in my country there is a proverb "you don't talk bad about the dead" or "you talk about the dead either positively or just don't" (its hard to translate literally) Its stupid and probably comes from believing in souls and that they would haunt you or they wont rest or something
@@mmgs1148 i think that's pretty universal. "Don't speak ill of the dead", i think you're right about it coming from old superstitions... I think it's ridiculous. Just cause they died doesn't suddenly absolve them from the bad things they did in life.
@@animegraveyard776 I could NOT agree more. Reading her book forced me to finally confront the fact that I too am an abuse survivor. I had buried it, and didn't want to deal with it.
@@Nighthawk5015frl ! ppl rlly think when a bad person dies who’s done evil n unspeakable things it suddenly “makes em a good person” or “jesus forgives all sins when we die” anyone who thinks like dat needa get out dat mindset bc wit one less abusive person who gave us trauma alive/around is one step closer ta of happiness fa us so quit tryna get us ta shed tears n speak all great things when yhu dont een kno wut we went thru let alone our abusers tru self bts bc only we did while dey only letchu see wut dey wanted yhu ta while we abused kids got duh bad parts
It’s a psychological warfare to realize that they never had to protect me but we just assumed they would and to not have that even though my mom said she “loved me” cruelly made my idea of love confusing and painful. =people pleaser for most of my life.
It's unfair how adults; the oldest, therefore, most mature and experienced in life, get treated like they don't know any better for mistreating their kids, while the latter is treated to always be the "bigger person" while they just started living... Make it make sense!!!
When I was a kid/teen I tried to became an “actor” and seeing kids at auditions being screamed at by their parents or in acting class knowing the weight that some kids had on their shoulders to be the bread winner in the family (when they were like ten years old) was truly disturbing.
hey i love your videos! i grew up in this industry and my lord it’s disturbing how mistreated these children are. glad that this book has opened so many conversations on these unsaid topics.
My mom said I'd be a good Disney actor when I was a kid ALOT, I remember saying that I didn't wanna be a actor and she respected my wish. This book makes me realize how fourtunate I had a mom that actually respected me or my life could've been alot worse.
This book hits so hard for people who grew up watching their parents fight, witnessed violence in their childhood, or were pressured to be successful from a young age by overbearing parents. It's so important to speak out about the things she talks about in this book. Thanks for making this video
In the beginning when you were mentioning child stars and how it shouldn’t be a thing, it reminded me of a kids Australian TV series called Bluey. The voice actors of the children in the show are kept hidden from the public to keep the kids safe and I think this should absolutely be the norm. No exploration of the children, and just in general keeping them away from the “child acting culture” I guess you could say.
I wish that the Bluey treatment was given to a lot more shows, it’s so well produced and puts the honest opinions of both children and parents in the spotlight. You can tell that the crew puts a lot of love into the creation of the show.
It also means if the kids wanna keep doing voice acting they hopefully wouldn’t be known as that voice type specifically + wouldn’t have to wreck their vocal chords when they hit puberty to keep their voices high like in other shows w kid VAs like Steven Universe. But on the other hand are they ever going to be credited for it? Like after the show ends or if they switch actors or something
@@lisdexamphetamine this is a good question, maybe they will update the cast list like on IMDb when they are of age and want the credit to continue acting.
what also grabbed my attention in the book is when she mentioned how the creator basically gaslit her into trying his alcoholic drink and said “cmon the victorious kids drink all the time” and that concerned me deeply. I would love to hear everyone else pov who has worked with Dan S.
100% with you on this being creepy and unacceptable but that is not what gaslighting is, it's being manipulative. these terms have meanings. schneider is MANIPULATIVE and ABUSIVE; hold him accountable, those words hold their own weights, use them. (as an example; gaslighting her would have been convincing her to drink, and THEN going "it's not weird that i made you do that, the victorious kids drink all the time!" gaslighting is a manner of manipulation, but it's not what happened. schneider very deliberately tried to manipulate a child into drinking with him. that's what happened. hope you don't take my tone as being overly aggressive or critical; holding abusive men accountable for their actions is incredibly important and part of that is to say what they actually did, without compromise or conflation with other terms people might be number to because of (inaccurate) overuse online.)
Bella Throne is another candid example of this. She had no choice but to get into acting after her father died in a motorcycle accident. SHE EVEN TOLD the producers she did not want to be there and that she was not funny, But they just saw it as her selling the part and gave her the role. We keep looking over these things and judging celebrities for their extremist behavior but its call just cause and effect people
I've read quite a few former Child Star autobiographies and it seems like the only times when children actually want to be an actor is when acting is the family trade like the barrymore's.
It’s an interesting difference the kids who worked cause they wanted to and the kids who were forced to provide for their families. Zendaya grew up in a comfortable financial position row loving parents who just wanted to give their daughter what she wanted vs Bella who was forced to work Ariana Grande who was doing it because she wanted to and because she loved it vs Jannette McCurdy being forced to provide for her family
@@alfie6441 Ariana's parents also have their own income and they're not expecting her to provide for the family, similar to Zendaya and unlike Bella and Jannette
In my opinion, protecting child stars needs to start with keeping the parents from the finances. The Coogan Accounts should be more like 80% opposed to 15%, maybe even higher. These children should not be providing for their family, first and foremost. Second of all, the people working on these shows and these sets should be constantly monitored. Nobody with a criminal record should be working on a set with children, and if a child complains about someone abusing them, they should be removed immediately. Have inspections required of the workplace every two weeks or so, and have the hours more limited so the kids have time for school. Even having an officer of some sort on set 24/7 could make a big difference.
Things like Disney or Nickelodeon don’t really care about kids safety. My big sister, which have lost all of her children because of the extreme abuse (mentally and physically), got a job at Disney. I was so shocked, they didn’t even asked her to show her legal record or something like WHAT-
@@fishyponyo8348 My goodness, that's just horrifying! That's just so wrong, nobody with that kind of track record should be working anywhere near kids. So sad.
I think it would be wise to have a counselor on set for the kids to talk to, someone who will give them true confidentiality and who would be independently hired from outside the production studio to avoid any sort of ethical conflict. I feel like so many kids could have been saved SO MUCH heartache if someone had been able to step in and protect them without worrying about being fired.
As a child who was emotionally abused by my father but never really realizing it until my parents got divorced and I got older, I’m so glad she came out and told the truth about her feelings around her mothers death. There is such a toxic unconditional love children are expected to have towards their parents and it’s just not true. I don’t hate my father, I’ve learned to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean I love him. My life is so much better without him in it and I just will never accept him back in my life. Not loving your family members needs to be normalized. Yes he may be my biological father but in no way would I ever consider him my dad.
so sorry you had to endure what you did. i really love how much light is being shed on jennette - not only does she deserve to be given peace and prosperity for what she’s been through, but it helps others like you or even myself cope with our own trauma *edit: spelling mistakes
Omg same! My dad was both emotionally and physically abusive and ofc I thought that was normal growing up. It was only AFTER my parents divorced as well did I realize he was toxic. And I also recently found out that I’ve been gaslit my whole life by him as well as found out why gaslighting means. I call him Tim instead of dad now. Blood doesn’t mean shiz to me and I’m tired of that “because family”bs excuse. Family can stab you in the back faster than any stranger on the streets. It’s even worse when it’s family that hurt you.
I really like how you included that you forgave him but you have moved past him. I honestly feel like a lot of people are hearing Jennette's story and using it as fuel to completely cut off those that they feel hurt them. I understand that she was abused 100% but it is frustrating hearing people talk about how we need to be intersectional yet are obsessed with stories of people either being 100% good or 100% bad.
This book really confirms what I’ve been thinking about society and my own childhood , that we’ve gotten to a point where we don’t see kids as human beings. When I look back at the issues I had with my own parents it really boils down to them not respecting my personhood when I was younger. Kids definitely are naïve and vulnerable in society but they’re not dumb. They may not have the vocabulary to express their feelings as well as adults but they don’t “act up” or “throw fits” for no reason. I wish we all could listen to them more instead of always saying “ I’m older than you so I know what’s best”
Completely agree! And imo we also see it in the general, like, lack of interest in children's perspectives on anything? As if their age makes it impossible for them to have valuable and insightful thoughts, feelings, opinions on the world that we could ALL benefit from?? It's like adults only see kids as mindless feral creatures who must be disciplined and tolerated, not fellow members of society who we can connect to on a human level... Children's rights are such an under-discussed social justice topic it's sad :(
@Xpiayoc Yeaa exactly you have to walk with them through every step and be listening and open to them maybe going through abuse at someone else's house or something and you do not know what is going on, we like to think we do for their sake, but that is not for their sake, it is for our own. We need to drop our guard and fully accept and understand and let them know it's okay to talk about anything whether that be them being in the act of manipulated gay sex, I had no idea what it was so I wish I had known to explain it to my parents so they could reassure me that I was not a terrible human being for feeling that shame and like not being able to talk it affected me and I'm pretty sure it's caused a lot of trauma and mental health problems throughout stages of my life just always there. Now I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and finally broke free and to know who I am and figure it out almost everyday is so magical and I'm not as depressed and like very very energetic like sometimes it makes me a bit awkward to fully express myself but I try to be as curdious as possible, thank you all for being there for me and I'm so happy I can be here too! Yayyy love, love you!
1000% this! If anyone is interested, I HIGHLY suggest learning about youth liberation. The idea is basically what's been said here. Very cool shit and incredibly validating if you've been finding yourself thinking along this line.
my parents do that sometimes. i hate it. just because you are older than me doesnt mean you know more than i do. when i first told them that you could do freelance work on the internet (and later, when I got paid to do freelance work on the internet), they didnt believe me at first. in fact, they only truly believed in me when i put the money in my bank account.
I loved it. I took many thing’s from the book. These are me 3. 1. I think her mother learned her behavior from her grandmother. After her mother’s passing grandma’s true colors begin to show. She is off her rocker. 2.She had one hell of a backbone to decline the 300k. Considering Ariana really never discusses her role in the show makes me question if she was offered something and took it. 3. Stop living your dream through your kids.
3 is a garbage statement. You should want the best for them and that should be your dream. If you find a thing they like pursue it with them. Make sure they stick with it too. If my parents wouldn’t have I’d be a shit bag now.
@@derkaderkastan420 I don’t think you get the meaning of 3. 3 is the process of vicariously living through your children by forcing them to live in a certain way and make them want what you want, even if they don’t actually want it. You shouldn’t want that. Also, forcing your child to stick with someone you think they want is wrong as well. For one, kids aren’t always 100% on what they want. They might want to try it out and see theyre not into it. Don’t force them. Let them learn on their own and let them tell you what they want and support what they want. If they have trouble sticking to things, it’s cuz of some other issue. You might applying too much pressure, they might have ADHD/other mental disorders they need help for, etc.
My mom died just before covid and I too stand with the statement "I'm glad my mom died". People always say "you don't know what you ahve till it's gone" but I felt the opposite. The amount of relief was ridiculous
My mom literally tries to guilttrip and gaslight me into being more docile by telling me how badly I will miss her once she's gone. That is so disgusting because some part of me will probably miss her. The other more cynical part is just like "ok, let's see". Like how narcissistic is that of her? I thought I may be too harsh but you really showed that the immanent love bond everyone's expecting is a fraud.
@@Shirumoon It’s ridiculous, I agree. Grief is so difficult and different for all of us, and it makes it that much worse when someone tries to impose what you should feel onto us. I'm sorry that happened to you. You should grieve and feel in your own way, whatever way that is is up to you. Hope you're doing well
Mistreatment of child stars has been going on as far back as Michael Jackson, Gary Coleman, Shirley Temple, etc.Some of them grow into abusers themselves or resort to drugs and whatnot. Judy Garland's story is so tragic too. I wish something would have been done decades ago. My heart goes out to Jennette and I hope her book brings about positive change.
These new age celebrities aren't being "awesome moms" for not placing their kids in front of a camera from the moment they're born... They're just being normal parents, like that should be bare minimum...
tbh i think the hyping them up like that is more sort of a response to general misogyny than like, the child star issue itself. no matter what a woman does as a mother, especially a famous one, she's criticized and hated on. so a little bit of praise for celebrity moms who do decide to do the actual right thing for the sake of their children is more than fair imo. also you're totally right and it IS the bare minimum but more people need to do it and it SHOULD be encouraged and that's hard to do without... encouraging it you know? also if we hype up these moms for doing this (esp online), who knows, maybe some woman who's thinking about making her little kid the next tiktok star happens to see it and reconsiders.
