Why You Can’t Break Free From Your Bad Habits
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
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In this video, Teal Swan reveals the real reason behind your negative behavior and how to change it. She explains the difference between behaviors that are motivated by a need and behaviors that are motivated by avoidance.
She also gives you practical examples and tips on how to find a different way to meet your needs or avoid your fears, without causing harm to yourself or others. Watch this video if you want to learn how to stop hurting yourself and start living a happier and healthier life.
Listen Out For:
The law of cause and effect and how it relates to your behavior
The difference between need-based and avoidance-based behavior
How to identify what you are trying to get or avoid through your behavior
How to find a different way to meet your needs or avoid your fears
How to break through the pattern of negative behavior
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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?
Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.
Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.
If you are in a crisis or if you or any other person may be feeling suicidal or in danger, the following resources can provide you with immediate help: tealswan.vip/Help
👉 Follow Teal Swan:
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Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco
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I have an ongoing battle with severe procrastination. Im always getting ready to do my work and never get to it until I get so stressed worrying about it that i have to.
Same here😮
Same
Me too
Me too :)
Same. For me, it's a part of my adhd. I've stopped fighting it - the stress is what helps me focus. To others, it looks like procrastination, but for me, it's a tool, and I'm not going to feel ashamed about it anymore. If someone won't give me a deadline, I make one up so I can focus. By seeing the stress as a tool, it doesn't feel so bad when I'm using it, and I'm able to let it go when the task is done - no shame needed. ❤
Random comment, but I love these bright saturated jewel colors on Teal. They are completely harmonious with her vibe.
she looks gorgeous in all colors honestly, but dark blue has something about it more special
I love the color of her wall
Like Snow White
Omg what a synchronicity. You gave me an example with my name, and the exact problem I have now. Thank you Teal ! My mind is blown.
😮😮😮😮
Dangggggg😮😮
🤯 Kinda scary how Teal can work through the screen sometimes haha
Don't do drugs, Katie.
My name, as well- and I’ve struggled with hard drug use most of my young adult life. I’ve been “Cali clean” now for over 7 years, but the guilt of even having a piece of that lifestyle a part of me is eating me inside.
But I just scheduled myself for EMDR therapy. I have to find another way to cope. I have to let go of the pain in a safe way, instead of placating myself and having breakdowns because of trauma triggers (that are still ongoing in my family life).
Never done hard drugs, but I can relate too much with Katie. For a long time, I thought this whole "self improvement, and meditation, therapy, and especially journaling" were such BS, until I understood what they were really about. It sounds WAAAY easier than it actually is, but she's 100% right. I've come a long way undoing so many thought patterns and behaviors that have solidified for the last 25 years of my life, and in my experience, this is exactly how you deal with it.
It almost feels like we are afraid of not being loved that we doing everything to avoid that feeling altogether.
Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/negative-behavior-reason/
Thank you !
This is awesome 👌
How rare it is to have someone willing to say this without paying them for years!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.
Right now, I’m trying to just fill my brain with knowledge about running a business. It’s become somewhat of an addiction. A productive addiction… as I come off a year’s prescription to suboxone and attempt to cut the weed out so I can be more productive and return better results from the universe. I know that the universe displays and simulates a reality that is holographic in nature and is based on the emotions I’m feeling. If I obscure my lens with substance, I can expect obscure results in my external reality and therefore; success. Nothing nearly as bad as an alcoholic or meth lens but still not 100% pure and optimized…
I'm working on my spending habit 😩
I keep buying new clothes because I find them pretty/unique. However I'm not wearing more than twice a year
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure
you saved lives today.
You are useful.
Your intelligence and wisdom
is a blessing to the
world.
MY FAVOURITE PART IS WHEN TEAL TOUCHES SOMETHING SO REAL IT JUST BRINGS YOU 2 TEARS
WOW! Very insightful and thought provoking.
My lifelong bad habits are gluttony, and hoarding.
Ruined my life. Age 57. Never married. No children. No real friends. Professional failure.
Thank you for not shaming, but reflecting in a sympathetic manner.
