What the absolute fuck? He had a glass breaker at the ready, this man was waiting for someone to cross him so that he would have a reason to hurt somebody. I hope he goes to jail, what a freak shit person. I'm sorry you had to go through that Gabe
you're not overreacting at all. that is scary as hell, I was in a very minor road rage incident a few years ago with a guy following me after I cut him off by accident and then pulling up next to me screaming when I parked. Just the absolute unhinged (and seemingly random) anger/hate lashing out made me freeze up and left me shook for several days. it's probably even more scary because there is no way to anticipate it.. sending love!
A man tried opening my car doors, which THANK GOD were locked. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Even though I managed to drive away before anything happened, I STILL think about it every time I drive. I’m checking whether my doors are locked every 5-10 minutes still. You’re not overreacting. It is a source of trauma. It’s so horrible, and I hope to god they find him. So sorry, Gabe. Sending my love (and unbelievable anger at him) your way.
Gabe, how absolutely horrifying. You are not overreacting to someone trying to end you. I’m practically shaking just hearing this. I’d be terrified to go out. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, but it’s a valid feeling because I would feel the same way. This person obviously has mental health issues… and we don’t force people to get help for mental health issues. We don’t do enough as a society to make sure this type of thing doesn’t happen. So proud of you for getting the plate number and getting someone to call 911. You did the smartest things you could. You’re incredibly brave for continuing to drive. You’re brave for sharing your story. You’re absolutely amazing for going to therapy. ❤sending love. It will get better ❤
the end killed me, oh alison, also gabe i am sorry this happened. You aren't overreacting, what happened was horrible and undeserved. No one should ever behave like that. I had a road rage experience a couple years back that was no where close to as violent as the one you described and it still affects me. I'm glad you're going to a professional to work through this.
Oh my g-d guys, I’m SO SORRY this happened! This is so scary! Gabe, please, please don’t be embarrassed or feel silly or stupid. I know it’s easy to feel that way, but some random guy attacked you out of the blue for no discernible reason and made it known that he fully intended on ending your life! You are ALLOWED to react however you reacted and feel however you are feeling now. It’s okay to NOT be okay. To be shaken up, traumatized, scared, etc. I’m so glad that you have people around you though that will love you and take care of you, though. You’ve got this 💕💕💕💕
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. Really, really thankful that your suburu windows held and that at least nothing happened to you physically. Wishing you all the best for the recovery.
At times like this I instinctively want to say something comforting, but my words are inadequate to the burden of my heart. So I’ll just say I’m thinking of you, Gabe, and wish the best for you on your healing journey.
Hey that sounds absolutely terrifying and I am so sorry that this psycho randomly chose you to threaten and try to kill. That is insane and I don’t think you could be over/under reacting as there is no playbook for what you’re “supposed” to feel after this type of situation. All in all I wish you the best on your process of getting support and I am really sorry that this happened - I’m lucky to have never gotten in a car accident or had any car related trauma but my dad got into a minor car accident as a car ran through a stop sign into him, and he still carries some degree of anxiety while driving and I can understand why.
I get laying on the floor for the trauma nap. Like, sometimes you just gotta get down on the floor. And it being cold can be regulatory - I'm sure your blood pressure was sky high I'm so sorry this happened to you, Gabe. And so sorry this happened to you by proxy, Allison. You both have had too much trauma. Absurd. I will be writing a message to the universe telling it to lay off Happy Thanksgiving (for the USA) everyone. Don't give into your road rage, please. Be safe
Holy crap, this just confirms how I’ve been saying driving anywhere now feels like a scene from Mad Max. And don’t get me started on what people consider getting “cut off”… especially these ridiculous ramps and interchanges in LA, I’m literally just trying to merge or get in/out of an exit lane. I often wanna scream “Other people are allowed to drive on the road too!” when people speed up to not let you in, it ride your bumper to act like they’re gonna hit you. I’ve started taking public transit as much as I can. Even though it has a reputation for being unsafe, I feel WAY less in constant danger than any time I get on the road.
Gabe, I am so grateful you were not physically hurt and could go to Allison’s house (safe place). You are not over or under reacting and doing phenomenal considering the trauma that happened to you. You are going to therapy, can name how the events are affecting you, and can even name it verbally. Allison, thank you for being a bff to Gabe and supporting him during this stressful time. Hugs to you both and on this Thanksgiving, I am glad you are both here and safe ❤️🩹
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to heal quickly. I am victim blaming myself for something that happened to me recently. I was told the anger is useful, but that I need to stop directing it at myself and redirect it towards ensuring that it doesn’t happen again. Using that anger and energy towards making me feel safe.
