I'm really, REALLY tempted to make a whole lot of "Wonderwall" jokes but I won't. My favorite Oasis is a warm clear night with a telescope, my good observing chair, and my notebook and sketchbook. Spending all night in a flow state alone with the stars is the deepest recharge I can possibly get.
Don't look back in anger at the missed opportunity, TJ. I agree, it's a fulfilling spiritual experience. I'm with you there. I don't get the opportunity so much here on the island, since it's often cloudy and/or windy, frustratingly. Did you see the aurora yesterday (ish)? It was visible naked eye here (54 degrees N ish). But, true to form - mostly obscured by clouds!
I was diagnosed in September. I've spent the past few months doing exactly this throughout my house - making it not only calm and ordered but also easy to keep clean and tidy by upgrading all my storage. It's been hard work but truly one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Ultimate self care ❤
I cracked up every time you went to the shot of you laying down and trying to cuddle with the cat. The cat is like “nope, I don’t care if you’re filming. I’m not cuddling right now.” 😆
Hello Jenn, after decades, I finally started letting myself have extra time to… …just sit. Honestly planning transition time is a proper autism life hack!
Great video, no surprise there...Autistic content creators such as yourself provide a great oasis. I've just been sitting in one of mine for the first time this spring namely my garden. Sitting there with the sun on my face with nothing but birdsong to be heard is always such a great escape.
Thank you, my friend! Yes, agree - that spring Sunday yesterday was really lovely wasn't it? Like so much potential in the air. Some warmth... I loved this weekend! -Mike
I share my home with my adult son. Our profiles are opposite regarding tidiness and order. As a result I oasis myself in the two upstairs rooms where everything is just so, and he has the downstairs which is basically full of his film and lighting equipment and I avoid spending very much time there! I wish I could move to a less built up area where I had access to some nature more easily. That is my dream.
Hi Traci, I know someone else who does exactly the same. And it's sanity-saving, honestly - I'm really glad you've got your cosy/oasis spots. It's so important. I'm constantly working on my own film and lighting equipment to reduce the size and impact it has on my own cosy space; it's industrial, and ugly kit! Being close to nature is good, but there are things that can be done in a built up area. Window box feeder for birds? Or maybe a small fish tank or indoor terrarium?
@@Autistic_AF Thanks 🙏 I have a little garden but it is too much for me to deal with. I am going to move to a smaller property in a less built up area, just waiting for my son to move out and for the council to do the outstanding buildings repairs. I’m not going to be adding anything extra to my home because I need less stuff to make it easier when I move. In the meantime I will just watch your pets and aquarium 😁
This was another very well put together video, Mike, I especially liked Katja’s artwork and the peacock support animal - you have a flippin’ peacock omg! You are doing so well and I appreciate it so much. As was said in another comment, this channel and its community and the community in general is an oasis in and of itself, and it makes me so happy because it is something I never thought I would ever find and had resigned myself to a secluded life.
Thanks, Traci! Haha, yeah. It pooed on me moments after I recorded this. I have the film as a blooper (pooper?) lol. Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I really appreciate it. I really do. Yes, this channel, the lovely people here, and the wider online autistic community. I'm glad you've found your way into it :) -Mike
Yes yes yes I love the direct connections to an actual oasis! My make-do or on-the-go oasis is a private bathroom. My special place is my parent's back yard. I get to be in nature in a private space. Thank you for this wonderful video and insight ✨
I'm looking forward to changing a basement TV room this summer. Turning into place I can watch TV, play the guitar. Not sure yet what I can do but I do have vision for it.
My favourite oasis, sitting in my armchair by the window, looking over the town around me. Feet up, one cat on my lap, another one or two on my legs. Holding a warm cuppa tea or coffee and rubbing the mug (stim), and wriggling my toes (favourite stim), caressing one foot with the toes of the other. Add a sunset over the town outside my window and it's perfect, but that depends on the season for the position of the sun. I get the best sunsets in spring and autumn. In the winter they're behind houses. In summer they are okay, but not as beautiful. The fact that they aren't always there makes them more precious when they are. I should be getting the first ones within the next few days. 😁 (Edited for typo)
I live in a dence park. The creek that runs through it runs about 20 ft from my back patio... Besides being in bed, my favorite place to unwind and grab my bearings as an autistic person, is in my recliner next to the living room window. It doesn't matter what time of the year it is, the scenery always changes. 😊 Cup of coffee and hand and stimming with my feet and toes with my cat on my lap. That's the safest place for me 🩵
@@Autistic_AF Thank you. I also feel so grateful to be a part of a community that knows the value of something that can be powerful in our healing. I love you guys! 🩵
Dear Mike, what a lovely video! Oases are sooo important. My oases is sitting in my rocking chair with a coffee and a blanket with my feet up and staring out of my huge livingroom window full of plants into the beautiful sky (I live on the 7th floor in a tiny flat and have a great view from my balcony) rocking myself away. The safety of my rocking chair, my jungle window and the endless sky are soooo soothing and calming. I wish everyone could have a place that does this for them. Thank you for breaking "the oases" down to steps easy to follow and doable for anyone who wants to. 🤗
Wow this video is so amazing 🐱 before I was diagnosed I had those safe oasis in my head, after I found encoragement with my psychologist and in the autistic community I started to bring them out to touchable life It's actually one of the most helpful things on self love and I'm so glad for your tips 🎡🐇🌱
