@@ileensosa4406 Exactly.. No benefits to dating a women with kids. Its dangerous and the man will never be number 1 but the woman wants to be number 1 to you. The IRONY!!!! I agree and even if you dont have a family already then you can make your own.
I dated a single mom once and was at a work function (we worked together). Her kid was annoying some of my coworkers by running through them, bumping into them and just being a general nuisance. She saw what a pain he was being and did nothing about it. I asked the kid to stop and my girlfriend pulled me aside to rip me a new a**hole for disciplining her child. Later on that day he was playing on some rocks and fell hurting himself pretty badly. She then ripped me another a**hole for not stopping him. I broke it off soon after and never dealt with single mothers again. Too much trouble
I agree with you, I've dated single fathers and have gone through similar experiences expected to be a mother figure cook and clean for them and as long as I'm praising and uplifting the child things were good but as soon as I say no or try to correct them verbally I would get you're not their mom. Never again with single dads for me.
As a woman i am not angry with any man who refuse to date single mothers. Men have a right to their preference. Its some kind of entitlement to ask a man to be ' the man of the house' but your children ( who's not his) is out of limits. He must house them, feed them, protect them but can't discipline them? Thats a senseless woman and no self respecting man will sign up for this BS.
Only single mother that I ever dated in my life had a really good conversation with me when things were getting serious. The conversation was about the child. I told her that a mother and child was a package deal. If I was going to be the husband and dad in this, that I was going to be the husband and the dad in this. We've been married over 29 years and we have raised two wonderful young men. They aren't perfect just like me. They do however get out of bed everyday and work to support themselves and their families. The child that I was referring to last week while we were all out to dinner celebrating his brother's 25th birthday, well he slipped away and paid for everything before the dinner was over. He said it was his way to say thank you.
@@professionalpookiemay I suggest hooked on phonics for your reading difficulties or perhaps some Adderall for your lack of attention span. 🤔 Possibly both
I disagree bc many women in the past got over this. Yes it’s biologically but if you respect the man and understand his role, then it’s needed. Plus men and women have a different struggle. A woman can easily get taken of while a man need to learn to take care
Here something else to ask. Ladies stop saying your kids done need a father if he’s not in the home. If that bf, dad, bff, fwb ran out of the house during a break in and your kids died you will hate that man!!! So at the least have you and kids respect him. Bc women and kids are a first target in bad scenario!!!
12 years ain’t no bait n switch my guy. I bet it was u who was begging her. U were of a no use to her after her kids became self sufficient 🤣🤣. Thanks for ur service my g. Single moms need more men like u
Guys, I went through this as a stepfather. My Ex Stepson tried to buck up at me when he was a teenager. I checked him real quick. His father call talking $#!+. I told him ok. Give me your address and I will ship him to you. "Crickets- Crickets" He was silent after that. Guys DO NOT date and definitely DO NOT marry a single mother.. Not worth it!!!
💯 true. I had married men tell me that and all I can do is say okay. And one told me how he was disciplining a child and it could have landed him in jail bc you being a man need to control your anger bc there are laws that protect kids. Like when we was little we got popped in the mouth at the store. Now a days you can’t even say anything bc it could be verbal abuse. If it’s not your child I would just let the parent handle it and go somewhere to mind my business.
I was dating a woman and she wanted me to help with her son as for getting him to listen and just mind. He was dozing off and I told him to go lay in his bed so he started crying and she ran in the living room and got sassy and wanted to k ow what I said/did to her son. I was like nah I ain’t with this shit!
I dated a SM once and all I did was tell her son to stop disturbing the other guests at a work function. He was running through people, screaming etc thinking it was cute because her family encouraged it. She tore me new one for “disciplining her child”. Ended it soon after
.I agree AS A CHILDLES MAN Never again i was not allowed to.discipline her kids and she let.them ruin my car seats and apartment and she said nothing to them and when i did she screamed at me saying "youre not their father".i dumped her on the spot Never again. EVER
To be honest I’m starting not to like single mothers as girlfriends either. They have patterns in their friendships as well. They never really bring anything to friendships, use kids as a reason to not show up in friendships and every conversation feels like a therapy session. Get higher vibrations from my non mom girlfriends 🤷🏽♀️
My stepfather is amazing. He took us on and continues to treat us as his own. Thats b/c my mother allowed him to do so. To the haters: #1: A man that married a woman with children doesn't do so, b/c he has 'no other options ". Y'all have to stop with this narrative that men or women who take on a spouse with children is somehow just desperate and willing to settle for anyone or anything. It's the hardest thing in the world to bring a blended family together and make them one. It takes a special kind of love and respect to care for children that aren't biologically yours. #2: YES! "Allowed"... him to be a parent in every way. You can't ask someone to take on your child or children, be responsible for them financially, physically and emotionally then, turn around and demand that they don't discipline them. It doesn't work. So yes! The biological parent MUST ALLOW the new spouse/stepparent to be a parent in every way. In my case, my father passed when I was 9yrs old so, there wasn't another parent to challenge my step dad. However, if the other parent is still living and involved then, both biological parents have to agree about what role the stepparent will play. They still have to allow that person to be a parent to their kids 3: A woman who won't allow her spouse to be a parent to her kids but, wants them to be financially responsible...isn't looking for a husband/father. She's looking for a bank account. A man who allows the women in his life to dictate the type of father he is to his children is a Simp. There's no way in hell a real father is going to allow anyone to dictate the when, where, how and why of his parenting. 4: It's one thing to have multiple kids with multiple partners and then expect to find someone that will take them on. It's completely different to deal with a person who has divorced or is widowed and has kids. Just because the relationship that produced your kids didn't work doesn't mean you don't deserve another relationship or your kids don't deserve the love and support of another parent. 5: Almost a third of the Black community is under 30 and we have whole generations that are practically missing when you compare the numbers to other ethnicities. If you continue to shame people for taking on spouses w/kids, you are basically condemning us to remaining a broken culture. Children don't thrive without support and stability. If you continue to shame those who are willing to love and support kids they didn't make. Then you are also preventing those children from having stable 2 parent households that their biological parents clearly weren't capable of providing.
Exactly!!! your mother allowed him to do so… is the key sentence it’s always the mothers fault when the children r disrespectful to a stepfather n then act like she is surprised but she is really the1 that planted the seeds of hate for a innocent step father privately in the children minds,although the biological father been MIA,n sometimes she doesn’t want the children to c her loving another man besides there father because she already told them she will never leave there father we will always b a family n she will always love there father forever now they c her with a new man,it really sounds bad but w*men need to stfu!!! that hole in there faces leaves a trail of chaos n destruction to everything she touches not even them kids know who there daddy is when she pass through
This is one reason why it didn't work with my ex. Didn't wanna discipline that damn kid. Then I found Kevin Samuels right after I ended it. Perfect timing.
Brother you told nothing but the truth..I tried to date a single mom with 2 young kids! Never again..horrible experience..one day I was sitting there thinking 🤔..what the hell I’m doing..
Dated a single mom for a month and i dodged a huge bullet... The baggage and trauma she projected on me daily was sickening... The first time I also got a dose of feminism and how it caused massive brain rot. Protect your peace at all times kings.
Yeah that sounds good but you have other men online literally telling men not to marry because it's a scam.and to sleep around til the early dawn.... you where the issue lies, to many men are giving out different messages and that don't lead men as a group into a positive direction.
@@Micnify indeed when ppl marry with responsibility they leave behind insurance, ssi & pension etc… So the living spouse will have financial support and not need for the next spouse to take on that responsibility😇
@@williampresley4945 wow ur name are the same in reverse but very tru, times are changing rapidly. And men are realizing there time and resources are valuable.
I know that situation. I dated a single mother of 2 for about 2-3 years. I was one of the only male father figures they had. They were 1 & 3 when we started dating. When we broke up, it's like you break up with the kids, too, and they don't understand the situation. I worked security at the health center, & the daughter (now 5 at the time) came I'm for immunizations. She ran to my desk, all happy to see me. She showed me she started learning how to write her name, then she asked me why I didn't come around anymore and asked was I mad at her. She promised to treat her little brother nicer if it would make me proud of her and come back & stay with them. I had to leave my post & collect myself after that. It was heartbreaking.
My dad actually ran into this situation with my stepmom for a long time. My stepsister was young like really young and grew up to be a real brat for a while and my dad was never allowed to set rules or punishments or anything because "that's not your daughter" but it was his daughter when he was needed to provide support or money or anything like that. I can definitely see why men would avoid single mothers with all these cautionary tales
@@user-vx7vc3me3c that is such a weird assumption. I have been a monogamous married man since I was 21 years old. Just because your father was irresponsible and didn't love you, doesn't mean all fathers are the same. My point still stands. Single mothers have almost zero value.
I’ve done the step father thing and I dealt with the same thing for many years. I don’t recommend it. All things including how kids felt to precedence over me and my thoughts. After years I stopped giving my opinions and taking on any types of responsibility. She had it easy when I was involved now she does all by her self. Don’t do it fellas.
I've never dated a single mother before. Just by reading your comment, i can discern your pain. I actually believe you... It's a no no hell no for me...
Damn damn damn (Martin Lawrence voice) recently met this chick with 4 kids. Nice phat ass pretty AF. First time smashing she tried to go raw dog I screamed like Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣 was like oh Sh!t she trying to trap my ass
I can't relate. There's another side to this story. I been married to my wife for over 22 years and my daughter was 4 years old when I met her mother. My wife never got in between and stopping from leading the house. My wife trust me. If a woman won't allow you to teach or correct her child she don't trust you and you should never be in a trustless relationship.
Same situation same age when we met. I am dad thats that. If I wasn't id be out. It ain't her fault he split. Some people start out good and become useless. Id choose it the same to do it again. Kids need fathers and two parent homes.
No because I'm the provider n my son will listen to my girlfriend because I say so...do not compare single fathers to single moms..men n women are not the same
Nah people should date who they want. It’s different with a single father cause most times the woman doesn’t have to step in and financially take care of that child.
@@nathankomosa8928 you are such a typical selfish single father. I’ve dated single dad’s lol why the hell would I want to be second when I can come first to a man who doesn’t have kids? You’re a parent regardless of your gender and your finances will ALWAYS be tied up with your kid because you’re a parent. (Finances, time, resources etc will always be tied up) You’re selfish and pathetic! The fact that a single and childfree woman has to explain this to you… I feel sorry for your son. Stick to dating single moms. You’ll save bundles together and can go on family trips with each other. Plus you all can go back to school shopping together and save money. 🤣🤣🤣
@@emayan06 I’m saying this as someone who’s dated single dads. It really isn’t any different. It’s the exact same and or sometimes worse. You can go ahead and date whoever you want, but nope. I stand 100 toes down on single and childfree women SHOULD NOT DATE SINGLE DADS.
All single moms aren't like that. In my experience being a step dad, me & my stepson got along great. The mom never went the 'that's MY baby' route. He never said 'u ain't my daddy' either(bcuz I met his mom when he was a preteen). It CAN work but she HAS to have ur back when it comes to discipline.
@@andrealustig3547 what a silly analogy from both of you. You would spend that 100 and not care about it and then it’s gone you don’t keep it because you only wanna use it for it’s worth and get rid of it asap, but it’s not a good hundred. 🙄🥴 (basically sleep with the woman and move on she’s worth the sex but not worth keeping around because she’s not as good as others) So as the men have said. Single mothers are fun to use but not to keep. It sounds bad but if you were in their position you would think and act the same. It really is a bad deal taking it on. I can’t see why women have such a hard time seeing it. A better analogy is maintaining your next door neighbours car and they drive it badly. Pure expensive and headache for you with no benefit.
@@jnrrobinson5989because males like that lie about the the number of children they have and it easy for them to do because the children are usually in the custody of mom.
