this movie forever altered my brain chemistry. *the Perks of Being a Wallflower*
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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✧( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hey babe, this next one is a little sad, but this movie reminds me of your eyes. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧
hello hello lil cherubs! today's video is on my favorite movie of all time, the Perks of Being a Wallflower. this movie means just as much to me, if not more, than when it did when i first saw it at 13. anyway hug n kiss ur friends for me mwah mwah mwah kiss for u xoxo nikki nasty
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As the author of the book and the director of the movie, I can’t tell you how happy I am to have stumbled across your video. It was fantastic. Funny. Charming. Thank you for watching my movie and commenting on it. Thanks to everyone who commented here. You made my night.
If this is legit, this is crazy!!
Hello sir, i just watched the film and even though not even half an hour has past since i can feel myself changing i don’t know why, but im sure its for the better. Thank you sir
This is so so kind, thank you Steve for making this book and movie. So many of my friends and I’s favorite piece of media ever.♥️
thank you for writing the book, it got so many people through high school
Your book is my favorite book ever!!! I read it first when i was 12 and I've re-read it every year since. I just gave it to one of my friends because she has never read it but I hope she enjoys it as much as I do 😊😊
There's a philosopher (can't remeber which one) who had a theory that the moment u realize ur happy is the exact moment u start to lose happiness bc once ur conscious of a feeling and start taking active efforts to keep it you've set up a mental paradigm for urself that this good feeling can go away and u start looking for signs that it is going away which takes u out of the moment and thus the good feeling.
OMG YOU ARE SO RIGHT. THIS HAPPENED TO ME. I was in a bad place... but then I finally felt TRUE happiness until now. And Its weird because I feel bad and good at the same time.
Alan watts definitely had this theory
yikes, this is how i feel rn tho
Wow, tragically beautiful yet sad
This is Lecan’s theory of desire. It essentially states we don’t truly desire what we think we do, we desire desire itself. You probably heard Slavoj Žižek speaking of pecan though, as he speaks of desire on terms of happiness.
I was always so confused about the scene where Sam kisses Charlie as well until now. It seemed off and difficult to watch considering their difference in ages, the fact that she had a boyfriend, and the fact that there was no romantic intention behind it. However, now I understand that, as she said, the first person who kissed her also harmed her. So, by giving the kiss to Charlie, she did her best to ensure that he never had to feel the way she did during her first kiss. That the first person who kissed him loved him. She was trying to redeem her own story while also giving him what she would have wanted for herself.
oh my god this just made me scream and throw up
oh my-
Yes I had this exact same process. Used to think it was so fanfictiony and showy… and it hit me years later.
@@succulentworm9351 no bc same.
The age difference is gross, but another layer to what you said is also that she doesn’t know that he was also molested, so in reality she still couldn’t protect him
The panic attack scene is an incredibly effective piece of filmmaking. What’s even more impressive is the movie was written/directed by the author of the book.
I think that’s why the movie turned out so well and why I love both.
Exactly I was so happy he got to direct the movie for his own book even tho I hadn’t read the book I’m afraid it’ll ruin my love for this movie so I watch it over and over again instead haha
@@Itzezyyyy trust me, it will make you love it more
@@melindadarastean9225 idk, it seems to have mixed reviews on goodread and they say they hate the way he writes Charlie’s POV. At least he didn’t make him talk that way in the movie
@@Itzezyyyy hmm i can see that, you have to be in the right mindset for it. personally i didn't notice anything off about that...i say at least try it, you never know! i always take goodreads reviews with a pinch of salt.
The book has a quote that changed my point of view on mental illness and people with mental illness. [spoilers ahead] when charlie sister got slapped by her boyfriend she made charlie promise to not tell their parents, but in the book he did it anyway and charlie’s parents went and talked to the boyfriend. After that Charlie asks his father what will happen to the boyfriend and why did he do that (with the expectation that he had a trauma to explain why he did that) so the father says to Charlie “Not everybody has a sob story, and even if they had its not an excuse”
what a shame. they really should’ve left that in there. it’s so easy to excuse abusive behavior under the guise of trauma but in reality we all have trauma and a lot of us choose not to inflict that onto other people. i never heard this quote so thank you!