Can you help me understand something about hoarding, someone I know hoards but doesn’t care about anything he owns. He literally collects stuff, drops it on the ground in his yard and lets the weeds grow over it.
Same situation as you my friend and i also "never got married. No children. No real friends. Professional failure."
Good luck
I have the same habits I can't kick, gluttony and scarcity mentality. Thanks for sharing, and thanks so much to Teal for this video. I believe now that we're armed with awareness, we're one step closer to achieving our goal of getting rid of our bad habits
Just heard about you and all I can say is…..wow thank you. Your voice and tone for one is amazing and soothing and gives me chills. I have been on a spiritual journey for this whole year but in retrospect a lot longer now that I am seeing the synchronicity of my life. Been down many paths to find clarity in my conscious mind that I think I have found a particular place or purpose in my quest. But today I heard you on the Know thy self podcast and was impressed with your insight and understanding of humanity. I as well see other worldly things and I suppressed them with cannabis for 30 + years. But now a year sober I see that I was meant for something greater. Thanks for the seek truth honesty ❤❤❤.
Your messages to help always come at the most perfect time in my life when I’ve been keeping up with negative behaviors that I’ve been struggling with. Thank you 🙏
Same here 😊
I was an intravenous meth addict for a year at 16. Got myself off that then I other ways to not feel. I finally am coming to terms and making peace where I am at and learning to create and address my emotions as I feel necessary for myself. Spiritually half way in 1.0 and the other foot in 2.0.
I wanna see a day in the life!! I'm so interested in how you implement your practices in your day to day
"To really break an addiction you must have a different kind of focus for the mind that must really be all consuming. It may even look like another addiction. But it must be strong enough to displace and replace what has captivated your mind previously, and what still tends to captivate your mind.
Instead of being addicted to a drug, you become addicted to God. You become addicted to the experience of Knowledge within yourself, the deeper Intelligence that God has placed within you. You become addicted to serving others. You become addicted to maintaining your health. This new addiction may be temporary, but it serves as a bridge, you see."
Freedom from Addiction and Obsession, *The New Message from God*
It’s not that simple.. it’s just not. I’ve been addicted to cocaine for more time than most people have been on this planet. It’s a thinking problem. And I struggle with it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. What helps some may not help others and vice versa.. I appreciate and respect your thoughts on this, and can see you , ( possibly) have some experience with substance abuse, but it is not something that has worked for me. I have a love hate relationship with the man upstairs.. it’s a work in progress…
I am grateful for you and your impact ✨
Thanks, Swan!
You inspire me so much. Xoxo thank you
Wow you just gave more valuable information that is usable than I have heard often in such a short period of time. What a show of essence & power!
Im soooo proud of you!!!! I'm sorry for the pain you had to face..thank you for not believing the lies they have spun
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Trying to reach out someone deleting reply
Thank you. Avoidance based behaviors is something I would like to know more about.
yes, please!!!! seconded
Me, too!
You are a big inspiration to our channel and the whole reason for why we started it! Hopefully we can grow and share your unique insights to even more women out there. Thank you for all you do Miss Teal Swan! We love you ❤
You are so smart. Every word rang true. How did you learn this wisdom?
I was abandoned by my father who literally disappeared of the face of the planet. My mother usually ignored me, taking care of food and shelter, but nothing else. She kicked me out when I was 18. My stepfather drank, womanized, and physically abused me and my mother, who stayed with him for a decade.
I threw myself into role-play games, and later video games. I was very lonely but very shy. I dated a few times, but nothing seemed to stick.
Now I'll be 54 this month, and I want to change, but is there even a point? What do I do?
Yes, I think there is a point. There must be something you have a passion about or something you’re good at. Or you might be in a position to help someone else. I’m not preaching at you because I struggle with the same thing myself. I’m just trying to give you some ideas. I never know when I’m supposed to be doing either, and when I do find something I’m passionate about I procrastinate. Good luck to you. 💕 I can relate to your childhood story.
Very powerful video! Thank you love!!!
