MSSP - Bedtime Stories: The History Of Circumcision
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- Опубликовано: 4 май 2023
- From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 75 with Adam Zeldis
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Приколы
My circ looked like the scene in Spiderman 2 where the surgeons try to remove Doc Ocks metal arms
💀
Dang it peepop you spooky joker
I got circumcised at an age where I fully remember the anxiety of the doctor coming to our house the the scalpel cutting my skin, you literally feel it cutting in then you black out and then before u know it I’m playing with my trucks with my little pee pee out… also this was in Iraq
@@osamahashoor2548 I've heard this almost word for word twice this week. Is it common in the middle East?
@@thegarge7476 relative to the rest of the Middle East my parents are progressive (in the logical sense not this bastardized new meaning) all my siblings had it when the where infants cause were like Jews about that shit, but I was an exception for some reason, also was the second kid, which like fuck u mom and dad, but I cannot speak for saudis and Taliban types, there’s some weird fuckers
“Doing drugs makes you smarter.”
“THEYRE CIRCUMCISING BABY WHALES!?”
This is the shaman everybody
He’s so fuggin retarded I love him
He's not very bright but drugs probably can make you smarter in a roundabout way. If that's what it takes for mental stimulation anyway. Some people are too depressed and anxious to be casually amazed. Goddamn lol
And Shane is trying so hard to seem like this whole conversation isn't weird as hell. It's Freudian mumbo jumbo.
@@CJM-rg5rt I like more modern and refined medical mumbo jumbo where if you have a feeling they'll go ahead and remove the entire penis for you. I'm so glad we live in a time where we have all the answers and question nothing
@@CJM-rg5rtok p po pop oki ok pop57o7😅77 on o phonograph kjo
This one's a deep cut
😂😂😢😢
Director’s cut
A cut above
The razors edge
Tip of the cap
Shamans in ancient times would apply dong wax to promote healing and add thickness to a circed bird
The J's have a guy that applies good neck to the dong to promote healing.
So the Js do that and control the media at the same time? Good time management.
Heard they also use the power of the sun to cure ringworm
@@ChrisReparationslulWith simultaneous wine mouthwash
I still apply wax to thicken my bird frrom time to time
I’m against circumcising. I think the biggest problem with changing people’s attitudes is that if they’ve already done that to their son(s), it’s really hard to convince them that they did something wrong. No one likes to admit they made a mistake especially if it involves their infant child.
This. No one wants to admit that they done something absolutely horrific to their kid.
Nor do they want to admit it was done to them
"I'm like the isis of masturbation" might be one of the best things I've ever heard.
Shane is the quickest guy ever. These comedians take years to write jokes and he just murders all day
you don't experience witt often, huh 😂
@@Taskforce1 yeah really, just work around and crew of guys in the labor world. Construction, Lawn Care, Pool Care , HVAC, Ive been around it all and the majority of us are crackin jokes every conversation without skipping a beat or ruining the flow. Shane's funny no doubt but his humor is on par for what I'm around all day. Now what separates Shane from Us is the skill to form and write actual jokes and go on stage and putting together 30 mins to an Hour of skilled joke writing where it all weaves in and out without really skipping a beat.
@@antonlifer4449 truest thing I’ve ever read
@@Taskforce1 If I didn't experience wit often how would I know to appreciate it? Shane is impressively quick witted whoever you are. Maybe alot of what he says is going over your head bud. Judging by your simple comment followed by your laughing emoji I'd assume you spend most your time at the kiddy table.
The average blue collar tradesman is funnier than 95% of professional comics.
11:50 “he’s just sitting there, his balls are like a head of cauliflower” Matt is truly one of a kind
"They circumcise baby whales!?" 😰
-Matt
I read this comment with just enough time to think to myself, I wonder how they get there…before hearing just this. Made me laugh so hard i cried
Easily one of the funniest podcast moments 😂
Hearing that reinforced my love of Matt
As soon as they set separate from the head, I'm out 😂. Hell no bro wtf did my parents do to me!