Charlie didn't tell his parents. He told his English teacher who then told his parents
@@crab2195i agree! i’d definitely recommend the book. the movie was great, but left a lot of context and details out that the book contained. def tw for sa & abuse in the book, one of my favorite reads but hard to digest at times.
god I wish I had a support system like charlie, I feel so alone, my parents caused me so much of my pain, and when I try and talk about it they just get even more distant. and I don't have any friends because I just got out of a long cycle of pushing away all healthy relationships because I was so scared of having to confront all the pain. i don't know if that makes sense, but I hate it, I know I could have healthy friendships, I just wish I could reach out more. I just want a friend who gets me
And the next scene when Charlie's sister say she hates him... That broke my heart
the best movie ever it makes me physically and mentally ill i scream cry and throw up every single time this movie has changed and shaped me as a person
This movie...was incredible, show stopping, never before seen or done, amazing, astronomical, brilliant, totally unique, talented, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, sh*t on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it *and I loved every second of it.*
@@notimportant1006 you are so real
Literally
@@notimportant1006 no but like fr
Tf😂😂 get therapy
All love to Ezra Miller and Emma Watson’s characters, they’re great, but also I can’t watch this without feeling they’re literally the pure embodiment of every tiktok about “getting a ride home from the theatre seniors” 💀
Lmfao accurate
LITERALLY👏👏👏
wait what does that mean
Their characters were created roughly two decades before TikTok even existed, and even the film versions were created 4 years before that
This movie created that archetype or at least popularized it
I watched this movie an ungodly amount of times. Before it came out my friend got a pre screening version of it so by the time our peers had gotten the chance to watch it, we’d consumed it at least like 20 times… She has since gone on to become a psychologist specialized in teenage trauma, I have gone on a journey to test out every single antidepressant under the sun - so you could say it hit us kinda hard.
That’s pretty amazing actually
I'll never forget going to see this. It was the first PG13 movie I saw in theaters and when Charlie takes the LSD someone's dad screamed "OH SHIT!" 💀
Omg I love that!! haha
imagining the "OH SHIT" over and over because that's the funniest shit i've heard in a while
LMFAOOO
when did he take lsd wtf
@@jamiec2844 23:14
The part about it being unrealistic how he goes out to things alone and how courageous that is, I would argue that’s why the movie/book begins where it does. Right when he decides to step out into the world. In regular coming of age stories about shy people, they just get hounded by a crazy group and are taken in. Charlie had to step out from the wall and say “I’m here… notice me”.
also not forgetting he doesn't want anyone to think he's "getting bad" again
Love this comment
one of my favorite things about this story. i think it's actually so realistic especially compared to those comic of age movies where a shy person is just adopted, because it really doesn't happen like that often. the fact that he had to put himself out there and find friends on his own really resonated with me as a shy person in school. i stopped hanging onto this fantasy of people becoming friends with me FOR me
I think his anxiety causes him to be out there because hes scared people will judge him for NOT being there instead of him being scraed to go out at all. He thinks people in the future will talk about he was so off putting because he was hardly out there and how he missed out on so much. He has anxiety of how people will think of him in the future instead of in the present
You know I physically laughed out loud at “I said I LOVE the smiths”
I'm glad someone else noticed that!! God tier reference 🙌🏻
@@willowfarmer6550 also the I love bulimia reference to her I love mental illness lol
SAME LMAOO
like so many others in the comments, i didn’t *fully* understand this movie when i first watched it at 13/14. it took me until about the 2nd or 3rd watch to even catch on to the abuse that Charlie received from Helen. now as an adult, i seriously appreciate how they were able to include something so traumatic, (plus his best friends suicide) without actually showing anything graphic. you almost miss it if you’re not paying close attention. it really focuses on the aftermath of the trauma and Charlie’s mental health as a result of these events. this movie feels very… human? it feels real and thats what makes it so impactful.
I'm surprised as to how many people say that they missed this until years later.
exactly!! i love that they were able to address serious problems without showing triggering scenes (like in 13 reasons why for example)
i’ve just watched this and i’m 13 i didn’t get the aunt helen thung till i asked my friend about it but jesus i feel like i’ve aged 5 years
that’s one of the reasons i’m so happy with this movie, so many shows now show those kind of things and in some cases it doesn’t even affect the story it’s just shock value which is DISGUSTING. the people who made this movie handled the topic w genuine care and it is way more effective than anything else they could’ve shown. i would honestly probably hate the movie if they actually showed sam or charlie’s abuse.
@@lucyohnosame omg. The only reason I caught on to what happened was because a week after seeing the movie, I watched a commentary video on yt and they mentioned it, but before that I was completely bewildered.
I wasn't ready to hear the "You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love." line again as a 24 year old married person. That shit has me reeling atm.
Same. Balance is so hard to achieve.
