8 Signs Polyamory is for You
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- Do you wonder what it is like to be in a polyamorous relationship? Do you currently have an romantic interest in two or more people or thinking of getting into polyamorous dating? Well, congrats! You're not alone. Polyamory has come to be an umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. If you're wonder if you're a polyamorous, then this video might be for you. We share the 8 signs that maybe polyamory dating is not so bad. There's no agenda with this video. We just want to raise awareness on a topic that's hard to talk about.
#polyamory #polyamorousdating #psych2go
Sources for further readings:
The 4 Types of Polyamory-
• The 4 Types of Polyamory
What about Polyamory
• What About Polyamory?
Credits:
Writer: Lara Blackheart
Script Writer: Daniela
Animator: Naye Meneses
Editor: Steven Wu
Voice over: Lily Hu
Manager: Wendy Hu
Producer: Psych2Go
Want to support us on creating more content that are difficult to talk about? Consider becoming a brand ambassador by emailing us at editorial@psych2go.net with your social media handles.
Want to submit a story? Email us at editorial@psych2go.net
Happy Thursday everyone! How are you are doing? Psych2Go is on a mission to bring awareness to topics and issues that are less talked about. In this video, we cover polyamory, a term for being attracted or in a relationship with multiple people at once. Do you know someone like this? If so, consider sharing your experiences in the comment below. We'd love to hear your stories. As always, if you want to support us, you can do so by sharing our videos on your social media. Thank you!
Doing good 😀😀
@Caleb Pederson You're welcome. No need to thank us!
@@TopNaRajasaurus Nice! What are you studying?
Based on some of these comments you guys might wanna explore this topic and similar ones again in the future.
Not that good, I'm so bad at sharing my feelings and I'm always bottling this up. I can't help it
Keyword is Communication. Don’t use poly as an excuse to cheat on someone who you were never clear that you’d be dating multiple people.
yeah like proJared
Yess
Exactly. (if I ever find anyone who actually wants to be with me) If anyone says they like me and I'm already dating I'll call up my current partner and ask if they are okay with it and ask if the person who likes me is okay with it.
@@wonkusbonkus8528 YASS 👌👌👌, COMMUNICATION IS L I F EE
general viewer ruclips.net/video/CEqLhjKH8d4/видео.html
I can already tell this comment section is going to be hella divided
It hasn't yet! Our fans are too peaceful with one another! But we would love to invite debate and thoughts, especially personal experiences.
@@Psych2go Agreed, hopefully nothing hostile happens and everyone has calm, respectful and civil discussions on this very interesting (at least to me it's interesting) topic.
@@Psych2go Already said my opinion, and I really hope no one gets offended, sometimes I have a problem with phrasing certain things and it sucks. Unrelated note, High Anxiety, that is all.
@@EchthelionII Np! It's good to be blunt! :)
@@Psych2go Yeah, but even though I don't really care what people think I just hate offending people and hurting their feelings, I was raised with the saying "Treat others the way you want to be treated", so I do my best to do just that.
Relationships are way too complicated. I prefer singleamory .
lol. Nice term! We will make a t-shirt on this!
Thank you thats the only reason why im monogamus . More partner more drama.
@@Psych2go nice
agreeddddd. things are so much simpler when you are on your own💜
hah
I think if i were in a polyamorous relationship i would want my partners to love each other as well. Like seeing them in love with each other would make my heart warm
So true, like a close poly relationship ?
My wife loves seeing me happy with other people and I love seeing her be happy with other people as well.
A triad, I think that's what it's called, many poly people dream of that honestly
Yes! Seeing my partner and his girlfriend be happy makes me so happy.
That would make me so jealous tbh. I’m not poly, but I could handle being attracted to more than one person (even tho it gets complicated). But if someone that *I* loved did the same, I’d get jealous/hurt. Sticking to monamory/monogamy lol
I'm in a poly relationship. I prefer it much better than just being in a relationship. I feel happier and more comfortable with being open.
Is it alright that I could ask you questions, I'm quite interested with these types of relationships.
@@kibokiseki8143 Of course!
@@NicoleIsBored What's it like being in a poly relationship? Who is the dominant one, is there a disadvantage of it, is there advantage that poly has over a monogamous relationship, what type of relationship would you describe yours: polygamy, polyamory, or open and is there a difference between the three? (I sometimes heard that the three relationships are somewhat similar) Are you married? If so how would you describe the household? Can this type of relationship effect children in a bad way? Sorry so making it long. I'm just so interested.
@@kibokiseki8143 same questions...
I'm curious as well. Waiting for the reply 😁
My last relationship was a poly one and, while it is over now, it was the best relationship I've ever had. There was so much more freedom and trust than my previous monogamous relationship. Even though I'm a naturally jealous person, I didn't have to worry that anyone else my partner was with would replace me.
We broke up a few months ago on good terms and we're still very good friends.
Edit: Grammar
do you people still get together to bang tho?
@@oxze9015 No, we do not, we get together to write stories and talk about random internet bs lmao
That's good,
Ending on good terms is always the best way,
Pyroist I agree, although there are couples out there that are committed apart from when it comes to sex. Some work and some don’t.
@Pyroist "Broke up for a reason. This is why poly doesn't work." But I broke up with a number of people in monogamous relationships too? Does me breaking up with someone in a monogamous relationship mean monogamy doesn't work?
The open relationship I was in was the happiest relationship I've ever had, and the partner I think I had the best connection with, and loved the most out of any partner I've had, was the person I started an open relationship with. That's the one person I've met so far that I'll never entirely erase my feelings for, the one I'll always support and care for, the one I fell the most deeply in love with.
Different things work for different people, not everybody is the same as you.
I've been living non-monogamous relationships since 2013, it's really incredible.
How is it
@@Justme-rw3ws it is.. really incredible kkk. I don't necessarily have to out with other girls, but the freedom to do so is a reminder for us both that no one belongs to the other, as opposed to monogamy where it's common and very acceptable to feel like you own your partner so you can tell them what to do or don't.
Polygamy is so bad in general and bad for your health and much worse than monogamy.
Because:
Sure you GIVE good: Love for all, freedom, no jealousy (umm right), no clingyness, stuff like that.
But you also GIVE terrible: not ever giving full attention to anyone, making no one feel special, making a lover wait around while your in another location with another lover, etc etc. And that's just not good enough. Not loving / caring enough. Even if your lovers say it's fine its not fine, and you should actually want to give "best" to someone you love and not ever hurt them in any way even in a small way, not half good treatment, so. (Basically you're a worse lover than what a monogamist lover who willingly provides great treatment.)
How can you do that to your lover? It's bordering cruelty. Just No.
Polygamists love to brag alot how they think they're superior blah blah.. But. Really, Monogamy is the good treatment a lover deserves to receive from a caring loving lover...
Monogamy is just amazing and caring and healthy and the truly noble unselfish relationship style.
Because love isn't just love it's "treatment" too.
Polygamists say they're unselfish cause they share etc, BUT no, choosing many lovers for yourself and giving all of them just part time care and attention etc, that's not noble at all.
It's the most selfish.
It's like choosing many slices of delicious nice cakes and not finishing any / choosing many cute lovely nice little kittens and neglecting all of them. No no no. Selfless? No. How dare you be so selfish, uncaring, and horney.
That's sadistic narcissism hurtful selfishness. You are the worse ones, you really are.
Even if you can love many, which is easy and fun tbh, not some rare talent, decide to pick one to settle down with, so you can give all of you, (including TIME etc which is impossible for polygamists) to your chosen lover. Cause you want to cause you're in love and therefor you care deeply. Also never make her suppress / feel any sort of bad emotions like jealousy, left out, loneliness (It's natural tbh), forced to suppress competitive feelings, forced to smile through the bad side of polygamy and be a good unbothered unhurt polygamist. Ew.
Monogamy treatment is the most caring kind amazing unselfish noble thing to do in the end.
Hanna so now we know polygamy is not for you
You honestly didn’t need to do this we get that some people can’t be in a polygamous relationship but you just can’t get that
Plus I can see that you don’t know how it works either so do your research next time you decide to comment shit like that ok thanks
@@Strawberry143x just by saying "polygamy" I know you don't understand what you're talking about, Hanna. Sorry if someone hurt your feelings. Hope you find love!
the keyword is "Consensual".
Having an affair is nonconsensual, and you can not use polyamory as an excuse; Talk to your partner, don't just throw yourself out.
