My journey has been a rollercoaster, thanks to you i'd like to say i survived it but to be honest i dont know if im out of the woods yet 😂 sure feels like something like that though but i dont know. Man i dont think ill ever be the same, but a different version I sure hope its a better one, I'll try to. Unfortunately seeing your videos on my feed kind of re ignites hope strongly which right now might do me some real harm after a very long time. I dont know how to silence your videos without unsubscribing because you ve been such a lovely person Lee, for now Id have to say goodbye, maybe I'll come back once in a while to say hi haha thanks man for everything and thank you for helping thousands of people through the toughest of times. Please listen to this guy! He's the bomb!💣😂❤️🩹 See you on the other side!
My spouse left me and says she filing for a divorce. This is after I finally realized that I’ve been being emotionally abused for the last 7 years and started calling her out on it. All of my feelings of feeling like I was going crazy, never receiving and apology without her withdrawing, anxiety I’d never had before, feeling like I was less than a man (feeling castrated) always feeling like I was to blame for everything etc. I finally realized all these feelings were the result of emotional abuse. I have very mixed feelings right now. I’m a Christian and do not believe that even me filing for a divorce, much less HER, is biblical grounds for divorce. I don’t want to be around her so I can heal and learn how to set boundaries for myself but also want to let God work on this mess and not get in HIS way. It’s so confusing.
God does not allow room for abuse of any kind. He, most of all, wants you to be healthy and happy. Let her go honorably and amicably, and then move forward. Get therapy to heal. Likely, some of her concerns were legit, but she crossed the line trying to deal with it. Your responses may have been so defensive she felt you weren’t understanding her, that you were just in denial and refusing to accept responsibility so she became way too intense trying to get through to you. She obviously needs therapy too. Just know that you can get through this and with help, you will be a great partner next time. Joy awaits.
I am in a divorce process. I said what you told from min 1:57 - 2:18 without success, maybe was too late, she is so sure about the divorce and We have had this type of conversation before...
I broke up with my girlfriend of 10 months because I was not sure of my feelings and I had lost some attraction as well as interning abroad being 6 hours ahead. After a month I realized I’d made a mistake and reached out to her saying so. She was open to talking and said that we can revisit the idea when I return (2 months later) because I couldn’t prove I’ve changed being away. I return in a week and I messaged her asking if we could talk when I get back and she responded a day later with her saying she’s thought about it during the past month and she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to talk because she’s in a good place and doesn’t want to risk it. She said she has no bad feelings towards me and hope I can see where she is coming from. She said it wasn’t easy for her but feels confident on this decision. She said to then have a good last semester. Should I respond?
So listen Coach, I am kind of confused again. At the part where you said you that you shouldn't leave, because you don't want them to have relief etc., isn't that the opposite of what's supposed to happen?? Why is it different for a spouse vs an ex? Like if you don't want your spouse to experience that, why is it necessary for an ex to? Thank you for your information as always!
An ex doesn’t share a household, children, home, etc. Plus an ex would leave your life. You wouldn’t be the one walking away (unless you lived with them and they owned the house or paid the rent). If you are married, it’s their free will to leave you, but unless they do that, I suggest you stay. It’s a different situation.
I want the divorce because of his cheating and the fact he monkey branched to the other woman. They are sleeping together and in some kind of relationship 12wks post separation. She has taken my place. I am repulsed by them. I see him differently now. I love him but he isn't chasing me either. I'm sad.
I agree with all you are saying, but I have a problem hoping for consideration once the asking for the divorce has happened. The relationship would seem arkward and the future will seem unsure somehow, given the fact that this decision took some time to reach.
Wife dropped it on me... Claims I had "emotional affair"... I did not but she refuses to see it any other way. My 22 yr old daughter had a severe breakdown and had to enter a facility for addiction. During that time my mom also passed so I sunk my not dark depression. I think any loving father/son would get depressed like I did. During that time I ended up naturally talking to my ex (daughter's mom). It was 100% exclusively about daughters condition or mom's death but current wife hated that I spoke to ex. There was never talk of being unfaithful, etc. The discussion was always about my mom passing or daughter in rehab. Nonetheless, my current wife never forgave me for it. To this day. She throws it in my face almost weekly says we arent growing as a couple and threatens divorce. She can't seem to forgive or get past it.