This ages me but look at Mary Kate and Ashley, they were insanely popular since they were just BABIES! I can't even imagine what it would have been like growing up on movie sets
As someone, that deals with family trauma and trying to process it through therapy, Jennette has gave an amazingingly heartfelt view that it is okay to not forgive our abusers. People say forgiveness is the ultimate thing you can do for yourself but I think its even stronger to stay true to yourself and not let them have that forgiveness
i don't believe in the whole ideal of forgiveness being onesided. forgiveness, just like love, friendship, trust, and many other interpersonal bonding types, is a two way street. i cannot forgive someone if they make no effort to change or even acknowledge the suffering they've caused. i can choose to let go of my anger for my own peace and mental health, but that doesn't mean including someone that has hurt me in my life. it doesn't mean accepting what they've done as "just the way life is", etc. i wish more people realized it.q
Yes I also believe in not forgiving abusers. But certainly not 'caring' about your abusers and just live your life. Never forgive, never forget, but also never let them impact your life anymore.
Forgiveness is misunderstood. It's letting go of all that anger and resentment. It's not letting them back in your life or trusting them again or anything like that. Holding on to that anger for a long time is like drinking poison and expecting it to harm the other person, when it actually ends up harming you. To be able to forgive is a gift. Forgiveness is not trusting again, it is letting go and accepting what happened. It is okay to feel anger but holding on to it for a long time is not good for you and will not help you heal.
EXACTLY. i am so tired of people saying that in order to heal and move on you have to forgive. it would be a disservice to me to forgive. i believe that for some people, not forgiving is the most healing thing you can do.
@@shootingstars6762 the issue is that most people say that forgiveness is the only way to heal. and they don’t mean “forgiveness” in this way. they mean “forget about it, leave it alone, let bygones be bygones”. and i don’t think healing is possible if u just forgive your abuser and forget about it
Having an abusive parent creates so many conflicting feelings. Kids are hardwired to love their parents for their own survival. Society expects kids to love their parents so unconditionally that it borders on worship. But you DO grow to hate that abusive parent and at the same time feel a lot of guilt. So yes, you can feel relief if an abusive parent dies because it means they can't actively abuse you anymore. People who grew up in "happy, normal families" will NEVER understand.
This book really solidified for me that family and mommy vloggers/tiktokers need to not exist. They have even less protection than child stars and even child stars don’t even have a lot
daniel radcliffe's story stands out to me as probably one of the best possible scenarios that could come from a child star. if there does continue to be "child stars" in the future, it should be like the gold standard for any child that genuinely wants to be in that kind of business
dan was struggling with alcoholism while shooting harry potter. if even an apparent 'best case scenario' from a kid who wanted to get into the business ends up in alcoholism imagine the rest…
@@dledee he confirmed in an interview that it wasn’t alcoholism. He was just a regular 18 year old boy who drank too much like we all do when we can legally drink and tabloids took it too far saying he had drinking problems. There’s a big drinking culture in the UK and a lot of teenagers drink to excess because they know they can. Doesn’t make him an alcoholic, just a regular teenager turning up hungover from the night before.
@@jimmehsullivan123 it's scary how drinking large amounts of alcohol very often is so normalized oh no it's not alcoholism it's just teenagers/young adults having fun consuming a substance that harms their bodies
@@tamara10 Yeah the UK has a problem but he's no different from a lot of teenagers. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but that he even said so himself he wasn't an alcoholic. I feel that Daniel Radcliffe always gets labelled as one and it wasn't the case, it was people twisting his words and calling him an alcoholic because he was still drunk from the night before while on set. What teenager hasn't turned up to a uni lecture the next day still drunk? It's just common in young people - I've done it myself and as you get older the fascination wears off. Drinking is a new experience when you're young and you tend to make silly mistakes like that. Also our legal drinking age Is younger than in the US, so most of Uni (College) revolves around drinking. I spent most of my uni days getting drunk - doesn't make me an alcoholic though.
@@jimmehsullivan123 glad his drinking habits weren't as bad as the media portrayed them to be. Still drinking large amounts of alcohol shouldn't be normalized like it is. It's a problem in a lot of places. Where I'm from 18 is the legal drinking age but teens start drinking younger usually around 14, 15
i wanted so badly to be an actress when i was a child. (around 9/10) i auditioned for a role and got a callback on a little show you may or may not have heard of (something something suite life of something something) and my mom had a bad feeling and just didn’t let me go to the callback. she was once also an actress and knew about the ill treatment towards kids and didn’t want me to go through anything that wasn’t necessary. I was upset for years but I’m glad she stopped me.
your mom has a good intuition and strong head on her shoulders good for her I’m so glad you didn’t come close to this kind of exploitation because no one deserves it
i think some kids really can enjoy acting as long as they are protected - the more we talk about protecting children on set and holding productions as well as parents accountable, the better.
Also, I can add those kids should only be working on set. No interviews, no late time appearances, no talk shows, it shouldn't be their job to do the promotions for the projects if there are older actors/ adult actors involved. They just have to go on set, act, and then go home and play, and live privately, away from tabloids and the media.
I think the saddest part is that so much of this behaviour is normalised in Hollywood, not many children even realise they’re being abused. I remember seeing somewhere Brooke Sheilds defended a Calvin Klein campaign she did in the 80s that had hidden innuendos and made her do these sexy poses when she was only 16. In her case I think there is a lot of denial also, you know like “ignorance is bliss” kind of thing because I can’t imagine how terrifying and heartbreaking it must be to realise your whole career was built because adults thought you were sexy when you where young. It’s honestly disgusting and so incredibly sad, I wish the best for Janette, she’s earned it.
I just watched a short doco on Jodie Foster who is around the same age and same deal. I really like some of her early performances because she is incredibly talented but my god people would be blowing up Twitter over stuff like Taxi Driver today. Even the way the girls are dressed in Bugsy Malone.
What I find uncomfortable about brook shields career skyrocket as a minor are some of the men that were working on set that found her not just as an attractive individual but that they thought she was sexy and some of them were probably married/had older children…
It’s ironic you mention Stranger Things as Millie as been rumored for years to be exploited by her parents from a young age and that’s part of the reason why she was allowed to have that horrible boyfriend.. I really hope the whole idea of child actors could be supervised better.
@@athenajaxon2397 I am talking about the influencer one that went into TikTok to speak details about their relationship (disclosing that he lived with Millie and her parents and that they had sex and dated while she was minor and he was over 18). I am not talking about her current boyfriend
I really appreciate Bo Burnham for the way he treated the actress for 8th grade. He made sure no one made fun of her, never left her out of the presence of her parents, every scene was explained to her very carefully, especially the car scene. When they filmed everyone in bathing suits they were very careful with their comfort, or the banana scene, Bo took everyone out of the room and left her on her own, as to avoid any embarrassment or bullying from the crew (which was small either way)
People shouldn't become parents if they're going to put their owns dreams and interests before their child's 🙅♀ and social media/fame makes this problem 100 times worse
I think about what Alyson Stoner said about having a person who’s job is to be a child counselor or advocate for those children is important. I think that would be a good way to protect the child, but of course there are also loopholes and potential issues with that as well. It is a situation that needs to be address, but can be in soooo many different ways. Interesting video, love to listen to these types of videos!
I love Alyson Stoner advocating for child actors, they're really doing an amazing job speaking out and encouraging more former child start to speak out as well
I'm very worried about Colleen ballingers kids. She brings her oldest on stage and says her fans are "mommy's friends", shares stories about him potty training or talking about inappropriate topics (and then has her husband sexualize it) and will show details like their neighborhood, the outside of their rental house, what rooms they sleep in, etc. I️ hope that they will be okay
Wait, what? I stopped following her videos after I finding out how she can’t take responsibility for hurting others. But I had no idea she’s also sexualizing her kids now ? So gross
You are not correct about Colleen and her kids. It’s fine to think she overshares and all that. But her son has only gone to like 2 of her shows. Her husband most certainly doesn’t sexual anything the their child says. She does show her kids in her vlogs. There are plenty of valid reasons that she as a parent can find to be too much, but her kids aren’t the point of her vlogs she just started daily clogging while everyone was home. As for her brother yes he has a family vlog, but I think they have a channel that isn’t too intrusive and the kids aren’t the only point of their videos.
@@melissacoviello2886 her kids are the main point ? Most of the time they are in the thumbnail or in the title . It’s still exploitation and they can’t consent to being in the videos / shows
“she deserves a pulitzer prize for getting gen z to read” 😭😂 LMAO the way this is the first book i’ve read cover to cover in probably like 2 or 3+ years 💀 and so worth it! i’ve loved her for so long and have listened to her pod for a while now. i’m so glad that this book is getting the attention it deserves and will hopefully influence the way society thinks about child stardom as a whole. incredible video!! new fan and subscriber 🥰
@@kellyjenkins9398so you hate authors? Should no one ever write ever again because not one person will buy their books? Not one person cares about reading?
@@Imjustkendall that's not what I said nor what I met. As a general rule reading has not been something I enjoy. This book was an exception for me in a lot of ways and has gotten me to try reading books, for fun, again. When did I say I hate authors?
@@ImjustkendallWoah, now you’re putting words in their mouth. They never said anything like that, sounds to me like you need to take some reading comprehension classes
I’m kinda late to the party but i think you should read Michelle Zauner’s memoir ‘Crying in H Mart’ it’s also about her relationship with her dead mother but it’s a different dynamic and captures the ups and downs of Asian mothers and their Asian-American daughters. It made me cry so much.
I feel the social media star equivalent to Jennette is Eugenia Cooney, with her being the financial support of her family and her mother encouraging her to be forever child-like to never lose her appeal to the internet. Even the hoarding thing matches tbh. And she adooores her mother too when she's not trying to help her at all.
it would be such a blessing if eugenia's mom died tbh... but not sure if eugenia could ever make the kind of progress Jennette has made w realizing how abusive her mom is etc... in a fantasy universe Jennette would be the best counselor for Eugenia... but i hope she reads the book someday
@@teresarivasugaz2313 Her mother has actively enabled and encouraged her eating disorder. That family seems to have an odd relationship with food, because she has a brother who's morbidly obese.
I’ve always wondered what kind of/how much bullying those kids in family vlogging channels face. Like imagine all of your peers being able to go online and watch you grow up, make mistakes, have your first milestones at their fingertips. Absolutely not!! It’s mortifying.
I really hope more child labor laws about entertainment come to fruition. People are looking more closely at kids becoming famous RUclipsrs and tiktokkers with the "help" of their family and then seeing child stars we grew up coming out with horrific stories. Even kids on social media who aren't famous have insane issues with their identity and people's perspection of them. I'm so relieved I wasn't allowed on social media.
That’s what I find interesting. Obviously the child laws now are not perfect, but there are a lot of instances where actors that are filling grown adults are playing teenagers (due to child labor laws concerning acting) and that specific type of casting gets highly criticized for being ‘unrealistic’ but the only alternative to that is to increase the already questionable demand for child actors which increase the risk for children to be exposed to things they shouldn’t have to long term in the industry concerning abuse and neglect from others. Even if we can’t ban the act of them, what kind of laws can be taken place if their guardian(s) who are likely to maybe be exploitive by nature by putting their kid in this line of work (like Jeannette, the child actor form Home alone, etc) going to do if they reach enough success to enable such behavior?
I hope this conversation is transitory across other entertainment platforms regarding children in the spotlight - especially places like TikTok or RUclips. With movies/shows, children are technically not playing “themselves” and their on screen mistakes are placed on a fictional character. but with social media a lot of parents are exposing their children’s REAL lives as content. The permanence to personhood in social media is terrifying.
i thought this book was incredible and i can’t even put into words my full thought after having read it the day it came out. just the expression of the mental health struggles and eating disorder struggest felt so accurate and relatable to my childhood in so many ways while still being so different. i was in tears (several times to be honestly) reading about the lengths she would go to keep her mom from getting angry as a *c h i l d* and and samesies with the ocd, it just hit so close to home and im just so sad to know that she and so many other child stars have and probably will continue to grow up like this exactly and we’ll never know, just like you said!