Always make sure your primary partner feels comfortable, and if your wants and needs don't line up with your partner, either end the relationship to find something new for you, or compromise so that you both can feel safe and satisfied.
edit:
Also make sure that the new person knows, otherwise they can end up feeling hurt.
This is one of the best comment for me.
@@maralinemanahan9012 Thank you :)
@@heddai2573 This video’s basis is that you COULD have good reasons for joining a literal Harem. But real life harems dont have reasons, so you cant have 8 of them.
Thank you!! Someone gets it.
@@neattrixproductions2289 No, he doesnt gets it cause Consent is not a magical force. So he does the opposite of getting it: He believes in the delusion that everything is ok if consent is there.
I respect the lifestyle but the relationship isn't for me. I would honestly play favorites and I don't believe that's fair for either party.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Justin! Have you personally experience this first hand?
They say if their are real feelings involved, there will always be favourites, and if everyone's seen as equal, there aren't real feelings, but mainly physical/sexual attraction
Exactly, many people would do the same even if they didn't mean to
@@zayasabrina I don't believe people are honest regarding this. I've known people whose parents clearly favor one child over another. Plus, with my experience with my own father, who never hesitates to tell anyone exactly what is on his mind or how he feels, I can say with certainty he favors me over my older sister. He has even flat out stated multiple times in the past, "If she wasn't my daughter I would never talk to her".
@@xiphopagus I'm really sorry for you! And I can agree with your statement, yes some people do favorise a person over another. But I think that when you're in a poly relationship, you learn that it doesn't matter which one is your favorite because you know you love each other without jealousy and that is enough. If you feel jealous, poly is probably not for you
Polyamory and Open Marriage/relationship are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT things
Yes thank you
What’s the difference?
@@quicksilver0294 closed polyamory is when you’re attached to 3 people at once and they date each other and you and you all equally love each other.
Open marriage is basically like you’re allowed to whore around BUT in your heart you’re ALWAYS with that one special person. This is both ways, both sides of the party have to be okay with it
Polyamory simple means multiple partners, which can take many forms from Open Relationships to Multiple Wives/Husbands. When you say, "polyamory" you will have to define it further for specifics.
All open relationships are polyamorous but not all polyamory is an open relationship.
Relationships are fun but communication is key. You can have polyamorous relationship with friends without it being romantic. I can only be romantic and monogamous to one person at a time.
I've thought I'm poly for a while but I get jealous really easily...
EDIT: So I know I said that I thought that I'm polyamorous, and it turns out after 7 months of experimenting that... well, I am. I presently have two partners, who each know about each other and who themselves have their own network and I'm... surprisingly okay with that. I'm still very clingy, but I've gotten over my jealousy. Thanks for all the support, and special _special_ thanks to the peeps who chimed in. I love you all!
Same!
Has anyone else experienced this? Feel free to leave your experiences.
Hello! Poly person here. Jealousy is normal. Even polyamorous people feel jealous. What's important is communication. Talking to your partners about your jealousy and why you're feeling it and figuring out how to relieve it is important! For instance, I get jealous when I don't know the partners metamours, so I talked to them about it and and met them and now feel comfortable with them. It's all about what works for you and your partners.
@@softghxst Really? Wow, thank you so much! I guess... I mean, I'd be open to trying it. My issue though (entirely personal here) is that I'm pretty clingy. Have you gone through something like that? If so, how did you manage it? I really want to work on it more.
@@steele_heart77 jealousy will probably always exist. You just have to have this feeling that, no matter what happens. You want them to be happy. Another way to think of it is that there are some needs you can't help your partner with and there are some needs your partner can't help you with that maybe another can. It's really team (work) centered, you make your own community. Polyamory isn't for everyone- in the end, you know yourself best. Just know that it can work
If i was in a polyamorous relationship i would make sure no one is left out, i have way too much love to give
Awww
Sweetest comment ever
Yes! The whole point I'm in a poly relationship:)
Awww!! Same :)
Yes! Feeling this so much!!
That awkward moment when you've been thinking about wether or not you should ask two people out in a poly way and this gets uploaded
I would strongly advise you talk to both privately and find out what their opinions are before asking them out. Just a heads up! Strictly monogamous people may get really offended to be asked out polyamorously 😕
Sporktilty
Ikr!!
@@pauliejomama5381 i did and turns out they're both poly.
Still haven't gathered me courage but still-
@@urmum2285 oh that's wonderful! I really hope it works out for you 😊 everyone deserves to find a relationship that suits them 💞
Good luck!
For me, I don't believe it's possible. But I respect other people who can make it work, even if I can't understand it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. How does other feel about this? Can you make polyamory work for you?
@@Psych2go I want to try it , I just dont want to be a sister wife in the religious sense, I believe the mormons? Whatever where you marry one man who loves others but you have to be with one man, I want to be in a relationship with all, not just one who sees others. Idk if that makes sense, does it?
@@Psych2go I don't think I could ever do(?) (Is that the right way to put it? Hmmmm, oh well) polygamy, I haven't even been in a relationship yet, I just don't think it would work, it also just feels weird.
@@Psych2go I believe that it would be an experience to go through that may be needed for some. The point about it being able to help other get through their negative emotions, such as jealousy is a very valid and completely fair point. I believe that people would need to be more open minded, and letting it spread with the idea of polygamy would allow people to experience another perspective. Say someone doesn't want to try it simply because the idea is foreign to them, than they miss out on an experience that could very well have changed their life for the better. Meanwhile if they go through with it and learn that it's really not for them after they understand it. That would mean that those people are closer to understanding each other, and that could be one more step in the right direction of everyone being a far better united civilization or even species.
So I'd say go for it everyone! Try it once! Learn from experiences out of your normal bubble!
I like that u understand u don’t understand it, and u still respect if. I’m not Poly, but it’s cool that u have that respect
Poly ain’t for me. I don’t like sharing
What would you do in the case, that you are yourself polyamorous? Perhaps, a time comes when you love two or more individuals at once?
I don’t really have a good experience with poly. I’m a lesbian, and I had a partner. She constantly told me about crushes she had on other boys. I liked her a lot so I just swallowed my pride a bit. I tried explaining to her how I didn’t feel comfortable, and she started to accuse me of being poly-phobic (this was the first time she even mentioned the word poly to me). Next morning I got a call from her angrily demanding that I would be a part of a poly relationship with her and two of her male crushes. I tried explaining how I wasn’t comfortable being in a relationship like that with two males, and after a bit of back and forth, I broke up with her. I know not all polyamorous people are like that, but it just instinctively leaves a bad taste in my mouth remembering that incident.
@@Psych2go Even less sharing? Yes!
@@4biddenPoison Thank you for sharing your story. This will help those who may be in similar shoes take a step towards what they feel is comfortable for them too. We definitely each have our own preference and it's harder when we're on the receiving end. Thanks again for opening up about this to our community. Are you now currently in a new relationship?
Same, I just want one or one not a battle royal in a relationship
I feel that trying a poly relationship would be good, but I have problems with feeling like I’m less important or that I’m either left out or that I’m leaving someone out. I just worry that it’ll end poorly for me.
Same here. I feel like my partner would just ditch me for the other person. I would feel left out...
I think you should think about why you would want to restrict someone so that you could hopefully remain in a relationship. I think polyamory is the recognition that someone else's happiness can be just as valuable as your own and that if your partner leaves you, it will be for the sake of their happiness.
So don't have your happiness depend entirely on a single relationship and also feel happy for others when they're happy.
You’ll do great, I have faith in you ❤️
Yikes.
I thought that too before I got into a poly relationship and for me I felt so much more loved!
I dated a poly girl and it gave me unending anxiety. Never again.
Edit: Guys, I wasn't saying it was her fault. Not at all. I don't know where you got that from. She's a good person and were still friends, actually.
I see. What was the trigger to your anxiety?
@@Psych2go I was constantly questioning myself. I was paranoid that she had liked the other person more and I was getting in the way of them. I tried to break those thoughts but I couldn't. It was healthier just to end it.
@@Psych2go Evolution. Emotions are evolutionarily selected traits.
That doesn't really seem like her fault lmao
What’s wrong with Polynesian girls?
I'm not against it.. ppl need to do what make them happy. Long as your open and honest about it.
Indeed. Do you consider yourself open minded?
@@Psych2go good question.. I am
Yes! People happy and healthy?
Check.
The end of me thinking I need to be in their business.
That’s cool but why is it fine for a western person to have multiple partners but when a Muslim man has 4 wives it’s oh so bÅD!1!1!1! Smh
Lôps I think there may be a stereotype about muslim women being opressed by the men in the culture.
