Want to learn more about the phrases to shut down narcissists? Come join me on my free webinar, the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets to Communicating with Narcissists right here www.rebeccazung.com/live
Your words were like water in the desert- “They didn’t attach themselves to because you have no value. They attached themselves to you because you do. You are the strong one.” Thank you, thank you, Rebecca
I have plenty of VALUE AND VALUES I KNOW THERE'S SOME VALUES A NARCISSISTIC WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY. IM GOING TO WIN AND YES KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
I dont mean to be off topic but does any of you know a trick to log back into an Instagram account..? I stupidly lost the account password. I love any help you can offer me!
Meanwhile I’m begging for help and drowning. What sucks is my 16 year old is here. She doesn’t deserve this. The VA won’t help. We are poop squished between their toes….
@@romyec 4sure: Not always possible @ times to go no contact when children are involved. 4Me: I'm going total black out, as I will soon be in total black (off social Media + Name Change + Disappear from his knowledge) out from Mr.x, however I'm not superglued/in bondage to them with children.
The best shut down I did was telling the other supply about each other! They went ballistic and the narcissist lost ALL of his supply! Best shut down ever! 😎
Narcissists are terrified about being exposed as the fraud they deep down know they are. They’ll try to discredit you by spreading negative rumors about you. But if you have a reputation of being honorable with no reason to lie, people will believe you and the narcissist hates that.
I'm contemplating doing this...not to seek revenge but to do what's right... because I know I was lied to and lead on...lead to believe we were gonna try and be a family/together...(we have 2 daughters)....then I got ghosted and alienated...try and talk about the whole thing and she refuses and gaslights... deflect the truth.....I'm thinking to myself "I know if she didnt mean what she said, then she couldn't have possibly been honest with the other dude"...... she has a good thing now and doesn't want me like that anymore...oh but u sure wanted it a few months when she came over and all this lovely pillow talk...I know she loves me because I've felt it but I'm not about to be lead on just because she was scared and couldn't/wouldn't talk to me...and does this other dude know when u came?...I highly doubt it....if you want to try and be together and be a family, i feel u have to atleast TRY and stand by your word...not just say you did while talking to somebody else... I cant let her live a lie while I'm feeling sad and depressed because I believed her....like in told her...im telling the truth to EVERYBODY...whether she does it or not...dont know what to do😢😭🤷🏾♂️😡
Phrases: 1. "No!" (Taking back control) 2. "I hear you" (soften them) 3. "I trust you/that" (appeal to them) 4. "*nothing*" (don't fully them) 5. "Everything is ok" (toddler talk) 6. Just cut them off You are welcome
My best shut down was when my Narc called, and was trying to hoover me, saying that he wanted to remember “just the good times... we had so many good times”. I answered, “But if we forget the bad times, we don’t learn anything, do we?” !!!CLICK!!!!
It took me 50 years to call out my narcissist (my mom), and we attempted to set boundaries. Nothing worked. Now, I love her from a distance, and acknowledge that she really affected me in the most negative ways possible. I felt completely unlovable, unlikable, and not worthy of being accepted. I no longer seek her approval.
My dear. She did love you in her own twisted way but you need to realize this, and it will change your heart. She is a victim of generational curses and she raised you based on how she was raised. She never had the mental or emotional capacity to learn different. When you realize where it came from, that it isn't really them, you can set them free with love. It was love. It was just expressed in all the wrong ways. My mother was highly gifted in many ways. She was extremely talented, educated, successful, funny, artistic, charitable, very encouraging to my individuality and independence, and kind beyond measure but....I could never say no to her for her wishes or needs. She always demanded I put her first. She was often prone to fits of rage with me and my father. My father and I were close and I remember him saying to me, I don't know what's wrong with her. The truth I discovered some 50 yrs later is that she had an alcoholic father and a very abusive brother. She was a kind caring person, a nurture, like her mother, who was 1 in 16 children by the same mother. My mother came from a long line of good women but growing up, she was always defending herself against her father and brother, and she built walls. The key is forgiveness, for you, and for them, for not knowing what you know now. They were victims of lack of love, neglect, and verbal and physical abuse.... but somehow, they survived it, and you were born out of that will to survive. You are everything they wanted to be. Remember that.
@@ladydragonrider421 if I can go through my life, always striving to never treat my children as she did me. Her toxicity is so bad that my youngest son (her only biological grandchild) is now in his mid 30’s has gone no contact because she tormented the hell out of his beautiful, warm, loving wife while she was experiencing a difficult time carrying their child. No. I don’t accept that people can’t break the cycle. I did. I never did the things to him or treated him the way she did me. Yeas, she did have a rough childhood, but chose alcohol and men over my older brother, to the point where she gave up custody to her older sister. She never wanted me…I’ve only found this out in the last 10 years or so. When she figured the only way to get my dad to commit was having me, she did. Three years later, I was living with my great aunts and my great uncle above the bar he owned. Never saw her much. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is she damaged me in ways no physical beating ever could,knew what she was doing and didn’t care. I’ve given her too much time inthis post. Much more than she deserves. So, like I said, “love her from a distance, but no contact.” It’s worked well for me and I can’t give a rats ass who doesn’t like it or has a Cumbaya moment. I have great relationships with all 3 of my boys and their families, because I made a conscious choice to not be like her.
@@Angela_GenX Thats 100% right Angela. Your rejection is your protection. You dont need a resolution, reconciliation, or revenge. Karma is 100% guaranteed. You are what you create. What you give , you get. I experienced both - from my x. Severe psychological abuse, and verbal and physical abuse and I agree. Im tough. Im a vet. I can fight back. Its the never ending mind games and mental attacks to injure your self esteem and ego. My x's mother was a horror show even he couldnt stand - and there lies the root of all his suffering. But I can clearly see youve made your way back to you. You are beautiful. But realize the root of the hate is jealousy and envy. They want to be you, but dont have a clue how. They will always despise you simply because they want to be you, and they dont see any value in empathy. To them, empathy is a sign of weakness. My dear - this is why I laugh like a crazy person - falling down laughing at anyone who is emotionally unregulated an angry. They are literally to dumb to see the hate they feel is actually for themselves. So Sad. Brain damaged- to the point I now find it hysterical. As a matter of fact, I have laughed so hard at so many people over the past few years, I ended up busting my belly button and had to have umbilical hernia surgery! Thats how hard I laugh at them! I created some notebooks on Amazon. One of them says, the Root of all Evil is the Giving of Fucks. I have several others as well LOL www.amazon.com/Veronica-K-Roser/e/B09LZ7PTSK/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1 You can also find me at ladydragonrider.com Your boys are always going to be so proud of you, and nothing else matters.
I've learned, in the last 6 years, that I'm an empath. I'm VERY strongly sensitive to other people's emotions/feelings. Growing up, there was no such thing; just bleeding heart hippies, like my parents. My childhood was very painful emotionally because I didn't know what was happening. I was extremely sensitive and an easy target for my siblings to pick on, beat up, and manipulate with pin point emotional accuracy. I was traumatized. Thanks to you, I'm finally getting back to my old positive, optimistic, and bubbly self when I was a kid. Thank you kindly Rebecca. I can't thank you enough!!! I practically feel like I have stepped back on my True Life/Soul Path/Purpose, and it feels so good!! I can feel joy and happiness again!!😇🌞 Thank you again and God Bless you. I have so much love, respect, and gratitude for you and your generosity that I must get it all out so that you get tons of positive energy directed at you!!! ♫♪💜🦄👏👍💃👣❤😘😎 Sincerely, Gabrielle 💋😇👸
I adore you. When you said "flying monkeys," I died. It perfectly describes exactly how I feel being enmeshed in a community that the narcissist in my life has brain washed. Thank you so much. I feel heard, and not crazy, for the first time.