This is how I feel about dating a man with a child. I’m currently experiencing this and also the mother has a problem as well and I’m completely starting to be over it!
as a young man I advise you to leave, leave that man and go date a childless partner like you. just be happy that man didn't demand financial contribution and material contributions like how some Baby mama's demand that from man cause they are a "package deal"
Wise choice. You didn't need to be dealing with any children you got life to live planes to catch etc etc etc. Men like this are tired and can't keep their hands to themselves and pick the type of women they have to leave, more time lying to young girls. Beware of ppl with no wisdom but plenty judgement. Stay safe 💖
First off, dude should not move into her place right off the bat. Second, take time to get to know her and her child before you think about moving in. Third, while you’re getting to know each other, be having conversations about disciplining her child. Fourth, “man of the house” doesn’t mean king of the castle, dictator, boss or tyrant. Fifth, before you assume responsibility for her child, be taking care of your own.
There’s something called communication. When dating a single parent you need to discuss as adults and establish boundaries when it comes to discipline, finances, etc. There should not be a double standard if both parties value and respect each other.
@@snowfrosty1 I have to disagree with you on that. I personally know very nice ladies who are single moms, they’re good people, financially independent and in good shape and they actually don’t even date anymore because of the stereotypes men insist on putting on them. For your information, there are a lot of irresponsible men out there who despite being in their 30s, 40s, 50s, just want to treat women like objects and go around spreading hate because these types of women see into their game and don’t give them the time to the day. It’s really sad, though, because men and women complement each other and life is better with a partner.
Nah snowfrosty is right. Single mothers generally have personality disorders or are toxic and make awful decisions thus why they are single mothers. Unless the woman is a widow or got out of a marriage; the rest are toxic
I went through this a step father and then I came to a realization thanks to Pastor Stephen Darby. I am a man and I will discipline children I provide for. As long as I don’t abuse them
My stepfather was a great man. I had no problem calling him my father in front of my biological father. Not all single women are that way. Men just need to choose accordingly. Both sides need to be held accountable. My mother was my father and had her own, didn't expect any man to come and do anything but love her family unconditionally. She had things covered from front to back and that's the double truth Ruth. My stepfather didn't have to punish us for the simple fact, my mom's raised my siblings and I in a certain way. With that being said, men pay more attention to how the kids treat their mother before you commit.
@@titoazua3120 Believe it not, I am one of those women. When my marriage broke up, because of abuse and infidelity, I took the full responsibility for taking care of my children. I let the man know that everything was on when you walked in here and will be when you leave. I also raised my children to respect themselves well as the man. If more men or women took responsibility for their own that they helped bring into this world , it would be a lot easier . Every situation has their different set of circumstances. Single parenting most of the time not the first choice. Man or woman we want what's best for our children. Just remember, if you want someone to help you, give them respect as well as your children. If not, man or woman leave. I would.
Well if it’s HER family.., and SHE had everything covered.. that sounds like all about her. I hear ONLY TRUE RESPECT for your mother, you just made your stepfather sound like one of her children and not a man. If your mom raised you a certain way .., then she DONT NEED NO MAN to take on all that baggage from ANOTHER MANS SEED AND FAMILY! She got it all held down??? Well she needs to keep it all to herself then.., because although your comment sounds good on the surface.., when you actually examine it.., all I see is .. YOU SIR, MR STEPDAD, are the OUTSIDER IN OUR FAMILY.., as long as you never interfere with OUR FAMILY, or EVER BUT INTO OUR BUSINESS AND FAMILY DYNAMIC.., then we cool… we don’t need your input as a man.., we don’t need your voice as a man.. my mama got this .. so you do what my mama instructs you to do.. and that only.. and everything will be good!!! SON.. your MAMA IS THE MAN not your stepdad… thats what I heard in your comment!!! Yes your stepfather was a great man.. and he sounds like a man that should have found him a single woman with NO CHILDREN so he could have his own children and own family.., because you made it very clear.., you and your family belong to your mother..,not to him.., and that good man should have been raising HIS OWN FAMILY AND HIS OWN CHILDREN.. and not some other man’s family..
I don’t know why, but for the longest I had the thought I’d end up marrying a mother with a child, I just had sympathy for a single mother. Praise God it didn’t happen!!!! Now I’m a married man to a childless woman and we about to have OUR first child 😁
It’s the savior complex. A lot of us have it. Single moms love to say “I don’t need a man. I’m strong and independent”. Then reality strikes and these women can’t even change a light bulb. Not only do you have to be the man of the house and provide you have to take care of some other man’s offspring.
@@BlackNerdist We Won't! But if it were t happen we both share custody of the son... she won't have greater custody, unless she decides she's going to lie about me.
When you love your child you’re grateful and happy to have as many people love him and try to steer him right as possible. You also do your best to keep the family in tact. A lot of women are selfish.
@Stop Simping T.V Thank you there’s more of me popping up everyday The tide is turning. We’re sick of the 304’s and fem 🐖 making our men so miserable. A lot of women understand that we need you more than you need us. And we’re getting louder and louder, we’re not afraid of the mob of angry 🐖s anymore. We want family values and a healthy society again. They can all go to an island and live with the simps! Ha!
I have a situation I am in now. I became a single mother, when I left the father of my child because of my irresponsibility of not knowing him to well he took advantage of me when I let my gaurd down and boom i found I was pregnant. Soon after, I started seeing he was very toxic, so I left no more than 10wks pregnant. Got myself together for my baby and it was me and baby til I had my own place and decided to kinda date. I met this who I thought was wonderful person I vibed with and we been together since baby was 7months old we had another baby together but dude definitely knew he never wanted anything long term with me but I didn't know that and I fell for him and he didn't, so now I am bitter because I thought this man would love me. Both of OUR daughters will forever have him in their lives, but now my love life is over, and I will never get the chance to really find the one. Who was wrong in the situation?
FACTS!! As a man that was in this very situation, I can tell you 💯 this is EXACTLY true, a it is the reason I will never encourage my future son to date or marry a single mother... ever!
@@aishajohnson3536 Most women if you are fighting with them or having a bad fight which happens the baby daddy is right there to comfort her and blow her back out
That’s not every man, some men don’t mind embracing that stepdad role. It’s the mother who has to agree with that, you can’t have a man with no authority over your child. At some point there needs to be trust that I’m the man and I’m here for everybody to succeed.
You was talking to a bum dear. I’m a single mom of one . I work 50+ hours a week. I’m not on any type of welfare and have never asked a man for any money including my sons father. The whole point is all women aren’t like this. I would like to get married one day but everyone makes it seem like being a single is the worst thing in the world . I don’t need a man to come save me I want a genuine connection and real love.
@@dreamergangceo He can do whatever he wants to do. If a man doesn’t want to date a single mother he doesn’t have to. My whole point of responding to his post was just to say all women are like that. I’m very self sufficient and never ask a man for anything with a child . That is all !
@@twylamoses1471 women always say that, though you may not ask, no man is gonna do for you and not do for your child as yall are a package deal, just really wanted to know the pros and cons so to speak if you dont have children and you're coming into a situation with someone who does
I dated a single mother of 3, two girls and a boy that was back in 97 the boy was hardheaded as hell but it all changed when I whooped his ass his mom couldn't say nothing. His mom and I been married now for 23 years now that boy that I beat loves me dearly he's 37yrs old now he calls me his dad
Well I come from a blended family and my dad and step mom have given me a lot of advice because I have one too and it takes patience and two people that truly want to make it work And that single mother has to truly trust that man to be over her kids My advice to men is to not allow the children to disrespect you and when there is an issue go tell your woman and agree together on the consequences and confront that child it has to be a united front I am extremely thankful to god that I have a husband that was extremely patient with me from the beginning and knew upfront how crazy I was when it came to my child but he stood by my side and I completely trust him with my child and our children together I hope this gives the single mothers in the comments some hope find a mentor find someone that went through the same thing and made it work DO NOT TAKE ADVICE FROM SINGLE WOMEN AND SINGLE MEN THEY WILL KEEP YOU SINGLE
If married people were so great at advice.., why are y’all divorced, why are you single mothers, why are there multiple fathers in the picture, why are you married folks sleeping around so much with everybody, why are your households out of order and FULL of dysfunction and chaos??? There are so many trifling marriages and jacked up families out here .., MARRIED PEOPLE don’t have the corner of the market on advice or relationships.. period!!! SINGLE FOLKS have some of the best advice.. and some of the most integrity.. while all the married folks are out here wild’n out being the reality!!! Good Advice is just GOOD ADVICE no matter of your married or single.., it’s all about the character, integrity, and experience of the one giving the advice!!!! Married folks kill me acting like they’re better than single folks .., YOURE NOT!!!!!!
Yup don't know what's going on in someone else's house to be making all those assumptions, unless you know them. I think listening to the children of single parents and married couples that make it work makes total sense.
I’m a single mother and I can say my relationships are completely separate from my children unless we’re talking about moving forward and cohabiting. So far no problems. Discipline will be discussed before the children are introduced. I respect my partner and would never put him in a situation where my children embarrass him with poor behavior.
This what I don’t understand when men are saying this or giving their past experiences of dating single mothers… First off, if you are in the dating stage with that woman why are her children being brought around you? You as a MAN should be questioning that, you need to be vetting that woman’s character. Especially, if you know you’re not going to be taking her serious. Women with children don’t bring your child around this man if this a random you are just “kicking it” with. Secondly, he should not be moving in WITH YOU! Why is a grown man moving in with YOU?? If you two have established that marriage is the final step, and you get MARRIED then you two move in together. Not as boyfriend/girlfriend! Also, be sure to vet these men before you even think about bringing your child around. You don’t want to be bringing different men around children or in your house, period. And when the time is appropriate for you to introduce your child to that man WATCH how that man builds rapport with your child, how he handles your child, is the man comfortable being around your child? Is your child comfortable being around this man?? As a single mother, the dating game is not the same for us. We have to be even more strategic and discerning when we date. There is a process to this type of dating. Most men NOT all see single mothers as a “good time” to have sex with. Don’t get caught up! Be strategic and intentional when dating as a single mom. ✨✨
You give some good advice. I personally don’t date single moms because I have no kids and it wouldn’t make sense but it’s been many times I’ve seen women try to use sex as a way to convince a man to like them and that makes it easy for that man to use them 🤦🏿♂️
It doesn't matter. My step kids were good kids. But as soon as it didn't work out with mom, it's like the 8 years of being a father to them didn't happen. They act like they don't even know you. It's just not worth it single men. Avoid baby mothers. Lol
In the beginning stages of dating YOU shouldn’t even be bringing your child around a random that you know it won’t lead to anything serious i.e marriage. When you have a child and you are dating you have to move differently and be more strategic about what you are doing. You should be dating with intentions and purpose. I will not be bringing my son around a dude I know might not take me serious or I won’t be taking him serious. Vet these men before you bring an innocent child into the picture. Many men will play it off and say “I don’t mind dating a woman with a kid(s)” but in the back of their mind they know they are just dating her to have sex they look at her as a “good” time. Don’t get caught up. Be transparent with your situation and communicate what you are looking for and how you are dating with the purpose of marriage in the end IF that’s something you want. Otherwise, if not leave yo kids out of the situation. Have a good time and that’s that.
Never date a woman with kids. You will always be last, and be the first to pay when things go wrong with her and her kids. You're not going to be able to discipline them even if they need it.