6:19 "Fun" fact: Covid can cause brain damage even if it's just a mild case Anyway... Sorry you went through that Gabe :( P.S. 11:55 Jesus Christ LMAO 😭
Even more "fun", it DOES cause brain damage. Research is clear about it. And the scary part is that people don't notice themselves. We're crearing a zombie society by just letting covid rip.
To add to this discussion, my birth father was this kind of man. I remember being a kid and the car behind us accidentally turned on their highbeams for like a milisecond at a red light and he exploded out of the car and tried to pull the driver out of the window. He was just like that in every aspect of life at all moments, so angry and ready to explode. A cd skipped in the car once and he ripped the radio out of the console, threw it out the window, and did a U-turn to run it over, a tape skipped and he kicked the stereo across the room. People like that literally live their lives seconds away from exploding. It's dangerous and honestly ridiculous- there are very few things in life worth getting that angry over. I send you so much love, that is just traumatic and scary and I'm just so sorry that happened to you. 💜
So incredibly sorry that this happened to you, Gabe. I can’t begin to imagine how terrifying that must’ve been. Wishing you all the best in your recovery ❤
WOW. I've never been a fan of any car, but wow, I would get a Subaru now. I am so grateful that you're both physically safe, and hope that dealing with the aftermath of this attack will be easier over time.
I was going into this like "oh, yay, let's just quickly catch up with JBU before dinner" and now I just want to send big hugs to both of you! It sounds like a terrifying situation and I'm very sorry that happened to you, Gabe! It's also eery that I'm currently in the looong process of catching up with the pod (got a job after uni and can now afford patreon!) and just listend to the episode were you guys talked about Road Rage in Topixxx...
I live in the Texas, and I cannot believe the amount of people who just pass red lights, drive wrong way, cut you off and are super aggressive. I know I am not exaggerating. The crazy drivers are just too present now. It is scary to drive or walk places now.
I don’t understand why people get angry about being cut off in traffic because sometimes people have to merge. Like merging in front of people is a normal part of driving.
This is horrifying. Im glad you're safe physically. No one should react like that, it's not normal. I wonder if he's done that to other people. This goes beyond "oh maybe he was having a bad day". We're here for you ❤
Totally - when I have panic attacks I always want to sit on the floor, against a wall - it's stimulation that is constant and solid and safe and reminds me I have a body. Experiencing the level of fight-or-flight that Gabe wen through, and not being able to either fight or flee because you're inside a car, must be so confusing to the body - you have so much adrenaline coursing through you and nowhere for it to go. I feel like if I were Gabe I'd want to do like, screaming therapy or get a punching bag or take up kickboxing or something, to try and release all of that energy.
oh Gabe I’m so sorry this happened ❤️ I completely understand feeling embarrassed but that is an emotion that is instinctive, when you work through what actually happened you will realise that it is not embarrassing to feel afraid, vulnerable etc. that is a normal reaction to a clear and present danger!! i’m so so sorry that you went through this, no one should have to go through this, but i’m incredibly proud of how you handled this awful traumatic experience ❤️
That's really scary and I'm so glad you're at least physically okay, Gabe. It's so wild to imagine the headspace of someone who was so angry about something that happened on the road that they followed you for however long they followed you and were still angry enough to try to bash your car in during the middle of the day in a residential neighborhood.
Gabe, so sorry to hear about this happening to you. It feels so relevant, while I was at work someone stole my catalytic converter & a week later this random man in the same work parking lot wouldn’t leave me alone & I was basically incapable of doing anything the rest of the day. It’s hard!!!
I also pass out when highly stressed! Not like fainting, I can always lay myself down, but my body just goes into this reset mode and I get super sleepy and need a power nap asap
Gabe sending you so much love and well wishes. Thank god for your car. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are able to work through this knowing nothing about it is about you and instead this sick sick person.