I was a child victim of molestation like Charlie was and I completely related to when he said, "There is so much pain, I don't know how to not notice it." I am 41 now and still feel the pain as I did then. It's an entire life sentence.
i know my words cant change what happened, but i am so so sorry. and i hope you're doing good, and all is well. best wishes
there's a part in the book that's like "even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have” when i read that my guilt ridden imposter syndrome dummy brain was like :00000 and it's still a quote i remind myself of to this day
Ugh this movie, I would do anything to rewatch this movie for the first time again. Nothing beats how I felt after watching this movie the first time🤧
Same here. I read the book prior to seeing the movie (in 11th grade) so I wasn't sure if I'd like the film, but it really moved me and I've probably seen it 20 times at this point. I never dealt with childhood abuse, but I have dealt with severe depression and anxiety like many people (and am on a SSRI..) so really related to Charlie..
Facts, I remember the exact moment I watched it!!!!! Life changing
@@yespls4184 I’m the opposite, even tho the author directed it I’m afraid to read the book lol wish I could’ve back in high school but I chose to watch this over again instead
Fr. This movie literally shaped me as a person. Like I physically screamed and threw up after watching it. The things I would do to have prevented myself from watching it though so I could have read the book first...still showstopping. Cried like 10 times in a row😵💫
"i don't want my parents knowing im getting bad again." every time charlie says that line it just strikes something within me. those were my exact thoughts growing up
Okay getting your first period on Halloween feels like some sort of witchy birthright.
That's kind of bad ass.
Imagine ur dressed as a vampire getting ur first period 💀
@@sporkzzz dude...what?🤣
@@stormbreaker9436 like so u know how vampires drink blood imagine drinking pretend blood and then you go to the bathroom and BOOM! There's blood on Ur pants 😭
I too got my first period on Halloween but I was a ladybug so I was safe
@@alaynamuiller2440 this comment make me choke
i think Charlie going to all the events alone is because if he didnt, his family would worry that he was staying home all the time and was "getting bad again" like he was doing it all for them.
also i really love your sweater
I have ADHD and autism so making friends was always extremely impossible for me. I remember my cousin gave me this book when I was starting grade 9th, the same as Charlie. I never felt so understood like I did the first time I read the book, I felt not alone. This will be forever my favorite book/movie because it was the first time I ever felt okay.
Omg same ! I find it easy to make friends but I can never keep them. I related alot with Charlie also I suffer from PTSD
oh my god, yes. charlie was such a comfort character for me, and still is really.
The way I relate to Charlie is unhealthy, I been re-reading the perks of being an wallflower and re-watching the film over and over and over. The first time I watched it and I remember it very clear. It was my sister’s 18th birthday, 12:30 at night, and before watching it, I thought it was going to be some cheesy stupid movie. It wasn’t. At the end of the movie, I felt..weird. I never related to a character so much, mind this but it was my first time watching this movie. I remember going to my bed after my sister pushed me too, and silently cried myself to sleep. I never knew what was relatable to Charlie, but I didn’t know I was very sad, and experienced something that I didn’t know yet. Years go by and I read the book, became my favorite book ever :)
Dang that's tough. I hope your happy now. Sometimes we feel like disappearing but in reality we just want to be found.
@@briareyberg5145 thank you, I’ve been trying but all I know is that I keep on feeling the same emotion, nothingness. But that’s for another day
I strongly disagree about the part that Charlie being able to go to social events was unrealistic for his character. Mostly because it is super relatable to my life. I've gone to so many social events and ended up being the wallflower in the corner of the room by myself just watching everything go on from the outside, no idea how to connect with people. The struggle isn't just getting yourself to go to social gatherings, it's trying to actually form connections with people once you're there.
Charlie has always been such an inspiring and relatable character to me, because despite his struggles with his mental health, and his struggles to find a place he can fit in, he still keeps trying and putting himself out there. He goes out and awkwardly tries to make connections with people, and it's so wonderful to see it pay off when people start noticing him and bringing him into their groups.
I'm socially anxious as fuck, and struggle a lot to form meaningful connections, but I will always seek out new social experiences and try to put myself out there because I know the only way to get over your social anxiety and to form real connections is to just get through it and try things out anyways. You put yourself out there enough, and you'll end up finding people that really see you and want you in their lives. I think Charlie knew that as well, which is why he will always be one of my favorite characters.