No sorry, some of us just want some respect time attention and we would give it back 10 fold. I am a single mother my man does not pay for a damn thing dor my daughter in fact i refuse to takr any money of him aside from the amount he lived on when single.....i dont involve him in any issues wih my ex infact my ex is off the scene which is good thats not my choice btw. I give my man my time, affection cook bake fix his plate, i look after him when hes sick in regard to disipline i sort it...he doesnt get involved and my child is well behaved anyways....some of us unfortunately picked wrong and i tried so hard with my wx offered weekends never asked for child support just something toward raising her asked for half toward clothijg activities etc even said i would show him receipts for items purchased....he refused....so please dont tar us all with the same brush
@@erniechipdouglas9779 you're one out of a million....so the best advice to young men is to stay away from single moms...cause finding someone like you is next to impossible
I CANNOT stand the over generalizations of single mothers. I for one am NOT the single mother most refer to. First, my children are HIGHLY respectful and well behaved because for one, I respect my children and discipline them out of love. We have a very close and open relationship. Still... momma don't play! We are not peers. For another, if my children are out of line and/or need to be taught/redirected... if your intentions are to also discipline them out of love, then please by all means, DO SO. My problem with women who say no to this is, WHY would you be ok dating and sleeping with a man but have a problem with this same man disciplining your children?? The math ain't mathing... If he's good enough for your temple, then he should be solid enough to discipline your children. And if not, YOU'RE the problem. NOT the man. Don't bring around men you can't trust to be good examples for your children. Period.
Oh my goodness, say it again bro! I did that stupid sh*t of marrying a single mother in my mid 20's, worst mistake of my life! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT DO THIS! LEAVE SINGLE MOTHERS ALONE. They're mad all the time, broke, in debt, still mad at the baby daddy because of what he did, didn't do, said, or didn't say and blame you for everything. "Those are not your children, but you better pretend like they are. Buy and pay for everything they need but I say what goes and doesn't go". Did I get that right ladies? Fellas, stay clear of them!!
You keep the relationship separate until you believe it's gonna be long term and you agree on general parenting. Then if you trust him with you and your life trust him to be a father.
It's not that simple there's another important party is the biological father, I'll pas. Men stepping in taking care of another man's responsibility is part of the reason woman feel so comfortable being a part of the present babymama culture. They even had a "stepdaddy season" hashtag last year
I’m 61yo, my Mother was a single mom with two kids. I never saw my Dad. And I hated any Man my Mom went with, especially the ones trying to step in to be my father.
Yup. That’s the side of single motherhood blk women don’t want to talk about. They only care the push the ‘strong independent and don’t need no man’ narrative.
@@IBO85 My Mom had no problem dating. She wasn’t the perfect Mother and didn’t want kids. Plus she gave me up to another family for five years. I’m good!
Sorry ladies Most Men that don't have kids do not want to date a single mother. I Will NEVER!!!! Date or take a single mother serious for a relationship. That's a NO! Deal Breaker! This is a No Single Mother Zone over here
Y’all be finding these complicated ass people I swear. 😂I’m a single mother and my husband was a single father when we met, boundaries were set, no secrets withheld, we established what we wanted for each other, our kids became the best of friends and neither side had drama when entering the relationship. We got married, had kids of our own and got 12 years in. It doesn’t have to be complicated, y’all attract nothing but people who don’t know what they want expect a hole to fill.
This maybe true, but is an unfair generalization. I was divorced (husband abandoned completely) and single with 2 small children. My children were well taught & disciplined. Met a man with no children we married and had another son together. All my children call him dad and respect him. He doesn't physically discipline them, but I do, but I have never had issues with them respecting him. We've haven't been perfect, but everyone is respected and no children are treated better than others. It took time but it can work if everyone grows up and loves the children right.
I met a woman who had 4 kids when she met her man. He had 3 children. I remember her telling me that allowing him to come in and discipline her children was one of the hardest decisions of her life, but she stepped aside, made sure that he wasnt abusing her kids and let him lead. They have been married for over 50yrs now and have had many more kids together. Its possible to blend families, but many people are to superficial and immature to navigate through the weeds.
@@MrsLegitParttwo don't worry about that crap their talking, if we don't date single moms then our choices of women are gonna be very very very slim, I would like to find a single mom with younger kids so I can be a part of their life, there are Stupid men & Stupid women that be saying, "don't have another ninja around my child, that's crazy as hell
@@MrsLegitParttwo Everytime they complain about men who don't date single moms they're trying to make you do it. Otherwise they'd shut up and deal with the ones who do want them.
I guess things were different when I was growing up my mom married my step father when I was 7 and he was the man of the house. My SD and my mom made the rules and both dished out punishments. My mom and I were a package deal
Now I'm in a relationship where I am financially supporting a child that that isn't biologically mine and the mother is not in the picture but I have absolutely no say in anything. The child runs our home. My boyfriend and I quit even trying to go out together cause if we do we are made to feel bad.
@@hillarybruns8649 wtf are you doing that for and than complaining here about it? You talking like your situation happens alot....It doesn't, you shouldn't be with a "man" that let's you pay for everything ....what's more common is single moms wanting a man for everything and not giving nothing in exchange but puzzy
Things were definitely different a while back. There was a time when single moms were single moms because the father bailed or died. Now most of them know they can trade the father for a child support payment and keep screwing around with different men.
As a single mother, I do not have men around my children. A man cannot even meet my children unless we're committed. Once I fully trust my man he can lead me and the children
Started talking with a divorced single mother. It lasted 2 whole days before her crazy expectations started coming out, it's sad but true. Don't waste your time
Same reason I didn’t want to date a man with children when I didn’t have any but was told that I was wrong for feeling how I felt,the door swings both ways
@Rubin Telcy I'm 51 and I haven't consistently seen dudes with full custody. So it's kinda hard to say. Usually dudes and their kids are in different households. I'd like to see a larger sample size.
@@doclew28 Even with children in the same household, the woman coming into the situation is not financially responsible for anything. She had way less of an investment with that man’s children. So what right does she have to parent those children when she’s not really doing anything for them. There’s a major difference b/w a step father vs a step mother.
I can still hit my BM not because I think I can but because she let me know I could and if I wasn’t tryna do better with D discipline I prolly would. Men have to be careful it’s not safe
If the roles are reversed I'd feel the same way I stay away from men who already have kids...its just ss hard on us single women. That's a two way street.
@@benedictelunda1863 not the same....women usually don't come into a men's life paying all the bills 🙄 and we are not so fragile about letting a women discipline our kids
I'm glad I decided to get married. We love and support each other and work to make things comfortable for each other. We're young (early and mid 30) and we have two kids. We have our issues and will possibly have them until we can't stand each other any longer, but for now, we both understand the importance of having both parents in the house. For the most part we both lacked that growing up, and of course, in hindsight, it had major disadvantages. Watching my boy and girl grow this early (3&1) is showing me that no one can help my children deal with what I brought to his and her table, without me. There are things I can see in my children that no one is able to see because that part of them, is ME, and only I know me, like me! I have a mastermind style of learning/execution and without proper guidance I used it for the worst reasons. I'm felonied out 🤦🏾♂️😄. Now, and I know it sounds common place, but my son (3) is a fucking savant!! 😆. He's lightyears away from ABC/123. He's the only 3yr old reading 3 and 4 syllable words (teaching himself and sounding out words) in his school, his book shelf is his toy box and hes counting to 200 for shits and giggles. His daycare is astounded by how progressive he is 😄. We are very proud parents - _But_ He _is_ His Father's child. It's my responsibility to my son's mental health and civic duty to the world to guide this potencial wrecking ball because along with the gifts I also see the curses. Its honestly scary knowing how habits, emotions, and trigger points in life works. Our habits bleed into our kids "potencial" interests e.g. "generational curse" stuff. I now wish I had someone that could peep my moves and have given me a few cheat codes... I can't wait to see what his sister brings. Shes a die-hard Daddies girl 💪🏾these days but I honestly hope turns out more like her mother 😄. Its not easy having kids but with two parents this is way more fun than not, for everyone. For the fathers that haven't spent time with their kids, for whatever reason- fix it- at all costs. I left my family once. For 4 months while my daughter was on the way. In that little time I lost so much time with my son and at that time I didnt want another child 😔 but I couldnt shake it. I came back home. Me leaving and coming back was probably one of the best things for my Wife and I. I think it only worked bc no other woman, or man, was involved. It was just us and our kids. Our ideals, skills, and interests bleed into our egg and seeds and being that we've worked through a lot of the kinks, together, we can save them time and possibly a little heartache. I couldnt imagine having a different life, thinking, "Im doing better on my own for my babies", not being able to live it with my babies 🤦🏾♂️. You're super cool for reading this 😎👍🏾
Thanks for your comment. The last sentence was priceless. Good dads/step dads don't get the credit they deserve. Too much talk is given about lovers and deadbeats. I'm happy your story went the way it did. Life and living isn't for the lazy. Anything worth having is worth working hard for. 👍🏼
I don't know what kinda women yall deal with but my dad is my step-dad and this was never an issue in my household. Yall see these red flags in these women but yall move forward anyway.
Your Stepdad is from the older generation too, And I bet he did not have multiple baby mamas either. Like today's Generation Either. I understand what you are saying, It's a different era of people Now.
@@Mr.Atlanta850 what changed tho? And it's funny how a man won't date single mothers but yall be having 7 different baby mama's and expect the new female to have to deal with all of them fucked up personalities.... let's talk about that.
Speak the same way on single fathers. I dated one for 3 yrs and it was a trash ass experience. He was broken because the kids' mother died. He didn't want to raise his kids at all. He wanted me to take on 4 extra kids by myself. Once I realized he literally stressed their mother to death I left.
When I was younger I had no idea why men made such a big deal about women having kids. Once I hit 25 and started meeting women who have kids, I got it. It has nothing to do with the mother as a person. For me it's entirely about the fact that as soon as you start dating it's an immediate (sometimes drastic) increase in responsibility. Whereas, if you date somebody else without kids, you can have a period of selfish fun and enjoyment before you two have children and have 9 months to mentally and physically prepare for the increase in responsibility.
I hear my brothers 100%. I have a few questions. 1. Before moving in happens, does the mother not slowly Introduce the son to the new boyfriend?. 2. Is there clear communication on how parenting the child should be done?. 3. Is there clear communication on belief systems & direction of the family? 4. How is the discipline being done? ( i.e. right message, wrong communication method). 💜 to all.
Lol.. you know the answer is No. Look how many bm be trying to sleep with women the first night knowing nothing about them. Yet they have the nerves to complain when they get caught up.
The fact that all that needs to happen is in itself more to deal with than a woman without children. (Women in general) Either don't get pregnant by men you don't have a future with or go back to the father. But a man that has everything most women are looking for would rather not have any of those conversations. That woman would have to add an extreme amount of value for a man to want to put up with that dynamic.
@@DMcGuire323 hmm But the majority of black men don’t push marriages and healthy relationships. Y’all give bs reasons to have a baby but no marriage…or y’all will be engaged for years. I’m sure these women don’t think the men will just leave. Good women are being cheated on with crappy women and even with single mothers🫢🫢 make that make sense!! It takes s strong minded women to not beleive the bs and to protect herself secretly then with birth control. If y’all cared about the community then you’ll preach to men to stop creating babies out of wedlock. But no sleeping around and having a bunch of kids with a bunch of baby mamas is the ongoing trend.
Please stop it with that women are just ridiculous in this regards they deal with emotions I don't care what you said of me plans in the beginning they don't honor it they be any feelings and emotion and everything goes out the window what you discussed as if you don't know this like come on now like stop this painting the picture as if women are some who are able to process things except for in the workplace that's the only place they know how to be obedient to the master that gives them a paycheck other than that in the home they are whole different person and you know what the hell we talking about so please stop trying to create this narrative as if if you wrote it out to them you discussed this to them they would be different they all told this they all lie in the beginning to get their way stop it they say whatever it is to have a man around to help them rid of some that's not theirs are you serious right now can't believe you have the nerve to write this knowing it's like a sensor to me of delusion as if you don't know the real deal behind the doors when the cameras are gone when the cameras ain't on when everybody's gone just you two alone and the children that she has is not yours are you serious
Facts. I’m not dealing with no woman telling me how to run my household just because you have a baby with him. Absolutely not. Most the times, baby mama don’t want-like those boundaries implemented.