Gabe, that is horrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You should absolutely not be embarrassed! This world can be a scary place sometimes! Love and peace to you! 💞💫
god bless the indestructible subarus 🙏 seriously though, I'm so sorry this happened to you Gabe, truly horrifying and I'm so, so glad you were able to get out of the situation without physically being harmed. I can't imagine what you're going through, sending lots of love. 💗💗💗
My heart goes out to you Gabe! I’m so sorry. Please please do not gaslight yourself… this was a huge deal. Anyone would be traumatized. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel however you do. Hugs…. Xoxoxox
sooo so scary, i'm so sorry gabe! :(( i haven't had anything that intense, but a drunk guy did open my door and get in my car as i was leaving from a concert before the auto locks kicked in. thankfully he listened when i kept saying "i am not your uber you have to leave" but it was quite scary not knowing what he might do
So sorry this happened to you, Gabe. You’re *not* over reacting. I definitely gaslight myself in a similar manner; When you said “did anything even happen?” it was way too familiar, I push myself in those circles too. Also I hope you can get a new car soon so you can stop being in that space. I was in this accident and it took me six months to even drive again. Please prioritize your healing and rest 💚
I was scrolling down to comment my well wishes (and shock of what a horrible senseless incident!) when Allison said "I don't think I killed my mom" and I'm sorry now im laughing too much to be coherent
Glad you’re ok! This is horrifying and sad. I literally think about something like that happening to me all the time (thanks true crime). I’m so pleased that the Subie held up- I’m sure that’ll get under his skin lol
Jesus. I'm so sorry that happened. Take all the time you need of course. I've said to a friend before that I wouldn't run if a bus was about to run me over because that would be embarrassing, so I get being embarrassed about yelling. That was such a smart thing to do though, and we're so glad you're still here. Thank you both for taking care of yourselves and each other
The fact that he had a glass breaker and hammer right there is horrifying. Also, I don't know what it is about being on the road, but most of my scariest experiences with other people have happened in a car or on the road.
I think part of it is that's the place where you're encountering the highest density of strangers. I take public transport and that's also where I see the highest amount of people that are clearly not well.
im still truamatized by a road rage instance when i was a kid over 20 years ago. im so sorry you went through this. that person deserves so much jail time but im sure the system will fail
i had a guy open my bedroom window from the porch (like remove the screen cos it was summer so i had the window open with the screen in) two times to like talk to me or something but this happened in the middle of the night. there's so much like second guessing about your own actions and behaviors and i totally relate to the shame and embarrassment about being victimized. that experience was like infinitesimally less violent than gabes assault but i hope Gabe you can learn to not blame yourself
I recently experienced a minor road rage incident (nothing in comparison to this, a guy just followed me home and then left) and it really shocked me. It’s just so jarring and scary. Meanwhile, this guy threatened your life. That is horrific and I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry this happened to you Gabe, and I would have all the same thought processes as you! But you're not to blame at all, this guy is clearly unhinged and I'm so glad you survived 🩷🩷
So sorry that this happened to you Gabe. You and no one else deserves this type of unnecessary trauma. What a maniac of a human to do this. I’m glad to hear you’re in trauma therapy and healing is not linear but wishing the best course for you. 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
I'm so sorry this happened to you Gabe. I hope you're able to heal and regain a sense of safety. These things really and truly are random and not really something anyone can prevent 100% of the time. It looks like the LA LGBT center has some support resources for victims of crimes--may not be a perfect fit but they may know where to refer you for something more specific to your situation. I'm so glad you're accessing therapy as well. If you're able to find a trained provider for it, a type of therapy called EMDR can be really helpful for this sort of thing. Also, studies have shown that playing tetris after a traumatic event can help lessen the impact, so that's something easy to do in the meantime. Take good and gentle care of yourself in this time, and please take all the filming/recording breaks you need, I'm so glad you had Allison and John nearby in this situation.
I think your reaction is completely valid and appropriate Gabe because what happened was awful, undeserved, and yes violent as well. I know cars aren’t cheap, but I would consider selling for a different model or getting the interior seats recolored so it feels a bit different of a space than where the incident occurred
I’m so sorry this happened to you Gabe, it sounds horrifying. I don’t think I would have handled it as well honestly. You should be proud of yourself for getting the plate photo and for getting into therapy again. Maybe sounds weird to say yeah.
This is awful. I hope everything goes well with your insurance so thats one less issue for you to deal with and the man gets punished for this awful act
I am so sorry, Gabe. That is genuinely one of the most terrifying experiences I can imagine - the everyday-ness of it combined with the randomness of it makes it so much more terrifying than something targeted/interpersonal, because now your body and brain have learned that this sort of thing, while extremely rare, can just happen to you out of nowhere, either at this same person's hands or at the hands of someone equally twisted, and you have zero control over whether it happens or not. It totally makes sense that your nervous system is on extreme high alert to try and keep you safe right now, given that you don't have access to any reassuring information about why it happened or how it could be prevented, and with something so nonsensical, you may never get that information. Please don't forget that your nervous system is acting rationally given what you've experienced, it is doing its best to keep you safe, and be so incredibly patient with yourself as you process this. I know for traumatized folks like us who've done therapy (especially CBT), we've often learned to understand our nervous system's anxiety reactions as something dysfunctional that we need to counteract/work past, and that can be true once the threat is past and only the reactions remain - but you need to *be* safe before you can feel safe, and that's going to take time.