Ann Harrison Yes me too, but I was so over the abuse by then that it didn’t worry me when I copped it for saying whatever. I just looked at it as a small victory.
And when saying No, saying nothing, going crazy, and blowing smoke up his rear stoped working I would act like I was listening and start giggling and then bust out laughing. It was like throwing ice water in his face. He did not know how to handle it. I left several months ago and I am soooo happy now. So smile! And laugh!!
Rebecca Zung The videos helped more than you know! They saved my life. Thank you!! He is taking me back to Court which is no big surprise. Using the Court to continue the harassment! My attorney gets it though. I know that he will probably never go away, but at least I now have a sane way to deal with it. Thank you for all that you do!!
That's how I became at the end of my marriage. It used to intimidate me when veins started popping out of his forehead and he'd literally foam at the mouth, but at the end I couldn't contain my laughter no matter how hard I tried. He looked like a cartoon character with smoke coming out of his ears. Lol
Saying nothing does drive them crazy. They don't know how to handle it but never seems to keep them from shutting up completely. They always seem to have something nasty to say.
In 2003 I gave ultimatum to wife, counseling or divorce. We divorced in 2005. On the day we signed papers I asked her again to choose. She signed them saying "this is what you want". Afterwards she waited outside lawyers office and insisted on coming with me to get our children... in my vehicle. The entire ride she cried and professed her love. It was bewildering but didn't work. As the years went by she tried to make every post-marriage problem into my problem. I had a very different idea of what narcissism is. Glad I came across your videos. Your providing insight and closure to me.
Yeah. I had ten attorneys both civil and criminal in my divorce from an extreme malignant narcissist sociopath of 33 yrs and the escalation of saying no, trying to hold them accountable, trying to get anything, my attorneys dragging out the fight almost got me killed. My life ended up in grave danger so much that my woman judge made me run. This is the only thing you can ever do especially when their on drugs. There was nothing that came out in my favor. Everything was stolen or destroyed and it was me that finally said enough, I will not end up dead, take it all and burn in hell.
Had a narcissistic son-in-law (now estranged) - physical and mental abuser (not with me around but I was out of the country often). It makes me want to give new meaning to "gaslighting". My daughter would call telling me and her mom "leave the house because he's coming over" in which I would reply - "no - let him come" (we live in a castle-doctrine state). He never came. After 11 years of marriage he finally left but not after leaving a path of destruction on everybody. We'll see what happens when he returns for the final court date as he's thumbed his nose at everybody, everything (including the courts). He claimed to be a Ranger - claimed to have won the Bronze Star and Air Medal - all false which is why he resigned after a 15-6 investigation was conducted (either resign or be court-martialed) and from various sources, this was only the tip of the iceberg. I'm 70 years-old - had a good career as a pilot for 45 years with the last 23 as an expat contractor. Last year I went out and got my Private Investigation License, Armed Security License, and FAR 107 Drone Certification - you can easily do the same and I would encourage everybody dealing with these types of people to educate yourselves. If somebody lacks the will or confidence to deal with the narcissist in their lives, reach out to somebody as you'll be surprised how many will stand with you against these physical & emotional parasites. Who knows if they'll ever come out of it - the one who had been in our lives is 2,400 miles away bragging and sponging off of another family - it's their pattern and a cycle of life to them. All the best, Ma'am - wishing you peace, comfort, healing, and happiness for you certainly deserve it!
@@robertmack8467 I'm writing a novel. The story of us is very unique. I've studied psychology and tarot for 4 yrs to understand why I, and the rest of the world doesn't see. I stayed too long, so the ego death he experienced when I left, the court could see, would end up with my murder if I didn't escape. I told God, if it was his wish for me to give up everything I ever owned and worked for in exchange for my life and freedom, I was OK with that. My x is not a vet. I am. Was raised by a marine. I can live in a ditch with nothing and that's exactly what happened. 3 yrs later, he's 30 mins away and won't talk to me. He's dying. Broke. Deeper into drinking and drugs. Angry. Blames his fate on me leaving. Very dangerous. But his karma is coming round to meet him. I used to pray for him, but now, I only all God to have mercy on him because he's a victim of generational hate. I often describe mental illness as 2 sides of a coin. Neither can see or be the other side. One is born and raised in love, the other in hate, neglect, and abuse. The only way you can see the other side is by a reflection in a mirror. But, when the dark side, who's attracted to the light sees your reflection, they have no core self or core ego, and they exist only to imitate what they can't be. They mirror you, until you and everyone is gone and the only reflection they have left is their own, so the destruction becomes self mutilation. At this point, they're both suicidal and homicidal. One of my attorneys warned me during the divorce and said 75% of divorces in long term relationships, when divorcing a covert malignant narcissist that's a borderline or bipolar, which is the definition now of a true psychopath, 75% of all women that are murdered in divorcing them, it happens after, sometimes long after the divorce. Especially if they don't stop stalking... The truth is, they don't get better, they get worse, and they never accept any accountability for their actions. I've been in hiding for 5 yrs. I'm not scared because I know angels are watching over me, my father. My x stole everything that belonged to my father who passed away 20 us ago, including his guns and his military funeral flags. I don't have to ask you what you think the karma is for that. But that, that was nothing in comparison to the rest of what he did. It was very hurtful, but moreover just sad, to see the mental destruction they succumb to. They cannot change. It's not possible. All you can do is learn how to interact with them and how not too. The key is this. No reaction. Zero. Look thru them like they're invisible. They are energy vampires and can't survive without other people's emotions. Rage and hate or love and empathy is the same thing. It's validation they exist.
@@robertmack8467 doing what you do now, I'd love to talk to you. Not for myself, but to help educate you in everything I've learned about the total destruction of society that's reflected in the gratification of narcissim via social media and dating sites. I am trying to compose a short book about what's happening as no one else is seeing. It is cataclysmic and totally destructive to the very fiber of all cultures globally, and it goes back to knowledge I learned about the internet in 1985. We are living in a time unlike any other that's ever occurred in human history and the only way to comprehend the full nature of it is to study psychology with the best you can find. I've studied hard. 4 to 6 hrs a day for the past 4 yrs. Right on RUclips with the best in the world, Dr Ramani and Sam Vaknin, are the top 2 I recommend. To wrap me up lol, find me at Ladydragonrider.com and please read my about me page. I just created this website. It's a test.
@@robertmack8467 please know this. When a baby is not loved, rejected, neglected, or abused, the crying a baby does injects floods of cortisol into a very delicate soft malable brain. It changes the brain itself and stunts the growth in key areas and also inhibits the ability of neurons to fire pleasure chemicals correctly. These babies are victims of generational curses, of how their parents were raised before them. Alcoholics and alcoholism is key to know about as all narcissists are alcoholics. (The inverse is not true however, not all alcoholics are narcs.) As the brain is damaged, not only can the person not learn correctly or at all, but their are symptoms that look like autism, and we are now seeing many fall into this classification than what we've ever seen before. They cannot learn or change because they suffer from life long chronic ptsd. Vaknin has had some good results with life long cold therapy, but they have to want it and for most it's not affordable or available. Most will succumb to addiction and crime or prison, and most will succumb to addiction and suicide. This is why the suicide and homocide rates are escalating. The courts don't even want to lock them up. They want them to just go die on their own because there is no help for them. Locking them up makes them worse, even more vindictive and dangerous. The majority cannot reform. Locking my x up or holding him accountable would have gotten me killed for sure. My woman judge was very smart. She knew if I let him win and just walked away, give him everything, that alone was the one thing that would destroy him. She knew I could learn, heal, go on.... but after all he'd done, after he signed a contract with Satan, there was no redemption for him. He was as Judas was to Jesus and nothing can change that. I've been warned repeatedly no matter what I lost, to not accept any contact or communication as the only thing in his mind he failed to do was kill me. He will try to come back to reconcile, with everything of mine held hostage. But I already told him to take it all and have a happy life lol.