🤨 These single fathers need to stop expecting to be able to date women who don’t already have children, as well…women don’t want to deal with other people’s unruly children either.
I assume he's speaking of the majority of single mothers of color, from a man's perspective. Simply because women in this country usually are privilege more access to her children, than of a man's seed. So single mothers would be a great example than that of single father's. Simply because woman are the majority.
I was a single mother when I met my husband, when we decided we were serious and wanted to be a family, we discussed discipline together- he had a say so to an extent because we decided together. People who are truly looking to be a family work together. You can’t judge all single mothers off of some, js
If he is the man of the house he should have FULL SAY SO…you kind of told on yourself a lil bit he still can’t go about being the father he wants to be to the child cuz he only has a small amount of authority. You saying “to an extent” tells me a lot. Can he be a husband “to an extent”? Can he just pay the bills “to an extent”? I bet not!! If I have full responsibility I want FULL AUTHORITY
Do any of you have children or been a stepparent? You’re just going to immediately give someone with no parenting experience total control over discipline? If so, you’re dumb.
I know one guy whose stepdad beat him. I know another guy whose mom's boyfriend beat him with a metal pipe to "discipline" him and he wound up with brain damage in the hospital. Us women have our reasons.
Absolutely! They behave as If males cannot do any wrong. Real men don't abandon their children. Both males & females need to be more responsible & mature.
Ummm .. if you dated more than one .. did you live with each one??? How long??? Did you marry any of them? Did you take on the responsibility and parental roles? Did you ever have to discipline her children? What kind of single mothers were you dating if you didn’t marry any of them?
@@jatall2797 In fact I did. Obviously not ALL of them but my wife was a single mother. So my oldest daughter is really my step daughter but she's MY DAUGHTER Cuz!!! Plus we had 3 more kids together and been together for the last 15 years. As for the other ones, marriage wasn't my goal as I was not mature enough at that point. Get it? Got it? Good.
Yall old school players had a different take on simpology.. Yall thought simping was manhood.. Different times. Yall single mothers were more humble. These single mothers are entitled my guy.. We don't save those
@@SmifLaly bro, she IS NOT your daughter…definitely the simp in you is talking…you started off behaving totally oblivious to situation…it’s damn 100% known that many many women will have issue with Step father disciplining the kids and many of the kids will have big issue with you trying to come in and trying to be their father, when you are in fact not
As a single mom I'm not mad about any man who does not wona date me, but let's be clear, I'm not looking for a " man of the house or a dad for my kids" I pay my own bills, my kids have a dad, I have worked so hard to parent myself so am able to parent my kids n guide them, I cannot have another person come n displine my children. Single mom's date with intentions, we not looking to bring any low level to our warm, love filled homes! Single mom's are dating consciously aware men who understand boundaries n respect them. We have been married n we already have kids, we not settling for no one because our biological clock settled down n we know marriage ain't it. We looking for more n our standards are high.
You are talking about specific kind of women. I am sigle mom and I am worried that my son(3) will not have healthy father figure. But there is deep ignorance in the statement as well. If you have relationship in dating level with women who have children is one thing.You do not have rights or dont share responsibilities regarding children. Why would you demand discipline when you have not created relationship first with this child as family member? P.S.My ex husband did exactly that.While we were still married and I was caring for newborn baby,he cheated with young single mom and raged with anger when she didnt let him control or discipline her child. Never take things out of context. Although I am also aware that we as man and women have lost the ability to create and maintain healthy relationshipd,not even talking about compromising. p.s.Stop speading false narratives and teach man and women something useful. Like self acceptance,self awarenes and self trust,so when they are faced with choices they can make decisions whats goid for them and take responsibility for that.
Why you the man of a house of someone you dating. I would never move in with a woman I wasn’t going to marry. Let her run her house how she wants and be friends with the kid. The kid will probably eventually respect you more than the mother. Lol.
If they're living together, they aren't dating. They're either married or cohabitated. That's the scenario he presented. A man should have authority in his own home.
Yes, this makes the most sense out of all the comments I’ve read. Well said, Sir. She is running her own house and he’s running his if they are in the dating stage. No man outright should be trying to discipline another’s child. Get to know the child build rapport with him/her then your disciplinary suggestions will come into play. But if I’m dating someone first of all I’m not even bringing my child around that man if I know it’s not going no where serious. It would at least be a year before I decide if I will bring my son around that man based on how our relationship is going.
Exactly. It's because these men don't believe in marriage to begin with and this is the reason that there are single mothers. Not one time do you hear these men say anything about marrying women first but bash women for being single mothers. Men love to avoid fault and blame women for everything. There is absolutely no accountability. In many cases these men arent even paying all the bills. They are paying half or none at all. They move in with women because they can't take care of themselves. I'm tired of hearing men talk their bs when they don't have the right to. I notice that men like to fraud, a lot!
If I move her in(because I ain't moving in with a woman EVER), then I'm intent on marrying her. That's gotta be worked up to. I tell the bros all the time to not move in with a woman you ain't serious about.
Just went through it. Got out of it. Talked to him (20’s) respectfully, about how cursing in front of his 2 yo nephew and his newborn son will influence their behavior. He bucked up and caught an attitude, and she caught one too and said to me “you should’ve talked to me about it” when she obviously was permissive of it
My man has 100% say so. There’s times where he’ll step back and let me do my thing as the mother but when my hubby speaks on any matter within the house hold his word is final. Point.blank.period. If a man is coming into the household and willing to take up the responsibilities that come along with a woman that man has all the say so.
Thats my Child. Until we are at the mall then its our child. Smh. You can not have it both ways
Right then it’s oh he need school clothes no no remember that’s your child 🤣
@@ileensosa4406 Exactly.. No benefits to dating a women with kids. Its dangerous and the man will never be number 1 but the woman wants to be number 1 to you. The IRONY!!!! I agree and even if you dont have a family already then you can make your own.
🎯🎯🎯
Right
And her baby either turn gay or go to prison ,,, or both
I dated a single mom once and was at a work function (we worked together). Her kid was annoying some of my coworkers by running through them, bumping into them and just being a general nuisance. She saw what a pain he was being and did nothing about it. I asked the kid to stop and my girlfriend pulled me aside to rip me a new a**hole for disciplining her child. Later on that day he was playing on some rocks and fell hurting himself pretty badly. She then ripped me another a**hole for not stopping him. I broke it off soon after and never dealt with single mothers again. Too much trouble
My prayer are with you they always go back to their with no accountable
I agree with you, I've dated single fathers and have gone through similar experiences expected to be a mother figure cook and clean for them and as long as I'm praising and uplifting the child things were good but as soon as I say no or try to correct them verbally I would get you're not their mom. Never again with single dads for me.
Soooooo, you had 1 bad experience and wrote off all single mothers?
@@79glane928 yes pretty much. I did go into the relationship with an open mind but found out it wasn’t for me. Fool me once…
@@natm3142 they don’t listen
As a woman i am not angry with any man who refuse to date single mothers. Men have a right to their preference.
Its some kind of entitlement to ask a man to be ' the man of the house' but your children ( who's not his) is out of limits. He must house them, feed them, protect them but can't discipline them? Thats a senseless woman and no self respecting man will sign up for this BS.
Only single mother that I ever dated in my life had a really good conversation with me when things were getting serious. The conversation was about the child. I told her that a mother and child was a package deal. If I was going to be the husband and dad in this, that I was going to be the husband and the dad in this. We've been married over 29 years and we have raised two wonderful young men. They aren't perfect just like me. They do however get out of bed everyday and work to support themselves and their families. The child that I was referring to last week while we were all out to dinner celebrating his brother's 25th birthday, well he slipped away and paid for everything before the dinner was over. He said it was his way to say thank you.
Too long didn't read
@@professionalpookie gay
@@professionalpookiemay I suggest hooked on phonics for your reading difficulties or perhaps some Adderall for your lack of attention span. 🤔 Possibly both
thanks for sharing this. as a single mom, this is the mindset I have when it comes to finding a spouse. :)
@@franciswinters-mccallan2504 yo mama???
This is the hardest thing to learn as a single mother. Especially if you are a single mother who was raised by a single mother. But it's 100% truth.
I disagree bc many women in the past got over this. Yes it’s biologically but if you respect the man and understand his role, then it’s needed. Plus men and women have a different struggle. A woman can easily get taken of while a man need to learn to take care
Here something else to ask. Ladies stop saying your kids done need a father if he’s not in the home. If that bf, dad, bff, fwb ran out of the house during a break in and your kids died you will hate that man!!! So at the least have you and kids respect him. Bc women and kids are a first target in bad scenario!!!
U admitted the truth.......................good
Exactly….single moms are letting their kids down.as a man raised by a single mom i concur.
Yes we will all die alone with our bastards
I was married to a single mother of 2 for 12 yrs. Worst 12 yrs of my life, bait n switch. Men don't do it.
Just say no to having baby's and not married...
12 years a SLAVE! They made a movie about you, buddy!
Your to blame, 12yrs!!!
12 years ain’t no bait n switch my guy. I bet it was u who was begging her. U were of a no use to her after her kids became self sufficient 🤣🤣. Thanks for ur service my g. Single moms need more men like u
@@alimo3011 that is it, how do you stay with such a woman for 12yrs....
Guys, I went through this as a stepfather. My Ex Stepson tried to buck up at me when he was a teenager. I checked him real quick. His father call talking $#!+. I told him ok. Give me your address and I will ship him to you. "Crickets- Crickets" He was silent after that. Guys DO NOT date and definitely DO NOT marry a single mother.. Not worth it!!!
@@meathead5670 Good job. 👍🏾
Even biological dads who live in the house, have this same problem.
Preach
💯 true. I had married men tell me that and all I can do is say okay. And one told me how he was disciplining a child and it could have landed him in jail bc you being a man need to control your anger bc there are laws that protect kids. Like when we was little we got popped in the mouth at the store. Now a days you can’t even say anything bc it could be verbal abuse. If it’s not your child I would just let the parent handle it and go somewhere to mind my business.
Choose wisely fellas. Thoroughly vet her.
But you can tell her to shove it and continue to do as you please with your child
I can’t relate
That’s just one of the many reasons fam.
One of the most important ones though.
Yep
Half the time they baby daddy live around the corner
That's why the title says "The #1 reason", clearly meaning there are more
Mr.Core facts facts,facts facts facts,facts
I was dating a woman and she wanted me to help with her son as for getting him to listen and just mind. He was dozing off and I told him to go lay in his bed so he started crying and she ran in the living room and got sassy and wanted to k ow what I said/did to her son. I was like nah I ain’t with this shit!
🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ helllll nawww 😃 😀 😄 I ain't with this shit
My dad went through that struggle for 43 years!!! He met my mom with 5 kids. I'm the 6th. I totally understand what you're talking about.
LOL my nigga hit the deuces...
I dated a SM once and all I did was tell her son to stop disturbing the other guests at a work function. He was running through people, screaming etc thinking it was cute because her family encouraged it. She tore me new one for “disciplining her child”. Ended it soon after
.I agree AS A CHILDLES MAN Never again i was not allowed to.discipline her kids and she let.them ruin my car seats and apartment and she said nothing to them and when i did she screamed at me saying "youre not their father".i dumped her on the spot Never again. EVER
To be honest I’m starting not to like single mothers as girlfriends either. They have patterns in their friendships as well. They never really bring anything to friendships, use kids as a reason to not show up in friendships and every conversation feels like a therapy session. Get higher vibrations from my non mom girlfriends 🤷🏽♀️
its the same
My stepfather is amazing. He took us on and continues to treat us as his own. Thats b/c my mother allowed him to do so.
To the haters:
#1: A man that married a woman with children doesn't do so, b/c he has 'no other options ". Y'all have to stop with this narrative that men or women who take on a spouse with children is somehow just desperate and willing to settle for anyone or anything.
