@@4bibimimi Sometimes I listen to these stories to remind myself that I’m in a pretty good situation. The only innocent person in all this is the child that came into the world as a result of this toxic foolishness.
My buddy did this for his older brother when they had fertility problems. The problems came after the baby was born when the SIL kept texting and calling wanting him to keep banging her. It ended up causing a divorce and my friend got blamed even though he never touched her again. It makes for some great jokes when we are out
Story1. This situation is 1 disgusting disgusting mess. The only one I truly feel bad for is the kid. He's going to have a father- uncle and a mother -auntie. Y'all might as well save up a trust fund for the kid that mostly involves therapy.
The people saying he should fight for custody...I don't know what country they're in, but the U.S. has a well-established legal precedent that if a wife cheats on her husband and gets pregnant, he's still presumed the father unless he contests paternity within a certain amount of time (depends on state). Her lover has ZERO say about his rights as the father (excepting the husband contests), as it's presumed he interfered with the marriage, and that the best thing for the child is to be raised in a stable environment of a married home, vs unmarried. BIL is a major AH for only thinking of himself and not what the kid needs.
@Gi Gi XO cut out MULTIPLE paragraphs that talked about how it was consensual IN THE STORY. Mark Narrations and Markee have covered this story, it was consensual and the brother was aware. XO is warping it to make it sound like assault, I'm unsubscribing because of this. I saw the original on Reddit ffs, it wasn't spite and he warped it so much.
yeah, the evil woman forced a moron to betray his brother. foh. if you don't want to knock someone up, don't bareback your brother's wife. i'd think anyone with more than one braincell would understand that. if he's that dense, maybe he shouldn't be allowed near children as he'd be a safety risk.
People grow up,and change, sometimes. If Grace has changed, that very nice. If OP wants to forgive her, again that's very nice. Forgiveness does not mean he wants to spend the entire evening on the wedding be paired up with her however. Just because you forgive a person for being a bully or abusive does not mean you want to be friends with them or have them in your life. OP hasn't forgiven her and only OP gets to decide if and/or when that is.
@@MrJpaynebb Also, it doesn’t seem like she’s changed much given how hard she’s manipulate OP to be paired with her despite fully knowing he doesn’t want to be around her.
Victim blaming is a very accepted norm...however distasteful and evil. Victims are asked 'what did you do to bring this on?...the friends trying to force it are the A-holes
Exactly and I guess most of the fools saying OP was the AH completely missed the bit where it's clearly stating this woman KEPT bullying and harassing him even AFTER school. The only one who didn't grow up was this trick.
@@ashh4929 BLESS you for saying that. I thought the exact same thing. Another case of “how many Reddit commenters have ZERO reading comprehension skills?” Syndrome. OP clearly stated it started as kids and went right through high school AND COLLEGE. With nary an apology. And if she did want to, but it never got that far because OP shut her down too quickly, then a simple statement from one of their mutual friend group like, The reason Grace wants to talk to you is to apologise, would have cleared that up. And if she wanted to be paired with OP for that reason, this is exactly the wrong way to go about it.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 For real right?! I was wondering too just where the usual Reddit "don't let bad people get away with bad things and assert your boundaries" went. Talk about hypocrisy at it's finest.
@@ashh4929 Interesting. I found the original post on Reddit, and found that the mods removed it for the following reason:” This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.” I wonder what’s going on.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 Oh really? (I don't have a Reddit account lol) I really hope that wasn't a B.S post because I still stand by my original statement in context to the scenario. If it is fictionalized/satire they should damn well be ashamed because there are people who DO go through cruelty like that, just to be brushed off and that isn't right. I'm not making assumptions at this point because clearly we don't have all the facts but if it turns out to be so, crying wolf like that is just sick.
He does not owe his bully any time and any 'opportunities'. And the bride is hell bent that this happens? Yeah, no. Consider staying at home, this has trap written all over it.
Yup. I’d have told them all to fuck off at that point. Real friends wouldn’t ask him to be miserable just for their “special day”-that’s kind of narcissistic and sadistic.
“Bullies in school often grow up” Did…did you miss the part where it continued through COLLEGE…? No OP is NTA for not wanting to be paired up with his BULLY. Op should calmly say to them “if you pair me with her, then i will not hold back to yell at her if she makes a single stupid joke” Op i’m really sorry that your friends suck but i wish you all the best.
I've been waiting on someone who actually comprehended the whole story! I tip my hat to you!! "Throughout college" she has not grown out of it and she likely never will at this rate. She's just a nasty person all around.
You are spot on will you statement. Might be time to reevaluate the friend group. This has been going on for years and it seems like no one has ever stepped up to the op's defense.
I feel that grace told the bride that maybe she likes OP so that's why she's so stuck on pairing them up. But yeah, OP is NTA, I think he dealt with it mature by saying if this is how it's going to be, then I'm bowing out of the wedding party and will be a guest instead
Yes, this. Also, if she wanted to make amends, she could have started by APOLOGIZING in that text. She didn’t. She acknowledged his feelings and then basically tried to manipulate/guilt trip/bully him AGAIN. And it’s not just a walk down the aisle. They’re paired off for a full two-day event. He’s not being over sensitive. He’s choosing to stay away from this toxic woman for a reason. And yeah, I do think that her behavior is some kind of bizarre attention-seeking behavior and she has some kind of crush on or obsession with him. How much do you want to bet that one of the “weird questions” she asked his girlfriends had to do with what he looks like naked? If a MAN did that to a woman, everybody would be talking about the crazy stalker vibes. I’d stay far away from her, if I were him. And the sad thing is that even if he does manage to get “reassigned” to another bridesmaid, the simple act of rejecting her so completely is likely to egg her on.
I was horribly bullied in school, so much that I still carry physical scars from their "tender mercies". Only one of them ever approached me and apologized for his actions, and I gave him a lot of respect for that. He turned his life around, got a great job, started a family, and grew up into a decent person. The rest of them, however... one dug his heels in so hard that he still, over 30 years later, refers to me as a gay slur to everyone he knows. Some bullies never grow up, and some get worse with age. Grace seems like the latter, as it sounds like she's trying to play a nasty prank on OP and make him totally miserable at the wedding. The bridezilla can go rotate, as well, for going along with that plan.
Nope, if you don’t want to have anything to do with that nasty woman, you have every right to avoid her. These people with the thoughts that their wedding is the only thing that matters. You have no obligation to a bully, people rarely change. If they keep at it I wouldn’t go to the stupid wedding.
Yup! OP is not allowed to hurt their feelings but they are free to hurt his? Fuck them. I’d bow out of that wedding completely and get new friends. What a bunch of BS.
Agreed the bride and bridesmaid insisting they be paired screams set up proving she hasn't changed. Don't do it if they won't switch. She said it's her wedding well it's the grooms too Bridezilla
The first story has been changed from when I read it. The op had originally wrote that OP, his brother, and his SIL were drinking and somehow it ended up with his brother watching OP and SIL together. I found it odd it's been changed to it was a revenge affair though a lot of the responses are based on it being a drunken questionably consensual one night stand.
Wait, revenge affair?? So, was it the brother(OP) trying to get revenge or the wife? I feel like that would skew things further. Like if OP vindictively slept with his wife to "get revenge on his brother", then that puts this whole "but I NEED to be your son's daddy, and in your face constantly!" in a whole lot more nefarious light. It would make the whole "I kept quiet during the pregnancy, until the kid was born" thing make more sense, but also make it more dirty. If he raw dogged the wife, and kept quiet about his suspicion until the pregnancy was "past the point of no return" and THEN dropped that bombshell on his brother, especially with the added "Oh, and I will be his dad", then he is a sick mother fucker who needs to stay FAR away from the whole family and I hope his entire family makes his life hell. Who the fuck sets up a kid to have a screwed up and confusing life, just for "revenge"? If it was the wife that did the revenging, then she is a dumb bitch. Don't shit where you live, and all. And in which case, she needs to back her husband instead of telling OP she sides with him. These 3 adults (or at least OP and the wife) need to stop being selfish for one fucking minute and think about how that kid is going to feel. "Hi 1st grade class on Parent Teacher night! This is my mom, this is my dad and this is my uncle-dad!". That kid will hear every version of Sweet Home Alabama that has EVER been recorded? How do I know? Because my son's father (my ex) did that to his 2nd wife, but fucking and then marrying her sister. The poor young woman grew up with a mom, an uncle-dad, a step-mom-aunt, and two half-brother-cousins. She's an adult and is STILL in therapy about it all.