I’m convinced Millie Bobbie Brown is gonna have a tell all book about all the shit she has been through, her relationship with the dude that played papa is weird af. In that 20 min video for ST4 they told each other they loved each other and Mille said they lived together during & she GRABBED HIS HAND. On top of all that shit the internet has said about her, I’m just worried for Millie 😅 I love her & hope is all innocent with the papa dude he just gives me Dan Schneider
Then there was the situation with Drake a couple of years back where they apparently had private conversations over text and were "close friends" when she was like 13? I hope she's doing okay.
I have a feeling she was constantly groomed too and it extended to brainwashing bec she acts cool with all adults as if it's normal for adults to be that friendly to her. i think she was conditioned to think it's ok to act like she's in her 20's bec i would catch a glimpse of her outfits outside of the show or interviews and she doesn't look like a kid. someone pointed it out on tumblr and twitter how compared to her co-stars in ST, she seemed to dress up more "grown up" ie with heavy make up, over-the-top dress, meanwhile her male co-stars seemed like they're allowed to be kids in interviews and etc.
I finished the book last night and felt the exact same way. Like so sad it was over and just needed to keep talking about it and convince everyone else to read. The part of the book where she was getting help and in recovery was the part where I really couldn't put it down like you read about all this shit she faced and now the mountain she is having to climb to recover. I feel so proud of her to have been able to do that and be in a place now to write this book. I hope others who suffered are able to work through it and get to this same place of strength to write their tell alls but it's also completely ok to me if they don't. Jennette had some immense strength to write this that we can't expect from others. ALSO I had the same thought about Miles to Go!!! I sat here trying to remember the last celebrity memoir I read and I'm pretty sure it was that...I remember thinking it was an amazing book and now I'm here like wtf did Miley have to talk about to fill a whole book when she was still actively in a Disney contract in a book marketed to kids
I think Hollywood should create a paid position that is an advocate for child actors. Like a third party that speaks with the child about consent to what they are doing. Outside the influence of managers, studios, or even parents. Truly assesses the situation from an objective point of view, and notifies either the parents or the studio, or the police, if an abusive situation is happening. And I feel so bad for child RUclipsrs because I truly have no idea how to protect them😔
As a person who has gone through all types of abuse I understood the book completely. The sad part about abuse is that abuse survives under secrecy and being swept under the rug. but once it’s exposed all hell breaks lose. I also really like the fact that you touched on how we need to as a society watch and think critically about the things we watch and consume because whether we like it or not it shapes our world views, and beliefs subconsciously. Going back on child actors and stars is that what I’ve noticed is that as the world changes and society’s modernizes children are experiencing less of their childhood and becoming adults mentally before they ever actually are. Children aren’t being seem as people individually but just beings to live through because they have no say and can be easily manipulated. I think about it everyday how I was never really allowed to be a child and took on responsibility’s that I wasn’t supposed to have. Young people are just becoming commodities . It’s a sad reality to live in truly.
I am so glad my mom never entertained my 8 year old dreams of being a Disney child star, I scoured the internet for Disney auditions (I was obsessed with Selena Gomez and wanted to be in a show/movie with her) I begged my mom and she explained to me that being a child star is dangerous. I was angry with her at the time but I'm so glad now. I can't believe there are parents who actually do push their kids in these industries, do they have no sense of danger or care for their children?
There was a child star who's mother went with him to sets and was able to protect him from creepy people. She even kept him away from Hollywood parties and now he's trying to warn people about pedophilia in Hollywood.
Some kids want to do it. If you’re able to take care of your kids properly while they’re acting it can be fine. Zendaya and Selena Gomez seem fine to me. It just really depends on the parents and the type of people on the cast/producing the show.
@@Alici_Evans I just think it's very irresponsible to put your kids in acting despite being as safe as possible. Kids don't need to work nor should they financially support their families, it's gross. Zendaya and Selena may seem fine, but you don't know the childhood they had. Even if they did have a good time, that doesn't mean they didn't miss out on having a normal childhood.
@@rewdskwid They definitely shouldn’t be the financial support of the family. I’m just saying that there’s ways to make sure they turn out okay and have a still normal childhood. You can still be a child actor and not show your face/reveal who you are on the internet. I saw someone mention this show called “Bluey” and its on Disney. Apparently, they never revealed the faces behind the voices of the kid characters. That seems like one of the best ways to do it, in my opinion.
Haven't got to read/ listen to her book yet but I'm glad she's bringing to light the fact that mums can be abusive too and that you don't have to respect or love them when they've caused you lasting damage. Myself and a handful of my friends have been abused by our mothers to varying degrees and have been told not to speak ill of them whenever we've criticized their actions and I think that shit needs to stop. Not all mothers are good caring people who can do no wrong, which in itself is a sexist attitude but that's a different conversation.
15:23 - 15:45 THIS!!!! This honestly reminded me of a family member that had been pretty terrible to another one of our family members her whole childhood, and after hearing he might of passed away, she told me that she wouldn’t mind if he died. At first it kind of surprised me that she even said that, but I later realized that even if he had passed away it wouldn’t take away the years of trauma he put her through.
Jennette's book is next on my list! Right now I'm reading 'Maybe You Should Talk To Someone' by Lori Gottlieb and I can't recommend it enough. About therapy, mental health, self-love. Thought-provoking and self-reflecting!
this reminds me of a quote from sarah lynn, a fictional child star from bojack. ''it's amazing that it's legal for kids to be actors. how is that not child labor? i didn't know what i was signing up for, i was three.''
i feel that americans especially have always had a fascination with child stars who "fall" (think judy garland, mary kate and ashley olsen, lindsey lohan). it's considered to be shameful that these people didn't end up "okay". as if it's strange that kids who were shoved in a spotlight as children (esp. mary-kate and ashley) would end up going through mental health issues. jennette being so open about her experience is so important in changing laws when it comes to profiting off of children in media.
I literally sat in awe after finishing this book in one sitting. I feel so bad for what Jennette went through but was so glad she shared her story. After reading it I literally went and thanked my mother for not being like that. It was so sickening reading what she went through but also so encouraging to know that she came back and is fighting through her problems today.
I love how brutally honest in this book because I know it’s so relatable for so many people. I was a huge fan of Icarly and seeing the behind the scenes of this show really puts it into perspective
I listened to the book on audible (literally in like a day, I couldn’t stop listening). And Jesus, that woman went through so fucking much. She reminds me so muchof my mom who went through very similar shit with her mom. Stuff that affects her to this day and her parenting towards me growing up. What makes Jeanette’s story more devastating too me is how much of her life was taken away from her and none of us knew. It makes me feel guilty for enjoying ICarly and Sam and cat, being sad when they both ended, knowing now that she was suffering so much. Even well into her adulthood. Similarly to what you said, no one talks enough about how doing this fame shit so young and so under-developed is so harmful. I don’t think child actors should necessarily not do it, because there are plenty of children who definitely like doing it. But there has to be more of a strict system to make sure that these kids aren’t being forced and to protect them from aspects of fame. Either way, please read or listen to Jeannette’s book because it will really open your eyes. You might needs some tissues because I did lol.
love this video. i do think though that instead of advocating for child actors to decreese we should advocate for compamies and society itself to stop treating them as we now know they do. Just because they are children doesnt mean they should stop doing what they want just because "it'll ruin them" cuz thats not fair too. Not only should they have the right and choice to talk about what they want and be listened to but also to be respected and not treated like either a perfect angel or a small adult or straight-up get abused just becasuse they're children. Hope that makes sense, but im glad you've brought this topic and Jennette's story into youtube cuz it's such a necessary thing to talk about definetly.
I’m absolutely happy that her mother is gone for good. As someone who grew up in a terribly emotionally unstable home I only wish two things; 1) I wish my parents never stayed married. The should have divorced with the first week of marriage 2) I wish my dad would either just die or leave for good so that I can be free from the bondage of still being in contact with him
That's exactly how I feel, too. I grew up with an emotionally unstable dad and an overly-controlling mother. Those things you wish for? I wish for them too. Sometimes, I feel like the day I'll be far away from at least my dad, or the day he'll die, will be the day I can finally breathe. And I don't mean it in an asshole way, but because I live under constant pressure, and the day they won't be in my life anymore, will also be the day I can be finally sure that the abuse is entirely over. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you this to tell you that you are not alone. You, me, and countless others go through the same every day. Jennette's book helped me feel understood and gave me hope for a better future. We'll get through this. One step at a time.
I haven't read the book but I've heard soooo much about it. It's crazy to look back on the episodes and see how weird it actually is. I'm glad she came out and published her story
This book showed how parents will use their kids to fulfill their dreams and live vicariously through them in the worst way. It shows how some parents genuinely do not give a shit about their child’s needs unless they specifically live out their fantasy. And for Jennette this situation was made so much worse by their need for money. She just became this puppet for her mother and the family breadwinner when all she wanted was to live out her childhood and have a relationship with her mother that wasn’t toxic and hateful. Her life has been so goddamn traumatic and I hope she’s healing and finding peace finally.
one thing i wanna say is i hope people genuinely read this book instead of just reading the headlines about jeanette being jealous of ariana, bc the book is so much more than that. why arent people talking about the eating disorders and parental abuse she went through?
i had to pre order this book after binging some of her podcast episodes. I read it all in about 3 days and oh my god, it was so good. So excited to hear nicoles takes cause she always has good ones.
A few celebrities I genuinely feel would put out books like this would be the boys from One Direction. After Zayn came out and spoke about his mental health struggles during his time in the band and how they were overworked, it did make me second guess if I really do want one direction to have a reunion. Their music, knowing which albums were produced on the road when they went from tour to recording without any break, it does make me emotional to listen to it.
i think millie bobbi brown might have a story like this, some of the things she’s said about her parents in interviews and about her relationship with the stranger things cast is really sad
I have such mixed feelings about child stars! Because on the one hand, I really feel like anyone under the age of like 25 even isn't equipped to handle hollywood. Like all kids should be played like that once scene in brooklyn99 where terry crews was playing a 7 year old girl and wore a sign that said '7 year old girl.' However, I also know how much is sucked for my friends and I to see grown men and women play teenagers in high school and wonder why tf we didn't look as good as they are. Like with iCarly, seeing kids who were actually 14 play 14 year olds was huge! But again with the Atrocities they face.... I don't have a good answer for it and I really don't know if there even is one!
I loved your take at the end about a person dying and how that doesn’t take away from how they were while still alive. A bad person can die a bad person. I’ve struggled with this and people in my life specifically family members and them dying and feeling guilty about not reconciling or forgiving them before they died or before they die in the future.. but them dying doesn’t just erase the things they did to me and the fact that they weren’t good people. A person doesn’t need to be forgiven and seen as a perfect person after they died because in reality they weren’t
i loved her book, i could not put it down. i could relate to her too, and i’m so happy she is getting so much support from the not just public, but i’ve seen a lot of celebrities praising her book as well. if you loved the book, i highly recommended her podcast Empty Inside!
When I watched the interview for this book I immediately got emotional as I could probably guess why it was named that way and that it would hit home. Excited to watch your commentary bc idk if I’m ready to read it yet
Seriously don’t mean to plug this here but if you loved Jennette McCurdy’s memoir, I’m sure you’ll love Not Like in the Movies by Kanako Okiron! I happen to know the author and her book is really good - it’s such a shame there’s not as much hype about it! It’s fiction of course but the core theme is about fame which I think readers whether they’ve been part of fame from the get go or not will really relate to. I feel that it’s important for self published authors to be seen as well as authors that we are familiar with. If anyone would like to read it, Kanako is more than happy to send free PDF copies over!!
When I was in 6th grade, I was at a school function and we were playing in the water, so I was wearing a swimsuit. Someone with the school took a picture of me when the DJ had started playing a Song I liked where I was excited and making a weird pose and they had permission from my mom to post it on the School's Facebook page. Now every year my mom shares this photo on her Facebook and I have told her numerous times that I DO NOT want it shared. I have people in my husbands family who can see the photo now because she tags me every time it comes up in her memories. I had a teacher in Highschool who only accepted a friend request from my mom because she told him about the embarrassing photo (SHE KNEW IT EMBARASSED ME!!!) and even though to this day she knows I don't like it and I've been having my husband, my friend, my sister, and myself reporting it and trying so hard to get it removed nothing is happening and my mom still shares it. I explained all of that to say that seeing these kids who have every moment of their life exposed makes me sick. Because I think back to that one single picture and how bad it makes me feel and I think about how these kids are going to grow up and probably hate these videos and pictures... My kids will not be posted on social media...