Don’t shoot the mailman please, I’m just saying what I’ve heard, not my own opinion.
I’m an introvert, so just hearing the word “poly” gives me headaches.
I am too, and I love my wife and girlfriend.
tf broo
that has nothing to do with it
I am poly and an introvert
lol
“Does diving into experience with people outside of your primary relationship, nurture, energize, and refresh you?”
Haha *_n o_*
You'll be fine lol
@Alizay Hassan _what._
Been in 2 poly relationships! I must say it’s much easier to open a relationship when your partners are lgbt. I simply asked my girlfriend if she was completely monogamous to try and open it up, and she said she would actually rather be in a poly relationship! We are all very open with each other and trust is our NUMBER ONE go to. We tell each other who we’re dating, we let them see eachother.
Of course poly is NOT!! For everyone, if you get jealous easily? Don’t. Don’t try to fix monogamous relationships by making it open. It’s like riding a unicycle because you can’t ride a bike.
For me? It works, I’m very happy and so are my two partners. For others? It might not, and that’s okay! Don’t try to force yourself into a poly relationship if you don’t feel like you can take it.
Don’t let others force you what to do, do what feels right to you and what you love, just don’t hurt others ^^.
Why can’t we give multiple likes?! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
As long as there is honesty there should not be problems in a poly relationship. At least that is what I think so.
Yes. I agree!
Facts! I was also in a polyamorous relationship which ended not too long ago. But I can say that I felt very free to express myself compared to when I was only with one person. It’s not for everyone, but for those of us who have lived, or are living this way, it’s amazing!
better replace that pfp and name with “Rogelio” from She-ra
I've been in a open relationship for four years and we're as happy as we could be.
What challenges did you face along the way and how did you problem solve them?
So what ended it?
Congrats!
A lot of polyamorous people find it offencive to be compared to open relationships 😅 apparently they go against everything polyamory is originally meant for (love, not fuck buddies?)
Right. Two different types of relationship. @@pauliejomama5381
I can barely hold down a friendship with one person wachu talkin bout
Im poly but I only have 1 partner
YO SAME
Honestly, I’m asexual, don’t have a partner and I’m good with both poly relationships and monogamous...I’ve never been in a poly relationship as my school is either very gay, or very anti-gay. So it’s hard to tell if someone is true to their words or not. I can barely hold one person to me...so I guess I’ll just have to wait😔
Before I was in a relationship, i thought for sure that I was poly. But when I got with my girlfriend, I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else - I realised she was the only partner i wanted.
It's just hard to put a lot of deep feelings to someone you know as poly. You will maybe feel the spark but you will not put much effort to a poly relationship. It's simple to let go of the things you didn't work hard to care and maintain it but in other way around if you work hard to earn something, it's not easy for a human to hand it or share it to others.
I would say poly relationship requires less effort, less attachment, less romantic feelings, less care, less time for all of the partners because they can also find that to others. You don't need to work hard so a poly relationship to work out that's why some prefer it because it's not complicated to maintain like for friendship you can still be friends even you have another friends. Monogamy is much more complicated For me because you will have more anxiety, you will be deeply attach , all your decisions should be based on the relationship, you will feel so vulnerable, you need to discipline yourself not to act unto your emotions because you still attracted to other people but you just keep choosing your partner, being exclusive is hard to maintain but what is good about monogamy is you make someone feel they are the best even its obvious they are not the best. You make someone feel that whatever you do and make they are a big part of it. Monogamy for me is so Fucking hard but it's 100% worth it.
@@maralinemanahan9012 As a someone who is solo poly I highly disagree. The more connections you form, the more effort you put in: transparency, communication, honesty, consent are must haves. I do check ins every week with my partners to make sure all our boundaries are being respected and that we’re all on the same page.
@@JinjiSayson sounds wack to me. I would never be ok with it
@@lillemon7633 no, we are not afraid of commitment. i am polyamorous and would prefer to be in a polyam relationship, but if my partner would express that they are uncomfortable with me dating others, i would not.
it is not an excuse to cheat and its not fear of commitment, but rather we understand that there doesn't have to be just one person you share your life with.
THATS BEAUTIFUL.
MONO IS BEAUTIFUL AND TRUEST DEEPEST REAL IN-LOVE LOVE.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
Well, now I know...
Polyamory is just... not for me. No shade! I just know for a fact that I can't do it. To those who can:
Much love, and power to you!
What happens when you find that you yourself are polyamorous?
Same here. There more cons than pros to it
@@spudosjkl717 I think that depends on your own nature, not universally.
if i cant handle having many friends, multiple partners would definitely not work
im fine with one ^-^
Hey, and I couldn't do monogamy. More power to you as well.
As someone who is polly, let me tell you
ITS SO HARD TO FIND OTHER POLY PEOPLE ;-;
Edit: okay one, holy shit hi guys and two, why are we arguing over a PFP? You that butthurt hun? Lmao seriously, why does it matter? Anyway, its cool seeing so many other poly folks!
they never said they were in a relationship
@@j4ckem gacha or not, plus they didn't say they were in a relationship. Also even if someone plays gacha or has a gacha pfp dosen't mean they are a kid, I know gacha users who are over 20, It's never good to make assumptions.
@Ichigo_Miruku _ same
Aren’t 83% of societies allowing polygamy? It shouldn’t be that hard then. 😉
It is
I thought about polyamory a lot the last couple of years, because I fell in love with a few people. So I started thinking about the concept and I would try if I could (even though I don't know if I could handle my selfesteem issues in that case, but I would try), but my current boyfriend isn't open for that because he got betrayed in abusive ways in more than half of his relationships. But that's okay, I can understand and accept that.
But something more interesting: My social worker had a polamory relationship that went 18 years! And they didn't broke up because of that, one of them just thought that it didn't fit anymore (she had another boyfriend too, but that wasn't important in that situation). When he was with "only" one girlfriend she asked him to be monogamous from that moment and that was okay too, they also broke up because of something else. :)
And he is now like 60 years old and I never expected him to be a person that has so interesting perspectives to the world and such interesting stories! The best social worker I could ever have, that understands me so well! :)
this is clearly made up, it's too perfect to be true
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all if them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
Poor fucking dude, hope he's in a better place now (not with you)
Me watching this already having two beautiful Partners: 👁👄👁
Edit: Actually, Make that one ✌️ but I love him a lot 💕💕💕
I'm doing the same 👁️👄👁️
i- s a m e 👁👄👁
Which are their partners too right? Or do they have their own seperate partners outside of what you have?
@@TheChaosWithin every relationship will have boundaries.
Mus be nice
I can’t imagine myself being with someone then flirting with someone else 🤷🏾♀️.
If ur polyamorous I totally respect u but I think it’s best to tell your partner in the beginning of the relationship
sameee omg im too clingy
True, I think that telling your partner that they’re not enough for you and you need someone else to feel happy is nice. Actually... sounds more like a selfish act done by someone who is insecure in their own individuality and needs affirmation from multiple people to feel comfortable... even if my partner doesn’t fulfill all my needs, I’m strong enough alone to admit that and fill in the gaps.
Nick O’Teen Not how polyamory works. Being in love with more than one person is in no way insinuating that the other “isn’t enough.” I didn’t fall in love with and start dating my second boyfriend because my first “wasn’t enough.” I just naturally fell in love and followed my heart, and that did not influence my feelings for my first boyfriend in the slightest. I love him exactly the same as I did before, I just also simultaneously love someone else romantically now, and both of them are 100% okay with our dynamic. Try calling parents with multiple children selfish for their firstborn “not being enough,” see how they respond.
@dumb dunce polyamorous can cheat in a same way, and in most cases that's what they do
@@maebroski4415 to be fair people, in psychology, it is stated that people will look for partners to fulfill needs and wants that were not fulfilled in childhood or they will repeat patterns/avoid certain things all based off of childhood. If you directly translate that into poly, then yes, you probably subconsciously feel as though your partner is lacking in something (if you tell me otherwise, you’re just greedy. If you have everything you need and still want more Thats greed) or you’re afraid of being abandoned so having more partners means that while yes you’ll experience more emotional break ups you’ll always or at least are a lot more guaranteed a back up in a poly relationship so it hurts a lot less and you spend less alone time than a breakup in a mono relationship (the trade off is that if your other two partners break up with you then you just got double ditched). The only other reason I could see desiring someone else if your needs truly are met is that, that desire is a want, not a need OR you have issues with committing to something you’re passionate about or commitment in general which again could stem from your childhood (could also just be that you want to have fun AND keep your partner around but having to deal with a third or even fourth persons needs, emotions, etc sounds like too much of a hassle rather than just agreeing to allow casual sex or shit from time to time and agreeing to have a quasi monogamous relationship. Thats just my opinion though)
I have never had a relationship but I constantly dream about having more than 1 partner so I always ask myself if I am poly or not... a long time ago (when i was teen) i watched a documentary on polys and i saw nothing wrong with it.