Thanks Teal. Simple, clear and helpful as always. Love
Teal I am practicing gratitude and thankfulness. Thank you so much for this, you have helped me beyond words with this information.
Have a great day everyone ❤
Teal you have so much to offer to us. Perhaps this is why you speak in fast paced manner. Please incorporate some gaps and silence in your talks as well so that the listener would be able to fully grasp all what you are saying. Thank You.
Hit the pause button
You can adjust the speed of the video to make it slower👍🏼 she doesn’t need to change
Friend please don't be offended. I am just here to learn. I know that she has discovered within herself profound stillness and silence. I just wanted her to incorporate some moments of stillness and silence (from within) in her talks so that others would also be able to connect with that dimension within themselves.
@@Amber_the_Awesome really? How do you do that? I didn’t know you could.
@@whitebirchtarot Click the little button on the top right of the video that looks like a gear⚙️ and you’ll see Playback Speed.
Good morning dear. Good job. I'm glad I can help
Thank you ❤🙏
Please dont ignore and I would appreciate it alot if u make a video on physical appearance or upgrading them pleaseeee
Telekinetic connection between physiological/ biological cells and a positivity mindset can enhance beauty. She talks about something similar in her video about human beings and their pets’ appearances being similar. She breaks down how the physical presence is as reflection of the inner beliefs another self and a lot of other details I think you’d appreciate!! Wish I could remember the exact name of the video but it’s pretty old
@@MysticMandaLLC ohhh, o my god thank you soooo much for ur information I have been searching for the answer for quite a long thanks soo much for helping me out hope u have a good day
THANK YOU TEAL,YOUR SESSION WAS VERY , VERY HELPFUL! 🎉 GOD BLESS 😊
Wonderful advice
This covers BPD in various forms and stages effectively
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
Law of cause: Actions have consequences.
Need-based behaviors
Made with HARPA AI
It's over eating delicious foods for me x a daily struggle sometimes 😢💗
Reminds me a lot of Internal Family Systems.
1. take one single problem and focus on it and solve it 7:58
2. noting down the positives
Thank you Teal, your videos about forgiveness, Law of attraction and this one today along with many others I can not remember helped me profoundly. I am grateful to your work.
this is healing. This is teal swan.
Teal Swan (US) is trying to understand my culture more!!! 🙂 🙂🙂💞♥Thank you! Thanks for the South-Asian representation in your vid today. xx
Hi Teal! You so brilliant !
Sometimes it feels like your videos/books are written about my life specifically. Kinda unnerving because it makes me realize how traumatized I actually am and how much denial I’m STILL in since I started going to trauma therapy 5 years ago. I have climbed so many huge mountains to get to where I am now, but it still feels like I haven’t even started climbing the real one yet. Can someone cross their fingers for me, please? 🙏 😅 thanks for your videos, Teal. I did a completion process session about a month ago, was pretty helpful. Cheers.
Me being nervous and that causing me to be shy has wrecked my life. I think it has to do with the first example pleasing my mom by being quiet like her(she always use to say shut up if i talked as a 4-7 year old kid) and some stuff that happened in my childhood, especially primary school were i embarrassed myself a lot cause being nervous makes you do stupid things and freak out easy like stuttering and saying something stupid and everyone laughs at me. Felt so embarrassed so i guess i also used that as a coping mechanism.
I am 44 years old and No wife or girlfriend or children. No friends and failed in life. Got a bad job but cause i work alone i keep this low paying job with long hours. I avoid people(even my own family) as best i can but i need to go to work so i just close my eyes and go to work and face my fears but it doesn't help cause i being told i'm shy and everyone avoids me and ignores me when they talk in a group like i will stand in the middle and they will make eye contact with the guy on my left and the guy on my right but not me. Feels so disrespectful i get angry and just walk away and be by myself.
I tried meditation, spiritual practices but nothing really helped. Meditation changed my attitude to life, which was great but i quit meditation when i got covid for 5 months in hospital and i started taking benzo's every day cause there were doctor's, nurses and patients that made me nervous and one became 2 just to feel normal and now i take 20mg Valium(diazepam cause Valiums are to expensive.) 2 years later i got a big problem and can't get off them... They don't work and give me tolerance WD/inter dose Wd which is the worst making me more nervous.
