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What Schizophrenia Steals - Emotions Deeper in the Trenches - Episode 17
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- A “Just Us 3 Moms, Digging Deeper” Episode.
Tonight we just talk about our boys - and what we’ve lost, what they have lost.
Feeling even more alone than ever? Not only is your family member diagnosed with schizophrenia, but you have your own reactions and emotions to deal with - what is “normal”? What do other families feel? What are the stages of these reactions? What can be done?
We Three Moms have been there...are there...and we open up to share the raw truth with you. This podcast strives to explore issues, open minds, offer solutions...but we also promise to tell our truths. This is one of those episodes.
We touch on:
Anger, Grief, Helplessness, Fear, Guilt Resentment, Exhaustion - all normal feelings
What Siblings Lose
Family events - Changes in Routine (like travel) - possible with schizophrenia?
Grief - and how the process can differ (and repeat) with Schizophrenia in a loved one
The land of “What might have been…” sorrow - what have we lost?
The Burden Families Feel
When the Life Behind the eyes is gone
Bravery of our sons - They Try so Hard
Parental Fantasies, Expectations - and the Truth
Vulnerability of Loving
Getting Back to Joy in Real Life: Gratitude, Art, Advocacy, Feel but Don’t Wallow, Reality
“I see this damage to all my children - and that’s the thing I think that’s most painful” - Mimi
“There’s no life behind his eyes. What happened?” - Randye’s daughter
“You can’t reason with mental illness.” - NAMI saying
“What makes schizophrenia especially cruel is: it’s just such a shock” - Mindy
“In a sense, you have to let go of the idea of a future, and that is a particularly excruciating thing to have to do” - Mimi
“If you’re lost in crisis...get support, get education...reach out...don’t hide in the closet. You’re not alone.” - Randye
Links:
Randye and Ali on More than My Diagnosis.com
www.otsukapati...
Miriam Feldman Facebook “analogue Life”
/ miriamfeldmanwriter
Miriam and Nick on ABC News:
abcnews.go.com...
Mindy’s Talk for Mental Health Association of San Mateo County:
• Storytellers on Schizo...
Randye’s talk for Mental Health Association of San Mateo County:
• Storytellers on Schizo...
Who are the 3 moms?
Randye Kaye -Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (“Ben Behind his Voices”)
Miriam Feldman - Artist, Mom, Author “He Came in With It”
Mindy Greiling - member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. Activist, Legislator, Author (“Fix What You Can“)
I was surprised that nonone talked about art. Art therapy is wonderful. Collaging is easy and requires little effort. Music therapy is also a great escape. The art and music therapy has helped my relative immensely.
This is my favorite episode so far. Thanks for your honesty
I have been searching for other Mum's to have these conversations with. Such a lonely journey.
@@aimeehaugh6653 thanks so much!
i so understand what you are talking about Mimi when you mentioned the siblings all living far away for a reason. My son has one sister, two step sisters and one half brother. One half sister passed away at age 19. Out of those, his sister and one of his half sisters are the only ones that are mentally stable enough to help with their brother. But all siblings live hours away. And I understand why. But sometimes, dang it I could use the help and even more importantly, so could their brother! I'm so very thankful I have found you ladies!! I've been in the trenches now for 15 yrs and am just now finding and connecting with moms who are on the same road. Thanks to covid and zoom!
I can't thank you ladies enough! Learned about your channel through a SARDAA zoom meeting I regularly join. I'm a 54yo mom to a 36you son living with sz diagnosed at age 21. On/off meds over the years. He went into psychosis last summer due to being off meds and it has lasted until March of this year when i was able to get him to agree to the invega injection again. He's had two and has now started coming out of his psychosis. Only to refuse to receive the shot. I'm beyond exhausted. And was so happy to see glimpses of my son coming back. Now it just makes me sadder because I know he will slowly slip away again without the shot. Thanks again for sharing your stories and helping us moms out here know that we are not alone in the fight for our kids!!
thank you! will check it out, fellow warrior mom :)
thank you for this insight, i have schizo affective disorder i am 32 years of age, had my first psychosis at age 16. i often worry the trouble my family went through and youve enlightened that up more. please keep speaking about it and spread information!
thanks so much for your persepctive!
