I just realized that im toxic when i punched my bestfriend to cry. And remember i’ve been gaslighting her and manipulating her this whole time, and I regret it. She trust me so much with my opinions and input, she always ask me about everything cs she thought im always smart and my decisions is always the best. Most of the time i was right, cs she always sad with everything and im trying to make the decision but sometimes I didn’t realize how deep i am into controlling her . I hate myself when i just realize im the toxic friend. Now we have this awkward feeling towards each other from the day we fight and i feel like an asshole cs i remember i yelled at her crying “stop playing victim” , when i realized she’s always the victim to put up with my heartless self. I thought i always do the right thing to keep reminding her stop being too emotional with everything, I didn’t realize that im the one who’s very far into being emotionless. For some reason i always think abt our friendship but i cant cry AT ALL. Wtf is wrong with me 😞
My son who is an adult is autistic, he goes everywhere I go, he and I always talk about how mean people are to both of us, and we agree it is because people know we are just nice, it is very hard to swallow that people think, do and say whatever they need to, to be mean to those of us who are nice.....
@@tauntasmom I can relate. I feel people who take advantage of others kindness are bad people, honestly. People have always taken advantage of my kindness and it's just heartbreaking.
*8 Signs of a Manipulative Personality* 1. they instill self doubt in others 0:45 2. they are experts at guilt tripping 1:16 3. they take advantage of kindness 1:48 4. they spread false information on purpose 2:21 5. they never take the blame 2:47 6. they’re good at hiding their manipulative traits 3:11 7. they feign ignorance 3:45 8. they make their tactics seem normal 4:10 *in progress*
What I have learned so far. I unintentionally manipulate because I am trying to make the situation better but I make it worse without intending it to get worse.
*"Controllers, abusers, and manipulative people don't question themselves. They don't question if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else."* ~Darlene Ouimet
@@kingtaehyun3223 Not the best way to handle a manipulator but what that behavior says about your character depends on WHY you do it and how you feel about yourself after you've done it. The fact that you left this comment already says you've got some self-awareness. True "manipulators", as the quote says, wouldn't question themselves and therefore wouldn't have replied to this quote like you did. Manipulating isn't considered a good habit, but based on what little I know from this interaction, my guess is you would hardly qualify as a "manipulator". 😉
I didn’t notice until recently. Now I’m trying to stop. I’ve always hated manipulative people.. I’ve been manipulated a lot. Now, realizing I have become the very thing I hate, I am trying to stop. I don’t know how. It’s just natural for me. If I notice myself doing it, I try to stop before it gets too far. It’s a process, I just feel bad for the people around me
This is exactly what my abusive ex bestie did.. every one of those things, this channel actually helped me realise that she was abusing me both physically and mentally and emotionally, This channel made me so strong and aware of those trying to break me down. So thank you Psych2Go
I want to ask Is Being a manipulator Bad Cuz According To this video I am fully a manipulator But I use my manipulation power to Take people out Depression and change their perspective . AND I use the evil side during football matches and I completely Crush the Enemy's confidence and as a result they can't play well and On the other hand Increase My teammate's Confidence
Same with my ex toxic abusive friend. But mine also take money from me... Using her kid with disabilities. At the beginning all I wanted was helping her... Take me time and a lot of stress and discomfort realised she was using me for her own gain.
In the past couple of months, I finally realized that I am not being toxic, but there are very extreme narcissists in my group. So I put up my guard and avoided loads of manipulations from them.
I don’t allow narcissists and manipulators in my life. I have neighbors who are narcissists and unfortunately, I have to live in the same apartment complex as they do. I am polite towards them, but I do my best to avoid them like the plague.
Yes my narcissistic ex that I was trauma bonded to tried to convince me I had BPD. Lucky I saw a therapist after reading our exchanged he explained I was in an abusive narcissistic relationship
Same here, I’ve noticed a friend of mine seems to have a controlling personality and even seems to try to word his manipulation so that in his mind it’s acceptable or testing it in some form that tries to make it seem okay. The part that I’m careful of is how to distance myself without triggering their toxic personality traits, I have told them secrets that could have a major negative impact on my life and I don’t want them trying to use that against me. However to me it seems much better to face the consequences than to have a person that drains the positivity out of your personal space.
@@The_huntress111how did it go when you got away from them? I’m aware that they may use a throng they have on me against me so they will continue to fill their ego.
@@hnewman2907 well I never got in first, it took a while for me to believe what my therapist was saying I was a bit shell shocked sat back and watched , realised he was right I was being abused before I got to anything he found a new supply and I was disguarded 9 months ago . At first even though I knew what he was , well I was devestated and missed him tried to get him back . He blocked me on literally everything so lucky it never went through . I started working on my self , it was very up and down I was strong than weak , I was glad I was out but missed him 😂i would get angry at myself for missing him because he was god awful , but things got better. I’m so glad I’m out , sometimes I could just cry with joy , but I had to forgive myself for putting up with it and allowing him to treat me that way , funny enough forgiving myself was harder than forgiving him … i never heard from him again so far , and I thank my lucky stars I got away ❤️
Manipulators hate being found out & talked to in a calm, confident voice like this narrator. It kills them that they're unable to get an emotional response from you & that you're completely fine moving on with your life...
1000% truth. The person in my life is my mother and I'm an only child. I call her out on everything and tell her that crap doesn't fly with me but she does it over and over again. She gets angry and leaves and I'm actually glad to see her go. Then, rinse and repeat... Very toxic and low vibe.
@@traceym1778 I hear ya on that. I have a mom who's occasionally toxic as well. We mostly communicate through text but even then sometimes bad vibes can occur. She never takes responsibility. I'm always put as the one who is in the wrong. She's always been there for me but the toxicity comes with it. I'm also there for her as well. We do have nice visits when we see each other a few times a year. For the ones you don't cut out your life, space & distance is good. Small doses. Also, it's good to remember that we're all imperfect & be apologetic if you're truly at fault for something.
To sum it up: "Manipulative people don't respect your boundaries. They are relentlessly selfish and don't really care who gets hurt as long as they get what they want" Suggestion: "Avoid them!"
Also another tip for everyone! STAY AWAY from people ("friends & "family members") who keep trying to convince you to do something that you don't want to do. That's indicators for a manipulative person as well.
@@Nola50 Um, that’s a tricky situation. I guess I would suggest that you choose when to contact that. Contact them a decent amount, but at the same time don’t go out your way to contact them too much.
@@crazygamer-mr6nr it's just my daughter. My grandchildren know nothing. They love me. To them I just don't come around a lot. But that's not my choice. I've tried so hard but their mom plays games and hurts me too much and uses them against me. If she needs something they can spend time with me. If she's mad bc I stood up for myself or call her out on her unacceptable behavior then she keeps then from me. She never answers the phone and only calls when she needs money
@@Nola50 Dang, she’s really doing that to you? She’s an ungrateful daughter, was she always like this or do you feel something has changed her during adulthood?
I used to work with a colleague who was a professional level manipulator. He was “well liked” by everyone because he was sneaky and no one realized what he was really like. All of these labels in the video fit him perfectly. He honed in on me since I was the newest staff member. I hope when I go back to work, things will be different now that he’s gone but I worry his reputation stands while mine remains tarnished because of him.
Meh some manipulative people arent always just this blood thirsty wolves (BUT they can be good luck pal) , sometimes they are just people who know people . Please dont judge me for my gifts ;-;
You forgot the self depreciating manipulating tactic. It's a strategy they use where they bring themselves down in order to get validation or ego boost from you, or fishing and hooking for compliments. Also includes attention seeking behavior
@@enzoamore8971 exactly meee i find all these to be me somehow and kinda feel yes I am manipulative that must be why I have issues with every single person
did your cat have fleas or did your cat got stuck in mud? is your cat unable to bath itself? no? then just DON'T bath your cat. it is a stupid internet-based habit to bath cats. they are perfectly able to bath themselves. for eons.
People can only treat you the way you allow them to. They mistake your kindness for weakness. Sometimes you need to cut those toxic people out of your life and love yourself 💕
Then leave them, divorce, abundant them. Start working on yourself now ( emotionally, financially, physically, intellectually). Maintain emotional distance as the creature is in home. Once your plan is ready , break all possible contact with the poisonous snake. Good luck. Don't forget write affirmations on self love. Write on paper that u love yourself, and self admiration. It will help you break free
To an extent everyone is manipulative, some more-so than others though. I have yet to meet someone who hasn't manipulated a situation, whether for good or bad. And yes, manipulation can go both ways.
I think the key distinction is intent. A person who unknowingly manipulates will feel regret and will stop when they realise their actions whereas a truly evil person consciously manipulates to their advantage and will refuse to change even when confronted.
Yup, thats why i will always knowingly manipulate people at every chance. Everyone does it even if they aren’t smart enough to realize they’re human too.
Remember that you always have the right to say 'NO'. You deserve to have boundaries. Whoever doesn't respect them, it's something that you don't have to deal with, it's their problem. If you don't feel safe around someone, you have the right stay away from them. Manipulative people often have a toxic *aura which makes you feel sick and unsafe around them. Listen to your gut feeling. Edit: *I'm not a native speaker of English. By aura, I meant vibes, nothing else. I did't want to refer to the word 'aura' used in phsyics or in alternative medicine.
This makes me realize just how manipulative my ex was. They employed almost all of these tactics against me, particularly guilt tripping and shifting blame on to others. Fortunately, I broke out of it and I feel happier than ever. Thanks for posting this. You're a good source of comfort when the times are rough.
@@userm180 I'm fine now because I've come to terms with it and i have a new person to love in my life - and thanks for checking in on me i appreciate it thanks for being a cool person
It’s truly remarkable the work the manipulator will put into having control over a human being. I had a friend who would always vouch that they were “empathetic” kind, and always a morally sound human who cared deeply about people, the planet, animals etc but now in hindsight I can obviously see when I was being manipulated & bullied through the inter workings of the gossiping & the lying, I was convinced that I was the problem, the finger of blame was always directed towards me and I gladly would take the blame or admit to fault even when it was so clearly not, but Strangely enough I never questioned the abuser just myself. I doubted myself in every aspect I truly started to believe the deception and lies and I eventually started to listen to the lies. I felt so bad about myself & who I was I didn’t feel good enough to be around anybody, I stopped caring about any one else’s opinion of me “including my own” and only cared if the manipulator was happy. Manipulation can take form in many ways & shapes but my best advice for handling manipulation is, trust your gut, trust yourself, and get some space/ perspective from this person if at all possible. It took me going to therapy to realize I was even being manipulated at all, and I’m so glad I was able to stop the madness before I myself went insane! Charming, likable, calm, & collected is exactly what came to my mind when I first met this person. DONT ignore the red flags, if something makes you uncomfortable call it out immediately. Also towards the end of the friendship I just went along with whatever she said & acted completely un phased. And again don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself, if they won’t show you remorse for making you feel bad run far far away!!
I am like a magnet 🧲 for people who manipulate to find me. I have some idea but I want to find out what I do or not do to enable it. I know after being in therapy for a long time this incredible a-ha moment in life struck! I was told "people treat us the way we allow them to treat us .". If something is really bothering me I hold it in for a long time so I am afraid of confrontation to a degree. I am like this to people I really care about! If I don't know someone well I think I am more apt to say what is bothering me.
_timestamps :)_ 1) they instil self-doubt in others 0:45 2) they are experts at guilt-trapping 1:14 3) they take advantage of kindness 1:49 4) they spread false information on purpose 2:19 5) they never take the blame 2:48 6) they are good at hiding their manipulative traits 3:11 7) they feign ignorance 3:45 8) they make their tactics seem normal 4:11 There you go ♥️
IF YOU RECOGNISE SOME OF THESE TRAITS IN YOURSELF THEN THERE'S ROOM FOR CHANGE. IT'S WHEN YOU DON'T RECOGNISE THEM OR WORSE, DENY THEM THAT THINGS GET STUCK AND CHANGE IS UNLIKELY.
Wow, I currently live with a family member who posses these traits. Guilt tripping is their #1 tactics. Their famous for saying “ you don’t have to” or “you can say no” but in a way were you still feel like you don’t have an option. I want out but it’s so hard especially when u care too much
Manipulation is way harder than you think. Someone has to think of a plan, then do all these other steps for it to just go wrong. Thank you to the people who make manipulation go wrong .
manipulation doesn’t work if you have no mental or emotional attachment to this person, and when you don’t have those two things attached to them, you have power over them
My manipulative friends gave me mental breakdown, so I decided to stop our friendship and vow myself to never talk to them again, so I did it and now I am healed from the trauma they cause.
Same here. The book "Too Good for Her Own Good" was a godsend and taught me how to protect myself from manipulative people, how to say no and how to set boundaries.
Same honestly. I've gotten a lot better at reading people compared to when I was younger. I just cut off a manipulative "friend" just recently. I know the old me wouldn't have been able to recognize it.
When the person you love is literally all of this and you know it, but you still hang out with them because you love them too much to push them away: *:)*
Signs you are being manipulated include: (1) feeling confused by the behavior of another person, and feeling more confused after trying to get your confusion cleared; (2) when interacting with another person, noticing you often feel fear, obligation, or guilt. Respect your gut instinct. And read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.
I had a ex friend who acted like this and had a huge ego. He always tried to portray himself as this “kindhearted” person but he truly was just some manipulative creep. Also he refused to let me move on from the friendship and acted as if I was a horrible person not wanting to deal with that. It didn’t help that he had a creepy obsession over me and couldn’t accept I didn’t feel the same way.
Same exact situation as you. Was friends with them since HS for over 16 years but they really just couldn’t accept responsibility for anything, tried to act open-minded but really just kind of intolerant and rude, justified their laziness/bad work ethic by deflecting responsibility to anyone or anything else. Took me a while to mourn the loss of someone who barely treated me like a friend at all, but each day without them is better now. It sucks but I hope things get better for you soon.