I wish that I had known this about 12 years ago, before my 1st divorce with an extreme narcissistic misogynist; it was horrible!!!😣 And your advice works on them at lightening speed when I project strong confidence and don't back down!! When I can see our coversations now, I can totally understand HOW people have been stealing my energy, my whole life!!👏❤Thank you for all eternity!! Knowledge is POWER!!!🦄 YOU are and will continue to positively impact and change millions of lives around the world in millions of ways!!! Great job and God Bless you and your family and friends. Amen. Sincerely, Gabrielle 💋😇👸
“Part of quantum law” ... there’s a powerful phrase that speaks volumes, wonderful insight, thank you Rebecca, you are doing incredible work and your audience really appreciates all of your phenomenal efforts!
So love your channel. Say nothing all the time and he disappears. Sometimes he will get more mad but I keep my mouth shut and he has been hiding downstairs. Love it.
The one narc at work simply couldn't handle it when I told him, in a calm tone, "You're entitled to your own reality. I'm not engaging in unnecessary dialogue", and I physically move away. Calmly. He literally was speechless every time.
Rebecca can you please do a video for the therapist to understand what the victim goes through. I have heard that there are many therapists who don't quite understand or believe. I have just filled out paperwork to get counseling, I am in a really BAD place, no one wants to hear anything against my narc, I told them with tears pouring, "I just want somebody to believe me", and I'm getting physically ill. You are a jewel Rebecca.
As i am watching your video, now i fully understand my situation, i was so devastated, i felt helpless, i blame myself, but now i am slowly enlighten, thnks to your video
I figured it out at the end of my marriage, but trying to figure it out with my 20yr old son is a completely different story. I can't handle my child, regardless of his age, quite the same way I did his dad. I was also only 23 when I left his dad, 39 now, but still...
I would love to have “no contact” permanently but I need time to rebuild me. I have been with this guy for years and it is all about him. I earned the money ever since he decided he was too important to work. He has completely worn me down. I don’t cook, clean or have anyone over. He makes sure I don’t keep friends. I am now going no contact in the house as much as I can. Boy, does that unnerve and diminish him. It is nice to know it is working for others. I dream of a permanent no contact. Soon.
I have been dealing with a covert narcissistic for over 26 years. Fed up. But the financial need has been a problem. Not letting me separate. I am so exhausted and almost suicidal because there is no way out except to keep fighting it. I can't work disabled. And I support 2 people my son who is disabled. On one disability check. This man has gotten violent on me that boundary, I drilled into him he will never touch me again. He has been mercilessly torturing me for a very long time. Now I am shutting him down emotionally. He hates it. Thankfully there is a universal door I walking through as early this month. The hand of God has shown me I will have my exit soon. Thank God. I feel really bad for people who are like me. I hope God offers them the same.
I'm so glad I found you 😃!!! I am on the right track because I do many of these! And they WORK! Unfortunately, I am married to the narcissist. I just figured him out and now it's time to get out!
Six months ago my daughter told me she didn't want to know me, so I went "NO CONTACT"!!!and she had to write to me, something she had never had to do before. Then she contacted me by text (the only connection she had for emergencies) to ask how I was with 2nd wave Covid. I was fine with that, but had problems with my own health problems, and had a visit to hospital for an operation.. It hurt,not seeing her, and it must have hurt her too. So I do a modified it, by "Fluffing", which I'd never heard of before.
My mom is a covert narcissist. I've always felt so crazy and abused but it's so low key our extended family always thought she was so sweet. She accuses everyone else of being a narcissist and calls herself an empath. But she's so manipulative and us fantastic at double speaking and the guilt trip. I love her, it's all beyond confusing.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME, I MOVED OUT 2 YEARS AGO. UNBELIEVABLY, THEY NEW GIRL I WAS SEEING HAPPENED TO BE ANOTHER COVERT NARCISSIST..BECAUSE OF HER I NOW KNOW EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM, I READ THE ENTIRE DSM 4..WOW.. THANKS AGAIN.
My "adult" sons are in the toddler stage in that what is mine is theirs, what is theirs is theirs - basically every single thing you said. Mind blowing. I never dreamed my sons would treat me this way. Incredible stress & drama. Thanks,
Rebecca your a beautiful ❤️ and wonderful human being you are helping all PPL suffering from narcissistic abuse to stay brave and strong and live a better life God bless you 🌹
Ms. Zung - only wish I could have had access to your videos in 2010/2011 and beyond. I replied to a young lady below as my daughter was married to one. After a 45-year flying career of which the last 23 were as an expat contractor, I went out last year and got my PI license, armed security certification, FAR 107 drone (sUAS) certification and, several times each week I will do some Process Serving. My favorites to surveil and eventually serve are the narcissists who think they're getting away with their sins but after getting caught they always play the victim. With Tennessee being a 1-party State, each one is on a covert video to protect me from the lies, deceit, and deception often found in this type of work. For your viewers please research the laws in your state and use them to your advantage. May all of you find the peace and comfort you deserve - God bless!
What about when the narcissist is your son? He was actually diagnosed w/ Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) when he was around 10/11, but he's definitely a narcissist...at 20. I love my son w/ my whole heart, I can't just kick him out of our lives like I did my ex-husband, his father, when my son was only 3 & my daughter, 2. Parents can't just give up on their kids. At least I can't, I don't have it in me. Thankfully they don't remember his abusive behaviors, & I refused to say anything bad about their dad until they were older. I hated telling them at all, but I had to tell them the truth eventually...especially after my daughter, 12 at the time, accidentally read a text her dad wrote telling me my kids hate me & I should just hang myself, as if his words affected me anymore 10 yrs later, they hardly affected me when we were married 🙄 THAT drove him crazy. My oldest spent his childhood extremely attached to me, but blaming & resenting me for his dad not being there at the same time. It festered & now, _everything_ is my fault. He clearly has many of the same psychological issues as his father; even though he hasn't been in his life much, they have almost identical personalities (minus the major drug abuse issues & my son isn't physically abusive like his dad, either...verbally is another story). I feel like I've tried everything, & while I can tell my son is desperately trying to get control of himself, especially his anger, & is much better in a lot of ways, it's just not enough. I don't know how much longer I can try to help him through this. Not when I also take care of my 74 yr old dad, the nicest man in the world (despite my obvious bias, it's true! Lol) & my super sweet & sensitive 11yr old son. They don't deserve the stress, they're innocent in all of this. I'm at my wit's end...I love him so much, but my younger son doesn't need to see & be influenced by his outbursts & after living through it w/ my oldest kids' father too, I feel like I've spent my entire adult life (started dating their dad at 17) being abused and/or manipulated in some way...first his dad, & now to an extent, my own son. Thank God I have wonderful parents & an amazing childhood; between them & God, the foundation they gave me is virtually indestructible. However, at some point enough is enough. I'm strong, but I'm not invincible. Without Jesus & my incredible parents..& holding it together the best I can for my kids' sake, I'd be a complete disaster by now. Other than praying, I'm at a total loss of what I'm supposed to do.