Um your wife is a dope. It’s awesome that you can talk to your ex wife. Especially since you have a daughter. Forgave your? For what? Why don’t you surprise her and go file. She sounds like a control freak and jealous of your ex. That alone will sink your marriage. Sorry you’re dealing with that and best of luck going forward.
@@maureenmurphy6692 Thank you for taking the time to write. I don't disagree with you. I didn't realize talking to my ex about daughter going through rehab or talking about my mom passing away was considered an emotional affair. Some people claim that I did have an emotional affair, because any discussion you have where you open up and are emotionally vulnerable is considered wrong. I just didn't know that. I think a lot has to do with how confident you are as a person, too. If you are jealous and have low self-esteem then you're likely to get upset easily.
@@ctgeorgia an emotional affair is when you are in love with the other person. You pretty much do everything except have sex. It’s constant texting, calls in SECRET . Love bombing the other person, even meeting in secret for lunches or dinners. You DID NOT have an emotional affair. It’s actually a ridiculous assertion. She needs therapy because for her to go there like that, something isn’t right.
@@maureenmurphy6692 That's what I believed, too. I never once did anything in secret and certainly had no intentions of even remotely flirting. In fact, I gave her my phone so she could see all the messages! Nonetheless, I'm dealing with the aftermath and it's not been easy. Thank you though so much.
My ex girl reached out after 5 years of me going no contact to express how she regretted how she has acted for a long times saying she wanted to "clear the air" between us, and explained she left me for someone else and she should of been open and honest with me. Complimented me saying I'm an awesome guy and if I have questions now or in the future she will be there. Can someone explain the ambiguousness of this statement? Part of me wants to talk again but I cut her off and kind of ghosted her after that. Thanks for your insight.
If she reached out after all that time, that means she finally understood what she did wrong and wanted to apologize. Apologize for her own closure . I know because I did that with an ex after 10 years of not talking
@@alessandroduma1594 @xhango0kx thank you for your replies, I appreciate it. I think both of you are exactly right, I took it as being her being selfish and I'm not going to revive anything with her, I cut her off and it's going to stay that way. I was fine and moved on, and she made shit resurface in my head and it's basically just pissed me off. Thank you for clarifying.
Stick to no contact. Print the message, burn it, and change all your contact info. She is doing it for her own reasons. All you do it relieve the guilt.
Wish I didn't have to leave, tried for 8 weeks to stay in but her feelings weren't changing and she asked for space. Hearing that in this video has killed me :(
Been separated for 3 months, now my wife push me for divorce, the divorce process didn't get through last time because incomplete documents was presented. She got really upset and blamed me and blocked me on social media, should I just give up. I feel like i had zero hope but I still want our marriage of one and the half year to work out.
Marcus, you need to book a free discovery call with Johnny on my staff about my Relationship Reignite workshop. Do that here: myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite/
I'm in pretty difficult situation.. Me and my wife are living separately coz we are in a long distance marriage, I'm in the uk and she in the states, been together for 5 years been marriage for 18 months been sorting out visas and me moving too her but it's been tough and difficult.. We've been having problems for aboyt the last 7 8 months and 6 weeks ago she finally told me she wanted a divorced.. Got angry at her but told her I didn't want it, next day I apologised for getting angry at her, but now I've gone NC since then, just watch your video and I'm now worried that I might have made a big mistake going NC worried I might being actually pushing her aways even more, any advise
what if your spouse is still being a jerk about business matters how can i have peaceful interactions when he won’t cooperate it’s like he’s trying to hurt me even more even though he left?