I have ex boyfriend who same and he try get revenge on me for leave him and made me look like monster til now my family and his friends still believe things he told about me til this day
People who get what they want by lies, manipulation, deceit and temper tantrums are never happy until they totally destroy all that is good. They have no regards for who gets hurt. Run away quickly if you meet one 🖖
You are mistaken, I can assure you that obtaining anything with lies, manipulation or temper tantrums brings us happiness without destroying everything good around us... And, we have regards for who gets hurt as they can be more useful in the future ... And you'll try to run away but you didn't see us ... These videos are really manichean and simplistic, don't think you can see these traits distinctly around you and don't think that manipulative people are that dumb. But you can reassure you about the fact that we are unhappy if you want.
I dont know we all lie , and we are all happy when some jerk gets what they deserve . And when we are hurt we dont really see other people the way whe should . But yeah when we see some manipulative duckling we can run or we can become a big chungus towads those ducklings , ah *So Poetic* xD
STORYTIME: I met a girl named Hanna a few months back who acted very sweet around me and my existing friends. She was quite a bit older than any of us (I'm 23, most of my friends are 19, and she's 32) but we're all pretty nice and so accepted her into the friend group despite the age gap. Hanna said she was naturally pretty touchy-feely so it was normal if she stroked your arm or gave extra long hugs or whatever. I was a little uncomfortable with it, but she said she did it to everyone so whatever. Pretty soon, though, I noticed she was only really doing it to me and my other guy friend Ethan (we're both relatively good-looking). Additionally, no matter what activity we planned, even if it was only a small subsection of our friend group, Hanna ALWAYS found a way of being there. Even when she wasn't invited. Meanwhile her physical affection towards me increased, and my nice butt, rather than confronting her directly, tried to give physical signs that I was uncomfortable such as not making eye contact with her and shifting around a lot. About a week ago, we had a movie night at my house, and during the movie she literally moved my arm around her and then snuggled in close. The only reason I didn't slap her away was I didn't want to embarrass her in front of my friends and make a scene. I was super uncomfortable but let her get away with it. At some of my friends' request, I sent her a lengthy text explaining how I was uncomfortable with her behavior towards me, I only liked her as a friend, and I politely requested she only give hello or goodbye hugs like most of my friends do. She seemed to take it alright, admitted to having had a crush on me, and promised to give me more space going forward. Little did I know what had been going on behind the scenes. It turns out Hanna is selfish, dramatic, and manipulative. She had been CONSTANTLY texting and calling Ethan and guilt-tripping him whenever he didn't respond in a timely fashion. She would complain to him about the adult drama in her life (the kid's only 19) and use him as a way to find out about all our activities. She also told him about her crush on me, and no joke, told him in excessive detail how she was going to fly out and visit me at college when I go back in a couple months and "make a long-distance relationship work" (not once considering if I actually liked her back). Not only that, but Ethan once confronted her about how her touchy-feelyness was making me uncomfortable and she blew up at him, saying he didn't know anything about our "relationship". So she had known all along how I felt about her physical advances but chose to intensify her attacks instead. She had also been manipulating my other friends into hanging out with her so she could complain about her life to them too, with varying degrees of success. Now all my friends agree she's not only a drama queen, but a high-key predator preying on the kindness of dudes much younger than her. We're all fed up with her manipulative behavior and have refused to play her games anymore. She seemed to take the hint and stopped coming to our hangouts. We still see her at church sometimes (that's how we all met) but avoid her like the plague, and it seems she's already moved on to preying on other young dudes for attention and favors. Whenever I get a chance I warn those guys to steer clear. This was my first encounter with someone truly manipulative, and dang is she good at hiding it under a sweet facade.
Bro damn but why yall hanging w a girl a decade older? The only reason a dude's friend group invites a woman is for sexual reasons bro, there is no "friend" here, at least in my opinion. But i mean, i cant recall a time i was manipulated like that, but ive been emotionally used for attention, validation, and received nothing back
keep an eye out for these signs that someone is manipulative. They Will Guilt Trip You. They Ignore Your Input. They Don't Give You Much Time To Decide. They Don't Help Resolve Problems. They Undermine Your Self-Confidence. They Force You Out Of You Comfort Zone. They Butter You Up With Small Requests.
You know what's worse then a manipulator? Staying by their side for years even though you know they're wrong. Don't give them all you have of yourself because you'll be left feeling like nothing as I do. Best wishes and hugs to you all❤
Exactly how I'm feeling like now.. I'm so pissed at myself for allowing this Particular lady guilt trip me and always having her way into making me hate people. I have always loved peace but she made people even the ones that didn't hurt me and the worse is how she successfully made me doubt myself and hated myself for doing what I love most
I have been through it for 2 years and finally broke out of it for 3 years ago now I have trauma from it as well as sever anxiety and truss issues anyone who acts like that person triggers my fight or flight mode
@@nacolemini6038 So True Sis! You have every right to protect your energy. I just did a video on my youtube channel if you have time check it outruclips.net/video/WRgsneI-dAE/видео.html
I’ve been manipulated by a family member for years. They accused me of being manipulative until I felt like I couldn’t know who I was. I started doubting my own sanity. Whenever I reacted to their behaviour they played the victim in front of everyone so I was always seen as the crazy one or the one who’s starting arguments. They took advantage of the fact that I was depressed to prove that they’re the kind hearted. I used to feel like my head was foggy, I couldn’t differentiate between truth and lies. Luckily some people had my side and helped me open my eyes to see their hypocrisy. Until now They still believe they’re the victim but I laugh at them how they need help. People really be lying and believing their own lies.
Same.Guess we're def not alone.But my fam has been like that and I too became manipulative to them.I met so many 'friends' and teachers who were manipulative as well.no wonder why i hate ppl a lot
I can relate! I have been through the exact same experience. Such people instigate an identity crisis in you. I pray to God that no one has to go through this kind of hell.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I have multiple family members who have done this shit to me! And I'm going through it now bigtime: ( ....They'll be super manipulative. Do their best to make me feel like it's me, and I'm the one at fault. Making me doubt who I am even, and how I perceive the world....I'm really suffering right now. Sometimes I try to pull away but then I feel bad. It's been really hard the last few months. The holidays were devastating for me....I'm just trying to hang on
@@thirdrev4334 Hey. You are a champ. The reason they do that to you is because deep down, or even shallow down, either way, they HATE who you are. When you walk in, when you are secure, when you have peace, when they are miserable and need a 'ragegoat' to pawn off their evil, very insecure conscience onto, they spew their vitriol onto you. You are NOT what your brain, or what your thoughts are telling you right now Rev. Maybe they are trying to get you to look in the mirror. Do it. Do it and smile. They're betting hell on you seeing shame and turning away for good. The sorry thing for them is, evil has NOT overcome good, and without hell, there would be no need for warriors, for taking the high road, for believing, for ultimate, satisfying victory. You're on the bloddy beach head right now, taking more enemy fire than you even knew existed, you haven't conquered the city yet, but the city is already conquered. The conqueror is waiting for you on victory road, where He'll calmly display all your haters and enemies before you, to see that you prevailed, that you haven't lashed out, they haven't moved you off course, and THEN you're going to see venom, but they'll be defeated and pathetic, awash in their own rage as you stride on, still up, still breathing, still treating people right. Don't go down, don't entertain their pathetic evil. Hang tight with that conquueror, He is in the city in glory but His spirit is with you where you are right now in the hellfire on the beach head. If you need to call out for help, do so constantly, if you don't know His name, that's ONE thing i can help you with in this pressing hour. It is Messiah, Jesus Christ, your Creator, the Creator of your bullies, the Lover of Justice and the HATER of evil. Stick with him, get your sleep, and i will bet the house and the farm that you will prevail and conquer. God is for you if you'll seek His help. God Bless You tonight Rev. Please post any updates to let us know you're alright as weeks pass. -Joseph
I am so sorry you had to go through this.... my father was the exact same way.... I like to think I grew stronger after all of that and I hope you can break out of your shell and realize that this is something you have overcome that many other couldn't even imagine! Power to you!
If you're reading this... It's too late. I already sent good vibes your way. They are coming. And there's no way to stop them! May all your worries wash away and your pipedreams come true! 💗 Dr. Liz
Sometimes they take the blame: When they think you'll end the relationship When they want something and taking the blame is necessary to get what they want When they have plans to shift the blame to someone else later The key is they don't mean it. They're only accepting responsibility because it's a means to some end.
Mine never would. When it's my fault, it's my fault. When it's theirs, I'm "lambasting" them, even though I didn't even say a word - it's enough when it's just obvious and/or I'm not defending them against their own feeling of guilt.
my father passed awhile back and i’m watching this because ive finally got the courage to cut off my mom. i’m terrified at the idea of having no parents but at this point i’m the parent to her. she has bullied me and smacked me around so much… she is using me. Dont let anyone make you feel that way. Relationships of any kind shouldn’t be 50/50 it’s 100/100. Don’t try harder for someone else that wouldn’t go out of their way to make you feel as loved and secure.
I pray to have your courage and let him go one day😢😢😢😢. He's my world but I'm nothing much to him plus he doesn't care whether I feel bad, cried or not. I'm actually fed up but I'm terrified to let go because of criticism.
Took a life time to see that my father who is physically/ mentally emotionally abusive. I grew up with this type behavior all my life. My father is really subtle with his tactics. As I started to get healthier thinking through hard emotional work in therapy I started to be able to see the truth about him able to spot the lies he told, inconsistencies in his speech & actions. He does alot of gas lighting divide & conquer
@@nugget_illustrates3744 thanks... Now that I know I see through his tactics a bit easier. I don't have clear thinking. He's been abusing my mom since she was 15 they been together over 60 years. He does things that I don't readily catch but my sister be schooling me. Example all if a sudden house running on empty he controls ALL the RESOURCES. I wasn't putting together why all of a sudden no dish liquid or garbage bags. Thought he was slipping but he was doing it DELIBERATELY AGAINST my mom. My sister explained it & it made a whole lot of sense. My father has alot of hostility & hatred towards my mom. Now she can't take care of herself he really running over her. So he won't keep house stocked so we her girls who take care of her can't use it in & for her. Just very sad but KARMA coming for him
@@laradhoore8268 same.. idk what to do. I know I don’t need him but I feel hopeless and guilty. I know I am being manipulated and want to put an end to it. I’m so happy when I’m at my moms house (away from him) and I never find any reason to reach out to him myself but I’m too scared to make the changes for my own good .. 😓 he doesn’t provoke any positive emotions for me, always constant stress but what can I do.. he’s my father and I’m 14 😕
i just realized how manipulative my family actually is and it's so shocking that they've used their tactics throughout my childhood without me realizing. they do it so naturally it's lowkey scary lmaoooo
Just like those that molest and physically abuse close family is always at the top of the list.......do what you need to do to ensure you are not your families victim.
I hate it when people say “I’m sorry, *but cut me some slack.”* or something like that. Why can’t they just take the blame and apologize like a normal person 🤚
sometimes they also dont take the blame in a more subtle way like "i dont know, but it's proven to etc etc". they add in convincing facts to the conversation to make it seem like they weren't wrong and you should rethink what you just said because you're most likely the wrong one here. for example: context= someone got late because of the manipulator * manipulator does something else to cause their prey to be late, thus making a mistake. prey finished up on time and manipulator was causing the delay * 3rd person: look at the time! prey is late because of you (manipulator)! manipulator: oh, sorry. I was only doing something else because I was waiting for prey to finish up. Prey: * gets guilty because they think they're the ones who caused them to be late * sorry about that. i'm gonna hurry up next time. * manipulator gets their way and ends up making someone else apologize for their sake *
Thank you, I have a friend who is doing almost EVERYTHING you explained! Now I’ll break him and finally stop this person from slowly making me depressed
This is exactly why manipulative sociopathic personalities are always at odds with intuitive empathic personalities, one tends to manipulate in a way that only benefits them for power, and the other tends to manipulate in a way that helps and strengthens those around them… I definitely am a intuitive empathic personality, and I can say first hand, manipulative sociopaths really do make me angry
How do I stand up for myself when someone’s being manipulative without villainizing the person because they are traumatized by manipulation? It’s my younger sibling and I was standing up for myself but I feel like I’m making them feel awful about themselves. I don’t know how to do this without coming off as a villain.
I've been dealing with a manipulative roommate/"best friend" for a couple of years and I gotta say, most, if not all the boxes have been checked for manipulation. I've really been unwise, but I'm not allowing them to trespass any further into my life. This friendship has cost me all other friendships, which indicates that this person is no friend at all. Detaching has been challenging, I try so hard to be there and be someone others can rely on, but it has taken so much out of me. I'm so tired of always rushing to undo the daily crises and picking up all the slack. It took me way too long to see it for what it was, and the hooks were in very deep. I have been detaching for a few months and I'm walking away from it to get my peace of mind back, and to move forward in my own life. Do not overextend yourselves, friends. It's good to be kind, but it does make you a target, so be firm, too.
Wow thank you!!! I just got into a roomie situation and its not even been a week and am already spotting so many red flags.... will leave before i begin a new month thank you !!!
The art style is just so perfect, for the visually impaired the subtitles and the expressions as well as actions of the characters are so easy to decipher. A big thank you for rising to the plate of making these videos for others. I hope that your kindness is returned by the world and those you have helped.
I've been friends with her for two years but decided to cut her off. I ignored my gut feeling, decided to see good in her because I thought we all have toxic traits (which is true) but manipulation is when she brings up my insecurities around my friends, using destructive criticism, gaslighting (tried to blame me for confronting her with "lol you're too sensitive, my male friends don't do this they are smooth"), most days she's very mean and passive-aggressive, other days she's nice to me. About 2 weeks ago, I dedicated an entire day just to help her with something, skipping a party I was invited to, to support her all day. I got sick, depressed, and anxious the next day from all her negativity and gossip but it was until I told her "no today I can't help u" that she turned into this cold-hearted mean person again. I had an anxiety attack and decided enough is enough! Although I feel guilty about it, deep inside I know I didn't lose a real friend.