Rebecca I need to divorce people who aren't my husband. I have been walking on eggshells for most of my life. I'm eating sleeping and breathing your videos for about 10 days. I'm not even sure what day it is. Even my jeans are falling off. I have all the textbook symptoms of being raised by both parties who literally made sure we were seen and not heard, probably not even seen that much. I certainly bare the shame and quilt that was really not mine. I just have to shut down,
Boy, you sound like me. I finally, at the age of 69, have gone no contact with a sister who is a covert malignant narc. She has cancer and everyone is running to her, including me. Finally, I stepped back and asked myself, “What am I getting out of this”. She just wanted to put me down. Others, flying monkeys, have come to me, in the past, when I stopped being her supply and convinced me that I was her sister and don’t do that. Coming from an unstable home, I thought they must be right. They weren’t. You are going in the right direction ...one foot at a time. Oh, by-the-way, I have not missed my sister at all....not one second.
Thank you so much for teaching me how to beat narcissists!!! I'm on my 2nd narcissistic husband(26 years!!!😨😜, but things are finally getting better!! (Yay!!) I'm so much stronger now than he is!!! I've been able to stand my ground and it scares him so much that it angers and confuses him because noone else has ever been able to turn the tables on him!!!🕴💃👍👏👣❤(Happy Dance!!😜😘) Where have you been for my whole life!?!?😨🤔🤕😘 Thanks again, and God Bless you. 💋👸
Oh yes ma'am let's shut them down...it's toxic ,I have always been bullied for being nice and people keep taking advantage try putting me the space of scape goat ....not any more !!! Thanks to people like you and one more Dr.Ramani ...you people are doing amazing work by being helpful to people who needs clarity in handling these type of pseudo alpha showcasing people..who enjoys by humiliating others!!! Good bless and keep rocking 👍
You don't need a word or a phrase. Simply turn around and walk out. It's not easy and women are taught to respond. Don't. Walk away and breathe. Run if you have to, scream, whatever, bless you but run the f* away.
My mother was a narcissist. Now that's she's dead my family dynamic is getting better however before that I had to do exactly that- distance from everyone that was in contact with her and cut her off
These ppl are ZEROS. My husband is one. It's sad. He is so full of lies. He looks to be liked by his coworkers. He has no friends. He is awful, he is very jealous of me. He have his flying monkeys flowing through my town. But it's okay, I have gotten used to it. They look like a bunch of 🤡🤡 to me. Glad to see your channel.
Thank goodness! Iam not nuts! Thank you Rebecca you taught me so much how to deal with these peoples! I am not alone my lord and you , I feel better to shut them down ! Like you say ! No contact! I start to do it and they call me ! I say oh I been so busy ,; It works! Thank you Maria😥😑😬
Thank you for this video and ALL your videos. This one in particular has been invaluable in one dealing I dreaded. You're inspiring. Please keep up these videos, I can see I'm not the only one who finds them useful!
I've tried all of them, so it's getting close to being no contact cause I had to tell the person do not share your opinion when it is a derogatory comment towards a group of people who are not bothering anyone. I've tried the trust thing, only to have it broken, and agreeing with this one makes it worse, along with saying I hear you as this encourages the droning on about how she is the victim or the hardest worker.
It’s a short term Shit down and he immediately addressed it with we have to separate. After 6 years together and he’s almost died 5 times. I’ve saved his life. No one comes to see him in the hospital. Just me. The minute I’m not well, my girl and I get kicked out. He was very quick to drop that bomb. Edit never mind I need to be planning way way ahead and he’s got me by the proverbial balls. There is such a thing as being too nice.
It is true, they aren't used to it. I had a horrible narc flatmate and we agreed not to speak to each other but one day she knocked on my door and I accidently opened it and I said 'Sorry, I don't want to speak to you' and shut the door. She was pxxxxd off, oh I am so rude. Bear in mind she screamed on me at our first meeting lol I don't need to people please horrible people and I don't even if have to speak to her if I don't want to. It gave me a lot of power, as she couldn't manipulate me and had to look at a closed door. I knew I was leaving anyway and there was no need to speak to her anyway. Please today that we have packed our bags and we moved to a lovely, quiet and normal place. #southwestlondon
If you try to shut up a narcissist, you will put yourself in danger, some of them are violent or will ruin your life if you try to win an argument with them, moving away is the one and only way to deal with them.
I refuse to be yelled at! I am tired of all the drama. I won’t trust a delusional liar.! I’m grateful I moved out several months. Now the divorce will happen. He’s done nothing
Thank you Rebecca! I have been saying no to at least one form of a narcissist seemingly daily. The flying monkeys are everywhere in southern Oregon even at the credit Union. We may have to close our account and move our business to a more professional financial institution so we can be treated with respect.
Want to learn more about the phrases to shut down narcissists? Come join me on my free webinar, the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets to Communicating with Narcissists right here www.rebeccazung.com/live
I will be there live to answer all your questions. Can’t wait to see you there!
Your words were like water in the desert- “They didn’t attach themselves to because you have no value. They attached themselves to you because you do. You are the strong one.” Thank you, thank you, Rebecca
❤️❤️
I have plenty of VALUE AND VALUES I KNOW THERE'S SOME VALUES A NARCISSISTIC WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY. IM GOING TO WIN AND YES KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
I dont mean to be off topic but does any of you know a trick to log back into an Instagram account..?
I stupidly lost the account password. I love any help you can offer me!
5:30
Meanwhile I’m begging for help and drowning. What sucks is my 16 year old is here. She doesn’t deserve this. The VA won’t help. We are poop squished between their toes….
Shut them down-no contact that equals heaven on earth💜
@@RebeccaZungEsq 4sure: Shut them down!! I second that!!
It isn't always possible.
@@romyec 4sure: Not always possible @ times to go no contact when children are involved. 4Me: I'm going total black out, as I will soon be in total black (off social Media + Name Change + Disappear from his knowledge) out from Mr.x, however I'm not superglued/in bondage to them with children.
The best shut down I did was telling the other supply about each other! They went ballistic and the narcissist lost ALL of his supply! Best shut down ever! 😎
Great job 💥Thats a slippery slope fur sure...Change all your passwords these crzy narc women can blame the messenger 🗣👹
@@lovewhitey2027 the other women thanked me profusely and never want to let him abuse anyone ever again! The ladies joined forces to squash him!
Narcissists are terrified about being exposed as the fraud they deep down know they are. They’ll try to discredit you by spreading negative rumors about you. But if you have a reputation of being honorable with no reason to lie, people will believe you and the narcissist hates that.
Can you give an example. Sounds very interesting.
I'm contemplating doing this...not to seek revenge but to do what's right... because I know I was lied to and lead on...lead to believe we were gonna try and be a family/together...(we have 2 daughters)....then I got ghosted and alienated...try and talk about the whole thing and she refuses and gaslights... deflect the truth.....I'm thinking to myself "I know if she didnt mean what she said, then she couldn't have possibly been honest with the other dude"...... she has a good thing now and doesn't want me like that anymore...oh but u sure wanted it a few months when she came over and all this lovely pillow talk...I know she loves me because I've felt it but I'm not about to be lead on just because she was scared and couldn't/wouldn't talk to me...and does this other dude know when u came?...I highly doubt it....if you want to try and be together and be a family, i feel u have to atleast TRY and stand by your word...not just say you did while talking to somebody else... I cant let her live a lie while I'm feeling sad and depressed because I believed her....like in told her...im telling the truth to EVERYBODY...whether she does it or not...dont know what to do😢😭🤷🏾♂️😡
Phrases:
1. "No!" (Taking back control)
2. "I hear you" (soften them)
3. "I trust you/that" (appeal to them)
4. "*nothing*" (don't fully them)
5. "Everything is ok" (toddler talk)
6. Just cut them off
You are welcome
I still want to watch the entire video.
