I'm in my 60s now, and I never heard of narcissism until I was 50 years old despite being victimized by narc family my whole life. The one thing I have learned is to NOT stick around. Things will not improve. It has been so ingrained in us to not be a quitter. BUT QUIT! Quit that relationship, quit that job, quit that family. I am a quitter and my biggest regret is I never quit earlier or more often.
Omg. Same here. I’m 65 and not until my current relationship had I heard of narcissism or gaslighting. I was loved bombed as well. Given expensive gifts, support in my work. Then came the “what about me?” My partner is not a liar but I did find myself starting to question myself.
Married 36 yrs,, today he went there with an very inappropriate comment, and I was silent. He kept staring at me for a reaction. You don't get one. He got mad and hasn't talked to me all day. Used to care. Don't care. Luckily I have friends and volunteering that don't undermine my self esteem for some controlling reason they need. 59 year old is mentality of a 3 year old. Not impressed. Now going for self care and boundaries, and I am glad I have friends I can turn to for sanity. He was all I had when we first moved away from my family, and in hindsight he knew that vulnerability and exploited it. If you are able to recognize earlier than I did, definitely self-care and know you have options. At this point in our lives with a paid off house, near retirement, not leaving, but not putting up with this B.S. when I can anymore, his reaction not a consideration anymore at the expense of my self esteem.
This video was very settling for me. It brings peace to my spirit to listen to professionals on these types of topics. It’s validating. I learned that there is no need to share this with the gaslighter because they will not change just like you said. They had me convinced that if I could just explain it well enough to them that they would do better. They had me convince it wasn’t deliberate. This person hasn’t sought therapy. They just want to steal my time focus and energy teaching them when I should be focused on healing FrOM them
34 years of a narcissistic husband. I am literally hanging on by a thread. Multiple health problems and I hope I didn’t wait too long to get out. I need help. Does anyone know a group or a therapist in Dallas who specializes in NPD.
Subtle can also to cross boundaries and standards or forgetting how to do something or where something goes over several years and apologizes for it and does it again so you don’t feel heard or respected over time or years their reactions get more and more unstable and out of control and dominating so that they cower their victims and get the satisfaction of dominating many little things and not really sorry about it’s just a slow devaluation and disrespect about little things until you yourself give up on your own standards and adopt their attitude and their internal landscape of self esteem
Dang I felt this. Not feeling heard cuts soooooo deep and they say “well maybe you should explain it better” after you damn near written a book, sharing informative resources like RUclips and reputable websites, making a power points, delivering a sermon, making flash cards posters neon flashing lights. And then they call you a bad teacher. 😑 I can’t stand these people especially the ones that stalk and imitate good people so they can fool everyone else. Death by 1000 cut is the most foul thing to experience. I’d rather get stabbed once and run than not notice I’m bleeding out until after they’ve weaked their prey.
In most cases, yes. Once in a while, good boundaries can wake the gaslighter up and they seek help and learn to improve communication and relationships. However, in many cases, leaving the relationship is the best choice.
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I'm in my 60s now, and I never heard of narcissism until I was 50 years old despite being victimized by narc family my whole life. The one thing I have learned is to NOT stick around. Things will not improve. It has been so ingrained in us to not be a quitter. BUT QUIT! Quit that relationship, quit that job, quit that family. I am a quitter and my biggest regret is I never quit earlier or more often.
Omg. Same here. I’m 65 and not until my current relationship had I heard of narcissism or gaslighting. I was loved bombed as well.
Given expensive gifts, support in my work. Then came the “what about me?” My partner is not a liar but I did find myself starting to question myself.
And I had to let go of three friends bc of her disapproval of them showing her she meant more to me than they did. One was a friend of 28 years.
Married 36 yrs,, today he went there with an very inappropriate comment, and I was silent. He kept staring at me for a reaction. You don't get one. He got mad and hasn't talked to me all day. Used to care. Don't care. Luckily I have friends and volunteering that don't undermine my self esteem for some controlling reason they need. 59 year old is mentality of a 3 year old. Not impressed. Now going for self care and boundaries, and I am glad I have friends I can turn to for sanity. He was all I had when we first moved away from my family, and in hindsight he knew that vulnerability and exploited it. If you are able to recognize earlier than I did, definitely self-care and know you have options. At this point in our lives with a paid off house, near retirement, not leaving, but not putting up with this B.S. when I can anymore, his reaction not a consideration anymore at the expense of my self esteem.
This video was very settling for me. It brings peace to my spirit to listen to professionals on these types of topics. It’s validating. I learned that there is no need to share this with the gaslighter because they will not change just like you said. They had me convinced that if I could just explain it well enough to them that they would do better. They had me convince it wasn’t deliberate. This person hasn’t sought therapy. They just want to steal my time focus and energy teaching them when I should be focused on healing FrOM them
Extremely valuable video, thank you for conveying this so clearly and directly
34 years of a narcissistic husband. I am literally hanging on by a thread. Multiple health problems and I hope I didn’t wait too long to get out. I need help. Does anyone know a group or a therapist in Dallas who specializes in NPD.
Excellent video. Truth✅
Excellent info
Pure evil
Subtle can also to cross boundaries and standards or forgetting how to do something or where something goes over several years and apologizes for it and does it again so you don’t feel heard or respected over time or years their reactions get more and more unstable and out of control and dominating so that they cower their victims and get the satisfaction of dominating many little things and not really sorry about it’s just a slow devaluation and disrespect about little things until you yourself give up on your own standards and adopt their attitude and their internal landscape of self esteem
Dang I felt this. Not feeling heard cuts soooooo deep and they say “well maybe you should explain it better” after you damn near written a book, sharing informative resources like RUclips and reputable websites, making a power points, delivering a sermon, making flash cards posters neon flashing lights. And then they call you a bad teacher. 😑 I can’t stand these people especially the ones that stalk and imitate good people so they can fool everyone else.
Death by 1000 cut is the most foul thing to experience. I’d rather get stabbed once and run than not notice I’m bleeding out until after they’ve weaked their prey.
Sad but true. The only way Is out.
In most cases, yes. Once in a while, good boundaries can wake the gaslighter up and they seek help and learn to improve communication and relationships. However, in many cases, leaving the relationship is the best choice.