Great simple way to describe this! As someone who has a parent that uses every opportunity and interaction to "win" for validation and temporary ego hits. It is really sad and draining enduring someone who is a hollow shell!
All of them!! Bang on. 100% relatable. I can’t thank you enough for introducing me to this concept. I had been a victim and was living a life filled with regrets, guilt, grief, loss, shame and lowered self esteem and a broken heart and confidence and to add to it community disrespect and disgust. I had been made such a prey to manipulation by a narcissist ex-fiancé. My life was turned into nothing but remorse and guilt. Not a single second of the day since last 5 months had passed when I didn’t blame myself for her faults and disloyalty and a crazy, shaky life filled with doubts, insecurities. I was so desperately looking for answers and reasons of such behaviour and giving up on me on such trivial issue, even after pretending to be in love and bullshit, nothing but fake lies. Today after watching the video I could so much connect all the signs to myself in all its entirety. Like every single sign. I was amazed at the extent of dark and ruthless manipulation I was put through. I was so much deep into those endless guilt trips, for the victim card being played so brilliantly. Having been acquainted with the knowledge I feel so much liberated, light and elated. I feel enlightened. Back to living life again. Thank you so much for making such wonderful and insightful videos. Making available the rare yet very essential knowledge.
Ain’t it something? So happy to see u can live life normal again … at some point (after this type of destruction) . I’m going through the same feelings of regret guilt grief loss shame and definitely lower self-esteem. Reading this comment made me realize that I’m being made to feel this way… I wouldn’t feel like this on my own. I was asked the other day why I am feeling insecure or have a low self esteem and I couldn’t figure it out when my bf compliments me all the time and I feel loved. I mean I am told nice things a lot, but then being guilt tripped on the day to day & constantly questioning what I’m doing doesn’t help.
Well for me i am popular in school from 1to 7 std but when a gal named akshara came to my all my friends and teachers went to her and forgot about me she does have everything purrrfect in her life
It takes a lifetime but if you stand firm and lead your life with morals and values. Even their staunchest enablers will be shamed into silence and YOU will be seen to have been the righteous one all along. And any who were deceived will long for the opportunity to apologize to you. The narc who dies before they are found out is the lucky one
Glad to see content like this cause they're way to many manipulators out there. Wish I had this earlier in life. It's hard when you want to believe people can be better
Yeah, I've been excusing it for so long but I do see some change from the past which is the only reason I reconnected w a schoolmate, and I still believe they can become better... But I shouldn't put my hopes up over the cost of my health being affected :( I don't want to completely let go of attachment tho, but I'm not a strong, self identified person to combat this toxicity, the only best solution is to end it, I keep thinking it's possible to hang out w em for fun sometimes as long as I maintain distance in relationship... But guilttripping will happen regardless n I don't trust myself to stick my ground :(
Something worthy of note here… I believe the majority of folks who watch this well done video, are trying to label somebody in your life, a potential manipulator., So this is where the focus goes. I would probably start with yourself, put the focus on you. Are you the manipulator.? As I think, knowing you’re a manipulator is better than knowing somebody else is a manipulator. So you can begin to learn how to cut that shit out! 😊
I'm scared of being "stupid" because of my mom. She always called me one since I was like...three for the littlest mistakes I do as a kid. She always compared me to other kids who are smart enough in school, but I was not because I was a shy kid. When I grew older and we transferred to a different place, I changed a bit and grew competitive..like badly competitive. When I get satisfied with my grades, she always say that it's not enough. So I got worse until I even throw hate on other students that I get threatened to. Until now, i'm still scared of that word. That word scarred me. I feel like i'm stupid when I do the littlest mistakes, I panic and try to conceal it as much as I can. I grew more distant to her..I mean, other than that we're pretty cool u know? But I didn't have the same intimate relationship with her like other daughters have with their moms. Like, telling your little secrets, insecurities....well, my IQ and my EQ is my biggest insecurity- which she inflicted to me. I felt lonelier as an only child then. and..until now...I still feel like I can't be good at anything else than academics so I still get competitive- but it's not as bad as before because i've quite matured. People gotta say i'm smart but little did they know that's mybiggest insecurity.
its called mistake for a reason, don't take the blame, just take those words as a mere oppinion,oppinions are not always true,especialy from bad peopple,any way, S-thai- safe
My mother was the exact way. I grew up with her constantly telling me how she tried aborting me. She didn’t want a 4th child. She wanted another boy. She only had boy names picked out. She always hated me. My siblings and parents abused me in every way. My parents are dead. I no longer speak to my toxic siblings. My husband and I moved away and it was for the best. She never cared about our kids. She’d slip money to her other grandchildren right in front of us. She was a true narcissist. My dad once apologized for the way I was treated. He wasn’t much better. Dangling me by my hair and shaking me. I’ll never understand how you could you treat a child so horribly. I raised our kids with so much love.
Well you sure know a lot of radioactive places . By game logic you should be immune to radiation and I hope you will be soon ! :) I can kinda relate but not very much , Im drawing and one day I want it to be my job . But the problem is that there will be always someone who is better than you and makes your years of developing your anatomy , shading,... like nothing . Its even worse for insicure or competetive person , wich I am . Because drawing is so , so personal . But the secret to be at least happier when drawing is to apriciate every piece of progress that YOU made and then about other people progress . (Sorry form grammar mistakes , im from Slovakia and English launguage is very , very diffrent so Its kinda hard for me to write properly) Also I never thought I would made drawing sound like epic development wich it kinda is , well at least for me :)
@@justpersonwhosaidalotofstu6163 As a visual artist, myself, I can promise you it's possible to "Go full time". It's about more than skill. Don't get me wrong, but plain raw skill only works for so far. You'll also need your own style, and then it's about what you can do with it. The more different ways you can APPLY your skill(s), the more "income streams" you can develop. I used to worry that I wouldn't be good enough to get anywhere in the market. Then I looked around seriously and noticed some of the art that gets sold every day. You don't need the skills to compete with Da Vinci or Rembrandt. Look up the likes of "Happy Bunny" and understand that somebody out there is making a FORTUNE on it!!! For some of us, it's not even a matter of who's the "Best". It's whether it's really worth my time to do it, or more worth the money for someone else to do it, so I can do whatever else I'd rather be doing at the time. In visual arts, you just find your niche and fill it... fill it like a BOSS. ;o)
Being a recovering addict(2 years sober), I used the majority of these signs and I realize this. I’m thankfully that I’m not this bad anymore, but I do catch myself using manipulation to this day, and I hate that I’m like this. Hopefully it gets better in time
Someone who I thought was my friend showed their true colors and tried to get me back under their control. Luckily I was catching up with an old friend from middle school and they helped me open up my eyes and I dropped the toxic person like a bag of sand. I'm still friends with the person who helped me, and we actually have civil conversations about serious topics. And neither of us is afraid to speak our minds about something.
its so hard.. and tough bc on one hand you know you should be aware and acknowledge signs like this, but it also makes you feel guilty for doubting them
Doubting is not something that should be taken as negative. Always doubt everyting but not to a point of crippling you. It makes you stand on your guard. If someone is guilting you because you doubt, this is a big red flag that you should stay away from them. Always stay away from those that want you to believe them without hesitation.
I find it helpful to interact with the small animals to understand the different between human and animal, try to understand the kindness and the difference between true feeling or not.😊
Every single trait in this video reminds me about the person who used to be my best friend. She had been using gaslight and manipulating me to the point where i lost all my friends and my self-confidence. I used to doubt myself, lost sleep at night and even had to take medication.
Yes, I'd like a part 2. I know my sister has all of these & I feel the whole family has fallen prey to her deceptions, lies, half- truths and manipulating. Beware of their charm & gossip & don't trust one, for they will betray a confidence & then deny it, or even blame the person they told the secret to. I know it sounds trite but remember, the time only secret you keep is one you don't tell ( anyone). . Ie keep it to yourself cc, unless you don't mind anyone else Knowing
My cousin sister is the same. A lot of times I blame myself for being particularly ignorant of her. But I guess it's my defence mechanism to protect myself from guilty tripping. I have trust issues just because of her. She always seems like a victim and I the oppressor. Such people are evilish in nature so they repeat what hurts others to keep the wagon going.
I’ve found that a lot of manipulators don’t even realise they are being manipulative, I think it’s just sad.. they hurt so many people, but just can’t see it..... maybe I just think this because of how heavily manipulated I have been, maybe I see myself as manipulative- I don’t want to hurt anyone
Ok you guys listen. Listen. Youre both great. Not all manipulators are monsters. Its only a trait thats mostly used for evil. Thus has a bad reputation. Both of you are great ok? Yall great.
@@grimmcorvid5713 I think the difference between us and the monsters is that we feel guilty for it, it was not our intention yet we still didn’t want to hurt anyone and want to make it right, whereas for a lot of others they simply don’t care weather or not they hurt others, as long as they got what they wanted
Don't worry, it's normal to be manipulative without knowing it. Sometimes we're just being manipulative without realizing that we are manipulative. The important is you know now how to be not a manipulative. Remember, no matter what, you're still young you make mistakes and that's okay and normal. There's nothing wrong unlike with other elders who grew up without realizing those...
It all started when I found out that my friend had an abusive friendship group, one of them in particular would punch her a lot and degrade her. We had been friend for nearly seven years at that point and I was in the middle of a depressive time in my life. They started playing mind games with her, some of them stuck around even after the one who would punch her left. It angered me so much, I had a crush on my friend. I had to save her. And she was so kind and caring that she would never tell anyone, even telling me was hard. I had always panicked and told white lies to keep my friends from trouble, so I think I became a bit manipulative. I have always been good at arguing points calmly, and getting my way a bit. I thought I was just really persuasive and good at talking and stuff, now I think I might have accidentally manipulated a few people.. I mean, I don’t think I really hurt them, it was just gradually showing my friend the nasty side of that friendship group. She was blind to it before, the dirty looks towards her other friends. The rude comments snd constant eye rolls from the friendship group, the small lies and manipulation that I could easily pick apart. I had to do something. I showed her more of their personality’s and she finally saw what I had been seeing for years, their manipulative side. I was away from school a lot a few years prior to this and they had wormed their way in. I had watched my friend change from sweet and kind to moody and snarky. Now she’s back as she was before, with more confidence and swagger. She’s perfect, and I am so lucky to have her in my life. I apologised to the friendship group on the last day of school, then left. Yeh so that’s it lmao
My old best friend fits all of these. My therapist helped me realize how manipulative she was, especially after an incident that I wasn't in the wrong for, but I apologized and my ex-friend said, "I'm sorry YOU felt that way." My therapist was pissed, and told me that I needed to get away. A few straws later, and we were no longer friends, and now she still tries to spread rumors about me and my partner. A mutual friend of ours told us last week that she was trying to get info on us and told him that she had heard that my partner and I broke up. lol. She's a scumbag.
If this individual is still stalking and harassing you. Then I would collect all the evidence and make a report to your local law offices. I'd like to add that yes it's illegal for people to do this and your therapist should have told you that. I wouldn't allow criminal activity to go on for to long because then that individual thinks that they can just get away with it.
Yes! I had exes and ex besties who were manipulative af. Glad that I left them for good! 😆😆 SO LONG I'M MOVING ON!!! THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS THAT MADE ME WISER, STRONGER AND SO MUCH HAPPIER!!!
Sadly I’ve experienced several of these. And of course once you put up boundaries to protect yourself, they go on the attack.😒 A part 2 would be great.
A thing that i noticed - not mentioned in the video - is that at some point they become messy. They have such a huge web of lies that they dont really remember all the grifts they did. And this makes it sometimes difficult for them to gauge limits with you - so at one point it becomes obvious something is wrong because they just seem to attack you every other day - sometimes they use 2 of the same tactic in a row. A example would be, and this happened to me - they fell asleep on a project we were working together and I wake them up and say - listen, if you are tired lets just go home and continue tomorrow. But this "friend" then immediately becomes hyper defensive and then starts projecting hard on me by saying - Are you insane ? What, just because you don't want to work anymore because you are tired, that does not give us the right to turn our backs on all these people !! Needles to say - it was the first time he did this with me, and it was really a poor performance and it looked so obviously like projecting - because he was the one that sneaked away to a secluded room to sleep, and not even fully awake he lashed out immediately on me and then started projecting - many red flags. And another thing is - if you just met and they perceive you as a similar individual, they might perform a grift in front of you - but on someone else. And if they have success, they might boast to you about it - "Did you see what i did, I can't believe that worked" or something like that. A personal example - that same person above, sometimes used a sound of heavy traffic every time he had to bail out on someone. He calls you, you hear him shout and pretend theres a bad connection - and a very distinct traffic sound in the background really create a good trick. But He did this on a client in front of me, and then tried that on me a couple of years later - i recognized the sound of the traffic, because it was a american sound fx... There are horns and sirens in the sound FX that you wont hear in my country. These people seem to have a easy time getting addicted to multiple stuff, and when they start doing heavy drugs, they become super messy and also super passive-aggressive. A tactic i tried and then i knew for sure that its over for our friendship - i just started calmly pointing out their behaviour - and i would do that in moments when the person is under the influence - but in a good way and of a good mood. If they are not a malignant narcissist or even a sociopath - they might still try to evade the conversation or disagree, but if you press them they wont lash out and become red with anger. They make a scene and really become pissed off if you press them. They are masters of derailing the convo and avoiding these hard questions, but when high with any kind of addictive substance, they will just find it much more harder to do their usual song and dance - and they give up on the act and run away. And just a note on the mentioned - misinformation. This same person - once they realized I was fully aware and that I was actually toying with them - started to just tell everyone lies about me - but not any random lies, no - they would say everything wrong they do usually is something i am secretly doing. They do this to shift the spotlight on me - its a small chance that if i start telling others about him - people already think that im the manipulative one, so they might dismiss my truth and then just avoid me. And my final advice is - if you have doubts about someone, then try and act a perfect target. Record with your phone without this person knowing. Write down everything they do. Wait to gather enough evidence to confront them with. You dont even need to confront them - you can just go away from them slowly (if you just dissapear and ignore them, well thats suspicious) - because the more vulnerable and ignorant you seem to appear, the bigger the chance you will catch them in this trap. Think of a matador thats fighting a bull - but you are not provoking him with a red mantle and hiding a sword behind it to stab him - you are taking off all your clothes and turning your back to the bull while placing your hands on your head while whistling. Become the perfect target - and you will be surprised if you decide to see how far will this person go. As i found out a couple of times - there is no end to the manipulation - and it will only get worse from there. Just make sure to be prepared for their revenge if you decide they deserve to be exposed.