It's the hardest thing in the world to bring a blended family together and make them one. It takes a special kind of love and respect to care for children that aren't biologically yours.
#2: YES! "Allowed"... him to be a parent in every way. You can't ask someone to take on your child or children, be responsible for them financially, physically and emotionally then, turn around and demand that they don't discipline them. It doesn't work.
So yes! The biological parent MUST ALLOW the new spouse/stepparent to be a parent in every way. In my case, my father passed when I was 9yrs old so, there wasn't another parent to challenge my step dad. However, if the other parent is still living and involved then, both biological parents have to agree about what role the stepparent will play. They still have to allow that person to be a parent to their kids
3: A woman who won't allow her spouse to be a parent to her kids but, wants them to be financially responsible...isn't looking for a husband/father. She's looking for a bank account.
A man who allows the women in his life to dictate the type of father he is to his children is a Simp. There's no way in hell a real father is going to allow anyone to dictate the when, where, how and why of his parenting.
4: It's one thing to have multiple kids with multiple partners and then expect to find someone that will take them on. It's completely different to deal with a person who has divorced or is widowed and has kids. Just because the relationship that produced your kids didn't work doesn't mean you don't deserve another relationship or your kids don't deserve the love and support of another parent.
5: Almost a third of the Black community is under 30 and we have whole generations that are practically missing when you compare the numbers to other ethnicities. If you continue to shame people for taking on spouses w/kids, you are basically condemning us to remaining a broken culture. Children don't thrive without support and stability. If you continue to shame those who are willing to love and support kids they didn't make. Then you are also preventing those children from having stable 2 parent households that their biological parents clearly weren't capable of providing.
Amazing!!! Your FATHER is a good man! God bless him & give him a long life.
Keyword: allowed.
Step father role isn’t profitable = sucker simp
Exactly!!! your mother allowed him to do so…
is the key sentence it’s always the mothers fault when the children r disrespectful to a stepfather n then act like she is surprised but she is really the1 that planted the seeds of hate for a innocent step father privately in the children minds,although the biological father been MIA,n sometimes she doesn’t want the children to c her loving another man besides there father because she already told them she will never leave there father we will always b a family n she will always love there father forever now they c her with a new man,it really sounds bad but w*men need to stfu!!! that hole in there faces leaves a trail of chaos n destruction to everything she touches not even them kids know who there daddy is when she pass through
Notice the word allowed.
Dating a single mother is a good way to waste time and money in life and is a good way to hurt yourself for sure
Absolutely it happened to me but I'm glad I recovered and regain
@@kirkhugginsjr9317 same here bro
Nah some of those women are so fine. I usually keep them around until they ask for commitment. Then I leave.
@@kurtrunner8214 lol
@@yardleyhbk smfh bro
This is one reason why it didn't work with my ex. Didn't wanna discipline that damn kid. Then I found Kevin Samuels right after I ended it. Perfect timing.
RIP TO 🐐
@@CountMeOut33 when he died, I was flabbergasted.
Perfect perfect timing
@@duduman05 he made me not want to go back. I started seeing the simp in me. I ain't never going back to a woman with kids💯
Here ..here woof
Brother you told nothing but the truth..I tried to date a single mom with 2 young kids! Never again..horrible experience..one day I was sitting there thinking 🤔..what the hell I’m doing..
😂😂😂😂 good for you bro it’s terrible
Dated a single mom for a month and i dodged a huge bullet... The baggage and trauma she projected on me daily was sickening... The first time I also got a dose of feminism and how it caused massive brain rot. Protect your peace at all times kings.
And this is the reason why “Kevin Samuels” promoted marriage first then kids💐💐💐
You still become a single parent even when married. I know many!!
U mean “THE GREAT” Kevin Samuels
Yeah that sounds good but you have other men online literally telling men not to marry because it's a scam.and to sleep around til the early dawn.... you where the issue lies, to many men are giving out different messages and that don't lead men as a group into a positive direction.
What about the children that's here now!? Mic'22
@@Micnify indeed when ppl marry with responsibility they leave behind insurance, ssi & pension etc…
So the living spouse will have financial support and not need for the next spouse to take on that responsibility😇
I know a few men who were with a single mom for a while and when she left they had to break the relationship with kids as well.
That is why so many single mothers lose in life. Sometimes it works out well but in many others it ends badly.
That part right there!!
@@williampresley4945 wow ur name are the same in reverse but very tru, times are changing rapidly. And men are realizing there time and resources are valuable.
Ain't my kid
I know that situation. I dated a single mother of 2 for about 2-3 years. I was one of the only male father figures they had. They were 1 & 3 when we started dating. When we broke up, it's like you break up with the kids, too, and they don't understand the situation. I worked security at the health center, & the daughter (now 5 at the time) came I'm for immunizations. She ran to my desk, all happy to see me. She showed me she started learning how to write her name, then she asked me why I didn't come around anymore and asked was I mad at her. She promised to treat her little brother nicer if it would make me proud of her and come back & stay with them. I had to leave my post & collect myself after that. It was heartbreaking.
My dad actually ran into this situation with my stepmom for a long time. My stepsister was young like really young and grew up to be a real brat for a while and my dad was never allowed to set rules or punishments or anything because "that's not your daughter" but it was his daughter when he was needed to provide support or money or anything like that. I can definitely see why men would avoid single mothers with all these cautionary tales
Could she discipline you though?
Never date a single mother. No matter how beautiful the woman is that situation is never worth the trouble.
Exactly
A half empty pack of cigarettes has more value than a single mother
@FadedEnlightenment you probably got a million fatherless kids and on here talking crazy
@@user-vx7vc3me3c that is such a weird assumption. I have been a monogamous married man since I was 21 years old. Just because your father was irresponsible and didn't love you, doesn't mean all fathers are the same.
My point still stands. Single mothers have almost zero value.
@FadedEnlightenment The salt in your tone... You got hurt fr
I’ve done the step father thing and I dealt with the same thing for many years. I don’t recommend it. All things including how kids felt to precedence over me and my thoughts. After years I stopped giving my opinions and taking on any types of responsibility. She had it easy when I was involved now she does all by her self. Don’t do it fellas.
He's right. Do. Not. Do. It. Fellas.
I've never dated a single mother before. Just by reading your comment, i can discern your pain. I actually believe you... It's a no no hell no for me...
Man I did the same thing. I will NEVER try to raise someone else's child again!!!
Same here especially with kids being taught to be out of line ,,, and your not allowed to set them str8 smh ,,
Damn damn damn (Martin Lawrence voice) recently met this chick with 4 kids. Nice phat ass pretty AF. First time smashing she tried to go raw dog I screamed like Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣 was like oh Sh!t she trying to trap my ass
I can't relate. There's another side to this story. I been married to my wife for over 22 years and my daughter was 4 years old when I met her mother. My wife never got in between and stopping from leading the house. My wife trust me. If a woman won't allow you to teach or correct her child she don't trust you and you should never be in a trustless relationship.
That's a great point
Same situation same age when we met. I am dad thats that. If I wasn't id be out. It ain't her fault he split. Some people start out good and become useless. Id choose it the same to do it again. Kids need fathers and two parent homes.
That's from a man's perspective because that's HIS child. He's speaking from a women's perspective because it's HER child.
Yes this guy here is still learning and he’s in his feelings from pass relationships😎
Thank you sir its trust!
So true!
I did it...
Couldn't say anything...
Couldn't discipline...
Only provide!
Then when he started to stray... now say something do something smh
That's exactly it! Total s**t show
You should have stopped providing
@@lelezilele9917 thought about that...
Tho the child was innocent B4 straying after that then I fell back...
Childfree women shouldn’t date single fathers either. It goes both ways.
Absolutely!!
No because I'm the provider n my son will listen to my girlfriend because I say so...do not compare single fathers to single moms..men n women are not the same
Nah people should date who they want. It’s different with a single father cause most times the woman doesn’t have to step in and financially take care of that child.
@@nathankomosa8928 you are such a typical selfish single father. I’ve dated single dad’s lol why the hell would I want to be second when I can come first to a man who doesn’t have kids? You’re a parent regardless of your gender and your finances will ALWAYS be tied up with your kid because you’re a parent. (Finances, time, resources etc will always be tied up) You’re selfish and pathetic! The fact that a single and childfree woman has to explain this to you…
I feel sorry for your son.
Stick to dating single moms. You’ll save bundles together and can go on family trips with each other. Plus you all can go back to school shopping together and save money. 🤣🤣🤣
@@emayan06 I’m saying this as someone who’s dated single dads. It really isn’t any different. It’s the exact same and or sometimes worse.
You can go ahead and date whoever you want, but nope. I stand 100 toes down on single and childfree women SHOULD NOT DATE SINGLE DADS.
All single moms aren't like that. In my experience being a step dad, me & my stepson got along great. The mom never went the 'that's MY baby' route. He never said 'u ain't my daddy' either(bcuz I met his mom when he was a preteen). It CAN work but she HAS to have ur back when it comes to discipline.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
Ratio= 1:100000. You got the unicorn yo!
90-95% of women are like that. You just happened to luck out. 🤔
Thank you so much for this comment.
@@melissaduncan9311 Ur very welcome. Fun fact: her name is Melissa too LoL
I completely agree, I stay in my lane when Hubby discipline our boys💪🏾🤞🏾
Not all single mothers are like that. A good woman will submit to a good man and respects what he tells her child
@Lamar Stewart and if you find a $100 in the gutter, you won't pick it up bc it's in the gutter, right? 😂 It's still valuable
@@andrealustig3547 what a silly analogy from both of you.
You would spend that 100 and not care about it and then it’s gone you don’t keep it because you only wanna use it for it’s worth and get rid of it asap, but it’s not a good hundred. 🙄🥴 (basically sleep with the woman and move on she’s worth the sex but not worth keeping around because she’s not as good as others)
So as the men have said. Single mothers are fun to use but not to keep. It sounds bad but if you were in their position you would think and act the same.
It really is a bad deal taking it on. I can’t see why women have such a hard time seeing it. A better analogy is maintaining your next door neighbours car and they drive it badly. Pure expensive and headache for you with no benefit.
@@Mrreal1871 you're a sick person for using single mothers
@@andrealustig3547 Money is more useful than a woman.
@Flying Dutchman I feel bad for you, that you feel like that. You must have been through a lot
I think child free men shouldn’t date single mother 🤷🏽♀️. If a man has kids, his only option should be women with kids.
Great, but ladies stay away from these guys that have children, especially multiple children with multiple women.
I agree.
There are a lot of women who have not listened to that advice!!! 🤣
@@jnrrobinson5989because males like that lie about the the number of children they have and it easy for them to do because the children are usually in the custody of mom.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Listen! It's like bug repellent for me🤣😆😂😁
This is how I feel about dating a man with a child. I’m currently experiencing this and also the mother has a problem as well and I’m completely starting to be over it!
Now you can advocate on behalf of the men who was taught and told to accept the "package deal".
Cap...
Oh you pay all the bills and are head of the household? Yea that’s what I thought
If you don’t have kids, then your just dumb. We all are dumb sometimes. Hopefully, you will snap outta of it before you become another BM statistic
as a young man I advise you to leave, leave that man and go date a childless partner like you. just be happy that man didn't demand financial contribution and material contributions like how some Baby mama's demand that from man cause they are a "package deal"
It usually only works if the father is deceased or completely out of the child’s life.
It still doesn't work
HARD PASS! Not your baby not your responsibility. Keep it moving.
When I was in my 20s I would always ask if she had any children, if she did I would immediately not pursue her any longer.
Smart man. Remember this phrase the next time you meet a single mother: “he left her for a reason”
@@bigfranchise thats a dumbass phrase bcuz thats assuming that u know how they broke up and that the man is always right.
@@bigfranchise Some of us leave them😂😂😂😂😂 you hurt you sad. Just heal and move on stop spreading your sadness.
