Are You Ruining Your Chances of Getting Back with Your Ex?

Clay Andrews discusses how to know if you are ruining your chances of getting your ex back.
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Are you ruining your chances of getting back together with your ex? Surprisingly a lot of people who genuinely want to have a stronger connection with their ex regularly do things that set them back.
Here are a few of the things you want to be careful of:
1.) Being in Damage Control Mode - After a breakup, most people are in what I call Damage Control Mode. This is a mindset where you are kind of freaking out and panicked and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
When you are in DCM (Damage Control Mode), you cannot do anything that will create a positive emotional connection. It just can’t be done. So the most important thing for you to do is to get out of Damage Control Mode.
2.) Keeping Score - I have never advised anyone to keep score over who is initiating contact. This is not important. But a lot of people, especially women, seem to think that this is a make or break thing.
Who is initiating contact doesn’t matter. What matters is the emotional connection. If you are connecting emotionally, it doesn’t matter who is contacting who. Simple as that.
3.) Prioritizing Your Agenda - You probably have an agenda of getting back together with your ex. However, this agenda is going to separate the two of you emotionally. And as long as your agenda drives your actions, you are going to have a really hard time connecting, which means you will have a hard time getting back together.
Instead, focus on the emotional connection because that is what is going to bring the two of you closer together. Let go of the agenda and let the commitment and relationship happen organically. Get curious to your ex’s experience and what is going on in their life and you’ll be miles ahead of anyone else.
4) Not Demonstrating Change - Your ex is not going to walk back into the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place. You have to show them that something is different. Ideally the thing that made them want to leave the relationship in the first place.
5.) Playing Too Cool - Mind games such as playing hard to get aren’t a good strategy for getting your ex back. Some dating coaches out there will advise that you do this. However, saving a relationship with your ex is very different from dating someone that you just met.
Mind games are not a great foundation for a strong relationship and they might just be ruining your chances of getting your ex back.