My RUclips channel. I have'nt been an active YouTub-er till the lockdown this spring when the platform reccomanded me a channel that gave me a big inspiration to take a new step ahead, but for me as an INFJ it's not easy to make people undertand my different aproach so I'll definetly need that „I don't care“ thing.
This video had a lot of very fine counsel and I appreciated it. I especially noted 2 things: 1. You encouraged us to ask how we can impress OURSELVES - rather than worrying about e anyone else first. 2. You told us that we periodically need to remind ourselves of this because it is easy to slip back into our old patterns. In fact, I usually have the most number of problems when I forget to do this. This helps a lot. One problem I had growing up was people gave me the impression that once I overcame my weakness and shyness, it should never bother me again.. At this point of my life, I see it as a vigilance. Consistent self examination is always in order.
A tricky dilemma for INFJs caught up in dealing with cluster b personalities (NPL/BPD). Being honest to one's self is the way out. The question is why do we react this way that masks our true expression within the world - spot on Wenzes early years upbringing leaves it's imprint and we have self-entrained to hold back. Moving forward is a process, can take time and effort to shift out of the action/reaction emotional habitual binds. Inertia comes from a position of personal protection - like being caught in quicksand ... the only way out is radical change - not to walk, but to swim. A bit of a manual for INFJs, is to understand the risks of trauma bonding, and the 'lazy' bit is as you say, not actively stepping out and away from that emotional world belonging to someone else's life journey.
Great topic and very well explained. This is very complex regarding INFJs and you nailed it. Letting go and not caring , whew, the bane of my existence. For me personally, it starts with anger, then I let go and do not care. But then a residue of something akin to guilt pops in later and threatens to pull me back in. I’ve learned this guilt is more existential in nature and has nothing to do with the external situation that “caused” it. Who am I now that I can so easily drop all the bull shit and move on? Did I lose a part of myself? Then I finally realized that I do not need to be perfect, now or in the future. I just need to keep fighting to stay on the path. Caring is a deeply interwoven aspect of who I am, it will always be with me. The emotion elicited from a given situation is a gift.. an alarm to remind me that I am not perfect, I do care, but I am strong. It has not derailed me despite all the pain from all the years of caring has caused. I will take it in, feel it, remember how inconsequential and weak it is compared to my will , then see it naturally dissolve. The person or situation that affected me fades to the background, and I continue on the path, perfectly imperfect. Feeling is just a part of my life that I have no control of, muting it makes me less, but experiencing it and remembering how it never is enough to conquer the whole on its own bravely retains the essence of what I call “me”.. and naturally causes the caring emotion to disperse into the sky with the next gust of wind.. This all happens quickly, within minutes. But as we all know, it’s a complex topic and experience for INFJs.
Kevin you are a beautiful writer. Even just beside the comment, I just genuinely enjoyed reading because of your style and flow. If you have a newsletter or blog, pleas let me know!
Wow I needed this video tbh I’ve been down for the past few weeks because I started sharing my photos on a Snapchat where I have ppl from my high school and some of them used to spread rumours about me. And it just kept triggering me but I also felt like I had to post there just to show I had a life and I realized I’m happier sharing my life with those that are close to me and I don’t want to be proving myself to anyone else.
Wenzes, i swear--i swear i was having this revelation prob ard the time you posted this video. I hv been been dealing with some areas in my body where there is myofascial pain and recognized that these are trapped emotions of resistance to pain ive experienced with ppl in my life. I started working on these painpoints last night. And i woke up this morning to do more work on them and it hit me. I have to feel the pain--not just the pain of the body, but the feelings behimd the pain as well. I started breathing into the pain and choosing to feel more, and more until there was acceptance and surrender. And then i realized that this process is not only helping me to forgive and move on, but building my emotional resiliency where i wont care if i hv ppl's validation anymore. I had moments where i flashed back to the sorrow of my childhood and i embraced the grief, bt also told myself "this is the past. You dont live here anymore. It is ok now." Thank you so much for this video. You are the BESTEST!😍😘😘🙏
Wow your words just made me realize about my people pleasing tendencies and what I need to do to be who I am and to love myself and accept all my flaws. Now is the time to stop caring what other people's opinions are about me because tbh it's suffocating me.