Wise choice. You didn't need to be dealing with any children you got life to live planes to catch etc etc etc. Men like this are tired and can't keep their hands to themselves and pick the type of women they have to leave, more time lying to young girls. Beware of ppl with no wisdom but plenty judgement. Stay safe 💖
You were born wise brother.
First off, dude should not move into her place right off the bat. Second, take time to get to know her and her child before you think about moving in. Third, while you’re getting to know each other, be having conversations about disciplining her child. Fourth, “man of the house” doesn’t mean king of the castle, dictator, boss or tyrant. Fifth, before you assume responsibility for her child, be taking care of your own.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯Shots fired!
All of this 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
THIS!!!!
THANK YOU!!!! Lord have mercy! Pin this comment Krew Season!
How we don’t do all that and find a woman without a child?
There’s something called communication. When dating a single parent you need to discuss as adults and establish boundaries when it comes to discipline, finances, etc. There should not be a double standard if both parties value and respect each other.
Agreed, most single moms that AREN’T widows aren’t worth much or worth the risks/rewards pay off though.
@@snowfrosty1 I have to disagree with you on that. I personally know very nice ladies who are single moms, they’re good people, financially independent and in good shape and they actually don’t even date anymore because of the stereotypes men insist on putting on them. For your information, there are a lot of irresponsible men out there who despite being in their 30s, 40s, 50s, just want to treat women like objects and go around spreading hate because these types of women see into their game and don’t give them the time to the day. It’s really sad, though, because men and women complement each other and life is better with a partner.
Nah snowfrosty is right. Single mothers generally have personality disorders or are toxic and make awful decisions thus why they are single mothers. Unless the woman is a widow or got out of a marriage; the rest are toxic
I went through this a step father and then I came to a realization thanks to Pastor Stephen Darby. I am a man and I will discipline children I provide for. As long as I don’t abuse them
My stepfather was a great man. I had no problem calling him my father in front of my biological father. Not all single women are that way. Men just need to choose accordingly. Both sides need to be held accountable. My mother was my father and had her own, didn't expect any man to come and do anything but love her family unconditionally. She had things covered from front to back and that's the double truth Ruth. My stepfather didn't have to punish us for the simple fact, my mom's raised my siblings and I in a certain way. With that being said, men pay more attention to how the kids treat their mother before you commit.
How many single mothers you know that act like your mom?....exactly , so best advice is not to gamble and start a family of your own
@@titoazua3120 Believe it not, I am one of those women. When my marriage broke up, because of abuse and infidelity, I took the full responsibility for taking care of my children. I let the man know that everything was on when you walked in here and will be when you leave. I also raised my children to respect themselves well as the man. If more men or women took responsibility for their own that they helped bring into this world , it would be a lot easier .
Every situation has their different set of circumstances. Single parenting most of the time not the first choice. Man or woman we want what's best for our children. Just remember, if you want someone to help you, give them respect as well as your children. If not, man or woman leave. I would.
Well if it’s HER family.., and SHE had everything covered.. that sounds like all about her. I hear ONLY TRUE RESPECT for your mother, you just made your stepfather sound like one of her children and not a man. If your mom raised you a certain way .., then she DONT NEED NO MAN to take on all that baggage from ANOTHER MANS SEED AND FAMILY!
She got it all held down??? Well she needs to keep it all to herself then.., because although your comment sounds good on the surface.., when you actually examine it.., all I see is .. YOU SIR, MR STEPDAD, are the OUTSIDER IN OUR FAMILY.., as long as you never interfere with OUR FAMILY, or EVER BUT INTO OUR BUSINESS AND FAMILY DYNAMIC.., then we cool… we don’t need your input as a man.., we don’t need your voice as a man.. my mama got this .. so you do what my mama instructs you to do.. and that only.. and everything will be good!!! SON.. your MAMA IS THE MAN not your stepdad… thats what I heard in your comment!!!
Yes your stepfather was a great man.. and he sounds like a man that should have found him a single woman with NO CHILDREN so he could have his own children and own family.., because you made it very clear.., you and your family belong to your mother..,not to him.., and that good man should have been raising HIS OWN FAMILY AND HIS OWN CHILDREN.. and not some other man’s family..
@@jatall2797 FACTS!!! 💯💯💯
God bless you.
I don’t know why, but for the longest I had the thought I’d end up marrying a mother with a child, I just had sympathy for a single mother. Praise God it didn’t happen!!!! Now I’m a married man to a childless woman and we about to have OUR first child 😁
I never had sympathy for single mothers. They're not victims. They're home wreckers. I only had sympathy for widows.
It’s the savior complex. A lot of us have it. Single moms love to say “I don’t need a man. I’m strong and independent”. Then reality strikes and these women can’t even change a light bulb. Not only do you have to be the man of the house and provide you have to take care of some other man’s offspring.
Right on ✊🏾
What happens if yall get divorced
@@BlackNerdist We Won't!
But if it were t happen we both share custody of the son... she won't have greater custody, unless she decides she's going to lie about me.
don't be a step mother either . the drama of the baby mommas and/or ex-wife is so not worth it. Been there and never again
It is an "I lose and you win situation" from the man's perspective. NO brainer.
When you love your child you’re grateful and happy to have as many people love him and try to steer him right as possible.
You also do your best to keep the family in tact.
A lot of women are selfish.
@Stop Simping T.V Thank you there’s more of me popping up everyday
The tide is turning. We’re sick of the 304’s and fem 🐖 making our men so miserable.
A lot of women understand that we need you more than you need us. And we’re getting louder and louder, we’re not afraid of the mob of angry 🐖s anymore.
We want family values and a healthy society again. They can all go to an island and live with the simps!
Ha!
Why do women make the good guys their last choice?
@Stop Simping T.V simp
@@calvinjohnson112 We’re stupid
lmfao, il translate that last sentence into man words "ALLLLLL women are selfish" not "some" but every last one of them
i tell men all the time avoid dating single mothers it’s losing game
Women without a kid is rare
And that's the reason why it's so important to find and make your own family
People without kids should date people without kids, especially if the person is under 30.
I have a situation I am in now. I became a single mother, when I left the father of my child because of my irresponsibility of not knowing him to well he took advantage of me when I let my gaurd down and boom i found I was pregnant. Soon after, I started seeing he was very toxic, so I left no more than 10wks pregnant. Got myself together for my baby and it was me and baby til I had my own place and decided to kinda date. I met this who I thought was wonderful person I vibed with and we been together since baby was 7months old we had another baby together but dude definitely knew he never wanted anything long term with me but I didn't know that and I fell for him and he didn't, so now I am bitter because I thought this man would love me. Both of OUR daughters will forever have him in their lives, but now my love life is over, and I will never get the chance to really find the one. Who was wrong in the situation?
Maaaaaan, stay away from them “baby mama’s”. Waste of time, money, waste of your happiness. Let them be.
I actually did it. Wasted years. Wasted life. Find a decent piece of earth and plant your own seeds. Captivate cultivate your own seeds.
Perfect
💯
Well said
Who is creating these single mom's? Just asking for a friend 🙄🙄🙄🤔🤔
The mothers because females choose who they have sex with
The same ones who scream my body, my choice lol
online dating, hit and quit until one gets through
The women are,they spread their legs willingly after all
Never forget that
About one guy to every 6 women
So yeah he a bad man
Who has knocked up 6 bad women.
Dated a single mother until she told me she allows her kids to draw on her walls and doesn’t discipline her children…Ended it very soon after.
FACTS!! As a man that was in this very situation, I can tell you 💯 this is EXACTLY true, a it is the reason I will never encourage my future son to date or marry a single mother... ever!
And the second reason to leave SINGLE MOTHERS ALONE: She still having RELATIONS( STILL FUCKING BABY DADDY)💯
That's my NUMBER 1
Baby daddy can always hit
Not if she's a widow
Wrong again!!!!
@@aishajohnson3536 he's correct, goofy
@@aishajohnson3536 Most women if you are fighting with them or having a bad fight which happens the baby daddy is right there to comfort her and blow her back out
That’s not every man, some men don’t mind embracing that stepdad role. It’s the mother who has to agree with that, you can’t have a man with no authority over your child. At some point there needs to be trust that I’m the man and I’m here for everybody to succeed.
facts
Those men typically are broke. A man with options not choosing a baby mom over a woman with no kids. Thats dumb
Was talking to a a single mother and she instantly asked me for money within a week we’d been talking… smh like bruh 🤦🏽♂️
You was talking to a bum dear. I’m a single mom of one . I work 50+ hours a week. I’m not on any type of welfare and have never asked a man for any money including my sons father. The whole point is all women aren’t like this. I would like to get married one day but everyone makes it seem like being a single is the worst thing in the world . I don’t need a man to come save me I want a genuine connection and real love.
@@twylamoses1471 is it recommended for a man without children to date a single mother?
@@dreamergangceo He can do whatever he wants to do. If a man doesn’t want to date a single mother he doesn’t have to. My whole point of responding to his post was just to say all women are like that. I’m very self sufficient and never ask a man for anything with a child . That is all !
@@twylamoses1471 women always say that, though you may not ask, no man is gonna do for you and not do for your child as yall are a package deal, just really wanted to know the pros and cons so to speak if you dont have children and you're coming into a situation with someone who does
I dated a single mother of 3, two girls and a boy that was back in 97 the boy was hardheaded as hell but it all changed when I whooped his ass his mom couldn't say nothing. His mom and I been married now for 23 years now that boy that I beat loves me dearly he's 37yrs old now he calls me his dad
did you have children of your own when u dated that single mother of 3?
Nowadays that boy daddy will probably smoke you for touching his son. Thanks for the oldworld commentary tho
Good for you.
Troy teel simp
@@os8051 sorry youngin not a simp like the so called men of your generation
Well I come from a blended family and my dad and step mom have given me a lot of advice because I have one too and it takes patience and two people that truly want to make it work
And that single mother has to truly trust that man to be over her kids
My advice to men is to not allow the children to disrespect you and when there is an issue go tell your woman and agree together on the consequences and confront that child it has to be a united front
I am extremely thankful to god that I have a husband that was extremely patient with me from the beginning and knew upfront how crazy I was when it came to my child but he stood by my side and I completely trust him with my child and our children together
I hope this gives the single mothers in the comments some hope find a mentor find someone that went through the same thing and made it work
DO NOT TAKE ADVICE FROM SINGLE WOMEN AND SINGLE MEN THEY WILL KEEP YOU SINGLE
You are absolutely right and every situation is not and will not be the same. Respect over everything
If married people were so great at advice.., why are y’all divorced, why are you single mothers, why are there multiple fathers in the picture, why are you married folks sleeping around so much with everybody, why are your households out of order and FULL of dysfunction and chaos??? There are so many trifling marriages and jacked up families out here .., MARRIED PEOPLE don’t have the corner of the market on advice or relationships.. period!!! SINGLE FOLKS have some of the best advice.. and some of the most integrity.. while all the married folks are out here wild’n out being the reality!!! Good Advice is just GOOD ADVICE no matter of your married or single.., it’s all about the character, integrity, and experience of the one giving the advice!!!! Married folks kill me acting like they’re better than single folks .., YOURE NOT!!!!!!
Yup don't know what's going on in someone else's house to be making all those assumptions, unless you know them.
I think listening to the children of single parents and married couples that make it work makes total sense.
@@jatall2797 if they are divorced then they are single.
I’m a single mother and I can say my relationships are completely separate from my children unless we’re talking about moving forward and cohabiting. So far no problems. Discipline will be discussed before the children are introduced. I respect my partner and would never put him in a situation where my children embarrass him with poor behavior.
This what I don’t understand when men are saying this or giving their past experiences of dating single mothers…
First off, if you are in the dating stage with that woman why are her children being brought around you? You as a MAN should be questioning that, you need to be vetting that woman’s character. Especially, if you know you’re not going to be taking her serious. Women with children don’t bring your child around this man if this a random you are just “kicking it” with. Secondly, he should not be moving in WITH YOU! Why is a grown man moving in with YOU?? If you two have established that marriage is the final step, and you get MARRIED then you two move in together. Not as boyfriend/girlfriend!