I haven't read that book yet, it's on my never ending TBR list... but as someone who also went through A LOT of trauma (not everything "done" by my mom, but I hate her for enabling people to abuse me), I think I might relate to it. And now that I think about it, I relate a bit to the pressure of being the "perfect child". My mom never really decided for me what I should do with my life, but it always seemed like I wasn't good enough. I've been one of the best students in most of my classes up until like middle school, but she never said anything positive about it. Her reaction to an A has always just been "oh, again?" but as soon as my grades dropped to a C or below, she told me how disappointed she is, because being good was the norm so it didn't need praise.
1:30 the showering part really got me as a person who didn't have an abusive mother. because i remember at age 13 i would get embarrassed because my mom would wash my HAIR and started to wash it myself. (she didnt care either way btw) like even at age 13 i felt i was too old for HAIR WASH so i cant imagine being given a body wash by my mother and that too unwillingly
I cant wait to hear what you thought of her book! I've been wanting to read it since it came out. (I have to eat dinner first, so your video is still on my watch later list 🥲) Edit: I watched it, and I'm so glad I did. Next step is so save up and buy the book. Love you, Nicole
Imagine having a stalker that’s been watching you since you were 4, so your parents could make some money. Are the parents even fully present in these milestones? Yea these kids are gonna have isssue issues. Reminds me of the documentary I watched on the Olsen twins
i totally feel you being sad about finishing it, i got the book back in july and am rationing it for myself 😭 i refuse to finish it even tho i could’ve easily breezed through it in a day, it’s such a hard book to put down
Okay so I’m not finished with the video and usually savor the moments BEFORE watching by giving myself a few days but… I read I’m Glad My Mom Died and though the flavor of relatability is different and MUCH more mild… the fact it’s still there is yikes! 😬 I didn’t grow up with iCarly, but I saw “Sam” and thought she was pretty. I got into Jennette’s story maybe a year or two ago when video essays were talking about Dan. She kept popping up with ambiguous messages about it. (And last year, I saw the foot fetish talk it in action! AS SOON AS I turned on my TV, I saw a “cowboy” sleeping with his feet up (he was entirely in cowboy wear but his feet were bare???), and Carly decided the best way to wake him up was to put her whole mouth over his toes?????? Who would write for a kid to do that????? *cough COUGH* Anyway, fell into Jennette’s story after seeing enmeshment under Mayim’s podcast RUclips channel… and saw Jennette was sharing HER story about enmeshment (I had just discovered the word and related to it). VERY intimate interview. My favorite. Fell into a rabbit hole and watched her Financial Diet interview, and her Iced Coffee Hour interview and became intrigued. Picked up the audiobook from the local library support Libro.fm and yes. Wow. What a life. What layers and revelations. Told my mom about it briefly and she still can’t wrap her head around how you can be glad your mom died. It’s not my place to convince, but I’m glad her mom died too. I think she shared in IG stories someone who said exactly that, so she condones those sentiments.
I listened to the audiobook, literally just finished listening to it and oh my god, she deserves everything and so much more. It's rare for me to finish books in one day (usually it's 100 page books) but this had me going 'Just one more chapter', definitely one of the best books I've read this year so far
Love what you said about mommy vloggers, especially when you mentioned the Labrants. It's such a prevalent issue. Like the Dougherty Dozen exploiting their adopted kids in ad campaigns without even properly caring for their basic needs, like haircare. Like the whole saga with the Stauffers adopting a disabled baby/child, profiting off of the YT videos and then deciding it was too difficult and rehoming/giving them back? That was some of the most twisted shit I've ever seen. Don't even get me started on the Eleanor Wren Tiktok mess... point is, quit exploiting babies and kids. For profit.
I give Jeanette Mccurdy a lot of credit for speaking out about the trauma she went through. There are not a lot of people who would be brave enough to confront the craziness she went through. This book hopefully is going to help bring awareness to the issues related to treatment towards child stars and lead to better laws to protect them from having to experience anything like Jeanette ever again. I haven’t even read the book yet, and already I can feel the power this book has.
This is literally the best book I ever read. Like once I finished it was sad it was over. I really hope they make it into a movie or documentary series.
I was really into icarly as well, and of course i didnt know the extent of it, but (like with world Disney) once i was old enough to comprehend the industry, even when i was still a young teen, i assumed it was something dark and horrible that these kids went through, this book is definitely no shock and i thought everyone was aware of this when we watched the reboot bc jeannette refused to be on it & i thought we all were aware of the reasons why
its shocking to me that this is news, as if everyone trusted nickelodeon to take care of their child laborers, like as if ppl expected the government to take care of us during covid
you talking about how we don’t know what these people are going through and we never will just reminded me of an idol i used to follow who was getting trained for his debut, his whole thing was how “normal”( aka how human he felt to an audience ) and when he opened up about his mental issues and how bad he felt and how bad he was being treated his company dropped him. immediately. how many of these kids wanted to come out about their issues but couldn’t because they needed the money for their families-
And with you pointing out those kids having possible trauma and possible tell all books in the future - based off watching commentary videos on those families, I always wondered like for all the videos they post - it could be proof in the future for how they dealt with their kids (the commentary vids show all the receipts too - making the proof harder to “cover up” for these channels).
in response to the whole "do we need to not watch movies with child stars, etc" I'm a mom now and I am constantly asked if I'll let my kid watch Disney, or Harry Potter, etc. It's weird because my parents were very religious and they have even tried to shame me for allowing my daughter to watch The Princess and the Frog because of the voo-doo man. It's so hard to limit yourself on watching -- when maybe we can be educated and then do our part in person to not judge or tweet harshly or make remarks about celebs we shouldnt and make sure our peers do the same and treat each other like humans so that people in power will treat them like humans too. and we all relate to the child star celebs because we are humans too and have pressures even pressures we get secondhand from the celebs with body issues and such. we just need to all be kinder to each other in real life and educate more so that we can know how to properly handle each other and not just be scared and ignore. idk im trying to say something obvs but i digress
i agree to not exploit your kids. it is nice to have other moms online to help educate each other. i had my daughter day 1 of lockdown so it was super lonely and everyone tried to make me feel like a unicorn because i enjoy having my daughter stay home with me while i work my full time job during the week and maintain my side photography business. so i decided to share a little on how i manage being a stay at home work from home mom, and ive met some awesome women. theres moms out there who uplift to not cover while breastfeeding. sometimes we gotta show off our kiddos. but as long as there is respect and im not abusing my kids making them take videos for a tiktok etc and im not living in a fake reality then i dont think there will be hurt. kids need to be taught the difference between what to focus on. the internet can be scary but you can choose to not look at the bad stuff and stay focused on the good parts and stay vigilant to not give away any personal information that could end up hurting anyone. 2022 is a weird time to be alive thats for sure. but i think with sex and everything - we just need more education - more giving each other grace to figure our shit out in a healthy way and adding different judgemental comments or looking down on anyone in general is not the way to do that. shaming isnt the answer but educating and trying to see perspectives and putting energy into what matters to you and staying on focused on that each day. again trying to say something and idk if its coming out right but cest la vie , bonjour.
If I remember right, Jennette had some private pics leaked like years ago and obvi it’s always wrong to expose someone’s privacy but it makes it so much more sad that she never chose to put herself in the public eye and she can’t truly live an average life because of it.
There's this girl on tiktok that recently came out about how she's the child of I guess one the earliest family bloggers and she talks bout how much she hated it and how her mother lied about her having all these illnesses. From what I remember she ended up moving in with her boyfriend to get away from her mom but her mom also didn't take care of her and had her addicted to opiates at like 8 years old. I can't remember her username but it does seem like we're already seeing the start of all of this :(
This popped up of my FYP tonight and you are talking about child stars coming out more and talking about their experiences, you called it. Quiet on set came out, and boy does it spill everything.
A title like this needs to be deserved, and Jennette earned it by miles. Had this been closer to Jamie Lynn’s Memoir I think the backlash would have been worse. Jennette bore her soul, her life, in an open and honest way, in a way that truly makes you feel like you’re reliving these moments in her life. It was by far the best read of the year for me, perhaps the best memoir I’ve ever read.
i just finished this book yesterday and my favorite youtuber makes a video about it… you’re an angel im so excited to watch this and i love the title because, same nicole.
sorry i've only just started the vid but if your previous vids are anything to go by I know this one is going to be thoughtful, insightful and engaging... Keep up the great work! :) (will comment a follow-up when I'm done I'm sure hehe)
jennette's story reminds me far too much of sarah lynn's storyline from bojack horseman. I remember how stunningly painful that storyline was to watch the first time I watched bojack, and the tragic arcs are far too similar. between the controlling parents and the SA (sarah lynn's stepfather and jennette's mom) and the manipulative male figures on set and the constant dreams of another career (architect for sarah lynn and writer for jennette), their stories reflect just how problematic the child acting industry is.
"you can be a bad person and die; and still be a bad person"
Thank you! I've been saying this forever.
in my country there is a proverb "you don't talk bad about the dead" or "you talk about the dead either positively or just don't" (its hard to translate literally)
Its stupid and probably comes from believing in souls and that they would haunt you or they wont rest or something
@@mmgs1148 i think that's pretty universal. "Don't speak ill of the dead", i think you're right about it coming from old superstitions... I think it's ridiculous. Just cause they died doesn't suddenly absolve them from the bad things they did in life.
Like that episode of Daria.
@@animegraveyard776 I could NOT agree more. Reading her book forced me to finally confront the fact that I too am an abuse survivor. I had buried it, and didn't want to deal with it.
@@Nighthawk5015frl ! ppl rlly think when a bad person dies who’s done evil n unspeakable things it suddenly “makes em a good person” or “jesus forgives all sins when we die” anyone who thinks like dat needa get out dat mindset bc wit one less abusive person who gave us trauma alive/around is one step closer ta of happiness fa us so quit tryna get us ta shed tears n speak all great things when yhu dont een kno wut we went thru let alone our abusers tru self bts bc only we did while dey only letchu see wut dey wanted yhu ta while we abused kids got duh bad parts
How often I heard „she’s your mom“ or „she didn’t mean it“…. She did it and she meant it and it’s even worse that she’s your mom.
Ugh exactly
Parents and moms in particular should stop being viewed as sacred. They *can* hate their kids
It’s a psychological warfare to realize that they never had to protect me but we just assumed they would and to not have that even though my mom said she “loved me” cruelly made my idea of love confusing and painful. =people pleaser for most of my life.
It's unfair how adults; the oldest, therefore, most mature and experienced in life, get treated like they don't know any better for mistreating their kids, while the latter is treated to always be the "bigger person" while they just started living... Make it make sense!!!
I always think "She's my mom? I'M HER DAUGHTER."
When I was a kid/teen I tried to became an “actor” and seeing kids at auditions being screamed at by their parents or in acting class knowing the weight that some kids had on their shoulders to be the bread winner in the family (when they were like ten years old) was truly disturbing.
hey i love your videos! i grew up in this industry and my lord it’s disturbing how mistreated these children are. glad that this book has opened so many conversations on these unsaid topics.
My mom said I'd be a good Disney actor when I was a kid ALOT, I remember saying that I didn't wanna be a actor and she respected my wish. This book makes me realize how fourtunate I had a mom that actually respected me or my life could've been alot worse.
@@neru1584 I thank God my mom isn't like that.
@@neru1584 even if u tries u would have never made the cut too become a Disney star
@@benjamintorres6049 yeah true lol
This book hits so hard for people who grew up watching their parents fight, witnessed violence in their childhood, or were pressured to be successful from a young age by overbearing parents. It's so important to speak out about the things she talks about in this book. Thanks for making this video
Couldn’t have said it better. I had a terrible relationship with my parents and I’m glad we have someone like her to represent people who can relate
@@khalilahd. Totally :)
i’m so glad
I relate
Perfectly put
In the beginning when you were mentioning child stars and how it shouldn’t be a thing, it reminded me of a kids Australian TV series called Bluey. The voice actors of the children in the show are kept hidden from the public to keep the kids safe and I think this should absolutely be the norm. No exploration of the children, and just in general keeping them away from the “child acting culture” I guess you could say.
