To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
Thank you so much for your videos and being present just the way you are. After watching your videos I feel like I'm OK and there's nothing wrong with me. A lot of what you're talking about resonates with me. And when I'm just thinking about it in my head I feel kinda isolated and questioning my sanity. But when I listen to you - it warms my heart that other people think just the same. (I mean focusing on trying to understand what exactly attracts me in people rather than understanding the gender I feel attracted to)
@@JP-mq7pg Actually they don’t. Our bodies are always acting in our best interests, what happens is we repress, ignore or shame our basic needs, then the pressure grows and our bodies eventually react in an extreme way which we don’t want. We then further shame them and the cycle of distrust continues. If we can get used to listening to and validating our bodies on a daily basis, we will become in sync. We will be regulated and our bodies will work with us. I hope that makes sense.
@@notdefining Thank you for your reply. I feel we are of the same thought process in that if we ignore things in our lives stress builds and our bodies will as you say "react in an extreme way". I still feel though that our heart and thoughts are at the front of the line for triggering bodily reactions. If we live with a closed heart and a troubled mind our body will eventually rebel. Learning to have courage to just BE takes time for some. Having at least one person in our life that we can openly share in confidence with is very important for ones well being. Thanks again for your reply.
Took years for me but I've always known I was never sexually attracted to people today's date some people do ask me about sexual stuff and when I tell them I'm not sexually attracted or into that stuff to them it's like they get their feelings hurt a friend of mine once send me a pornography picture I told her if you were trying to turn me on you had failed miserably and she sent me this emoji 😢 not my job to educate them about asexuality
I’m so happy you mention how there are no watertight but I feel like straight people misunderstand it as a a way to diminish any sense of assertion thus leaving everyone confused.
@@notdefining thanks always for your reply. And for your fantastic vids and beautiful authenticity. I presume much of this particular video isn't geared towards those with SOOCD, is that correct?
Hey thanks for sharing. The point here is that you feel uncomfortable. You are wondering why which is likely to be a really confusing and complex question that is quite impossible to answer. The best thing to do is to say “I feel uncomfortable”. So you can ask him not to touch you or move away etc. that’s it. There is nothing more complicated than that. Trust that your body knows what feels good and what doesn’t. You don’t have to explain or justify anything.
Hey there. Thanks for asking. They’re posted on the Patreon.com/notdefining members area every 4-6 weeks and I normally give about 2 weeks in advance. They’re usually on a Sunday and we alternate between 1200 and 1700 (UK time) to allow for members in all parts of the world to attend at least every other time. I don’t have a timetable as such. You would be most warmly welcome. 🙏🏽
what should i do i dont what do with my Sexuality is because i was question by my mum in 2019 because their was staff number in my work who was lesbian i fancy her a bit but then i was getting ask if i fancy womens i stay to my mum no and my mum was asking was i lesbian i stay no i was getting pea off with me and my mum where swearing each other because that reason i dont speck to people about what my Sexuality is And another things my mum was staying to would you kiss girl i stay no to her but then i was thinking it like kissing boy. I know i will always fancy boys but i have feelings for girls too what your thoughts on it thank you for your time love from jess xxx ps i have autism and heart defects call tetralogy of fallot i fancy 3 boys call my mum friend sue son jack and my ex friend morgan and and my ex boyfriend Stephen who sadly is dating someone else but he will always love of my life and i fancy girl Layla who i knows from school please help me understand xxxx
Hey there Jess, thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like you have been through a lot and I’m sorry to hear that you have had to deal with all of this. If you feel any kind of attraction to girls and guys then you would be legitimately bi. You don’t have to share that with anyone and you don’t have to use that word if you don’t want to but that is what bi is. I hope this is somewhat helpful. Sending big respect and appreciation. Mark.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
Thank you so much for your videos and being present just the way you are. After watching your videos I feel like I'm OK and there's nothing wrong with me. A lot of what you're talking about resonates with me. And when I'm just thinking about it in my head I feel kinda isolated and questioning my sanity. But when I listen to you - it warms my heart that other people think just the same. (I mean focusing on trying to understand what exactly attracts me in people rather than understanding the gender I feel attracted to)
This just made my day
I love your videos and your personality you are a very wonderful and open minded person ❤
Omg thank you so much. You just made my day.
Btw congratulations on 10K subscribers 🎉
Heeey thank you so so much. I was so proud.
Your body will tell you or your heart will tell you? Our bodies can betray us at times...