Still rocking my wizard sleeve💯
Proudly.
You should Mohawk it.
Thanks, mom and dad!
Hell yeah dude
One time I saw by Canadian friends, and it scared me.
Is his dick chopped off? Is my dick huge? Either way I’m doing better than him. Little did I know I was chopped
Listening to the breakdown of the circumsision video was like waking up in the middle of the night one night when you're 40 covered in sweat because you just remembered the time you were molested that you had repressed since childhood
How on earth is it like that?
@@therainman7777the feeling of
“Oh god, that happened to me…”
Only legends get it
@lindboknifetool9546 I heard Shane has a micropenis thats uncircumcised
@@lindboknifeandtooland then push it down further and hope it stays down until you croak
It's quite natural to be triggered by the memories of being mutilated
Not gonna lie boys, my circumcision messed my PP up. Got a huge scar on that bad boy now that makes it lean super far over and the scar pops out. Thanks for listening 🙏🏻
Pics or it didn’t happen
I feel like more guys need to know chicks don't care as long as there's no herpe bumps, you're good!
I feel like more guys need to know chicks don't care as long as there's no herpe bumps, you're good!
same, my circ turned my dick into three different colors. tan shaft, then 2 inches of white below the head, pink head. I call it "neopolitan" then I cry
Haha mine didn’t my wiener is nicely cut has a nice trim
The bolt cutters are for Superman's kid 😂
Another one I loved was on o and a with a retired male pornstar. They were all reviewing homemade stuff and one of the boys said "you're not reacting to the BJ at all. Like Superman getting blown."
2:33 "if you drive down the roads in Africa" that's such an American thing to say lmaooooo
Matt was on a roll in this one 😂
Had my oldest cut as a baby and it was the most horrific thing Iv been a part of, couldn’t do it to his younger brother.
dauymn
You should feel ashamed tbh mutilating your child because...? You never thought about it before you decided to cut your child's penis?
That might actually be one of the reasons my dad did that also. Older brother is cut and I am un-cut. And as a 32 year old, I am still forever grateful to my dad for not getting me cut
Talk about being envious of your siblings...
I had two buddies in highschool that were brothers, and their father was a urologist. The older one was cut and the younger uncut. Something changed his mind.
Tell us how you became acquainted with both of their penises.
yeah, his wallet
@@dre009Nope, they still sucker poor people with that shit, my family was borderline penniless when it happened and that fucking quack still talked my mom and dad into it.
How did you know lol
needed more flavour
My foreskin survived 🎉
@Barnaby Jones someone mad they can’t feel pleasure
Damn, I wonder how it feels to have parents not molest you. I'm sure it helped with trusting them later on.
Lol this is too good
Shane, also in the Philippines, it’s not right away it’s actually at like 13 or something like that. It’s insane
Maybe it’s safer that way, by that time the bird and it’s hood should be separated enough. Still wouldn’t want to do it though. Let the dongs be
@@Joppuman They stretch it out onto a tree stump and whack that shit off. Put some chewed guava leaf on that shit and kick it.
Korea and the Middle East also do it later in adolescence. Those males seem to have more allegiance to it because they're involved in the decision, but it's still sexual assault of a minor. A 14-year-old can't consent, especially when getting restrained on a table by family members.
I have a Filipino friend that’s from the Philippines and he said he didn’t get it until he was 13. He also got a botched thyroid surgery there that fucked up his growth.
@@TurdFerguson884 Nope. Him being filipino fucked up his growth
thank you Peepop once again, bedtime stories with the dawgz are my fav
!!!
Peepop coming through when I needed him most. Legendary DAWG.
Believe it or not all that pain at birth can cause mental issues like adhd, lower pain threshold and many other things. If you think about it your flooding the brain with an extreme amount of negative emotions and chemicals at birth, the very first moments you spend on this planet your brain chemistry is immediately altered by the most pain you’ll ever feel. Even if you don’t consciously remember it your body still has physical systems that react the same as if you do remember it. All that pain and negative experience before the brain even starts developing has a terrible effect
Do you have any studies that back that first sentence up?
