Great ideas! My 81 yr old mom with dementia is great a rolling /making meatballs Or other cookies that you roll into balls then bake...😊...she can do this sitting down( she has leg/hip issues) and it makes her feel apart of cooking for the holidays . Thx always for your great videos .
Thank for your important work. Toddler toys can work surprisingly well. Stacking cups for tracing. Beads and yard for stringing. Building toys. Clay or playdough. Folding tea towels or mating socks (I used to dump the drawers into a laundry basket!). Sweeping the floor, helping to set the table, or brushing the pet (or animatronic pet). Reading aloud, watching a bird feeder or cat playing with catnip. Television programs were too confusing and never held mom's attention, but we could watch the shopping channel, or home reno shows because those were her interests. The landscape channel or the Christmas fire place with carols were good, too. I suspect the bird channel (for cats) would also work. :)
My 91 year old mom LOVES Frank Sinatra and his music. She knows how to use her iPad to play his music every night before bed BUT she doesn’t want to “lose” Frank so she doesn’t want to explore all the fun features an iPad has. We understand but repeatedly try to teach her and show her TICKTOCK and RUclips which she says are “boring”. Haha.
My 79 year old wheelchair bound mother inlaw loves household chores. She like to fold napkins and dish towels. She likes to grate cheese. She'd really like to do more, but I haven't come up with a safe way for other tasks she wants to do is. Washing dishes, dusting ( we tried this and she kept getting dizzy or tried to stand).
our mother-in-law is very fortunate to have such a caring family, taking the time to meet her emotional need to be useful. And, ultimately, if she is happier, she is easier to care for, so it's also a win for you. What about giving her a long handled feather duster, or Swiffer mop to use while seated? Sorting the contents of a drawer at the table? Organizing the sewing basket? Arts and crafts? Beading, collage, adult colouring books... Polishing jewelry? Mating socks. Snapping beans or prepping other veg or fruit. Reading aloud. Baking. Typing or writing notes and lists? Buttering the toast. Misting plants. Wrapping gifts. Best of luck. xo
My 67 y.o stinker walks around all day moving anything she can to diffrent locations , taking apart and hiding anything she can and avoiding showers. Tried coloring and other activities but shows no interest.
I am so sorry. You sound burnt out, and no wonder. This is such a hard journey for the family members as well as the person themselves. Do you have the resources to get help, look into alternative sources of care, or even join a support group? The behaviours that you describe are very common and there are tips and support you could get from others going through the same things. Wishing you all the best.
There are no right answers. It depends on a number of things: 1) Do you have the authority to make the decisions? 2) What would your mom's wishes have been? 3) Would treatments ultimately improve or maintain quality of life, or just extend her decline? Sometimes improving a health issue does not make the person better. 4) What are the risks or potential side effects of treatment? At this stage so many of the options worsen the dementia symptoms. My mom was in a care home for several years with Alzheimer's. We opted to de-medicate her, except for non-narcotic pain-meds for arthritis, along with a few supplements. We chose to focus on a healthy diet to maintain her immune system, physical strength and general well being. We provided lots of mental and social stimulation, as well as family interaction. As she got worse, honestly, we prayed that something would take her from her misery. We loved her dearly, but this disease is a torment. She barely survived covid, and was never as strong. When she fell and suffered a broken hip, knowing her wishes, we opted for the mercy of palliative care (heavy sedation and pain meds) rather than a surgical repair. By this time, she was definitely not a good candidate for rehab. The process would have been cruel, which was definitely not the goal. It was an incredibly difficult decision, but we have absolutely no regrets. She was lucky to have escaped a worse fate of more years in decline.
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and lives alone. She has carers twice a day and is under Adult Social Care Services. Mother has no interests, hobbies or activities which occupy her daily routine. She does not like change and tolerates visits from family only. Mother is deaf, incontinent and has mobility issues which she refuses to recognise or deal with. She sits all day reading newspapers which are meaningless and of which she has no recollection. Mother watches television and has no idea what she is watching. My sister found her watching cartoons the other week. Mother is taken out shopping by my brother and forgets where she has been as soon as she is back home. Her interaction with reality and current affairs is non existent. Mother refuses to go into a Care Home so we have to endure her stubborn attitude, denial and complete ingratitude where help is offered.