Girlfriend not a parent. My partner has been in psychosis for 5 months now. One hospitalization where he refused meds. His family is still in denial and won’t talk to him because he’s angry and says a lot of mean and uncomfortable things. They aren’t hardly speaking to him and don’t have the same views on mental health that I do. I’m going to fight for him with everything I’ve got but it’s so hard. I cry a lot. We were planning on getting married and buying a house before this and maybe even a baby. He is a brilliant network engineer. I guess I can’t be sure how much is lost until I can get him to stop refusing meds. He was 42 when this occurred, super late for this disorder and I’m pretty positive it was triggered by cannabis but has stayed even with him no longer using it. I try to think positive but at the end of the day I feel like this disease stole our lives and our future.
Oh Heather, so sorry to hear this.I used to think cannabis use was a symptom of schizophrenia, but I e changed my mind as new research has come in. Cannabis can definitely be a trigger. Check out our episode on that. One thing that is sad but true : you can’t “make” someone take meds. Check out our episode with Dr. Amador and/or his book I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help. We also have some episodes about when your spouse has SZ and that might help. If you are staying with your boyfriend I highly suggest NAMI family to family course. Maybe some of this will help 🤞🏻
@@SZ3MomsTrenches thank you. I do have the book and it has helped him come back around to talking to me and letting me back in the house after he gets angry. It also helped me to get him to resume his meds for an ongoing medical problem he has despite his belief that he’s cured of that. Unfortunately, he relapsed on alcohol which will kill him but he believes he’s healed and can drink again so he’s on a 96 hour hold now and he didn’t consent for them to give me info so I guess I wait. Last time I heard from them was the ER which confirmed they were in agreement with the hold. With it now being Monday maybe I will hear from someone. But I know 4 days aren’t going to cut it and last time they let him out. Other than when they take him in I don’t think he flips out on them the way he does me. Like he can’t fully hide that he’s not well but he seems to act much better for them than he does for me and doesn’t share with them like he does me. I guess that means he trusts me. I guess all I can do now is wait.
I'm thankful for this podcast in the wrongness of it and the realness of it it's my heart It's My Cry also thank you
I'm so grateful for this podcast and I have a lot of work to do and I don't know where to begin again because I've kind of been detached from caregiving and really making responsibility
I celebrate you ladies I'm so glad I found you! It's been a long journey hasn't it. How do you find the resources in the strengthen the time to work into care for your loved one in find them care and keep on track my son was diagnosed when he was 16 with schizoaffective disorder with bipolar Mania he's been in the state hospital once it's been Baker acted over and over and over his whole life only way we could get him help if that's what you want to call it but not really or stabilized last time I called for help they sent the whole SWAT team from the City of Lakeland Florida where we live and then they smoked him out because he wouldn't respond after hours of a standoff and they proceeded when he finally came out after the gas was so strong he couldn't stand it they punched him right in the face and thought that was okay so he's lived with us his whole life he's never worked never had two relationships outside of family except for when he was very young he he was blessed a lot of ways I ain't got to do a lot of things before he was 16 and had a lot of good people in his life but then you know that desertion comes the aloneness your whole family you feel like a leper even if you had a strong Community it dwindles away because people don't know what to do or how to do it and now I find myself right there my own son I don't know how to care for him anymore he's 30 he's going to be 31 November and really he's just doped up and has a pathetic existence but I'm grateful for it and he is too but I got to learn how to live with him again and care for him again at the age of 58 on low-income and his income is Social Security disability I don't know how to do it
Oh my… I hope you are getting some support for yourself? We need community
I don't have NAMI near me and when I checked, NAMI family to family was not available. Is it only available at certain times?
I don’t know where you live but many state NAMIs have a virtual version of F2F
Clozaril
I also have a few videos on our journey as of late on my channel if you care to check them out.