Hey, Gabe, I am SO sorry this happened to you and you’re having to deal with the feelings and process someone else’s shit. There is nothing embarrassing here-I would feel the same but I wonder if it’s compounded by ideals of masculinity? The need to feel impervious could be made worse because you both are and are becoming a man, maybe? Also, you have dealt with it all ideally. You literally couldn’t have done anything better, which is amazing. You’re a total star. 💕💐🥰❤️ PS You obviously are, but please override your workaholic self and do what you need. This is a moment to prioritise self-care above all else. ❤️
I participated in some road ragey behavior for the first time the other day and i wa beyond ashamed. I cant picture giving into the anger again its just not worth the risk. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Possible trigger warning Seven years ago, I was walking around Dublin with my sister when I saw a man sprinting who then jumped over a wall right in front of me. He was greeted by his friend and there was an air of panic. He said "He stabbed me". I could see a wound on his hand and blood dripping from it. We turn around and there was a junkie holding a knife less than a metre from me. There was blood dripping from the knife and him and I locked eyes. I could tell he was high as a kite and he had an unhinged look in his eye. I genuinely thought i was going to die. His friend appeared, seen what was happening, intervened and starting shouting at him, telling him to throw his knife in the nearby river. He obliged and they quickly left. It was an absolutely horrible thing to encounter but at the same time I was also embarrassed to talk about it afterwards? I felt it was such a random, freak thing to happen and that my co workers mightn't believe me if I told them about it. We gave a statement to the police and were informed that a strung up junkie randomly attacked a tourist (this is the aftermath of what i had witnessed). He said it was very rare for them to attack civilians, they often have drug related feuds amongst themselves but it never extends beyond that. You are not at all exaggerating, Gabe and I am so sorry this happened to you! I understand the conflicting feelings of feeling embarrassed about going through this. Wishing you all the best!
I wonder if the feeling of embarrassment was a sort-of instinctual reaction to the fact that this was such a random and non-sensical event that it's really hard to describe in words. Like, the act of describing it requires you to lay out the events in some sort of order, that you have to make some sort of story or meaning out of it, but there is no meaning to be had - and so I could imagine it feeling like telling people about it could feel like you're burdening them with something incomprehensible, and so feeling a responsibility to make it comprehensible in some way? Not sure if that makes sense XD
I am SO sorry this happened. I was horrified to hear about this on bwm. I am extremely glad the windows held (it was the gay gods protecting) and you did an amazing thing managing to get the license plate.
I feel like you reacted way better than I would have. I probably would have escalated it once my anger rose. That dude was obviously on one and decided to make it your problem. I don't think there's undereacting or overeacting in a situation like this. It's just trying to react in a way that does the least amount of harm to yourself and those around you. I'm sorry you had to witness someone watching you and doing nothing. That part always fucks you up.
I almost got hit by a moose once - I was in the passenger seat and it came out of nowhere. The driver swerved and just dodged it. (From afar moose are majestic creatures, but when one is charging at you they're like primordial beasts.) For weeks I couldn't drive without constantly being hyper vigilant looking around for moose, and when I drove by the spot where it happened I would almost have a panic attack. It did get better but it took time and a lot of deep breathing. The post traumatic stress is very real.
It's actually suggested for your safety to have in case of an accident and the doors won't open or your car is submerged in water so you can break a window and get out
Gabe, I am so sorry that you had to go through that, and I hope this man gets put in prison, and you are definitely not overreacting but probably (understandably) trying to suppress it in order to protect yourself because it's too big of a thing to confront directly. I have never been in a situation like this (and am not American at all, so don't have to deal with the constant threats of everyday violence that y'all have to keep in the back of your heads), so I have no idea if this would be a helpful thought or a damaging one, so feel free to ignore, but given that you said that you're hypervigilant all the time anyway, I could imagine that later, after this event settles and gets worked through in therapy, it might lead to a sense of, "well apparently these things can happen without any warning signs, so maybe there's actually no point to the hypervigilance, and maybe it makes more sense to let my nervous system rest from it and improve my overall quality of life in the meantime, even if something bad occasionally happens, than to keep being so stressed about it and still not be able to protect myself 100% of the time." That instead of you feeling even more unsafe in a world that is unpredictable and uncontrollable, it might, in a roundabout way, lead to some kind of freedom from the constant fear, and a more peaceful existence, eventually, maybe. Like I said, no idea if this is helpful or not, and maybe that train of thought just highlights my privilege, in which case I deeply apologize. I just wanted to share in case that would be useful in any way, since it was the first thing that came to my mind.