I agree the first part is different. Originally it sounded consensual, and not an angry night of drinking then sleeping with sil. OP may be stuck paying support and a every other weekend part time parent, but brother will just grow and resent the situation, and how will they explain to the child later on why his step dad is his uncle, and uncle is dad. What's sil gonna tell the boy later. This will probably all end in a divorce and who knows op and sil may one day marry.
It’s just another case of Redditors with zero reading comprehension skills. OP clearly stated that it started when they were kids and went in right through college. With nary an apology. This isn’t a case of “this person was a jerk ten years ago, but not since”. Edit: Just listened to it again. Wow. Grace sends him a note saying she understands BUT…..still no apology, and blah blah blah….WOW.
YTA was probably NOT bullied in school, or was a bully themselves. Those are the kinds of people that put stock in the idea that bullies "deserve" forgiveness, your feelings be damned.
Okay to the person who's criticizing you for not wanting to be with your bully. Obviously you were never bullied in school or in your life. And please explain why the victim is always has to be the bigger person.
@@SnowyWolborg I'd say it's definitely typical of the contrarian redditors that look for reasons for NTA OPs to be TA. They reach so far their arms fall off sometimes or they twist the story until it's barely a resemblance of what was actually written.
The crazy thing is, imagine putting it into the context of a toxic/abusive ex. You’d never tell them to just suck it up and act like it never happened. And that’s essentially what a bully is, a toxic, abusive ex. One who gaslights you, isolates you from others, verbally and emotionally abuses you.
Title Story - So OP is bad and awful for conceiving the kid ... but the brother is totally okay with the SIL, his wife, who bonked his brother while drunk? Double-standards like this irk me right off 😤😤😤
@@bumblebee6310 it just feels weird the brother (while he did do a stupendously stupid thing) is being frozen out while the woman _seemingly_ is suffering no consequences 😒😒😒
That’s probably why some people think this was a set up for OP. Because the wife seemed to have suffered no consequences for screwing her husband’s brother as they’re knowingly raising OP’s kid as their own and freezing him out. That’s sus af
@@katyrye That would add to the theory that the brother was infertile, they both wanted a baby and so they manipulated OP into impregnating her. Pretty screwed up.
Bully story: Yeah, bullies sometime change, sometimes not, but even if such bully changed and wanted to make amends, forcing them on victim is not ok at all
I have a male friend who was living with his fiance (yes, he asked her to marry him after a couple years together, and she said yes and moved into his place) when she learned she was pregnant. As soon as she found out, she left him. Tried to ghost him, but it turned out his sister is best friends with the woman the fiance was discovered in a relationship with and engaged to her. That is how he learned of the pregnancy. He tried to reach out to her, she never responded to him. When the baby was born, he started sending $400 checks for child support. He had consulted with a lawyer on what he needed to do to protect his paternal rights. He wanted to be in his child's life, as heart broken as he was about the mother just leaving like she did. He came to learn, the two women had been in a relationship and engaged before my friend got together with the mother. She played along as loving couple until she got pregnant, and then left him to go be with her actual partner. The two wanted to have a child, and thought my friend was an easy target. It turns out, because he technically was a victim of fraud, that was a leverage he was able to use to get him shared custody of his daughter. And she turned out to be a super duper daddy's girl!
Story 1, pretty sure I heard this story before except it was "I slept with my brother's wife with his permission" instead of "I argued with my brother and slept with his wife". Everything else is exactly the same.
@@Bleg94 I have read in these comments that the mods closed the thread and OP changing the story which led them to believe it was creative writing could be why.
MAYBE Grace does feel bad about the past, but she’s going about it completely ass-backward. If she wants to make amends she needs to be the one to do so, not demand to be paired with OP and telling him to “get over it”
Bridezilla is really tell op to get over it just because it's her wedding and got mad that he told the groom the other important person in the wedding he's stepping down as a groomsmen to avoid problem. It telling that the bride ignored her friend awful behavior because she's just as bad to op.
Split everything (rent, utilities, everything) 50/50 and she'll be begging to go back to the $800 a month. She'll only pay $150 less in rent, but that will be gobbled up by utilities alone.
She should tell the roommate that if she doesn't want to pay that amount then she should ask what she wants to pay and if it's a stupid low amount then tell her to move because she is lucky to not pay a ton when she is only living there and didn't help pay for renovations like op.
How about he goes to the manstore and buys a new pair of ginger nuts. Then quit fucking around and call up bully girl and strait up ask her why she wants to be paired with him. Just cut out all the silly speculating and get an answer as to whether it is worth his time to go or not. Just cut the Gordian knot already.
I think Aaron wants op there and is willing to change things to have him standing by his side, but bridezilla won't listen because her dear friend wants this. She's also mad because op found the way out of her trap by just not being in the wedding party. Although, at the rate she's going, there might not be a wedding if she keeps being a bridezilla.
Ive seen the first story before. For some reason the Narrator changed the story. The brother knew that his wife and brother slept together. He was there watching. It was consensual all around. Now I do think he deserves to be in his childs life, im just confused on why XO changed the story.
it could be that it's just the version of the story they got. sometimes the same story is telephoned between posts. not saying it happened but it does rarely
I agree he should be in the child's life if the brother and SIL are okay with it, but not as a dad. Baby already has a legal father providing for him. OP needs to let go of that role and just be there as a support network.
@@FearMyLadyBits he doesn't have to do that. That's his child, he wants to be his father and he should be. The brother is an ass and the wife is even worse for allowing the dumb shit to happen.
Story1: Wow I can't believe that the brothers are even talking after that. And that OP's brother even agreed to the paternity test. Sounds like OP feel entitled to be a father and is not thinking about that child. Can you imagine how messed up that kid will be when he finds out that his Uncle is his father because he mother cheated on his dad? I say when because if OP keeps up these feelings he will find out and ruin his sons life.
So for the bullied groomsman story, the bride is quick to pull the "my wedding my decision" because OP requests not to spend two days being paired up with the chick essentially tortures him every time she spots him, for literal decades, but somehow didn't remember it was her wedding when Grace demanded to be paired up with OP? And NO, you do not owe people who do heinous crap to you an opportunity to make things right. You purposely and willfully do evil to people, you are aware the fact that you are ruining something and are actively risking burning a bridge. You don't get to dictate time limits on being forgiven, you aren't entitled to an opportunity to make it right when you deem it fit. Grace's so-called opportunity to "make it right" should have been attempted way before the wedding, she could have passed an apology letter through one of their friends or post of FB that she was a dick publicly to a friend and is apologizing publicly to make amends. And with this wedding stuff, Grace essentially doubles down by telling OP that that she "acknowledges" his feelings and tries to bully him into wedding compliance by guilting him. At this point, OP should agree with the bride that it truly is "her" wedding, and since he has the right to opt out as a groomsman, and isn't allowed to attend as a guest, he can find something else to do on her blessed day, and just send a gift in lieu of attendance.
@@shells500tutubo I was trying to be diplomatic, since OP is friends with the groom and the bride and Grace seem to be the only one pushing the agenda. He could easily buy a wedding that specifically benefits the groom.
What is up with that commenter in the bully story? Bully victim should never be expected to be the bigger person and make amends to their bullies, after the hell they been through? I mean did that girl ever apologize for her years of bullying if not then she has not changed. And it’s especially ridiculous that they expect you to put on a smile around someone who’s done nothing but hurt you. Reddit has the shittiest view I’ve ever seen on being the bigger person. Yes, I get people can grow up and change from being bullies but sure as hell does not mean you have to be their friend. I said this once before and I’ll say it again being the bigger person does not mean being a freaking doormat. Ingrained that in your head Reddit.
Lol seriously, absolutely insane to expect OP to just "get over" 20 years of bullying and be nice to someone who treated them like shit nonstop and is now using the bride to set themselves up with the person they bullied.
That whole family situation and story one, yikes. I think OP has somewhat of a chance given that a DNA test has been taken and proved that he is in fact the father so although the uphill battle is not going to be easy he at least has a leg to stand on. I do agree that this whole family probably needs a lot of therapy and they should start saving for when the child needs it to
Definitely sounds like ops brother and SIL planned this, how can ops brother be okay with everything and even still has contact with op something is definitely amiss, maybe ops brother is infertile and the parents know.