I am happy that you are trying to change! You can obviously still party and stuff, but try not to test your limits. Instead, go a little less than you can go without getting drunk as hell. Don't try to drink tons, try about 4 times a year or less.
Story time : My ex was really manipulative. I never realized it for a very long time, but if I’m being exact it was 5 years of friendship and 1 year 2 months of being in a relationship. I also grew up in a toxic family, and she took advantage of that by taking away my voice, which was my “norm”. Everything was her choice, and she would non stop tell me how broken she would be if we broke up. My greatest weakness is making others feel horrible emotions, and she took advantage of it all. Thanks for reading.
I pride myself on being stubborn. It protects my peace and has never left the door open for a manipulator. Once your mind is made up not even the best manipulator can get through. Which is why a lot of people here in the comments have freed themselves of such people. When it's time to leave them that's it. And they won't change your mind.
This was very interesting! Now I'd like to see a video about how not getting manipulated and how to deal with this kind of behaviour. Thank you so much!
@@oblivious37 Its easier said than done. I am so bad at setting boundaries especially when it comes to people i love. I know i am getting used but i can't bring myself to say no. I honestly wish i could unlearn all the toxic traits that has stayed with me since childhood.
@@oblivious37 no that doesnt work. the only way to not get manipulated is literally cutting ties off with them. don't talk to them, dont go near them, and just literally stay away from them. that way they dont have a chance of manipulating you into a situation. they manipulate you with every chance they get with you. even just a small interaction can be an opening for them. think of them as a virus. the reason why you wash your hands, wear a facemask, and stay away from people is because you don't want the virus to have the slightest chance of getting into your body. that's what you have to do. i say this from experience. i have tried to manipulate people before and i really want to change. i only got to manipulate people every time i got the chance to interact with them. even if there's no exchange of words i was still able to manipulate a situation by influecning the events around the said person. that way they come back to me and interact with me again. it's sick i know. that's why what i could tell you is to never ever get the chance to stay in their proximity and NEVER talk to them. you have to really stand your ground.
@@yukihoon994 @Yuki Hoon same here, I wasn't brought up with setting boundaries, but also infantilized all the time, so it sucks I've internalized a lot of negative things n view myself that way, it's made me more vulnerable to toxic situations/manipulation. Im trying to relearn n I've made a google doc to form boundaries like what I will and will not tolerate, there's worksheets online that help out too.
This was so helpful. I recently broke up eith my boyfriend because I started noticing manipulative behavior and the moment we talked about it I felt so bad, like it was my fault I was unhappy in the relationship. Thid video really just helped put that into perspective! Thank you
My ex closest friend had been manipulating me for years without me realizing. The toughest one looking back is how she tried to isolate me from all my friends. She warped the truth or straight up lied about situations between her and my friends. I would take her side and cut contact with these people. I should have realized what she was doing when I ended up completely alone accept for her. I gained a new friend who's family member has NPD and I connected the dots through hearing her stories. Fortunately, I've been able to make amends and gain back all the friends I abandoned because of her and have formed my own opinions as to who my friends are as people and not the opinions of someone else
As i was watching this, i was horrified to find that i do some of these things. I do them out of fear, hurt others before they hurt you, but i also had to come to terms with the fact that I learned it all from my family. Heck, i once got 3 different guilt trips hours before my birthday party when i was younger. If you do some of the stuff in this video, ask yourself why. Self awareness is the first step on the road to change.
These kinds of people don’t like it when you Ghost them. Just say “hold that thought I’ll be right back” then don’t come back lol drives them nuts! Repeat until they get the hint 😂
@@FH-er7us It’s a mindset you got to figure that these people have no respect for you as a human being therefore do not care about you whatsoever only about their personal image. If you continue to do the opposite of what they tell you eventually they’ll figure out you’re smarter than they are and they cannot control you and will not waste their time with you and will go to great links to avoid you. I’ve experienced this myself personally. These kinds of people do not like being contradicted or expose who they really are this is one of their biggest fears. They like to use the 48 Rules of power and the art of seduction.
You know, i try not to be someone who yells about my problems on the internet, but gods did this hit home. I watched this as sort of confirmation of something i try to be confident in. I lived with two very manipulative people for about a year, and by the end of what turned out to be one of the worst years of my life (and that is saying a LOT) they had themselves convinced that it was in fact me that was the abusive manipulator. After a lot of talks with my therapist and friends i can at least see that it doesn't matter that they sprinkled in truths, that I wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, that they were the ones on the wrong. I can almost convince myself that i was the kind person. But it is so frustrating and hurtful knowing that both of them could watch this video and be thinking exactly what I'm thinking--only they have decided to believe their own lies about me, in order to convince themselves that they're the kind victims, because they're always the kind victims in their heads. I'm so glad to be away from them, though it pains me to know i can't currently cut them out of my life completely. I really appreciate this video for being clear and certain and reminding me that, even if i messed up, i can say with certainty that i tried to be kind, that i listened and tried to change myself for them, that i apologized for even reflexive actions (like shouting when something scared me, because my reflex sound startled them). I never sat around with my fellow manipulator telling lies about someone (the infamous confrontation/ completely fucked up "intervention"was a fun experience where the people i loved who i thought loved me, sat in a circle and let a woman lie to my own face about things i never did, things i know i didn't do because they go fundamentally against my own morals, things i have strong feelings about, which in a way I'm glad for because it was the only way i could let myself believe what my friends and therapist said). I lived for ten years with a much more subtle manipulator, someone who was a family friend and pseudo uncle, and then he stole all my mother and i's life savings and literally ran off to do drugs with a sex worker. Before that most of my childhood was spent with my verbally abusive father, and then with a verbally abusive mother. And then the uncle and then immediately after that i wound up living with those two. I hope i can finally be better at recognizing gaslighting, but for the time being i'll be living with my mother (who's actively improved herself as person) and no one else, and hopefully we can make it work. May anyone who so much as skimmed this have a wonderful night and day. May your tomorrow be full of laughter and kindness, may you escape your fears, refute your abusers, and recognize the flaws in yourself. May you become better and more whole every day. May your hands always touch in gently, your smile come easy, and your heart never hurt too much for too long. May you have the strength to carry on, and may someone, many someones notice, and tell you how strong you are, and help however they can to lighten your burden. May you always have time to stop and pet a cat, to wave at a child, to press your face into a bouquet and breathe in. I wish you sweet dreams, and warm mornings, and as much happiness as you can stand.
Now i know why many people says i'm too 'giving' and 'kind' yes, i will always help someone no matter what the situation is. And people mostly take advantage of it :')
I've always gone by the phrase, there's two types of coercion, manipulation and persuasion with the difference being, one is about what I want from vs what I want for you.
Try and make it very clear with them that this will happen, and they shouldn't expect the plans to be followed through. Make sure they are ok with plans being made and then cancelled. If they are not ok with it, don't make plans with them.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Happy Sunday! Name your enemy and we shall slay them for you!
:)
💞
Aryn but it's okay already took care of him myself
Really? Can you slain Ender Dragon for my Minecraft please?
Daniel!
One of my greatest fears is that I’m actually toxic and I won’t realize it until I hurt everyone I care about
Omg same that's why im watching this cause im new to having friends :'((
Same that why iam here!
this is me right now
I just realized that im toxic when i punched my bestfriend to cry. And remember i’ve been gaslighting her and manipulating her this whole time, and I regret it. She trust me so much with my opinions and input, she always ask me about everything cs she thought im always smart and my decisions is always the best. Most of the time i was right, cs she always sad with everything and im trying to make the decision but sometimes I didn’t realize how deep i am into controlling her . I hate myself when i just realize im the toxic friend. Now we have this awkward feeling towards each other from the day we fight and i feel like an asshole cs i remember i yelled at her crying “stop playing victim” , when i realized she’s always the victim to put up with my heartless self. I thought i always do the right thing to keep reminding her stop being too emotional with everything, I didn’t realize that im the one who’s very far into being emotionless. For some reason i always think abt our friendship but i cant cry AT ALL. Wtf is wrong with me 😞
omg yeah thats one of my biggest fears
The one thing you should never do is take advantage of someone's kindness. That's just such a cruel thing to do
My son who is an adult is autistic, he goes everywhere I go, he and I always talk about how mean people are to both of us, and we agree it is because people know we are just nice, it is very hard to swallow that people think, do and say whatever they need to, to be mean to those of us who are nice.....
@@tauntasmom I can relate. I feel people who take advantage of others kindness are bad people, honestly. People have always taken advantage of my kindness and it's just heartbreaking.
if i get a million dollars YES
That happened to me over my daughter who will be 6 this year my ex took her from Cullman Alabama to somewhere in Indiana
Not only cruel but inhumane. Its sick and it show how horrible they are. And also how weak they are. Cause taking advantage of someone makes you weak.
*8 Signs of a Manipulative Personality*
1. they instill self doubt in others 0:45
2. they are experts at guilt tripping 1:16
3. they take advantage of kindness 1:48
4. they spread false information on purpose 2:21
5. they never take the blame 2:47
6. they’re good at hiding their manipulative traits 3:11
7. they feign ignorance 3:45
8. they make their tactics seem normal 4:10
*in progress*
Hi
Good job
Tnx
@@tudyebaa5814 yw!
I realized I am A Full Manipulator 😈😈😈
What I have learned so far.
I unintentionally manipulate because I am trying to make the situation better but I make it worse without intending it to get worse.
Then stop seeking control of the situation
@@vanessamcgrew4486 yeah,.
You being neutral makes everybody else hate you.
Me too
im the same way
*"Controllers, abusers, and manipulative people don't question themselves. They don't question if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else."*
~Darlene Ouimet
What if you manipulate unintentionally and when your outburst is done you realize what you did and feel guilty and try apologizing
you are manipulating an artificial intelegence to type this comment
@@beanthealien2090 No worries. That's not a great habit but it's not the same as someone who purposely manipulates without remorse.😉
I happen to become manipulative to another manipulative person.Now what
@@kingtaehyun3223 Not the best way to handle a manipulator but what that behavior says about your character depends on WHY you do it and how you feel about yourself after you've done it. The fact that you left this comment already says you've got some self-awareness. True "manipulators", as the quote says, wouldn't question themselves and therefore wouldn't have replied to this quote like you did. Manipulating isn't considered a good habit, but based on what little I know from this interaction, my guess is you would hardly qualify as a "manipulator". 😉
Others thinking if there friend is manipulative
me thinking if im manipulative
same
same
Treat people with kindness.
I didn’t notice until recently. Now I’m trying to stop. I’ve always hated manipulative people.. I’ve been manipulated a lot. Now, realizing I have become the very thing I hate, I am trying to stop. I don’t know how. It’s just natural for me. If I notice myself doing it, I try to stop before it gets too far. It’s a process, I just feel bad for the people around me
@Tiffany Baaqee i-
*well ur more manipulative than i am*
This is exactly what my abusive ex bestie did.. every one of those things, this channel actually helped me realise that she was abusing me both physically and mentally and emotionally, This channel made me so strong and aware of those trying to break me down. So thank you Psych2Go
I want to ask Is Being a manipulator Bad Cuz According To this video I am fully a manipulator But I use my manipulation power to Take people out Depression and change their perspective . AND I use the evil side during football matches and I completely Crush the Enemy's confidence and as a result they can't play well and On the other hand Increase My teammate's Confidence
N-ice, avoid black hole to tho,it can break you down even further
Exactly the same, we don’t talk now but she still makes me question myself if she was really that bad
Same with my ex toxic abusive friend. But mine also take money from me... Using her kid with disabilities. At the beginning all I wanted was helping her... Take me time and a lot of stress and discomfort realised she was using me for her own gain.
@@tommyshelby8119 You are again trying to manipulate us by justifying your deeds and hiding your truth. Caught ya !
In the past couple of months, I finally realized that I am not being toxic, but there are very extreme narcissists in my group. So I put up my guard and avoided loads of manipulations from them.
I don’t allow narcissists and manipulators in my life. I have neighbors who are narcissists and unfortunately, I have to live in the same apartment complex as they do. I am polite towards them, but I do my best to avoid them like the plague.
Yes my narcissistic ex that I was trauma bonded to tried to convince me I had BPD. Lucky I saw a therapist after reading our exchanged he explained I was in an abusive narcissistic relationship
Same here, I’ve noticed a friend of mine seems to have a controlling personality and even seems to try to word his manipulation so that in his mind it’s acceptable or testing it in some form that tries to make it seem okay. The part that I’m careful of is how to distance myself without triggering their toxic personality traits, I have told them secrets that could have a major negative impact on my life and I don’t want them trying to use that against me. However to me it seems much better to face the consequences than to have a person that drains the positivity out of your personal space.