1. Absolutely what the fuck, 2. Gabe, you are NOT overreacting and 3. I'M shaking just listening to this? A car hit me while I was biking and wrecked half my bike a 5 years ago- he was just an inattentive dick and had no intention of killing me, but I still feel violated by the whole ordeal and I'm still very twitchy riding my bike. It definitely made my PTSD worse. This? This is next level unhinged bullshit. Please let yourself process at whatever speed you need to and give yourself a lot of grace right now.
Wow, that is absolutely terrible. I get why you think it's both over and underreacting, but there is truely no right way to behave after such an incident. I hope you get help from your therapist working through that! I hope this isn't too personal, but you might also still be in shock, so I hope you get the time to go though the emotions as they come up.
What the absolute fuck? He had a glass breaker at the ready, this man was waiting for someone to cross him so that he would have a reason to hurt somebody. I hope he goes to jail, what a freak shit person. I'm sorry you had to go through that Gabe
you're not overreacting at all. that is scary as hell, I was in a very minor road rage incident a few years ago with a guy following me after I cut him off by accident and then pulling up next to me screaming when I parked. Just the absolute unhinged (and seemingly random) anger/hate lashing out made me freeze up and left me shook for several days. it's probably even more scary because there is no way to anticipate it.. sending love!
A man tried opening my car doors, which THANK GOD were locked. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Even though I managed to drive away before anything happened, I STILL think about it every time I drive. I’m checking whether my doors are locked every 5-10 minutes still. You’re not overreacting. It is a source of trauma. It’s so horrible, and I hope to god they find him. So sorry, Gabe. Sending my love (and unbelievable anger at him) your way.
Gabe, how absolutely horrifying. You are not overreacting to someone trying to end you. I’m practically shaking just hearing this. I’d be terrified to go out. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, but it’s a valid feeling because I would feel the same way. This person obviously has mental health issues… and we don’t force people to get help for mental health issues. We don’t do enough as a society to make sure this type of thing doesn’t happen. So proud of you for getting the plate number and getting someone to call 911. You did the smartest things you could.
You’re incredibly brave for continuing to drive. You’re brave for sharing your story. You’re absolutely amazing for going to therapy. ❤sending love. It will get better ❤
Absolutely terrifying. So glad your car kept you safe in the moment.
Allison’s joke intros are a magnificent innnovation
I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm so proud of you both for not recording that day!
the end killed me, oh alison,
also gabe i am sorry this happened. You aren't overreacting, what happened was horrible and undeserved. No one should ever behave like that. I had a road rage experience a couple years back that was no where close to as violent as the one you described and it still affects me. I'm glad you're going to a professional to work through this.
Oh my g-d guys, I’m SO SORRY this happened! This is so scary! Gabe, please, please don’t be embarrassed or feel silly or stupid. I know it’s easy to feel that way, but some random guy attacked you out of the blue for no discernible reason and made it known that he fully intended on ending your life! You are ALLOWED to react however you reacted and feel however you are feeling now. It’s okay to NOT be okay. To be shaken up, traumatized, scared, etc. I’m so glad that you have people around you though that will love you and take care of you, though. You’ve got this 💕💕💕💕
Allison and i have the same exact dark humor impulse and I appreciate that
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. Really, really thankful that your suburu windows held and that at least nothing happened to you physically. Wishing you all the best for the recovery.
Shout out to Subaru damn. I’m sorry you went through that.
At times like this I instinctively want to say something comforting, but my words are inadequate to the burden of my heart. So I’ll just say I’m thinking of you, Gabe, and wish the best for you on your healing journey.
Hey that sounds absolutely terrifying and I am so sorry that this psycho randomly chose you to threaten and try to kill. That is insane and I don’t think you could be over/under reacting as there is no playbook for what you’re “supposed” to feel after this type of situation. All in all I wish you the best on your process of getting support and I am really sorry that this happened - I’m lucky to have never gotten in a car accident or had any car related trauma but my dad got into a minor car accident as a car ran through a stop sign into him, and he still carries some degree of anxiety while driving and I can understand why.