With the second story obviously you're not in the wrong here but it seems to me like the bride and the other bridesmaid or maid of honor is so used to having this got to be seen as the door mat when it comes to her bullying that he's like hey man put me with another bridesmaid I can't deal with her. The bride said no he went to the groom the groom is pretty much he understands but he pretty much is like I'm not trying to be on the wrong side of my fiance. Obviously you're not in the wrong but you need to take a closer look with the bride and ask yourself what is she doing and trying to force to be nice and respectful and play nice and put a smile on your face with someone who made your high school years of living hell and now wants you to deal with her again for 2 days I think it's safe to say where this is going
Bridezilla SIL sounds like the type to tell parents who to raise their kids while she remain child-free, but falls apart when she finds out how much work parenting is.
Story 1 - I'm glad OP had the wake up call he needed. To sleep with your brother's wife and then abandon your child.... that is one heck of a resume. No one can stop you being a parent. I grew up in the court system. My Dad was a homeless drug addict and he was NEVER denied visitation. All you have to do is go to court.
"I slept with my brother's wife now I'm throwing a tantrum because the brother I betrayed won't let me see my affair baby." Literally fucked around. Now he's finding out. Wtf did OP expect?
am i the only one thinking that op sleeping with his brothers wife wasnt an acciedent from brother/wife, that perhaps the brother had infertility issues and they wanted a genetic connection and op was an easy way to get it. because the way i see it the brother was no where near angry enough with both the wife and op after the results of the paternity test
On the yta comment for the bullying story. Yes some ppl grow out of it but she obviously has not as she is LITERALLY bullying him into something he clearly is uncomfortable and doesn't want to do. She and the bride are bullying him Into "getting over it" and this commentor doesn't see that????
1st story WOW y she even have that kid. Op get no sympathy from me. The only one who I feel isn't the idoit is op brother 1. he risen another man kid 2. he try to make it work with his wife. 3 he better man then me. 😤 If it was me I nothing to do with no of them n I confused with the delusional ppl how does it seem plan ........... I'll wait
@@bkjay20 he not, the mother is. Look at whole picture op brother has NO RIGHT ONCE AGAIN NO RIGHTS to the baby. The one every1 forgetting about it is the "women". This isn't a fight between brothers but mother n father. She was the one to stay with op brother. She the one who birth the kid with op. So how does the brother factor in be married to mother. Like I said op brother is the victim. His brother n his wife betrayed him n now he rising a reminder of that everyday. Because of his wife........ m I not wrong?
@@MrHelicx did we not read the same story. Because op clearly stated that his brother was the main one keeping the child from him. Go back and listen to it again.
@@bkjay20 so ur saying the women is just a puppet used by op brother no I m falling for that bull that women has a choice. And she choose op brother so it her who doing it not op brother. That just a by puduct n by u not Is acknowledging that u being sexist in my opinion. Any other time commentors would be goating the women to leave y not now. It solve everyone problem would it not.
Uncke/Daddy story- I agree that OP may have been set up to provide his brother with a kid who is biologically related to him, because most men would not have any relationship with a brother who had revenge sex with their wife that ended up producing a kid. Ginger story- OP is being set up. The bride is playing matchmaker and the bully is in on it. I bet OP has a lucrative career and the bully will accept Ginger that comes with green$$$. Baby wedding story- people are caught up in the irrational belief that the bride is the only center of attention at weddings. No need to apologize for granting the bride's wish to leave so that she could regain the spotlight. She probably hated hearing people ask where did OP and the baby were. Rent story- OP's friend is a roommate, not an adult child contributing to the family household. She should pay what any other tenant would pay. If she can't afford OP's rate, she can find something more in line with her budget.
Last story: I dont know why she’s so upset about the rent she’s paying. If she were out on the street she’d be paying 1500, of COURSE if you own you have the option of paying a more fair rate. Ask her if she wants to pay the price you gave her or you’d be happy to help her find an averagely priced apartment. Wtf?
The big thing OP's friend is missing is how much OP is going to have to pay every month. There's $500 towards the mortgage, utilities for two people (which can get up in the $200 a month range, easily, for water, electricity, and gas), insurance (easily $100 a month), cable and/or internet access (another $100 a month, there), and then there are taxes. Ohh, the taxes. So yeah, OP's friend definitely needs a financial wakeup call.
Wow I know it is 2 years old but I have just seen this. I would love to hear more about story 1 namely op complaining that because he pushed it to get visitation and whatnot he was taken to court for child support. Now that would make me laugh 😂😂😂
1st - OP needs a lawyer and to decide whether he wants to be a dad or not. Last - $650 + Utilities would probably be around $800 so OP needs to set her roommate down and explain that.
In the last story, don't forget that rental income is income and taxed so that $800 isn't $800 at end of the day, not to mention utilities, insurance and property taxes would push OP well over that extra $150 they are asking for. NTA. Friend is getting a steal.
How do you father a child with your brother's wife and then want to sue him for custody, what country is that, I think OP always had a thing for his brother's wife and that night was not the first and last time they did it, he wants his brother's wife, it's not like that's the only kid God or science said he would have, since he'd like to have a kid so much, why can't he find another woman to have as many kids as he wants, he just wants to ruin his brother's marriage, people have shower off their decency in this era.
I don't think he wants the wife, just his son. Also, they were only together once while drunk and high and haven't done anything close to that again since so there's nothing to say he wants anything to do with her besides being his son's father.
@@jedimasters1462 That's what he is posting and I doubt it is the whole truth, So they had sex just once and were that silly not to use protection or pullout and were also on the same page about sleeping together that very day, it sounds silly that a wife would sleep with brother in law on the very day her husband had the misunderstanding with brother in law, they were already sleeping together.
That whole first story makes my blood boil. The OP needs to straight up pack his shit and leave forever. He ruined that family and now he wants to further divide it by creating a years long legal battle? Why doesn’t he just save everyone time, money, and heartbreak, and just go away. He will 100% lose that case, and wind up estranged from his family anyway, so skip getting the courts involved and just go for his own mental health and that baby’s benefit. His brother is a D-bag for torturing him by dangling this chance but of everyone, aside from that poor baby, he is the greatest victim here.
The first version of the story was that Op and SiL had consentual intemacy while the brother watched them, because he also consented to it. No fight/no affair. Thats why many thought it was a setup from SiL and brother to get pregnant and that there may be infertility on brothers part. No idea why it changed.
Story 1, if I was op's brother I would divorce immediately after the affair. Then do a paternity test. If the kids not mine then I wouldn't speak to either of them again and I if the kid was mine, I'd pay child support and do shared custody but I definitely wouldn't get back together with the ex
So, did OP in the first story volunteer to pay child support? Or, does he just want the enjoyable parts of fatherhood without any of the difficult responsibilities?
Because it's his son.....? I have a cousin who's biological father is her uncle and her dad is her biological uncle, but her biological father didn't want to be her dad. While she and her family are good with how things are, not every father doesn't want to be in their child's life as an uncle when they really want to be the dad. Also, if it was a setup, with op proving that he's not just going to be on the sidelines, his brother and sil won't try to do it again if they want more kids because something tells me that the brother can't have kids of his own.
Actually the law considers that the child belongs to the husband, no matter whose DNA he has. People really need to think a little harder before they keep spreading their genes around.
That’s fucking stupid. All of these guys who get put on child support for not wanting a kid, but one guy wants to be in his child’s life can’t because the brother doesn’t want him to be. Insane!
The law is changing. If the biological father can prove paternity right away it may not matter that the woman is married, nor should it. The law was put into place so that "a married woman cannot have a bastard". To keep the state from having to raise the child. With a definitive way to prove paternity that is no longer an issue.
@@shells500tutubo that doesn't make sense, because if the wife's affair partner wanted to claim the kid, then it wouldn't be dependent on the state. It's just easier for the courts to decree that all children born during the marriage are a product of that marriage (unless the husband contests paternity) and the lovers are usually seen as interlopers anyways, who are already interfering enough as is.