@@JP-mq7pg Actually they don’t. Our bodies are always acting in our best interests, what happens is we repress, ignore or shame our basic needs, then the pressure grows and our bodies eventually react in an extreme way which we don’t want. We then further shame them and the cycle of distrust continues. If we can get used to listening to and validating our bodies on a daily basis, we will become in sync. We will be regulated and our bodies will work with us. I hope that makes sense.
@@notdefining Thank you for your reply. I feel we are of the same thought process in that if we ignore things in our lives stress builds and our bodies will as you say "react in an extreme way". I still feel though that our heart and thoughts are at the front of the line for triggering bodily reactions. If we live with a closed heart and a troubled mind our body will eventually rebel. Learning to have courage to just BE takes time for some. Having at least one person in our life that we can openly share in confidence with is very important for ones well being. Thanks again for your reply.
@@JP-mq7pg absolutely you said it perfectly. It is my pleasure to reply. I hope it’s helpful. Sending big love.
@@notdefining 🤗
Took years for me but I've always known I was never sexually attracted to people today's date some people do ask me about sexual stuff and when I tell them I'm not sexually attracted or into that stuff to them it's like they get their feelings hurt a friend of mine once send me a pornography picture I told her if you were trying to turn me on you had failed miserably and she sent me this emoji 😢 not my job to educate them about asexuality
That’s right. It’s not your job to educate. You are you and that’s enough. Thank you so much for sharing your unique experience. I appreciate it.
I am not an overly sexual person
I’m so happy you mention how there are no watertight but I feel like straight people misunderstand it as a a way to diminish any sense of assertion thus leaving everyone confused.
Hi Mark. Is it not possible for SOOCD to warp or diminish one's attractions?
Yes it is.
@@notdefining thanks always for your reply. And for your fantastic vids and beautiful authenticity.
I presume much of this particular video isn't geared towards those with SOOCD, is that correct?
I sometimes get seuxal thoughts around my mate, but when he touches me I get uncomfortable and don't like it, I wonder why this could be?
Fear. Just try to relax! 😊
Hey thanks for sharing. The point here is that you feel uncomfortable. You are wondering why which is likely to be a really confusing and complex question that is quite impossible to answer. The best thing to do is to say “I feel uncomfortable”. So you can ask him not to touch you or move away etc. that’s it. There is nothing more complicated than that. Trust that your body knows what feels good and what doesn’t. You don’t have to explain or justify anything.
2:41 What about looking at brain scans was what turns someone on - or what makes a person’s pupils dilate??
I saw a man kiss a girl on the dancefloor, then he kissed his mate on the dancefloor and hugged him. Is this classic bisexuality?
All I know is Mark is not confused about being attracted to Miley Cyrus
Haha. You know me so well. Correct.
Bi is right
is there a timetable for your group therapy sessions?
Hey there. Thanks for asking. They’re posted on the Patreon.com/notdefining members area every 4-6 weeks and I normally give about 2 weeks in advance. They’re usually on a Sunday and we alternate between 1200 and 1700 (UK time) to allow for members in all parts of the world to attend at least every other time. I don’t have a timetable as such. You would be most warmly welcome. 🙏🏽
@@notdefining
how active is the Facebook / online community ?
what should i do i dont what do with my Sexuality is because i was question by my mum in 2019 because their was staff number in my work who was lesbian i fancy her a bit but then i was getting ask if i fancy womens i stay to my mum no and my mum was asking was i lesbian i stay no i was getting pea off with me and my mum where swearing each other because that reason i dont speck to people about what my Sexuality is And another things my mum was staying to would you kiss girl i stay no to her but then i was thinking it like kissing boy. I know i will always fancy boys but i have feelings for girls too what your thoughts on it thank you for your time love from jess xxx ps i have autism and heart defects call tetralogy of fallot i fancy 3 boys call my mum friend sue son jack and my ex friend morgan and and my ex boyfriend Stephen who sadly is dating someone else but he will always love of my life and i fancy girl Layla who i knows from school please help me understand xxxx
Hey there Jess, thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like you have been through a lot and I’m sorry to hear that you have had to deal with all of this. If you feel any kind of attraction to girls and guys then you would be legitimately bi. You don’t have to share that with anyone and you don’t have to use that word if you don’t want to but that is what bi is. I hope this is somewhat helpful. Sending big respect and appreciation. Mark.
@@notdefining i really like girls but i got doubts about it