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My new wife and I are both empaths. We were both subject to narcissistic behavior in our prior relationships. We made an agreement that we were going to "change our recipe ". We did, we turned our backs without a word on the narcissistic people in our lives. Oh sure, they tossed us under the bus at any given chance. But a year later we have not had any contact with them and they found a different supplier! And we are so very happy together! Just turn your back and walk away! It destroyed the narcissists that had caused so much drama in our lives!
I think two survivors will make a great couple! They have to have come out the other side and not be codependent- I bet you two are going to be an awesome team!
OMG yesssss you are a queen, u must feel amazing !! I'm stuck here with this pos narc and he won't get out of our apartment. My daughter and I have no where to go and I just hope and pray that I can say that I left too one day
lol--im thinking about that scene in the Betty Broderick movie where the husband presents her with divorce papers in the restaurant and how shocked she was even though she was always wanting a divorce (Claimed to anyway) lol
@@MsLuvmusic81 I think my situation was more put up with my acting out because we are married now, or so it seemed. Horrible communicator. Could never reach whoever was in there buried beneath all that shame. Can never have a healthy relationship with someone like that.
I’ll tell you what shocked my Narc ex of 21 years. It’s when I told him that I lasted longer with him than anyone he’s known, including his family! Total shock! He went silent😳
You're so right! On top of being mentally and verbally abusive when sober, mine has been drunk going on 3 months now. His sister and I may have him committed tomorrow. He attacks me both physically and verbally and afterwards comes to me and says, "I love you, so just stop!" I guess he convinces himself that I am the one who needs to "stop".
Yesss. I surprised her because she is the queen narc and she had no clue until I left a voicemail saying we are done. Because I could only talk to her when she called me, not when I called her. Her lies and deceit and abuse was enough especially from the stress she put on me and almost cost me her life. But I'm free from her for a little over two yrs now. But still have that toxic crud she put into me. But Im slowly learning to better myself and I see red flags very clearly now. Good luck everyone. Love yourself enough to get out of the abusive relationship.
And that's usually when they play the victim and they say oh he broke up with me on a voicemail he wouldn't even tell me himself isn't it amazing the double standard they have I'm glad you're out and you're free and yes it takes a while to recover I did eventually remarry and find a wonderful woman and believe me they're hard to find my wife once asked me why are you with me and I said you're nice that's it that's why I married her she is an actual kind person
I am waaay past thinking that those things can be helped. All of my empathy goes to other empaths and myself. I do not waste my money, time, energy, or empathy. Stay away from those things as much as possible, especially in your mind.
I am currently in battle with the narc. I never dreamed it would get so awful... there is NO negotiation s on their part. There is him trying to get the largest dollar amount he can from me. We have been married 8 years, both in our 70’s, he had a stroke nearly 5 years ago . I have stayed in this hell hole taking care of someone who critics, condemns and demeans me at every turn. For the past 3 years he has been fighting with me about buying him out of a home we own together. I finally agreed and I am taking action. The smear campaign has started... the name calling has the started... I just want to get out of this and have joy and peace back in my life. Thank you for your videos , I know when I stand up to him he can not stand it. I was so bad before I started watching videos on narcissism that I would be hungry and wait,on him to eat. Wait on him to go to bed. I was one sick puppy. Much of,what I have endured has been from my church teaching to stay and suffer...NOT any more... if people in the church talk... then let them....
I gave him the house. I just wanted away from him. Living under a bridge seemed a better alternative. I didn't have to. I have relatives who care but you have to be willing.
barbara strayhorn I know he can not take it when I stand up to him, I have been his servant for too long. Here’s the deal, I paid 100,000 for my part of this house. He paid 95,000.( I did not realize he paid less than me until I searched out the papers). NO! I will stay and I will fight. Going to the lawyer tomorrow. I am codependent. I am an empath. I am a martyr. I am a giver. I am everything he ever dreamed of. He has killed my spirit and made me second guess everything I do. This is so difficult because part of me still feels sorry for him... and I do worry about who will take care of him. The more of these videos I watch, the more I know that I have to save myself.
After 4 years with a malignant female narcissist I finally told her face to face that I was tired of being played and manipulated and taken advantage of and wanted to sever ties with her So she runs out of the restaurant we were in and starts walking down the street back to her vehicle . That night I was served with a pfa against me by my local police department. But my counterclaim is very strong and I documented much of what was done to me over the 4 years and I do have a good attorney representing me in court . She couldn't handle the fact that I did the discard after she had discarded me a half dozen times previously so her narcissistic injury was so bad I guess that she made up a bunch of vicious lies about me in court documents
My x tried to do that to me too. He called the Police, called DCF and did horrible things to me when I would no longer take his crap. He still insists he is the victim. It takes patience and I had to rebuild my entire life, but I went to the local abuse shelter outreach and got a counselor, and help for my son too. There is no end to what these sick people will do. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have him out of my life even though it almost cost me mine.
Mine showed up with 2 detectives alleging that I abused him. 🙄 I was arrested & given an Order of Protection. He ended up getting charged with child neglect when the court sent ACS because of HIS lies. It turned on him. I blocked him 2 years now and haven’t spoken to him.
OMG they hated it when they're found out it's literally the most painful thing in the world for them considering the fact that they have no base personality they just run around mirroring people in creating different personalities for all the different people
Yes! Standing up for yourself is shocking. That isn't to mean combative, but just quietly protecting yourself. Just say "no" is the biggest step we can take. And then when you go no contact and move away they have to scramble for excuses.
When you walk away from them, and you can do it with a genuine smile on your face... That'll take the wind right out of their sails... For a while anyhow.
Yes, a friend said X felt exploited by everyone. He turned on me and ran away when I finally figured him out and set boundaries. And when I stepped up to help my narc parents in their old age they were very skeptical. 🤨 You’re spot on Rebecca.
Yes you are so right . My narc was shocked and gave me so much rage, hoover and love booming for long time since I filed divorce and it surprises me that he is still trying to stop the divorce past one year of me filing divorce. He never thought I would ever do this.
When they undermine us! That we are not weak little victims and we show it. They will try to elevate themselves by trying to put you down but THINK about it if they are having to put us down they can see what we are capable of and it scares them. Just think of them as frightened little children. They're not so scary now are they? It's a game of the mind.
Yes I am here ty for all the tips and they really help me I love you he responcewhwtev er it shuts him down and acting like I could careless what his opinion is ..mso ty
Yes. Greetings from Argentina. My narc became so predictable. Sadly she felt the narcisistic injure a while ago when she hoovered after a year of discard during this last pandemic lockdown. I could actually feel her hate through a text message. I am stronger and feeling better now that i'm sure what kind of person i was dealing with. Nice video i liked it a lot. Thanks
Was with one of these for about 7 y. So I got a new bf more than 3 y after. And my patterns are totally off, on this kind and very gentle person, I'm off, not him. I can't trust anyone, but it's my responsibility to work on that. It's creating a lot of anxiety and wrath after this. I thought I had finished with this but it's not that simple when you've involved a lot off behaviour patterns and feel insecure about yourself. My thoughts and feelings are on my account. If you've ever been with a narcissistic person, don't blame them, you wouldn't blame a child either. Keep them off your back and remember to not share anything personal with them. If you can, keep them out of your life totally. It's important to work on yourself. First step is to not blame, take your own responsibility for your self esteem, your feelings and your life.