@@patrikbengtsson3883 They're brothers, not twins. Even siblings will have something to prove which one is which as each sibling does get something different even with same parents. For example: one sibling can have brown hair and blue eyes while the other has blonde hair and brown eyes. It all depends on which gene they get. Only identical twins have the same exact DNA, even though they don't have the identical fingerprints. As op and his brother are just brothers and not identical twins, paternity is easy to determine.
I can understand if op was demanding something unreasonable but they are giving them no choice or compromises. They have to be paired with a person who has a history of being antagonistic to OP. Why?
Has Grace apologized? No, I didn’t hear anything like that in the post. It should not be up to OP to “get over it“. Grace wants to be paired with you so she can show everyone that you have both “moved past it.”There doesn’t seem to be any real remorse on Grace’s part, and the bride is only enabling her. You are under no obligation to ease your bully’s conscience or make her look like a better person.
Grace has always had a thing for OP. She blew it hig time and wants a chance to make him see her in a different light. Too bad it is a case of too little too late. Grace is still clueless or she woukd just come straight out, apologize and try to make amends without forcing OP into an uncomfortable situation.
Story 1: Wait a minute, this story sounds exactly like one from about a week ago. Except, in that one the OP and SIL got drunk/high and banged with the brother's permission. The first part has been changed but the rest of the story is a carbon copy
I could've swore there was a Springer/Maury episode of a threesome that resulted in a pregnancy, and they were just there for the results. The host kept trying to antagonize them, like "aren't you mad that she slept with your best friend?" And they were all "nope, he's an OK guy" and super amiable with each other.
Grace Is Lacking In Politeness: NTA. This sounds like one of those stories where somebody is attracted to a person but they don't know how to express it other than being mean to them, especially with how she would go out of her way to grill OP when he had girlfriends. If I was in OP's shoes I would send a lovely greeting card to the bride and groom with a pair of pennies inside and the following note would read: "I do wish you the best on your happy day, here's the refund of your opinion that I need to be made uncomfortable. P.S. I will not be attending your wedding."
Wait wait wait wait WHAT? I Heard this first story last week and the OP said his brother ALLOWED him to sleep with his wife.....now I'm severely confused
With the third story obviously you're not in the wrong here however the bride is one of those people who will tell you straight up it's my day and I want all the attention even if your baby was well being a baby it will take attention away from the bride. You know how it is it weddings if one ounce of attention is taken away from the bride the bride will lose her mind regardless if it was unintentional or not. Your brother of course he's going to take the side of his wife regardless. He's not mad at the baby but I think he's mad that his wife wants one ounce of attention and she's never going to let this go. Your parents obviously are going to take your brother and his wife side 100% so you might want to be prepared to go low contact with your family for a while because your sister-in-law is never going to let this go and you may have to be seen as the bad guy in the situation
Why the heck would you get that test? Can't he be happy as an uncle? You still get to be in the kids life. I don't think this custody thing is going to play out how he wants... He's going to destroy the relationship with his family, and the kid will probably resent him when he's old enough to know how messed up this all is.
No matter what, this poor kid is gonna need some serious counseling later on in his life. None of his “parents” seem mature enough to come up with a solution that won’t mess with their son’s head.
it's perfectly understandable to have this reaction as even OP acknowledges the shitshow that it was... but he has a legitimate right to be in his kid's life and i think taking the test was more of a just to be VERY sure kinda thing as all three of them knew what happened. ESH but everyone's reactions are understandable from the brother using the kid as a way to fill this new major gash in his marriage to the family siding against the odd man out because the husband took back his wife. while there are bad people in this story beyond the incident nobody is particularly wrong in their actions
The roommate doesn't understand that the OP is not just her roommate. She's a landlord now. With that she is the one liable for issues, insurance, property taxes ect. I know from experience that people often don't understand that you are the one that incurs all the expenses. Halfing rent is for roommates. Not the roommate landlord. There would be no point to renting to her if she was going to lose money. I can't tell how annoying it is that they want a low rent but also want all new everything. Like pick a issue. Pay more or expect less
And with the finger bully in high school. Why have we made it a profession to be a victim? Does anyone let anything go anymore? I find it poison to my soul to hold on to juvenile animosity.
First things first....the first story...how could he even have the gall to ask?!? Nta! But if you really wanted to be in the kids life you will do WHATEVER YOU CAN...
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Wow. Just wow. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE in that first story needs serious help.
You have to be grateful that you are not these people and do not know them.
@@4bibimimi amen
@@4bibimimi Sometimes I listen to these stories to remind myself that I’m in a pretty good situation. The only innocent person in all this is the child that came into the world as a result of this toxic foolishness.
@@bkjay20 i don't know if there's enough help out there for them.🤦
My buddy did this for his older brother when they had fertility problems. The problems came after the baby was born when the SIL kept texting and calling wanting him to keep banging her. It ended up causing a divorce and my friend got blamed even though he never touched her again. It makes for some great jokes when we are out
Story1. This situation is 1 disgusting disgusting mess. The only one I truly feel bad for is the kid. He's going to have a father- uncle and a mother -auntie. Y'all might as well save up a trust fund for the kid that mostly involves therapy.
They got him high and drunk, the couple set that up so they could have a baby. They basically rape him and if he was a woman ppl would be outraged
@@TH-hy9kr you're right but he is his own cousin. I only hope that such knowledge doesn't pass through the grapevine.
The people saying he should fight for custody...I don't know what country they're in, but the U.S. has a well-established legal precedent that if a wife cheats on her husband and gets pregnant, he's still presumed the father unless he contests paternity within a certain amount of time (depends on state). Her lover has ZERO say about his rights as the father (excepting the husband contests), as it's presumed he interfered with the marriage, and that the best thing for the child is to be raised in a stable environment of a married home, vs unmarried. BIL is a major AH for only thinking of himself and not what the kid needs.
@@FearMyLadyBits she didn't cheat, the brother watched them doing it lmao
@Gi Gi XO cut out MULTIPLE paragraphs that talked about how it was consensual IN THE STORY. Mark Narrations and Markee have covered this story, it was consensual and the brother was aware.
XO is warping it to make it sound like assault, I'm unsubscribing because of this.
I saw the original on Reddit ffs, it wasn't spite and he warped it so much.
She has to be "on her husband's side?" She sure wasn't on his side when she slept with his brother.🙄🤷🏿♀️
yeah, the evil woman forced a moron to betray his brother. foh. if you don't want to knock someone up, don't bareback your brother's wife. i'd think anyone with more than one braincell would understand that. if he's that dense, maybe he shouldn't be allowed near children as he'd be a safety risk.
“It sounds like a mess” WELL WHEN YOU SLEEP W SOMEONES WIFE-
Bully story: why are the bully victims the ones to forgive because they maybe grew up. The victim doesn't owe bullies a second of their lives
Because Reddit’s view on being the bigger person just means keep taking punches and if you lash out then you’re the idiot.
People grow up,and change, sometimes. If Grace has changed, that very nice. If OP wants to forgive her, again that's very nice. Forgiveness does not mean he wants to spend the entire evening on the wedding be paired up with her however. Just because you forgive a person for being a bully or abusive does not mean you want to be friends with them or have them in your life. OP hasn't forgiven her and only OP gets to decide if and/or when that is.
@@MrJpaynebb Also, it doesn’t seem like she’s changed much given how hard she’s manipulate OP to be paired with her despite fully knowing he doesn’t want to be around her.
The fact that non of the friend called her out on it is real telling of his friend group.
Victim blaming is a very accepted norm...however distasteful and evil. Victims are asked 'what did you do to bring this on?...the friends trying to force it are the A-holes
When someone is sorry, they - oh I don't know - apologize. OP should not have to be paired up with a life long jerk.
Exactly and I guess most of the fools saying OP was the AH completely missed the bit where it's clearly stating this woman KEPT bullying and harassing him even AFTER school. The only one who didn't grow up was this trick.
@@ashh4929 BLESS you for saying that. I thought the exact same thing. Another case of “how many Reddit commenters have ZERO reading comprehension skills?” Syndrome.
OP clearly stated it started as kids and went right through high school AND COLLEGE. With nary an apology. And if she did want to, but it never got that far because OP shut her down too quickly, then a simple statement from one of their mutual friend group like, The reason Grace wants to talk to you is to apologise, would have cleared that up.