I have been doing this! Surprised to realize that I was not acting my true self bc of what others thought of me. More surprised to realize I had some bad toxic things about myself that I wanted to change!! Double score. Bc once I headed through that as well, it makes me feel more confident in standing in my truth and not caring what others think about me. Bc I am a work in progress and knowing this, their judgment weights nothing on my conscience anymore
Being dumped yes. I now am in a healthier place. I was able to say enough is enough. And No. I had to focus on what I need in my life. I had to tell someone I respected no I'm not going to rescue his bad choices. When I said his bad choices are not my responsibility. It was hard and now I'm better. I had to accept that I am valuable and worthy to be loved.
Wenzes you astound me. I am an INFJ who has made a career of helping others. Especially those people who are devalued by most people in society. I've been good at it and have been considered successful by those who know me. I have to say how much your honesty and personal courage continues to astound me. It makes me feel good that you are out in the world doing the things that you do and making a difference. You are the poster child for the Serenity Prayer. You have the serenity to change the things that you are able to change and your compassion and caring shines out of you in every video. Also, you're smart and so deep in your thinking that it boggles my mind at times. I just HAD to tell you how happy I am that you are doing the high-quality work that you are doing. You do make the world a better place for INFJs and all of the people who are touched by the ones whom you touch, So thanks for your hard work.
I really like this video. It coincides with what is going on in my life now. In what areas do I want to become less dependent on other's opinions in 2021 ? I have already taken action on that to get education and training on tasks that we do not perform at my current place of employment. I choose to become more proficient, certified, and overall smarter about my career field without talking with anyone about it. Because if I do speak of it with ones whom are not trustworthy, they will voice their opinions out of their own insecurity. Yet, I will march onward. Simply put, I want to be the change I want to see. Also, if I change nothing, then nothing changes. "The question is not, who will permit me. It is who will stop me ? " - - Ayn Rand.
Oh right, and with healing comes the blessings. I am healing and its amazing. I lived on my anger. Now, getting angry now gets a solid Yeah, No. its ok to be ok. Im saying this stuff as you its a wonderful world after all. Merry Christmas
Great video Wenzes! It's a great look at introspection, and how we have to fix ourselves and love ourselves first, before we can truly love others, and be loved by others. Because if you're not 100%, you can never let them in 100%...Therefore, they never really get to see or know the REAL you...Flaws and all. I'm there... I'm at that point. I'm just waiting on her...Whoever she may be. Just hope it happens soon, because another lonely year is coming to a close. I hope 2021 is much better...Then again, it doesn't take much to be a better overall year than 2020 was. 2020 will forever be a giant flaming bag of dog crap on the doorstep of history... But my personal 2020 was one of the best years of my life (not financially, of course, but it was MUCH better than my 2016-2019 was). I decided to fix myself. I decided to love and accept myself for who I am. I'm getting myself back out there, and rejoining society (I'm a bit of an anti-social hermit). Hopefully I'll find love in 2021. For the first time in a long time I'm actually ready to start a new year/chapter in my life. 👍🏼
Also how can we deal with people from our past that approach us and tell us so and so is talking about you. For me it’s easier when I live my life away from these ppl and I’m oblivious to what they’re saying about me but it kind of consumes me when someone points it out to me and tells me the details of what so and so has said.
In what areas do you want to become less dependent on other's opinions in 2021?
Wait one week ago?)
my art
My RUclips channel. I have'nt been an active YouTub-er till the lockdown this spring when the platform reccomanded me a channel that gave me a big inspiration to take a new step ahead, but for me as an INFJ it's not easy to make people undertand my different aproach so I'll definetly need that „I don't care“ thing.
yeah my dressing style and way of talking.
My sexual openness, my free spiritedness, and my cool brand of crazy
Wenzes gets younger and prettier with times. Such a proof of concept that she's thriving at this path she bravely carved for herself.
You are an incredible gift to us infjs (introverts) ✊🏻
This video had a lot of very fine counsel and I appreciated it. I especially noted 2 things:
1. You encouraged us to ask how we can impress OURSELVES - rather than worrying about e anyone else first.
2. You told us that we periodically need to remind ourselves of this because it is easy to slip back into our old patterns. In fact, I usually have the most number of problems when I forget to do this.