My best shut down was when my Narc called, and was trying to hoover me, saying that he wanted to remember “just the good times... we had so many good times”. I answered, “But if we forget the bad times, we don’t learn anything, do we?”
!!!CLICK!!!!
Wow, that is a brilliant comeback!
@@annemorgan2928
Thx.... I think he got the message. Feel free to use it! ❤️
👏👏👏❤❤
@@baser9080
Call the law…. And what is your husband doing about this? He needs to step up to the plate.
It took me 50 years to call out my narcissist (my mom), and we attempted to set boundaries. Nothing worked. Now, I love her from a distance, and acknowledge that she really affected me in the most negative ways possible. I felt completely unlovable, unlikable, and not worthy of being accepted. I no longer seek her approval.
My dear. She did love you in her own twisted way but you need to realize this, and it will change your heart. She is a victim of generational curses and she raised you based on how she was raised. She never had the mental or emotional capacity to learn different. When you realize where it came from, that it isn't really them, you can set them free with love. It was love. It was just expressed in all the wrong ways.
My mother was highly gifted in many ways. She was extremely talented, educated, successful, funny, artistic, charitable, very encouraging to my individuality and independence, and kind beyond measure but....I could never say no to her for her wishes or needs. She always demanded I put her first. She was often prone to fits of rage with me and my father. My father and I were close and I remember him saying to me, I don't know what's wrong with her.
The truth I discovered some 50 yrs later is that she had an alcoholic father and a very abusive brother. She was a kind caring person, a nurture, like her mother, who was 1 in 16 children by the same mother. My mother came from a long line of good women but growing up, she was always defending herself against her father and brother, and she built walls.
The key is forgiveness, for you, and for them, for not knowing what you know now. They were victims of lack of love, neglect, and verbal and physical abuse.... but somehow, they survived it, and you were born out of that will to survive. You are everything they wanted to be. Remember that.
@@ladydragonrider421 if I can go through my life, always striving to never treat my children as she did me. Her toxicity is so bad that my youngest son (her only biological grandchild) is now in his mid 30’s has gone no contact because she tormented the hell out of his beautiful, warm, loving wife while she was experiencing a difficult time carrying their child.
No. I don’t accept that people can’t break the cycle. I did. I never did the things to him or treated him the way she did me.
Yeas, she did have a rough childhood, but chose alcohol and men over my older brother, to the point where she gave up custody to her older sister. She never wanted me…I’ve only found this out in the last 10 years or so. When she figured the only way to get my dad to commit was having me, she did. Three years later, I was living with my great aunts and my great uncle above the bar he owned. Never saw her much. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is she damaged me in ways no physical beating ever could,knew what she was doing and didn’t care.
I’ve given her too much time inthis post. Much more than she deserves. So, like I said, “love her from a distance, but no contact.” It’s worked well for me and I can’t give a rats ass who doesn’t like it or has a Cumbaya moment.
I have great relationships with all 3 of my boys and their families, because I made a conscious choice to not be like her.
@@Angela_GenX Thats 100% right Angela. Your rejection is your protection. You dont need a resolution, reconciliation, or revenge. Karma is 100% guaranteed. You are what you create. What you give , you get.
I experienced both - from my x. Severe psychological abuse, and verbal and physical abuse and I agree. Im tough. Im a vet. I can fight back. Its the never ending mind games and mental attacks to injure your self esteem and ego. My x's mother was a horror show even he couldnt stand - and there lies the root of all his suffering.
But I can clearly see youve made your way back to you. You are beautiful.
But realize the root of the hate is jealousy and envy. They want to be you, but dont have a clue how. They will always despise you simply because they want to be you, and they dont see any value in empathy. To them, empathy is a sign of weakness.
My dear - this is why I laugh like a crazy person - falling down laughing at anyone who is emotionally unregulated an angry. They are literally to dumb to see the hate they feel is actually for themselves. So Sad. Brain damaged- to the point I now find it hysterical. As a matter of fact, I have laughed so hard at so many people over the past few years, I ended up busting my belly button and had to have umbilical hernia surgery! Thats how hard I laugh at them!
I created some notebooks on Amazon. One of them says, the Root of all Evil is the Giving of Fucks. I have several others as well LOL
www.amazon.com/Veronica-K-Roser/e/B09LZ7PTSK/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1
You can also find me at ladydragonrider.com
Your boys are always going to be so proud of you, and nothing else matters.
I've learned, in the last 6 years, that I'm an empath.
I'm VERY strongly sensitive to other people's emotions/feelings. Growing up, there was no such thing; just bleeding heart hippies, like my parents. My childhood was very painful emotionally because I didn't know what was happening. I was extremely sensitive and an easy target for my siblings to pick on, beat up, and manipulate with pin point emotional accuracy. I was traumatized.
Thanks to you, I'm finally getting back to my old positive, optimistic, and bubbly self when I was a kid.
Thank you kindly Rebecca.
I can't thank you enough!!!
I practically feel like I have stepped back on my True Life/Soul Path/Purpose, and it feels so good!! I can feel joy and happiness again!!😇🌞
Thank you again and God Bless you. I have so much love, respect, and gratitude for you and your generosity that I must get it all out so that you get tons of positive energy directed at you!!!
♫♪💜🦄👏👍💃👣❤😘😎
Sincerely,
Gabrielle
💋😇👸
@Myra Harts Thank you kindly. God only gives you what you can handle. Be strong.👍👏😘❤💋👸
Same story. Slowly and surely turning the ship.
I adore you. When you said "flying monkeys," I died. It perfectly describes exactly how I feel being enmeshed in a community that the narcissist in my life has brain washed. Thank you so much. I feel heard, and not crazy, for the first time.
It actually comes from the Wizard of Oz. The whole movie is about narcissism.
The best word is “Whatever”. That really stirs them up🤣🤣🤣
I tried that, and I got Narcissistic rage.!
Ann Harrison Yes me too, but I was so over the abuse by then that it didn’t worry me when I copped it for saying whatever. I just looked at it as a small victory.
@@kvooo765 😂😂
Whatever works for me too
True
The only way to deal with a narcissistic overblown balloon is to starve them of oxygen and watch them whine away into oblivion
Awesome take👍
Haha I wish they would just go into the oblivion
"They collect people.". How absolutely disgusting! Thank you so much for educating us ❤️
The Bible says
“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him.
@Joey Alexis why should one do so?
Truth
@NotADuck know What you are saying. I wish satan comes for you.
What book and verse is this in?
Karma, is what you create, and what comes back to you, exactly.
Just staring like you are watching a movie, no response , totally disarms them 👍💕
And when saying No, saying nothing, going crazy, and blowing smoke up his rear stoped working I would act like I was listening and start giggling and then bust out laughing. It was like throwing ice water in his face. He did not know how to handle it. I left several months ago and I am soooo happy now. So smile! And laugh!!
Rebecca Zung The videos helped more than you know! They saved my life. Thank you!! He is taking me back to Court which is no big surprise. Using the Court to continue the harassment! My attorney gets it though. I know that he will probably never go away, but at least I now have a sane way to deal with it. Thank you for all that you do!!
Ha ha ha ! I shoulda thrown a bucket of my shit on theie faces !
That's how I became at the end of my marriage. It used to intimidate me when veins started popping out of his forehead and he'd literally foam at the mouth, but at the end I couldn't contain my laughter no matter how hard I tried. He looked like a cartoon character with smoke coming out of his ears. Lol
@@angiew2324 I feel this so much’
I completely shut my ex down with “No!” He hasn’t tried to contact me since. It works!