And if she wanted to be paired with OP for that reason, this is exactly the wrong way to go about it.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 For real right?! I was wondering too just where the usual Reddit "don't let bad people get away with bad things and assert your boundaries" went. Talk about hypocrisy at it's finest.
@@ashh4929 Interesting. I found the original post on Reddit, and found that the mods removed it for the following reason:” This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.”
I wonder what’s going on.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 Oh really? (I don't have a Reddit account lol) I really hope that wasn't a B.S post because I still stand by my original statement in context to the scenario. If it is fictionalized/satire they should damn well be ashamed because there are people who DO go through cruelty like that, just to be brushed off and that isn't right. I'm not making assumptions at this point because clearly we don't have all the facts but if it turns out to be so, crying wolf like that is just sick.
He does not owe his bully any time and any 'opportunities'. And the bride is hell bent that this happens? Yeah, no. Consider staying at home, this has trap written all over it.
Yup. I’d have told them all to fuck off at that point. Real friends wouldn’t ask him to be miserable just for their “special day”-that’s kind of narcissistic and sadistic.
Like what's the goal of pairing OP and Grace up? To see if OP will finally snap and throw wine on her dress?
@@nightigal Bride may be one of those crazies who think bully = secretly in love with their victim/target and she wants to play matchmaker.
@@shammydammy2610 🤢
“Bullies in school often grow up”
Did…did you miss the part where it continued through COLLEGE…?
No OP is NTA for not wanting to be paired up with his BULLY.
Op should calmly say to them “if you pair me with her, then i will not hold back to yell at her if she makes a single stupid joke”
Op i’m really sorry that your friends suck but i wish you all the best.
I've been waiting on someone who actually comprehended the whole story! I tip my hat to you!! "Throughout college" she has not grown out of it and she likely never will at this rate. She's just a nasty person all around.
You are spot on will you statement. Might be time to reevaluate the friend group. This has been going on for years and it seems like no one has ever stepped up to the op's defense.
I feel that grace told the bride that maybe she likes OP so that's why she's so stuck on pairing them up.
But yeah, OP is NTA, I think he dealt with it mature by saying if this is how it's going to be, then I'm bowing out of the wedding party and will be a guest instead
Yes, this. Also, if she wanted to make amends, she could have started by APOLOGIZING in that text. She didn’t. She acknowledged his feelings and then basically tried to manipulate/guilt trip/bully him AGAIN. And it’s not just a walk down the aisle. They’re paired off for a full two-day event. He’s not being over sensitive. He’s choosing to stay away from this toxic woman for a reason. And yeah, I do think that her behavior is some kind of bizarre attention-seeking behavior and she has some kind of crush on or obsession with him. How much do you want to bet that one of the “weird questions” she asked his girlfriends had to do with what he looks like naked? If a MAN did that to a woman, everybody would be talking about the crazy stalker vibes. I’d stay far away from her, if I were him. And the sad thing is that even if he does manage to get “reassigned” to another bridesmaid, the simple act of rejecting her so completely is likely to egg her on.
I was horribly bullied in school, so much that I still carry physical scars from their "tender mercies". Only one of them ever approached me and apologized for his actions, and I gave him a lot of respect for that. He turned his life around, got a great job, started a family, and grew up into a decent person. The rest of them, however... one dug his heels in so hard that he still, over 30 years later, refers to me as a gay slur to everyone he knows. Some bullies never grow up, and some get worse with age. Grace seems like the latter, as it sounds like she's trying to play a nasty prank on OP and make him totally miserable at the wedding. The bridezilla can go rotate, as well, for going along with that plan.
Nope, if you don’t want to have anything to do with that nasty woman, you have every right to avoid her. These people with the thoughts that their wedding is the only thing that matters. You have no obligation to a bully, people rarely change. If they keep at it I wouldn’t go to the stupid wedding.
Yup! OP is not allowed to hurt their feelings but they are free to hurt his? Fuck them. I’d bow out of that wedding completely and get new friends. What a bunch of BS.
Agreed the bride and bridesmaid insisting they be paired screams set up proving she hasn't changed. Don't do it if they won't switch. She said it's her wedding well it's the grooms too Bridezilla
Grace can ride a broom straight to Satan's doorstep
hey come on, the bride clearly cares about the bully's guilt conscious
The only thing she doesn't care about is ver husband's imput and OP
The first story has been changed from when I read it. The op had originally wrote that OP, his brother, and his SIL were drinking and somehow it ended up with his brother watching OP and SIL together. I found it odd it's been changed to it was a revenge affair though a lot of the responses are based on it being a drunken questionably consensual one night stand.
XO cuts out important context a LOT.
Wait, revenge affair?? So, was it the brother(OP) trying to get revenge or the wife? I feel like that would skew things further. Like if OP vindictively slept with his wife to "get revenge on his brother", then that puts this whole "but I NEED to be your son's daddy, and in your face constantly!" in a whole lot more nefarious light. It would make the whole "I kept quiet during the pregnancy, until the kid was born" thing make more sense, but also make it more dirty. If he raw dogged the wife, and kept quiet about his suspicion until the pregnancy was "past the point of no return" and THEN dropped that bombshell on his brother, especially with the added "Oh, and I will be his dad", then he is a sick mother fucker who needs to stay FAR away from the whole family and I hope his entire family makes his life hell. Who the fuck sets up a kid to have a screwed up and confusing life, just for "revenge"?
If it was the wife that did the revenging, then she is a dumb bitch. Don't shit where you live, and all. And in which case, she needs to back her husband instead of telling OP she sides with him. These 3 adults (or at least OP and the wife) need to stop being selfish for one fucking minute and think about how that kid is going to feel. "Hi 1st grade class on Parent Teacher night! This is my mom, this is my dad and this is my uncle-dad!". That kid will hear every version of Sweet Home Alabama that has EVER been recorded? How do I know? Because my son's father (my ex) did that to his 2nd wife, but fucking and then marrying her sister. The poor young woman grew up with a mom, an uncle-dad, a step-mom-aunt, and two half-brother-cousins. She's an adult and is STILL in therapy about it all.
Are you sure that's the same story? I think there's previously been another similar story to this one.
@@Raigius it's the same story, word for word
I agree the first part is different. Originally it sounded consensual, and not an angry night of drinking then sleeping with sil. OP may be stuck paying support and a every other weekend part time parent, but brother will just grow and resent the situation, and how will they explain to the child later on why his step dad is his uncle, and uncle is dad. What's sil gonna tell the boy later. This will probably all end in a divorce and who knows op and sil may one day marry.
Groomsman Story: NTA. The YTA commenter is the asshole. Op shouldn't deal with a person who made his life miserable.
I bet the YTA commenter was Grace lol
It’s just another case of Redditors with zero reading comprehension skills. OP clearly stated that it started when they were kids and went in right through college. With nary an apology. This isn’t a case of “this person was a jerk ten years ago, but not since”.
Edit: Just listened to it again. Wow. Grace sends him a note saying she understands BUT…..still no apology, and blah blah blah….WOW.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 As they say in Game of Thrones: Every word before "but" is horse$hit
@@SnowyWolborg Or she's planning something to really hurt him...
YTA was probably NOT bullied in school, or was a bully themselves. Those are the kinds of people that put stock in the idea that bullies "deserve" forgiveness, your feelings be damned.
Okay to the person who's criticizing you for not wanting to be with your bully. Obviously you were never bullied in school or in your life. And please explain why the victim is always has to be the bigger person.
@@SnowyWolborg I'd say it's definitely typical of the contrarian redditors that look for reasons for NTA OPs to be TA. They reach so far their arms fall off sometimes or they twist the story until it's barely a resemblance of what was actually written.
The crazy thing is, imagine putting it into the context of a toxic/abusive ex. You’d never tell them to just suck it up and act like it never happened. And that’s essentially what a bully is, a toxic, abusive ex. One who gaslights you, isolates you from others, verbally and emotionally abuses you.
Title Story - So OP is bad and awful for conceiving the kid ... but the brother is totally okay with the SIL, his wife, who bonked his brother while drunk? Double-standards like this irk me right off 😤😤😤
I agree. He should've filled for divorce. I probably would have
@@bumblebee6310 it just feels weird the brother (while he did do a stupendously stupid thing) is being frozen out while the woman _seemingly_ is suffering no consequences 😒😒😒
That’s probably why some people think this was a set up for OP. Because the wife seemed to have suffered no consequences for screwing her husband’s brother as they’re knowingly raising OP’s kid as their own and freezing him out. That’s sus af
@@katyrye That would add to the theory that the brother was infertile, they both wanted a baby and so they manipulated OP into impregnating her. Pretty screwed up.