Do whatever makes you happy 💜
i would like to meet you..
I feel the same way, nice to know I'm not the only one 😁
Mood
Same for me, except that I'm in a monogamous relationship right now
Though I, myself, am a non-monogamous person, I’d disagree with the “fear of jealousy” argument. The feelings monogamists have, just like those of polyamorous folks, are completely valid. Polyamory is not some “love boot camp” that is set up to help monogamous people better people or something by learning to neglect their own preferences. Polyamory is for people that already are emotionally and mentally equipped for such a lifestyle while monogamy is for those who are equipped for that one.
thank you
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
Jesus Christ thanks.
I'm tired of being judged by polyamorous people by being called insecure just because I don't want to share my partner (whom I know for 14 years) with anyone else.
It's a preference.
Yeah I hate within poly talk it’s like the other side is wrong and needs correcting. That’s problematic within itself to think this way
Yessss this!! There rly needs to be more mutual respect between the 2 parties. Neither is better than the other, sometimes being poly or mono is a tendency we're born with, or one that our culture ingrained in us.
Being poly or mono is a spectrum, just like being emotional/logical is a spectrum for diff ppl. Ofc ppl on one end of the spectrum might think that's the only legit, right way to do things and try to lowkey coerce others into their "religion", but that's very disrespectful to other ppl's opinions and feelings which are also valid.
I'm in a poly long distance relationship with two amazing girls, however i have to keep it a secret from my family since they see it as wrong. Quite ironic, considering both my father and my brothers have all been cheating on their wives consistently for years. I guess having multiple partners is only wrong when women do it.
That seems to be how a lot of unsupportive people think and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm not sure if my mom is supportive but I know my grandparents think it's "strange" and it's kinda sad
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
@@Strawberry143x Ok boomer lmao
"You must take the log out of your eye before you can remove the speck from your brother's" it sounds like the men in your family all have logs in their eyes.
@@geministrial950 "ok coomer" name calling isn't a real argument.
Ive been in two poly relationships one ended good and the other not so much it really depends on who its with
What were the key differences between the two types of relationships?
yeah it depends on if the people can comunicate or not
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all of them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
ME: has 3 crushes in middle school
Also ME: Polyamory is right for me
I had like 7 bro get on my level-
(im sorry)
bro same,,,
@@ratboy2 last year I had 9 you better square up
@@rainadatkween7959 daaaaaaamn...
yanno i think a lot of my middle school crushes were just me mixing up attractions tbh?? like, i thought that i was into most of my friends. but looking back now i just couldn't tell whether my feelings were romantic or platonic. That's a bunch of crushes tho buddy gg
I had 0 💅💅💅
Mate, Im a poly person butttttt the way it is described in this video- I get why people are so grossed out. This is really innacurate. There is a difference between an open relationship and a poly one and they are jumbled into an awkward mix mash of false claims
Now I'm interested, can you elaborate?
Explain please
Could you explain please?
.
Oh whats the difference! Im honestly asking cuz i thought they were the same or at least pretty similar.
I've been wanting a poly relationship for a few years now. I found someone, a partner, I love absolutely and who is open to the idea and we've experimented a bit but I've embraced it's a slow burn.
To me, the concept of having more than one romantic/intimate/sexual partner is no different from having many friends or many family members. My love for one friend or family member can never outweigh my love for another, if I actually love them. I do prioritize some people over others based on context, mood, time, space and energy, but I never rank people. I enjoy sharing with others openly and having great intellectual conversations about honesty and ethics and flexibility.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you loce all if them all you want BUT time and attention is limited so do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And uf you really really love tgat person you CAN choose and want to choise to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and bond. Never feel left out.
@Hanna ironically there had been a study conducted that concluded that not every relationship is healthy when the two people don't give each other some space, and instead spend all their free time in each other's faces.
While I respect those who remain monogamous, poly relationships that are done right deserve the same basic respect IMO. Most people who are poly will not force someone like you to join them, nor will they call that's secretly stepping out as anything other than your basic cheater.
My fiance knows that I'm poly and bisexual because I was open and honest with her. I just have a general love and compassion for people that often leads to more intimate feelings, but she accepts who I am and I will always have her back. When it does happen that I run into someone that develops mutual feelings, my fiance is first to know (even before I even talk to the other person regularly who is also informed before it goes anywhere past friends). The only difference with me is that I barely get into relationships to begin with since I'm often fine on my own because of my upbringing. I don't even talk to someone just because I find them attractive. They're usually the one approaching.
@@normandy2501 thats one study.
Monogamy is amazing and I will forever try to protect people from polygamy as long as I breathe.
I read a comment once saying someones grandfather was a polygamist and on his death bed he said he made a mistake and apologised to his true love.
Soooooo.
@@Strawberry143x There are multiple studies out there where monogamous is just as successful as a polyamorous/ENM relationship, it all depends on the individuals' capabilities to go beyond their comfort zone where it's second nature to them. Having ones opinion is one thing, but to derale one based on one's belief is another. At the end of the day everyone has their free will no matter how much one is, like in your case, forewarns others about a certain life. Not everything is black and white.
This is actually kind of an inaccurate representation of polyamory
First off I think it'll be very easy for someone who perhaps doesn't know much about polyamory to mistake it for an open relationship
Especially when at a point you mentioned being free to flirt and have a simple coffee date. However if the topic is polyamory, you are not free to flirt in a polyamorous relationship.
A polyamorous relationship is like another other relationship but with one, maybe two extra people, or more depending on what you like
It's an equal relationship between all people
An open relationship is when a couple who are together freely allow each other to see other people, but these relationships never mix and are completely separate
I think it can be easily mistaken for a viewer because both open relationships and polygamy are both mentioned - when they absolutely shouldn't be
Polyamory, polygamy and open relationships are all different things so if you're doing a video about polyamory, the other two should not be mentioned at all because they are completely separate things
I do believe all should be mentioned and told the differences so we can tell them apart.
@@brendabalzan1994 Oh no absolutely everyone should be educated about every single one but polyamory, polygamy and open relationships are entirely different things
If you're doing a video about polyamory, polygamy and open relationships shouldn't be mentioned, those two should have entirely separate videos to themselves to explain
And I do suppose that yes, the three can be associated with each other in the sense that they all defy monogamy, but it does not mean they are the same thing
It's perhaps like saying an orange, an apple and banana are the same thing. They're all fruits sure, but they are all different to each other, get what I mean?
@@Jovviial Yes I get it. :)
@Rodri A Cruz I AGREEEEE. THERES A CIRCLE GRAPH OF IT.
Actually..... what you're describing as an open relationship I would put under the category of parallel polyamory, depending on how you define "seeing" other people. Generally, open relationships are solely about sex.. whereas parallel polyamory can involve multiple romantic relationships that dont interact with the other.
think i’d rather stay single and enjoy the company of family and friends 💜😇
Xine ღ same lol
Sumino Sun love your profile pic 💕
Same 😁
That is valid too! ^w^
Same I'm aromantic being in a relationship with someone makes me feel uncomfortable with it (sometimes I feel disgusting with it for some reason) i only want to have a good friends
I've been poly for over 3 years and it was one of the best decisions of my life, probably right under deciding to transition. I relate to every aspect of this video, especially the parts about jealously and realizing you can't have one person fulfill all your needs. I used to feel so trapped in my relationships and jealous for no reason, when I started falling for someone else I left my current partner because I thought it wasn't fair to be with them well I liked someone else. Becoming poly helped me fell free and happy in my relationships instead of trapped.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all of them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
Honestly sounds like my worst nightmare, but everyones different. Do whatever floats your boat!
Imagine you in a strong relationship and your partner started talking about seeing someone elses. These people are sick
@@zap2960 It’s all about consent. All parties have to be okay with being in an open relationship for it to be polyamory. Otherwise, it’s just cheating
@@zap2960 that's not always how it is, for example me and the 2 ladies I'm currently in a relationship with all consented to be in a relationship together from the beginning. Never been happier!