Is my chance gone post 3 months after breakup and 1month into NC ? i begged and pleded in the start and send her roses twice.. i know its bad, she responded few times, saying she felt bad for not responding and this was really hard for heraswell then 1 month ago told me to stop texting her and force my self to move on, that she just coulndt anymore and she have been staying with me for a long time cuz she loved me but wasnt happy and waited for me to change, now she just had enough, she say she still loves me but she know that we not going to be together.. this is 4.5 years together living for 4 of them, talked kids mariged etc..
TheOstekaj, I am sorry to hear that, but at least you both have deep feelings. I recommend Coach Lee's mini course which will help you immensely. MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis Please click onto this link, and best wishes to both of you.
Lemme tell you my story short and tell me if the no contact is what I need to follow to get him back or not. We’ve been in a relationship for over a year. Was a beautiful year my ex also cherished every single moment with me. He never wanted to let me go we were gf and bf. one time I tried to leave him but he stopped me after a week he said it’s about time we separate because I was hurt after finding out he cheated on me while he was with me. But we weren’t exclusive either but he gave me most of the time he had. I feel bad for few reason one I was discussing over text Another thing is when he said we need to separate I didn’t stop him I said I don’t know what to say All I can do is nothing but to agree. What should I do? Why I feel like I have better chance to talk this out than do no contact?
can you tolerate that he cheated you? He most likely will do it again. If yes, and he doesn't want relationships now, you should go no contact to at least understand what do YOU want. I wish you find a person who will treat you well
My ex abused me and my family. I didn't feel safe. I moved out. Sometimes I missed him and had this wishful thinking that one day he would act and treat me right. It hurts so much.
Looking for success stories gentlemen (as defined by getting her back) Currently still living together. Uncertain for how much longer. No kids. Cold distant interactions
Good stuff. Can you do a video on what’s going through my spouses head during no contact and how to build attraction if you separated and live in different states?
IF YOUR WIFE IS A NARCISSIST, ALL OF THIS ADVICE IS NULL AND VOID. You don't want to WAIT for them to leave, because THEN they WILL enjoy the trial separatation BECAUSE THEY WILL HAVE ALREADY built their new life. Women don't leave until they have the new life BUILT, and ONCE that happens, there not only is no chance of getting her back, but you're having a HARDER time building YOUR new life bc you know she's already with the new supply and having to battle those thoughts. BEFORE she's logistically ready, you DONT know if she has the new supply yet, and can build YOUR new life knowing she's at the same stage...zero.
You know what? This advice while good intentioned is just shit when you’ve given a woman your whole life and she just walks away after thirty years of marriage. I was left blindsided, although every video I’ve seen points to her having considered her position for months or even years. I only wish I knew the outcome when I first met her, gave up my military career for her, bought and paid of our home. For her. I would have run the other way.
My journey has been a rollercoaster, thanks to you i'd like to say i survived it but to be honest i dont know if im out of the woods yet 😂 sure feels like something like that though but i dont know. Man i dont think ill ever be the same, but a different version I sure hope its a better one, I'll try to. Unfortunately seeing your videos on my feed kind of re ignites hope strongly which right now might do me some real harm after a very long time. I dont know how to silence your videos without unsubscribing because you ve been such a lovely person Lee, for now Id have to say goodbye, maybe I'll come back once in a while to say hi haha thanks man for everything and thank you for helping thousands of people through the toughest of times. Please listen to this guy! He's the bomb!💣😂❤️🩹
See you on the other side!
My spouse left me and says she filing for a divorce. This is after I finally realized that I’ve been being emotionally abused for the last 7 years and started calling her out on it. All of my feelings of feeling like I was going crazy, never receiving and apology without her withdrawing, anxiety I’d never had before, feeling like I was less than a man (feeling castrated) always feeling like I was to blame for everything etc. I finally realized all these feelings were the result of emotional abuse. I have very mixed feelings right now. I’m a Christian and do not believe that even me filing for a divorce, much less HER, is biblical grounds for divorce. I don’t want to be around her so I can heal and learn how to set boundaries for myself but also want to let God work on this mess and not get in HIS way. It’s so confusing.