@@The_huntress111how did it go when you got away from them? I’m aware that they may use a throng they have on me against me so they will continue to fill their ego.
@@hnewman2907 well I never got in first, it took a while for me to believe what my therapist was saying I was a bit shell shocked sat back and watched , realised he was right I was being abused before I got to anything he found a new supply and I was disguarded 9 months ago . At first even though I knew what he was , well I was devestated and missed him tried to get him back . He blocked me on literally everything so lucky it never went through . I started working on my self , it was very up and down I was strong than weak , I was glad I was out but missed him 😂i would get angry at myself for missing him because he was god awful , but things got better. I’m so glad I’m out , sometimes I could just cry with joy , but I had to forgive myself for putting up with it and allowing him to treat me that way , funny enough forgiving myself was harder than forgiving him … i never heard from him again so far , and I thank my lucky stars I got away ❤️
Manipulators hate being found out & talked to in a calm, confident voice like this narrator. It kills them that they're unable to get an emotional response from you & that you're completely fine moving on with your life...
1000% truth. The person in my life is my mother and I'm an only child. I call her out on everything and tell her that crap doesn't fly with me but she does it over and over again. She gets angry and leaves and I'm actually glad to see her go. Then, rinse and repeat... Very toxic and low vibe.
@@traceym1778 I hear ya on that. I have a mom who's occasionally toxic as well. We mostly communicate through text but even then sometimes bad vibes can occur. She never takes responsibility. I'm always put as the one who is in the wrong. She's always been there for me but the toxicity comes with it. I'm also there for her as well. We do have nice visits when we see each other a few times a year. For the ones you don't cut out your life, space & distance is good. Small doses. Also, it's good to remember that we're all imperfect & be apologetic if you're truly at fault for something.
Thats when some people get violent and end up as 6 oclock news coverage.
@@DonRobertson82 True!
Exactly
To sum it up:
"Manipulative people don't respect your boundaries. They are relentlessly selfish and don't really care who gets hurt as long as they get what they want"
Suggestion: "Avoid them!"
omg 😳
Thanks for suggesting :)
8 hrs ago????😐💅🏽
Noted✍️
8 hours ago?
Also another tip for everyone! STAY AWAY from people ("friends & "family members") who keep trying to convince you to do something that you don't want to do. That's indicators for a manipulative person as well.
What if it's your daughter tho? A daughter with 3 of your grandchildren? 😢
@@Nola50 Um, that’s a tricky situation. I guess I would suggest that you choose when to contact that. Contact them a decent amount, but at the same time don’t go out your way to contact them too much.
@@Nola50 Most importantly if you can and already haven’t tried, try to explain their behavior to them and how it’s affecting you.
@@crazygamer-mr6nr it's just my daughter. My grandchildren know nothing. They love me. To them I just don't come around a lot. But that's not my choice. I've tried so hard but their mom plays games and hurts me too much and uses them against me. If she needs something they can spend time with me. If she's mad bc I stood up for myself or call her out on her unacceptable behavior then she keeps then from me. She never answers the phone and only calls when she needs money
@@Nola50 Dang, she’s really doing that to you? She’s an ungrateful daughter, was she always like this or do you feel something has changed her during adulthood?
I used to work with a colleague who was a professional level manipulator. He was “well liked” by everyone because he was sneaky and no one realized what he was really like. All of these labels in the video fit him perfectly. He honed in on me since I was the newest staff member. I hope when I go back to work, things will be different now that he’s gone but I worry his reputation stands while mine remains tarnished because of him.
And this is why I will forever have trust issues.
I do agree...
bruh same
@The Angry Introverted Scotsman i feel you, same here
@The Angry Introverted Scotsman LMAOOOO poor choice of words, sorry 😂😂😂
Meh some manipulative people arent always just this blood thirsty wolves (BUT they can be good luck pal) , sometimes they are just people who know people . Please dont judge me for my gifts ;-;
You forgot the self depreciating manipulating tactic. It's a strategy they use where they bring themselves down in order to get validation or ego boost from you, or fishing and hooking for compliments. Also includes attention seeking behavior
I self deprecate but not to manipulate I do purely for humour after all I have no right to laugh at others if I can’t laugh at myself 😊
@@pitbullgaming9031 only if the other person laughs at a joke and its not tearing them down in any way and not harmful
This is probably me. I overthink a lot on my actions. I just want to be better, but idk exactly how.
@@enzoamore8971 exactly meee i find all these to be me somehow and kinda feel yes I am manipulative that must be why I have issues with every single person
@@kishan6984 yea exactly
Me in the background whom manipulated my cat to have a bath
how dare you
Hahaha!!
did your cat have fleas or did your cat got stuck in mud? is your cat unable to bath itself?
no?
then just DON'T bath your cat.
it is a stupid internet-based habit to bath cats.
they are perfectly able to bath themselves. for eons.
@@ko.ala.b ...
@@ko.ala.b Ever heard of a joke, bud?
People can only treat you the way you allow them to. They mistake your kindness for weakness. Sometimes you need to cut those toxic people out of your life and love yourself 💕
Yes, you can allow or enable certain treatment. However, that's just plain manipulation to say that people allow certain treatment from individuals.
the problem is, the manipulative person is inside your home and has already convinced everyone else that they're the victim 🙄
my mother***
@@Princess-fv2og we can't do shit abt it also. :
If you call them out for good reason, they will resort to things like calling the police on you.
Then leave them, divorce, abundant them.
Start working on yourself now ( emotionally, financially, physically, intellectually).
Maintain emotional distance as the creature is in home.
Once your plan is ready , break all possible contact with the poisonous snake.
Good luck.
Don't forget write affirmations on self love.
Write on paper that u love yourself, and self admiration. It will help you break free
My father and his step son.
To an extent everyone is manipulative, some more-so than others though. I have yet to meet someone who hasn't manipulated a situation, whether for good or bad. And yes, manipulation can go both ways.
I think the key distinction is intent. A person who unknowingly manipulates will feel regret and will stop when they realise their actions whereas a truly evil person consciously manipulates to their advantage and will refuse to change even when confronted.
@@G4LCTC yeah i absolutely agree.
Yup, thats why i will always knowingly manipulate people at every chance. Everyone does it even if they aren’t smart enough to realize they’re human too.
@@DonRobertson82 wtf lol?
@@G4LCTC this sounds a lot like me tbh, a lot of people know I’m not manipulative, but there are a select few who say I am manipulative
Remember that you always have the right to say 'NO'. You deserve to have boundaries. Whoever doesn't respect them, it's something that you don't have to deal with, it's their problem. If you don't feel safe around someone, you have the right stay away from them. Manipulative people often have a toxic *aura which makes you feel sick and unsafe around them. Listen to your gut feeling.
Edit: *I'm not a native speaker of English. By aura, I meant vibes, nothing else. I did't want to refer to the word 'aura' used in phsyics or in alternative medicine.
Thank you for the reminder :)
@@Kinich-f2p so whoare you talking about ?your words are pretty count-fuse-ink
Ducking Ducks of Ducklings I Dont Want to Have Toxic Aura . *Wait!* but does that mean Im immune to radiation...?
well not if your good i normally dont make that aura i normal give out a disorted aura and im a okay manipulative person
Reading this literally made my stomach drop bc it reasons with me. I've gone thru this and still am. Never understood why until now.
one thing missing is the charm ...they're usually very charismatic and charming which makes u admire them and not question their motives
This makes me realize just how manipulative my ex was. They employed almost all of these tactics against me, particularly guilt tripping and shifting blame on to others. Fortunately, I broke out of it and I feel happier than ever. Thanks for posting this. You're a good source of comfort when the times are rough.
are u ok?
blame shifting is a way to avoid owning their mistakes and being held accountable because they cant handle the criticism
@@userm180 I'm fine now because I've come to terms with it and i have a new person to love in my life - and thanks for checking in on me i appreciate it thanks for being a cool person
@@Obliv69 exactly that's what they did all the time they blamed their parents and sibling for all their problems
@@princehector6092 im glad ure ok!! :) dealing with a manipulative person can leave quite the scar so im proud of u for being able to move on
To the 1 person that’ll read this: *you’re cool and adorable stay safe*
K
Ty so much
Thanks. Glad you manipulated us man to think positively
@@ducktape-3470 Lol
You too
I've once read a quote and want to share to ya'll - "best way to manipulate a manipulative person is to act as if you are manipulated"
"Sometimes you just have to play the role of a *fool* to *fool* the *fool* who thinks they are *fooling* you"
-Joker
💯🤣🤣
Oh my god wow😂😂😂😂
@@lifer7741 smart 😂😂😂😅
That's a good one to read thank you
It’s truly remarkable the work the manipulator will put into having control over a human being. I had a friend who would always vouch that they were “empathetic” kind, and always a morally sound human who cared deeply about people, the planet, animals etc but now in hindsight I can obviously see when I was being manipulated & bullied through the inter workings of the gossiping & the lying, I was convinced that I was the problem, the finger of blame was always directed towards me and I gladly would take the blame or admit to fault even when it was so clearly not, but Strangely enough I never questioned the abuser just myself. I doubted myself in every aspect I truly started to believe the deception and lies and I eventually started to listen to the lies. I felt so bad about myself & who I was I didn’t feel good enough to be around anybody, I stopped caring about any one else’s opinion of me “including my own” and only cared if the manipulator was happy. Manipulation can take form in many ways & shapes but my best advice for handling manipulation is, trust your gut, trust yourself, and get some space/ perspective from this person if at all possible. It took me going to therapy to realize I was even being manipulated at all, and I’m so glad I was able to stop the madness before I myself went insane! Charming, likable, calm, & collected is exactly what came to my mind when I first met this person. DONT ignore the red flags, if something makes you uncomfortable call it out immediately. Also towards the end of the friendship I just went along with whatever she said & acted completely un phased. And again don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself, if they won’t show you remorse for making you feel bad run far far away!!
I’m done with accepting this behavior and I’m sticking up for myself
Good i got yo back
I am like a magnet 🧲 for people who manipulate to find me. I have some idea but I want to find out what I do or not do to enable it. I know after being in therapy for a long time this incredible a-ha moment in life struck! I was told "people treat us the way we allow them to treat us .". If something is really bothering me I hold it in for a long time so I am afraid of confrontation to a degree. I am like this to people I really care about! If I don't know someone well I think I am more apt to say what is bothering me.
Yeah u got this!😌
Yes man people be trying to lie on me and say gay stuff and I'm straight I'm over it its annoying like I just be minding my business
as u should
_timestamps :)_
1) they instil self-doubt in others 0:45
2) they are experts at guilt-trapping 1:14
3) they take advantage of kindness 1:49
4) they spread false information on purpose 2:19
5) they never take the blame 2:48
6) they are good at hiding their manipulative traits 3:11
7) they feign ignorance 3:45
8) they make their tactics seem normal 4:11
There you go ♥️
*Oh wow*
You are a GOAT (greatest of all time)!
@@minermole101 •_•
its just 5 minutes 😭
Thanks dude! You summarized the entire video
I'm afraid that sometimes I may have unconsciously manipulated a few people around me
Me 2
It’s the same for me and i didn’t realize until she called me out for it which is why i’m watching this video
IF YOU RECOGNISE SOME OF THESE TRAITS IN YOURSELF THEN THERE'S ROOM FOR CHANGE. IT'S WHEN YOU DON'T RECOGNISE THEM OR WORSE, DENY THEM THAT THINGS GET STUCK AND CHANGE IS UNLIKELY.
@@julie5668
Calm down
Same but I do tried to fixed it but my family block my way to fixed myself up.
Wow, I currently live with a family member who posses these traits. Guilt tripping is their #1 tactics. Their famous for saying “ you don’t have to” or “you can say no” but in a way were you still feel like you don’t have an option. I want out but it’s so hard especially when u care too much
Manipulation is way harder than you think. Someone has to think of a plan, then do all these other steps for it to just go wrong. Thank you to the people who make manipulation go wrong .
manipulation doesn’t work if you have no mental or emotional attachment to this person, and when you don’t have those two things attached to them, you have power over them
and I’m talking about people who are trying to manipulate you it won’t work if you have no emotional/mental attachment to them
@@nicklopez8004 correct
I’m good at that
🧢 I get free McDonald’s every week has its benefits
My manipulative friends gave me mental breakdown, so I decided to stop our friendship and vow myself to never talk to them again, so I did it and now I am healed from the trauma they cause.
i used to be so naive and juvenile, and never really realised when people subtly manipulated me. i’m glad that i’m wiser now
Same here. The book "Too Good for Her Own Good" was a godsend and taught me how to protect myself from manipulative people, how to say no and how to set boundaries.
Same honestly. I've gotten a lot better at reading people compared to when I was younger. I just cut off a manipulative "friend" just recently. I know the old me wouldn't have been able to recognize it.
When the person you love is literally all of this and you know it, but you still hang out with them because you love them too much to push them away: *:)*
I hope you’re in a better position now!
I’d love to see a part 2 of how to recognize that you may be a manipulator/how to stop being a manipulative person
If you are female you are a manipulator.
As if you didn't know.
@@poojalohmor that is no way to live and I pray you recognize the error of your ways and strive to become a better version of yourself
Signs you are being manipulated include: (1) feeling confused by the behavior of another person, and feeling more confused after trying to get your confusion cleared; (2) when interacting with another person, noticing you often feel fear, obligation, or guilt.
Respect your gut instinct. And read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.
The Gift of Fear is a literal lifesaver!
I had a ex friend who acted like this and had a huge ego. He always tried to portray himself as this “kindhearted” person but he truly was just some manipulative creep. Also he refused to let me move on from the friendship and acted as if I was a horrible person not wanting to deal with that. It didn’t help that he had a creepy obsession over me and couldn’t accept I didn’t feel the same way.