@@katyrye wait WHAT?! If you have the link could you please share it cos THAT turns the whole thing into a set-up! 😵😵😵
Bully story: Yeah, bullies sometime change, sometimes not, but even if such bully changed and wanted to make amends, forcing them on victim is not ok at all
I have a male friend who was living with his fiance (yes, he asked her to marry him after a couple years together, and she said yes and moved into his place) when she learned she was pregnant. As soon as she found out, she left him. Tried to ghost him, but it turned out his sister is best friends with the woman the fiance was discovered in a relationship with and engaged to her.
That is how he learned of the pregnancy. He tried to reach out to her, she never responded to him. When the baby was born, he started sending $400 checks for child support. He had consulted with a lawyer on what he needed to do to protect his paternal rights. He wanted to be in his child's life, as heart broken as he was about the mother just leaving like she did.
He came to learn, the two women had been in a relationship and engaged before my friend got together with the mother. She played along as loving couple until she got pregnant, and then left him to go be with her actual partner. The two wanted to have a child, and thought my friend was an easy target.
It turns out, because he technically was a victim of fraud, that was a leverage he was able to use to get him shared custody of his daughter. And she turned out to be a super duper daddy's girl!
yep, that's obviously fraud, especially since he's paying child support
If Grace was sorry she wouldn't be pushing him to do what SHE wants? AND he can't ignore the PERSON HES PAIRED WITH AT A WEDDING!
Yes you can. You literally walk down an aisle and that’s it. You don’t really have to interact the rest of the night. Op needs to get over himself.
Story 1, pretty sure I heard this story before except it was "I slept with my brother's wife with his permission" instead of "I argued with my brother and slept with his wife". Everything else is exactly the same.
Yeah this is weird?
Yes!! Ok i thought i was going crazy lol
same and I think they smoked some weed in the "permission" story?
so I am pretty sure it is "creative writing"
@@Bleg94 I have read in these comments that the mods closed the thread and OP changing the story which led them to believe it was creative writing could be why.
MAYBE Grace does feel bad about the past, but she’s going about it completely ass-backward. If she wants to make amends she needs to be the one to do so, not demand to be paired with OP and telling him to “get over it”
The fact that she never started any of the attempts at conversion with "I've been an asshole and I'm sorry, " shows that she isn't sorry.
And hoping their best friend's wedding will makes them on good terms and all the shit she done OP is gone with the wind...what world does she live in?
Bridezilla is really tell op to get over it just because it's her wedding and got mad that he told the groom the other important person in the wedding he's stepping down as a groomsmen to avoid problem. It telling that the bride ignored her friend awful behavior because she's just as bad to op.
It sounds like a hot mess? That's a fucking boat load of a hot mess.
It's a hot mess barge that is denied Port everywhere it goes.
The entire boat is on fire
@@alezot6141 And the fire spread from a dumpster on board the boat.
"Please pray for your brother because he has married a monster". Zing!
.... Wow. That title is a lot.
Split everything (rent, utilities, everything) 50/50 and she'll be begging to go back to the $800 a month. She'll only pay $150 less in rent, but that will be gobbled up by utilities alone.
Yeah, I was scratching my head at the roommates attitude, too. $800 a month with utilities included is a steal.
She should tell the roommate that if she doesn't want to pay that amount then she should ask what she wants to pay and if it's a stupid low amount then tell her to move because she is lucky to not pay a ton when she is only living there and didn't help pay for renovations like op.
Story 2 - OP don’t go. Just don’t go. They’re not your friends. They don’t care about your feelings and how Grace bullied you.
How about he goes to the manstore and buys a new pair of ginger nuts. Then quit fucking around and call up bully girl and strait up ask her why she wants to be paired with him. Just cut out all the silly speculating and get an answer as to whether it is worth his time to go or not. Just cut the Gordian knot already.
I think Aaron wants op there and is willing to change things to have him standing by his side, but bridezilla won't listen because her dear friend wants this. She's also mad because op found the way out of her trap by just not being in the wedding party. Although, at the rate she's going, there might not be a wedding if she keeps being a bridezilla.
@@jedimasters1462 Doesn't matter. Op needs to bow out.
Ive seen the first story before. For some reason the Narrator changed the story. The brother knew that his wife and brother slept together. He was there watching. It was consensual all around. Now I do think he deserves to be in his childs life, im just confused on why XO changed the story.
it could be that it's just the version of the story they got. sometimes the same story is telephoned between posts. not saying it happened but it does rarely
I heard the same other consensual version you did too.
I agree he should be in the child's life if the brother and SIL are okay with it, but not as a dad. Baby already has a legal father providing for him. OP needs to let go of that role and just be there as a support network.
@@FearMyLadyBits he doesn't have to do that. That's his child, he wants to be his father and he should be. The brother is an ass and the wife is even worse for allowing the dumb shit to happen.
Why should he give his bully grace?
Maybe she grew up? Nope to late
Also a wedding is not the time and a place to get over something
I haven't even started the video yet and the title story already has me on the edge of my seat
Story1: Wow I can't believe that the brothers are even talking after that. And that OP's brother even agreed to the paternity test. Sounds like OP feel entitled to be a father and is not thinking about that child. Can you imagine how messed up that kid will be when he finds out that his Uncle is his father because he mother cheated on his dad? I say when because if OP keeps up these feelings he will find out and ruin his sons life.
I think OP should have handed his SIL his baby and walked away. That way she could have all the attention that the baby was getting 😂
So for the bullied groomsman story, the bride is quick to pull the "my wedding my decision" because OP requests not to spend two days being paired up with the chick essentially tortures him every time she spots him, for literal decades, but somehow didn't remember it was her wedding when Grace demanded to be paired up with OP?
And NO, you do not owe people who do heinous crap to you an opportunity to make things right. You purposely and willfully do evil to people, you are aware the fact that you are ruining something and are actively risking burning a bridge. You don't get to dictate time limits on being forgiven, you aren't entitled to an opportunity to make it right when you deem it fit. Grace's so-called opportunity to "make it right" should have been attempted way before the wedding, she could have passed an apology letter through one of their friends or post of FB that she was a dick publicly to a friend and is apologizing publicly to make amends. And with this wedding stuff, Grace essentially doubles down by telling OP that that she "acknowledges" his feelings and tries to bully him into wedding compliance by guilting him.
At this point, OP should agree with the bride that it truly is "her" wedding, and since he has the right to opt out as a groomsman, and isn't allowed to attend as a guest, he can find something else to do on her blessed day, and just send a gift in lieu of attendance.
Send a gift?! Pfftt!!
@@shells500tutubo I was trying to be diplomatic, since OP is friends with the groom and the bride and Grace seem to be the only one pushing the agenda. He could easily buy a wedding that specifically benefits the groom.
@@chantalalexander No, the bride is also pushing the agenda.
What is up with that commenter in the bully story? Bully victim should never be expected to be the bigger person and make amends to their bullies, after the hell they been through? I mean did that girl ever apologize for her years of bullying if not then she has not changed. And it’s especially ridiculous that they expect you to put on a smile around someone who’s done nothing but hurt you. Reddit has the shittiest view I’ve ever seen on being the bigger person. Yes, I get people can grow up and change from being bullies but sure as hell does not mean you have to be their friend.
I said this once before and I’ll say it again being the bigger person does not mean being a freaking doormat. Ingrained that in your head Reddit.
Lol seriously, absolutely insane to expect OP to just "get over" 20 years of bullying and be nice to someone who treated them like shit nonstop and is now using the bride to set themselves up with the person they bullied.
Bully story. How is op supposed to ignore someone for a night.. if they are supposed to be paired with her?? Like what?
I would tell them if they continue to force the issue I wouldn’t go to the wedding full stop
@@joimumu honestly, same.