God does not allow room for abuse of any kind. He, most of all, wants you to be healthy and happy. Let her go honorably and amicably, and then move forward. Get therapy to heal. Likely, some of her concerns were legit, but she crossed the line trying to deal with it. Your responses may have been so defensive she felt you weren’t understanding her, that you were just in denial and refusing to accept responsibility so she became way too intense trying to get through to you. She obviously needs therapy too. Just know that you can get through this and with help, you will be a great partner next time. Joy awaits.
This is my EXACT situation at this moment.
4:50 - Stop negative reactions... That's a good one.
I am in a divorce process. I said what you told from min 1:57 - 2:18 without success, maybe was too late, she is so sure about the divorce and We have had this type of conversation before...
I'm probably in the same situation.
It's gonna take months of work
I broke up with my girlfriend of 10 months because I was not sure of my feelings and I had lost some attraction as well as interning abroad being 6 hours ahead. After a month I realized I’d made a mistake and reached out to her saying so. She was open to talking and said that we can revisit the idea when I return (2 months later) because I couldn’t prove I’ve changed being away. I return in a week and I messaged her asking if we could talk when I get back and she responded a day later with her saying she’s thought about it during the past month and she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to talk because she’s in a good place and doesn’t want to risk it. She said she has no bad feelings towards me and hope I can see where she is coming from. She said it wasn’t easy for her but feels confident on this decision. She said to then have a good last semester. Should I respond?
So listen Coach, I am kind of confused again. At the part where you said you that you shouldn't leave, because you don't want them to have relief etc., isn't that the opposite of what's supposed to happen?? Why is it different for a spouse vs an ex? Like if you don't want your spouse to experience that, why is it necessary for an ex to? Thank you for your information as always!
An ex doesn’t share a household, children, home, etc. Plus an ex would leave your life. You wouldn’t be the one walking away (unless you lived with them and they owned the house or paid the rent). If you are married, it’s their free will to leave you, but unless they do that, I suggest you stay. It’s a different situation.
@@RealCoachLee Got it, that makes sense!! And I hope you remember me, I am the one who made a different comment one of your videos the other day!! 😊🌷
I want the divorce because of his cheating and the fact he monkey branched to the other woman. They are sleeping together and in some kind of relationship 12wks post separation. She has taken my place. I am repulsed by them. I see him differently now. I love him but he isn't chasing me either. I'm sad.
That’s a crossed boundary that one should forgive and never take them back . Ever !
Go! Go and find joy again!!
I agree with all you are saying, but I have a problem hoping for consideration once the asking for the divorce has happened. The relationship would seem arkward and the future will seem unsure somehow, given the fact that this decision took some time to reach.
I wish I saw this video before 😊. But now it's too late as he is living peacefully with his new someone. 😊
You really needed to have made that 'dont leave' point earlier in a lot of other videos. Every other time youve said give them the separation.
Wife dropped it on me...
Claims I had "emotional affair"...
I did not but she refuses to see it any other way. My 22 yr old daughter had a severe breakdown and had to enter a facility for addiction. During that time my mom also passed so I sunk my not dark depression. I think any loving father/son would get depressed like I did. During that time I ended up naturally talking to my ex (daughter's mom). It was 100% exclusively about daughters condition or mom's death but current wife hated that I spoke to ex. There was never talk of being unfaithful, etc. The discussion was always about my mom passing or daughter in rehab. Nonetheless, my current wife never forgave me for it. To this day. She throws it in my face almost weekly says we arent growing as a couple and threatens divorce. She can't seem to forgive or get past it.
Um your wife is a dope. It’s awesome that you can talk to your ex wife. Especially since you have a daughter. Forgave your? For what? Why don’t you surprise her and go file. She sounds like a control freak and jealous of your ex. That alone will sink your marriage. Sorry you’re dealing with that and best of luck going forward.