I get laying on the floor for the trauma nap. Like, sometimes you just gotta get down on the floor. And it being cold can be regulatory - I'm sure your blood pressure was sky high
I'm so sorry this happened to you, Gabe. And so sorry this happened to you by proxy, Allison. You both have had too much trauma. Absurd. I will be writing a message to the universe telling it to lay off
Happy Thanksgiving (for the USA) everyone. Don't give into your road rage, please. Be safe
That’s so scary! I’m so sorry that happened and am very glad you’re okay! I am furious at that mailman, what a PoS. Why does this year suck so much 😭
Holy crap, this just confirms how I’ve been saying driving anywhere now feels like a scene from Mad Max. And don’t get me started on what people consider getting “cut off”… especially these ridiculous ramps and interchanges in LA, I’m literally just trying to merge or get in/out of an exit lane. I often wanna scream “Other people are allowed to drive on the road too!” when people speed up to not let you in, it ride your bumper to act like they’re gonna hit you. I’ve started taking public transit as much as I can. Even though it has a reputation for being unsafe, I feel WAY less in constant danger than any time I get on the road.
Gabe, I am so grateful you were not physically hurt and could go to Allison’s house (safe place). You are not over or under reacting and doing phenomenal considering the trauma that happened to you. You are going to therapy, can name how the events are affecting you, and can even name it verbally. Allison, thank you for being a bff to Gabe and supporting him during this stressful time. Hugs to you both and on this Thanksgiving, I am glad you are both here and safe ❤️🩹
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to heal quickly.
I am victim blaming myself for something that happened to me recently. I was told the anger is useful, but that I need to stop directing it at myself and redirect it towards ensuring that it doesn’t happen again. Using that anger and energy towards making me feel safe.
So scary 😢😢😢 so glad the Subaru held up, so glad youre still with us Gabe!!!
6:19 "Fun" fact: Covid can cause brain damage even if it's just a mild case
Anyway... Sorry you went through that Gabe :(
P.S. 11:55 Jesus Christ LMAO 😭
Even more "fun", it DOES cause brain damage. Research is clear about it. And the scary part is that people don't notice themselves. We're crearing a zombie society by just letting covid rip.
To add to this discussion, my birth father was this kind of man. I remember being a kid and the car behind us accidentally turned on their highbeams for like a milisecond at a red light and he exploded out of the car and tried to pull the driver out of the window. He was just like that in every aspect of life at all moments, so angry and ready to explode. A cd skipped in the car once and he ripped the radio out of the console, threw it out the window, and did a U-turn to run it over, a tape skipped and he kicked the stereo across the room. People like that literally live their lives seconds away from exploding. It's dangerous and honestly ridiculous- there are very few things in life worth getting that angry over. I send you so much love, that is just traumatic and scary and I'm just so sorry that happened to you. 💜
Never been more grateful for my Subie. I am glad you are ok Gabe, that’s a terrifying situation.
So incredibly sorry that this happened to you, Gabe. I can’t begin to imagine how terrifying that must’ve been. Wishing you all the best in your recovery ❤
Im sat here shaking just listening to this. I cant imagine how Gabe is feeling. Sending you all my love.
WOW. I've never been a fan of any car, but wow, I would get a Subaru now. I am so grateful that you're both physically safe, and hope that dealing with the aftermath of this attack will be easier over time.
thank you for sharing this. thank you for making sure he is held accountable.
I was going into this like "oh, yay, let's just quickly catch up with JBU before dinner" and now I just want to send big hugs to both of you! It sounds like a terrifying situation and I'm very sorry that happened to you, Gabe!
It's also eery that I'm currently in the looong process of catching up with the pod (got a job after uni and can now afford patreon!) and just listend to the episode were you guys talked about Road Rage in Topixxx...
I live in the Texas, and I cannot believe the amount of people who just pass red lights, drive wrong way, cut you off and are super aggressive. I know I am not exaggerating. The crazy drivers are just too present now. It is scary to drive or walk places now.
I don’t understand why people get angry about being cut off in traffic because sometimes people have to merge. Like merging in front of people is a normal part of driving.
Usually the people who get "cut off" are just tailgating the people ahead of them 🙄
This is horrifying. Im glad you're safe physically. No one should react like that, it's not normal. I wonder if he's done that to other people. This goes beyond "oh maybe he was having a bad day".