@@zap2960 You clearly didn't watch the video
@@zap2960 I think you are the sick one here lmao. Theres nothing wrong with being with multiple people as long as everyone is okay with it.
I'll admit that I tried polyamory myself, but that didn't work out.
Really? Was it your idea or your partners?
@@no_one_you_know It was mine. I even talked about it with my now ex-partner.
@@TheInvisibleFan80 ah. So was jealousy the problem?
@@no_one_you_know Yes, especially on my end. Turns out that the other person made a backstabbing attempt of stealing him away from me. So, no more of that for me.
@@TheInvisibleFan80 not all people are the same
I was watching this peacefully but started breaking down crying after feeling so damm targeted by so many of these signs.....
I have a boyfriend, I trust him fully and love him to death, but I desperately want to be with a girl as well since I’m bisexual and prefer girls. Thing is I don’t want to “cheat on him” because I would automatically feel like I’m betraying him, even though he’s completely supportive of me wanting a girlfriend, and just wants me to be happy.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you still in a relationship? If so I would slowly just bring it up. Maybe watch a movie with a polyamory relationship and then afterwards talk about it.
If he's open to bein poly why not? He was supportive of u having a gf anw tho ryt?
You should do whatever makes you happy! If you like a girl too, see if she and your Bf get along and maybe bring up a threesome
@[GD] Annoe BRUH!
@[GD] Annoe WTF IS WRONG WITH YA
Damn, I'd be lucky to even get one girlfriend.
im happy to even have a friend to talk to lmao
Im happy to even be alive lmao
Sad but truw
Just like with any relationship for a poly relationship to work I think you’d need to have good mental health, self esteem, and know who you are and what you want. That way you can communicate with your partners and not feel inferior to the other. But this is just my observations as I am not in a poly relationship just interested in one. Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong I wanna know ^-^
The brutal truth is, if 'Its for you', something is kinda wrong with you. It's not known as the failure-version of monogamy for no reason. And also, it's not for 'no reason' that Monogamy is the main-thing on planet earth.
@@loturzelrestaurant false. A. All throughout human history, even in primarily monogamous cultures, taking lovers and having affairs are pretty common, so no polyamory just makes it ethical. B. There are many cultures throughout history where having multiple partners is normal and still to this day. C. Saying that there's something wrong with you for being poly is like saying there's something wrong with you if your gay. There's nothing wrong with it, love is love ❤️.
Functionally telling people not to be in a relationship unless you have good mental health, self esteem, and know who you are and what you want, simply isn't realistic. Both me and my partner have struggles with our mental health and self esteem, however we have grown a lot stronger together than we ever did alone. While it would be bad to seek a relationship to "fix" you, helping you towards being better can be the side effect of being in a healthy relationship. I'd have never gotten much better without it.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you loce all if them all you want BUT time and attention is limited so do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And uf you really really love tgat person you CAN choose and want to choise to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and bond. Never feel left out.
@@Strawberry143x that may be how it is for you but not for other people. If it works for other people and that’s what they want then I think it’s actually the opposite ^-^
I can’t even get one girl to look at me...
Gilberto Prado Reyes I gave up on love IRL. Anime is the way to go.
It be like that
Relate af
Uhh clap in front of one? Talk to one? Make your presence known? Surprise one or two with acts of kindness?
So relatable... Ahaha ^_^"
I noticed you mentioned "open relationship" in this video, though i know this was made i while ago, i think it's important to notice the differences between open and poly
Oh it's different? I thought they're the same thing. Can you explain how it's different?
@@Michelle-gi4uj in poly relationships everyone consents to having someone join.
If one if the partners do something say, sexual with someone outside of the relationship it's cheating.
In open relationships your dating someone (ig sometimes more than one person), but you can go and have sexual relations with people who have nothing to do with the relationship. And usual those people will never will be in the relationship.
I've heard of more monogamous relationships being open relationships.
Ig people in open ones are chill with their partner (and themselfs) doing things with other people.
@@toebeans6663 i see. Thank you
@@toebeans6663 Hmm according to J (Channel: Boldly Grow) in her video The Four Types of Polyamory , what you describe as Open is considered a type of Polyamory as well! :)
@@toebeans6663 what you’re describing is a form of polyamory called polyfidelity.
I already knew polyamory isn’t for me but here I am
Same lol, I wanted to see people's opinions
you forgot another sign:
9. Chronically reading stories featuring poly relationships
Poly isn’t for me :)
I’m an Asexual, so I don’t like people at all.
But I hope poly relationships become a more accepted thing, they’re good relations ships to have (according to my friends who had a poly relationship.) so I’m on board of accepting others who want to do those things, I just want it for myself :3
How would you discribe polyamory and asexuality?
If you don’t like people at all that would be asexual as well as aromantic
I for one am asexual and I'm in a poly relationship. It's going quite well, honestly. Best relationship I've ever had.
@@KyuketsukiKitsune69 Same, it's awesome because both fulfill needs that I have. You don't need to be actively sexual to have a wholesome relationship
@@macabrony861 Right? I never thought that I'd get this kind of wonderful thing because for the longest time it felt as though being asexual made it so that I would never have a successful relationship. Boy am I glad I was wrong! I'm also happy you're in the same boat and I wish you and yours the best of luck!
I’m in a polyamorous relationship and I love it! I love both of my significant Others so much! 💕polyamory is not for everyone, but I honestly prefer it over just having one significant other.
Did you ever overcome this? This short-circuited brainmalfunction that made you not discern between s-ual partners and 'friends', which most of Humanity clearly can?
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
@@slevinchannel7589 shut up lol
The replies are crazy. People should mind their own business, it's not like you're cheating on someone as everyone in this relationship is consensual ! :))
@@saga_oneil You do realize that their relationship is now non existent now right? (No surprise). Poloyamrous relationships don't work out.
Thank you! I am polyamorous and this is a great video! You should explain the different polyamorous relationships including getting rid of any myths about polyamory
Nice! How was your experience like? How did you make it work for you?
@@Psych2go I had to accept that I really just want what's best for the other person. There is so much stress with a closed monogamous relationship that I could personally never really handle. A polyamorous relationship just requires a lot of trust, work, and talking. That's the best way to make it work and to explain it.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all of them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
I was having a really hard time deciding if I am polyamorous but after watching this video I’m content. I’ve had polyamory tendencies for years now but always questioned if it was a phase. This video helped me.
It's backwarded. stop falling for this stuff
@@munk3064 I disagree respectfully but I would like to hear why you think that
@@Seashellshesell I think it’s bad since it’s just promoting ideas that Polyamory is okay, except that it’s just more grounds to cheat. Even if 2 people are willing to go find another why do people need another person to fulfill themselves? Just accept nothing worked in the beginning and find a single person instead and not a poly person.
Being poly is setting yourself up to failure. Good luck dealing and trying to get close and intimate with more than one person. Humans aren't built for that. Theres a reason why poly never lasts. Pair bonding comes natural to humans. Look it up
There’s nothing morally wrong with polyamory, I feel that most of the problems come from the people in the relationship rather than the stigma placed by society
dude fuck society..its about individual levels..im not built for a poly..i cant..im too sensitive and i would feel betrayed
@@shikabaneconga them work on yourself. I'm not saying you have to be in a poly relationship but the jealousy and etc you should work on.
Sammy Higgs i can work on myself all i want, i’m different, thats the thing, i can’t be forced to like sharing my heart in the same way others can, i’m not built for it..
Bytheway Inazma then no one should force it on you. Doesn’t mean others cant be poly tho. If you’re full on mono then that’s fine, if others are poly then that’s fine too. Relationships are different for everyone. Your just need to find one that’s right for you.. a lil irony for saying “one” but i hope you get my point lol
@@ziezero Underrated comment. I agree with you
I tried... It hurt me so much that It effected my health, mental health. I don't share... Doesn't mean I cant care or love people. I do at limit, but that's a nope for me. I still think its not a good idea for many reasons.
You'd be justified in thinking that. It goes against common sense
@@spudosjkl717 no, I did it because Of the person I liked at the time. then I soon realized it was not a good choice. But think whatever you think because I know the truth and I am not going to argue.
Tht is pretty reckless
@@vai5760 well you know what I learned my lesson and just dont date people who are into that stuff. So just leave it be.
@@Eepy_kitten huh? I was agreeing with you, not trying to argue
Here’s when I have a problem: My ex girlfriend was poly and we were in a relationship for a month before she told me and I found out she was in a poly relationship with many other people WITHOUT TELLING ME. Like do you but tell someone your poly before getting into a relationship with them.