Love this😌 I have two very important places. Out in nature where I enjoy wandering and exploring, listening to the natural sounds, observe life, and often I film or take photos too. My dog is of course with me and we go on adventures everyday. Nature is my favorite place, I love being outside. I find myself humming and singing, it just happens when I am very at peace and happy. I didn’t know I did it until I started filming more, then I heard😄 My apartment is my second place, in that order as I do prefer being outside(when the weather is not horrific). I don’t need much in here except a bed, a desk and a good chair that spins. And a kettle and tea. I have a few more things but that is all I really need. Also my headphones, my phone and music, very important. I sing and dance a lot at home and listen to music. Draw, read, watch you tube. Spin 😄 Play with my dog, spend time with him, talk to him, sing to him etc. He is always with me and he makes my life so much better. It’s also important to me that I am alone here, I don’t like having people over. My family lives close but they respect that I don’t want company at my home. It makes me very very uncomfortable, like I’m being stepped on and exposed to the world, if people enter my safe space. If people can just show up when I need to be and expect to be alone that makes me feel very unsafe. It’s nothing personal but no one is welcome here except my dog of course. If I invite you that is super special. Then you are truly welcome. I don’t think that has ever happened in this apartment. Sometimes I can’t avoid going out in the busy world and for that my headphones and music helps me keep my peace. I do stim quite a bit when out and that helps too. The music is essential, I will dance too and spin. I love to spin. When I was younger I’d do handstands and cartwheels all the time but it’s been a while and my strength isn’t as good as it was. I should start doing it again, I love it. Sorry for this long comment, I just wanted to say thank you for this video I definitely got a lot from it and will be more conscious of things I can do to help myself even more. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now. My dog really helps me feel more confident out in the big world too. Animals are the best. 😌
I'm obsessed with nudibranches off the coast of Isle of Man and I blame you entirely. 😊 Sadly your friend's nudibranch book can't be shipped to my country. Maybe you could offer it as a prize one day. Also I suggest roasting butter or honey nut squash then using it in risotto with porcine mushrooms. I like to add a little white wine along with the veg broth. Thanks for all you do
I always used to spin for ages in the kitchen!🕺 Snorkelling is good too. It's like the lake is hugging you🤿 I'm more of a land slug 😝🐌 👍 good stuff! Thanks!
Hey fellow kitchen spinner haha! Watch out for knives and fragile things! YES, the hugging effect of pressure around is something I seek out :) haha. I'm so clumsy on land, but much better in the water. Take care PM! -Mike
Sometimes when my bed just doesn’t feel right I will sleep on the sofa with my warm fuzzy blanket and my quishy bear. The arm rest on the sofa gives me a sense of being hugged and I can recline the seat partway and sleep partially sitting up. Sleeping this way is one of my oasis and it helps me to sleep like a baby. 😌 My other oasis is a snack , my ipad and my warm blanket snuggled up on the sofa watching youtube videos for 6-8 hours a day with a few breaks in between to clean, eat, run errands etc…
I love this video. And I was surprised that you showed my artwork! I hope you like it and the unicorn horn wasn't too much. LOL I am so grateful for this community!!!!!
@@Autistic_AF First of all, this video was a work of art. And then to seamlessly weave my art into your topic was like the cherry on top of something already amazing. I am so glad I took @ThomasHenley advice to check out your channel! I would like to play a clip of you talking about my artwork in my next video. If I can figure out how to control OBS. LOL Honestly, This last week talking to you and others in this community has been magical- like a dream I didn't know I had come true. Oh, and sorry I didn't see your messages in the chat on my last livestream. Helen told me to turn off top chat and I saw you were there! Thank you for your support!!!!!!
You a definitely a unicorn. It's funny though, because I thought I should add wings.... Maybe I will. You will have to watch the next stream to find out!! @@Autistic_AF
That was an amazing art piece you did! Too bad it was only shown for a few moments. Will ask Mike to show it again on the next stream or on the community tab maybe? There was so much detail in it and I would love to study it closer
Just after I was first diagnosed a few years ago I was under a lot of work pressure and a shortcut another fellow took caused thousands of dollars of my equipment to destroyed. I felt sweating start, my head clouded, and I recognized a pattern that had happened multiple times in the past where I would keep trying to push thru but thoughts would circle around and around in my head and I'd stall out in a mild rage, sometimes for days. For the first time I thought "Wait I'm autistic, this must be what frustration feels like." I stopped working and went and laid down. A half of an hour later was feeling fine. I never would have thought of that before I knew I was autistic. For me, just knowing that I need to put things down and relax can be amazing in itself.
That's huge! Way to go. 🎉 I experience intense emotions similarly, it sounds like. It's hard work to learn to be curious about them and name them in real time.
Honestly, "knowledge is half the battle" couldn't be truer. Just knowing, and putting a label on these things almost unlocks a powerful set of coping strategies, once you know them. -Mike
Before my retirement, I would sit in my car playing music, head over to a nearby green space for lunch. My breaks were in the bathroom or an empty room to get away from the overstimulations...But you couldn't escape the lighting! 😫 Nobody seemed to want to get to know me or socialize even when I was open to it; which for the most part I was ok with as an introvert. When I was in the military I did the same, except when I transferred to the Navy I was living onboard 24/7 so there wasn't any quiet places to escape too - plus the smells and the types of lighting used. Most people got used to it, but I never did. It's no wonder I had a breakdown... I tried going on a cruise once... IT WAS A TOTAL NIGHTMARE! 😫😫😫😵💫🥺😭 The wilds are the best places for me. 🌼🍂🌿☘️🌱🌵🦎🦔🦊🦉🦇🦅🐻🐺🐸🐿️🐾🐰🐦🐢🐀🐊🐋🐍🐙🐟🐠🐡🐬🦂🦑🦐🦈
Thank you for this. A good reminder. My ADHD chaotic, messy self is constantly in conflict with my need-for-organization autistic self. Maybe I need to designate one space that always "in order"as my oasis. Not sure if that will work, but I'm willing to try.