We're here for you ❤
The hard cold floor thing makes total sense to me. Both feelings help ground you, makes sense Gabe instinctually wanted that.
Totally - when I have panic attacks I always want to sit on the floor, against a wall - it's stimulation that is constant and solid and safe and reminds me I have a body. Experiencing the level of fight-or-flight that Gabe wen through, and not being able to either fight or flee because you're inside a car, must be so confusing to the body - you have so much adrenaline coursing through you and nowhere for it to go. I feel like if I were Gabe I'd want to do like, screaming therapy or get a punching bag or take up kickboxing or something, to try and release all of that energy.
oh Gabe I’m so sorry this happened ❤️ I completely understand feeling embarrassed but that is an emotion that is instinctive, when you work through what actually happened you will realise that it is not embarrassing to feel afraid, vulnerable etc. that is a normal reaction to a clear and present danger!! i’m so so sorry that you went through this, no one should have to go through this, but i’m incredibly proud of how you handled this awful traumatic experience ❤️
That's really scary and I'm so glad you're at least physically okay, Gabe. It's so wild to imagine the headspace of someone who was so angry about something that happened on the road that they followed you for however long they followed you and were still angry enough to try to bash your car in during the middle of the day in a residential neighborhood.
I’m so sorry that’s disgusting. I hope that man gets what’s coming to him. I wish you the best with the healing journey❤
Gabe, so sorry to hear about this happening to you. It feels so relevant, while I was at work someone stole my catalytic converter & a week later this random man in the same work parking lot wouldn’t leave me alone & I was basically incapable of doing anything the rest of the day. It’s hard!!!
I also pass out when highly stressed! Not like fainting, I can always lay myself down, but my body just goes into this reset mode and I get super sleepy and need a power nap asap
Gabe sending you so much love and well wishes. Thank god for your car. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are able to work through this knowing nothing about it is about you and instead this sick sick person.
Gabe, that is horrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You should absolutely not be embarrassed! This world can be a scary place sometimes! Love and peace to you! 💞💫
Absolutely horrific, I'm so sorry this happened. I hope you find the ressources to deal with the trauma it's caused you, take care
That's an incredibly horrifying experience, I'm so sorry that happened. :(
god bless the indestructible subarus 🙏 seriously though, I'm so sorry this happened to you Gabe, truly horrifying and I'm so, so glad you were able to get out of the situation without physically being harmed. I can't imagine what you're going through, sending lots of love. 💗💗💗
This is so scary. What a disappointing mailman
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I send you love as you continue to work through your feelings and find your way to peace about it. ❤❤❤
that is so so scary. thankful you are safe and willing to talk about it
My heart goes out to you Gabe! I’m so sorry. Please please do not gaslight yourself… this was a huge deal. Anyone would be traumatized. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel however you do. Hugs…. Xoxoxox
So sorry Gabe and so glad you two have each other to lean on!
sooo so scary, i'm so sorry gabe! :(( i haven't had anything that intense, but a drunk guy did open my door and get in my car as i was leaving from a concert before the auto locks kicked in. thankfully he listened when i kept saying "i am not your uber you have to leave" but it was quite scary not knowing what he might do
So sorry this happened to you, Gabe. You’re *not* over reacting. I definitely gaslight myself in a similar manner; When you said “did anything even happen?” it was way too familiar, I push myself in those circles too.
Also I hope you can get a new car soon so you can stop being in that space.
I was in this accident and it took me six months to even drive again.
Please prioritize your healing and rest 💚
I was scrolling down to comment my well wishes (and shock of what a horrible senseless incident!) when Allison said "I don't think I killed my mom" and I'm sorry now im laughing too much to be coherent
Lots of love to you Gabe, so sorry you went through that. 💗
Glad you’re ok! This is horrifying and sad. I literally think about something like that happening to me all the time (thanks true crime). I’m so pleased that the Subie held up- I’m sure that’ll get under his skin lol
Jesus. I'm so sorry that happened. Take all the time you need of course. I've said to a friend before that I wouldn't run if a bus was about to run me over because that would be embarrassing, so I get being embarrassed about yelling. That was such a smart thing to do though, and we're so glad you're still here. Thank you both for taking care of yourselves and each other
"I think people are just out of control"
The fact that he had a glass breaker and hammer right there is horrifying. Also, I don't know what it is about being on the road, but most of my scariest experiences with other people have happened in a car or on the road.