Obviously, she could’ve gotten you an std. She could’ve gotten pregnant and could lie it was you. She just sounds like a cheater that used polygamy as an excuse.
In my relationship with my boyfriends, yes.Both of them know about each other and they love each other too
She cheated on you, no other way around it
You have to tell it first
@@prithamukherjee5732 well said
This video is the best I’ve seen when explaining polyamory. It’s revolutionary and so important for opening peoples minds. It’s like she said, it’s all good unless someone is getting hurt. What I’ve found in my own relationship is that the stigma from Society is what causes the pain. Because of society I’m being forced to choose between my partners. I will have to end my marriage so that I can even be considered a liable partner for my boyfriend. Luckily my husband is truly loving and seeks my happiness. The best thing I’ve learned from polyamory is that your partner doesn’t need to fit into a box. They have their own gifts to bring. Just because one person makes you happy doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t have something else to bring. But overall I’m lost at what to do and I hate people because they judge without proper reason.
R/Confientlyincorrect. Quite literally, as i can assure you, every single Statement you made is objectively wrong. Many claims, all demonstrably wrong, GIVEN to you by the internet. Just like Bo Burnham sings in 'Welcome to the Internet' you can literally not discern things, so even the dumbest-ideas seem revolutionary to you. Its another version of the issue that Facebook radicalizess Boomers.
No proof, wild claims given to you and parroted by you; the similarities are very clear.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you loce all if them all you want BUT time and attention is limited so do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And uf you really really love tgat person you CAN choose and want to choise to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and bond. Never feel left out.
May I ask, why are you doing this? Since you think your husband loves you, so what type of need aren't you meeting in your marriage?
See- i used to have a girlfriend- (like- a lesbian relationship)
But- it didnt work out as i am poly and she isnt
Well- we broke up 2 weeks ago- and my 2 bestfriends- and me- we all ended up liking eahcother and mow we are dating in a poly ^-^ i love them both- they are my queens!
And i feel so much better. As they are easier to talk to and we dont have to be fake to eachother. I prefer poly.
Edit: haha, i forgot this comment existed, yea we broke uP, but one of them (they go by they/them pronouns) are better now and im happy for them, as for the other, me and her are still together!❤
Edit 2
We all broke up, and found better partners :)
edit 3 wooo, one now goes by he/him, the other by she/her, and i go by they/them, we still do talk tho :)
Awwww that's great! I hope you all are doing well!
@@kitt3661 read the edit- bUt thanks for your positivity anyway!
Weirdo
@@caelestebantarikkschiavon185 If you're gonna call me a weirdo, leave.
Well I hope you doing good :) glad you found new partner
This topic seriously needs deepening. Thank you for sharing this ✨
Hope it was thought provoking! And helpful for those in this situation!
@@Psych2go Very. Especially after reading some of these comments.
Indeed it is, whether you are against it or not.
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all of them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
It's like Communism with love. The idea of sharing seems reasonable, but in practice it is a different story.
sskuk 10 Haha, great analogy!
We share our love here, comrade.
There's nothing communistic about polyamory. The opposite, actually. Its inherent philosophy is one of objectification and commodification of the personal relationships. It treats people as extractable resources. Polyamory is nothing more than consumerism infecting our personal, romantic relationships.
Why the fuck is everyone here comparing love to politics?
Engels (co-author of the communist manifesto) actually wrote a book called The Origin of the Family, Private
Property and the State
Thank you for finding the term I can finally use! I have several relationships, I’m open and honest about each one, they know each other and I have never been happier. Monogamy is overrated, there so many wonderful people to love and experience why constrict yourself. Monogamy equals a miserable life. 😅but to each their own. Wishing luck to all of you and your relationships. Find your happy place! And people to enjoy it with
Honestly, this video doesn't seem as "signs this is for you" more like "random stuff that may be linked to enjoying this lifestyle". Please PsychToGo REVIEW this content and publish again
its called clickbating
I personally don’t like polyamory-it’s not for me and dating someone who’s poly would make me and has, way too anxious and uncomfortable. I’m not going to hate anyone for being poly, you’re a consenting adult and can do what you want and I’m happy that you’re happy, but never again for me.
Hey, we all have our experiences, and polyamory isn't for everyone, if it's not right for you, then that's fine. It sounds like you might have gone through a bad relationship, so sorry about that. Hope you have a good day!
@@Connorsedols2002 That’s a good way of putting it. I’d never hate someone for being poly, you can’t change who you are and who you love, whether that’s one person or many. It’s all so personal, and I could never take that from someone. Hope you have a good day too 💕
Me too because for one they would love to have threesomes and also same with Gay and Lesbian and Bisexual people would do this too. I find it a bit shocking how they want to be a trio altogether.
@@henkaistudio I can’t speak on the poly stuff (but they’re not just about sex, these are people, mind you), but gay, lesbian and bisexual people aren’t always gunning for threesomes-I should know, I’m a bi woman. It’s not all about sex. Though sex is a main part of it, it’s also about complex, emotional relationships.I think you have a lot of misconceptions about human sexuality.
@@Elsisalittleconcerned ok and yeah because every Bisexual person is different no matter who they love.
It is possible to love more than one person. Honestly having more than one partners would give me anxiety lol. My boss was in a relationship like that but then realized she couldn't keep her jealousy to herself.
It’s totally possible! Just really rare ^^.
Sameee, tbh it's not for me and i wouldn't be able to be with someone who is poly
@@catrasauce If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you love all of them all you want, BUT as time and attention is limited, do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And if you really really love that person you CAN choose and want to choose to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and that bond. Never feel left out. Etc. Thay only us bonded feeling, that chosen feeling cause you really love that person.
@@Strawberry143x ok hanna
There is an extreme difference between crushing on someone and loving someone
when you have a crush, you only see superficial, mostly appearance level, you only love the idea of it, but you dont know what love is until you truly know them..
you cant just say "i have crushes im poly"
When you truly love someone is when you can see yourself living with them, supporting them, when you see that they care about you, no matter how you look, no matter what happens and that youre safe enough to cry and feel..
thats why i seriously dont believe in poly..it took me so long to have a peaceful relationship in my life..and i truly know this person..and i would have to take X amount of same years to know someone else if i were to add someone else to the relationship..
so no.. its not for me
You can fast track that process by being open and vulnerable with people. Be upfront about who you are and they'll know you in a matter of weeks.
James Downs i spent a lifetime getting pushed down and abused and used for being "vulnerable" i don't want poly..i despise it with a passion..
James Downs i made up my mind..i don't want to share my significant other, its unconditional love..
James Downs if they know me..? what does it matter..you need to know someone you can't just act upfront and say all of this happened to me plz date me.. like..dude.. you gotta know the person too..and i refuse to taint the relationship i worked so hard to build
Idk if I'm polyamorous but I get you completely. I know what it's like to love someone, you become blind to everything and everyone else but there is always an inner aspect of me that's wants to explore, that wants to make my love blossom and expand, that wants to experience more. Loving someone exclusively is great but limiting. Sooner or later you'll want to go beyond the limit, that doesn't mean ending a relationship with your partner but it means that it's time to expand beyond it. I personally can love many people, and have intimate relationships with them. It makes life so exciting but a lot of people aren't ready yet for polyamory.
Realizing one person cannot be the perfect unicorn, fulfilling every desire you have. It's impossible. It's a false dream. Great job.
Mylaur if you’re looking at a relationship from the perspective that the other person is suppose to fulfill your every desire, then yes it’s impossible and the wrong way to look at relationships. Polyamory will not solve the fundamental issue in this. Need to start from the ground up and re-evaluate your understanding of relationships.
Friends are still a thing....
In fact...the perfect match for you can.
I don’t care if someone is polyamory. But this video seemed very bias and anti monogamy and most of the stuff they list EVERYONE feels at some point. I felt like this video was way too bias
rachel bowles I totally agree. I originally subscribed to this channel because I thought it’d be great to learn more about psychology and mental stuff. I see it catering a lot more towards left wing ideology, and with things like this where they seem to only support one side and try to sound inclusive of the other.
Only reason I’m still following these people is because I think it might be worth sparking discussion in comment sections and to view opposing views.
I definitely agree
I'm actually disappointed to see this kind of video on a channel like this. First thumbs down I've ever given this channel.