Love the idea of creating an oasis, but it might have to wait until I'm less burnt out for now. I have a rocking chair that I loved as a kid, which I still rock on now, although I'm too big to put my feet on the rockers comfortably now 🤣
@@Autistic_AF Yes, I can see how a rocker would be an issue with so many fur babies around!! We only had 2 cats when I was growing up, so I don't think it ever happened xx
@@Autistic_AF I got triggered by this and found for 's all this: KingCamp Orchid Rocking Chair and search for "gliding rocking chair" or "glider". Those have non-moving feet.
with water is usually pretty relaxing, swimming is chill. or chill music helps, nature is pretty chill. at the sea usually. is there any kind of gardening? ifound plucking leaves to dry pretty relaxing?!
Great video, the advice is amazing and well presented. Also... 1. there may not be any more oasis b-roll left for the future :) 2. pizza hoodie 3. nice job working in the sea slugs
Excellent video Mike. Alicia is going to be surprised to see her pics in there 😊. Katja's art work is excellent. I also spotted your shop just now, excellent idea.😊 Love the MC shot 😆 that really had me in stitches that night. Hope your day is a good one. 😊
Hey Helen, haha - surprise! I did say to Alicia that they'd be in a video soon :) (any excuse to add nudibranchs to a conversation is a good conversation!). The shop's nearly ready - there's been some drama with RUclips not allowing a Tea & Tails mug as they thought it was against their policies (why??) but a Tea & Tails apron and drawstring bag they thought, were fine! So, nearly haha. Thank you :). I loved that Minecraft Session - I'll be spending some more time on the server soon, maybe this afternoon ;) I hope your day is lovely too! -Mike
Yes!!!! OMG!!! The Conference House Park... I walk there every day! There's barely anyone there, ever!!! It's calm and quiet, there are deer, fox, ducks, all sorts of birds. I walk through it and rant to myself to process whatever is on my mind.
I had never thought about "visual stimming" but totally makes sense! There's already some years I've been watching reading vlogs and camping videos because I think they are very relaxing and I do it very often to slow down my mind 😊
My oasis is my bedroom! It has safe sensory lighting, my comfort plushies, my headphones, and fidgets!! I love being in my own space where i can stim freely and engage in my special interests! :D After masking all day, I engage in one of my current obsessions/special interest, bee swarm simulator, which is a bee game on Roblox. Sometimes, I can get in my head and feel really embarrassed to engage in this particular interest because it's considered "weird," "cringe," and "childish". Roblox is seen as something people my age should grow out of (lots of my friends who i used to play with stopped and moved on). But honestly, the bee game makes me happy, it engages me for hours and keeps me going. I'm learning to allow myself to engage in my interests, no matter how they can be perceived by others because after all, its MY life! Anyways, thanks if you read my tedtalk lol. Love your videos btw, they make me feel seen and very understood as a late identified/diagnosed autistic teen! :)
Wow! This was perfect timing to see this because of my situation right now. I don't know if this was made before or after trying to figure out about withdrawing from school, but either way, this gave me so much motivation to start creating a Oasis for myself. I know this is for everyone to see but in a way, I feel to a degree that this was definitely meant for me if that makes sense. Thank you so much Mike!
Hi Lauren. I wrote and recorded this on Sunday, but didn't have time to finish editing for the weekend. I'm sorry to hear what you shared on the livestream. We've all been there. I've had to leave a course before - and worse... following autistic burnout. That draining of abilities, is unlike anything else. It's not your fault. But, creating that oasis can help you recover faster - and you'll be less prone to the negative effects of our shared condition(s) if you have this safety. I hope you don't think I wrote it about you, but it is also for you if that makes sense. You're always welcome. Regards to Sean. Take care both of you. -Mike
My Oasis is lying In my bed in darkness, looking at excavators RUclips while listening to "fantasy loft hiphop" on repeat over and over again , ore eating Indian takeaway home by myself on a Friday evening same routine as every Friday while listening to my favorite podcast🙂!. Going for a long car ride with a good audiobook is also really comforting.
I love this video, thank you for sharing it. Over the 2 and a Rs since my late AuDHD diagnosis, I have made my room into my oasis. I love my galaxy lamp, Alexa plugs and round robot, and hue bulbs for highly controllable lighting. I use Alexa routines to make a very gentle combination of lights and music to wake up to, as well as voice routines for specific times, like the lights and music to read to before bed. And your video helped me realise that, having had a stressful and pain-filled day, I spent a lot of time in bed, and it was important to make the bed again before I start my evening routine, so that my bed is predictable and comfortable to get in to.
