Moving Through Generational Trauma Part 1
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- Опубликовано: 18 апр 2023
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Our Guest’s Father was considered the more affectionate parent, however, he was both physically and emotionally abusive towards our Guest, their brother and their mother. Listen to Part 1 of this two part episode to hear about the childhood trauma our Guest endured, and the steps they are taking to move through the abuse; and work through its generational impact.
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Narcissists are everywhere and these days it seems like everyone has at least one in their lives! Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. Every Thursday, we will hear first-hand accounts from people who know this territory the best, the survivors.
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Holy crap. I saw a former friend and roommate verbally rage out at her daughter, then turn and casually say something to the older daughter in a normal tone, then return to raging at the younger girl. She framed it as discipline, but it made me wildly uncomfortable. I have never heard this expressed so clearly by another person. This is so helpful.
My wife does that to the kids but not sure how to help her.
She grew up where that was normal and tells me it's my Spanish culture.
The jekyll-hyde switch was something I watched in both parents. With my mum, I clued in really early she acted as the good mum in front of other people. My father's act took me longer to see because his control was a bit arbitrary with different people. It took decades to realise I felt more safety with strangers than alone with my parents.
Hearing her talk about her father
Just in the first 10 min
I immediately identify and relate
Sounds a lot like my dad it’s scary
My Dad would be super charming around everyone else and a nightmare at home I never understood his behavior but I was fully aware of how he would change depending on who was around
Very much never knew how he was gonna be walking through the door, it was like walking on eggshells or waiting for a hidden bomb to go off
That’s my mom, right down to the doors off hinges and broken glass
That was my whole family. At 38 years old I finally said: enough! and cut all contact.
Thanks for giving me a heads up on the content of the video, because I was going to listen to this at work, and being so relatable I prefer to listen to it at home.
My husbands dad was unrecognizable when socializing with coworker friends. He would laugh, smile and joke around. When it was just family? He would sit in silence with this quiet seething rage and even took his plate at dinner and went downstairs to watch tv. When my husband questioned it, he was shamed for not going too. I was sick around these people. Fast forward we finally went go contact after I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I saw some pictures of him online "having a good time" with other grandkids. It didnt even look like him, total jekyll and hyde it was creepy.
Two alcoholic narissistic parents and a narissistic husband and an alcoholic father-in-law. I relate to EVERYTHING your guest went through.
Listening to this story is making my heart drop. The reason being is because this story is my story as well every piece of it is taking me back, I had a narcissistic mother and step father as well. It's not easy being in this environment and as a result of it I developed PTSD, Anxiety, and depression. Thank god I have been in the therapy and support group for this. Thank you for putting this story out there and helping others like me heal and become aware of narcissism. You're doing a noble work and I take my hat off to you.
The Jekyll and Hyde thing is so confusing, especially for a kid. t is a recipe for mental illness, Support!
This is my story. Its so hard. Thank you for sharing. Sending healing love and light. We are survivors. ❤
Thank you so much for this interview it's so recognizing for me I grow up in my childhood in narcistisch family. I am 63 years old now ended up with chronical PTSD and burnout I newer married I don't have children. My father have narcistisch trade's my mother have borderline and narcistisch trade,s. After many years of therapy I still have chronological depression. And use trazodon anti depression. I know my parent are not the blame it's going to one from generation to a other generation I know my grandpa was a agressief person my grandma an anebler. With three children one was my mother they have beaten almost to death. Chaos drama and violence domestic. Incest ect ect
You don't find stories like mine that a re short of a child actually dying. It's so omnipresent in my life that I'm always overwhelmed. I used to not be able to control how things came out of my mouth. I could be perfectly happy and screaming at the top of my lungs. Been told to be quiet my whole life. I couldn't! I was almost 30 before I was able to kinda be aware of how loud I was then I lost my hearing and now I have had to relearn that all over again. Lord help me...
I just realized my mom is this, like yesterday, because I was narcissistically abused at work, and mom's shit was so exposed by her lack of support . I love her, everyone loves her, and this is hell. I can't talk to her right now, bc she's so vicious at being called out. I've been duped for 51 years, thinking she's my rock, but she's likely been knocking me down so I'll need her . To believe my mental illness, addiction and so many struggles meant nothing to her, while she inflicted her shit on me. And how much was due to her shit? She's an extreme do-gooder, therefore nothing can be said badly about her. Ty for letting me share. I'm very alone in this.
My mom would always tell me that " Dad's just having a bad day. " The thing is, he gaff a LOT of bad days.
I can definitely relate to the Jekyll/Hyde thing. I had that with my mother although I think she was more on the BPD spectrum. I found it so interesting to hear from the anonymous guest that when she finally met her paternal grandfather he told her his son (her father) had been an a$$ since he was born. My aunt, who is 4.5 years older than my mother, has told me my mother had been the way she was for as long as she could remember. Too much attention was never enough. It validates my thoughts about my mother just being born with a certain temperament as all her siblings seem so different from her. Thanks for this talk. I learned something from it.
You end up lying to prevent abuse but then if they find out you lied? Even worse.
They take whatever you say and run with it for YEARS. You cannot slip up and you cannot show them any good in your life until you’re not a distance. Because if you’re doing better, have more money, a better relationship, whatever.. they’re not happy.
Or you develop people pleasing as a trauma response which leads to a lot of secretive, avoidant behavior and lying.
Wowser, totally relate, it really helps to hear others who have had to live through very similar traumatic childhoods experiences.
Each day is a learning curb for me and consciously living in the moment really helps me. Great interview, thank you 🙏
Anonymous thank you for sharing ❤
❤
This guest sounds like that tennis player ….
Sounds like alot of make believe.
sounds like you relate in a way that threatens you somehow!
I grew up in dysfunction.
I wish I could have a doctor help explain why I still struggle.
Moving on but still feel held back.🫣