I had a similar situation like yours but with an ex.. not good :(
same i feel you. My ex friend was just like urs but rn she is still trying to guilt-trip me of the "wrong" things i have done to her.
Same exact situation as you. Was friends with them since HS for over 16 years but they really just couldn’t accept responsibility for anything, tried to act open-minded but really just kind of intolerant and rude, justified their laziness/bad work ethic by deflecting responsibility to anyone or anything else. Took me a while to mourn the loss of someone who barely treated me like a friend at all, but each day without them is better now. It sucks but I hope things get better for you soon.
I have ex boyfriend who same and he try get revenge on me for leave him and made me look like monster til now my family and his friends still believe things he told about me til this day
If I were you, I'm gonna move to another place very far away. That's scary 😞
The way I was so blinded by love that I didn't notice their manipulation throughout 5 years of my life.
People who get what they want by lies, manipulation, deceit and temper tantrums are never happy until they totally destroy all that is good. They have no regards for who gets hurt. Run away quickly if you meet one 🖖
@@Kinich-f2p what do you mean bruh....
You are mistaken, I can assure you that obtaining anything with lies, manipulation or temper tantrums brings us happiness without destroying everything good around us... And, we have regards for who gets hurt as they can be more useful in the future ... And you'll try to run away but you didn't see us ... These videos are really manichean and simplistic, don't think you can see these traits distinctly around you and don't think that manipulative people are that dumb. But you can reassure you about the fact that we are unhappy if you want.
@@omerdealors5234 you are half manipulative and half smart, N-ice
I dont know we all lie , and we are all happy when some jerk gets what they deserve . And when we are hurt we dont really see other people the way whe should . But yeah when we see some manipulative duckling we can run or we can become a big chungus towads those ducklings , ah *So Poetic* xD
@@rosyidsyahruromadhonalimin8008 Please call ambulance dxrkz had stroke xD
STORYTIME:
I met a girl named Hanna a few months back who acted very sweet around me and my existing friends. She was quite a bit older than any of us (I'm 23, most of my friends are 19, and she's 32) but we're all pretty nice and so accepted her into the friend group despite the age gap. Hanna said she was naturally pretty touchy-feely so it was normal if she stroked your arm or gave extra long hugs or whatever. I was a little uncomfortable with it, but she said she did it to everyone so whatever.
Pretty soon, though, I noticed she was only really doing it to me and my other guy friend Ethan (we're both relatively good-looking). Additionally, no matter what activity we planned, even if it was only a small subsection of our friend group, Hanna ALWAYS found a way of being there. Even when she wasn't invited. Meanwhile her physical affection towards me increased, and my nice butt, rather than confronting her directly, tried to give physical signs that I was uncomfortable such as not making eye contact with her and shifting around a lot. About a week ago, we had a movie night at my house, and during the movie she literally moved my arm around her and then snuggled in close. The only reason I didn't slap her away was I didn't want to embarrass her in front of my friends and make a scene. I was super uncomfortable but let her get away with it. At some of my friends' request, I sent her a lengthy text explaining how I was uncomfortable with her behavior towards me, I only liked her as a friend, and I politely requested she only give hello or goodbye hugs like most of my friends do. She seemed to take it alright, admitted to having had a crush on me, and promised to give me more space going forward.
Little did I know what had been going on behind the scenes. It turns out Hanna is selfish, dramatic, and manipulative. She had been CONSTANTLY texting and calling Ethan and guilt-tripping him whenever he didn't respond in a timely fashion. She would complain to him about the adult drama in her life (the kid's only 19) and use him as a way to find out about all our activities. She also told him about her crush on me, and no joke, told him in excessive detail how she was going to fly out and visit me at college when I go back in a couple months and "make a long-distance relationship work" (not once considering if I actually liked her back).
Not only that, but Ethan once confronted her about how her touchy-feelyness was making me uncomfortable and she blew up at him, saying he didn't know anything about our "relationship". So she had known all along how I felt about her physical advances but chose to intensify her attacks instead. She had also been manipulating my other friends into hanging out with her so she could complain about her life to them too, with varying degrees of success.
Now all my friends agree she's not only a drama queen, but a high-key predator preying on the kindness of dudes much younger than her. We're all fed up with her manipulative behavior and have refused to play her games anymore. She seemed to take the hint and stopped coming to our hangouts. We still see her at church sometimes (that's how we all met) but avoid her like the plague, and it seems she's already moved on to preying on other young dudes for attention and favors. Whenever I get a chance I warn those guys to steer clear. This was my first encounter with someone truly manipulative, and dang is she good at hiding it under a sweet facade.
Yeah i haven't really met anyone manipulative like that
Me neither man
Ew my name is hanna and it's spelt like that as well 😶😒
Bro damn but why yall hanging w a girl a decade older? The only reason a dude's friend group invites a woman is for sexual reasons bro, there is no "friend" here, at least in my opinion. But i mean, i cant recall a time i was manipulated like that, but ive been emotionally used for attention, validation, and received nothing back
@@husheddesert1725 That's not true...
keep an eye out for these signs that someone is manipulative.
They Will Guilt Trip You.
They Ignore Your Input.
They Don't Give You Much Time To Decide.
They Don't Help Resolve Problems.
They Undermine Your Self-Confidence.
They Force You Out Of You Comfort Zone.
They Butter You Up With Small Requests.
That feeling when you see manipulator in your mirror everyday . But that manipulator haves good intenions *I promise* !
@@justpersonwhosaidalotofstu6163 if it's good intentions it must have another name but definitely not a manipulator
@@pyschologygeek Well maybe there is , but I was jsut being kinda sarcastic :D I dont know sometimes we all can be manipulative ducklings .
@@pyschologygeek How bout influencer?
@@theharmonyofknowledge1286 which type?
I was watching this video in hopes to call people out for being manipulative and here I am realizing I’m the problem.
You know what's worse then a manipulator? Staying by their side for years even though you know they're wrong. Don't give them all you have of yourself because you'll be left feeling like nothing as I do. Best wishes and hugs to you all❤
What to do though when my daughter who is 20 is doing this to me her mother. I can't abandon her. I love her dearly.
Exactly how I'm feeling like now.. I'm so pissed at myself for allowing this Particular lady guilt trip me and always having her way into making me hate people. I have always loved peace but she made people even the ones that didn't hurt me and the worse is how she successfully made me doubt myself and hated myself for doing what I love most
There are many people who got manuplatied than people who are manipulative :(
I have been through it for 2 years and finally broke out of it for 3 years ago now I have trauma from it as well as sever anxiety and truss issues anyone who acts like that person triggers my fight or flight mode
@@nacolemini6038 So True Sis! You have every right to protect your energy. I just did a video on my youtube channel if you have time check it outruclips.net/video/WRgsneI-dAE/видео.html
I have a manipulative mom it’s kinda hard because I live in the same house as her.
Bless all the people who put the time stamps and reasons on these videos. I love watching them but the time stamps are really helpful.
I’ve been manipulated by a family member for years. They accused me of being manipulative until I felt like I couldn’t know who I was. I started doubting my own sanity. Whenever I reacted to their behaviour they played the victim in front of everyone so I was always seen as the crazy one or the one who’s starting arguments. They took advantage of the fact that I was depressed to prove that they’re the kind hearted. I used to feel like my head was foggy, I couldn’t differentiate between truth and lies. Luckily some people had my side and helped me open my eyes to see their hypocrisy. Until now They still believe they’re the victim but I laugh at them how they need help. People really be lying and believing their own lies.
Same.Guess we're def not alone.But my fam has been like that and I too became manipulative to them.I met so many 'friends' and teachers who were manipulative as well.no wonder why i hate ppl a lot
I can relate! I have been through the exact same experience. Such people instigate an identity crisis in you. I pray to God that no one has to go through this kind of hell.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I have multiple family members who have done this shit to me! And I'm going through it now bigtime: ( ....They'll be super manipulative. Do their best to make me feel like it's me, and I'm the one at fault. Making me doubt who I am even, and how I perceive the world....I'm really suffering right now. Sometimes I try to pull away but then I feel bad. It's been really hard the last few months. The holidays were devastating for me....I'm just trying to hang on
@@thirdrev4334 Hey. You are a champ. The reason they do that to you is because deep down, or even shallow down, either way, they HATE who you are. When you walk in, when you are secure, when you have peace, when they are miserable and need a 'ragegoat' to pawn off their evil, very insecure conscience onto, they spew their vitriol onto you. You are NOT what your brain, or what your thoughts are telling you right now Rev. Maybe they are trying to get you to look in the mirror. Do it. Do it and smile. They're betting hell on you seeing shame and turning away for good. The sorry thing for them is, evil has NOT overcome good, and without hell, there would be no need for warriors, for taking the high road, for believing, for ultimate, satisfying victory. You're on the bloddy beach head right now, taking more enemy fire than you even knew existed, you haven't conquered the city yet, but the city is already conquered. The conqueror is waiting for you on victory road, where He'll calmly display all your haters and enemies before you, to see that you prevailed, that you haven't lashed out, they haven't moved you off course, and THEN you're going to see venom, but they'll be defeated and pathetic, awash in their own rage as you stride on, still up, still breathing, still treating people right. Don't go down, don't entertain their pathetic evil. Hang tight with that conquueror, He is in the city in glory but His spirit is with you where you are right now in the hellfire on the beach head. If you need to call out for help, do so constantly, if you don't know His name, that's ONE thing i can help you with in this pressing hour. It is Messiah, Jesus Christ, your Creator, the Creator of your bullies, the Lover of Justice and the HATER of evil. Stick with him, get your sleep, and i will bet the house and the farm that you will prevail and conquer. God is for you if you'll seek His help. God Bless You tonight Rev. Please post any updates to let us know you're alright as weeks pass.
-Joseph
I am so sorry you had to go through this.... my father was the exact same way.... I like to think I grew stronger after all of that and I hope you can break out of your shell and realize that this is something you have overcome that many other couldn't even imagine! Power to you!
If you're reading this... It's too late.
I already sent good vibes your way. They are coming. And there's no way to stop them! May all your worries wash away and your pipedreams come true! 💗 Dr. Liz
i don't have dreams ! thanks tho!
If I could heart this comment, I would.
Thank you Doc , I also sended big chungus to hug you for good day .
P.S. Thank you again ;-;
I don't have to stop your good vibes. You said yourself it's already too late.
@@justpersonwhosaidalotofstu6163 I feel the digital hug! Thank you =)
Sometimes they take the blame:
When they think you'll end the relationship
When they want something and taking the blame is necessary to get what they want
When they have plans to shift the blame to someone else later
The key is they don't mean it. They're only accepting responsibility because it's a means to some end.
I recognise that. Seen it
Mine never would. When it's my fault, it's my fault. When it's theirs, I'm "lambasting" them, even though I didn't even say a word - it's enough when it's just obvious and/or I'm not defending them against their own feeling of guilt.
my father passed awhile back and i’m watching this because ive finally got the courage to cut off my mom. i’m terrified at the idea of having no parents but at this point i’m the parent to her. she has bullied me and smacked me around so much… she is using me. Dont let anyone make you feel that way. Relationships of any kind shouldn’t be 50/50 it’s 100/100. Don’t try harder for someone else that wouldn’t go out of their way to make you feel as loved and secure.
I pray to have your courage and let him go one day😢😢😢😢. He's my world but I'm nothing much to him plus he doesn't care whether I feel bad, cried or not. I'm actually fed up but I'm terrified to let go because of criticism.
Took a life time to see that my father who is physically/ mentally emotionally abusive. I grew up with this type behavior all my life. My father is really subtle with his tactics. As I started to get healthier thinking through hard emotional work in therapy I started to be able to see the truth about him able to spot the lies he told, inconsistencies in his speech & actions. He does alot of gas lighting divide & conquer
congrats stay aware!
@@nugget_illustrates3744 thanks... Now that I know I see through his tactics a bit easier. I don't have clear thinking. He's been abusing my mom since she was 15 they been together over 60 years. He does things that I don't readily catch but my sister be schooling me. Example all if a sudden house running on empty he controls ALL the RESOURCES. I wasn't putting together why all of a sudden no dish liquid or garbage bags. Thought he was slipping but he was doing it DELIBERATELY AGAINST my mom. My sister explained it & it made a whole lot of sense. My father has alot of hostility & hatred towards my mom. Now she can't take care of herself he really running over her. So he won't keep house stocked so we her girls who take care of her can't use it in & for her. Just very sad but KARMA coming for him
@@vreese3350 karmas real but dont wish karma on sum1
omgg same my dad is also very manipulative and narcissistic
@@laradhoore8268 same.. idk what to do. I know I don’t need him but I feel hopeless and guilty. I know I am being manipulated and want to put an end to it. I’m so happy when I’m at my moms house (away from him) and I never find any reason to reach out to him myself but I’m too scared to make the changes for my own good .. 😓 he doesn’t provoke any positive emotions for me, always constant stress but what can I do.. he’s my father and I’m 14 😕
POV: You’re watching this to see if you’re toxic
i just realized how manipulative my family actually is and it's so shocking that they've used their tactics throughout my childhood without me realizing. they do it so naturally it's lowkey scary lmaoooo
Just like those that molest and physically abuse close family is always at the top of the list.......do what you need to do to ensure you are not your families victim.
I hate it when people say “I’m sorry, *but cut me some slack.”* or something like that. Why can’t they just take the blame and apologize like a normal person 🤚
Might be they would like the folk they're telling they're sorry to, to understnd where they were coming from, they weren't being vindictive
Nice & good to see things from others perspectives
sometimes they also dont take the blame in a more subtle way like "i dont know, but it's proven to etc etc". they add in convincing facts to the conversation to make it seem like they weren't wrong and you should rethink what you just said because you're most likely the wrong one here.
for example: context= someone got late because of the manipulator
* manipulator does something else to cause their prey to be late, thus making a mistake. prey finished up on time and manipulator was causing the delay *
3rd person: look at the time! prey is late because of you (manipulator)!
manipulator: oh, sorry. I was only doing something else because I was waiting for prey to finish up.