I cant be responsible if I didn't know what was going on and wtfff until that thing was gone and out of my life... I found out what I was dealing with because it was all mind fu*king and hypnotic I had to step back so now I take responsibility for my actions.
I only take responsibility for 1/2! My half. I let them use me over and over and treat me like shit before I realized what was going on and had been going on for years and years. I take full responsibility for letting that happen. I blame the narcissist for their 1/2!
Getting a compliment from the X narc was far and few between You gotta have a strong sense of self value, self worth cuz they constantly pull you down. Every time I came up for air he was always pushing my head underwater figuratively speaking.
The most surprising thing for my narc piece of work was the discovery that he didn't matter for me any more, I don't need his attention,I'm not keen on talking to him.It was about 1 month after he broke up with me( I was relieved as I'd planned to do it myself anyway).I suppose he expected me to love him until the end of my life LOL.
It is the most horrific thing when a Narc is intoxicated on the weekend, and tells you to get the F out, because you refuse to give back the bank card that was relinquished, by the N, before the weekend, to avoid buying more alcohol. Doesn’t display any concern as you’re leaving the house. On Monday it’s back to the “I love you” before work, and in the evening”,,, “Can I get you a bowl of food, in the most sweetest tone. Cycle all over again. BTW,Thank you for your videos
There was a discussion (again) about the tendencies my Narc has, and all the problems it has caused. I was told, Narcs words, “ I will not drink anymore”. I have been enduring 6 years, and now finally says to me, “no more drinking”. Giving up the drinking tendency Narc has had since 1900’s?
6 lawyers on 1 case, 2 in dual roles Trust/Beneficiary. They are all Stalling $$$. Now get this..... the Judge said, "The lawyers are not the problem."
Judges and guardian as litems. They are all clueless amd able to get duped. Only ONE JUDGE SAW THIS ! even the family counselors are a joke. They can’t see past their noses. And when I tell them what I’m dealing with he makes me look bad. Honestly- our youngest will be 18 in 3 years . That’s my only hope now. After the one judge it’s been terrible. We divorced in 2005! He drags me to court ever since then I have a 5 or 6 inch binder that’s official docs only. His mom used almost all of her retirement for him against me. He just recently was divorced from his wife amd all through their marriage he was still harassing me. Tore our children apart and one doesn’t ’t speak to him and two don’t speak to me and the youngest is in the family counseling that’s a joke because she doesn’t want to go there. It’s hell! It’s hell!! Sadly my only hope is adulthood for our girl. He manipulated one by saying he was dying and wanted her to live him for the rest of his days
If I don’t respond to a text message within seconds, or I wait more than 30 minutes to respond, I hear “what’s wrong with you?”. “What have you been up to?” Or “why have you been ignoring me?” But if he doesn’t respond to mine for 30 minutes or so, I’ve been busy or with friends.
Thanks so much for this spot on video! I believe that covert narcissists are equally malignant to overt narcs. Moreover, whether someone is covert or overt often depends upon the circumstances rather than that they are fundamentally one over the over. Most I have met would be overt if they had enough external power in the world.
YES! Some time ago, it was September, on my birthday, and I was having pizza at a pizza hut. The waitress their, who's name was REBECCA seemed a bit distraught. I asked her what was wrong, and she described some unpleasant conduct towards her from her boss. I told her to think of herself as a ship of her choosing, a battleship or luxury liner ( I am thinking it was the latter as she was a sweetie ) and that the water is like her workplace. ' Don't let the water into the boat ' was the meta4 I prompted her to think of. Sounds like a theme you discuss here. Like Robert Plant sang on the 3rd Led Zeppelin album : ' The greatest thing you ever can do now is share a smile with someone who's blue now '. Bless you Rebecca!
This is so sweet. I recently had a dream about waiters and waitresses in a pizza hut. I dont often remember my dreams or eat at pizza hut. True story. Im reading your message to Rebecca, and I will use this metaphor. Thank you. Nothing is an accident. God bless you kind soul
This was excellent. You described the narc friend I had in my life to a T & the empath in me. Just amazing. I wish I would’ve found this video ten years ago. Yet better now than never for sure!!
This is what I'm dealing with now. He now knows my boundaries and I'm not dealing with his poor behavior any longer. I figured this one out and I know its time to go. He is not going to change so no need for me to stick this marriage out. Each day I get closer to my freedom! I'm so excited for a future without him in it. Ladies/men please listen to that voice or nudge before marrying these people. It is a waste of time and mental health!
Deny them Narcissistic Supply "out of the blue". This vid is very good Rebecca. I'm going to save it to my "watch again" list. I've also found that they get jealous if you "tell them how well you're doing".
Yes. She knew I was generous, still am, but both my ex's used it so horribly. 1st ex waited right until I filed against soon-to-be 2nd ex wife to start threatening me if I got off disability and tried to be self-employed...demanded my address so she could serve me to get full custody, because she knew I wanted out of the 2nd toxic marriage because I wasn't "being allowed" to love my kids...its a nightmare. Yes! It was the "narc panic" video that I saw first, that's the one that saved me but I didn't have a phone at the time so I could like and subscribe at the time; got my own phone now! 1st one in six years!! Thank you, again, Rebecca, you're awesomesauce!
Thanks. Just going through it with family and in-laws. My wife and I will never belong in their mutual admiration society...Poor us...We're free from a family that was never there.
Yes no contact has been hard. I had to put distance to the tune of 3000 miles. He wouldn't have sense enough to buy a plane ticket even if he knew where I was. Then there is the new supply . I've been no contact 35 days a I inflicted a severe injury before no contact. I'm not afraid of him nor do I have a problem calling him out from his bullshit which I also did before no contact. Day by day I'm getting better.
So delighted to listen to your spot on analytics! I’m getting ready to discard someone I’ve been sucked into his web and cutting all monies to him dispute his constant I ‘m coming off drugs and can’t deal with his mother’s death 2 years ago. Thought I could help and thousands later freeing myself .He’s texting and starving ! Thank you Billy Palm Bch Fl
Yes, I agree with you! You are so right! My narcissist spouse constantly tells me he's not going to pay me more than an amount he decided is enough and it's not enough, it's not even what I've been quoted I'm entitled to from a couple divorce attorneys But they sort of almost defend him when I told these attorneys my husband is a narcissist, they almost defend him, they definitely almost don't want to talk to me So 12 of the 14 years we've been married, I've been trying to get out with no support from family, because I have none, and no friends, because they all faded away from my life, especially when I've told them I'm married to a narcissist!
Thanks, woman. You always keep it thorough and authentic full of the most important content and then some.. Your great at doing what you do! ~Maggie B.
I know you meant this as a compliment to Ms. Zung, but it made me cringe. , My narcissist called me woman as a means of trying to degrade me and put me in my place. I don’t think I ever want to be referred to a woman again, except as a gender.
