown." A pro athlete somewhere.
matchers!!
Hey can someone find please an episode when Chris was talking about miss teen "such as, such as" I can't find it .
Is it lifeline or congrats?
Outdoor heat love it, indoor heat I'll chew through the wall
To the former teacher now SAHM as a former school nurse and very soon to be SAHM, fuck those people. You deserve better friends around you. Sending love. ❤
4:35 🤣
22:36 3 Stooges and the WWE lol
The former teacher...welcome to modern feminism. They're all PISSED that you're not miserable workng like them.
So true! I’m a SAHM and I’m soooo grateful. ❤
Glumlot is friggen awesome, i shazam songs he puts on and they must be ai also but thats what holds me also about his stuff
I was obsessed with the Three Stooges as a kid. As an adult I definitely like Abbott and Costello better.
Anyone know what sunglasses Matt is wearing?
Hating on ham (?!?!) is crazyyyy
Empty envelope is all he needs to bring as a gift 😂
I almost thought chris was gonna let that “53” comment slide by
52:43 So much heard what they said not
I stopped wasting my time and I break up with friends now. I'll give a small explanation why and tell them I wish them nothing but the best and then ghost them after that.
Matt has a rich guy laugh
Algo juice
49:33 cuz it’s hot and you guys get delirious 😂