Idk that about bluey, that show rlly does do everything right
I wish that the Bluey treatment was given to a lot more shows, it’s so well produced and puts the honest opinions of both children and parents in the spotlight. You can tell that the crew puts a lot of love into the creation of the show.
It also means if the kids wanna keep doing voice acting they hopefully wouldn’t be known as that voice type specifically + wouldn’t have to wreck their vocal chords when they hit puberty to keep their voices high like in other shows w kid VAs like Steven Universe. But on the other hand are they ever going to be credited for it? Like after the show ends or if they switch actors or something
Sorry 4 the thesis it’s just nice to think abt stuff not so dark sometimes
@@lisdexamphetamine this is a good question, maybe they will update the cast list like on IMDb when they are of age and want the credit to continue acting.
what also grabbed my attention in the book is when she mentioned how the creator basically gaslit her into trying his alcoholic drink and said “cmon the victorious kids drink all the time” and that concerned me deeply. I would love to hear everyone else pov who has worked with Dan S.
The sad thing is most of them probably took the hush money. Liz Gillies even ended up with a 40+ yo producer she met when she was 15/16 on the show
Avan Jogia (Beck) actually drank so much that he doesn’t even remember filming Victorious at all
100% with you on this being creepy and unacceptable but that is not what gaslighting is, it's being manipulative. these terms have meanings. schneider is MANIPULATIVE and ABUSIVE; hold him accountable, those words hold their own weights, use them.
(as an example; gaslighting her would have been convincing her to drink, and THEN going "it's not weird that i made you do that, the victorious kids drink all the time!" gaslighting is a manner of manipulation, but it's not what happened. schneider very deliberately tried to manipulate a child into drinking with him. that's what happened. hope you don't take my tone as being overly aggressive or critical; holding abusive men accountable for their actions is incredibly important and part of that is to say what they actually did, without compromise or conflation with other terms people might be number to because of (inaccurate) overuse online.)
They signed NDAs
@@marcybons yeah it sounds more like she was coerced
Bella Throne is another candid example of this. She had no choice but to get into acting after her father died in a motorcycle accident. SHE EVEN TOLD the producers she did not want to be there and that she was not funny, But they just saw it as her selling the part and gave her the role. We keep looking over these things and judging celebrities for their extremist behavior but its call just cause and effect people
I'm very interested to see how this evolves because celebrities are pretty much the central thing holding up capitalist culture at this point.
I've read quite a few former Child Star autobiographies and it seems like the only times when children actually want to be an actor is when acting is the family trade like the barrymore's.
@@Chelaxim Or like Ron Howard's parents, who did not share the Barrymore's substance abuse issues.
It’s an interesting difference the kids who worked cause they wanted to and the kids who were forced to provide for their families. Zendaya grew up in a comfortable financial position row loving parents who just wanted to give their daughter what she wanted vs Bella who was forced to work
Ariana Grande who was doing it because she wanted to and because she loved it vs Jannette McCurdy being forced to provide for her family
@@alfie6441 Ariana's parents also have their own income and they're not expecting her to provide for the family, similar to Zendaya and unlike Bella and Jannette
In my opinion, protecting child stars needs to start with keeping the parents from the finances. The Coogan Accounts should be more like 80% opposed to 15%, maybe even higher. These children should not be providing for their family, first and foremost. Second of all, the people working on these shows and these sets should be constantly monitored. Nobody with a criminal record should be working on a set with children, and if a child complains about someone abusing them, they should be removed immediately. Have inspections required of the workplace every two weeks or so, and have the hours more limited so the kids have time for school. Even having an officer of some sort on set 24/7 could make a big difference.
!!!!
this!
Things like Disney or Nickelodeon don’t really care about kids safety. My big sister, which have lost all of her children because of the extreme abuse (mentally and physically), got a job at Disney. I was so shocked, they didn’t even asked her to show her legal record or something like WHAT-
@@fishyponyo8348 My goodness, that's just horrifying! That's just so wrong, nobody with that kind of track record should be working anywhere near kids. So sad.
I think it would be wise to have a counselor on set for the kids to talk to, someone who will give them true confidentiality and who would be independently hired from outside the production studio to avoid any sort of ethical conflict. I feel like so many kids could have been saved SO MUCH heartache if someone had been able to step in and protect them without worrying about being fired.
As a child who was emotionally abused by my father but never really realizing it until my parents got divorced and I got older, I’m so glad she came out and told the truth about her feelings around her mothers death. There is such a toxic unconditional love children are expected to have towards their parents and it’s just not true. I don’t hate my father, I’ve learned to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean I love him. My life is so much better without him in it and I just will never accept him back in my life. Not loving your family members needs to be normalized. Yes he may be my biological father but in no way would I ever consider him my dad.
so trueeeeee
so sorry you had to endure what you did. i really love how much light is being shed on jennette - not only does she deserve to be given peace and prosperity for what she’s been through, but it helps others like you or even myself cope with our own trauma
*edit: spelling mistakes
It's so difficult to bear especially when said parent's love isn't even unconditional
Omg same! My dad was both emotionally and physically abusive and ofc I thought that was normal growing up. It was only AFTER my parents divorced as well did I realize he was toxic. And I also recently found out that I’ve been gaslit my whole life by him as well as found out why gaslighting means. I call him Tim instead of dad now. Blood doesn’t mean shiz to me and I’m tired of that “because family”bs excuse. Family can stab you in the back faster than any stranger on the streets. It’s even worse when it’s family that hurt you.
I really like how you included that you forgave him but you have moved past him. I honestly feel like a lot of people are hearing Jennette's story and using it as fuel to completely cut off those that they feel hurt them. I understand that she was abused 100% but it is frustrating hearing people talk about how we need to be intersectional yet are obsessed with stories of people either being 100% good or 100% bad.
This book really confirms what I’ve been thinking about society and my own childhood , that we’ve gotten to a point where we don’t see kids as human beings. When I look back at the issues I had with my own parents it really boils down to them not respecting my personhood when I was younger. Kids definitely are naïve and vulnerable in society but they’re not dumb. They may not have the vocabulary to express their feelings as well as adults but they don’t “act up” or “throw fits” for no reason. I wish we all could listen to them more instead of always saying “ I’m older than you so I know what’s best”
Yeah, we need to normalise, "I'm older than you and I DON'T KNOW what is best but we'll find out and keep finding out together"
Completely agree! And imo we also see it in the general, like, lack of interest in children's perspectives on anything? As if their age makes it impossible for them to have valuable and insightful thoughts, feelings, opinions on the world that we could ALL benefit from?? It's like adults only see kids as mindless feral creatures who must be disciplined and tolerated, not fellow members of society who we can connect to on a human level... Children's rights are such an under-discussed social justice topic it's sad :(
@Xpiayoc Yeaa exactly you have to walk with them through every step and be listening and open to them maybe going through abuse at someone else's house or something and you do not know what is going on, we like to think we do for their sake, but that is not for their sake, it is for our own. We need to drop our guard and fully accept and understand and let them know it's okay to talk about anything whether that be them being in the act of manipulated gay sex, I had no idea what it was so I wish I had known to explain it to my parents so they could reassure me that I was not a terrible human being for feeling that shame and like not being able to talk it affected me and I'm pretty sure it's caused a lot of trauma and mental health problems throughout stages of my life just always there. Now I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and finally broke free and to know who I am and figure it out almost everyday is so magical and I'm not as depressed and like very very energetic like sometimes it makes me a bit awkward to fully express myself but I try to be as curdious as possible, thank you all for being there for me and I'm so happy I can be here too! Yayyy love, love you!
1000% this!
If anyone is interested, I HIGHLY suggest learning about youth liberation. The idea is basically what's been said here. Very cool shit and incredibly validating if you've been finding yourself thinking along this line.
my parents do that sometimes.
i hate it. just because you are older than me doesnt mean you know more than i do.
when i first told them that you could do freelance work on the internet (and later, when I got paid to do freelance work on the internet), they didnt believe me at first. in fact, they only truly believed in me when i put the money in my bank account.
I loved it. I took many thing’s from the book. These are me 3.
1. I think her mother learned her behavior from her grandmother. After her mother’s passing grandma’s true colors begin to show. She is off her rocker.
2.She had one hell of a backbone to decline the 300k. Considering Ariana really never discusses her role in the show makes me question if she was offered something and took it.
3. Stop living your dream through your kids.
yesss
Two people can have different experiences with the same person
3 is a garbage statement. You should want the best for them and that should be your dream. If you find a thing they like pursue it with them. Make sure they stick with it too. If my parents wouldn’t have I’d be a shit bag now.
Maybe Ariana just doesn't care.
@@derkaderkastan420 I don’t think you get the meaning of 3. 3 is the process of vicariously living through your children by forcing them to live in a certain way and make them want what you want, even if they don’t actually want it. You shouldn’t want that.
Also, forcing your child to stick with someone you think they want is wrong as well. For one, kids aren’t always 100% on what they want. They might want to try it out and see theyre not into it. Don’t force them. Let them learn on their own and let them tell you what they want and support what they want. If they have trouble sticking to things, it’s cuz of some other issue. You might applying too much pressure, they might have ADHD/other mental disorders they need help for, etc.
My mom died just before covid and I too stand with the statement "I'm glad my mom died". People always say "you don't know what you ahve till it's gone" but I felt the opposite. The amount of relief was ridiculous
Good for you hun. It is a natural feeling to sometimes experience relief from someones death.
My mom literally tries to guilttrip and gaslight me into being more docile by telling me how badly I will miss her once she's gone. That is so disgusting because some part of me will probably miss her. The other more cynical part is just like "ok, let's see". Like how narcissistic is that of her? I thought I may be too harsh but you really showed that the immanent love bond everyone's expecting is a fraud.
@@Shirumoon It’s ridiculous, I agree. Grief is so difficult and different for all of us, and it makes it that much worse when someone tries to impose what you should feel onto us. I'm sorry that happened to you. You should grieve and feel in your own way, whatever way that is is up to you. Hope you're doing well
I feel horrible for looking forward to the days where I won't have to deal with the narcissistic abuse anymore. But it's true
I'm glad I can relate with someone.
Mistreatment of child stars has been going on as far back as Michael Jackson, Gary Coleman, Shirley Temple, etc.Some of them grow into abusers themselves or resort to drugs and whatnot. Judy Garland's story is so tragic too. I wish something would have been done decades ago. My heart goes out to Jennette and I hope her book brings about positive change.
obligatory Mozart mention. Also every royal baby in history probly lived like a child star.
The home alone kid too
These new age celebrities aren't being "awesome moms" for not placing their kids in front of a camera from the moment they're born...
They're just being normal parents, like that should be bare minimum...
tbh i think the hyping them up like that is more sort of a response to general misogyny than like, the child star issue itself. no matter what a woman does as a mother, especially a famous one, she's criticized and hated on. so a little bit of praise for celebrity moms who do decide to do the actual right thing for the sake of their children is more than fair imo. also you're totally right and it IS the bare minimum but more people need to do it and it SHOULD be encouraged and that's hard to do without... encouraging it you know? also if we hype up these moms for doing this (esp online), who knows, maybe some woman who's thinking about making her little kid the next tiktok star happens to see it and reconsiders.
They replaced leaders and politics with a-list celebrities
This ages me but look at Mary Kate and Ashley, they were insanely popular since they were just BABIES! I can't even imagine what it would have been like growing up on movie sets
Yes but at least they had each other ....and they both got out once they could recognise they didn't want to do it
Those poor girls’ lives have been a traumatic disaster and I feel so bad for them.
Their mom even considered pulling them out of filming Full House so they could live a normal childhood…..until they offered money
Oh yea those 2 suffered a lot of emotional turmoil, didn’t they struggle with severe ED? So sad
This book was excellent but listening to Jennette read the audiobook version was horrible and heartbreaking.
oh no i just got it oin audiobook... welp wish me luck!