"Military-grade autism" is a fantastic phrase 🤭 And Mr. E. S. Peacock is quite dashing! Thank you for the oasis comparison, examples, and encouragements to tailor our spaces to our unique needs. 🏝️ I seem to be making these post-dx adjustments in phases. Excited to see where this next phase takes me! I've always been drawn to very small spaces and love the song "In my own little corner" from Brandy and Whitney Houston's Cinderella. Maybe at 33, equipped with my dx, and growing confidence in my AuDHD self thanks to communities like this one, I'll finally give that little kiddo inside of me the safe, cozy corner they've always craved. ☺️
Thank you, so much. I appreciate you and your kind comments. I'm listening to, 'in my own little corner' now - it's brilliant. YES, this, EXACTLY this vibe. I'm excited for you too - being present and conscious about these things rather than accidentally bumbling into them like I've been doing pre-dx for decades... it's so much better. I wish someone had told me earlier. Take care! -Mike
The Brandy and Whitney Houston version of Cinderella movie is an adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella starring Julie Andrews in 1957. She was the best singer. She cannot sing anymore because she had surgery to remove her nodules and it damaged her vocal cords. And they did another movie with Lesley Ann Werren in 1965, and then Brandy’s. And then broadway broadway broadway with Laura Osnes (2013), I listen to some of the songs in the soundtrack. Since Mike have used the word, ‘lovely’ when he saw me in minecraft and replying to one of my DM, it reminds me of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack, “a lovely night, a lovely night, A finer night you know you'll never see...” The other favorite song is “10 mintes ago.” Next is “in my own little corner,” “its possible,” “Possible” and “sister’s lament.” The story on broadway version is really nice because… I could on an on.. oh and also…
@LeslieT. This made me smile so big! 🎉 Thank you for the info, I didn't know that Cinderella has been adapted so many times. I just knew the animated Disney and then Brandy's version. 😂 I have been leaning into comfort movies lately. Last weekend I geeked and watched the full 3 hour Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. I'll have to watch the Cinderella version she's in! I love so much when a single word just zaps a song into my mind like that! Lovely night is SO good! 🤴🏻❤️👸🏾 Re. your lineup of favorite songs: Yes yes yes! Every song in that Brandy version is dreamy. I love what Whitney Houston brought to the soundtrack. Just such a phenomenal cast and behind the scenes team they had! If you want to share more, I'm happy to keep reading. Bring on the info dump,! That's my language 🤓
@@Autistic_AFRight? Ah well, we know now. I felt so strange because at different points in my life I'd retreat into literal closets when I was overstimulated. They're so cozy and quiet with all the fabrics absorbing or muting sounds. And they're nice snug spaces. Now I know why ☺️ Thanks for checking out the song! I swear, my main languages are info dumps and song recs. So, it makes my day when someone looks into a recommendation or a reference I've made. So glad to have found folks fluent in my languages. 🥰
I am so very glad I found your channel, excellent content, I also feel so connected with the comments section, so relatable, these are my people, finally I know I am not alone.
my oasis is my cafe. wherever i go, i find a small local cafe that i go to everyday. i'll order the same thing everyday til people start to make preparations as soon as i walk in.....in short, it's Cheers! the world takes everything i've got, so i'll rest up in a place where everyone knows my name, and glad i came! :)
I never knew i was making adaptations... now that i know i think i was very smart doing it😂. Lights sounds everything in my house is friendly autistic. My oasis is my home in and out...my garden and the time i spend working in. Watching plants and animals in silence. My cats sleeping with me while im crocheting...A blanket, a serie, a book or learning the last or old interest.
Being easily prone to inner-ear infections from as little as a night's worth of ear plug use, or an entire day's worth of circumaural headphone use, is the biggest f. you my body could have devised to keep having me suffer through unwelcome stimuli. A silent room as a place to retreat to sounds like a very appealing idea, unfortunately the only personal space I have in this tiny house is my 130 sqft bedroom, where I have my computer... and being a total computer nerd, I have a noise floor of 36 dBA with a custom-built computer (needing to be on 24/7 since it's also a multi-purpose server for every other device I own), already utilizing a noise-optimized fan curve I could best describe as "spin silently enough to just barely manage to keep components 10-15 centigrade below overheating". So unless I ditch the dining table to replace it with a lounger, I don't see myself ever getting silence.
🌲 Oasis is usually a place, for me ocean:sea, mountains too, but for some of us an oasis can also be a focus on our interest where the rest of the world disappears so we enter in effect our own space, place, in a timeless world. sometimes i can disappear into a book, and the rest of the world is gone: adieu 🦢 ❤
I love peacock-island ("Pfaueninsel"), it is in fact my personal paradise here in Berlin. When I lived in Charlottenburg I went there very often, even using public transport it was not so far. But peacocks are really strange birds for me. They are so beautiful, but their scream is so loud and fears me somehow. They are very unpredictable in their behaviour, I can't "read" them like other birds. Once I walked there and recognized a bunch of them were following me. There were no other people. They went on following me a long time and distance, it felt creepy. I don't know why they scare me🤷🏽♀️ I don't dislike them, just feel unsecure with them. How did You end up having peacocks? And has he no name like Your other pets?
![Oscar Maydon x Fuerza Regida - Tu Boda [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_ymicn0_GYc/mqdefault.jpg)
Even Superman has a Fortress of Solitude.
Good analogy, yes :)
I'm really, REALLY tempted to make a whole lot of "Wonderwall" jokes but I won't.
My favorite Oasis is a warm clear night with a telescope, my good observing chair, and my notebook and sketchbook. Spending all night in a flow state alone with the stars is the deepest recharge I can possibly get.
Don't look back in anger at the missed opportunity, TJ.
I agree, it's a fulfilling spiritual experience. I'm with you there. I don't get the opportunity so much here on the island, since it's often cloudy and/or windy, frustratingly. Did you see the aurora yesterday (ish)? It was visible naked eye here (54 degrees N ish). But, true to form - mostly obscured by clouds!
I was diagnosed in September. I've spent the past few months doing exactly this throughout my house - making it not only calm and ordered but also easy to keep clean and tidy by upgrading all my storage. It's been hard work but truly one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Ultimate self care ❤
Love!! I’m doing this too
I cracked up every time you went to the shot of you laying down and trying to cuddle with the cat. The cat is like “nope, I don’t care if you’re filming. I’m not cuddling right now.” 😆
Cats man! What can you do? They’re so contrary and fickle!
The inability to transition out of the car once you reach your destination... That hit home! Fantastic video I loved it
Hello Jenn, after decades, I finally started letting myself have extra time to…
…just sit.
Honestly planning transition time is a proper autism life hack!
Great video, no surprise there...Autistic content creators such as yourself provide a great oasis. I've just been sitting in one of mine for the first time this spring namely my garden. Sitting there with the sun on my face with nothing but birdsong to be heard is always such a great escape.