@@maureenmurphy6692 Thank you for taking the time to write. I don't disagree with you. I didn't realize talking to my ex about daughter going through rehab or talking about my mom passing away was considered an emotional affair. Some people claim that I did have an emotional affair, because any discussion you have where you open up and are emotionally vulnerable is considered wrong. I just didn't know that. I think a lot has to do with how confident you are as a person, too. If you are jealous and have low self-esteem then you're likely to get upset easily.
@@ctgeorgia an emotional affair is when you are in love with the other person. You pretty much do everything except have sex. It’s constant texting, calls in SECRET . Love bombing the other person, even meeting in secret for lunches or dinners. You DID NOT have an emotional affair. It’s actually a ridiculous assertion. She needs therapy because for her to go there like that, something isn’t right.
@@maureenmurphy6692 That's what I believed, too. I never once did anything in secret and certainly had no intentions of even remotely flirting. In fact, I gave her my phone so she could see all the messages! Nonetheless, I'm dealing with the aftermath and it's not been easy. Thank you though so much.
Heartwarming, beautiful words👍❤️🌹
But if she’s asking for space do I need to leave her alone for a week or so or do I need to try and send positive messages in the meantime?
Give her space and time this is critical!… Her asking for space is actually good, she could’ve just walked away without reasoning.
My ex girl reached out after 5 years of me going no contact to express how she regretted how she has acted for a long times saying she wanted to "clear the air" between us, and explained she left me for someone else and she should of been open and honest with me. Complimented me saying I'm an awesome guy and if I have questions now or in the future she will be there. Can someone explain the ambiguousness of this statement? Part of me wants to talk again but I cut her off and kind of ghosted her after that. Thanks for your insight.
If she reached out after all that time, that means she finally understood what she did wrong and wanted to apologize. Apologize for her own closure . I know because I did that with an ex after 10 years of not talking
@@alessandroduma1594 @xhango0kx thank you for your replies, I appreciate it. I think both of you are exactly right, I took it as being her being selfish and I'm not going to revive anything with her, I cut her off and it's going to stay that way. I was fine and moved on, and she made shit resurface in my head and it's basically just pissed me off. Thank you for clarifying.
Stick to no contact. Print the message, burn it, and change all your contact info. She is doing it for her own reasons. All you do it relieve the guilt.
the grass wasnt greener
She got in an argument with the new dude thats all
Wish I didn't have to leave, tried for 8 weeks to stay in but her feelings weren't changing and she asked for space. Hearing that in this video has killed me :(
Been separated for 3 months, now my wife push me for divorce, the divorce process didn't get through last time because incomplete documents was presented. She got really upset and blamed me and blocked me on social media, should I just give up. I feel like i had zero hope but I still want our marriage of one and the half year to work out.
Brandon, you should start with my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
What if your wife has blocked you from contact , been separated for 10 months and hasn't sent divorce papers or will talk to me
Marcus, you need to book a free discovery call with Johnny on my staff about my Relationship Reignite workshop. Do that here: myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite/
I'm in pretty difficult situation.. Me and my wife are living separately coz we are in a long distance marriage, I'm in the uk and she in the states, been together for 5 years been marriage for 18 months been sorting out visas and me moving too her but it's been tough and difficult.. We've been having problems for aboyt the last 7 8 months and 6 weeks ago she finally told me she wanted a divorced.. Got angry at her but told her I didn't want it, next day I apologised for getting angry at her, but now I've gone NC since then, just watch your video and I'm now worried that I might have made a big mistake going NC worried I might being actually pushing her aways even more, any advise
what if your spouse is still being a jerk about business matters how can i have peaceful interactions when he won’t cooperate it’s like he’s trying to hurt me even more even though he left?
Mine said today she doesn't think she can be my wife right now, maybe later.. also she is scared to lose me out of her life.. I don't get it
Is my chance gone post 3 months after breakup and 1month into NC ? i begged and pleded in the start and send her roses twice.. i know its bad, she responded few times, saying she felt bad for not responding and this was really hard for heraswell then 1 month ago told me to stop texting her and force my self to move on, that she just coulndt anymore and she have been staying with me for a long time cuz she loved me but wasnt happy and waited for me to change, now she just had enough, she say she still loves me but she know that we not going to be together.. this is 4.5 years together living for 4 of them, talked kids mariged etc..