Also, be sure to vet these men before you even think about bringing your child around. You don’t want to be bringing different men around children or in your house, period. And when the time is appropriate for you to introduce your child to that man WATCH how that man builds rapport with your child, how he handles your child, is the man comfortable being around your child? Is your child comfortable being around this man??
As a single mother, the dating game is not the same for us. We have to be even more strategic and discerning when we date. There is a process to this type of dating. Most men NOT all see single mothers as a “good time” to have sex with. Don’t get caught up! Be strategic and intentional when dating as a single mom. ✨✨
You give some good advice. I personally don’t date single moms because I have no kids and it wouldn’t make sense but it’s been many times I’ve seen women try to use sex as a way to convince a man to like them and that makes it easy for that man to use them 🤦🏿♂️
I ain't going to lie if your kids are out of hand it's the beginning stages of dating it's definitely a no that's for friendships as well
It doesn't matter. My step kids were good kids. But as soon as it didn't work out with mom, it's like the 8 years of being a father to them didn't happen. They act like they don't even know you.
It's just not worth it single men. Avoid baby mothers.
Lol
I’d stay away too, I’m rebellious when it comes to that
In the beginning stages of dating YOU shouldn’t even be bringing your child around a random that you know it won’t lead to anything serious i.e marriage. When you have a child and you are dating you have to move differently and be more strategic about what you are doing. You should be dating with intentions and purpose. I will not be bringing my son around a dude I know might not take me serious or I won’t be taking him serious. Vet these men before you bring an innocent child into the picture. Many men will play it off and say “I don’t mind dating a woman with a kid(s)” but in the back of their mind they know they are just dating her to have sex they look at her as a “good” time. Don’t get caught up. Be transparent with your situation and communicate what you are looking for and how you are dating with the purpose of marriage in the end IF that’s something you want. Otherwise, if not leave yo kids out of the situation. Have a good time and that’s that.
Never date a woman with kids. You will always be last, and be the first to pay when things go wrong with her and her kids. You're not going to be able to discipline them even if they need it.
No sorry, some of us just want some respect time attention and we would give it back 10 fold. I am a single mother my man does not pay for a damn thing dor my daughter in fact i refuse to takr any money of him aside from the amount he lived on when single.....i dont involve him in any issues wih my ex infact my ex is off the scene which is good thats not my choice btw. I give my man my time, affection cook bake fix his plate, i look after him when hes sick in regard to disipline i sort it...he doesnt get involved and my child is well behaved anyways....some of us unfortunately picked wrong and i tried so hard with my wx offered weekends never asked for child support just something toward raising her asked for half toward clothijg activities etc even said i would show him receipts for items purchased....he refused....so please dont tar us all with the same brush
@@erniechipdouglas9779 you're one out of a million....so the best advice to young men is to stay away from single moms...cause finding someone like you is next to impossible
Never date a man with kids especially if you are childless. What’s the point. Ladies run.
I CANNOT stand the over generalizations of single mothers. I for one am NOT the single mother most refer to. First, my children are HIGHLY respectful and well behaved because for one, I respect my children and discipline them out of love. We have a very close and open relationship. Still... momma don't play! We are not peers. For another, if my children are out of line and/or need to be taught/redirected... if your intentions are to also discipline them out of love, then please by all means, DO SO. My problem with women who say no to this is, WHY would you be ok dating and sleeping with a man but have a problem with this same man disciplining your children?? The math ain't mathing... If he's good enough for your temple, then he should be solid enough to discipline your children. And if not, YOU'RE the problem. NOT the man. Don't bring around men you can't trust to be good examples for your children. Period.
Oh my goodness, say it again bro! I did that stupid sh*t of marrying a single mother in my mid 20's, worst mistake of my life! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT DO THIS! LEAVE SINGLE MOTHERS ALONE. They're mad all the time, broke, in debt, still mad at the baby daddy because of what he did, didn't do, said, or didn't say and blame you for everything. "Those are not your children, but you better pretend like they are. Buy and pay for everything they need but I say what goes and doesn't go". Did I get that right ladies? Fellas, stay clear of them!!
I hope you don't have kids
You keep the relationship separate until you believe it's gonna be long term and you agree on general parenting. Then if you trust him with you and your life trust him to be a father.
Thats really good advice
It's not that simple there's another important party is the biological father, I'll pas. Men stepping in taking care of another man's responsibility is part of the reason woman feel so comfortable being a part of the present babymama culture. They even had a "stepdaddy season" hashtag last year
I’m 61yo, my Mother was a single mom with two kids. I never saw my Dad. And I hated any Man my Mom went with, especially the ones trying to step in to be my father.
Yup. That’s the side of single motherhood blk women don’t want to talk about. They only care the push the ‘strong independent and don’t need no man’ narrative.
And this is why your mother was difficult to date. Even though she may have been a great woman.
@@IBO85 My Mom had no problem dating. She wasn’t the perfect Mother and didn’t want kids. Plus she gave me up to another family for five years. I’m good!
Tell the truth.. come on man.. that’s just how it be!!! Appreciate your honesty!!!
Sorry ladies Most Men that don't have kids do not want to date a single mother. I Will NEVER!!!! Date or take a single mother serious for a relationship. That's a NO! Deal Breaker! This is a No Single Mother Zone over here
I have no kids and I’m a women. I have yet to date a single father because even on a first date they bring up the ex.
Y’all be finding these complicated ass people I swear. 😂I’m a single mother and my husband was a single father when we met, boundaries were set, no secrets withheld, we established what we wanted for each other, our kids became the best of friends and neither side had drama when entering the relationship. We got married, had kids of our own and got 12 years in. It doesn’t have to be complicated, y’all attract nothing but people who don’t know what they want expect a hole to fill.
This maybe true, but is an unfair generalization. I was divorced (husband abandoned completely) and single with 2 small children. My children were well taught & disciplined. Met a man with no children we married and had another son together. All my children call him dad and respect him. He doesn't physically discipline them, but I do, but I have never had issues with them respecting him. We've haven't been perfect, but everyone is respected and no children are treated better than others. It took time but it can work if everyone grows up and loves the children right.
I think it works better when the biological father isn't around. Then the step-kids look up to the new man as a father figure.
Never ever get in a relationship with a single mother…..
😂😂😂😂
Why not
I met a woman who had 4 kids when she met her man. He had 3 children.
I remember her telling me that allowing him to come in and discipline her children was one of the hardest decisions of her life, but she stepped aside, made sure that he wasnt abusing her kids and let him lead.
They have been married for over 50yrs now and have had many more kids together.
Its possible to blend families, but many people are to superficial and immature to navigate through the weeds.
Facts! I have been through it! Especially if the ex/ kids father is drama/crazy!
Trill, that was a perfect summation as to why men should NOT date single mothers. Absolute NO NO.
Whom is forcing you to!?🤣 Who has put a g.un to you all’s head, & made you date single moms!?🤷🏾♀️
If we didn't date single moms, nobody would get no pus*y, I would say about 80% of the women over 21 have at least 1 child
@@MrsLegitParttwo don't worry about that crap their talking, if we don't date single moms then our choices of women are gonna be very very very slim, I would like to find a single mom with younger kids so I can be a part of their life, there are Stupid men & Stupid women that be saying, "don't have another ninja around my child, that's crazy as hell
Lol then don’t date them it’s simple….
@@MrsLegitParttwo Everytime they complain about men who don't date single moms they're trying to make you do it. Otherwise they'd shut up and deal with the ones who do want them.
I guess things were different when I was growing up my mom married my step father when I was 7 and he was the man of the house. My SD and my mom made the rules and both dished out punishments. My mom and I were a package deal
Now I'm in a relationship where I am financially supporting a child that that isn't biologically mine and the mother is not in the picture but I have absolutely no say in anything. The child runs our home. My boyfriend and I quit even trying to go out together cause if we do we are made to feel bad.
@@hillarybruns8649 wtf are you doing that for and than complaining here about it? You talking like your situation happens alot....It doesn't, you shouldn't be with a "man" that let's you pay for everything ....what's more common is single moms wanting a man for everything and not giving nothing in exchange but puzzy
Things were definitely different a while back. There was a time when single moms were single moms because the father bailed or died. Now most of them know they can trade the father for a child support payment and keep screwing around with different men.
Well said my good and honorable friend 👏
Exactly how it should be I don't think all single mothers are that why I'm sure not it's just the single mother they choose to deal with.
As a single mother, I do not have men around my children. A man cannot even meet my children unless we're committed. Once I fully trust my man he can lead me and the children
Started talking with a divorced single mother. It lasted 2 whole days before her crazy expectations started coming out, it's sad but true. Don't waste your time
Same reason I didn’t want to date a man with children when I didn’t have any but was told that I was wrong for feeling how I felt,the door swings both ways
It absolutely goes both ways. But... its USUALLY goes one way.
It's different when a man has children vs a woman with children.
@Rubin Telcy I'm 51 and I haven't consistently seen dudes with full custody. So it's kinda hard to say. Usually dudes and their kids are in different households. I'd like to see a larger sample size.
@@doclew28 Even with children in the same household, the woman coming into the situation is not financially responsible for anything. She had way less of an investment with that man’s children. So what right does she have to parent those children when she’s not really doing anything for them. There’s a major difference b/w a step father vs a step mother.
@Tarell Hudson agreed. She has barely any responsibilities. But those are some pretty rare situations tho.
I can still hit my BM not because I think I can but because she let me know I could and if I wasn’t tryna do better with D discipline I prolly would. Men have to be careful it’s not safe
Dang. I always knew this was true but not 100 %. Thanks
But how shitty are you that you didn't make your baby mom a wife.
What do you mean by hit?
Yeah 😆 I could hit both my bm's if I was the type to backtrack. Turned them both down while they were dating other men.
@@gmchessplay9043 fuck
Dated a single mom. Told her we are not a good fit. I think she should date single dads. She refuses to do so. Hypocrisy at it's finest.
Also because the mother will run back to her baby daddy.. Shell always have feelings for him
Everyone has to get counseling on how to blend a family.
💯💯💯💯🙏🏽
Nope. Don't intentionally hurt your future. Pick a woman who didn't choose to have children with other men
Yeeeees!!! Because it works both ways!
Basically
I think that is crucial!
MAAAAAAN, I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THAT MAN A STANDING OVATION.👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
💐💐💐
If the roles are reversed I'd feel the same way I stay away from men who already have kids...its just ss hard on us single women. That's a two way street.
@@benedictelunda1863 not the same....women usually don't come into a men's life paying all the bills 🙄 and we are not so fragile about letting a women discipline our kids
I'm glad I decided to get married. We love and support each other and work to make things comfortable for each other. We're young (early and mid 30) and we have two kids. We have our issues and will possibly have them until we can't stand each other any longer, but for now, we both understand the importance of having both parents in the house. For the most part we both lacked that growing up, and of course, in hindsight, it had major disadvantages.
Watching my boy and girl grow this early (3&1) is showing me that no one can help my children deal with what I brought to his and her table, without me.
There are things I can see in my children that no one is able to see because that part of them, is ME, and only I know me, like me!
I have a mastermind style of learning/execution and without proper guidance I used it for the worst reasons. I'm felonied out 🤦🏾♂️😄. Now, and I know it sounds common place, but my son (3) is a fucking savant!! 😆. He's lightyears away from ABC/123. He's the only 3yr old reading 3 and 4 syllable words (teaching himself and sounding out words) in his school, his book shelf is his toy box and hes counting to 200 for shits and giggles. His daycare is astounded by how progressive he is 😄. We are very proud parents - _But_ He _is_ His Father's child. It's my responsibility to my son's mental health and civic duty to the world to guide this potencial wrecking ball because along with the gifts I also see the curses. Its honestly scary knowing how habits, emotions, and trigger points in life works. Our habits bleed into our kids "potencial" interests e.g. "generational curse" stuff. I now wish I had someone that could peep my moves and have given me a few cheat codes... I can't wait to see what his sister brings. Shes a die-hard Daddies girl 💪🏾these days but I honestly hope turns out more like her mother 😄.