I completely agree with you, and it couldn't be more realistic!! I understand that some people's social anxiety experiences have been different from Charlie's, but at some point of my mental health problems, I became Charlie, and I fully understand the "I'm here, but I don't know what to do" vibe... And even if it wasn't realistic, I think it's a hella of an effort (plus encouragement, to every one) of Charlie to go out and try, 'cause that's the first step to "not get bad again" and know people: trying!❤
Now that I actually live with my friends, have a partner ect I don't do this but I used to go out constantly by myself. Just go to a movie, or sit in a bar, or walk around or go to parties. I started drinking because I couldn't form connections sober. But I did go out and do a whole lot of stuff despite my anxiety and trauma, hoping to make friends
i relate to this film, specifically charlie, on an unholy level, and i have to watch it every few months. the “i’m worried i might get bad again” really hits me. i will forever be grateful for this film
the first time I watched this movie I actually never understood it actually, it was only when I noted that Charlie always had mental issues (including from aunt helen's abuse) that I finally began to understand it.
truly set the stage for my terrible childhood, this movie
If I remember correctly from the books, Charlie was a year behind in school, and his birthday was around this time period, making him closer to 16. But it has been a long time since I read it, so I could be wrong. (No, I just looked it up, he was 15 and then turned 16, so not as big of an age gap between Sam and Charlie).
But that age gap is a regular high school age gap tbh 😊
I accidentally saw this in an empty theater by myself in high school (mom and siblings watched an animated movie, randomly chose this showing instead) and my teen hearttttttt 😭 this movie has a special place in my heart because of how I experienced it lol
The fact that I went through weeks in which the only thing that I would do on a day was watching this movie 3 times and my therapist still did not think that something was wrong really showcases my talent for finding the ✨worst possible✨ therapists/doctors in my area
I’m 27 yo male. I never had watched this movie until this year. I didn’t even know what it was about. This movie destroyed me but also healed me as well. This was the first time I’ve ever seen my story in a movie. I was assaulted for years by an older female relative. I felt the things Charlie felt. It was so beautiful to know that others could see me in this movie. Even if only I knew it.
i hope you're doing okay now
I love you and you are loved ❤️ you are an amazing person
I read the book while I was in the hospital. A friend lent it to me because I asked if it was any good, and she wanted me to read it for myself. I don't remember Charlie (in the book) mentioning that he had been inpatient before, so the end came as a big shock to me. I remember crying because Charlie was around the same age as me, and had been through so much, and had ended up in the hospital like me. I related to Charlie on so many levels.
I was released in October.
Thank you, Katie, for lending me that book. It really did alter my brain chemistry.
this movie is so deeply and painfully relatable on every single level and I love it. Somehow it hurts and comforts me at the same time
I feel that his anxiety can actually be the reason that he shows up solo to everything. I relate to Charlie, among others, so strongly, and I feel his anxiety matches his solo attendance.
This was filmed in the high school I went to. I watched it again a few days ago and it was such a weird experience to watch. I didn’t remember it being an emotional rollercoaster and on top of it I went through hell in that school. This movie means so much because it felt like I was watching what someone else went through there too. Made me feel less alone.
Ps #2: communion wafers are actually sold like candy in Mexico! They come in different bright colors, and sometimes they also get sold with dulce de leche (a kind of caramel) in between them!!
i always found it so gut-wrenching watching charlie take so much stuff one after another. "it'll be our little secret" is said twice in this movie, once from patrick, and once from charlie's aunt. i find it so interesting how willing charlie was to let patrick kiss him whenever he wanted because he "needed it." or how charlie was afraid to say no to mary elizabeth when she wanted to go further. sooo many little details and signs that all point back to his trauma.
14:40 tbh i've always related to charlie a lot and i'm VERY anxious, but i was kinda like that too. i would show up to parties where i barely knew anyone just to end up sitting on a corner all night because i really wanted to believe that i was capable of being like all the other kids and i though if i went to these events maybe i would bring myself to talking to new people since i was already there but i never did.
cause at the same time as charlie is really anxious and traumatized he's also very hopeful and idealistic in a way, which leads him to put himself out there without REALLY putting himself out there
i’m the same age but watched it when i was 14 on my iphone 4 haha, i made this whole film and the book my ENTIRE personality, like i genuinely don’t know who i would’ve been without it. it inspired me to become a film teacher, and i’m planning to do a masters, i had an english teacher like Charlie’s and if i could change someone’s life through teaching even for a second, it would mean the world, funny how life works
I’m sorry if this sounds weird but you talking about how you always ruin happy moments for yourself cos you can’t help but think “this is gonna be over and I’ll never be happy in this way again” made me feel so seen. Like it genuinely eased my anxiety cause I always thought I was alone in that. It’s like I can never let myself be happy because in those moments I’m actively mourning the memory. & I convince myself I’m the only person that has ever felt the things I feel all the time & that alone makes it so much worse. So even if you don’t see this I just want to say I sincerely appreciate it.