This helps a lot. One problem I had growing up was people gave me the impression that once I overcame my weakness and shyness, it should never bother me again.. At this point of my life, I see it as a vigilance. Consistent self examination is always in order.
I'm going through the not caring too much after nearly 44 years.
A tricky dilemma for INFJs caught up in dealing with cluster b personalities (NPL/BPD). Being honest to one's self is the way out. The question is why do we react this way that masks our true expression within the world - spot on Wenzes early years upbringing leaves it's imprint and we have self-entrained to hold back. Moving forward is a process, can take time and effort to shift out of the action/reaction emotional habitual binds. Inertia comes from a position of personal protection - like being caught in quicksand ... the only way out is radical change - not to walk, but to swim. A bit of a manual for INFJs, is to understand the risks of trauma bonding, and the 'lazy' bit is as you say, not actively stepping out and away from that emotional world belonging to someone else's life journey.
Great topic and very well explained. This is very complex regarding INFJs and you nailed it.
Letting go and not caring , whew, the bane of my existence. For me personally, it starts with anger, then I let go and do not care. But then a residue of something akin to guilt pops in later and threatens to pull me back in. I’ve learned this guilt is more existential in nature and has nothing to do with the external situation that “caused” it. Who am I now that I can so easily drop all the bull shit and move on? Did I lose a part of myself? Then I finally realized that I do not need to be perfect, now or in the future. I just need to keep fighting to stay on the path. Caring is a deeply interwoven aspect of who I am, it will always be with me. The emotion elicited from a given situation is a gift.. an alarm to remind me that I am not perfect, I do care, but I am strong. It has not derailed me despite all the pain from all the years of caring has caused. I will take it in, feel it, remember how inconsequential and weak it is compared to my will , then see it naturally dissolve. The person or situation that affected me fades to the background, and I continue on the path, perfectly imperfect. Feeling is just a part of my life that I have no control of, muting it makes me less, but experiencing it and remembering how it never is enough to conquer the whole on its own bravely retains the essence of what I call “me”.. and naturally causes the caring emotion to disperse into the sky with the next gust of wind..
This all happens quickly, within minutes. But as we all know, it’s a complex topic and experience for INFJs.
Kevin you are a beautiful writer. Even just beside the comment, I just genuinely enjoyed reading because of your style and flow. If you have a newsletter or blog, pleas let me know!
Wow I was just thinking about this last night. I want to worry less about pursuing what I love and being creative
Wow I needed this video tbh I’ve been down for the past few weeks because I started sharing my photos on a Snapchat where I have ppl from my high school and some of them used to spread rumours about me. And it just kept triggering me but I also felt like I had to post there just to show I had a life and I realized I’m happier sharing my life with those that are close to me and I don’t want to be proving myself to anyone else.
Wenzes, i swear--i swear i was having this revelation prob ard the time you posted this video. I hv been been dealing with some areas in my body where there is myofascial pain and recognized that these are trapped emotions of resistance to pain ive experienced with ppl in my life. I started working on these painpoints last night. And i woke up this morning to do more work on them and it hit me. I have to feel the pain--not just the pain of the body, but the feelings behimd the pain as well. I started breathing into the pain and choosing to feel more, and more until there was acceptance and surrender. And then i realized that this process is not only helping me to forgive and move on, but building my emotional resiliency where i wont care if i hv ppl's validation anymore. I had moments where i flashed back to the sorrow of my childhood and i embraced the grief, bt also told myself "this is the past. You dont live here anymore. It is ok now." Thank you so much for this video. You are the BESTEST!😍😘😘🙏
Wow your words just made me realize about my people pleasing tendencies and what I need to do to be who I am and to love myself and accept all my flaws. Now is the time to stop caring what other people's opinions are about me because tbh it's suffocating me.
I have been doing this! Surprised to realize that I was not acting my true self bc of what others thought of me. More surprised to realize I had some bad toxic things about myself that I wanted to change!! Double score. Bc once I headed through that as well, it makes me feel more confident in standing in my truth and not caring what others think about me. Bc I am a work in progress and knowing this, their judgment weights nothing on my conscience anymore
Being dumped yes. I now am in a healthier place. I was able to say enough is enough. And No. I had to focus on what I need in my life. I had to tell someone I respected no I'm not going to rescue his bad choices. When I said his bad choices are not my responsibility. It was hard and now I'm better. I had to accept that I am valuable and worthy to be loved.