Thank you, my friend! Yes, agree - that spring Sunday yesterday was really lovely wasn't it? Like so much potential in the air. Some warmth... I loved this weekend! -Mike
I share my home with my adult son. Our profiles are opposite regarding tidiness and order. As a result I oasis myself in the two upstairs rooms where everything is just so, and he has the downstairs which is basically full of his film and lighting equipment and I avoid spending very much time there! I wish I could move to a less built up area where I had access to some nature more easily. That is my dream.
Hi Traci, I know someone else who does exactly the same. And it's sanity-saving, honestly - I'm really glad you've got your cosy/oasis spots. It's so important. I'm constantly working on my own film and lighting equipment to reduce the size and impact it has on my own cosy space; it's industrial, and ugly kit! Being close to nature is good, but there are things that can be done in a built up area. Window box feeder for birds? Or maybe a small fish tank or indoor terrarium?
@@Autistic_AF Thanks 🙏 I have a little garden but it is too much for me to deal with. I am going to move to a smaller property in a less built up area, just waiting for my son to move out and for the council to do the outstanding buildings repairs. I’m not going to be adding anything extra to my home because I need less stuff to make it easier when I move. In the meantime I will just watch your pets and aquarium 😁
Similar thing in my house! Frustrating.
This was another very well put together video, Mike, I especially liked Katja’s artwork and the peacock support animal - you have a flippin’ peacock omg! You are doing so well and I appreciate it so much. As was said in another comment, this channel and its community and the community in general is an oasis in and of itself, and it makes me so happy because it is something I never thought I would ever find and had resigned myself to a secluded life.
Thanks, Traci! Haha, yeah. It pooed on me moments after I recorded this. I have the film as a blooper (pooper?) lol. Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I really appreciate it. I really do. Yes, this channel, the lovely people here, and the wider online autistic community. I'm glad you've found your way into it :) -Mike
Yes yes yes I love the direct connections to an actual oasis! My make-do or on-the-go oasis is a private bathroom. My special place is my parent's back yard. I get to be in nature in a private space. Thank you for this wonderful video and insight ✨
I'm looking forward to changing a basement TV room this summer. Turning into place I can watch TV, play the guitar. Not sure yet what I can do but I do have vision for it.
My favourite oasis, sitting in my armchair by the window, looking over the town around me. Feet up, one cat on my lap, another one or two on my legs. Holding a warm cuppa tea or coffee and rubbing the mug (stim), and wriggling my toes (favourite stim), caressing one foot with the toes of the other. Add a sunset over the town outside my window and it's perfect, but that depends on the season for the position of the sun. I get the best sunsets in spring and autumn. In the winter they're behind houses. In summer they are okay, but not as beautiful. The fact that they aren't always there makes them more precious when they are. I should be getting the first ones within the next few days. 😁 (Edited for typo)
I live in a dence park. The creek that runs through it runs about 20 ft from my back patio... Besides being in bed, my favorite place to unwind and grab my bearings as an autistic person, is in my recliner next to the living room window. It doesn't matter what time of the year it is, the scenery always changes. 😊 Cup of coffee and hand and stimming with my feet and toes with my cat on my lap. That's the safest place for me 🩵
yay toes :D that like also easy acessable
That sounds so lovely - I love your oasis! ☀️ 😊 🌅
Watching the world go by!
@@Autistic_AF Thank you. I also feel so grateful to be a part of a community that knows the value of something that can be powerful in our healing. I love you guys! 🩵
Dear Mike, what a lovely video! Oases are sooo important. My oases is sitting in my rocking chair with a coffee and a blanket with my feet up and staring out of my huge livingroom window full of plants into the beautiful sky (I live on the 7th floor in a tiny flat and have a great view from my balcony) rocking myself away. The safety of my rocking chair, my jungle window and the endless sky are soooo soothing and calming. I wish everyone could have a place that does this for them.
Thank you for breaking "the oases" down to steps easy to follow and doable for anyone who wants to. 🤗
Thank you Mike. You've created a wholesome and inclusive shared oasis on the internet. 😊🥰
Wow that is true!
Thank you so much. And - thank you for your support. It means a lot to me and the other autisti-cats.
Composition and transition of Your video are so so so so nice. Except of informations which are very helpfull, i would consider it a piece of art.
Wow this video is so amazing 🐱 before I was diagnosed I had those safe oasis in my head, after I found encoragement with my psychologist and in the autistic community I started to bring them out to touchable life
It's actually one of the most helpful things on self love and I'm so glad for your tips 🎡🐇🌱
Love this😌
I have two very important places.
Out in nature where I enjoy wandering and exploring, listening to the natural sounds, observe life, and often I film or take photos too. My dog is of course with me and we go on adventures everyday. Nature is my favorite place, I love being outside. I find myself humming and singing, it just happens when I am very at peace and happy. I didn’t know I did it until I started filming more, then I heard😄
My apartment is my second place, in that order as I do prefer being outside(when the weather is not horrific). I don’t need much in here except a bed, a desk and a good chair that spins. And a kettle and tea. I have a few more things but that is all I really need. Also my headphones, my phone and music, very important. I sing and dance a lot at home and listen to music. Draw, read, watch you tube. Spin 😄 Play with my dog, spend time with him, talk to him, sing to him etc. He is always with me and he makes my life so much better.
It’s also important to me that I am alone here, I don’t like having people over. My family lives close but they respect that I don’t want company at my home. It makes me very very uncomfortable, like I’m being stepped on and exposed to the world, if people enter my safe space. If people can just show up when I need to be and expect to be alone that makes me feel very unsafe. It’s nothing personal but no one is welcome here except my dog of course. If I invite you that is super special. Then you are truly welcome. I don’t think that has ever happened in this apartment.
Sometimes I can’t avoid going out in the busy world and for that my headphones and music helps me keep my peace. I do stim quite a bit when out and that helps too. The music is essential, I will dance too and spin.