I love that we can see ourselves in movies and reveal parts of ourselves that we may have never explored before, it's such a beautiful part of being human. I too have my "Oh Maybe I Am Mentally Ill" movie, thank you for sharing yours with us Nicole because this movie is a masterpiece
this is my favorite book of all time and the movie is just as mentally damaging as well as comforting and i cry every time i watch it. i relate to charlie in so many ways (more than i’d like) and i love the 90s and the music in the film is perfect and as cliché and stereotypical the high school experience is depicted in this but i love that because it’s actually accurate and that’s just how coming of age movies are. this movie/book has become my whole life and i’m currently reading it for the fourth time. stephen chbosky is a genius. this video from nicole felt like a message from the universe or something aaaaaaaa sorry i just love it so much
"I'm getting bad again." honestly, the first time i watched that scene i cried, something so simple brought me to tears, but at the time i was falling back into that depressive state.
I remember in the second last year of highschool my english teacher was telling everyone in the class to go get this one book from the back of the classroom if they felt like reading something fun (it was some thriller I think) and after class I went to go get it and my english teacher who knew that I was quite a shy introverted person told me not to get that book and instead she gave me a copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and told me to read that instead. It was like she somehow knew that out of everyone in that class I needed to read that book, probably not a good thing that she saw that in me but it is still my favourite book.
oh boy I am NOT ready to watch this lmao this movie was the defining factor of my youth nicole
i’m upset they deleted the scenes of candace’s pregnancy/abortion. i felt like it added a lot to her character and her relationship with charlie.
this movie definitely developed me into another person and altered the trajectory of my life in a new way
Going from being Charlie to being Sam and now most recently Charlie's sister with my own sibling.. it's so fucking rough and this movie hurts in such raw ways but I remember at the time it came out I was 12 and had just started therapy. I was so scared to ever "get bad again" like Charlie but honestly I have so many times since then. I don't want to say anything gets easier or be cliché and toxic with "it gets better!" but you can get through things. Even if it feels impossible. You can do difficult things. You are strong even when you feel weak. You are worthy of love and deserving of happiness no matter how you feel or what your thoughts might tell you. There are people who love and care for you, so many you probably don't even know yet. That being said your feelings are valid, You are valid.
"We accept the love we think we deserve". Hey stranger, I don't know you but if you've been abused by your ponytail Derek, please know you deserve so much more.
What you just said about ruining happy moments because you know it’s gonna end and not creating 5 year plans is one of the most relatable thing ever
The first time I watched this movie was in 7th grade because it was $5 at target. I loved it, but I didn’t fully understand it as a 13 year old. Now almost 22, I appreciate this movie so much more, it’s crazy, way deeper than 13 year old me thought. Might have to watch it again soon
You might like Me and Earl and the Dying Girl if you like this movie
I’m 32 years old and I also saw this in theaters after reading the book SEVERAL times. I was SO worried this video was going to be like “oh this movie is just depression p0rn” but I’m SO GLAD I was wrong. I love this movie and I loved this video on it. Thank you for bringing it back to light and talking about how impactful this movie is.
@InboxmeonTel nice try scam loser. 😂 who uses telegram???
This video and your tumblr video coming out as if you've crawled inside my brain. This movie was ABSOLUTELY 100% of my personality from age 14-15. The summer before freshman year of high school I would listen to heroes every single day. Thank you for making this video.
i used to literally say to myself all the time ~ we accept the love we think we deserve. This eventually become a belief and honestly helped me out of a lot of shitty friendships, abusive relationships & eventually leaving my family home and never looked back. I recently watched this again a few months ago & couldn't watch t all the way through (the ending is very traumatising for me) but i will always love this film and what is represented in my life. a bit ~dramatic~ but without film & music i would still be alive, these types of things gave me an escape of the horrors and traumas of my old everyday
I'm 10 years older than Nikki, and watched this movie when it came out. It was so accurate to my teenage experience, the feelings and experiences of adolescence. The emotions are universal, and that is deeply comforting.
Yes! I was 19 and it still hit me deep. It resonates universally
First book that had a really big impact on me as a teen. Could really relate.
While I agree that "people accept the love they think they deserve," there's another, more tragic reality that's often glossed over.
We are slaves to intense emotions, be they negative or positive. People who are usually strongwilled and proud will crumble the moment the man/woman they love is involved, even if they're AWARE that they're being mistreated, exploited, degraded, abused, etc. Which is the scariest part imo. Being that clear minded yet not being able to let go.