Going into a care home or not is not a decision to be made by someone who doesn't have the capacity to make decisions. For the same reason, she cannot be expected to 'deal with' her own health issues. Does she have a power of attorney for care? If her physician, or an agency for seniors cannot facilitate an admission to a care home, having her declared incapable should allow family members, or even a public guardian to step in. Someone with her advanced cognitive decline isn't safe alone, even with caregivers who come and go. Twice a day visits are not enough for her advanced physical and mental needs. It can be incredibly difficult for family members who know the 'old' mom, and see her clearer in some moments more than others. She may even be able to compensate at times, giving the impression that she is not as bad as she really is. Remember, she is not stubborn, she has a brain disease. It is mentally exhausting to care for a loved one in this condition, and emotionally draining. The frustration can be overwhelming. Is there a support group near you where you can get advice and resources? Try not to think of her as being in denial. Her mind is not capable of assessing her own abilities, never mind denying them. Dementia can cause suspicion, paranoia and delusions, all of which colour her perceptions of your attempts to care for her. She is not ungrateful, she literally doesn't realize that she needs help, and she is used to being independent. She is not capable of 'accepting' help. Help must just be skillfully and lovingly given, as with a small child who needs to be parented whether they understand or not. Memory loss makes it impossible for her to appreciate what she cannot remember. She feels terribly alone when she has no one with her because she can't remember having had company, and she can't anticipate anyone arriving soon. She is not capable of entertaining herself, but could do activities with someone to provide inspiration and assist her with them. Sometimes even just observing and chatting is enough. Are there adult day programs in your area that she could qualify for? Does she, or a family member, have the financial resources to get her some earing aids? Hearing loss contributes to her confusion, loneliness and rate of decline. Music is also very beneficial for dementia patients. She would be much better off in a more stimulating environment, even if the initial adjustment was challenging. Someplace where routines and activities are provided for her, and where there are social opportunities all around her. Even if the initial adjustment was challenging, it would also take some of the pressure off family members. I wish you all the best as you navigate your mom's future.
@@jhutch1681 Thankyou for your detailed response. My mother was finally admitted into a Care Home in August 2022 . She had a fall in June 2022 and was hospitalised with a small but treatable spinal injury. Whilst there, she caught Covid . Mother’s capacity to self maintain was reassessed and she was deemed inadequate to return home. She was admitted into a Care Home in August and died in December 2022. Mother was 3 weeks short of her 95th birthday but what an innings she’d had.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
Here's 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets for acitivies and what to do w/ challenging behaviors, download @ dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
Great ideas! My 81 yr old mom with dementia is great a rolling /making meatballs Or other cookies that you roll into balls then bake...😊...she can do this sitting down( she has leg/hip issues) and it makes her feel apart of cooking for the holidays . Thx always for your great videos .
I'm so glad!
I think my mother in law would enjoy this.
You can also use that skill with playdough or clay in the off-season!
Thank for your important work.
Toddler toys can work surprisingly well. Stacking cups for tracing. Beads and yard for stringing. Building toys. Clay or playdough.
Folding tea towels or mating socks (I used to dump the drawers into a laundry basket!).
Sweeping the floor, helping to set the table, or brushing the pet (or animatronic pet).
Reading aloud, watching a bird feeder or cat playing with catnip.
Television programs were too confusing and never held mom's attention, but we could watch the shopping channel, or home reno shows because those were her interests.
The landscape channel or the Christmas fire place with carols were good, too. I suspect the bird channel (for cats) would also work.
:)
My 91 year old mom LOVES Frank Sinatra and his music. She knows how to use her iPad to play his music every night before bed BUT she doesn’t want to “lose” Frank so she doesn’t want to explore all the fun features an iPad has. We understand but repeatedly try to teach her and show her TICKTOCK and RUclips which she says are “boring”. Haha.
My 79 year old wheelchair bound mother inlaw loves household chores. She like to fold napkins and dish towels. She likes to grate cheese. She'd really like to do more, but I haven't come up with a safe way for other tasks she wants to do is. Washing dishes, dusting ( we tried this and she kept getting dizzy or tried to stand).
our mother-in-law is very fortunate to have such a caring family, taking the time to meet her emotional need to be useful. And, ultimately, if she is happier, she is easier to care for, so it's also a win for you.
What about giving her a long handled feather duster, or Swiffer mop to use while seated?
Sorting the contents of a drawer at the table?
Organizing the sewing basket?
Arts and crafts? Beading, collage, adult colouring books...
Polishing jewelry?
Mating socks.
Snapping beans or prepping other veg or fruit.
Reading aloud.
Baking.
Typing or writing notes and lists?
Buttering the toast.
Misting plants.
Wrapping gifts.
Best of luck. xo
My 67 y.o stinker walks around all day moving anything she can to diffrent locations , taking apart and hiding anything she can and avoiding showers. Tried coloring and other activities but shows no interest.