Saying nothing does drive them crazy. They don't know how to handle it but never seems to keep them from shutting up completely. They always seem to have something nasty to say.
It's almost like someone put a hundred dollar bill in them and forgot to get their change.
It’s funny seeing them come back with something else, but getting the same response
In 2003 I gave ultimatum to wife, counseling or divorce. We divorced in 2005. On the day we signed papers I asked her again to choose. She signed them saying "this is what you want". Afterwards she waited outside lawyers office and insisted on coming with me to get our children... in my vehicle. The entire ride she cried and professed her love. It was bewildering but didn't work. As the years went by she tried to make every post-marriage problem into my problem. I had a very different idea of what narcissism is. Glad I came across your videos. Your providing insight and closure to me.
Yeah. I had ten attorneys both civil and criminal in my divorce from an extreme malignant narcissist sociopath of 33 yrs and the escalation of saying no, trying to hold them accountable, trying to get anything, my attorneys dragging out the fight almost got me killed. My life ended up in grave danger so much that my woman judge made me run. This is the only thing you can ever do especially when their on drugs. There was nothing that came out in my favor. Everything was stolen or destroyed and it was me that finally said enough, I will not end up dead, take it all and burn in hell.
What guts you have. I pray I can muster up the courage to divorce. You give me hope.
Had a narcissistic son-in-law (now estranged) - physical and mental abuser (not with me around but I was out of the country often). It makes me want to give new meaning to "gaslighting". My daughter would call telling me and her mom "leave the house because he's coming over" in which I would reply - "no - let him come" (we live in a castle-doctrine state). He never came. After 11 years of marriage he finally left but not after leaving a path of destruction on everybody. We'll see what happens when he returns for the final court date as he's thumbed his nose at everybody, everything (including the courts). He claimed to be a Ranger - claimed to have won the Bronze Star and Air Medal - all false which is why he resigned after a 15-6 investigation was conducted (either resign or be court-martialed) and from various sources, this was only the tip of the iceberg. I'm 70 years-old - had a good career as a pilot for 45 years with the last 23 as an expat contractor. Last year I went out and got my Private Investigation License, Armed Security License, and FAR 107 Drone Certification - you can easily do the same and I would encourage everybody dealing with these types of people to educate yourselves. If somebody lacks the will or confidence to deal with the narcissist in their lives, reach out to somebody as you'll be surprised how many will stand with you against these physical & emotional parasites. Who knows if they'll ever come out of it - the one who had been in our lives is 2,400 miles away bragging and sponging off of another family - it's their pattern and a cycle of life to them. All the best, Ma'am - wishing you peace, comfort, healing, and happiness for you certainly deserve it!
@@robertmack8467 I'm writing a novel. The story of us is very unique. I've studied psychology and tarot for 4 yrs to understand why I, and the rest of the world doesn't see. I stayed too long, so the ego death he experienced when I left, the court could see, would end up with my murder if I didn't escape. I told God, if it was his wish for me to give up everything I ever owned and worked for in exchange for my life and freedom, I was OK with that. My x is not a vet. I am. Was raised by a marine. I can live in a ditch with nothing and that's exactly what happened. 3 yrs later, he's 30 mins away and won't talk to me. He's dying. Broke. Deeper into drinking and drugs. Angry. Blames his fate on me leaving. Very dangerous. But his karma is coming round to meet him. I used to pray for him, but now, I only all God to have mercy on him because he's a victim of generational hate.
I often describe mental illness as 2 sides of a coin. Neither can see or be the other side. One is born and raised in love, the other in hate, neglect, and abuse. The only way you can see the other side is by a reflection in a mirror. But, when the dark side, who's attracted to the light sees your reflection, they have no core self or core ego, and they exist only to imitate what they can't be. They mirror you, until you and everyone is gone and the only reflection they have left is their own, so the destruction becomes self mutilation. At this point, they're both suicidal and homicidal.
One of my attorneys warned me during the divorce and said 75% of divorces in long term relationships, when divorcing a covert malignant narcissist that's a borderline or bipolar, which is the definition now of a true psychopath, 75% of all women that are murdered in divorcing them, it happens after, sometimes long after the divorce. Especially if they don't stop stalking...
The truth is, they don't get better, they get worse, and they never accept any accountability for their actions. I've been in hiding for 5 yrs. I'm not scared because I know angels are watching over me, my father. My x stole everything that belonged to my father who passed away 20 us ago, including his guns and his military funeral flags. I don't have to ask you what you think the karma is for that. But that, that was nothing in comparison to the rest of what he did.
It was very hurtful, but moreover just sad, to see the mental destruction they succumb to. They cannot change. It's not possible. All you can do is learn how to interact with them and how not too.
The key is this. No reaction. Zero. Look thru them like they're invisible. They are energy vampires and can't survive without other people's emotions. Rage and hate or love and empathy is the same thing. It's validation they exist.
@@robertmack8467 doing what you do now, I'd love to talk to you. Not for myself, but to help educate you in everything I've learned about the total destruction of society that's reflected in the gratification of narcissim via social media and dating sites. I am trying to compose a short book about what's happening as no one else is seeing. It is cataclysmic and totally destructive to the very fiber of all cultures globally, and it goes back to knowledge I learned about the internet in 1985. We are living in a time unlike any other that's ever occurred in human history and the only way to comprehend the full nature of it is to study psychology with the best you can find.
I've studied hard. 4 to 6 hrs a day for the past 4 yrs. Right on RUclips with the best in the world, Dr Ramani and Sam Vaknin, are the top 2 I recommend.
To wrap me up lol, find me at Ladydragonrider.com and please read my about me page. I just created this website. It's a test.
@@robertmack8467 please know this. When a baby is not loved, rejected, neglected, or abused, the crying a baby does injects floods of cortisol into a very delicate soft malable brain. It changes the brain itself and stunts the growth in key areas and also inhibits the ability of neurons to fire pleasure chemicals correctly. These babies are victims of generational curses, of how their parents were raised before them. Alcoholics and alcoholism is key to know about as all narcissists are alcoholics. (The inverse is not true however, not all alcoholics are narcs.)
As the brain is damaged, not only can the person not learn correctly or at all, but their are symptoms that look like autism, and we are now seeing many fall into this classification than what we've ever seen before. They cannot learn or change because they suffer from life long chronic ptsd.
Vaknin has had some good results with life long cold therapy, but they have to want it and for most it's not affordable or available. Most will succumb to addiction and crime or prison, and most will succumb to addiction and suicide. This is why the suicide and homocide rates are escalating. The courts don't even want to lock them up. They want them to just go die on their own because there is no help for them. Locking them up makes them worse, even more vindictive and dangerous. The majority cannot reform. Locking my x up or holding him accountable would have gotten me killed for sure.
My woman judge was very smart. She knew if I let him win and just walked away, give him everything, that alone was the one thing that would destroy him. She knew I could learn, heal, go on.... but after all he'd done, after he signed a contract with Satan, there was no redemption for him. He was as Judas was to Jesus and nothing can change that.
I've been warned repeatedly no matter what I lost, to not accept any contact or communication as the only thing in his mind he failed to do was kill me. He will try to come back to reconcile, with everything of mine held hostage. But I already told him to take it all and have a happy life lol.
I wish that I had known this about 12 years ago, before my 1st divorce with an extreme narcissistic misogynist; it was horrible!!!😣
And your advice works on them at lightening speed when I project strong confidence and don't back down!! When I can see our coversations now, I can totally understand HOW people have been stealing my energy, my whole life!!👏❤Thank you for all eternity!!