In 2013 I cut out ‘one day our pictures will become old photographs’ all the letters individually, put them on my wall then printed out all my photos and put them underneath. And now I’m mentally ill
the bone chilling terror i felt from that truth or dare scene clip
This movie made my mom remember her repressed childhood memories which resulted in her first attempt at unaliving herself
This movie was also my awakening to being a teenager and its 'angst'. For some reason as a child, no one ever played music around me so I didn't ever listen to music until I watched this movie at the age of 12. Come on Eileen was the first ever song I remember listening to on my own and I was obsessed. Also, Charlie in the gold underwear was definitely a scene I remembered playing over and over again.
You didn't hear any music as a child? I mean I assume that at least in kindergarten there were songs about washing your hands and stuff but, what did you do once you had access to choose what music to listen to? Did you get a spotify account? I got my spotify account as a christmas present when I was 12, coincidentally. But I'd used youtube to watch 'Toxic' by Britney Spears over and over again before that
the "we accept the love we think we deserve" and "you can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love" line didn't initially make sense to me when I first watched the movie and read the book ages and ages ago but they really clicked for me as I matured - as I was constantly allowing terrible people into my life and accepting their disrespect out of fear of losing them but also just throwing away my own boundaries and giving away entire parts of myself to them willingly because at that point I thought that was me showing somebody true love.
I was, admittedly, late to the Perks of Being a Wallflower party, I had been told that I'd appreciate it all my life. I finally watched it this year when I got B0vid and was locked up in my room. I remember thinking to myself "oh god, my 13-year-old self would've loved this so unabashedly." and it got me thinking of how being young lets you enjoy things more without fear. Watching it at the ripe age of 24 puts things into perspective, I've been all of these characters in some way or another. Especially Charlie's sister, especially Sam, I've just BEEN THERE. I found that the movie gave me a heavy serving of second-hand embarrassment, it was hard to stomach, but the movie truly encapsulated the 14-year-old experience, just the horror of being young and TRYING.
I just watched this movie for the first time yesterday which is a crazy coincidence. As a freshman in college, I was able to find small things in most characters that I related too. Whenever I would ask friends or family if I should watch it, they always said it was too sad and to just pick another movie. I agree that it is a sad movie but it talks about so many important things that it needs to be watched. I have been in a depression funk recently and I think this movie helped me realize it. I can be sad and that is okay, and (this is gonna be cringey) but I am not alone. Others feel the same as me and through this movie, there is a community.
Well... I never saw this movie. I also never went to highschool. I'm also a blue collar construction worker man. Actually, I don't know why I even watch your videos. BUT. Your videos are excellent. 👍
u missed out
the fact that you did this video on my birthday, the day I got my first tattoo directly related to The Perks of Being A Wallflower is so amazing. it’s my favorite movie ever and it really had a deep strong impact on me as a person because it was the first time I saw myself on screen and in a book
I remember feeling physically ill, having nightmares, and not being able to sleep after watching this movie with my mom. But I also think I loved it after watching it???
I think you and I are very alike. This one, and 'Silver linings playbook'. Do you also have songs that you absolutely love and relate to but you cannot let yourself listen to them most of the time because it will give you that weird lingering feeling? That's how I felt both watching this movie, and later reading this book.
the way 12 yr old me fully believed my freshman yr was going to be like this…happened my sophomore yr when seniors took me under their wing
Trauma bonding is not when you bond with someone over shared trauma. It’s when you are emotionally bonded to someone who caused you the trauma. So many people use it the wrong way just wanted to be that guy and share the facts ❤ you Nicole
I watched this movie the year it came out on my laptop, I was 15 years old, and a couple months later I went on to read the book. That year was probably one of the worst years of my life, I flunked every class on purpose because I had decided to exit this world early- and when that didn’t go as planned, I was left picking up the pieces. Having a character like Charlie to relate to and find comfort in really got me through repeating the 10th grade, and though I never found my friend group and I never stopped being a “wallflower”, I finally started to feel like maybe I did matter.
I remember reading this book in middle school and felt really seen by Charlie. Till this day is the most relatable movie I've ever seen.
Charlie and Sam were actually only two years apart. It doesn't explain this in the movie, but in the book, Charlie was held back a year (I think in elementary school? this is when he spent time in mental institutions, after his aunt helen died). His birthday is earlier into the school year (December) and he turned 16. In the book he was driving and stuff. Sam had to be 17 or 18 at the time. By the end, Sam is probably 18 and Charlie is 16.