I love to spin.
When I was younger I’d do handstands and cartwheels all the time but it’s been a while and my strength isn’t as good as it was. I should start doing it again, I love it.
Sorry for this long comment, I just wanted to say thank you for this video I definitely got a lot from it and will be more conscious of things I can do to help myself even more. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now.
My dog really helps me feel more confident out in the big world too. Animals are the best. 😌
I'm obsessed with nudibranches off the coast of Isle of Man and I blame you entirely. 😊 Sadly your friend's nudibranch book can't be shipped to my country. Maybe you could offer it as a prize one day.
Also I suggest roasting butter or honey nut squash then using it in risotto with porcine mushrooms. I like to add a little white wine along with the veg broth. Thanks for all you do
I always used to spin for ages in the kitchen!🕺
Snorkelling is good too. It's like the lake is hugging you🤿
I'm more of a land slug 😝🐌
👍 good stuff! Thanks!
Hey fellow kitchen spinner haha! Watch out for knives and fragile things! YES, the hugging effect of pressure around is something I seek out :) haha. I'm so clumsy on land, but much better in the water. Take care PM! -Mike
Sometimes when my bed just doesn’t feel right I will sleep on the sofa with my warm fuzzy blanket and my quishy bear. The arm rest on the sofa gives me a sense of being hugged and I can recline the seat partway and sleep partially sitting up. Sleeping this way is one of my oasis and it helps me to sleep like a baby. 😌 My other oasis is a snack , my ipad and my warm blanket snuggled up on the sofa watching youtube videos for 6-8 hours a day with a few breaks in between to clean, eat, run errands etc…
I love this video. And I was surprised that you showed my artwork! I hope you like it and the unicorn horn wasn't too much. LOL I am so grateful for this community!!!!!
You mean to say that I’m not a real unicorn? 🦄 haha. Great work, Katja!
@@Autistic_AF First of all, this video was a work of art. And then to seamlessly weave my art into your topic was like the cherry on top of something already amazing. I am so glad I took @ThomasHenley advice to check out your channel! I would like to play a clip of you talking about my artwork in my next video. If I can figure out how to control OBS. LOL Honestly, This last week talking to you and others in this community has been magical- like a dream I didn't know I had come true. Oh, and sorry I didn't see your messages in the chat on my last livestream. Helen told me to turn off top chat and I saw you were there! Thank you for your support!!!!!!
You a definitely a unicorn. It's funny though, because I thought I should add wings.... Maybe I will. You will have to watch the next stream to find out!! @@Autistic_AF
That was an amazing art piece you did! Too bad it was only shown for a few moments. Will ask Mike to show it again on the next stream or on the community tab maybe? There was so much detail in it and I would love to study it closer
@@JanneGlass It’s on the community tab! I’d like to see all the detail too!
Just after I was first diagnosed a few years ago I was under a lot of work pressure and a shortcut another fellow took caused thousands of dollars of my equipment to destroyed. I felt sweating start, my head clouded, and I recognized a pattern that had happened multiple times in the past where I would keep trying to push thru but thoughts would circle around and around in my head and I'd stall out in a mild rage, sometimes for days. For the first time I thought "Wait I'm autistic, this must be what frustration feels like." I stopped working and went and laid down. A half of an hour later was feeling fine. I never would have thought of that before I knew I was autistic. For me, just knowing that I need to put things down and relax can be amazing in itself.
That's huge! Way to go. 🎉 I experience intense emotions similarly, it sounds like. It's hard work to learn to be curious about them and name them in real time.
Honestly, "knowledge is half the battle" couldn't be truer. Just knowing, and putting a label on these things almost unlocks a powerful set of coping strategies, once you know them. -Mike
Before my retirement, I would sit in my car playing music, head over to a nearby green space for lunch. My breaks were in the bathroom or an empty room to get away from the overstimulations...But you couldn't escape the lighting! 😫
Nobody seemed to want to get to know me or socialize even when I was open to it; which for the most part I was ok with as an introvert.
When I was in the military I did the same, except when I transferred to the Navy I was living onboard 24/7 so there wasn't any quiet places to escape too - plus the smells and the types of lighting used. Most people got used to it, but I never did. It's no wonder I had a breakdown...
I tried going on a cruise once... IT WAS A TOTAL NIGHTMARE! 😫😫😫😵💫🥺😭
The wilds are the best places for me. 🌼🍂🌿☘️🌱🌵🦎🦔🦊🦉🦇🦅🐻🐺🐸🐿️🐾🐰🐦🐢🐀🐊🐋🐍🐙🐟🐠🐡🐬🦂🦑🦐🦈
Thank you for this. A good reminder. My ADHD chaotic, messy self is constantly in conflict with my need-for-organization autistic self. Maybe I need to designate one space that always "in order"as my oasis. Not sure if that will work, but I'm willing to try.
Love the idea of creating an oasis, but it might have to wait until I'm less burnt out for now. I have a rocking chair that I loved as a kid, which I still rock on now, although I'm too big to put my feet on the rockers comfortably now 🤣
Oh that's so amazing that you have that rocking chair! Rocking chairs are amazing but I can't have one (too many paws and tails). -Mike
@@Autistic_AF Yes, I can see how a rocker would be an issue with so many fur babies around!! We only had 2 cats when I was growing up, so I don't think it ever happened xx
@@Autistic_AF I got triggered by this and found for 's all this: KingCamp Orchid Rocking Chair and search for "gliding rocking chair" or "glider". Those have non-moving feet.
with water is usually pretty relaxing, swimming is chill. or chill music helps, nature is pretty chill.
at the sea usually.
is there any kind of gardening? ifound plucking leaves to dry pretty relaxing?!