Knowledge is POWER!!!🦄
YOU are and will continue to positively impact and change millions of lives around the world in millions of ways!!!
Great job and God Bless you and your family and friends.
Amen.
Sincerely,
Gabrielle
💋😇👸
Agree with them, they want an argument , if you dont argue with them they are arguing with themselves my ex husband and mother hated it.
Cut all communication with them. It worked for me..!
I’ve found that when a narcissist says “whatever” it means I just tripped them up.
Every single time I tripped them up, they said exactly that! Whatever lol!
“Part of quantum law” ... there’s a powerful phrase that speaks volumes, wonderful insight, thank you Rebecca, you are doing incredible work and your audience really appreciates all of your phenomenal efforts!
So love your channel. Say nothing all the time and he disappears. Sometimes he will get more mad but I keep my mouth shut and he has been hiding downstairs. Love it.
The one narc at work simply couldn't handle it when I told him, in a calm tone, "You're entitled to your own reality. I'm not engaging in unnecessary dialogue", and I physically move away. Calmly. He literally was speechless every time.
SHUT them down.
S-H-U-T 🎵 T-H-E-M 🎶 DOWN!
(Made up music and am dancing to this)
Public enemy, (shut em down tune) good tune and they are public enemy
Where you say narcissists are at their worse when they know they've lost control for good--SO TRUE. Great video.
It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!
When it's broken, it's yours!
The narcissist's mindset. 🤮
You have to deal with them like they're totally crazy. Don't let them know your feelings or plans, and you call the shots!
Yes, but, difficult to do as a child.
Rebecca can you please do a video for the therapist to understand what the victim goes through. I have heard that there are many therapists who don't quite understand or believe. I have just filled out paperwork to get counseling, I am in a really BAD place, no one wants to hear anything against my narc, I told them with tears pouring, "I just want somebody to believe me", and I'm getting physically ill. You are a jewel Rebecca.
As i am watching your video, now i fully understand my situation, i was so devastated, i felt helpless, i blame myself, but now i am slowly enlighten, thnks to your video
Shut them down. Wish I understood these traits while I was married.
I figured it out at the end of my marriage, but trying to figure it out with my 20yr old son is a completely different story. I can't handle my child, regardless of his age, quite the same way I did his dad. I was also only 23 when I left his dad, 39 now, but still...
Shut them down. No contact is the best and quickest way to freedom
When I told him No! He's true colours came out. I blocked him and went no contact and walked away and kept moving forward
Saying nothing,makes my husband more upset! I can't wait to have "no contact"
Great news. Another survivor walking towards the door.
I would love to have “no contact” permanently but I need time to rebuild me. I have been with this guy for years and it is all about him. I earned the money ever since he decided he was too important to work. He has completely worn me down. I don’t cook, clean or have anyone over. He makes sure I don’t keep friends. I am now going no contact in the house as much as I can. Boy, does that unnerve and diminish him. It is nice to know it is working for others. I dream of a permanent no contact. Soon.
Yes. It drives them nuts.
God- this is like how to deal with children lol-
And a thief doesn’t break into empty houses💕
SHUT THEM DOWN!!!
I have been dealing with a covert narcissistic for over 26 years. Fed up. But the financial need has been a problem. Not letting me separate. I am so exhausted and almost suicidal because there is no way out except to keep fighting it. I can't work disabled. And I support 2 people my son who is disabled. On one disability check. This man has gotten violent on me that boundary, I drilled into him he will never touch me again. He has been mercilessly torturing me for a very long time. Now I am shutting him down emotionally. He hates it. Thankfully there is a universal door I walking through as early this month. The hand of God has shown me I will have my exit soon. Thank God. I feel really bad for people who are like me. I hope God offers them the same.
I'm so glad I found you 😃!!! I am on the right track because I do many of these! And they WORK! Unfortunately, I am married to the narcissist. I just figured him out and now it's time to get out!
Six months ago my daughter told me she didn't want to know me, so I went "NO CONTACT"!!!and she had to write to me, something she had never had to do before. Then she contacted me by text (the only connection she had for emergencies) to ask how I was with 2nd wave Covid. I was fine with that, but had problems with my own health problems, and had a visit to hospital for an operation.. It hurt,not seeing her, and it must have hurt her too. So I do a modified it, by "Fluffing", which I'd never heard of before.
Thank you for your time, videos, support. You pick me up just when I touch the bottom of the deep end. I can tread water again.
No contact is the BEST.
Shutting them down actually works!!!💯 it’s suffocates their narcissistic supply... cooler heads prevail!!
My mom is a covert narcissist. I've always felt so crazy and abused but it's so low key our extended family always thought she was so sweet. She accuses everyone else of being a narcissist and calls herself an empath. But she's so manipulative and us fantastic at double speaking and the guilt trip. I love her, it's all beyond confusing.
Wonderful information. No Contact is the hardest with family celebrations, ex weddings, christenings, funerals.
Thank you Rebecca. My narc is working on grinding me into the ground at court. You are an angel x
I used one that blows both the narc.in my life getting past conflict.( i believe you believe that .shuts down the gaslighting very quickly .
SHUT THEM DOWN 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤
Omg after 35 years I’m realizing I’m with a narcissist
My amount of time hasn't been that long yet, closer to 20 years
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME, I MOVED OUT 2 YEARS AGO. UNBELIEVABLY, THEY NEW GIRL I WAS SEEING HAPPENED TO BE ANOTHER COVERT NARCISSIST..BECAUSE OF HER I NOW KNOW EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM, I READ THE ENTIRE DSM 4..WOW..
THANKS AGAIN.
My "adult" sons are in the toddler stage in that what is mine is theirs, what is theirs is theirs - basically every single thing you said. Mind blowing. I never dreamed my sons would treat me this way. Incredible stress & drama. Thanks,
Rebecca your a beautiful ❤️ and wonderful human being you are helping all PPL suffering from narcissistic abuse to stay brave and strong and live a better life God bless you 🌹
Ms. Zung - only wish I could have had access to your videos in 2010/2011 and beyond. I replied to a young lady below as my daughter was married to one. After a 45-year flying career of which the last 23 were as an expat contractor, I went out last year and got my PI license, armed security certification, FAR 107 drone (sUAS) certification and, several times each week I will do some Process Serving. My favorites to surveil and eventually serve are the narcissists who think they're getting away with their sins but after getting caught they always play the victim. With Tennessee being a 1-party State, each one is on a covert video to protect me from the lies, deceit, and deception often found in this type of work. For your viewers please research the laws in your state and use them to your advantage. May all of you find the peace and comfort you deserve - God bless!
My father is like this his not gonna change so i just stopped talking to him
Yes!! Shut them down!! No oxygen to fan the flame of angst!!!
What about when the narcissist is your son? He was actually diagnosed w/ Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) when he was around 10/11, but he's definitely a narcissist...at 20. I love my son w/ my whole heart, I can't just kick him out of our lives like I did my ex-husband, his father, when my son was only 3 & my daughter, 2. Parents can't just give up on their kids. At least I can't, I don't have it in me.
Thankfully they don't remember his abusive behaviors, & I refused to say anything bad about their dad until they were older. I hated telling them at all, but I had to tell them the truth eventually...especially after my daughter, 12 at the time, accidentally read a text her dad wrote telling me my kids hate me & I should just hang myself, as if his words affected me anymore 10 yrs later, they hardly affected me when we were married 🙄 THAT drove him crazy.