1) He can literally fight for custody for his child. He made a mistake and he’s trying to own up to it
That whole family situation and story one, yikes. I think OP has somewhat of a chance given that a DNA test has been taken and proved that he is in fact the father so although the uphill battle is not going to be easy he at least has a leg to stand on. I do agree that this whole family probably needs a lot of therapy and they should start saving for when the child needs it to
Definitely sounds like ops brother and SIL planned this, how can ops brother be okay with everything and even still has contact with op something is definitely amiss, maybe ops brother is infertile and the parents know.
With the second story obviously you're not in the wrong here but it seems to me like the bride and the other bridesmaid or maid of honor is so used to having this got to be seen as the door mat when it comes to her bullying that he's like hey man put me with another bridesmaid I can't deal with her. The bride said no he went to the groom the groom is pretty much he understands but he pretty much is like I'm not trying to be on the wrong side of my fiance. Obviously you're not in the wrong but you need to take a closer look with the bride and ask yourself what is she doing and trying to force to be nice and respectful and play nice and put a smile on your face with someone who made your high school years of living hell and now wants you to deal with her again for 2 days I think it's safe to say where this is going
Bridezilla SIL sounds like the type to tell parents who to raise their kids while she remain child-free, but falls apart when she finds out how much work parenting is.
Story 1 - I'm glad OP had the wake up call he needed. To sleep with your brother's wife and then abandon your child.... that is one heck of a resume. No one can stop you being a parent. I grew up in the court system. My Dad was a homeless drug addict and he was NEVER denied visitation. All you have to do is go to court.
"I slept with my brother's wife now I'm throwing a tantrum because the brother I betrayed won't let me see my affair baby."
Literally fucked around. Now he's finding out.
Wtf did OP expect?
am i the only one thinking that op sleeping with his brothers wife wasnt an acciedent from brother/wife, that perhaps the brother had infertility issues and they wanted a genetic connection and op was an easy way to get it. because the way i see it the brother was no where near angry enough with both the wife and op after the results of the paternity test
Some dudes are just weak my G
On the yta comment for the bullying story. Yes some ppl grow out of it but she obviously has not as she is LITERALLY bullying him into something he clearly is uncomfortable and doesn't want to do. She and the bride are bullying him Into "getting over it" and this commentor doesn't see that????
Always love it when the narrator chuckling over the stories
1st story WOW y she even have that kid. Op get no sympathy from me. The only one who I feel isn't the idoit is op brother 1. he risen another man kid 2. he try to make it work with his wife. 3 he better man then me. 😤 If it was me I nothing to do with no of them n I confused with the delusional ppl how does it seem plan ........... I'll wait
Oh so the guy keeping a kid from his father is the only innocent one in this story?
@@bkjay20 he not, the mother is. Look at whole picture op brother has NO RIGHT ONCE AGAIN NO RIGHTS to the baby. The one every1 forgetting about it is the "women". This isn't a fight between brothers but mother n father. She was the one to stay with op brother. She the one who birth the kid with op. So how does the brother factor in be married to mother. Like I said op brother is the victim. His brother n his wife betrayed him n now he rising a reminder of that everyday. Because of his wife........ m I not wrong?
@@MrHelicx did we not read the same story. Because op clearly stated that his brother was the main one keeping the child from him. Go back and listen to it again.
@@bkjay20 so ur saying the women is just a puppet used by op brother no I m falling for that bull that women has a choice. And she choose op brother so it her who doing it not op brother. That just a by puduct n by u not Is acknowledging that u being sexist in my opinion. Any other time commentors would be goating the women to leave y not now. It solve everyone problem would it not.
@@MrHelicx I never said that. EVERYONE IS WRONG! Op, the wife, the brother, and the family. Nice strawman tho.
When it comes to redheads, bullies never grow up, they just change their tactics. Of course, some of them never change their tactics...like my family.
Uncle Daddy story....
Reminds me of a song by The Parish Brothers called Uncle Daddy. Lol
BTW it is on RUclips.
May I say, after seeing the video with the tea pot time after time, I am fascinated with it and wish I had one. I like the cactus cup too.
The last story is why you don't rent with friends. They expect favors and to keep all their money.
OP, tell your friends there is no way in hell you will tolerate being paired with Grace. If they want to whine, drop out of the wedding completely.
Uncke/Daddy story- I agree that OP may have been set up to provide his brother with a kid who is biologically related to him, because most men would not have any relationship with a brother who had revenge sex with their wife that ended up producing a kid.
Ginger story- OP is being set up. The bride is playing matchmaker and the bully is in on it. I bet OP has a lucrative career and the bully will accept Ginger that comes with green$$$.
Baby wedding story- people are caught up in the irrational belief that the bride is the only center of attention at weddings. No need to apologize for granting the bride's wish to leave so that she could regain the spotlight. She probably hated hearing people ask where did OP and the baby were.
Rent story- OP's friend is a roommate, not an adult child contributing to the family household. She should pay what any other tenant would pay. If she can't afford OP's rate, she can find something more in line with her budget.
Op needs to take his brother and his wife to court. He is the bio dad!! Wife messed up and she needs to bite the consequences. Brother too!
That's the price you pay for betraying your brother. Leave them alone and let them be a family
Last story: I dont know why she’s so upset about the rent she’s paying. If she were out on the street she’d be paying 1500, of COURSE if you own you have the option of paying a more fair rate. Ask her if she wants to pay the price you gave her or you’d be happy to help her find an averagely priced apartment. Wtf?
The big thing OP's friend is missing is how much OP is going to have to pay every month. There's $500 towards the mortgage, utilities for two people (which can get up in the $200 a month range, easily, for water, electricity, and gas), insurance (easily $100 a month), cable and/or internet access (another $100 a month, there), and then there are taxes. Ohh, the taxes. So yeah, OP's friend definitely needs a financial wakeup call.
Wow this is the quickest I've ever gotten to a new episode!
I know ginger isn't a separate race. But the way literally everyone treats gingers, I honesty feel like it.
I’m so sick of people confusing bullying with annoying personality.
This is so middle school and we are talking about a wedding here. Grow up.
Wow I know it is 2 years old but I have just seen this. I would love to hear more about story 1 namely op complaining that because he pushed it to get visitation and whatnot he was taken to court for child support. Now that would make me laugh 😂😂😂
The rent is fair since op is paying utilities, insurance, taxes and repairs.. if she moves in get a written agreement.
@@SnowyWolborg And she already has a discount compared to the exorbitant rent in the area
1st - OP needs a lawyer and to decide whether he wants to be a dad or not.
Last - $650 + Utilities would probably be around $800 so OP needs to set her roommate down and explain that.
Grace is hurting her friends by insisting on walking with op
In the last story, don't forget that rental income is income and taxed so that $800 isn't $800 at end of the day, not to mention utilities, insurance and property taxes would push OP well over that extra $150 they are asking for. NTA. Friend is getting a steal.
1st story: sue for visitation and then he pays child support. It’s totally a plan by brother and wife.
OP 1, you CAN get rights by asking the court for visitation. But you are going to be destroying your family more than you already have
Bully story: that Yta commenter seems to have neglected the college experience explained in the story. How old are the OP and friends again?
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great evening
THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULDN'T DRINK!!
There is still no excuse for sleeping with your brother's wife.
How do you father a child with your brother's wife and then want to sue him for custody, what country is that, I think OP always had a thing for his brother's wife and that night was not the first and last time they did it, he wants his brother's wife, it's not like that's the only kid God or science said he would have, since he'd like to have a kid so much, why can't he find another woman to have as many kids as he wants, he just wants to ruin his brother's marriage, people have shower off their decency in this era.
I don't think he wants the wife, just his son. Also, they were only together once while drunk and high and haven't done anything close to that again since so there's nothing to say he wants anything to do with her besides being his son's father.
@@jedimasters1462 That's what he is posting and I doubt it is the whole truth, So they had sex just once and were that silly not to use protection or pullout and were also on the same page about sleeping together that very day, it sounds silly that a wife would sleep with brother in law on the very day her husband had the misunderstanding with brother in law, they were already sleeping together.
“I got into a fight with my brother while drunk n boinked his wife”… Drunk or not they both knew he was the brother not the husband. SMH
That whole first story makes my blood boil. The OP needs to straight up pack his shit and leave forever. He ruined that family and now he wants to further divide it by creating a years long legal battle? Why doesn’t he just save everyone time, money, and heartbreak, and just go away. He will 100% lose that case, and wind up estranged from his family anyway, so skip getting the courts involved and just go for his own mental health and that baby’s benefit. His brother is a D-bag for torturing him by dangling this chance but of everyone, aside from that poor baby, he is the greatest victim here.