If you stand up to them, they feed off of that. What surprises a narcissist is when you don't leave them any way out of a situation. No warning. Don't tell anyone what you are going to do. You have to hurt yourself to really hurt them.
Amazing advice as always Rebecca! U nailed it on the head....including mine & how terrible feel for letting this other person continue so long with their false sincere acts of giving & kindness. Those gestures were all so they got exactly what they wanted & or needed, not done for my benefit whatsoever. Now it's so obvious...why didn't I follow my intuition sooner, I don't know.
@@ceecee6378 yes all the d's devalue disrespect disregard dismiss deflect Deny discard. Pathological lying all day n night. Steals. Selfish in bedroom all about him we don't sleep together I stopped yrs ago. Blames gaslighting all time throws kids under the bus will not take responsibility at all pays no Bill's alcoholic addict etc. I'm so DONE OVER IT MY HEALTH has declined so bad I was In the BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE until I met him in he was hurt as a kid neglected s.abuse he is entitled he lies 2 his therapist don't do h.w I'm here if u ever want 2 talk we all needs support. So much more . Hugs xoxox
tracey zottarelli Hugs Tracey!! I’m not doing well myself. We were together for almost 30 yrs and have 3 kids. I’m definitely struggling. The chaos is just too much sometimes. And I’m trauma squared (family of origin too) I’m in Rebecca’s private Facebook group also. I definitely need help with communicating with this kind of personality disorder. It’s the “other pandemic” for sure like she says.
Wow!! Just started watching your video from yesterday. It’s very very peaceful and lightning. Panacea for everyone who are dealing with pathological character. Love and respect ✊🏻
So, back on 18 Mar (before watching all the videos out there - yours and Dr. Ramani's), I believe I shocked my wife by pointing out I think she's a narcissist. She had therapy that day (was originally couples counseling, but turned into solo sessions). The next day she left and went no contact. I found out she's telling people I'm a Covert Narcissist, and when I looked it up, I thought I might be. She'd been planning this for awhile, since she also took the taxes and several personal items. I think she got the counselor wrapped up in her story and convinced people I'm the bad guy. After 6+ weeks of NC, I actually need to thank her for giving me the time to recover and self-reflect. I've been back to church and weekly therapy sessions. It almost feels liberating. Of course I think she will be surprised again at the end of the week when the divorce papers are served. I think she feels she's still in control. My worst fear is that after the papers are served, she will contact me again and try some tactics or go full smear campaign.
Love your stuff. Im the baby of 5 girls, 12 years younger than the rest. The one who was the baby before I came along is the narcissist. Long story short...(there are tons) I've her watched throw people away all my life. Was scared of her cuz of this. Finally I stood up to her. She has lied to my other sisters (told them im drinking again) simply not so, the 24th I'll have 10 years. She Called Board of Nursing (she told me when she was telling me how "drama" I am... Im like WTH...shes got nothing, we don't realĺy talk. She lives in another state. She did NOT get a rise from me. Ive done nothing wrong, have nothing to hide. Heres what gets me... she told me (to upset me) the day before my daughters wedding! It killed her I looked non phased. No way would I let her drama spoil my daughters special day. I got her figured out but no one else does. She's gotten my family to turn on me and when I attempt to talk to them they reject me saying I'm starting drama. Ya know I'm the baby by 12 years and I know nothing! I'm gonna lose my family Im afraid (not my daughter) I hate it, she's manipulated them and has fir years and they treat me poorly. Im just wanna scream..."will you open your eyes" Shes not in my life but hurting me through my family. Sick and evil bitch!
Thank you Rebecca, I found your video very helpful. I am in a constant war with an extremely malignant covert narcissist. They can be defeated, but never underestimate them for the power of great evil is in them. The one that lives with me absolutely refuses to leave, he is still trying to destroy me even though he knows I know. He is always at his work. He is a very powerful covert narc and has decieved many people. The way I deal with him is make sure I say genuine prayers almost every day, read or listen to the Holy Bible every day and make a huge effort everyday to be sincere, pure, righteous, and holy. If I slack off then it seems that the powers of darkness get the upper hand and I start feeling terrible and trapped and hopeless and even wishing for death. So then this Narc is trying literally to destroy me, he shows no signs of relenting and that's because he has a cold heart with no love. I have stood up to him many times, but he never gives up. That's why I know in my heart only God can deliver me now. I live with my ex-wife and care for her because she has many health problems, one of the reasons he keeps winning is through her because she still does not realize how evil he is and just thinks he is a nice man. He has us completely isolated even from the police, courts or any in authority because he has the upper hand, I have no evidence to show to others how evil he is. He is a street angle and home devil, but my ex-wife still can not see that. Thank you for your video.
Same situation. Unfortunately, vampires can’t come in your home unless u invite them. After that u have to move out and that’s wat I did. But the consequences are financially draining but safety first and they are out for your throat. I believe was even drugged to shut me up and out of the way in my own home. This is someone I invited as a house guest.
I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I cannot leave my home because I take care of my disabled/unwell ex-wife. I really do not know what to do except trust God that he will deliver both me and my ex-wife. It is so sad that my ex-wife has been totally blinded by the covert narcs lies and I have to put up with him refusing to leave my home. I tried to retaliate in the past and it eventually ended up the police told me that I would go to jail but the Narc would be free. I do not know what he told the police, they have been around at least four times. Basically until God delivers us, we are trapped in the power of the evil narc, he is an extremely skilled in deciet covert narcissist. God will deliver me one day. Thank you for your message.
Yes, you are talking about my one department supervisor. She loves to micromanage and threaten with disciplinary action. She on a complete power trip. That's why she doesn't want to retire because she will lose having power and authority.
YES! I'm genuinely kind - yeah, they don't get it. Neither did I - my kindness has been to my detriment. What surprises the narcs who have taken advantage of me they are surprised that I take them to court and win. I have a small claims pending and an elder abuse hearing in a few days - she did not see that coming. I'm nervous of course.
I cannot leave. I must endure, and learn more about how to maneuver through this toxic trash. These ladies that have provided these videos are my heroes. I would’ve never learned what NPD or Narcissistic tendencies were, if it weren’t for them.
How can I get what I want, sense of entitlement, rules don't apply to me, temper tantrums when confronted, lack of empathy . What threw me was figuring out that there is covert narcissism walking Among Us.
I told my bully I would tell my family about his behavior, and he was so shocked, he threatened to report me to the police for “harassing” him which was really retaliation to his calling me out of my name.
LOL - mine too. The server swerved the documents on him just before he left the house for the airport one Sunday afternoon (kids and I had left to see film 20 m earlier). He had no idea! I’d tried to talk to him. He walked away (increased business trips). I went and did therapy. He had no time for something so useless. If I challenged his behaviour, he shut me down. He called to make me feel ashamed of my manipulative behaviour 🤣. I asked him “are you saying you’re SURPRISED by what I’ve done?” Long pause. “Well, no. I’m just totally DISGUSTED by how you’ve gone about it!” Sure. Or maybe you’re super-pissed I got there first.