That section where her voice even broke made me cry while driving. You can feel her pain 🥺
I'm super traumatized with the audiobook....
I read the audio book and I'm so glad I did. The raw emotions of the book, even her tearing up in one part. Best way to read it I think
the audio killed me
As someone, that deals with family trauma and trying to process it through therapy, Jennette has gave an amazingingly heartfelt view that it is okay to not forgive our abusers. People say forgiveness is the ultimate thing you can do for yourself but I think its even stronger to stay true to yourself and not let them have that forgiveness
i don't believe in the whole ideal of forgiveness being onesided. forgiveness, just like love, friendship, trust, and many other interpersonal bonding types, is a two way street. i cannot forgive someone if they make no effort to change or even acknowledge the suffering they've caused. i can choose to let go of my anger for my own peace and mental health, but that doesn't mean including someone that has hurt me in my life. it doesn't mean accepting what they've done as "just the way life is", etc. i wish more people realized it.q
Yes I also believe in not forgiving abusers. But certainly not 'caring' about your abusers and just live your life. Never forgive, never forget, but also never let them impact your life anymore.
Forgiveness is misunderstood. It's letting go of all that anger and resentment. It's not letting them back in your life or trusting them again or anything like that. Holding on to that anger for a long time is like drinking poison and expecting it to harm the other person, when it actually ends up harming you. To be able to forgive is a gift. Forgiveness is not trusting again, it is letting go and accepting what happened. It is okay to feel anger but holding on to it for a long time is not good for you and will not help you heal.
EXACTLY. i am so tired of people saying that in order to heal and move on you have to forgive. it would be a disservice to me to forgive. i believe that for some people, not forgiving is the most healing thing you can do.
@@shootingstars6762 the issue is that most people say that forgiveness is the only way to heal. and they don’t mean “forgiveness” in this way. they mean “forget about it, leave it alone, let bygones be bygones”. and i don’t think healing is possible if u just forgive your abuser and forget about it
Having an abusive parent creates so many conflicting feelings. Kids are hardwired to love their parents for their own survival. Society expects kids to love their parents so unconditionally that it borders on worship. But you DO grow to hate that abusive parent and at the same time feel a lot of guilt. So yes, you can feel relief if an abusive parent dies because it means they can't actively abuse you anymore. People who grew up in "happy, normal families" will NEVER understand.
This book really solidified for me that family and mommy vloggers/tiktokers need to not exist. They have even less protection than child stars and even child stars don’t even have a lot
More people need to be told that NDA are not valid if illegal things go on
daniel radcliffe's story stands out to me as probably one of the best possible scenarios that could come from a child star. if there does continue to be "child stars" in the future, it should be like the gold standard for any child that genuinely wants to be in that kind of business
dan was struggling with alcoholism while shooting harry potter. if even an apparent 'best case scenario' from a kid who wanted to get into the business ends up in alcoholism imagine the rest…
@@dledee he confirmed in an interview that it wasn’t alcoholism. He was just a regular 18 year old boy who drank too much like we all do when we can legally drink and tabloids took it too far saying he had drinking problems.
There’s a big drinking culture in the UK and a lot of teenagers drink to excess because they know they can.
Doesn’t make him an alcoholic, just a regular teenager turning up hungover from the night before.
@@jimmehsullivan123 it's scary how drinking large amounts of alcohol very often is so normalized oh no it's not alcoholism it's just teenagers/young adults having fun consuming a substance that harms their bodies
@@tamara10 Yeah the UK has a problem but he's no different from a lot of teenagers. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but that he even said so himself he wasn't an alcoholic. I feel that Daniel Radcliffe always gets labelled as one and it wasn't the case, it was people twisting his words and calling him an alcoholic because he was still drunk from the night before while on set.
What teenager hasn't turned up to a uni lecture the next day still drunk? It's just common in young people - I've done it myself and as you get older the fascination wears off. Drinking is a new experience when you're young and you tend to make silly mistakes like that. Also our legal drinking age Is younger than in the US, so most of Uni (College) revolves around drinking.
I spent most of my uni days getting drunk - doesn't make me an alcoholic though.
@@jimmehsullivan123 glad his drinking habits weren't as bad as the media portrayed them to be. Still drinking large amounts of alcohol shouldn't be normalized like it is. It's a problem in a lot of places. Where I'm from 18 is the legal drinking age but teens start drinking younger usually around 14, 15
i wanted so badly to be an actress when i was a child. (around 9/10) i auditioned for a role and got a callback on a little show you may or may not have heard of (something something suite life of something something) and my mom had a bad feeling and just didn’t let me go to the callback. she was once also an actress and knew about the ill treatment towards kids and didn’t want me to go through anything that wasn’t necessary. I was upset for years but I’m glad she stopped me.
Wow and now look at the other people on that show. Well I love that one of them chose to have a humble career after
@@lizi.2503 yeah im really glad she stopped me 😭 and even more so now with the veil being lifted off these giant corps.
your mom has a good intuition and strong head on her shoulders good for her I’m so glad you didn’t come close to this kind of exploitation because no one deserves it
Weren't some convicted predators working on that show?
i think some kids really can enjoy acting as long as they are protected - the more we talk about protecting children on set and holding productions as well as parents accountable, the better.
1000%🙌🏽🙌🏽
Also, I can add those kids should only be working on set. No interviews, no late time appearances, no talk shows, it shouldn't be their job to do the promotions for the projects if there are older actors/ adult actors involved. They just have to go on set, act, and then go home and play, and live privately, away from tabloids and the media.
@@JPLEYONKO4 yea. Maybe they can do liek a couple interviews or like 1 press conference and that’s it. No sponsership deals, no paparazzi.
I think the saddest part is that so much of this behaviour is normalised in Hollywood, not many children even realise they’re being abused. I remember seeing somewhere Brooke Sheilds defended a Calvin Klein campaign she did in the 80s that had hidden innuendos and made her do these sexy poses when she was only 16. In her case I think there is a lot of denial also, you know like “ignorance is bliss” kind of thing because I can’t imagine how terrifying and heartbreaking it must be to realise your whole career was built because adults thought you were sexy when you where young. It’s honestly disgusting and so incredibly sad, I wish the best for Janette, she’s earned it.
I just watched a short doco on Jodie Foster who is around the same age and same deal. I really like some of her early performances because she is incredibly talented but my god people would be blowing up Twitter over stuff like Taxi Driver today. Even the way the girls are dressed in Bugsy Malone.
@@madis4913 link to doco?
What I find uncomfortable about brook shields career skyrocket as a minor are some of the men that were working on set that found her not just as an attractive individual but that they thought she was sexy and some of them were probably married/had older children…
I think she was also underage when blue lagoon was filmed. And was paired up with a guy who's an adult.
@@leahiddlebarnes in the blue lagoon, I believe the guy was around 17 and brook being 11 or 12?
It’s ironic you mention Stranger Things as Millie as been rumored for years to be exploited by her parents from a young age and that’s part of the reason why she was allowed to have that horrible boyfriend.. I really hope the whole idea of child actors could be supervised better.
Wait why is he horrible?
@@athenajaxon2397 I am talking about the influencer one that went into TikTok to speak details about their relationship (disclosing that he lived with Millie and her parents and that they had sex and dated while she was minor and he was over 18). I am not talking about her current boyfriend
so excited to watch this!! nicole's commentary era is golden
No but actually 💜
I really appreciate Bo Burnham for the way he treated the actress for 8th grade. He made sure no one made fun of her, never left her out of the presence of her parents, every scene was explained to her very carefully, especially the car scene. When they filmed everyone in bathing suits they were very careful with their comfort, or the banana scene, Bo took everyone out of the room and left her on her own, as to avoid any embarrassment or bullying from the crew (which was small either way)
People shouldn't become parents if they're going to put their owns dreams and interests before their child's 🙅♀ and social media/fame makes this problem 100 times worse
Yeaaaa.. remember that mother who's son was crying after putting down their dog and all she was worried about was getting a good thumbnail.
@@John-Doe-Yo crazyyy, lost all sense of reality
I think about what Alyson Stoner said about having a person who’s job is to be a child counselor or advocate for those children is important. I think that would be a good way to protect the child, but of course there are also loopholes and potential issues with that as well. It is a situation that needs to be address, but can be in soooo many different ways. Interesting video, love to listen to these types of videos!
Alyson’s video is a MUST WATCH
I love Alyson Stoner advocating for child actors, they're really doing an amazing job speaking out and encouraging more former child start to speak out as well
I'm very worried about Colleen ballingers kids. She brings her oldest on stage and says her fans are "mommy's friends", shares stories about him potty training or talking about inappropriate topics (and then has her husband sexualize it) and will show details like their neighborhood, the outside of their rental house, what rooms they sleep in, etc. I️ hope that they will be okay
Wait, what? I stopped following her videos after I finding out how she can’t take responsibility for hurting others. But I had no idea she’s also sexualizing her kids now ? So gross
She constantly shows them in her videos ever since they are born. Her brother is the same with his kids, but even more so. It's so sad.
Although I think that’s a problem, Colleen is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to family channels and children exploited on RUclips
You are not correct about Colleen and her kids. It’s fine to think she overshares and all that. But her son has only gone to like 2 of her shows. Her husband most certainly doesn’t sexual anything the their child says. She does show her kids in her vlogs. There are plenty of valid reasons that she as a parent can find to be too much, but her kids aren’t the point of her vlogs she just started daily clogging while everyone was home. As for her brother yes he has a family vlog, but I think they have a channel that isn’t too intrusive and the kids aren’t the only point of their videos.
@@melissacoviello2886 her kids are the main point ? Most of the time they are in the thumbnail or in the title . It’s still exploitation and they can’t consent to being in the videos / shows
“she deserves a pulitzer prize for getting gen z to read” 😭😂 LMAO the way this is the first book i’ve read cover to cover in probably like 2 or 3+ years 💀 and so worth it! i’ve loved her for so long and have listened to her pod for a while now. i’m so glad that this book is getting the attention it deserves and will hopefully influence the way society thinks about child stardom as a whole. incredible video!! new fan and subscriber 🥰
I’m 27 and this was literally the first book I’ve read since high school.
Same! I hate reading, I love this book!
@@kellyjenkins9398so you hate authors? Should no one ever write ever again because not one person will buy their books? Not one person cares about reading?
@@Imjustkendall that's not what I said nor what I met. As a general rule reading has not been something I enjoy. This book was an exception for me in a lot of ways and has gotten me to try reading books, for fun, again. When did I say I hate authors?
@@ImjustkendallWoah, now you’re putting words in their mouth. They never said anything like that, sounds to me like you need to take some reading comprehension classes
I’m kinda late to the party but i think you should read Michelle Zauner’s memoir ‘Crying in H Mart’ it’s also about her relationship with her dead mother but it’s a different dynamic and captures the ups and downs of Asian mothers and their Asian-American daughters. It made me cry so much.
I feel the social media star equivalent to Jennette is Eugenia Cooney, with her being the financial support of her family and her mother encouraging her to be forever child-like to never lose her appeal to the internet. Even the hoarding thing matches tbh. And she adooores her mother too when she's not trying to help her at all.
it would be such a blessing if eugenia's mom died tbh... but not sure if eugenia could ever make the kind of progress Jennette has made w realizing how abusive her mom is etc... in a fantasy universe Jennette would be the best counselor for Eugenia... but i hope she reads the book someday
I just Googled her, poor woman is evidently emaciated and despite that, her mother still expects her to be her moneymaking machine‽‽‽ Just awful.
@@teresarivasugaz2313 Her mother has actively enabled and encouraged her eating disorder. That family seems to have an odd relationship with food, because she has a brother who's morbidly obese.
I’ve always wondered what kind of/how much bullying those kids in family vlogging channels face. Like imagine all of your peers being able to go online and watch you grow up, make mistakes, have your first milestones at their fingertips. Absolutely not!! It’s mortifying.
I really hope more child labor laws about entertainment come to fruition. People are looking more closely at kids becoming famous RUclipsrs and tiktokkers with the "help" of their family and then seeing child stars we grew up coming out with horrific stories.
Even kids on social media who aren't famous have insane issues with their identity and people's perspection of them. I'm so relieved I wasn't allowed on social media.