Yeah ironically circumcision in the US is one of the few things you can’t blame on jews. I was so ready to pin it on them, but when I looked at some census data it was clear that this was a trend before the most significant jewish immigration waves.
lol coming in hot with the Jew hatred. You people are hilarious. If you find yourself being “so ready to blame” something on some particular group, it’s time for some introspection on your biases.
@@therainman7777 It sounds like he did challenge his preconceived notion and admitted his assumption was in fact wrong though
Anyone who ever tries to take a sharp implement to my child's genitals better know kung fu.
I had to have it done when I was 18 because my dad thought the same way when I was a baby😂 I can tell you it's better to get it over with when they're a baby, and not when they're an adult. The recovery was absolute hell. I had problems with mine though. I think that's pretty rare.
@@MilesWilliams88 More people have botched circumcisions than people have issues with their foreskin. Don’t cut your kids, it’s moronic.
@@MilesWilliams88 I dunno man, I don't want my kid's first memories to include the most painful thing imaginable done to you
@@TozWozEar That's the point though. If they're a baby, they won't remember it.
@@MilesWilliams88 and they can't demand their foreskin back
I saw a circumcision in clinical for nursing school. It's horrendous and cruel. No idea why any doctor thinks it's OK to do.
Because it causes sexual dysfunction and infections because no parent wants to finger fuck their kids foreskin every time they need a bath
UDEN
Ever seen a mohel do one? They literally suck the blood off of the tip…. Baby's first BJ combined with some ancient J blood magic ritual ಥ_ಥ
I used to work in a pediatric clinic and had to help with a couple circumcisions. It's pretty fucking horrifying.
This is trippy because last night i got pretty high on the way home from work and had a deep deep thought about this shit. Maybe it’s because it was high but when i thought about it i did feel pretty violated and angry i didnt get a choice.
You’ll get over it lol. Don’t make yourself a victim
ruclips.net/video/XxtELE4E2to/видео.html
Dude, trust me you don't want the choice. My parents didn't have me cut when I was a baby. When I was 18 I started having problems with it. My foreskin never came all the way back, and it hurt like hell to have sex. Needless to say... you do not want that shit done while you're an adult, and can remember the pain. They knock you out during the surgery, but the healing process is fucking hell😂
@@MilesWilliams88 Your donger genes being broken doesn’t mean we should preemptively cut all babies just in case.
@@MilesWilliams88 So cut every baby and sell the parts to cosmetic companies instead.
No more circumcisions
The scene with Hank Azaria in yr one explaining circumcision was classic
Finally went to some open mics. Been killing with a bit about how if Oscar the Grouch were real Chinese people would eat him
Barney too.
Yo that’s a sick premise, keep it up dawg
Holy fucking shit 😂
@@Trundle_TheGreat Thank you man, I've been enjoying it. Wrote jokes for legit 4-5 years before I tried an open mic this year.
If any of you are on the fence of trying an open mic, go to a couple as an audience member, and it might give you the confidence.
@TraGiiXzaze that is really awesome man. I hope you fucking kill it hard!!! What general city are you doing open mic in? (Just wondering) this kinda inspired me too go see open mics
I recently found magnum extacy rubbers. The tip is loose so it moves around and is a night and day difference
All-time great thumbnail right here
What an enlightening cast
The thumbnail with the bolt cutters made me laugh before i even clicked
The true detective reference 😂
Cutting edge convo here
My hardcore babtist granny did not circumsize my dad so Jesus would recognise him 😮
Nice
Hmm... Everything checks out.. wait, what's this? This isn't the penis I gave him. Who is this? What's happening?
This just made me picture Saint Peter at the pearly gates with a magnifying glass making dudes drop trou for the ultimate and final penis inspection day
This one's super personal to me.
Same😂 Had that shit done when I was 18 unfortunately.
@@MilesWilliams88 wtf why??