"#1: you also become ' defensive ' with kindness, for you've experienced how that was used against you... your # 2: stand up to them- well, that's when they transition into violent behavior to you. #3: " no contact ": well , if you're in a combined business/family environment, -like farming- that creates a challenge, for decisions have to be made, of which require communication , THEY will do noncomunication, for that's their " leverage " ..a tool of " crazy making " to trigger your PTSD.
When I first started dating my x-wife before we were talking about getting married i remember her asking me who i would rescue first if our car ever crashed into water. We had no kids together but she asked me if i would rescue her first or my 8 yr old daughter. I told her the goal is to get everyone out at the same time before the car goes down. She came across as being only concerned for herself, no concern at all for my daughter. That alone should had set a red flag for me but i just thought her question and reaction was odd and at that time i had no clue what a Narcissist was.
my situation is OVER dealt with mediation and I was smeared unbelievable during the entire mediation it was shocking the lies lies lies he said and how his story about me made me look! I lead lost for words! I settled to be DONE plus I added a NO CONTACT ORDER into my settlement! he did called not even a week later but was smart enough not to leave a voice message he has NOT called back since! I should be happy/relieved and looking towards the future my question is WHY is this moving forward effecting me so bad? I’m literally sick over it! my emotions are all over the place depression lots of anxiety it’s been unbelievable! 20 years is along time 😭 I think back over the years and everything I went through not all was bad but unhealthy dealing with a narcissist! It’s hard letting it sink in that a relationship with a narcissist is a COMPLETE LIE from the state! 20 years liesssssss as I get more and more educated about narcissistic (abuse) it just makes me sicker and sicker! when will I start feeling better why are my emotions so sad depressed filled with anxiety fear and about moving forward?!? 😭
Finally after my divorce I decided to move on with my life but of course I suffered from an anxiety disorder claustrophobia a lot of trouble sleeping my nerves were shot it takes a long time to heal and one of the things that you're probably looking for that you will never get from the narcissist is closure confirmation anything that any normal person would give you validation they do all this on purpose so you will never be able to move on but here's the thing the narcissist cannot internalize their emotions they will never move on either that's why they don't want you to move on
Got CPTSD and got narc that felt genuine love for real but no, more ptsd instead. Very very disconcerting but a lesson, but it shows that people are screwed up in a way that is not ok.
I send thank you cards ... my granddaughter learned from me. My son (now) and the to be wife ( step mom) were telling my granddaughter there was no reason to do that ... They never have thanked me for any gifts ( since he has been with #2) of fact they have not given me gifts or cards... at all . It is really a shame.
Here was always divorce divorce when don’t get what he wanted. Said I hav 2 options. He make me suffer or divorce. So bye bye lol. Always gone weeks or month n back at the door. Like nothing happened. They r psycho.
Just watched this for the 2nd time: it's good to be reminded of what the narc's are like...the xnarc in my life was secretive: never conversed so never told tall tales. Never told a truth, either, when asked about his day or what he'd been up to away from home in the years when I had no idea he was with other women. Now I think a good phrase for the yarn spinning narc might be: Is that true? Instead of our usual Is that right phrase. I think the word 'true' might rattle their chains a little - or a lot!
When you tell him it's amazing what a small world it is there's so many people that I know that you know that you don't know I know and then you start dropping names then you discard them immediately while their jaw is still on the ground from the first statement never in my life that I want to strangle somebody to death I thought of it I had to leave I think I would have
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Missing Everything [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dTYeMZGzOzw/mqdefault.jpg)
Want to learn more about what surprises the narcissist? Come join me on my free webinar, the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets to Communicating with Narcissists right here: www.rebeccazung.com/live
I will be there live to answer all your questions. Can't wait to meet you there!
Yes
My new wife and I are both empaths. We were both subject to narcissistic behavior in our prior relationships. We made an agreement that we were going to "change our recipe ". We did, we turned our backs without a word on the narcissistic people in our lives. Oh sure, they tossed us under the bus at any given chance. But a year later we have not had any contact with them and they found a different supplier! And we are so very happy together! Just turn your back and walk away! It destroyed the narcissists that had caused so much drama in our lives!
I think two survivors will make a great couple! They have to have come out the other side and not be codependent- I bet you two are going to be an awesome team!
Wishing you and your Empath wife, all the love, laughter and happiness to have wonderful times and beautiful memories. 💗
Good for you! I hope you have many, many years of joy.
Turn your backs to them and watch them scramble especially when they're the center of the universe and you no longer look at them that way
AMEN!!!
Surprise a narcissist by going totally no contact. Rather, be surprised yourself with the peace it brings to your life
Going No Contact has been the hardest thing to do but has been the best advice!
I left my husband of 33 years marriage now I’m free of him for 13 days and I love it
Yes exactly 😭. 💔 💕💕
triplekids3 - I cannot imagine what that feels like, to be free like that.
OMG yesssss you are a queen, u must feel amazing !! I'm stuck here with this pos narc and he won't get out of our apartment. My daughter and I have no where to go and I just hope and pray that I can say that I left too one day
Can’t if you co-parent
My narc would hide for days when I would stand up for myself and views. So passive aggressive and childish . Loved the piece and quite!
good time to center ones self. Recharge.
Any standing up for myself in a basic way, generally warrents a silant treatment. ..
Hugs. You deserve better. To be loved. To be seen. To be heard. Let your light shine 😊☀️💕.
Peace and Quiet..
So painful to wrap your head around. He left me no choice
Divorce papers surprised mine.
lol--im thinking about that scene in the Betty Broderick movie where the husband presents her with divorce papers in the restaurant and how shocked she was even though she was always wanting a divorce (Claimed to anyway) lol
Surprised mine too LOL
@@MsLuvmusic81 I think my situation was more put up with my acting out because we are married now, or so it seemed. Horrible communicator. Could never reach whoever was in there buried beneath all that shame. Can never have a healthy relationship with someone like that.
@@robchocek right they think since you're married youre stuck but no, you can always leave, there's always a choice
Mine too!
YES. They will fully take advantage of a kind person if they can. I have reached the point like the tshirt slogan “Underestimate me, that’ll be fun”
I’ll tell you what shocked my Narc ex of 21 years. It’s when I told him that I lasted longer with him than anyone he’s known, including his family! Total shock! He went silent😳
Narcissists have the love of power rather than the power of love. They view Love as a weakness to exploit.
You're so right! On top of being mentally and verbally abusive when sober, mine has been drunk going on 3 months now. His sister and I may have him committed tomorrow. He attacks me both physically and verbally and afterwards comes to me and says, "I love you, so just stop!" I guess he convinces himself that I am the one who needs to "stop".
Hitting the head of the nail. Lil missy those are very kind if not loving words that filled my heart as it was completely dried out. Aloha
AMEN
@@jontommomoa7846 she's good also I've been slowing healing
So very true!!!
going through this you need a lot of support people who have been there and understand! it’s really a hard thing to go through 😒
In a nutshell.