That’s what I find interesting. Obviously the child laws now are not perfect, but there are a lot of instances where actors that are filling grown adults are playing teenagers (due to child labor laws concerning acting) and that specific type of casting gets highly criticized for being ‘unrealistic’ but the only alternative to that is to increase the already questionable demand for child actors which increase the risk for children to be exposed to things they shouldn’t have to long term in the industry concerning abuse and neglect from others. Even if we can’t ban the act of them, what kind of laws can be taken place if their guardian(s) who are likely to maybe be exploitive by nature by putting their kid in this line of work (like Jeannette, the child actor form Home alone, etc) going to do if they reach enough success to enable such behavior?
I hope this conversation is transitory across other entertainment platforms regarding children in the spotlight - especially places like TikTok or RUclips. With movies/shows, children are technically not playing “themselves” and their on screen mistakes are placed on a fictional character. but with social media a lot of parents are exposing their children’s REAL lives as content. The permanence to personhood in social media is terrifying.
She literally put her entire soul into that book!!!!!!!! wow how amazing!
i thought this book was incredible and i can’t even put into words my full thought after having read it the day it came out. just the expression of the mental health struggles and eating disorder struggest felt so accurate and relatable to my childhood in so many ways while still being so different. i was in tears (several times to be honestly) reading about the lengths she would go to keep her mom from getting angry as a *c h i l d* and and samesies with the ocd, it just hit so close to home and im just so sad to know that she and so many other child stars have and probably will continue to grow up like this exactly and we’ll never know, just like you said!
I’m convinced Millie Bobbie Brown is gonna have a tell all book about all the shit she has been through, her relationship with the dude that played papa is weird af. In that 20 min video for ST4 they told each other they loved each other and Mille said they lived together during & she GRABBED HIS HAND. On top of all that shit the internet has said about her, I’m just worried for Millie 😅 I love her & hope is all innocent with the papa dude he just gives me Dan Schneider
Then there was the situation with Drake a couple of years back where they apparently had private conversations over text and were "close friends" when she was like 13? I hope she's doing okay.
where r her parents
I have a feeling she was constantly groomed too and it extended to brainwashing bec she acts cool with all adults as if it's normal for adults to be that friendly to her. i think she was conditioned to think it's ok to act like she's in her 20's bec i would catch a glimpse of her outfits outside of the show or interviews and she doesn't look like a kid. someone pointed it out on tumblr and twitter how compared to her co-stars in ST, she seemed to dress up more "grown up" ie with heavy make up, over-the-top dress, meanwhile her male co-stars seemed like they're allowed to be kids in interviews and etc.
@@igowra747 pimping her out while they snatch any semblance of a healthy future from under her
@@Luna-ln7qh how am i surprised
I finished the book last night and felt the exact same way. Like so sad it was over and just needed to keep talking about it and convince everyone else to read. The part of the book where she was getting help and in recovery was the part where I really couldn't put it down like you read about all this shit she faced and now the mountain she is having to climb to recover. I feel so proud of her to have been able to do that and be in a place now to write this book. I hope others who suffered are able to work through it and get to this same place of strength to write their tell alls but it's also completely ok to me if they don't. Jennette had some immense strength to write this that we can't expect from others. ALSO I had the same thought about Miles to Go!!! I sat here trying to remember the last celebrity memoir I read and I'm pretty sure it was that...I remember thinking it was an amazing book and now I'm here like wtf did Miley have to talk about to fill a whole book when she was still actively in a Disney contract in a book marketed to kids
I think Hollywood should create a paid position that is an advocate for child actors. Like a third party that speaks with the child about consent to what they are doing. Outside the influence of managers, studios, or even parents. Truly assesses the situation from an objective point of view, and notifies either the parents or the studio, or the police, if an abusive situation is happening.
And I feel so bad for child RUclipsrs because I truly have no idea how to protect them😔
As a person who has gone through all types of abuse I understood the book completely. The sad part about abuse is that abuse survives under secrecy and being swept under the rug. but once it’s exposed all hell breaks lose. I also really like the fact that you touched on how we need to as a society watch and think critically about the things we watch and consume because whether we like it or not it shapes our world views, and beliefs subconsciously. Going back on child actors and stars is that what I’ve noticed is that as the world changes and society’s modernizes children are experiencing less of their childhood and becoming adults mentally before they ever actually are. Children aren’t being seem as people individually but just beings to live through because they have no say and can be easily manipulated. I think about it everyday how I was never really allowed to be a child and took on responsibility’s that I wasn’t supposed to have. Young people are just becoming commodities . It’s a sad reality to live in truly.
I am so glad my mom never entertained my 8 year old dreams of being a Disney child star, I scoured the internet for Disney auditions (I was obsessed with Selena Gomez and wanted to be in a show/movie with her) I begged my mom and she explained to me that being a child star is dangerous. I was angry with her at the time but I'm so glad now. I can't believe there are parents who actually do push their kids in these industries, do they have no sense of danger or care for their children?
There was a child star who's mother went with him to sets and was able to protect him from creepy people. She even kept him away from Hollywood parties and now he's trying to warn people about pedophilia in Hollywood.
Some kids want to do it. If you’re able to take care of your kids properly while they’re acting it can be fine. Zendaya and Selena Gomez seem fine to me. It just really depends on the parents and the type of people on the cast/producing the show.
@@Alici_Evans I just think it's very irresponsible to put your kids in acting despite being as safe as possible. Kids don't need to work nor should they financially support their families, it's gross. Zendaya and Selena may seem fine, but you don't know the childhood they had. Even if they did have a good time, that doesn't mean they didn't miss out on having a normal childhood.
@@rewdskwid They definitely shouldn’t be the financial support of the family. I’m just saying that there’s ways to make sure they turn out okay and have a still normal childhood. You can still be a child actor and not show your face/reveal who you are on the internet. I saw someone mention this show called “Bluey” and its on Disney. Apparently, they never revealed the faces behind the voices of the kid characters. That seems like one of the best ways to do it, in my opinion.
Haven't got to read/ listen to her book yet but I'm glad she's bringing to light the fact that mums can be abusive too and that you don't have to respect or love them when they've caused you lasting damage. Myself and a handful of my friends have been abused by our mothers to varying degrees and have been told not to speak ill of them whenever we've criticized their actions and I think that shit needs to stop. Not all mothers are good caring people who can do no wrong, which in itself is a sexist attitude but that's a different conversation.
Preach, brother.
I’m glad Nicole Rafiee is super alive and very very active recently💅🏻
Lol same
15:23 - 15:45 THIS!!!!
This honestly reminded me of a family member that had been pretty terrible to another one of our family members her whole childhood, and after hearing he might of passed away, she told me that she wouldn’t mind if he died. At first it kind of surprised me that she even said that, but I later realized that even if he had passed away it wouldn’t take away the years of trauma he put her through.
Jennette's book is next on my list! Right now I'm reading 'Maybe You Should Talk To Someone' by Lori Gottlieb and I can't recommend it enough. About therapy, mental health, self-love. Thought-provoking and self-reflecting!
It's been on my tbr for the longest time but maybe this is my sign to finally read it!!
@@dreamingofthemoon you really should, you won't be disappointed!
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I’ve read that & loved it!
this reminds me of a quote from sarah lynn, a fictional child star from bojack. ''it's amazing that it's legal for kids to be actors. how is that not child labor? i didn't know what i was signing up for, i was three.''
i feel that americans especially have always had a fascination with child stars who "fall" (think judy garland, mary kate and ashley olsen, lindsey lohan). it's considered to be shameful that these people didn't end up "okay". as if it's strange that kids who were shoved in a spotlight as children (esp. mary-kate and ashley) would end up going through mental health issues. jennette being so open about her experience is so important in changing laws when it comes to profiting off of children in media.
I literally sat in awe after finishing this book in one sitting. I feel so bad for what Jennette went through but was so glad she shared her story. After reading it I literally went and thanked my mother for not being like that. It was so sickening reading what she went through but also so encouraging to know that she came back and is fighting through her problems today.
I love how brutally honest in this book because I know it’s so relatable for so many people. I was a huge fan of Icarly and seeing the behind the scenes of this show really puts it into perspective
I listened to the book on audible (literally in like a day, I couldn’t stop listening). And Jesus, that woman went through so fucking much. She reminds me so muchof my mom who went through very similar shit with her mom. Stuff that affects her to this day and her parenting towards me growing up. What makes Jeanette’s story more devastating too me is how much of her life was taken away from her and none of us knew. It makes me feel guilty for enjoying ICarly and Sam and cat, being sad when they both ended, knowing now that she was suffering so much. Even well into her adulthood. Similarly to what you said, no one talks enough about how doing this fame shit so young and so under-developed is so harmful. I don’t think child actors should necessarily not do it, because there are plenty of children who definitely like doing it. But there has to be more of a strict system to make sure that these kids aren’t being forced and to protect them from aspects of fame. Either way, please read or listen to Jeannette’s book because it will really open your eyes. You might needs some tissues because I did lol.
love this video. i do think though that instead of advocating for child actors to decreese we should advocate for compamies and society itself to stop treating them as we now know they do. Just because they are children doesnt mean they should stop doing what they want just because "it'll ruin them" cuz thats not fair too. Not only should they have the right and choice to talk about what they want and be listened to but also to be respected and not treated like either a perfect angel or a small adult or straight-up get abused just becasuse they're children. Hope that makes sense, but im glad you've brought this topic and Jennette's story into youtube cuz it's such a necessary thing to talk about definetly.
I’m absolutely happy that her mother is gone for good. As someone who grew up in a terribly emotionally unstable home I only wish two things;
1) I wish my parents never stayed married. The should have divorced with the first week of marriage
2) I wish my dad would either just die or leave for good so that I can be free from the bondage of still being in contact with him
That's exactly how I feel, too. I grew up with an emotionally unstable dad and an overly-controlling mother. Those things you wish for? I wish for them too. Sometimes, I feel like the day I'll be far away from at least my dad, or the day he'll die, will be the day I can finally breathe. And I don't mean it in an asshole way, but because I live under constant pressure, and the day they won't be in my life anymore, will also be the day I can be finally sure that the abuse is entirely over. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you this to tell you that you are not alone. You, me, and countless others go through the same every day. Jennette's book helped me feel understood and gave me hope for a better future. We'll get through this. One step at a time.
I haven't read the book but I've heard soooo much about it. It's crazy to look back on the episodes and see how weird it actually is. I'm glad she came out and published her story
This book showed how parents will use their kids to fulfill their dreams and live vicariously through them in the worst way. It shows how some parents genuinely do not give a shit about their child’s needs unless they specifically live out their fantasy. And for Jennette this situation was made so much worse by their need for money. She just became this puppet for her mother and the family breadwinner when all she wanted was to live out her childhood and have a relationship with her mother that wasn’t toxic and hateful. Her life has been so goddamn traumatic and I hope she’s healing and finding peace finally.
crying in h mart also has an incredible perspective on grief and mommy issues!! I would recommend 100% for u to read it
one thing i wanna say is i hope people genuinely read this book instead of just reading the headlines about jeanette being jealous of ariana, bc the book is so much more than that. why arent people talking about the eating disorders and parental abuse she went through?
I'm so glad you reviewed it, she's was my and some many other's childhood.
i had to pre order this book after binging some of her podcast episodes. I read it all in about 3 days and oh my god, it was so good. So excited to hear nicoles takes cause she always has good ones.
hi nicotine
A few celebrities I genuinely feel would put out books like this would be the boys from One Direction. After Zayn came out and spoke about his mental health struggles during his time in the band and how they were overworked, it did make me second guess if I really do want one direction to have a reunion. Their music, knowing which albums were produced on the road when they went from tour to recording without any break, it does make me emotional to listen to it.
i think millie bobbi brown might have a story like this, some of the things she’s said about her parents in interviews and about her relationship with the stranger things cast is really sad
I have such mixed feelings about child stars! Because on the one hand, I really feel like anyone under the age of like 25 even isn't equipped to handle hollywood. Like all kids should be played like that once scene in brooklyn99 where terry crews was playing a 7 year old girl and wore a sign that said '7 year old girl.' However, I also know how much is sucked for my friends and I to see grown men and women play teenagers in high school and wonder why tf we didn't look as good as they are. Like with iCarly, seeing kids who were actually 14 play 14 year olds was huge! But again with the Atrocities they face.... I don't have a good answer for it and I really don't know if there even is one!