My oldest spent his childhood extremely attached to me, but blaming & resenting me for his dad not being there at the same time. It festered & now, _everything_ is my fault. He clearly has many of the same psychological issues as his father; even though he hasn't been in his life much, they have almost identical personalities (minus the major drug abuse issues & my son isn't physically abusive like his dad, either...verbally is another story). I feel like I've tried everything, & while I can tell my son is desperately trying to get control of himself, especially his anger, & is much better in a lot of ways, it's just not enough. I don't know how much longer I can try to help him through this. Not when I also take care of my 74 yr old dad, the nicest man in the world (despite my obvious bias, it's true! Lol) & my super sweet & sensitive 11yr old son. They don't deserve the stress, they're innocent in all of this.
I'm at my wit's end...I love him so much, but my younger son doesn't need to see & be influenced by his outbursts & after living through it w/ my oldest kids' father too, I feel like I've spent my entire adult life (started dating their dad at 17) being abused and/or manipulated in some way...first his dad, & now to an extent, my own son. Thank God I have wonderful parents & an amazing childhood; between them & God, the foundation they gave me is virtually indestructible.
However, at some point enough is enough. I'm strong, but I'm not invincible. Without Jesus & my incredible parents..& holding it together the best I can for my kids' sake, I'd be a complete disaster by now. Other than praying, I'm at a total loss of what I'm supposed to do.
Bless you for sharing!
Rebecca I need to divorce people who aren't my husband. I have been walking on eggshells for most of my life. I'm eating sleeping and breathing your videos for about 10 days. I'm not even sure what day it is. Even my jeans are falling off. I have all the textbook symptoms of being raised by both parties who literally made sure we were seen and not heard, probably not even seen that much. I certainly bare the shame and quilt that was really not mine. I just have to shut down,
Boy, you sound like me. I finally, at the age of 69, have gone no contact with a sister who is a covert malignant narc. She has cancer and everyone is running to her, including me. Finally, I stepped back and asked myself, “What am I getting out of this”. She just wanted to put me down. Others, flying monkeys, have come to me, in the past, when I stopped being her supply and convinced me that I was her sister and don’t do that. Coming from an unstable home, I thought they must be right. They weren’t. You are going in the right direction ...one foot at a time. Oh, by-the-way, I have not missed my sister at all....not one second.
When she sensed a change in me, everything changed.
100% spot on. They are sad creatures.
Thank you so much for teaching me how to beat narcissists!!! I'm on my 2nd narcissistic husband(26 years!!!😨😜, but things are finally getting better!! (Yay!!)
I'm so much stronger now than he is!!!
I've been able to stand my ground and it scares him so much that it angers and confuses him because noone else has ever been able to turn the tables on him!!!🕴💃👍👏👣❤(Happy Dance!!😜😘)
Where have you been for my whole life!?!?😨🤔🤕😘
Thanks again, and God Bless you. 💋👸
Thank you for the strength you are bestowing on me.. You are a blessing.
Omg i like your videos so much. Keep uploading amazing content, it will help so many people!!
No matter how many times I watch this video I die every time @ Bye Felicia 💀🤣
I can't thank you enough for these videos! You are truly inspirational and I found these at a perfect time in my life!
Oh yes ma'am let's shut them down...it's toxic ,I have always been bullied for being nice and people keep taking advantage try putting me the space of scape goat ....not any more !!! Thanks to people like you and one more Dr.Ramani ...you people are doing amazing work by being helpful to people who needs clarity in handling these type of pseudo alpha showcasing people..who enjoys by humiliating others!!! Good bless and keep rocking 👍
Thanks so much for the tools you provide.
You don't need a word or a phrase. Simply turn around and walk out. It's not easy and women are taught to respond. Don't. Walk away and breathe. Run if you have to, scream, whatever, bless you but run the f* away.
Miss Zung I really understand when you say NO to the narcissist. But there are people out there who don't take NO for an answer.
My mother was a narcissist. Now that's she's dead my family dynamic is getting better however before that I had to do exactly that- distance from everyone that was in contact with her and cut her off
I deal with one who repeats herself a billion times even AFTER you acknowledge them.
Another great video. Yes saying nothing is really hard in certain circumstances, but it sounds a fun one to try and practice with.
What you say has worked for me ♾️ forever grateful , merci beaucoup 🕊️🙆✨te amo💛
Thank you I love what your saying. I'm still in no contact 👍😁❤🙏❤
I have had a very bad experience with a narcissist I'm glad I helped others and myself, now that I have shut them down no contact
These ppl are ZEROS. My husband is one. It's sad. He is so full of lies. He looks to be liked by his coworkers. He has no friends. He is awful, he is very jealous of me. He have his flying monkeys flowing through my town. But it's okay, I have gotten used to it. They look like a bunch of 🤡🤡 to me. Glad to see your channel.
Thank goodness! Iam not nuts! Thank you Rebecca you taught me so much how to deal with these peoples! I am not alone my lord and you , I feel better to shut them down ! Like you say ! No contact! I start to do it and they call me ! I say oh I been so busy ,; It works! Thank you Maria😥😑😬
Shut them down. Love your videos 👌❤👌
SHUT THEM DOWN I'M READY
Thank you for this video and ALL your videos. This one in particular has been invaluable in one dealing I dreaded. You're inspiring. Please keep up these videos, I can see I'm not the only one who finds them useful!
I've tried all of them, so it's getting close to being no contact cause I had to tell the person do not share your opinion when it is a derogatory comment towards a group of people who are not bothering anyone. I've tried the trust thing, only to have it broken, and agreeing with this one makes it worse, along with saying I hear you as this encourages the droning on about how she is the victim or the hardest worker.
Shut them DOWN!
Heres one that makes their heads explode.. sacastically say.. its your world.. we re just living in it.
It’s a short term Shit down and he immediately addressed it with we have to separate. After 6 years together and he’s almost died 5 times. I’ve saved his life. No one comes to see him in the hospital. Just me. The minute I’m not well, my girl and I get kicked out. He was very quick to drop that bomb. Edit never mind I need to be planning way way ahead and he’s got me by the proverbial balls. There is such a thing as being too nice.
Shut them Down... Better to keep them off Our lives.. At least Children grow and pass that stage.🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
Nice message thank you
It is true, they aren't used to it. I had a horrible narc flatmate and we agreed not to speak to each other but one day she knocked on my door and I accidently opened it and I said 'Sorry, I don't want to speak to you' and shut the door. She was pxxxxd off, oh I am so rude. Bear in mind she screamed on me at our first meeting lol I don't need to people please horrible people and I don't even if have to speak to her if I don't want to. It gave me a lot of power, as she couldn't manipulate me and had to look at a closed door. I knew I was leaving anyway and there was no need to speak to her anyway. Please today that we have packed our bags and we moved to a lovely, quiet and normal place. #southwestlondon
If you try to shut up a narcissist, you will put yourself in danger, some of them are violent or will ruin your life if you try to win an argument with them, moving away is the one and only way to deal with them.
I appreciate your videos! Thank you for taking the time to make them. Your videos help clarify situations and understand what's really going on.
I refuse to be yelled at! I am tired of all the drama. I won’t trust a delusional liar.! I’m grateful I moved out several months. Now the divorce will happen. He’s done nothing
Shut them down. Burry them. Shut them down forever
SHUT THEM DOWN! (I capital letters to show my conviction.)
They will never be fair.
Thank you Rebecca! I have been saying no to at least one form of a narcissist seemingly daily. The flying monkeys are everywhere in southern Oregon even at the credit Union. We may have to close our account and move our business to a more professional financial institution so we can be treated with respect.
Shut them down, PLEASE.
Thanks so much, you're definitely helping me.
I recieve the light. Thank you very much 💛
Watching now...Shut them down!!!
Say no and a whole flip out comes, even if it’s a decline to go anywhere or to talk
SHUT THEM DOWN!