Yesss. I surprised her because she is the queen narc and she had no clue until I left a voicemail saying we are done. Because I could only talk to her when she called me, not when I called her. Her lies and deceit and abuse was enough especially from the stress she put on me and almost cost me her life.
But I'm free from her for a little over two yrs now. But still have that toxic crud she put into me. But Im slowly learning to better myself and I see red flags very clearly now. Good luck everyone. Love yourself enough to get out of the abusive relationship.
Matches Malone - I’d be a billionaire if I was paid for every lie! My goodness,,, the lies flow like a waterfall.
And that's usually when they play the victim and they say oh he broke up with me on a voicemail he wouldn't even tell me himself isn't it amazing the double standard they have I'm glad you're out and you're free and yes it takes a while to recover I did eventually remarry and find a wonderful woman and believe me they're hard to find my wife once asked me why are you with me and I said you're nice that's it that's why I married her she is an actual kind person
I am waaay past thinking that those things can be helped. All of my empathy goes to other empaths and myself. I do not waste my money, time, energy, or empathy. Stay away from those things as much as possible, especially in your mind.
yes, they Are things, not people. I call them things too and my mother is one of those things.
@@blancabrown7306 its bad enough when its a partner or boss. Im sorry to hear that. Hang in there.
Yes! I am stronger than during my relationship and I am going no contact. With this I protect my children.
How can i help my son from ex who is narcissist
Victoria W When I left my husband, my parents and my Friends stand by me. I never felt lonely.
@@matise889
I have no support
@@toritori8651 I’m dealing with that with my children & hate to say it but it’s impossible!
I am currently in battle with the narc. I never dreamed it would get so awful... there is NO negotiation s on their part. There is him trying to get the largest dollar amount he can from me. We have been married 8 years, both in our 70’s, he had a stroke nearly 5 years ago . I have stayed in this hell hole taking care of someone who critics, condemns and demeans me at every turn. For the past 3 years he has been fighting with me about buying him out of a home we own together. I finally agreed and I am taking action. The smear campaign has started... the name calling has the started... I just want to get out of this and have joy and peace back in my life. Thank you for your videos , I know when I stand up to him he can not stand it. I was so bad before I started watching videos on narcissism that I would be hungry and wait,on him to eat. Wait on him to go to bed. I was one sick puppy. Much of,what I have endured has been from my church teaching to stay and suffer...NOT any more... if people in the church talk... then let them....
I gave him the house. I just wanted away from him. Living under a bridge seemed a better alternative. I didn't have to. I have relatives who care but you have to be willing.
Sounds so much like my own life and all I want is some peace and joy out of what's left of my life!
barbara strayhorn I know he can not take it when I stand up to him, I have been his servant for too long. Here’s the deal, I paid 100,000 for my part of this house. He paid 95,000.( I did not realize he paid less than me until I searched out the papers). NO! I will stay and I will fight. Going to the lawyer tomorrow. I am codependent. I am an empath. I am a martyr. I am a giver. I am everything he ever dreamed of. He has killed my spirit and made me second guess everything I do. This is so difficult because part of me still feels sorry for him... and I do worry about who will take care of him. The more of these videos I watch, the more I know that I have to save myself.
It's amazing how they rely on your Humanity but give you none
After 4 years with a malignant female narcissist I finally told her face to face that I was tired of being played and manipulated and taken advantage of and wanted to sever ties with her
So she runs out of the restaurant we were in and starts walking down the street back to her vehicle . That night I was served with a pfa against me by my local police department. But my counterclaim is very strong and I documented much of what was done to me over the 4 years and I do have a good attorney representing me in court . She couldn't handle the fact that I did the discard after she had discarded me a half dozen times previously so her narcissistic injury was so bad I guess that she made up a bunch of vicious lies about me in court documents
When he opened the door for the sheriffs at 6am with his restraining and move out order.
My x tried to do that to me too. He called the Police, called DCF and did horrible things to me when I would no longer take his crap. He still insists he is the victim. It takes patience and I had to rebuild my entire life, but I went to the local abuse shelter outreach and got a counselor, and help for my son too. There is no end to what these sick people will do. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have him out of my life even though it almost cost me mine.
Oh snap!!
Mine showed up with 2 detectives alleging that I abused him. 🙄 I was arrested & given an Order of Protection. He ended up getting charged with child neglect when the court sent ACS because of HIS lies. It turned on him. I blocked him 2 years now and haven’t spoken to him.
I exposed him for what he is, he has disappeared.
OMG they hated it when they're found out it's literally the most painful thing in the world for them considering the fact that they have no base personality they just run around mirroring people in creating different personalities for all the different people
Yes! Standing up for yourself is shocking. That isn't to mean combative, but just quietly protecting yourself.
Just say "no" is the biggest step we can take. And then when you go no contact and move away they have to scramble for excuses.
Heather Smith great words,thank you
Your speech is so pure and clean, a truly respected lady. A rare gem in a professional world. Refeshing.
When you walk away from them, and you can do it with a genuine smile on your face... That'll take the wind right out of their sails... For a while anyhow.
Yes, a friend said X felt exploited by everyone. He turned on me and ran away when I finally figured him out and set boundaries. And when I stepped up to help my narc parents in their old age they were very skeptical. 🤨 You’re spot on Rebecca.
Yes you are so right . My narc was shocked and gave me so much rage, hoover and love booming for long time since I filed divorce and it surprises me that he is still trying to stop the divorce past one year of me filing divorce. He never thought I would ever do this.
They have a predisposition for badness, clear and simple.
When they undermine us! That we are not weak little victims and we show it.
They will try to elevate themselves by trying to put you down but THINK about it if they are having to put us down they can see what we are capable of and it scares them.
Just think of them as frightened little children. They're not so scary now are they?
It's a game of the mind.
Yes I am here ty for all the tips and they really help me I love you he responcewhwtev er it shuts him down and acting like I could careless what his opinion is ..mso ty
Pathological liars is very correct but I’m the one that’s always called the liar, the blame is always put on me
Me too!!! When theyre the actual liars
Yes. Greetings from Argentina. My narc became so predictable. Sadly she felt the narcisistic injure a while ago when she hoovered after a year of discard during this last pandemic lockdown. I could actually feel her hate through a text message. I am stronger and feeling better now that i'm sure what kind of person i was dealing with. Nice video i liked it a lot. Thanks
'narcisists can't be rehabilitated'😳🙏🙏🙏🙏 from Belgium, Europe
Was with one of these for about 7 y. So I got a new bf more than 3 y after. And my patterns are totally off, on this kind and very gentle person, I'm off, not him. I can't trust anyone, but it's my responsibility to work on that. It's creating a lot of anxiety and wrath after this. I thought I had finished with this but it's not that simple when you've involved a lot off behaviour patterns and feel insecure about yourself.
My thoughts and feelings are on my account. If you've ever been with a narcissistic person, don't blame them, you wouldn't blame a child either. Keep them off your back and remember to not share anything personal with them. If you can, keep them out of your life totally. It's important to work on yourself. First step is to not blame, take your own responsibility for your self esteem, your feelings and your life.