:)
This is the only way I can ever get to sleep. I have so many comfort rituals.
I want to like when you ask. Then my PDA has its say. 😁
Great video, the advice is amazing and well presented. Also... 1. there may not be any more oasis b-roll left for the future :) 2. pizza hoodie 3. nice job working in the sea slugs
I left some stock for everyone else! Thanks. Pizza 🍕 is so good on everything! 3. TY :)
Excellent video Mike. Alicia is going to be surprised to see her pics in there 😊. Katja's art work is excellent. I also spotted your shop just now, excellent idea.😊 Love the MC shot 😆 that really had me in stitches that night. Hope your day is a good one. 😊
Hey Helen, haha - surprise! I did say to Alicia that they'd be in a video soon :) (any excuse to add nudibranchs to a conversation is a good conversation!). The shop's nearly ready - there's been some drama with RUclips not allowing a Tea & Tails mug as they thought it was against their policies (why??) but a Tea & Tails apron and drawstring bag they thought, were fine! So, nearly haha. Thank you :). I loved that Minecraft Session - I'll be spending some more time on the server soon, maybe this afternoon ;) I hope your day is lovely too! -Mike
Yes!!!!
OMG!!!
The Conference House Park...
I walk there every day! There's barely anyone there, ever!!!
It's calm and quiet, there are deer, fox, ducks, all sorts of birds.
I walk through it and rant to myself to process whatever is on my mind.
That sounds like a lovely place.
@Autistic_AF sure is!!!
It's where the Declaration of Independence was drafted.
I had never thought about "visual stimming" but totally makes sense! There's already some years I've been watching reading vlogs and camping videos because I think they are very relaxing and I do it very often to slow down my mind 😊
My issue is My Oasis is the same place from which I must create productivity. Hence, both seem in paradox.
It's similar for me, too. I get it - clear demarkation of time is another way to separate out the stresses if that's possible for you too. -Mike
Great video❤️👍 Thank you.😉
While ES Peacocks look great in your lap, the scream-calls would drive to my grave.😂🤭
🥰🇨🇦
So true! lol Renee!
My oasis is my bedroom! It has safe sensory lighting, my comfort plushies, my headphones, and fidgets!! I love being in my own space where i can stim freely and engage in my special interests! :D
After masking all day, I engage in one of my current obsessions/special interest, bee swarm simulator, which is a bee game on Roblox. Sometimes, I can get in my head and feel really embarrassed to engage in this particular interest because it's considered "weird," "cringe," and "childish". Roblox is seen as something people my age should grow out of (lots of my friends who i used to play with stopped and moved on). But honestly, the bee game makes me happy, it engages me for hours and keeps me going. I'm learning to allow myself to engage in my interests, no matter how they can be perceived by others because after all, its MY life!
Anyways, thanks if you read my tedtalk lol. Love your videos btw, they make me feel seen and very understood as a late identified/diagnosed autistic teen! :)
Wow! This was perfect timing to see this because of my situation right now. I don't know if this was made before or after trying to figure out about withdrawing from school, but either way, this gave me so much motivation to start creating a Oasis for myself. I know this is for everyone to see but in a way, I feel to a degree that this was definitely meant for me if that makes sense. Thank you so much Mike!
Hi Lauren. I wrote and recorded this on Sunday, but didn't have time to finish editing for the weekend. I'm sorry to hear what you shared on the livestream. We've all been there. I've had to leave a course before - and worse... following autistic burnout. That draining of abilities, is unlike anything else. It's not your fault. But, creating that oasis can help you recover faster - and you'll be less prone to the negative effects of our shared condition(s) if you have this safety. I hope you don't think I wrote it about you, but it is also for you if that makes sense. You're always welcome. Regards to Sean. Take care both of you. -Mike
My Oasis is lying In my bed in darkness, looking at excavators RUclips while listening to "fantasy loft hiphop" on repeat over and over again , ore eating Indian takeaway home by myself on a Friday evening same routine as every Friday while listening to my favorite podcast🙂!. Going for a long car ride with a good audiobook is also really comforting.
🧡
Mike, what an excellent video!
Thank you ☺️- glad you like it! :)
Awesome video! The water is my happy place too. So true on Oasis.
Thank you, solgirl. There's something about the way water is, the way it moves, what life it supports. Thank you.
I love this video, thank you for sharing it. Over the 2 and a Rs since my late AuDHD diagnosis, I have made my room into my oasis. I love my galaxy lamp, Alexa plugs and round robot, and hue bulbs for highly controllable lighting. I use Alexa routines to make a very gentle combination of lights and music to wake up to, as well as voice routines for specific times, like the lights and music to read to before bed.
And your video helped me realise that, having had a stressful and pain-filled day, I spent a lot of time in bed, and it was important to make the bed again before I start my evening routine, so that my bed is predictable and comfortable to get in to.
"Military-grade autism" is a fantastic phrase 🤭 And Mr. E. S. Peacock is quite dashing!
Thank you for the oasis comparison, examples, and encouragements to tailor our spaces to our unique needs. 🏝️
I seem to be making these post-dx adjustments in phases. Excited to see where this next phase takes me!
I've always been drawn to very small spaces and love the song "In my own little corner" from Brandy and Whitney Houston's Cinderella. Maybe at 33, equipped with my dx, and growing confidence in my AuDHD self thanks to communities like this one, I'll finally give that little kiddo inside of me the safe, cozy corner they've always craved. ☺️
Thank you, so much. I appreciate you and your kind comments. I'm listening to, 'in my own little corner' now - it's brilliant. YES, this, EXACTLY this vibe. I'm excited for you too - being present and conscious about these things rather than accidentally bumbling into them like I've been doing pre-dx for decades... it's so much better. I wish someone had told me earlier.