@@asap5629 My dad talked my mom out of it when I was a baby. He wasn't when he was a baby. I started having problems from it when I was a teen. My foreskin never went back, and it started to hurt when I had sex. I had to either get it done, or feel pain during sex for the rest of my life.
@@MilesWilliams88 roblox sound: 𝙤𝙤𝙛
@@asap5629 Yeah, I don't recommend it.
A cheap circumcision is called a rip off
😂
So weird to me that this is so popular in America. I’m Australian I don’t know anyone who’s circumcised without it being for medical reasons
The fact that there's medical reasons that require it at all is good enough reason to keep doing it. My friend had to get circumcised at 13. What a horribly traumatic situation.
@@Ozhull Well done ignoring that nearly the entire population of Australia has zero urological problems. Meanwhile dozens of Americans die from complications every year, thousands just get mangled without dying, and none of them will ever know what sex actually feels like because they lost their ability to grow a complete nervous system on day one.
@@OzhullThat's like saying we should do pre-emptive appendectomies because people might have their appendix burst later in life
@@VIEWITIScrazy how statistically speaking many Australians have this procedure done 😂. No wonder the Aus population is so low one being their reproductive systems fcking suck
@@Ozhullbotched Circumcisions happen
Loving this.
Uncut duck forever.
@@kelseychristianson128
Oh we have a cheese connoisseur present today. How fancy.
Agreed! Uncut dicks are also my preference for my partners. I find cut ones to be very boring.
Finally the intactivist content i've been searching for
Mine is so big, it has a 50 yard line, so big that even in the summer it still has snow on top...
"If your cut plus the video game like doom" Fucking great line
These thumbnails are magical
Just what I need rn
9:41 "They circumcise baby whales?" 😂
Protect our Parks? More like, Protect our Parts
Just watched a video of a baby getting his hog chopped up. What a glorious Friday night! Have a good weekend dawgs
whoever made that noise at 14:24 😂😂😂😂
This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
So basically because I was circumcised.... that probably explains why my jerk off prep looks like the final fight in kickboxer
I got a 150lb Alaskan malamute, bro has a HOG on him. It’s shockingly large, he knows it too
Ew dude
My body is ready
This guys page is giving me life
You know some Moyl is slinging keychains and hair scrunchies at 20% off
I bet you had fun with this photo edit 😉
They say that you lose sensitivity n stuff so I’m envious. Cuz as a cut dude it already feels dope lol so y’all must go crazyyyy lol
It's weird how American men are circumcised. In the UK it's simply not done, same in all other western countries. America is the only western country that practises circumcision.
It's a racket. Another bill to add to the childbirth and scan costs....
Yeah the idea that you’re basically molested as an infant to get a cosmetic surgery you didn’t even want makes sick and my kid won’t be Circumcised like me.
Weirdest thing is a lot of mothers are super ok with it with NO Evidence of this "procedure" doing anything good at all. This is going to be considered barbaric in 15-20 years
@@griffin.xxxxxx yep. Ive only had a daughter but if I ever have a son, the circumcision line in my family will end with me.
Not the only western country if you count Israel (basically Europeans), Korea (basically America of the Far East), and the Phillipines (another America of the Far East). Australia, Canada, and South Africa also still have galling rates. It is almost 0% in a sane society where the outliers are tried in court for sexual assault and malpractice.
Bill Gates knows exactly what he's doing...
Pretty sure this was gonna be longer but they cut it shorter
“Baby’s can get rock hard” is a sentence I never needed to hear uttered…. EVER 😅😅😅😅😅
Not the bolt cutters😂
Brutal.
I had a botched circumcision. Nothing impacting, but when the doctor stitched it up there was a crevice(idk) that filled with dead cells over the years. This was resolved when I was like 8. Needless to say my son is not circumcised
I still have my turtleneck. They call me the anteater.
Hell yea brother
I'm Australian and they took it from me without asking when I was a baby.
Don't know where it is right now but it might turn up. Stranger things have happened.