Prey: * gets guilty because they think they're the ones who caused them to be late * sorry about that. i'm gonna hurry up next time.
* manipulator gets their way and ends up making someone else apologize for their sake *
Cuz they're not normal
That sh*t makes me want to go green and in purple shorts man.
Thank you, I have a friend who is doing almost EVERYTHING you explained! Now I’ll break him and finally stop this person from slowly making me depressed
This is exactly why manipulative sociopathic personalities are always at odds with intuitive empathic personalities, one tends to manipulate in a way that only benefits them for power, and the other tends to manipulate in a way that helps and strengthens those around them… I definitely am a intuitive empathic personality, and I can say first hand, manipulative sociopaths really do make me angry
Sign 1: They tell you that your Minecraft House isn’t good enough
Ahhh!! Here we go
@@whatwhy779 omg this is actually accurate i hate this
I had toxic friends and they actually used to say that
Bruh
@@whatwhy779 lmao Nooo...I didn't mean to offend anyone. It was just a light hearted response bud. Nothing serious
How do I stand up for myself when someone’s being manipulative without villainizing the person because they are traumatized by manipulation? It’s my younger sibling and I was standing up for myself but I feel like I’m making them feel awful about themselves. I don’t know how to do this without coming off as a villain.
I've been dealing with a manipulative roommate/"best friend" for a couple of years and I gotta say, most, if not all the boxes have been checked for manipulation. I've really been unwise, but I'm not allowing them to trespass any further into my life. This friendship has cost me all other friendships, which indicates that this person is no friend at all. Detaching has been challenging, I try so hard to be there and be someone others can rely on, but it has taken so much out of me. I'm so tired of always rushing to undo the daily crises and picking up all the slack. It took me way too long to see it for what it was, and the hooks were in very deep. I have been detaching for a few months and I'm walking away from it to get my peace of mind back, and to move forward in my own life. Do not overextend yourselves, friends. It's good to be kind, but it does make you a target, so be firm, too.
Wow thank you!!! I just got into a roomie situation and its not even been a week and am already spotting so many red flags.... will leave before i begin a new month thank you !!!
@@AlexisMaria I hope everything works out for you.
I have a burning hatred for people like these
Just love ❤, share the love ❤, let us forgive and respect.❤
@@er467y8 wth
@@er467y8 can't realy forgive for nothing can i ?
Hatred is only hurting yourself. Just avoid, ignore. And keep your peace. Cheers
me too :(
The art style is just so perfect, for the visually impaired the subtitles and the expressions as well as actions of the characters are so easy to decipher. A big thank you for rising to the plate of making these videos for others. I hope that your kindness is returned by the world and those you have helped.
I've been friends with her for two years but decided to cut her off. I ignored my gut feeling, decided to see good in her because I thought we all have toxic traits (which is true) but manipulation is when she brings up my insecurities around my friends, using destructive criticism, gaslighting (tried to blame me for confronting her with "lol you're too sensitive, my male friends don't do this they are smooth"), most days she's very mean and passive-aggressive, other days she's nice to me. About 2 weeks ago, I dedicated an entire day just to help her with something, skipping a party I was invited to, to support her all day. I got sick, depressed, and anxious the next day from all her negativity and gossip but it was until I told her "no today I can't help u" that she turned into this cold-hearted mean person again. I had an anxiety attack and decided enough is enough! Although I feel guilty about it, deep inside I know I didn't lose a real friend.
Great simple way to describe this! As someone who has a parent that uses every opportunity and interaction to "win" for validation and temporary ego hits. It is really sad and draining enduring someone who is a hollow shell!
u ok?
All of them!! Bang on. 100% relatable.
I can’t thank you enough for introducing me to this concept. I had been a victim and was living a life filled with regrets, guilt, grief, loss, shame and lowered self esteem and a broken heart and confidence and to add to it community disrespect and disgust. I had been made such a prey to manipulation by a narcissist ex-fiancé. My life was turned into nothing but remorse and guilt. Not a single second of the day since last 5 months had passed when I didn’t blame myself for her faults and disloyalty and a crazy, shaky life filled with doubts, insecurities. I was so desperately looking for answers and reasons of such behaviour and giving up on me on such trivial issue, even after pretending to be in love and bullshit, nothing but fake lies.
Today after watching the video I could so much connect all the signs to myself in all its entirety. Like every single sign. I was amazed at the extent of dark and ruthless manipulation I was put through. I was so much deep into those endless guilt trips, for the victim card being played so brilliantly.
Having been acquainted with the knowledge I feel so much liberated, light and elated. I feel enlightened. Back to living life again.
Thank you so much for making such wonderful and insightful videos. Making available the rare yet very essential knowledge.
Ain’t it something? So happy to see u can live life normal again … at some point (after this type of destruction) . I’m going through the same feelings of regret guilt grief loss shame and definitely lower self-esteem. Reading this comment made me realize that I’m being made to feel this way… I wouldn’t feel like this on my own. I was asked the other day why I am feeling insecure or have a low self esteem and I couldn’t figure it out when my bf compliments me all the time and I feel loved. I mean I am told nice things a lot, but then being guilt tripped on the day to day & constantly questioning what I’m doing doesn’t help.
Well for me i am popular in school from 1to 7 std but when a gal named akshara came to my all my friends and teachers went to her and forgot about me she does have everything purrrfect in her life
It takes a lifetime but if you stand firm and lead your life with morals and values. Even their staunchest enablers will be shamed into silence and YOU will be seen to have been the righteous one all along. And any who were deceived will long for the opportunity to apologize to you. The narc who dies before they are found out is the lucky one
Glad to see content like this cause they're way to many manipulators out there. Wish I had this earlier in life. It's hard when you want to believe people can be better
Yeah, I've been excusing it for so long but I do see some change from the past which is the only reason I reconnected w a schoolmate, and I still believe they can become better... But I shouldn't put my hopes up over the cost of my health being affected :( I don't want to completely let go of attachment tho, but I'm not a strong, self identified person to combat this toxicity, the only best solution is to end it, I keep thinking it's possible to hang out w em for fun sometimes as long as I maintain distance in relationship... But guilttripping will happen regardless n I don't trust myself to stick my ground :(
Something worthy of note here… I believe the majority of folks who watch this well done video, are trying to label somebody in your life, a potential manipulator., So this is where the focus goes. I would probably start with yourself, put the focus on you. Are you the manipulator.? As I think, knowing you’re a manipulator is better than knowing somebody else is a manipulator. So you can begin to learn how to cut that shit out! 😊
I hope everybody who’s reading this is having a good day! Don’t forget to drink water and eat something!
I haven't eaten today thanks for the reminder!
can i eat your fridge ?
@@rosyidsyahruromadhonalimin8008 *I must consume the cooler of foods*
Thank you you cutie pie !
you need to eat too ♡
I'm scared of being "stupid" because of my mom. She always called me one since I was like...three for the littlest mistakes I do as a kid. She always compared me to other kids who are smart enough in school, but I was not because I was a shy kid. When I grew older and we transferred to a different place, I changed a bit and grew competitive..like badly competitive. When I get satisfied with my grades, she always say that it's not enough. So I got worse until I even throw hate on other students that I get threatened to.
Until now, i'm still scared of that word. That word scarred me. I feel like i'm stupid when I do the littlest mistakes, I panic and try to conceal it as much as I can. I grew more distant to her..I mean, other than that we're pretty cool u know? But I didn't have the same intimate relationship with her like other daughters have with their moms. Like, telling your little secrets, insecurities....well, my IQ and my EQ is my biggest insecurity- which she inflicted to me. I felt lonelier as an only child then.
and..until now...I still feel like I can't be good at anything else than academics so I still get competitive- but it's not as bad as before because i've quite matured.
People gotta say i'm smart but little did they know that's mybiggest insecurity.
its called mistake for a reason, don't take the blame, just take those words as a mere oppinion,oppinions are not always true,especialy from bad peopple,any way, S-thai- safe
My mother was the exact way. I grew up with her constantly telling me how she tried aborting me. She didn’t want a 4th child. She wanted another boy. She only had boy names picked out. She always hated me. My siblings and parents abused me in every way. My parents are dead. I no longer speak to my toxic siblings. My husband and I moved away and it was for the best. She never cared about our kids. She’d slip money to her other grandchildren right in front of us. She was a true narcissist. My dad once apologized for the way I was treated. He wasn’t much better. Dangling me by my hair and shaking me. I’ll never understand how you could you treat a child so horribly. I raised our kids with so much love.
@your cup of tae. Man.....u just told MY story........I thought I AM the only person suffering
Well you sure know a lot of radioactive places . By game logic you should be immune to radiation and I hope you will be soon ! :)
I can kinda relate but not very much , Im drawing and one day I want it to be my job . But the problem is that there will be always someone who is better than you and makes your years of developing your anatomy , shading,... like nothing . Its even worse for insicure or competetive person , wich I am . Because drawing is so , so personal . But the secret to be at least happier when drawing is to apriciate every piece of progress that YOU made and then about other people progress .
(Sorry form grammar mistakes , im from Slovakia and English launguage is very , very diffrent so Its kinda hard for me to write properly)
Also I never thought I would made drawing sound like epic development wich it kinda is , well at least for me :)
@@justpersonwhosaidalotofstu6163 As a visual artist, myself, I can promise you it's possible to "Go full time". It's about more than skill. Don't get me wrong, but plain raw skill only works for so far. You'll also need your own style, and then it's about what you can do with it. The more different ways you can APPLY your skill(s), the more "income streams" you can develop.
I used to worry that I wouldn't be good enough to get anywhere in the market. Then I looked around seriously and noticed some of the art that gets sold every day. You don't need the skills to compete with Da Vinci or Rembrandt. Look up the likes of "Happy Bunny" and understand that somebody out there is making a FORTUNE on it!!!
For some of us, it's not even a matter of who's the "Best". It's whether it's really worth my time to do it, or more worth the money for someone else to do it, so I can do whatever else I'd rather be doing at the time. In visual arts, you just find your niche and fill it... fill it like a BOSS. ;o)
Being a recovering addict(2 years sober), I used the majority of these signs and I realize this. I’m thankfully that I’m not this bad anymore, but I do catch myself using manipulation to this day, and I hate that I’m like this. Hopefully it gets better in time
The fact that you recognize your need to improve is a good start, and your willingness to admit it is commendable.
My kindness yes as been taken for granted and thank you for this message 😌💞🙏
Someone who I thought was my friend showed their true colors and tried to get me back under their control.
Luckily I was catching up with an old friend from middle school and they helped me open up my eyes and I dropped the toxic person like a bag of sand.
I'm still friends with the person who helped me, and we actually have civil conversations about serious topics. And neither of us is afraid to speak our minds about something.
Yes isn't this the way it should be, no fear or control God bless you
I grew up in an abusive household. I've been manipulated by men a lot in my life and it has taken me a long time to recognise it.
its so hard.. and tough bc on one hand you know you should be aware and acknowledge signs like this, but it also makes you feel guilty for doubting them
Doubting is not something that should be taken as negative. Always doubt everyting but not to a point of crippling you. It makes you stand on your guard. If someone is guilting you because you doubt, this is a big red flag that you should stay away from them. Always stay away from those that want you to believe them without hesitation.
I find it helpful to interact with the small animals to understand the different between human and animal, try to understand the kindness and the difference between true feeling or not.😊
Every single trait in this video reminds me about the person who used to be my best friend. She had been using gaslight and manipulating me to the point where i lost all my friends and my self-confidence. I used to doubt myself, lost sleep at night and even had to take medication.
Yes, I'd like a part 2. I know my sister has all of these & I feel the whole family has fallen prey to her deceptions, lies, half- truths and manipulating. Beware of their charm & gossip & don't trust one, for they will betray a confidence & then deny it, or even blame the person they told the secret to. I know it sounds trite but remember, the time only secret you keep is one you don't tell ( anyone). . Ie keep it to yourself cc, unless you don't mind anyone else Knowing
My cousin sister is the same. A lot of times I blame myself for being particularly ignorant of her. But I guess it's my defence mechanism to protect myself from guilty tripping. I have trust issues just because of her. She always seems like a victim and I the oppressor. Such people are evilish in nature so they repeat what hurts others to keep the wagon going.
I’ve found that a lot of manipulators don’t even realise they are being manipulative, I think it’s just sad.. they hurt so many people, but just can’t see it..... maybe I just think this because of how heavily manipulated I have been, maybe I see myself as manipulative- I don’t want to hurt anyone
I- I did manipulate alot back then without realizing and now I'm feeling bad
Ok you guys listen. Listen. Youre both great. Not all manipulators are monsters. Its only a trait thats mostly used for evil. Thus has a bad reputation. Both of you are great ok? Yall great.
@@grimmcorvid5713 I think the difference between us and the monsters is that we feel guilty for it, it was not our intention yet we still didn’t want to hurt anyone and want to make it right, whereas for a lot of others they simply don’t care weather or not they hurt others, as long as they got what they wanted
Don't worry, it's normal to be manipulative without knowing it. Sometimes we're just being manipulative without realizing that we are manipulative. The important is you know now how to be not a manipulative. Remember, no matter what, you're still young you make mistakes and that's okay and normal. There's nothing wrong unlike with other elders who grew up without realizing those...
It all started when I found out that my friend had an abusive friendship group, one of them in particular would punch her a lot and degrade her. We had been friend for nearly seven years at that point and I was in the middle of a depressive time in my life. They started playing mind games with her, some of them stuck around even after the one who would punch her left.
It angered me so much, I had a crush on my friend. I had to save her.