I feel like a real looser cause i am that guy/nerd/old bald dude that's 44 years old(not bald but they show that in movies) in there parents(mom) basement(room in her house) and to pathetic to get job(even though i have a job but i work alone.)
Life is a nightmare and i wish i could stay in my house all day cause i am my own best friend and i can be alone cause then i am my real true human self. I practise to find my real SELF and spirituality(fell in love with spirituality) saved my life addiction wise cause it was my new hobby. I have quit my addictions but not benzo's but i feel spirituality helps me to bring out the real human me and not be nervous and stress 24/7.
I am trying to get my life together but i keep falling back to my bad habits as soon as a person says something or ignores me cause of my nervousness and shyness. I am trying my best to accept it and just focus on other things but it's my new practice and hopefully i can master it.
Any advice you could give me Teal? Will try the advice you give in the video and def need to watch the self sabotage video cause i do that for sure to avoid being successful cause i probably hve a fear of being successful.
Thanks for all your videos and love them and sorry for the self pity and long post but i just felt i needed to get it off my chest and hope there is a chance someone could help me.
Thank you!!
We’re all rooting for you.
Yeah like i think she said or i saw it on another video is our Ego's traumatised little children still trying to survive as adults. @dawnmichelleseidlgodsey120
This is a practical advice , but have you ever thought of international dating?
I love listening to you!
I love how practical this message is!
I have a terrible problem with not being able to eat even though I’m so hungry it hurts and sometimes there’s food here and sometimes there isn’t and I can’t leave the house. I think I’m the result of way way way too much loss and way way way too much trauma and no beings to help…
Namasté & Ho’Oponopono everything 🕊️❤️
We need more videos about that subject
Profound clarity.
Keeping this on repeat
Thank you. I’m procrastinating a lot, and with my career, and with sleep. Ty for some useful incite
Love you Teal thank you for the upload Happy Holidays ❤
Thanks Teal... Would you recommend any of your books or books written by others on developing a "sense of self"?
I enjoyed this video... subscribed!
We are all one in our heart 💎😘💙
Love you Teal
As much as I appreciate your efforts, all your advice and perspectives seem to stem from the idea that the mind is in control of the whole show... aka if we could choose differently, the world around us would change. Yet... though life is made up of a significant part of the things we choose, our choices are secondary to the fatalistic constructs that preexist all our choices. Soul contracts and their fulfilment are the primary name of the game. Forgive me if you have a video on this that I missed. I just can't help but appreciate your advice and hate to see it nullified by principles that inherently must be addressed before the soul can choose its own fate... mine included. Would love to hear your thoughts / be proven wrong.
I can definitely relate to Siraj and his dilemma.
Wow so true people with avoidant attachments are the people that Ive seen with the most substance addictions... I used to have anxious attachment and actually it has some benefits 🤣 (even when I reacted fiercely at least I didnt suppress the hurts inside of me I didnt understand them as now but at least I used to let them out) and I didnt feel the need to have addictions in my life except to the idea of having a partner
Love from the pnw ❤
I sometimes have an issue with anger appreciate the video
There’s no secondary gain to what’s happening to me now. I used to be really powerful and now I’m disempowered and I call my power back to me but it doesn’t seem to matter. I hope my comments are seen by the eyes that can help me help myself some time is a really good soul
You really need to talk to a professional! If you don’t have the money, call your county mental health agency. There must be someone who can help you. 💕
True--I can't break free from my bad habits. I'm a sucker for a pretty face like Teal's. 😊
Please help!!! How do we integrate a part of ourself that thinks it has everything that needed( food, shelter, time for ourself, happiness) and no need to take any other actions or to move forward . ( but I'm jobless, I'm about to go broke, currently I'm living with the money that I saved from my previous job). This part thinks, if I move forward in my life, work towards something, it's gonna disrupt the happiness and the time that I'm getting right now. Even though when I tried to start from what I love to do and keep myself engaged in, still I lose interest in it and fall to my old patterns.... but another part of me, the opposite of this part is freaking out and is in a constant anxiety for the future.