I cant be responsible if I didn't know what was going on and wtfff until that thing was gone and out of my life... I found out what I was dealing with because it was all mind fu*king and hypnotic I had to step back so now I take responsibility for my actions.
I only take responsibility for 1/2! My half. I let them use me over and over and treat me like shit before I realized what was going on and had been going on for years and years. I take full responsibility for letting that happen. I blame the narcissist for their 1/2!
How about genuine compliments these also trigger their pathology. They look at you like you are insulting them.
Lol.
I noticed that😒
Getting a compliment from the X narc was far and few between
You gotta have a strong sense of self value, self worth cuz they constantly pull you down.
Every time I came up for air he was always pushing my head underwater figuratively speaking.
They can’t detect sincerity or authenticity bcuz it’s foreign to them, they can only mimic or fake it
Where do you find all these narcissists that you know so much about?
yes - its an ongoing mission ........and thank you for being here helping me walk this maze called life.......love watching you. Thank you.
The most surprising thing for my narc piece of work was the discovery that he didn't matter for me any more, I don't need his attention,I'm not keen on talking to him.It was about 1 month after he broke up with me( I was relieved as I'd planned to do it myself anyway).I suppose he expected me to love him until the end of my life LOL.
Right on I told him i dont want you dube just my money gessh ..he still trying to play games
It is the most horrific thing when a Narc is intoxicated on the weekend, and tells you to get the F out, because you refuse to give back the bank card that was relinquished, by the N, before the weekend, to avoid buying more alcohol. Doesn’t display any concern as you’re leaving the house. On Monday it’s back to the “I love you” before work, and in the evening”,,, “Can I get you a bowl of food, in the most sweetest tone. Cycle all over again. BTW,Thank you for your videos
There was a discussion (again) about the tendencies my Narc has, and all the problems it has caused. I was told, Narcs words, “ I will not drink anymore”. I have been enduring 6 years, and now finally says to me, “no more drinking”. Giving up the drinking tendency Narc has had since 1900’s?
I had one of those they are cowards n bullies 🙁🙁🙁
It’s the alcohol and that plus narcissistic divorce
When I said, “I’m happier without you,” that surprised, and visibly hurt, her.
YES! They totally go “full metal jacket!” 😂
"It's all about me! "I am blameless!" etc.
YES you perfectly described the former narc of my life.
To me this is one of the most helpful videos on Narcissists.
Rebecca, the people who really need your help are the Lawyers.
Yes huge narcs lawyers really are. Their is no such thing as honest corporate lawyer.
6 lawyers on 1 case, 2 in dual roles Trust/Beneficiary. They are all Stalling $$$.
Now get this..... the Judge said, "The lawyers are not the problem."
Judges and guardian as litems. They are all clueless amd able to get duped. Only ONE JUDGE SAW THIS ! even the family counselors are a joke. They can’t see past their noses. And when I tell them what I’m dealing with he makes me look bad. Honestly- our youngest will be 18 in 3 years . That’s my only hope now. After the one judge it’s been terrible. We divorced in 2005! He drags me to court ever since then I have a 5 or 6 inch binder that’s official docs only. His mom used almost all of her retirement for him against me. He just recently was divorced from his wife amd all through their marriage he was still harassing me. Tore our children apart and one doesn’t ’t speak to him and two don’t speak to me and the youngest is in the family counseling that’s a joke because she doesn’t want to go there. It’s hell! It’s hell!! Sadly my only hope is adulthood for our girl. He manipulated one by saying he was dying and wanted her to live him for the rest of his days
Yes I'm here and ready to turn the tables on the narcissist
If I don’t respond to a text message within seconds, or I wait more than 30 minutes to respond, I hear “what’s wrong with you?”. “What have you been up to?” Or “why have you been ignoring me?” But if he doesn’t respond to mine for 30 minutes or so, I’ve been busy or with friends.
Thank you from my heart 💖 You have helped me so much...finding you is helping me get through my divorce ☺️
Another amazing teacher ~ You might have already watched with Rebecca Zung ~ is Dr Ramani❣️❣️❣️
"Figuring them out". Yes. This.
Thanks so much for this spot on video! I believe that covert narcissists are equally malignant to overt narcs. Moreover, whether someone is covert or overt often depends upon the circumstances rather than that they are fundamentally one over the over. Most I have met would be overt if they had enough external power in the world.
That we didn’t remain one big and happy family when he left and filed for divorce. That surprised him and only him.
YES! Some time ago, it was September, on my birthday, and I was having pizza at a pizza hut. The waitress their, who's name was REBECCA seemed a bit distraught. I asked her what was wrong, and she described some unpleasant conduct towards her from her boss. I told her to think of herself as a ship of her choosing, a battleship or luxury liner ( I am thinking it was the latter as she was a sweetie ) and that the water is like her workplace. ' Don't let the water into the boat ' was the meta4 I prompted her to think of. Sounds like a theme you discuss here. Like Robert Plant sang on the 3rd Led Zeppelin album : ' The greatest thing you ever can do now is share a smile with someone who's blue now '. Bless you Rebecca!
This is so sweet. I recently had a dream about waiters and waitresses in a pizza hut. I dont often remember my dreams or eat at pizza hut. True story. Im reading your message to Rebecca, and I will use this metaphor. Thank you. Nothing is an accident. God bless you kind soul
This was excellent. You described the narc friend I had in my life to a T & the empath in me. Just amazing. I wish I would’ve found this video ten years ago. Yet better now than never for sure!!
I brought flowers once and she cause so much drama as if I did something wrong. So crazy, so confusing so much mental anguish I inflicted on me.
This is what I'm dealing with now. He now knows my boundaries and I'm not dealing with his poor behavior any longer. I figured this one out and I know its time to go. He is not going to change so no need for me to stick this marriage out.
Each day I get closer to my freedom! I'm so excited for a future without him in it.
Ladies/men please listen to that voice or nudge before marrying these people. It is a waste of time and mental health!
Yes, constant masters of mindlessness.
I'm being respectful of what comprises an innerself 🙏
I had to file an order of protection because he was becoming more controlling and getting up in my face. I guess that that is a form of no contact.
WOOHOO thank you I stood up to my “MALIGNANT”!👍
I'm here, thank you so much Rebecca!! And you are drop dead gorgeous inside and out!
Deny them Narcissistic Supply "out of the blue".
This vid is very good Rebecca. I'm going to save it to my "watch again" list.
I've also found that they get jealous if you "tell them how well you're doing".
Yes. She knew I was generous, still am, but both my ex's used it so horribly. 1st ex waited right until I filed against soon-to-be 2nd ex wife to start threatening me if I got off disability and tried to be self-employed...demanded my address so she could serve me to get full custody, because she knew I wanted out of the 2nd toxic marriage because I wasn't "being allowed" to love my kids...its a nightmare.
Yes! It was the "narc panic" video that I saw first, that's the one that saved me but I didn't have a phone at the time so I could like and subscribe at the time; got my own phone now! 1st one in six years!! Thank you, again, Rebecca, you're awesomesauce!