Maby some old nurse has a collection she chews on to relax while watching NCIS.
don't quit your day job bro
Typical not funny aussy
@@OhHeBustinIt was actually pretty funny
Your local rabbi may have it in his collection
The foreskin of a newborn baby (in other countries at least) is used for skin cream that runs for 10's of thousands of dollars a bottle. Sandra Bullock and Ellen talked about it openly on her show. Of course, the unwilling donors don't see a dime.
Lmao I was thinking “whales” too
Incredible thumbnail
Google metzitzah b'peh 🤢
You sayin there’s something wrong wit nibblin on baby teenis?
@@philthh Not for gods chosen...
Shane loves Boondock Saints
Good job putting some light on this. Terrible stuff.
Shane’s on to something with the circ’d -> school shooter correlation
Fellas we got another bedtime story
The cut of the before/after they watch the video is so loud lmfao
Yeah middle school was weird in the early 2000s. Literally everyone was cut that I saw in the locker room.
Scouting hard or hardly scouting?
Lmfao, I know a kid who got bullied into getting cut.😂😂😂
HOODIE GANG 😎 🙏
I’ve convinced 2 of my friends not to do this to there sons. It’s legal torture that was done to slaves to stop reproduction and to show them they are lesser. This practice needs to be completely striked from the social zeitgeist. The only argument for it with any merit, is the idea that it makes your dick easier to be kept clean. Yet this idea treats men as if they don’t have the common since to pull back the skin and wash when bathing, so its “merit” is minuscule. It’s cosmetic a best and child mutilation at worst. Just because that choice was taken from you as a child and you don’t want to come to terms with it. Doesn’t mean you need to continue the horrific and torturous practice on your own children.
If cutting things off to keep them clean made any sense then we'd live in stainless steel boxes with no furniture, fingernails, or eyelids.
Wow, no I actually just have a circumcised dick and it's fine and it doesn't look weird. You and this guy clearly must have a weird dick, which is a bummer but it's not the case for everyone.
Chill bro.
Well current procedure’s definitely do not stop men from reproducing, as 81% of aged 14-50 males in the US are cut. Foreskin can cause problems, such as a higher risk of UTI and cancer. Many teen boys have to get circumcised later in life because foreskin can block the urethra if it’s too long, even while erect.
@@thegh0ul_ Sounds like you're coming to grips with your trauma. It's okay, we were all mutilated. Just don't let anyone do it to your boys.
This is such a phucked up episode man 😧
Shane’s world is being shattered 🫡
Eric Clopper Sex & Circumcision covers this very well. It's disgusting and needs to be rooted out.
Anteater detected
@@whisperingeye4968 loud and proud, brother
This was some serious dong history and science.
MSSP: Circ du soleil
Matt has skin in the game on this one
Automatic click when I read the tittle of this😭😭😭😭
anteater gang
I'm gonna have to re-read this a few times, sorry... *Listen
The dong wax lol
insane
yo I started watching this Russian movie about the end of the soviet/ afghan war and it started out with an unfiltered circumcision for some reason and fuck that shit, no way Id put my kid even as a baby thru that even tho Im circ'd
I will not sit here and be subjected to this anteater propaganda.
You guys ever seen Peter Jackson’s King Kong? Those worm things are what uncircumcised rods remind me of
Those worms eating the cook alive was tight.
You mean natural? direct your anger at your cock mutilators, not your fellow men who avoided such an affliction
18:07 I just started crying. Literally. I did not want to do this to my baby! My stupid ex-husband demanded it, and then wouldn’t go to the fucking appointment so I had to! And he was an awful husband yeah, but I will always hate him forever more because of this
Trust me. Your son is grateful. If you think I’m full of it then look up anyone who got an adult circumcision and see what they have to say.
Also your son will not really think about what is not there... and he wont have to deal with constant dick cheese
Adam Zeldis sounds a lot like Leather Apron Club.
It just looks better
Hooded warriors unite
This episode is physically paining me I just barely made it halfway through the vid
Damn son!