I want to move forward take actions to support myself financially, but it's hard for me to initiate anything, and also in making decisions.
If anyone knows the answers to this, please reply to me I'll appreciate it very much.🙏
How the hell is someone going to do all of that, its difficult even to find someone to guide them through it. There a lot of people involved needed
You are the best
I had a dream about you Teal… you looked into my eyes and said: “I can tell that you love me”
All habits are bad if it’s done without Awareness; otherwise, it’s something one enjoys doing… 🙏😂
I love this video as well as all your other videos. I know that you and your team put a lot of time and money into making these for our benefit. I am truly grateful for these gifts. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
lol this must be the most naive and dumb comment I have ever read on the internet..
Your story hits the nail on the head of why I take magic mushrooms at 4:55, I just wish I could take magic mushrooms weekly rather than 2 or 3 times a year. And to add I take huge heroic doses to give me that full out of body experience I strive for, I especially love that oneness with god experience, when i can have it. I haven't been able to find anything else to replace it with.
I feel you, for me the only thing to replace this is sincere spiritual practice. Especially techniques that cultivate love and bliss.
Kriya yoga does this very well.
And of course shadow/parts work will improve your overall happiness step by step (:
Thank You for allowing me to Touch on this valuable part from such angle. The last of my major bad habits was to stay up late despite the negative impact and started to recognize the actual moment when it is acceptable to call it the night and by doing so I have gained access to a type of mindful sleep that allows me to live an alternate reality parallel and partnering with complementary components to my daily awaken reality. Obviously I have been spending considerable amount of time raising my frequency to levels I feel I have to make room both physically and ethereally speaking to allow for efficient storage of vibrational resonance and reverberation. However I remain on the lookout for old habits attempting to come around dressed up differently or habits I did not consider bad but they are nonetheless. I Love the journey so much so enough to want the ultimate from this relationship to keep re- inviting it endlessly.
One flowing energy all together 💙⚓🌹
I do so well with the lesson, but fail the test every time
I often think of how Back to the Future was showing how he turned the volume way up before doc called. Then doc had that note taped together but maybe the coats of wax on the truck
In my experience, bad habits are best broken one by one.
❤ 1:00
CHRISTMAS SONG FOR YOU.
Sometimes we all struggle,
When we are left alone,
The Paths are not Clear,
In every turn we roam,
Though, love is like a candle,
It will guide you, with its glow,
It will show the way,
It will bring you home...
So what am I thinking,
On this lonely Christmas Night,
Something I could gift you,
Something Sweet & Bright,
Yes, I could paint you a picture
Send a Christmas Card or two,
Written of my happiness,
When saying I love you...
Yes I could paint, you, this picture,
It's an easy thing to do,
But I'd rather sing these Beau-tif-ul,
Christmas Songs For You.
For you I will sing,
For you I will cry,
And on this night I'll love you,
Beneath this Starry SKY,
Yes I will paint, you, this picture,
It's an easy thing to do,
But I'd rather sing these Beau-tif-ul,
Christmas Song For You.
To make Every Christmas wish come true,
Then spend One Holy lonely night,
With You*
John Leslie Dwyer.
“Katy” is me except sub alcohol. I’m at the end- if the solution is to be close with others I’m doomed. I have no one.
I know how I should study but I still don’t do it and end up stressed at the end of the semester and hate myself for it…
In min. 5:48 - What “a need” means?
Your problem is the same as mine; maintaining the belief that rational thinking and rational talk are the yellow brick road to rational actions. Some people’s rational capacity is so far gone (or they never much had it in the first place) there’s no way they’re going to hear this and suddenly say, “Hey, Self! Here’s how to do this rationally” and then come up with a plan that they can suddenly implement. We can delude ourselves that less rational people are going to grok what we’re saying because we’ve just explained it with such clarity. But like I’ve heard you say before, you explain the stuff to people and they STILL fall into the trap you told them to avoid. So you and I both probably ought to come up with something more effective.