Like even as a left wing person I hate it when there’s an obvious bias and they only show one side. Being poly is fine but everything they listed is smthn we’ve ALL felt at some point in our life. They make monogamous ppl seem awful and it just rlly annoyed me
@@rachelbowles969 How I felt.
As a polyamorous person, BIG RELATE xkzkskkxzk
What do you find unique about being a polyamorous person? What are some challenges you've personally encountered and how did you overcome them?
Nice profile picture
@@Psych2go it's feels a little weird that I like this one person, and then glance over and see another cute person and I like them both at the same time. But it's nice to know it's a thing.
Also, polygamy and polyamory are different things! Polygamy is say, 1 guy with 4 wives, while polyamory 3 or more people in a romantic relationship that's not revolved around 'dirty stuff'.
@@brhlthvr oooh interesting
I fully accept polyamorous relationships. But I don’t understand how two+ people can happily be in a relationship. If it’s three someone would always get left out. If it’s four you’d end up pairing up and I couldn’t imagine having such strong feelings for multiple people.
it’s like a group that shares love no matter what. you can have platonic groups share love (friendship groups) and the same can be delivered with love.
Susuya Juuzou I would have to disagree it is definitely not a fetish and you should probably do research before claiming something false!
Оригинальный Никнейм
I thought that too, I always have a favourite friend and someone always gets left out.
@Susuya Juuzou I'm 100% agree with you but ohh well, we living in this «modern » society that soon everything will be ok and normal even if biology, psychiatriy, medicine saying its not
@Rose Vampire that’s assuming that the needs and nature of the connection between the 3+ people are the same. For example one of them may simply be looking for a casual connection rather than a committed one, so they won’t be “left out” because the arrangement is fair to everyone’s needs and desires. Some polyamorous people swap with each other’s partners and they’re all intimately involved with each other, others don’t mingle with each other’s partners and see different people entirely. It all depends on transparent communication of needs/desires and clear consent for all parties. If anyone has feeling of being “left out” this is a form of jealousy which as the video established is not a healthy emotion to have in an open/polyamorous relationship.
You can truly and deeply love many people, animals, plants, mother earth God spirituality, the arts, education, humanitarianism, orphans, etc. but it doesn't mean we need to go around having sex with every single object , people, things, or animals in order to grow and be happy. Research had shown that depressed people "NEED" more sex than happy people because their brain cannot produce endorphine (a happy hormone) so they need to go from people to people to get the next "HIGH". They live off of other's people's energy like a vampire. Promiscuity is also more prominent among children from abusive families. Read up.
I felt that most of the topics were simply healthy things that are usually desired in a relationship, or in order to be a healthy couple, not strongly related to polyamory.
Arthur Franckevicius agreed
That's sorta the point... it's just like any other "normal" healthy relationship, just the number of people involved is different.
Agreed
Personally i don’t really think you can love multiple people like that. You can leave one and love another, but I don’t think you can love multiple people at the deep level you can love one. To me it sounds like someone involved in polyamory doesn’t really want a “relationship” so much as they just want freedom to have sex with anyone. I also feel like some of these seem kinda general. Like they can function in a monogamous relationship too. I’m not a psychologist, I’m just guessing based on what I know about the way I(and probably others) work
I agree with every point. I am definitely polyamorous. And happy.
It’s not for me. Once this girl wanted to be in a relationship like that. The second day into the relationship she said “Btw there’s this friend I’m gonna meet in the future and kiss.” And I was shocked. Idk, it just feels like someone cheating on you. So I broke up with her
That might've been the best thing to do
You were lowkey getting replaced by a better suitor for her.
Alpha fucks, beta bucks
Being in a polyamorous relationship doesn’t mean being able to do whatever you want without asking and not setting any boundaries. She should have asked you respectfully.
@@AerisNotAerith Or not at all because its disgusting and not true "love"
@@AerisNotAerith Or not at all because its disgusting and not true "love"
I don't like sharing. Why don't they just be single? Dating multiple people means your single.
Theoretically, yeah. You got a point there. xD
Rex Dahmer no, there’s a difference between polyamory and an open relationship
No I mean that if u don't want commitment be single. The only reason people want open relationships is to see if someone better comes along so they can justify their actions. If you truly love someone you won't want to share them or be with anyone else
Rex Dahmer you can have commitment in a polyamorous relationship, again, this isn’t about an open relationship
You can't love multiple people at the same time. Sure you may care about multiple people. But your always going to love one person over the others. And when the others realize that, and they will, they will end up hurt. People who end up in these relationships end up getting hurt.
Psychology is nonbiased, and this article was written with a strong bias. Thus, it is an opinion piece and does not meet any scientific criteria. That ought to be made clear at the outset. The casual observer will take this as factual reporting when it could not be further than the truth. Your name is Psych2Go, you are verified (which people take to be a reputable source), so you have a responsibility to uphold certain scientific and reporting standards.
If you show your channel name in the video and present a piece that is not 100% unbiased, you need to specify within the video and NOT JUST the description that it is an opinion piece, and site the writer the same as all other sources. As it is now, we don't know where these come from - perhaps the work of the children reading them? Nevertheless, put a name and upon what authority do they write on this topic. Leave it to them to judge its inherent value for themselves under more open and honest circumstances.
Psych2Go information is very superficial. It's correct but they don't delve deeper in those topics. Their videos are a quick crash course
I'm finding it hard to take the 'non-biased' comment seriously: you're on a video that, by the title itself, very clearly promotes the upsides of Polyamory; thus if not outright stating it, otherwise implying that it will contain a more subjective outlook. And given Psych2Go's reputation, they no doubt they have a 'X signs Polyamory is not for you', or 'X signs Monogamy is for you' video in the making to counter-balance this one. Arguably it should have been culminated into one video, but Psych2Go's channel works on a formula of quick-fire, focused points rather than in-depth analysis. Even in psychology, there's nothing at all wrong with discussing one side of the die to create context, so long as you don't then betray objectivity by dismissing or denying the validity behind the alternative sides.
But I can agree that sources and research material would be appreciated.
Kecu Kritiques 1) If it’s opinion, it’s not fact
2) There’s a difference in showing off positives of poly relationships, and making mono relationships sound like torture. I share the opinion with many others that this video seemed to make mono relationships look like a bad relationship, while promoting poly relationships. If you want to show positives, fine. But don’t make mono relationships look evil while doing it
They’re not describing a poly relationship they’re describing an open relationship… am I missing something? I’ve been a throple for over 10 years.. but it’s a closed relationship with no flirting, and no dating outside.
Polyamory is a bit of an umbrella term. I do wish they had gone into a bit more of an explanation of the different dynamics. Throuple, open relationships, multiple partnerships, etc. These are all different types of polyamorous and ethical non-monogamous dynamics
Umm No
honestly with complete respect to all you guys , wether with or against . i see that this type of relationship is very toxic to our behavioural understanding and analysis . I believe that being in a love relationship with certain one means that you are specific in choosing this person as a partner because he or she is a complementary to your life . And a relationship means that every partner should sacrifice in a part of their life and emotions to help the other one and make his life better . And jealousy have nothing to do , if your partner leaves you and gets in another relation , believe me you are not feeling jealousy , but you are feeling beaten and cheated on emotionally because you will feel that what you have given with passion is blown in air . And that does not mean that you are exerting tension in the relationship and being selfish because ,but this means that you chose the wrong complementary piece of your life . As my philosophical teacher says , life is full of frogs , and you should kiss many frogs to find that one which will transform into your prince . I am not against keep indulging in safe healthy relationships until meeting your compatible one , but you should get in relations separately , because love is never meant to be divided on each person you like . it is not about making benefits. it is about uniting and helping each other .
Thank you
Based off of what I've heard, this does seem to be the case for those who tried a poly relationship with out it working out, but in the end, it's nice to hear that there are still many poly relationships that are healthy by just talking it out, cooperating, and understanding. (And lots of love, of course. )
yes ❤
it's toxic to you because you're not poly, dude. many people find happiness in poly relationships, but they're poly, that's their nature. it's just like a normal relationship but adding one more person. I'm dating two poly people and I never felt so alive before having them, it'll be our third year.
i wish you luck and happiness anyways.
While you are dividing your love in a way, so are others, so you are giving two halves, but the other two are also giving two halves, and everyone is receiving the same: two halves.
It is a matter of preference. Some People love pizza with a little bit of many different ingredients, others prefer a simpler pizza with cheese only to enjoy the cheese by itself.