TheOstekaj, I am sorry to hear that, but at least you both have deep feelings. I recommend Coach Lee's mini course which will help you immensely. MyExBackCoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis
Please click onto this link, and best wishes to both of you.
My husband filed for a divorce 1 year before and we are in no contact ,he hates me and ready to get married again ,what should i do?
Start with getting my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
They said it's because of them and they still Love me 😮😢Won't talk to me about. Told my sister Iam draining. I have really bad anxiety
Does pain medication cause her to be emotionless towards me. She broke up with me after a surgery
Meds, birth control, and other things can cause her to respond to and treat you differently.
Lemme tell you my story short and tell me if the no contact is what I need to follow to get him back or not.
We’ve been in a relationship for over a year. Was a beautiful year my ex also cherished every single moment with me. He never wanted to let me go we were gf and bf. one time I tried to leave him but he stopped me after a week he said it’s about time we separate because I was hurt after finding out he cheated on me while he was with me. But we weren’t exclusive either but he gave me most of the time he had. I feel bad for few reason one I was discussing over text
Another thing is when he said we need to separate I didn’t stop him I said I don’t know what to say
All I can do is nothing but to agree.
What should I do? Why I feel like I have better chance to talk this out than do no contact?
can you tolerate that he cheated you? He most likely will do it again. If yes, and he doesn't want relationships now, you should go no contact to at least understand what do YOU want. I wish you find a person who will treat you well
My ex abused me and my family. I didn't feel safe. I moved out. Sometimes I missed him and had this wishful thinking that one day he would act and treat me right. It hurts so much.
I feel your pain
Looking for success stories gentlemen (as defined by getting her back)
Currently still living together. Uncertain for how much longer. No kids. Cold distant interactions
Good stuff. Can you do a video on what’s going through my spouses head during no contact and how to build attraction if you separated and live in different states?
Did you get my free mini-course at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
@@RealCoachLee yes but you didn’t go over those things.
IF YOUR WIFE IS A NARCISSIST, ALL OF THIS ADVICE IS NULL AND VOID.
You don't want to WAIT for them to leave, because THEN they WILL enjoy the trial separatation BECAUSE THEY WILL HAVE ALREADY built their new life. Women don't leave until they have the new life BUILT, and ONCE that happens, there not only is no chance of getting her back, but you're having a HARDER time building YOUR new life bc you know she's already with the new supply and having to battle those thoughts. BEFORE she's logistically ready, you DONT know if she has the new supply yet, and can build YOUR new life knowing she's at the same stage...zero.
You know what? This advice while good intentioned is just shit when you’ve given a woman your whole life and she just walks away after thirty years of marriage. I was left blindsided, although every video I’ve seen points to her having considered her position for months or even years. I only wish I knew the outcome when I first met her, gave up my military career for her, bought and paid of our home. For her. I would have run the other way.
you were too nice with no backbone. women dont like when you do things for them. do things for you and allow them to join if they please.
I think I need to give her this break up and experience it with no contact.
Hello is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not .
Jess-wk5jo, TO be honest, YES it is. Dr. Harris Jackson said that a lot of relationships are based just having fun together, and not based on sex.
I wish i would have seen this before she left the marriage. But its to late.i love her done ny best.she gone.
I dont know why im watching this i have no interest in trying now that he put that sh** out into the universe. It's not a matter of if but when.
My wife n me now separate she left me n with smiling n
My ex husband initiated a separation but I divorced him. I would never be able to deal with the pain of infidelity.
Texas has 60 days no fault
Marriage is a love triangle. Holy matrimony is another thing
What if she has been abusive? But then I get arrested for domestic abuse when I reacted one night. Time for divorce.
He wanted a divorce because I discovered his adultery affair.
Good for you 🎉