Everything what you mentioned is absolutely right. I went through similar experience with this narc. Thanks
Thanks. Just going through it with family and in-laws. My wife and I will never belong in their mutual admiration society...Poor us...We're free from a family that was never there.
Yes no contact has been hard. I had to put distance to the tune of 3000 miles. He wouldn't have sense enough to buy a plane ticket even if he knew where I was. Then there is the new supply . I've been no contact 35 days a I inflicted a severe injury before no contact. I'm not afraid of him nor do I have a problem calling him out from his bullshit which I also did before no contact. Day by day I'm getting better.
Thanks for the advice on shifting the dynamic and standing for myself in front of this narc.
So delighted to listen to your spot on analytics! I’m getting ready to discard someone I’ve been sucked into his web and cutting all monies to him dispute his constant I ‘m coming off drugs and can’t deal with his mother’s death 2 years ago. Thought I could help and thousands later freeing myself .He’s texting and starving ! Thank you Billy Palm Bch Fl
I think no-contact the sooner the better. I wasted away so many hours factoring trinomials!! Thank you, Rebecca Zung for your channel. 🙃🙂❤️ Hallelujah
I'm here! Listening to as many as i can👍🏼💯💯 Soooo helpful & supportive!🤗💪🏼🌺SLAY!!!
Yes, I agree with you! You are so right!
My narcissist spouse constantly tells me he's not going to pay me more than an amount he decided is enough and it's not enough, it's not even what I've been quoted I'm entitled to from a couple divorce attorneys
But they sort of almost defend him when I told these attorneys my husband is a narcissist, they almost defend him, they definitely almost don't want to talk to me
So 12 of the 14 years we've been married, I've been trying to get out with no support from family, because I have none, and no friends, because they all faded away from my life, especially when I've told them I'm married to a narcissist!
Thanks, woman. You always keep it thorough and authentic full of the most important content and then some.. Your great at doing what you do!
~Maggie B.
I know you meant this as a compliment to Ms. Zung, but it made me cringe. , My narcissist called me woman as a means of trying to degrade me and put me in my place. I don’t think I ever want to be referred to a woman again, except as a gender.
If you stand up to them, they feed off of that. What surprises a narcissist is when you don't leave them any way out of a situation. No warning. Don't tell anyone what you are going to do. You have to hurt yourself to really hurt them.
Amazing advice as always Rebecca! U nailed it on the head....including mine & how terrible feel for letting this other person continue so long with their false sincere acts of giving & kindness. Those gestures were all so they got exactly what they wanted & or needed, not done for my benefit whatsoever. Now it's so obvious...why didn't I follow my intuition sooner, I don't know.
Yesssa my husband whom I am divorcing he refuses 2 change. He can't. I'm good with that now too 11 yrs tho . Thia is him 100%
I empathize. Mine is still lying, manipulating, smearing and alienating. He doesn’t take accountability for the destruction he’s left behind.
@@ceecee6378 yes all the d's devalue disrespect disregard dismiss deflect Deny discard. Pathological lying all day n night. Steals. Selfish in bedroom all about him we don't sleep together I stopped yrs ago. Blames gaslighting all time throws kids under the bus will not take responsibility at all pays no Bill's alcoholic addict etc. I'm so DONE OVER IT MY HEALTH has declined so bad I was In the BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE until I met him in he was hurt as a kid neglected s.abuse he is entitled he lies 2 his therapist don't do h.w I'm here if u ever want 2 talk we all needs support. So much more . Hugs xoxox
tracey zottarelli Hugs Tracey!! I’m not doing well myself. We were together for almost 30 yrs and have 3 kids. I’m definitely struggling. The chaos is just too much sometimes. And I’m trauma squared (family of origin too) I’m in Rebecca’s private Facebook group also. I definitely need help with communicating with this kind of personality disorder. It’s the “other pandemic” for sure like she says.
Yes am ready to turn the table.
Wow!! Just started watching your video from yesterday. It’s very very peaceful and lightning. Panacea for everyone who are dealing with pathological character. Love and respect ✊🏻
YES!!! Excellent as usual. Mine narc was expelled from the house! For abuse od confidence and triangulation. He was shocked!!
So, back on 18 Mar (before watching all the videos out there - yours and Dr. Ramani's), I believe I shocked my wife by pointing out I think she's a narcissist. She had therapy that day (was originally couples counseling, but turned into solo sessions). The next day she left and went no contact. I found out she's telling people I'm a Covert Narcissist, and when I looked it up, I thought I might be. She'd been planning this for awhile, since she also took the taxes and several personal items. I think she got the counselor wrapped up in her story and convinced people I'm the bad guy. After 6+ weeks of NC, I actually need to thank her for giving me the time to recover and self-reflect. I've been back to church and weekly therapy sessions. It almost feels liberating. Of course I think she will be surprised again at the end of the week when the divorce papers are served. I think she feels she's still in control. My worst fear is that after the papers are served, she will contact me again and try some tactics or go full smear campaign.
It was only as hard as i inflicked upon me. Then i decided to celebrate and love and live and forgive and moved on.
Love your stuff. Im the baby of 5 girls, 12 years younger than the rest. The one who was the baby before I came along is the narcissist. Long story short...(there are tons) I've her watched throw people away all my life. Was scared of her cuz of this. Finally I stood up to her. She has lied to my other sisters (told them im drinking again) simply not so, the 24th I'll have 10 years. She Called Board of Nursing (she told me when she was telling me how "drama" I am... Im like WTH...shes got nothing, we don't realĺy talk. She lives in another state. She did NOT get a rise from me. Ive done nothing wrong, have nothing to hide. Heres what gets me... she told me (to upset me) the day before my daughters wedding! It killed her I looked non phased. No way would I let her drama spoil my daughters special day. I got her figured out but no one else does. She's gotten my family to turn on me and when I attempt to talk to them they reject me saying I'm starting drama. Ya know I'm the baby by 12 years and I know nothing! I'm gonna lose my family Im afraid (not my daughter) I hate it, she's manipulated them and has fir years and they treat me poorly. Im just wanna scream..."will you open your eyes" Shes not in my life but hurting me through my family. Sick and evil bitch!
Note to ad... when I've attempted to share these crazy over the top stories...they think I'm drama when I'm speaking the truth.
All of these do work....everytime.
Thank you Rebecca, I found your video very helpful. I am in a constant war with an extremely malignant covert narcissist. They can be defeated, but never underestimate them for the power of great evil is in them. The one that lives with me absolutely refuses to leave, he is still trying to destroy me even though he knows I know. He is always at his work. He is a very powerful covert narc and has decieved many people. The way I deal with him is make sure I say genuine prayers almost every day, read or listen to the Holy Bible every day and make a huge effort everyday to be sincere, pure, righteous, and holy. If I slack off then it seems that the powers of darkness get the upper hand and I start feeling terrible and trapped and hopeless and even wishing for death. So then this Narc is trying literally to destroy me, he shows no signs of relenting and that's because he has a cold heart with no love. I have stood up to him many times, but he never gives up. That's why I know in my heart only God can deliver me now. I live with my ex-wife and care for her because she has many health problems, one of the reasons he keeps winning is through her because she still does not realize how evil he is and just thinks he is a nice man. He has us completely isolated even from the police, courts or any in authority because he has the upper hand, I have no evidence to show to others how evil he is. He is a street angle and home devil, but my ex-wife still can not see that. Thank you for your video.