Monogamy is like a pizza with extra cheese, polyamory is like a pizza with a little bit of peperoni, a few mushroom, a few veggies, some olives. Different People prefer and better interact with different things.
I agree to many points. But I would never consider "sharing" my girlfriend with anyone. A relationship is intimacy and not having multiple relationships with others and calling it love...
Well put
Keyword is Communication. Don’t use poly as an excuse to cheat on someone who you were never clear that you’d be dating multiple people. I'm in a poly relationship. I prefer it much better than just being in a relationship. Furthermore, I feel happier and more comfortable with being open.
Polyamory is for people who use the excuse of not loving someone/cheating and turn it into a word
Can you truly just love one person though?
Perseus One It’s possible to love multiple people. You love multiple friends and family members, you can love two people at once whether it’s romantic or not.
Perseus One Also there is a big difference between polyamory and cheating, and that’s consent.
r e i big difference between loving family and saying you can love other people as partners.
Perseus One that’s why I brought up that it doesn’t matter what type of love it is, it’s still possible to love multiple people romantically
It's weird that the comment section is mostly pathologising or about pathologisation of relationships, all sexual-romantic relationships.
There's a lot to do still, isn't there
I get secretly jealous way to easily.
If people refuse polyamory to avoid jealousy, then they should avoid relationships themselves to prevent any jealousy. I personally found myself NEVER struggling with any jealousy ONLY during times of being single. Monogamous relationships provoked jealousy in me. And I hate being jealous. So, I am staying single and it's the most peaceful time. I have never been as happy in a relationship as I had been single. However, I have never tried polyamorous nor met anyone willing to practice that. But I think the best way to not feel jealous is to not enter in any relationships.
Polyamory is rare. And not for nor reason.
Until both science and the greatest mass of polyamory-practioners stop saying its a relationship-model, you dont stop being confronted by reasonable and rainbow loving folk with the rarity argument. Not like its the only criticism we could throw your way, but it remains a silverbullet as your whole narrative is shattered if its not something people are intrinsically born as and yet still its mega-rare
@@nenmaster5218humans are built to be monogamous
Sounds like Responsibility but with extra steps .
More like irresponsibility
@HiIamFin agreed
Lmao!! Rick and Morty much??
Literally just realized during this that I have been unknowingly poly AF for several years lol. I had 2 different imaginary boyfriends a few years ago and now I'm just looking back like, "ohh that makes so much more sense now lmao"
I’m in my first polyamorous relationship and I’m not gonna lie, I was struggling at first to think of my primary having sex with others, but I quickly realized that it was being cheated on and lied to in the past spilling into this union I’m 8/8 and excited to see where things go as I delve deeper into polyamory!
openness and honesty is very much a problem in monogamous relationships when there is cheating because you feel you have to hide not only what you have DONE but also really what you ARE polyamourous / polysexual by nature capable to feel different things for different people at the same time but you are afraid of judgement or rejection or abandonment
you have cheated ? we are done relationship has just ended people dont love and accept each other for who they truly are thank god I am single all that ownership mentality and judgement and people judgemental sanctimonious in the same situation they may act no differently
If you cant do the honor of choosing ONE and doing right by that one person and giving all your love and undivided attention because you love and wanna make that person happy, if you cant do that your a terrible lover its not real love its a selfish empty feast where no one is truely deeply fed, so you dont deserve that person. OR anyone.
You can say you loce all if them all you want BUT time and attention is limited so do right and kindly choose to give it all to one instead of sefishly choosing all and non gets all just all gets crumbs. And uf you really really love tgat person you CAN choose and want to choise to gift all your limited time to them. Make them feel special and all that loveliness and bond. Never feel left out.
@@Strawberry143x unfortunately nobody in these comments won't care, they will definitely regret this crap when their old and are alone, you cant truly "share" somone and expect a impact on your or their lives that why when these people find some better they drop and leave the poly for them.
No views?...
But Im here...
Ikr? Like wtf?
@Dorayaque TuTyagTuT, How can it's have no views if you are here?
@@deannaweir-smyth3114 r/whooooooosh
When the profile picture matches the comment perfectly
I'm not willing to risk the STD
I dont know I don't think this is a bad thing, but don't think I could ever do this from the fear that they would just leave me for the other person
Some say "you need to take risks", this is a risk but if they end up leaving you for the other person then you'll know they aren't for you. So many cheat and no one would know but the people involved. Some married men do go out with others but they would never leave their wives for various reasons.
Are you not worried one partner would cheat then end up leaving as well?
No other video made me feel so understood in my whole life I swear haha I cannot believe that I am not the only one with these thoughts.
Polygamy is disgusting.
This video is about polyamory, not polygamy. :)
as long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone i am cool with all
Currently in my first poly relationship! I never thought i would be able to be in one but after gaining a lot of confidence and trust in myself, poly relationships have been the best thing that happened to me
As long as you give time and effort to them, has a good connection and communication.
I feel weird dating someone who is like that.
What if it's someone you really liked or love? Would you still be with them?
Yes, I do love her and I am currently still in the relationship. One of the things I'd think would happen in a relationship like this though is they would favor one over the others.
Try being married to one...or more to the point was married to one. Polybullshit more like it.
@@Psych2go No. Truth is you are not compatible. If your partner wants to be with other people they eventually will and cheat on you.
@@Vivianblue.Jesus, calm down. You just insulted an entire community
Polygamy doesnt make sense for alot of reasons, first of all, if you marry with more than one person, how are you going to be able to take care of that many child in seperate houses,
2. It is obvious that STDs are more common because people started to have sex with more than 1 person, its not hygenic
3. Jealousy is natural, dont try to make people feel alright about it, i dont think its the society that makes us think we should be jealous, its natural, you can see with the kids, they dont like to share things that belong to them or feel jealous of their parents playing with other kids. Because it is their parents.
Nothing wrong with thinking our lovers belongs to us. Jealousy is natural and you cant love 2 person at the same time.
4. And also i think a healthy mom and dad relationship is a great model for kids because they will take example of their mom and dad and if a mom or dad is sharing “love” its not a very good example for the kids to see their mom sharing her love because who is the other guy? Second dad or who?
There are alot of people trying to act cool and not be jealous and possibly even share their partners these days, and i dont think this should be OK.
I dont feel like i should be sharing my partner and it doesnt mean I am not cool or modern. You didnt show scientific evidence but if thats true that our ancestors were like that, who cares? Animals are like that too, but we are civilized humans and being human should be much more complicated than that.
1. Who said you have to have kids at all?
2. With hookups, sure. It's no less hygienic with 1 person than 3 unless you have poor hygiene habits, (which may be a personal concern of yours, given it was brought up so abruptly about serious relationships). This point says more about you than poly relationships tbh...
3. Yes jealousy is natural, but no those instances aren't always the case with every kid. Some don't mind sharing, sk let's not pretend you know every kid in the world. I know just as many people who aren't jealous at all as people who are super jealous. It all depends on personality. Also, no. Your partner does not "belong" to you. They are a separate, individual human being and deserve to be treated as such. They're not your property or toy, hence why they can leave the relationship whenever they want. Understanding this is a key factor in maintaining ANY healthy relationship.
4. Again, who said you had to have kids? And the other spouse won't be mom or dad #2, it would be their half-siblings' parents, so they might call them dad/mom, they might call them by their first name. Depends on what dynamic everyone is ok with.
5. Lastly, if you don't like it, then don't do it. Why do you feel the need to dictate what other people do in their relationships? Needing such a high level of control is actually unhealthy, and you should probably seek professional help.
Forgot: why does being human mean we have to be more complicated? How many people in the world are doing Calculus and speaking 10+ languages? Life doesn't need to be complicated at all, as it causes undue stress. Why make things harder than they have to? If it works for you, cool! But people don't (usually) like hard, which is why people jump on the bandwagon when they find the next simplest way to get things. The saying, "if it were easy, everyone would do it," exists for a reason; it tends to be true.
Nope, i'm not polyarmous for sure~
I only have eyes for my boyfriend and don't even notice if someone is flirting with me...
Congrats?
I'm the exact same
"let us know if any of these signs relate to you in the comments"
Why? you wanna date me or smn??
😂😂thats whats alwayss saidd and its soo annoying ngl😅😆
I don't think that engaging with more than one person and engaging with only one person is the same. Also, i don't agree that being in a monogamous relationship obstruct yourself to love others. There's not only Eros (Romantic love).
Anyway, anyone is free to choose what make them feel better✌️
Exactly I don’t understand people who think being in love with someone is the same as just general love. It’s completely different