The scene that he kisses Emma Watson‘s character instead of his girlfriend, my dad fell out of the theater chair laughing. I thought he was going to hold me out of the theater because the context of this movie for some reason this movie help me process a lot of parallel things that were going on in my life and I sobbed for about two hours. I just couldn’t stop crying. I can’t bring myself to rewatch it. Yeah I am fond of this movie. I also know there’s parts of it that emotionally break me.
When you mentioned how the movie is more than Charlie, it made me think that you would really enjoy the book. The point really is that Charlie is always watching and noticing. Even family members who he doesn’t see he tells you stuff about and what they went through. All in all the movie and book are about one young boys experience with noticing pain. Everywhere.
I WAS LITERALLY JUST TALKING ANOUT THIS MOVIE AND YOU JUST UPLOADED THIS SECONDS AGO CRAZY
the perks of being a wallflower was a keystone of my trauma lol. my mom wanted me to play asleep by the smiths for my sister for christmas, so i just stared at the depressing lyrics of that song every time i practiced and was like, huh,, i wonder why my mom wants me to play this?
this is one of the movies that i watched before i could process it and now i’m a little scared of how bad it’ll fuck me up if i watch it with how much i’ve processed since then, sooo thank you for talking through it all so i can re-experience it safely✨
man oh man. i got the notification for this video and realized that i’ve never gotten around to watching this movie, so i bit the bullet and watched it before watching this. it……. was so good. and so gutting. and so relatable as a mentally ill, queer young woman 😭 i really wish you would’ve touched on the part where charlie blacked out in the cafeteria!! i feel like it was such a turning moment for him. tysm for making this video!! much love 🫂
It’s also so important that it portrays a male victim/ female perpetrator: while showing it still affects the male victim the same way as a female victim
I had the pleasure of reading this book for a high school assignment then watching the film. This movie always hits for me 😭
hearing her sing asleep like that at the beginning.. triggers me and i dont know why
As someone who has tried a plethora of SSRIs, SNRIs, and antipsychotics, I recently started TMS therapy. I highly recommend it to anyone who has treatment resistant depression and is sick of all of the side effects meds come with.
I’m not fully done with my treatment, so I am not sure what the final results are going to be, but I noticed I have started to audibly laugh at little things. I am not expecting for this to be a “cure all”, but it’s a start.
It didn’t work for me 😢
@@whalium889 I’m sorry to hear. I hope you are able to find something that works well for yourself and relieves your symptoms. Living with treatment resistant depression is one of the most difficult challenges, so the fact that you have and are trying to get better is an amazing feat! I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but I am so very proud of you.
I have less than two weeks left and if I don’t start showing more progress, then I am going to be starting IV ketamine treatments. Do you have any experience with this? If not, have you found anything that has helped?
@@catiebeans I tried ketamine too :’( 😢😢😢 I think I thought tms worked because I was in group therapy during that time so group therapy helped temporarily
I went to the premiere when it first came out at a small private movie theatre and the author Stephen chbosky and Emma Watson came out to do a little thank you speech and I had no clue they were going to make a little appearance, It was pretty cool
He’s an awesome guy. I met him and his wife (also an author) at a book signing and he spoke to me for literally 30 minutes after everyone had left.
@@traciek3179 What did you two talk about? it looks like he commented on this video, by the way, so that checks out
@@lupakajsalisa3652 my book actually. That I had been trying to get published for years. Still haven’t. He asked to read it.
wow my first period was on halloween too... when i was 9. Happy Periodversary!
i've seen this movie so many times (its one of my favs) but watching your vid on perks and talking about trauma/ptsd has just made me literally have a full on break down realizing that i might have ptsd bc of experiencing something similar to charlie as a kid. like i never really understood why i felt like this was a comfort movie or why i loved charlie's character so much but now i'm really realizing it's bc i never felt like i could claim or speak about (or even think about) what happened to me or the trauma i've been dealing with subconsciously and consciously since i was a kid, so ig being able to see what charlie goes through and the love he's surrounded by it just... whew. i think i've got some healing to do lol.
Nicole's thoughts about the movie caught me off-guard, too, despite being aware that when I watched the movie as a tween, and later read the book as a teen, I was filled with this strong pain and dazed feeling. I may think I'm aware of all the big events in my life that lead me to experience (what must be) ptsd, but I've realised before things/periods of time that I've forgotten that I definitely should have remembered. I didn't experience what you did, and I hope I'm not making anything worse by telling my own experience. All I know is I hope that you're able to be in a safe place, with understanding people, when you start feeling those buried feelings, so that you don't have to be scared anymore.
i just rewatched this movie earlier today and then you make this, what a satisfying coincidence.