Im avoident of female love itself from the moment i was born. So much i cant even handle the sun without tapping out and pain...
@Teal Swan I admire and look up to you, your energy and your content SO MUCH!! not sure if you'll ever see this, but i would love to have a conversation with you! Not sure how you feel about psychics but if you were ever interested I'd love to give you a free reading. 🕉️❤️🕯️✨🥰 Love& Light
oh yeah, about time
I really want to listen to myself, feel my emotions, be present again. However, I feel afraid of the truth that it might bring and that I will be powerless to meet my own needs. So I am avoiding a part of my feelings because I feel scared of the truth being that I am powerless in my situation. What can I do?
There are communities that practice the 'method' called eye gazing. It's where you intentionally keep looking in the eyes of another human (directly, so without a device like a phone or laptop in between) without speaking nor setting a timer on when to end. Sessions can be guided by a third human, to help steer towards the inner parts we generally don't want to feel, or if it feels safe two humans can practice by themselves. Ängsbacka, a community in Sweden, introduced me, but there are places all over the world. We need to learn to trust eachother again. This takes time. Hope this helps a bit. 💙
Ps. You have a beautiful forename.
One thing I want to add is that it is vital to do this sober. This includes marijuana.
Kind regards, Steph. 🤟🏻
Such a badass woman! love your voice!
Second issue but weed helps me out a hole i wish i could keep out off ... why woud you want to focus on negative energy . Suicidal thoughts are harmful .
This was interesting
Its like “commitment” gives me claustrophobia.
And im so lost in that , its been so long now
Research dismissive avoidant personality disorder in Teal’s videos. She breaks down the fear of intimacy and how it’s a product of poor attachment to the parent figure that raised you. One learns to dismiss their own need for intimacy when learned that those needs weren’t met by their parents after a consistent basis. As a defense mechanism, one shuts down their ability to get attached to others to protect themselves. This bleeds out into the adult life into this particular mental health condition. She has multiple videos on the matter, too.
@@MysticMandaLLC thank you! I’m gonna search for that video.
Looking at your Self? We are afraid of ourselves.
Everyone who has a brain can relate I came here for my horoscope reading and found this angel dripping water in the ocean whoever tells the doc they feel depressed or anxious gets a disability disorder fur sure they can't miss you all are strange and like to be told so. OCDoes it ADHD needs asparagus aka Autism lets go to the casinos and goob out like everyone knows how to play those slot games without reading the rules omg they look like they're addicted to buttons it's making me drowsy
Teal popped up ik what this means
words of gold
The reason, why people can't break free from bad habits is because humans need a valve to put in the energies, that are in flow. When humans can not withstand certain energy levels, they put the energy in certain behaviours to release the energy. The more humans learn to withstand certain energy levels, the less they need bad behaviours. A master will come and help humans to explode in a good way, when humans learn to withstand high energy levels in themselves instead of releasing it in certain behaviours.
Behaviours that help you to withstand high energy levels: Yoga, meditation, stillness, fasting, healthy organic food, inner engineering.
Ok
Addiction is no joke. Unfixable problems are worse. Both, is the hell most people find themselves in here.
Thanks ✌️
You know it would sound a million times better and more natural if you took out the word “and” before each example.
He could do this.
He could do that.
Also, he could do this.
In order to get so and so result, he could do so and so.
Finally, he could do this
I mean at least say OR once or twice, dang!!
none of that feels remotely doable to me. my body is just so done with trying, despite not yet feeling outright suicidal. i feel like i need some externally imposed structure forced on me
Same. I need others’ free will to integrate with this message in order for my reality to actually be pleasant. That’s why her videos are so save-able. I save them for later use so that when I finally can rule out others’ involvement in my misery, I can come back to the video when it’s actually employable
I can totally relate. I don’t know why, but I cannot seem to impose any structure on myself. It needs to come from outside me, or from someone else. I have no idea why, but it’s driving me nuts. I never finish anything. There must be an answer somewhere for people like us.