Take care! -Mike
The Brandy and Whitney Houston version of Cinderella movie is an adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella starring Julie Andrews in 1957. She was the best singer. She cannot sing anymore because she had surgery to remove her nodules and it damaged her vocal cords. And they did another movie with Lesley Ann Werren in 1965, and then Brandy’s. And then broadway broadway broadway with Laura Osnes (2013), I listen to some of the songs in the soundtrack. Since Mike have used the word, ‘lovely’ when he saw me in minecraft and replying to one of my DM, it reminds me of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack, “a lovely night, a lovely night, A finer night you know you'll never see...” The other favorite song is “10 mintes ago.” Next is “in my own little corner,” “its possible,” “Possible” and “sister’s lament.” The story on broadway version is really nice because… I could on an on.. oh and also…
@LeslieT. This made me smile so big! 🎉 Thank you for the info, I didn't know that Cinderella has been adapted so many times. I just knew the animated Disney and then Brandy's version. 😂
I have been leaning into comfort movies lately. Last weekend I geeked and watched the full 3 hour Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. I'll have to watch the Cinderella version she's in!
I love so much when a single word just zaps a song into my mind like that! Lovely night is SO good! 🤴🏻❤️👸🏾
Re. your lineup of favorite songs: Yes yes yes! Every song in that Brandy version is dreamy. I love what Whitney Houston brought to the soundtrack. Just such a phenomenal cast and behind the scenes team they had!
If you want to share more, I'm happy to keep reading. Bring on the info dump,! That's my language 🤓
@@Autistic_AFRight? Ah well, we know now. I felt so strange because at different points in my life I'd retreat into literal closets when I was overstimulated. They're so cozy and quiet with all the fabrics absorbing or muting sounds. And they're nice snug spaces. Now I know why ☺️
Thanks for checking out the song! I swear, my main languages are info dumps and song recs. So, it makes my day when someone looks into a recommendation or a reference I've made. So glad to have found folks fluent in my languages. 🥰
Pro tip: Do NOT try to mix cats with baths.
Fantastic and inspirational video! I loved the nature theme, and the background music made the experience of watching the video soothing.
I am so very glad I found your channel, excellent content, I also feel so connected with the comments section, so relatable, these are my people, finally I know I am not alone.
my oasis is my cafe. wherever i go, i find a small local cafe that i go to everyday. i'll order the same thing everyday til people start to make preparations as soon as i walk in.....in short, it's Cheers! the world takes everything i've got, so i'll rest up in a place where everyone knows my name, and glad i came! :)
sometimes my work really gets to me, and i escape to my cafe for 15 minutes, but it makes a huge difference :)
I never knew i was making adaptations... now that i know i think i was very smart doing it😂. Lights sounds everything in my house is friendly autistic. My oasis is my home in and out...my garden and the time i spend working in. Watching plants and animals in silence. My cats sleeping with me while im crocheting...A blanket, a serie, a book or learning the last or old interest.
Another great video, and thanks for always reminding people to hydrate 😊
Thank you, Eric! #Hydrate! 🐈 💧
I set up my bed area cozy.
Great plan!
The shade concept is wonderful, thanks so much for sharing! I'm about to set up a space for myself, this has come at a beautiful time 🌳🌴🌈
Being easily prone to inner-ear infections from as little as a night's worth of ear plug use, or an entire day's worth of circumaural headphone use, is the biggest f. you my body could have devised to keep having me suffer through unwelcome stimuli.
A silent room as a place to retreat to sounds like a very appealing idea, unfortunately the only personal space I have in this tiny house is my 130 sqft bedroom, where I have my computer... and being a total computer nerd, I have a noise floor of 36 dBA with a custom-built computer (needing to be on 24/7 since it's also a multi-purpose server for every other device I own), already utilizing a noise-optimized fan curve I could best describe as "spin silently enough to just barely manage to keep components 10-15 centigrade below overheating".
So unless I ditch the dining table to replace it with a lounger, I don't see myself ever getting silence.
I want an emotional support peacock too! Mike, please include one in your channel give aways 🦚💚💚💚
They’re heavy and would cost a fortune to post. How about a tail feather instead? :)
🌲 Oasis is usually a place, for me ocean:sea, mountains too, but for some of us an oasis can also be a focus on our interest where the rest of the world disappears so we enter in effect our own space, place, in a timeless world. sometimes i can disappear into a book, and the rest of the world is gone: adieu 🦢 ❤
Yes, I agree! An oasis can be a place, that makes the world disappear. I like that. Thanks, Gale. -Mike
@@Autistic_AF 🧡
I think this is mine! Inside books.
Thanks mate.
I'm glad you liked it :D
I found my peas in the freezer... lol oh dear, terrible 😅
Oh no, not frozen peas! (they roll off forks like they don't want to be eaten!)
@@Autistic_AF They'll stay on your fork if you just... give... peas a chance. Yeah I went there, what of it? 🤭
❤
I love peacock-island ("Pfaueninsel"), it is in fact my personal paradise here in Berlin. When I lived in Charlottenburg I went there very often, even using public transport it was not so far.
But peacocks are really strange birds for me. They are so beautiful, but their scream is so loud and fears me somehow. They are very unpredictable in their behaviour, I can't "read" them like other birds.
Once I walked there and recognized a bunch of them were following me. There were no other people. They went on following me a long time and distance, it felt creepy.
I don't know why they scare me🤷🏽♀️
I don't dislike them, just feel unsecure with them.
How did You end up having peacocks? And has he no name like Your other pets?
💙👍👍🙏
Everyone needs an emotional.support peacock ❤❤❤
Yes they do, HB! :)
That crab from that mermaid movie was on to something when he wanted about how badass underwater life is. Apparently it's 'the bubbles'