Same situation. Unfortunately, vampires can’t come in your home unless u invite them. After that u have to move out and that’s wat I did. But the consequences are financially draining but safety first and they are out for your throat. I believe was even drugged to shut me up and out of the way in my own home. This is someone I invited as a house guest.
I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I cannot leave my home because I take care of my disabled/unwell ex-wife. I really do not know what to do except trust God that he will deliver both me and my ex-wife. It is so sad that my ex-wife has been totally blinded by the covert narcs lies and I have to put up with him refusing to leave my home. I tried to retaliate in the past and it eventually ended up the police told me that I would go to jail but the Narc would be free. I do not know what he told the police, they have been around at least four times. Basically until God delivers us, we are trapped in the power of the evil narc, he is an extremely skilled in deciet covert narcissist. God will deliver me one day. Thank you for your message.
Yes, you are talking about my one department supervisor. She loves to micromanage and threaten with disciplinary action. She on a complete power trip. That's why she doesn't want to retire because she will lose having power and authority.
Narcs have to Hurt 1st so they don't get Hurt - Good Video Rebecca
Keep up the great work of informing the world on these types on individuals! We appreciate you!
Yes!! So much truth and realisation in what you're saying!
YES!
I'm genuinely kind - yeah, they don't get it. Neither did I - my kindness has been to my detriment.
What surprises the narcs who have taken advantage of me they are surprised that I take them to court and win. I have a small claims pending and an elder abuse hearing in a few days - she did not see that coming. I'm nervous of course.
Yes, mine too. Was very surprised!
YES! And it's sad...
I really want to leave this narc but the fear of taking away my kids ooooh God
i know a way
busingye jenet .... document and record! Good luck!
trust god！this is the only way to get out his net!!
@@qianxu6689 thanx so much
I cannot leave. I must endure, and learn more about how to maneuver through this toxic trash. These ladies that have provided these videos are my heroes. I would’ve never learned what NPD or Narcissistic tendencies were, if it weren’t for them.
How can I get what I want, sense of entitlement, rules don't apply to me, temper tantrums when confronted, lack of empathy . What threw me was figuring out that there is covert narcissism walking Among Us.
Yes I'm here!
I told my bully I would tell my family about his behavior, and he was so shocked, he threatened to report me to the police for “harassing” him which was really retaliation to his calling me out of my name.
LOL - mine too. The server swerved the documents on him just before he left the house for the airport one Sunday afternoon (kids and I had left to see film 20 m earlier). He had no idea! I’d tried to talk to him. He walked away (increased business trips). I went and did therapy. He had no time for something so useless. If I challenged his behaviour, he shut me down. He called to make me feel ashamed of my manipulative behaviour 🤣. I asked him “are you saying you’re SURPRISED by what I’ve done?” Long pause. “Well, no. I’m just totally DISGUSTED by how you’ve gone about it!” Sure. Or maybe you’re super-pissed I got there first.
"#1: you also become ' defensive ' with kindness, for you've experienced how that was used against you... your # 2: stand up to them- well, that's when they transition into violent behavior to you. #3: " no contact ": well , if you're in a combined business/family environment, -like farming- that creates a challenge, for decisions have to be made, of which require communication , THEY will do noncomunication, for that's their " leverage " ..a tool of " crazy making " to trigger your PTSD.
Yes you are so on point
When I first started dating my x-wife before we were talking about getting married i remember her asking me who i would rescue first if our car ever crashed into water. We had no kids together but she asked me if i would rescue her first or my 8 yr old daughter. I told her the goal is to get everyone out at the same time before the car goes down. She came across as being only concerned for herself, no concern at all for my daughter. That alone should had set a red flag for me but i just thought her question and reaction was odd and at that time i had no clue what a Narcissist was.
my situation is OVER dealt with mediation and I was smeared unbelievable during the entire mediation it was shocking the lies lies lies he said and how his story about me made me look! I lead lost for words! I settled to be DONE plus I added a NO CONTACT ORDER into my settlement! he did called not even a week later but was smart enough not to leave a voice message he has NOT called back since! I should be happy/relieved and looking towards the future my question is WHY is this moving forward effecting me so bad? I’m literally sick over it! my emotions are all over the place depression lots of anxiety it’s been unbelievable! 20 years is along time 😭 I think back over the years and everything I went through not all was bad but unhealthy dealing with a narcissist! It’s hard letting it sink in that a relationship with a narcissist is a COMPLETE LIE from the state! 20 years liesssssss as I get more and more educated about narcissistic (abuse) it just makes me sicker and sicker! when will I start feeling better why are my emotions so sad depressed filled with anxiety fear and about moving forward?!? 😭
20 years. Better than waiting 46 years like I have. Ruined my life.
Finally after my divorce I decided to move on with my life but of course I suffered from an anxiety disorder claustrophobia a lot of trouble sleeping my nerves were shot it takes a long time to heal and one of the things that you're probably looking for that you will never get from the narcissist is closure confirmation anything that any normal person would give you validation they do all this on purpose so you will never be able to move on but here's the thing the narcissist cannot internalize their emotions they will never move on either that's why they don't want you to move on
Got CPTSD and got narc that felt genuine love for real but no, more ptsd instead. Very very disconcerting but a lesson, but it shows that people are screwed up in a way that is not ok.
I send thank you cards ... my granddaughter learned from me.
My son (now) and the to be wife ( step mom) were telling my granddaughter there was no reason to do that ... They never have thanked me for any gifts ( since he has been with #2) of fact they have not given me gifts or cards... at all .
It is really a shame.
This is amazing information.
I actually see a way out for me. *sigh of relief
Yes, mine is my 90 yr. Old mother. She drove my brother to take his life.
SO ready! 💪
Spot on. Yes
I put some boundaries in effect,she didnt like it. Tried to scare me with separation.
Here was always divorce divorce when don’t get what he wanted. Said I hav 2 options. He make me suffer or divorce. So bye bye lol. Always gone weeks or month n back at the door. Like nothing happened. They r psycho.
Holy cow. Learning so much.
Absolutely....Rebecca you have helped me soooo much.
Thank you 🙏
Just watched this for the 2nd time: it's good to be reminded of what the narc's are like...the xnarc in my life was secretive: never conversed so never told tall tales. Never told a truth, either, when asked about his day or what he'd been up to away from home in the years when I had no idea he was with other women. Now I think a good phrase for the yarn spinning narc might be: Is that true? Instead of our usual Is that right phrase. I think the word 'true' might rattle their chains a little - or a lot!
When you tell him it's amazing what a small world it is there's so many people that I know that you know that you don't know I know and then you start dropping names then you discard them immediately while their jaw is still on the ground from the first statement never in my life that I want to strangle somebody to death I thought of it I had to leave I think I would have