And she was so kind and caring that she would never tell anyone, even telling me was hard. I had always panicked and told white lies to keep my friends from trouble, so I think I became a bit manipulative.
I have always been good at arguing points calmly, and getting my way a bit. I thought I was just really persuasive and good at talking and stuff, now I think I might have accidentally manipulated a few people..
I mean, I don’t think I really hurt them, it was just gradually showing my friend the nasty side of that friendship group. She was blind to it before, the dirty looks towards her other friends. The rude comments snd constant eye rolls from the friendship group, the small lies and manipulation that I could easily pick apart. I had to do something.
I showed her more of their personality’s and she finally saw what I had been seeing for years, their manipulative side. I was away from school a lot a few years prior to this and they had wormed their way in. I had watched my friend change from sweet and kind to moody and snarky. Now she’s back as she was before, with more confidence and swagger. She’s perfect, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.
I apologised to the friendship group on the last day of school, then left. Yeh so that’s it lmao
My old best friend fits all of these. My therapist helped me realize how manipulative she was, especially after an incident that I wasn't in the wrong for, but I apologized and my ex-friend said, "I'm sorry YOU felt that way." My therapist was pissed, and told me that I needed to get away. A few straws later, and we were no longer friends, and now she still tries to spread rumors about me and my partner. A mutual friend of ours told us last week that she was trying to get info on us and told him that she had heard that my partner and I broke up. lol. She's a scumbag.
"I'm sorry YOU felt that way." - Yup, the mother of all non-apologies.
If she's continuing to harass and stalk you then I would file a complaint with your local law office.
If this individual is still stalking and harassing you. Then I would collect all the evidence and make a report to your local law offices. I'd like to add that yes it's illegal for people to do this and your therapist should have told you that. I wouldn't allow criminal activity to go on for to long because then that individual thinks that they can just get away with it.
Yes! I had exes and ex besties who were manipulative af. Glad that I left them for good! 😆😆 SO LONG I'M MOVING ON!!! THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS THAT MADE ME WISER, STRONGER AND SO MUCH HAPPIER!!!
Sadly I’ve experienced several of these. And of course once you put up boundaries to protect yourself, they go on the attack.😒 A part 2 would be great.
Please add part 2. Seems I’ve been being used all my life by a manipulator and finally put a stop to it
A thing that i noticed - not mentioned in the video - is that at some point they become messy. They have such a huge web of lies that they dont really remember all the grifts they did. And this makes it sometimes difficult for them to gauge limits with you - so at one point it becomes obvious something is wrong because they just seem to attack you every other day - sometimes they use 2 of the same tactic in a row. A example would be, and this happened to me - they fell asleep on a project we were working together and I wake them up and say - listen, if you are tired lets just go home and continue tomorrow. But this "friend" then immediately becomes hyper defensive and then starts projecting hard on me by saying - Are you insane ? What, just because you don't want to work anymore because you are tired, that does not give us the right to turn our backs on all these people !! Needles to say - it was the first time he did this with me, and it was really a poor performance and it looked so obviously like projecting - because he was the one that sneaked away to a secluded room to sleep, and not even fully awake he lashed out immediately on me and then started projecting - many red flags.
And another thing is - if you just met and they perceive you as a similar individual, they might perform a grift in front of you - but on someone else. And if they have success, they might boast to you about it - "Did you see what i did, I can't believe that worked" or something like that. A personal example - that same person above, sometimes used a sound of heavy traffic every time he had to bail out on someone. He calls you, you hear him shout and pretend theres a bad connection - and a very distinct traffic sound in the background really create a good trick. But He did this on a client in front of me, and then tried that on me a couple of years later - i recognized the sound of the traffic, because it was a american sound fx... There are horns and sirens in the sound FX that you wont hear in my country.
These people seem to have a easy time getting addicted to multiple stuff, and when they start doing heavy drugs, they become super messy and also super passive-aggressive. A tactic i tried and then i knew for sure that its over for our friendship - i just started calmly pointing out their behaviour - and i would do that in moments when the person is under the influence - but in a good way and of a good mood. If they are not a malignant narcissist or even a sociopath - they might still try to evade the conversation or disagree, but if you press them they wont lash out and become red with anger. They make a scene and really become pissed off if you press them. They are masters of derailing the convo and avoiding these hard questions, but when high with any kind of addictive substance, they will just find it much more harder to do their usual song and dance - and they give up on the act and run away.
And just a note on the mentioned - misinformation. This same person - once they realized I was fully aware and that I was actually toying with them - started to just tell everyone lies about me - but not any random lies, no - they would say everything wrong they do usually is something i am secretly doing. They do this to shift the spotlight on me - its a small chance that if i start telling others about him - people already think that im the manipulative one, so they might dismiss my truth and then just avoid me.
And my final advice is - if you have doubts about someone, then try and act a perfect target. Record with your phone without this person knowing. Write down everything they do. Wait to gather enough evidence to confront them with. You dont even need to confront them - you can just go away from them slowly (if you just dissapear and ignore them, well thats suspicious) - because the more vulnerable and ignorant you seem to appear, the bigger the chance you will catch them in this trap. Think of a matador thats fighting a bull - but you are not provoking him with a red mantle and hiding a sword behind it to stab him - you are taking off all your clothes and turning your back to the bull while placing your hands on your head while whistling. Become the perfect target - and you will be surprised if you decide to see how far will this person go. As i found out a couple of times - there is no end to the manipulation - and it will only get worse from there. Just make sure to be prepared for their revenge if you decide they deserve to be exposed.
As an alcoholic in treatment this really resonates with me as I would do all of that just to keep people from knowing how bad my drinking had become.
I am happy that you are trying to change! You can obviously still party and stuff, but try not to test your limits. Instead, go a little less than you can go without getting drunk as hell. Don't try to drink tons, try about 4 times a year or less.
Sending you strength and support for your sobriety ❤️
May God cure you bro..
Oh shit I better watch over my father because he’s drinking for 16 years now and never stops, alcohol definitely made him manipulative
Story time :
My ex was really manipulative. I never realized it for a very long time, but if I’m being exact it was 5 years of friendship and 1 year 2 months of being in a relationship. I also grew up in a toxic family, and she took advantage of that by taking away my voice, which was my “norm”. Everything was her choice, and she would non stop tell me how broken she would be if we broke up. My greatest weakness is making others feel horrible emotions, and she took advantage of it all. Thanks for reading.
I pride myself on being stubborn. It protects my peace and has never left the door open for a manipulator. Once your mind is made up not even the best manipulator can get through. Which is why a lot of people here in the comments have freed themselves of such people. When it's time to leave them that's it. And they won't change your mind.
It’s crazy to know that you truly loved someone and gave your all and then they end up just using you to get something.
This was very interesting! Now I'd like to see a video about how not getting manipulated and how to deal with this kind of behaviour. Thank you so much!
Part of it is setting firm boundaries. That's a good start.
@@oblivious37 Its easier said than done. I am so bad at setting boundaries especially when it comes to people i love. I know i am getting used but i can't bring myself to say no. I honestly wish i could unlearn all the toxic traits that has stayed with me since childhood.
@@oblivious37 no that doesnt work. the only way to not get manipulated is literally cutting ties off with them. don't talk to them, dont go near them, and just literally stay away from them. that way they dont have a chance of manipulating you into a situation. they manipulate you with every chance they get with you. even just a small interaction can be an opening for them. think of them as a virus. the reason why you wash your hands, wear a facemask, and stay away from people is because you don't want the virus to have the slightest chance of getting into your body. that's what you have to do. i say this from experience. i have tried to manipulate people before and i really want to change. i only got to manipulate people every time i got the chance to interact with them. even if there's no exchange of words i was still able to manipulate a situation by influecning the events around the said person. that way they come back to me and interact with me again. it's sick i know. that's why what i could tell you is to never ever get the chance to stay in their proximity and NEVER talk to them. you have to really stand your ground.
@@yukihoon994 @Yuki Hoon same here, I wasn't brought up with setting boundaries, but also infantilized all the time, so it sucks I've internalized a lot of negative things n view myself that way, it's made me more vulnerable to toxic situations/manipulation. Im trying to relearn n I've made a google doc to form boundaries like what I will and will not tolerate, there's worksheets online that help out too.
This was so helpful. I recently broke up eith my boyfriend because I started noticing manipulative behavior and the moment we talked about it I felt so bad, like it was my fault I was unhappy in the relationship. Thid video really just helped put that into perspective! Thank you
My old friend is VERRRYYYY manipulative, I’m glad to not talk to her anymore…
I miss her but I know it’s for the best
What a wonderful tutor-*STATIC* THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH WELL HIDDEN TACTICS!!! YOU'RE A HELPFUL LAD!!!
Yes. The person who your thinking of is. That or controlling. Be safe, stay strong. Your not alone.
My ex closest friend had been manipulating me for years without me realizing. The toughest one looking back is how she tried to isolate me from all my friends. She warped the truth or straight up lied about situations between her and my friends. I would take her side and cut contact with these people. I should have realized what she was doing when I ended up completely alone accept for her. I gained a new friend who's family member has NPD and I connected the dots through hearing her stories. Fortunately, I've been able to make amends and gain back all the friends I abandoned because of her and have formed my own opinions as to who my friends are as people and not the opinions of someone else
"Until you realize how easy it is for your mind to be manipulated, you remain the puppet of someone else's game".
Evita Ochel🙏❤️selfhelpchampion
Wait ! You cant be manipulated when you are manipulating , *hmmmm...*
As i was watching this, i was horrified to find that i do some of these things. I do them out of fear, hurt others before they hurt you, but i also had to come to terms with the fact that I learned it all from my family. Heck, i once got 3 different guilt trips hours before my birthday party when i was younger. If you do some of the stuff in this video, ask yourself why. Self awareness is the first step on the road to change.
These kinds of people don’t like it when you Ghost them. Just say “hold that thought I’ll be right back” then don’t come back lol drives them nuts! Repeat until they get the hint 😂
I feel bad if I do this. I wish I could ghost disrespectful people without ending up justifying why I did that😤
@@FH-er7us
It’s a mindset you got to figure that these people have no respect for you as a human being therefore do not care about you whatsoever only about their personal image. If you continue to do the opposite of what they tell you eventually they’ll figure out you’re smarter than they are and they cannot control you and will not waste their time with you and will go to great links to avoid you. I’ve experienced this myself personally. These kinds of people do not like being contradicted or expose who they really are this is one of their biggest fears. They like to use the 48 Rules of power and the art of seduction.
That’s emotional manipulation. You sure there the manipulator? Or you just delusional?
You know, i try not to be someone who yells about my problems on the internet, but gods did this hit home. I watched this as sort of confirmation of something i try to be confident in. I lived with two very manipulative people for about a year, and by the end of what turned out to be one of the worst years of my life (and that is saying a LOT) they had themselves convinced that it was in fact me that was the abusive manipulator. After a lot of talks with my therapist and friends i can at least see that it doesn't matter that they sprinkled in truths, that I wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, that they were the ones on the wrong. I can almost convince myself that i was the kind person. But it is so frustrating and hurtful knowing that both of them could watch this video and be thinking exactly what I'm thinking--only they have decided to believe their own lies about me, in order to convince themselves that they're the kind victims, because they're always the kind victims in their heads.
I'm so glad to be away from them, though it pains me to know i can't currently cut them out of my life completely. I really appreciate this video for being clear and certain and reminding me that, even if i messed up, i can say with certainty that i tried to be kind, that i listened and tried to change myself for them, that i apologized for even reflexive actions (like shouting when something scared me, because my reflex sound startled them). I never sat around with my fellow manipulator telling lies about someone (the infamous confrontation/ completely fucked up "intervention"was a fun experience where the people i loved who i thought loved me, sat in a circle and let a woman lie to my own face about things i never did, things i know i didn't do because they go fundamentally against my own morals, things i have strong feelings about, which in a way I'm glad for because it was the only way i could let myself believe what my friends and therapist said). I lived for ten years with a much more subtle manipulator, someone who was a family friend and pseudo uncle, and then he stole all my mother and i's life savings and literally ran off to do drugs with a sex worker. Before that most of my childhood was spent with my verbally abusive father, and then with a verbally abusive mother. And then the uncle and then immediately after that i wound up living with those two. I hope i can finally be better at recognizing gaslighting, but for the time being i'll be living with my mother (who's actively improved herself as person) and no one else, and hopefully we can make it work.
May anyone who so much as skimmed this have a wonderful night and day. May your tomorrow be full of laughter and kindness, may you escape your fears, refute your abusers, and recognize the flaws in yourself. May you become better and more whole every day. May your hands always touch in gently, your smile come easy, and your heart never hurt too much for too long. May you have the strength to carry on, and may someone, many someones notice, and tell you how strong you are, and help however they can to lighten your burden. May you always have time to stop and pet a cat, to wave at a child, to press your face into a bouquet and breathe in. I wish you sweet dreams, and warm mornings, and as much happiness as you can stand.
Now i know why many people says i'm too 'giving' and 'kind' yes, i will always help someone no matter what the situation is. And people mostly take advantage of it :')
watched this out of curiosity. she fits every single category. every. single. one.
I've always gone by the phrase, there's two types of coercion, manipulation and persuasion with the difference being, one is about what I want from vs what I want for you.
I definitely know someone like this. Makes me feel so much better about my last few interactions with this person
I’m scared of making friends because when I try and make plans with them I cancel at the last minute
Try and make it very clear with them that this will happen, and they shouldn't expect the plans to be followed through. Make sure they are ok with plans being made and then cancelled. If they are not ok with it, don't make plans with them.
Yeah, I'm afraid of letting others close even though I crave their presence and friendship too
@@normalguycraig thank you
@@normalguycraig thank you for that.
I don't have friends-
i’m terrified. i think i’m a manipulator and i can’t even tell that i am when i do it. how do i change if i can’t even tell i’m doing something???