This book has been my entire personality since the day it came out and I cannot wait to hear what you have to say on it omg
weird thing to say about a book about trauma
@@xlectraheart It was a figure of speech bestie
@@annanoellegirl it’s weird
I loved your take at the end about a person dying and how that doesn’t take away from how they were while still alive. A bad person can die a bad person.
I’ve struggled with this and people in my life specifically family members and them dying and feeling guilty about not reconciling or forgiving them before they died or before they die in the future.. but them dying doesn’t just erase the things they did to me and the fact that they weren’t good people.
A person doesn’t need to be forgiven and seen as a perfect person after they died because in reality they weren’t
i loved her book, i could not put it down. i could relate to her too, and i’m so happy she is getting so much support from the not just public, but i’ve seen a lot of celebrities praising her book as well. if you loved the book, i highly recommended her podcast Empty Inside!
When I watched the interview for this book I immediately got emotional as I could probably guess why it was named that way and that it would hit home. Excited to watch your commentary bc idk if I’m ready to read it yet
Seriously don’t mean to plug this here but if you loved Jennette McCurdy’s memoir, I’m sure you’ll love Not Like in the Movies by Kanako Okiron! I happen to know the author and her book is really good - it’s such a shame there’s not as much hype about it! It’s fiction of course but the core theme is about fame which I think readers whether they’ve been part of fame from the get go or not will really relate to. I feel that it’s important for self published authors to be seen as well as authors that we are familiar with. If anyone would like to read it, Kanako is more than happy to send free PDF copies over!!
When I was in 6th grade, I was at a school function and we were playing in the water, so I was wearing a swimsuit. Someone with the school took a picture of me when the DJ had started playing a Song I liked where I was excited and making a weird pose and they had permission from my mom to post it on the School's Facebook page. Now every year my mom shares this photo on her Facebook and I have told her numerous times that I DO NOT want it shared. I have people in my husbands family who can see the photo now because she tags me every time it comes up in her memories. I had a teacher in Highschool who only accepted a friend request from my mom because she told him about the embarrassing photo (SHE KNEW IT EMBARASSED ME!!!) and even though to this day she knows I don't like it and I've been having my husband, my friend, my sister, and myself reporting it and trying so hard to get it removed nothing is happening and my mom still shares it. I explained all of that to say that seeing these kids who have every moment of their life exposed makes me sick. Because I think back to that one single picture and how bad it makes me feel and I think about how these kids are going to grow up and probably hate these videos and pictures... My kids will not be posted on social media...
I haven't read that book yet, it's on my never ending TBR list... but as someone who also went through A LOT of trauma (not everything "done" by my mom, but I hate her for enabling people to abuse me), I think I might relate to it. And now that I think about it, I relate a bit to the pressure of being the "perfect child". My mom never really decided for me what I should do with my life, but it always seemed like I wasn't good enough. I've been one of the best students in most of my classes up until like middle school, but she never said anything positive about it. Her reaction to an A has always just been "oh, again?" but as soon as my grades dropped to a C or below, she told me how disappointed she is, because being good was the norm so it didn't need praise.
1:30 the showering part really got me as a person who didn't have an abusive mother.
because i remember at age 13 i would get embarrassed because my mom would wash my HAIR and started to wash it myself. (she didnt care either way btw)
like even at age 13 i felt i was too old for HAIR WASH so i cant imagine being given a body wash by my mother and that too unwillingly
I cant wait to hear what you thought of her book! I've been wanting to read it since it came out. (I have to eat dinner first, so your video is still on my watch later list 🥲)
Edit: I watched it, and I'm so glad I did. Next step is so save up and buy the book. Love you, Nicole
I need to read this book 😭 I never thought you would make a book video but I’m so glad you did !!!
Imagine having a stalker that’s been watching you since you were 4, so your parents could make some money. Are the parents even fully present in these milestones? Yea these kids are gonna have isssue issues. Reminds me of the documentary I watched on the Olsen twins
i totally feel you being sad about finishing it, i got the book back in july and am rationing it for myself 😭 i refuse to finish it even tho i could’ve easily breezed through it in a day, it’s such a hard book to put down
Okay so I’m not finished with the video and usually savor the moments BEFORE watching by giving myself a few days but…
I read I’m Glad My Mom Died and though the flavor of relatability is different and MUCH more mild… the fact it’s still there is yikes! 😬
I didn’t grow up with iCarly, but I saw “Sam” and thought she was pretty.
I got into Jennette’s story maybe a year or two ago when video essays were talking about Dan. She kept popping up with ambiguous messages about it.
(And last year, I saw the foot fetish talk it in action! AS SOON AS I turned on my TV, I saw a “cowboy” sleeping with his feet up (he was entirely in cowboy wear but his feet were bare???), and Carly decided the best way to wake him up was to put her whole mouth over his toes??????
Who would write for a kid to do that????? *cough COUGH*
Anyway, fell into Jennette’s story after seeing enmeshment under Mayim’s podcast RUclips channel… and saw Jennette was sharing HER story about enmeshment (I had just discovered the word and related to it).
VERY intimate interview. My favorite.
Fell into a rabbit hole and watched her Financial Diet interview, and her Iced Coffee Hour interview and became intrigued.
Picked up the audiobook from the local library support Libro.fm and yes. Wow.
What a life. What layers and revelations.
Told my mom about it briefly and she still can’t wrap her head around how you can be glad your mom died.
It’s not my place to convince, but I’m glad her mom died too. I think she shared in IG stories someone who said exactly that, so she condones those sentiments.
I listened to the audiobook, literally just finished listening to it and oh my god, she deserves everything and so much more. It's rare for me to finish books in one day (usually it's 100 page books) but this had me going 'Just one more chapter', definitely one of the best books I've read this year so far
it's always "that's your mom" but never "that's your CHILD"
I’m so incredibly obsessed with your commentary era , keep thriving!🫶🏼
This has nothing to do w jennette but babe your apartment is amazing rn I am so obsessed
thank you so much!!!
❤️❤️❤️
Love what you said about mommy vloggers, especially when you mentioned the Labrants. It's such a prevalent issue. Like the Dougherty Dozen exploiting their adopted kids in ad campaigns without even properly caring for their basic needs, like haircare. Like the whole saga with the Stauffers adopting a disabled baby/child, profiting off of the YT videos and then deciding it was too difficult and rehoming/giving them back? That was some of the most twisted shit I've ever seen. Don't even get me started on the Eleanor Wren Tiktok mess... point is, quit exploiting babies and kids. For profit.
I give Jeanette Mccurdy a lot of credit for speaking out about the trauma she went through. There are not a lot of people who would be brave enough to confront the craziness she went through. This book hopefully is going to help bring awareness to the issues related to treatment towards child stars and lead to better laws to protect them from having to experience anything like Jeanette ever again. I haven’t even read the book yet, and already I can feel the power this book has.
i have never clicked so fast in my life, i’d love to see more book reviews from you!
This is literally the best book I ever read. Like once I finished it was sad it was over. I really hope they make it into a movie or documentary series.
The background and home decor is IMMACULATE. This is my first video and I’m loving this channel
I was really into icarly as well, and of course i didnt know the extent of it, but (like with world Disney) once i was old enough to comprehend the industry, even when i was still a young teen, i assumed it was something dark and horrible that these kids went through, this book is definitely no shock and i thought everyone was aware of this when we watched the reboot bc jeannette refused to be on it & i thought we all were aware of the reasons why
its shocking to me that this is news, as if everyone trusted nickelodeon to take care of their child laborers, like as if ppl expected the government to take care of us during covid
but its also so horrible that this is to be expected.
you talking about how we don’t know what these people are going through and we never will just reminded me of an idol i used to follow who was getting trained for his debut, his whole thing was how “normal”( aka how human he felt to an audience ) and when he opened up about his mental issues and how bad he felt and how bad he was being treated his company dropped him. immediately. how many of these kids wanted to come out about their issues but couldn’t because they needed the money for their families-
child fame is child abuse, you're so right for this one
And with you pointing out those kids having possible trauma and possible tell all books in the future - based off watching commentary videos on those families, I always wondered like for all the videos they post - it could be proof in the future for how they dealt with their kids (the commentary vids show all the receipts too - making the proof harder to “cover up” for these channels).
in response to the whole "do we need to not watch movies with child stars, etc" I'm a mom now and I am constantly asked if I'll let my kid watch Disney, or Harry Potter, etc. It's weird because my parents were very religious and they have even tried to shame me for allowing my daughter to watch The Princess and the Frog because of the voo-doo man. It's so hard to limit yourself on watching -- when maybe we can be educated and then do our part in person to not judge or tweet harshly or make remarks about celebs we shouldnt and make sure our peers do the same and treat each other like humans so that people in power will treat them like humans too. and we all relate to the child star celebs because we are humans too and have pressures even pressures we get secondhand from the celebs with body issues and such. we just need to all be kinder to each other in real life and educate more so that we can know how to properly handle each other and not just be scared and ignore. idk im trying to say something obvs but i digress
i agree to not exploit your kids. it is nice to have other moms online to help educate each other. i had my daughter day 1 of lockdown so it was super lonely and everyone tried to make me feel like a unicorn because i enjoy having my daughter stay home with me while i work my full time job during the week and maintain my side photography business. so i decided to share a little on how i manage being a stay at home work from home mom, and ive met some awesome women. theres moms out there who uplift to not cover while breastfeeding. sometimes we gotta show off our kiddos. but as long as there is respect and im not abusing my kids making them take videos for a tiktok etc and im not living in a fake reality then i dont think there will be hurt. kids need to be taught the difference between what to focus on. the internet can be scary but you can choose to not look at the bad stuff and stay focused on the good parts and stay vigilant to not give away any personal information that could end up hurting anyone. 2022 is a weird time to be alive thats for sure. but i think with sex and everything - we just need more education - more giving each other grace to figure our shit out in a healthy way and adding different judgemental comments or looking down on anyone in general is not the way to do that. shaming isnt the answer but educating and trying to see perspectives and putting energy into what matters to you and staying on focused on that each day. again trying to say something and idk if its coming out right but cest la vie , bonjour.
okay i just found ur channel and i’m obsessed with ur talks and i could listen for hours!! hope you’ll have a podcast too cause that’d be cool
If I remember right, Jennette had some private pics leaked like years ago and obvi it’s always wrong to expose someone’s privacy but it makes it so much more sad that she never chose to put herself in the public eye and she can’t truly live an average life because of it.
U had me at “someone else’s mom”. This is how every conversation with my mom and her selective hearing goes 🤣
There's this girl on tiktok that recently came out about how she's the child of I guess one the earliest family bloggers and she talks bout how much she hated it and how her mother lied about her having all these illnesses. From what I remember she ended up moving in with her boyfriend to get away from her mom but her mom also didn't take care of her and had her addicted to opiates at like 8 years old. I can't remember her username but it does seem like we're already seeing the start of all of this :(
This popped up of my FYP tonight and you are talking about child stars coming out more and talking about their experiences, you called it. Quiet on set came out, and boy does it spill everything.
A title like this needs to be deserved, and Jennette earned it by miles. Had this been closer to Jamie Lynn’s Memoir I think the backlash would have been worse. Jennette bore her soul, her life, in an open and honest way, in a way that truly makes you feel like you’re reliving these moments in her life. It was by far the best read of the year for me, perhaps the best memoir I’ve ever read.
i just finished this book yesterday and my favorite youtuber makes a video about it… you’re an angel im so excited to watch this and i love the title because, same nicole.
sorry i've only just started the vid but if your previous vids are anything to go by I know this one is going to be thoughtful, insightful and engaging... Keep up the great work! :)
(will comment a follow-up when I'm done I'm sure hehe)
jennette's story reminds me far too much of sarah lynn's storyline from bojack horseman. I remember how stunningly painful that storyline was to watch the first time I watched bojack, and the tragic arcs are far too similar. between the controlling parents and the SA (sarah lynn's stepfather and jennette's mom) and the manipulative male figures on set and the constant dreams of another career (architect for sarah lynn and writer for jennette), their stories reflect just how problematic the child acting industry is.