Its not easy having kids but with two parents this is way more fun than not, for everyone.
For the fathers that haven't spent time with their kids, for whatever reason- fix it- at all costs. I left my family once. For 4 months while my daughter was on the way. In that little time I lost so much time with my son and at that time I didnt want another child 😔 but I couldnt shake it. I came back home. Me leaving and coming back was probably one of the best things for my Wife and I. I think it only worked bc no other woman, or man, was involved. It was just us and our kids.
Our ideals, skills, and interests bleed into our egg and seeds and being that we've worked through a lot of the kinks, together, we can save them time and possibly a little heartache. I couldnt imagine having a different life, thinking, "Im doing better on my own for my babies", not being able to live it with my babies 🤦🏾♂️.
You're super cool for reading this 😎👍🏾
Thanks for your comment. The last sentence was priceless.
Good dads/step dads don't get the credit they deserve. Too much talk is given about lovers and deadbeats. I'm happy your story went the way it did. Life and living isn't for the lazy. Anything worth having is worth working hard for. 👍🏼
Never again, will I ever deal with a woman that has children? That is bad business.
I don't know what kinda women yall deal with but my dad is my step-dad and this was never an issue in my household. Yall see these red flags in these women but yall move forward anyway.
Your Stepdad is from the older generation too, And I bet he did not have multiple baby mamas either. Like today's Generation Either.
I understand what you are saying, It's a different era of people Now.
@@Mr.Atlanta850 what changed tho? And it's funny how a man won't date single mothers but yall be having 7 different baby mama's and expect the new female to have to deal with all of them fucked up personalities.... let's talk about that.
Speak the same way on single fathers. I dated one for 3 yrs and it was a trash ass experience. He was broken because the kids' mother died. He didn't want to raise his kids at all. He wanted me to take on 4 extra kids by myself. Once I realized he literally stressed their mother to death I left.
You just explained 95% of single mother. Y’all don’t want a relationship yall want financing
Being a stepdad is like serving time for a crime you didn’t commit
When I was younger I had no idea why men made such a big deal about women having kids. Once I hit 25 and started meeting women who have kids, I got it. It has nothing to do with the mother as a person. For me it's entirely about the fact that as soon as you start dating it's an immediate (sometimes drastic) increase in responsibility. Whereas, if you date somebody else without kids, you can have a period of selfish fun and enjoyment before you two have children and have 9 months to mentally and physically prepare for the increase in responsibility.
They want a man to take on ALL the responsibilities but have very limited authority 🤦🏽♂️
Not all the responsibility just the ones that cost💀😆
I hear my brothers 100%. I have a few questions.
1. Before moving in happens, does the mother not slowly Introduce the son to the new boyfriend?.
2. Is there clear communication on how parenting the child should be done?.
3. Is there clear communication on belief systems & direction of the family?
4. How is the discipline being done? ( i.e. right message, wrong communication method). 💜 to all.
I agree
Lol.. you know the answer is No. Look how many bm be trying to sleep with women the first night knowing nothing about them. Yet they have the nerves to complain when they get caught up.
The fact that all that needs to happen is in itself more to deal with than a woman without children. (Women in general) Either don't get pregnant by men you don't have a future with or go back to the father. But a man that has everything most women are looking for would rather not have any of those conversations. That woman would have to add an extreme amount of value for a man to want to put up with that dynamic.
@@DMcGuire323 hmm But the majority of black men don’t push marriages and healthy relationships. Y’all give bs reasons to have a baby but no marriage…or y’all will be engaged for years. I’m sure these women don’t think the men will just leave. Good women are being cheated on with crappy women and even with single mothers🫢🫢 make that make sense!! It takes s strong minded women to not beleive the bs and to protect herself secretly then with birth control. If y’all cared about the community then you’ll preach to men to stop creating babies out of wedlock. But no sleeping around and having a bunch of kids with a bunch of baby mamas is the ongoing trend.
Please stop it with that women are just ridiculous in this regards they deal with emotions I don't care what you said of me plans in the beginning they don't honor it they be any feelings and emotion and everything goes out the window what you discussed as if you don't know this like come on now like stop this painting the picture as if women are some who are able to process things except for in the workplace that's the only place they know how to be obedient to the master that gives them a paycheck other than that in the home they are whole different person and you know what the hell we talking about so please stop trying to create this narrative as if if you wrote it out to them you discussed this to them they would be different they all told this they all lie in the beginning to get their way stop it they say whatever it is to have a man around to help them rid of some that's not theirs are you serious right now can't believe you have the nerve to write this knowing it's like a sensor to me of delusion as if you don't know the real deal behind the doors when the cameras are gone when the cameras ain't on when everybody's gone just you two alone and the children that she has is not yours are you serious
A baby daddy came up to my job looking for me. Will never mess around with a single mother again.
That's also the reason women don't want to marry men with kids. It's a major problem both ways.
Facts. I’m not dealing with no woman telling me how to run my household just because you have a baby with him. Absolutely not. Most the times, baby mama don’t want-like those boundaries implemented.
🤨 These single fathers need to stop expecting to be able to date women who don’t already have children, as well…women don’t want to deal with other people’s unruly children either.
Not the same....women don't usually come into a men's life grabbing all responsibilities and paying all the bills ....men do😎
@@titoazua3120 well said! She won't get it though
@@titoazua3120 say it louder for the ones in the back…
I assume he's speaking of the majority of single mothers of color, from a man's perspective.
Simply because women in this country usually are privilege more access to her children, than of a man's seed. So single mothers would be a great example than that of single father's. Simply because woman are the majority.
@X very true indeed even with a lot of money its a hard spot
I was a single mother when I met my husband, when we decided we were serious and wanted to be a family, we discussed discipline together- he had a say so to an extent because we decided together. People who are truly looking to be a family work together. You can’t judge all single mothers off of some, js
If he is the man of the house he should have FULL SAY SO…you kind of told on yourself a lil bit he still can’t go about being the father he wants to be to the child cuz he only has a small amount of authority. You saying “to an extent” tells me a lot. Can he be a husband “to an extent”? Can he just pay the bills “to an extent”? I bet not!! If I have full responsibility I want FULL AUTHORITY
@@jareesgriffin9686 right
‘To an extent’ means he didn’t have any hah nice try..
Do any of you have children or been a stepparent? You’re just going to immediately give someone with no parenting experience total control over discipline? If so, you’re dumb.
"He had a say so to an extent..." Straight from the horses mouth, this is why it's wise to avoid single moms, at least one of the many reasons
I know one guy whose stepdad beat him. I know another guy whose mom's boyfriend beat him with a metal pipe to "discipline" him and he wound up with brain damage in the hospital. Us women have our reasons.
This is exactly why I waited until marriage to become a mother. My husband is the head of our household in every way.
Direct more of your energy toward your fellow bredren that abandon their families, creating the single mothers you can't stop complaining about.
Absolutely!
They behave as If males cannot do any wrong.
Real men don't abandon their children.
Both males & females need to be more responsible & mature.
Yup the woman has no fault 😂 shut up
What kinda women Y'ALL be dating?? I've dated a single mom (more than one) and know of other situations and it wasn't nothing like that.
This comment 💯🎯
They been with grown children 🙃
Ummm .. if you dated more than one .. did you live with each one??? How long??? Did you marry any of them? Did you take on the responsibility and parental roles? Did you ever have to discipline her children? What kind of single mothers were you dating if you didn’t marry any of them?
@@jatall2797 In fact I did. Obviously not ALL of them but my wife was a single mother. So my oldest daughter is really my step daughter but she's MY DAUGHTER Cuz!!! Plus we had 3 more kids together and been together for the last 15 years.
As for the other ones, marriage wasn't my goal as I was not mature enough at that point.
Get it? Got it? Good.
Yall old school players had a different take on simpology.. Yall thought simping was manhood.. Different times. Yall single mothers were more humble. These single mothers are entitled my guy.. We don't save those
@@SmifLaly bro, she IS NOT your daughter…definitely the simp in you is talking…you started off behaving totally oblivious to situation…it’s damn 100% known that many many women will have issue with Step father disciplining the kids and many of the kids will have big issue with you trying to come in and trying to be their father, when you are in fact not
As a single mom I'm not mad about any man who does not wona date me, but let's be clear, I'm not looking for a " man of the house or a dad for my kids" I pay my own bills, my kids have a dad, I have worked so hard to parent myself so am able to parent my kids n guide them, I cannot have another person come n displine my children. Single mom's date with intentions, we not looking to bring any low level to our warm, love filled homes! Single mom's are dating consciously aware men who understand boundaries n respect them. We have been married n we already have kids, we not settling for no one because our biological clock settled down n we know marriage ain't it. We looking for more n our standards are high.
You are talking about specific kind of women.
I am sigle mom and I am worried that my son(3) will not have healthy father figure.
But there is deep ignorance in the statement as well.
If you have relationship in dating level with women who have children is one thing.You do not have rights or dont share responsibilities regarding children.
Why would you demand discipline when you have not created relationship first with this child as family member?
P.S.My ex husband did exactly that.While we were still married and I was caring for newborn baby,he cheated with young single mom and raged with anger when she didnt let him control or discipline her child.
Never take things out of context.
Although I am also aware that we as man and women have lost the ability to create and maintain healthy relationshipd,not even talking about compromising.
p.s.Stop speading false narratives and teach man and women something useful.
Like self acceptance,self awarenes and self trust,so when they are faced with choices they can make decisions whats goid for them and take responsibility for that.
Facts
Why you the man of a house of someone you dating. I would never move in with a woman I wasn’t going to marry. Let her run her house how she wants and be friends with the kid. The kid will probably eventually respect you more than the mother. Lol.
If they're living together, they aren't dating. They're either married or cohabitated. That's the scenario he presented. A man should have authority in his own home.
Yes, this makes the most sense out of all the comments I’ve read. Well said, Sir. She is running her own house and he’s running his if they are in the dating stage. No man outright should be trying to discipline another’s child. Get to know the child build rapport with him/her then your disciplinary suggestions will come into play. But if I’m dating someone first of all I’m not even bringing my child around that man if I know it’s not going no where serious. It would at least be a year before I decide if I will bring my son around that man based on how our relationship is going.
Exactly. It's because these men don't believe in marriage to begin with and this is the reason that there are single mothers. Not one time do you hear these men say anything about marrying women first but bash women for being single mothers. Men love to avoid fault and blame women for everything. There is absolutely no accountability. In many cases these men arent even paying all the bills. They are paying half or none at all. They move in with women because they can't take care of themselves. I'm tired of hearing men talk their bs when they don't have the right to. I notice that men like to fraud, a lot!
If I move her in(because I ain't moving in with a woman EVER), then I'm intent on marrying her. That's gotta be worked up to. I tell the bros all the time to not move in with a woman you ain't serious about.
Just went through it. Got out of it. Talked to him (20’s) respectfully, about how cursing in front of his 2 yo nephew and his newborn son will influence their behavior. He bucked up and caught an attitude, and she caught one too and said to me “you should’ve talked to me about it” when she obviously was permissive of it
My man has 100% say so. There’s times where he’ll step back and let me do my thing as the mother but when my hubby speaks on any matter within the house hold his word is final. Point.blank.period. If a man is coming into the household and willing to take up the responsibilities that come along with a woman that man has all the say so.
My people are toxic....lets change🙁
Let's be clear of definitions or titles we give people and then talk🎯
@@purplesoul9927 👍...unnatural then