It’s like Wenses is personally speaking to me in these videos. Thank you Jesus for showing md this channel!
Wenzes you astound me. I am an INFJ who has made a career of helping others. Especially those people who are devalued by most people in society. I've been good at it and have been considered successful by those who know me. I have to say how much your honesty and personal courage continues to astound me. It makes me feel good that you are out in the world doing the things that you do and making a difference. You are the poster child for the Serenity Prayer. You have the serenity to change the things that you are able to change and your compassion and caring shines out of you in every video. Also, you're smart and so deep in your thinking that it boggles my mind at times. I just HAD to tell you how happy I am that you are doing the high-quality work that you are doing. You do make the world a better place for INFJs and all of the people who are touched by the ones whom you touch, So thanks for your hard work.
I really like this video. It coincides with what is going on in my life now. In what areas do I want to become less dependent on other's opinions in 2021 ?
I have already taken action on that to get education and training on tasks that we do not perform at my current place of employment. I choose to become more proficient, certified, and overall smarter about my career field without talking with anyone about it. Because if I do speak of it with ones whom are not trustworthy, they will voice their opinions out of their own insecurity. Yet, I will march onward. Simply put, I want to be the change I want to see. Also, if I change nothing, then nothing changes. "The question is not, who will permit me. It is who will stop me ? " - - Ayn Rand.
I love this video Wenzes, it opens my eyes. If you really listen to this video, and I really mean LISTEN. Then you return back home, to yourself
It’s like a huge sigh of relief
Omg your talking to my soul !!!
Thank you so much Wenzes. You are a god sent angel. Your videos have been very helpful. Thank you so much 🤗
Amazing. I am in this very spot.
Taking care of my little me ❤️
Oh right, and with healing comes the blessings. I am healing and its amazing. I lived on my anger. Now, getting angry now gets a solid Yeah, No. its ok to be ok. Im saying this stuff as you its a wonderful world after all. Merry Christmas
Great video Wenzes! It's a great look at introspection, and how we have to fix ourselves and love ourselves first, before we can truly love others, and be loved by others. Because if you're not 100%, you can never let them in 100%...Therefore, they never really get to see or know the REAL you...Flaws and all. I'm there... I'm at that point. I'm just waiting on her...Whoever she may be. Just hope it happens soon, because another lonely year is coming to a close. I hope 2021 is much better...Then again, it doesn't take much to be a better overall year than 2020 was. 2020 will forever be a giant flaming bag of dog crap on the doorstep of history... But my personal 2020 was one of the best years of my life (not financially, of course, but it was MUCH better than my 2016-2019 was). I decided to fix myself. I decided to love and accept myself for who I am. I'm getting myself back out there, and rejoining society (I'm a bit of an anti-social hermit). Hopefully I'll find love in 2021. For the first time in a long time I'm actually ready to start a new year/chapter in my life. 👍🏼
12:30 i teared up a bit in that part. Thank you wenzes
BEAUTIFUL💖 Aka go towards what I fear because this is my path.
This is very helpful, thank you 💜💜💜
I deserve my own loyalty 👌
I'm so glad I discovered your videos. You are amazing.
Your videos are amazing.
Thank you for speaking.
This was right on time. Thanks Wenzes!
Epic video 😎
Thank you, Wenzes! :)
...pretty much me for years...
Also how can we deal with people from our past that approach us and tell us so and so is talking about you. For me it’s easier when I live my life away from these ppl and I’m oblivious to what they’re saying about me but it kind of consumes me when someone points it out to me and tells me the details of what so and so has said.
Wenzes, going to do a xmas special? I know not a whole lot of people have this birthday ... a "hey" would be cool.
Thank you!!!
Thank You ❤️
Wenzes your the best! 🥳🥳🥳🥳
What if it's chemical (genotype) and your physically disposed to be unable to NOT care?
Thank you kindly
unrelated to the topic, I got dizzy watching this video, is it cut to skip over reels so much?
💚
This is what Trump is doing right now BIG TIME
Sorry what? He’s not an infj lol wutttt
Huh?
OH MY HOW I MANIFESTED THIS VIDEO YAY
LOVE YOU WENZES