I am so sorry. You sound burnt out, and no wonder. This is such a hard journey for the family members as well as the person themselves.
Do you have the resources to get help, look into alternative sources of care, or even join a support group?
The behaviours that you describe are very common and there are tips and support you could get from others going through the same things.
Wishing you all the best.
Should all medical issues be addressed or should we choose what we do to make mom comfortable
There are no right answers. It depends on a number of things:
1) Do you have the authority to make the decisions?
2) What would your mom's wishes have been?
3) Would treatments ultimately improve or maintain quality of life, or just extend her decline? Sometimes improving a health issue does not make the person better.
4) What are the risks or potential side effects of treatment? At this stage so many of the options worsen the dementia symptoms.
My mom was in a care home for several years with Alzheimer's. We opted to de-medicate her, except for non-narcotic pain-meds for arthritis, along with a few supplements. We chose to focus on a healthy diet to maintain her immune system, physical strength and general well being. We provided lots of mental and social stimulation, as well as family interaction.
As she got worse, honestly, we prayed that something would take her from her misery. We loved her dearly, but this disease is a torment.
She barely survived covid, and was never as strong. When she fell and suffered a broken hip, knowing her wishes, we opted for the mercy of palliative care (heavy sedation and pain meds) rather than a surgical repair. By this time, she was definitely not a good candidate for rehab. The process would have been cruel, which was definitely not the goal. It was an incredibly difficult decision, but we have absolutely no regrets. She was lucky to have escaped a worse fate of more years in decline.
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and lives alone. She has carers twice a day and is under Adult Social Care Services. Mother has no interests, hobbies or activities which occupy her daily routine. She does not like change and tolerates visits from family only. Mother is deaf, incontinent and has mobility issues which she refuses to recognise or deal with. She sits all day reading newspapers which are meaningless and of which she has no recollection. Mother watches television and has no idea what she is watching. My sister found her watching cartoons the other week. Mother is taken out shopping by my brother and forgets where she has been as soon as she is back home. Her interaction with reality and current affairs is non existent. Mother refuses to go into a Care Home so we have to endure her stubborn attitude, denial and complete ingratitude where help is offered.
Going into a care home or not is not a decision to be made by someone who doesn't have the capacity to make decisions. For the same reason, she cannot be expected to 'deal with' her own health issues. Does she have a power of attorney for care? If her physician, or an agency for seniors cannot facilitate an admission to a care home, having her declared incapable should allow family members, or even a public guardian to step in. Someone with her advanced cognitive decline isn't safe alone, even with caregivers who come and go. Twice a day visits are not enough for her advanced physical and mental needs.
It can be incredibly difficult for family members who know the 'old' mom, and see her clearer in some moments more than others. She may even be able to compensate at times, giving the impression that she is not as bad as she really is. Remember, she is not stubborn, she has a brain disease. It is mentally exhausting to care for a loved one in this condition, and emotionally draining. The frustration can be overwhelming. Is there a support group near you where you can get advice and resources?
Try not to think of her as being in denial. Her mind is not capable of assessing her own abilities, never mind denying them. Dementia can cause suspicion, paranoia and delusions, all of which colour her perceptions of your attempts to care for her. She is not ungrateful, she literally doesn't realize that she needs help, and she is used to being independent. She is not capable of 'accepting' help. Help must just be skillfully and lovingly given, as with a small child who needs to be parented whether they understand or not.
Memory loss makes it impossible for her to appreciate what she cannot remember. She feels terribly alone when she has no one with her because she can't remember having had company, and she can't anticipate anyone arriving soon.
She is not capable of entertaining herself, but could do activities with someone to provide inspiration and assist her with them. Sometimes even just observing and chatting is enough. Are there adult day programs in your area that she could qualify for?
Does she, or a family member, have the financial resources to get her some earing aids? Hearing loss contributes to her confusion, loneliness and rate of decline. Music is also very beneficial for dementia patients.
She would be much better off in a more stimulating environment, even if the initial adjustment was challenging. Someplace where routines and activities are provided for her, and where there are social opportunities all around her. Even if the initial adjustment was challenging, it would also take some of the pressure off family members.
I wish you all the best as you navigate your mom's future.
@@jhutch1681 Thankyou for your detailed response. My mother was finally admitted into a Care Home in August 2022 . She had a fall in June 2022 and was hospitalised with a small but treatable spinal injury. Whilst there, she caught Covid . Mother’s capacity to self maintain was reassessed and she was deemed inadequate to return home. She was admitted into a Care Home in August and died in December 2022. Mother was 3 weeks short of her 95th birthday but what an innings she’d had.