Yeah. Just be an uncle. Instead you want to break your son's family up so that you can have your 'rights'. How selfish can you get.
The first version of the story was that Op and SiL had consentual intemacy while the brother watched them, because he also consented to it. No fight/no affair. Thats why many thought it was a setup from SiL and brother to get pregnant and that there may be infertility on brothers part.
No idea why it changed.
They set op up to provide baby juice
@@SnowyWolborg The mother is not blameless either. She's equally stupid, but that baby needs its mother more than it needs its uncle daddy.
Story 1, if I was op's brother I would divorce immediately after the affair. Then do a paternity test. If the kids not mine then I wouldn't speak to either of them again and I if the kid was mine, I'd pay child support and do shared custody but I definitely wouldn't get back together with the ex
Second to last comment on the bully bridesmaid story: spotted the person who wasn't really bullied in school.
So, did OP in the first story volunteer to pay child support? Or, does he just want the enjoyable parts of fatherhood without any of the difficult responsibilities?
He wants to be there for his child is also a valid reason, and a more likely one.
in story 2, we don't get to tell victims or perceived victims when to over or pass their hurts. He is not the idiot.
I am so happy that I do not know ANYONE like the people in the first story.
I would love to see the brother sue the OP for child support in the first story with update.
Why can’t he be in his son’s life as an uncle?
Because it's his son.....? I have a cousin who's biological father is her uncle and her dad is her biological uncle, but her biological father didn't want to be her dad. While she and her family are good with how things are, not every father doesn't want to be in their child's life as an uncle when they really want to be the dad. Also, if it was a setup, with op proving that he's not just going to be on the sidelines, his brother and sil won't try to do it again if they want more kids because something tells me that the brother can't have kids of his own.
Actually the law considers that the child belongs to the husband, no matter whose DNA he has. People really need to think a little harder before they keep spreading their genes around.
@@patrikbengtsson3883 the lawyer said maybe he can establish paternity. Maybe. Look up the definition of maybe
That’s fucking stupid. All of these guys who get put on child support for not wanting a kid, but one guy wants to be in his child’s life can’t because the brother doesn’t want him to be. Insane!
The law is changing. If the biological father can prove paternity right away it may not matter that the woman is married, nor should it. The law was put into place so that "a married woman cannot have a bastard". To keep the state from having to raise the child. With a definitive way to prove paternity that is no longer an issue.
@@shells500tutubo that doesn't make sense, because if the wife's affair partner wanted to claim the kid, then it wouldn't be dependent on the state. It's just easier for the courts to decree that all children born during the marriage are a product of that marriage (unless the husband contests paternity) and the lovers are usually seen as interlopers anyways, who are already interfering enough as is.
@@patrikbengtsson3883 They're brothers, not twins. Even siblings will have something to prove which one is which as each sibling does get something different even with same parents. For example: one sibling can have brown hair and blue eyes while the other has blonde hair and brown eyes. It all depends on which gene they get. Only identical twins have the same exact DNA, even though they don't have the identical fingerprints. As op and his brother are just brothers and not identical twins, paternity is easy to determine.
I can understand if op was demanding something unreasonable but they are giving them no choice or compromises. They have to be paired with a person who has a history of being antagonistic to OP. Why?
Has Grace apologized? No, I didn’t hear anything like that in the post. It should not be up to OP to “get over it“. Grace wants to be paired with you so she can show everyone that you have both “moved past it.”There doesn’t seem to be any real remorse on Grace’s part, and the bride is only enabling her. You are under no obligation to ease your bully’s conscience or make her look like a better person.
Last story OP should split everything with Taylor all bills evenly see how fast she wants that $800 deal back.
Grace has always had a thing for OP. She blew it hig time and wants a chance to make him see her in a different light. Too bad it is a case of too little too late. Grace is still clueless or she woukd just come straight out, apologize and try to make amends without forcing OP into an uncomfortable situation.
Homeownership has so many additional fees and expenses that new renters can be pretty clueless about.
Lol it sounds like a hot mess because it is one everyone in the first story needs therapy I honestly don't even know what I just listened to😅 😂
WHAT!!??? YOU SLEPT WITH SIL????!!! .... AND SHE LET YOU???!!! ... You can't make this stuff up!!! 😱😱😱
Story 1: Wait a minute, this story sounds exactly like one from about a week ago. Except, in that one the OP and SIL got drunk/high and banged with the brother's permission. The first part has been changed but the rest of the story is a carbon copy
What in the Jerry Springer is that title?!
I could've swore there was a Springer/Maury episode of a threesome that resulted in a pregnancy, and they were just there for the results. The host kept trying to antagonize them, like "aren't you mad that she slept with your best friend?" And they were all "nope, he's an OK guy" and super amiable with each other.
Grace Is Lacking In Politeness: NTA. This sounds like one of those stories where somebody is attracted to a person but they don't know how to express it other than being mean to them, especially with how she would go out of her way to grill OP when he had girlfriends. If I was in OP's shoes I would send a lovely greeting card to the bride and groom with a pair of pennies inside and the following note would read:
"I do wish you the best on your happy day, here's the refund of your opinion that I need to be made uncomfortable.
P.S. I will not be attending your wedding."
1. Your son will end up having resentment towards them when he finds out your his father.
Last story charge her less and then make her pay all the utilities
Wait wait wait wait WHAT? I Heard this first story last week and the OP said his brother ALLOWED him to sleep with his wife.....now I'm severely confused
All three of these adults are awful in that first story imo, but I think the sister in law is the worst after hearing the whole thing.
With the third story obviously you're not in the wrong here however the bride is one of those people who will tell you straight up it's my day and I want all the attention even if your baby was well being a baby it will take attention away from the bride. You know how it is it weddings if one ounce of attention is taken away from the bride the bride will lose her mind regardless if it was unintentional or not. Your brother of course he's going to take the side of his wife regardless. He's not mad at the baby but I think he's mad that his wife wants one ounce of attention and she's never going to let this go. Your parents obviously are going to take your brother and his wife side 100% so you might want to be prepared to go low contact with your family for a while because your sister-in-law is never going to let this go and you may have to be seen as the bad guy in the situation
Why the heck would you get that test? Can't he be happy as an uncle? You still get to be in the kids life. I don't think this custody thing is going to play out how he wants...
He's going to destroy the relationship with his family, and the kid will probably resent him when he's old enough to know how messed up this all is.
That’s his child. Why would he not want to be in his life?
No matter what, this poor kid is gonna need some serious counseling later on in his life. None of his “parents” seem mature enough to come up with a solution that won’t mess with their son’s head.
it's perfectly understandable to have this reaction as even OP acknowledges the shitshow that it was... but he has a legitimate right to be in his kid's life and i think taking the test was more of a just to be VERY sure kinda thing as all three of them knew what happened. ESH but everyone's reactions are understandable from the brother using the kid as a way to fill this new major gash in his marriage to the family siding against the odd man out because the husband took back his wife. while there are bad people in this story beyond the incident nobody is particularly wrong in their actions
He should be happy being an uncle.
The roommate doesn't understand that the OP is not just her roommate. She's a landlord now. With that she is the one liable for issues, insurance, property taxes ect. I know from experience that people often don't understand that you are the one that incurs all the expenses. Halfing rent is for roommates. Not the roommate landlord. There would be no point to renting to her if she was going to lose money. I can't tell how annoying it is that they want a low rent but also want all new everything. Like pick a issue. Pay more or expect less
And with the finger bully in high school. Why have we made it a profession to be a victim? Does anyone let anything go anymore? I find it poison to my soul to hold on to juvenile animosity.
The big brother in the 1st story gave his permission for his wife and kid brother to sleep together. 🤮🤢
Family couldn't find one person to babysit?
I just googled it, op in the first story is not legally that kids father. If the husband and wife don't want him to be a father to the kid, tough.
He can still sue for custody seeing as it is his child.
@@bkjay20 he can try, but the law is not on his side.
Absolutely not grace sounds horrible and toxic.
First things first....the first story...how could he even have the gall to ask?!? Nta! But if you really wanted to be in the kids life you will do WHATEVER YOU CAN...
[Reads title] Excuse me, WHAT?!