this movie shatters my soul into so many pieces, i especially relate to Charlie due to also being assaulted by a close family member. god this movie is amazing
i can never get through that movie with out crying my eye sockets dry, it will forever be one of my favorites
i literally just watched this movie (not for the first time) yesterday. you’re reading my mind
WAS JUST ABOUT TO COMMENT THIS
it’s such a good movie 😫
I LITERLY COMMENTED THIS. I WATCHED IT LAST NIGHT. only because I realized it's on hulu now. Lol
i remember watching this at 8 and not really understanding it at all, my abuela who was watching it with me had to tell me what charlie's aunt meant by "this will be our little secret" and suddenly everything clicked. im 20 now and im obsessed with the emotions that are felt during this movie and how viscerally the movie is able to portray a ptsd breakdown. not everything in those moments may make sense to onlookers but on the inside everything you feel is cascading on you all at once and snagging onto you completely
i watched this movie at least once a week after i was allowed to watch it💀. i love your content auntie nicole
Charlie being an anxious outcast but still showing up to things alone is so me actually. ITS REALISTIC!!!!!!!!
30:17 is painfully relevant and i didn't expect such a serious moment of self reflection for myself while watching this. thank you so much nicole
bit unrelated but nicole feels like the older sister i never had 😭🙏💞‼️
this video meant a lot, thank you so much for making it!
It made my cold day in Kazakhstan a hole lot warmer 🥰
this movie is soo soo gut wrenching for me that I feel there should be like a trigger warning for it that doesn't even say its name, like the mere mention of it just sends me into full on spiral
this might legit be the first time ever i comment on someone's video but stumbling upon this, listening to you being so honest & vulnerable, and reading the comments just made me feel so much less alone, thanks.
I remember not understanding what his aunt did to him when I watched for the first time as a kid
and then I read the book
one of my favorites to watch whenever I'm going through a sad phase
Patrick was my favorite!
I love this video but I'm mad she didn't mention the quote "We are infinite". This line specifically made something in my head click. And I knew exactly what he meant. I know it doesn't seem like a big Important part of the movie but it truly is. We see Charlie kind of sit and realize I feel alive and not alone. It shows him think, "Im here, with my friends, and we're alive and we'll live forever. We are infinite."
This book and movie was hard to watch. It supposed to be. It told me I'm not alone and it will be ok. Every start of my high school years I read this book to remind myself its alright. And tomorrow I get to put "We are Infinite" on my graduation cap. Im graduating alive and well at the hands of Steven chobosky. Thank you.
Love always,
Jupiter
what originally drew me to watch this video was the fact that it was about my favorite movie. this is genuinely my favorite movie. mostly because i thought it was really well written, and really well delivered. i really did like the relationship/friendship between charlie and sam. and the letters were very telling. further, i’m a pretty big fan of paul rudd. it is a wonderful movie. it didn’t become my favorite movie the first time watching it, but by the third time i was able to recognize things i hadn’t before and further analyze it, as well as grow a deeper appreciation for it. as you already spoke on, i don’t necessarily have personal connections with what these characters have experienced and the trauma they’ve gone through, but more as a whole. i’ve never really suffered with any severe mental problems, especially none that have sustained throughout my life; however i did/do have friends who have experienced trauma or deprecating experiences and have been there through times where it’s been harder for them. being a supportive outside party, i guess his family is who i would relate to best. and again, this movie as a whole really has a grasp on me. i cant sit there and watch it 8 times over (like i have with the first home alone) but i definitely feel it’s deserved the spot of being favorite movie because of how much i enjoy it and appreciate how everything was portrayed and pieced together. overall, i enjoyed your video and commentary and would like to see more of this content. i personally didn’t disagree with anything said and fully respect any slight criticism given. thank you for touching on this and giving this movie the recognition it deserves. big props
also “come on eileen” is a great song which this movie did in fact introduce me to and i do occasionally go back and listen to it
just to add, sometime in the near future the quote “i feel infinite” that charlie said in the tunnel, will be tattooed on my body because i love it that much
i only found your channel last month, but as someone with a complex mental health history i really relate to the things you talk about and it's given me a lot of hope that things can get better for me. this video (and ur channel in general) is really helping me process finding out i have ocd
NICOLE! pls forever make these movie commentaries they are my favorite things u were made for this
I just rewatched this movie this morning after not seeing since I was like 13!! Also the “where is Micheal tonight?” sound did make it on to tiktok and ppl are using to trauma dump… so you are spot on
When I first read the book I was so confused that I gave up reading it. Two years later I decided to give a chance and loved it! the punching scene in the book gave me such a physical rush. I watched the movie after finishing the book and it’s amazing I always go back to the book and movie.