I think part of it is that's the place where you're encountering the highest density of strangers. I take public transport and that's also where I see the highest amount of people that are clearly not well.
Hope you feel better soon Gabe, it’s so shitty that you had to experience that.
im still truamatized by a road rage instance when i was a kid over 20 years ago. im so sorry you went through this. that person deserves so much jail time but im sure the system will fail
i had a guy open my bedroom window from the porch (like remove the screen cos it was summer so i had the window open with the screen in) two times to like talk to me or something but this happened in the middle of the night. there's so much like second guessing about your own actions and behaviors and i totally relate to the shame and embarrassment about being victimized. that experience was like infinitesimally less violent than gabes assault but i hope Gabe you can learn to not blame yourself
Gabe, that's horrible with capital H. Please take care of yourself and I hope trauma therapy goes well.
I recently experienced a minor road rage incident (nothing in comparison to this, a guy just followed me home and then left) and it really shocked me. It’s just so jarring and scary. Meanwhile, this guy threatened your life. That is horrific and I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry this happened to you Gabe, and I would have all the same thought processes as you! But you're not to blame at all, this guy is clearly unhinged and I'm so glad you survived 🩷🩷
I 100% get lying on the floor. Like a cool compress when you’re overstimulated
So sorry that this happened to you Gabe. You and no one else deserves this type of unnecessary trauma. What a maniac of a human to do this. I’m glad to hear you’re in trauma therapy and healing is not linear but wishing the best course for you. 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
So sorry to hear this.
WTH! Wow Gabe, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope the police take this very seriously.
I'm so sorry this happened to you Gabe. I hope you're able to heal and regain a sense of safety. These things really and truly are random and not really something anyone can prevent 100% of the time. It looks like the LA LGBT center has some support resources for victims of crimes--may not be a perfect fit but they may know where to refer you for something more specific to your situation. I'm so glad you're accessing therapy as well. If you're able to find a trained provider for it, a type of therapy called EMDR can be really helpful for this sort of thing. Also, studies have shown that playing tetris after a traumatic event can help lessen the impact, so that's something easy to do in the meantime. Take good and gentle care of yourself in this time, and please take all the filming/recording breaks you need, I'm so glad you had Allison and John nearby in this situation.
I think your reaction is completely valid and appropriate Gabe because what happened was awful, undeserved, and yes violent as well. I know cars aren’t cheap, but I would consider selling for a different model or getting the interior seats recolored so it feels a bit different of a space than where the incident occurred
wow shout out to subaru. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope they are able to catch him so he doesn’t do this to someone else!
Jesus so sorry you're going through that.. people are crazy :(
I’m sorry Gabe 😞 I hope you’re able to feel some safety soon.
I’m so sorry this happened to you Gabe, it sounds horrifying. I don’t think I would have handled it as well honestly. You should be proud of yourself for getting the plate photo and for getting into therapy again. Maybe sounds weird to say yeah.
I never feel bad about reading up on serial killers... "know thy enemy" afaic. I get you .
I don't think I killed my Mom. 😂💀
This is awful. I hope everything goes well with your insurance so thats one less issue for you to deal with and the man gets punished for this awful act
I am so sorry, Gabe. That is genuinely one of the most terrifying experiences I can imagine - the everyday-ness of it combined with the randomness of it makes it so much more terrifying than something targeted/interpersonal, because now your body and brain have learned that this sort of thing, while extremely rare, can just happen to you out of nowhere, either at this same person's hands or at the hands of someone equally twisted, and you have zero control over whether it happens or not. It totally makes sense that your nervous system is on extreme high alert to try and keep you safe right now, given that you don't have access to any reassuring information about why it happened or how it could be prevented, and with something so nonsensical, you may never get that information. Please don't forget that your nervous system is acting rationally given what you've experienced, it is doing its best to keep you safe, and be so incredibly patient with yourself as you process this. I know for traumatized folks like us who've done therapy (especially CBT), we've often learned to understand our nervous system's anxiety reactions as something dysfunctional that we need to counteract/work past, and that can be true once the threat is past and only the reactions remain - but you need to *be* safe before you can feel safe, and that's going to take time.
That’s terrifying. So sorry that happened Gabe.
Hey, Gabe, I am SO sorry this happened to you and you’re having to deal with the feelings and process someone else’s shit. There is nothing embarrassing here-I would feel the same but I wonder if it’s compounded by ideals of masculinity? The need to feel impervious could be made worse because you both are and are becoming a man, maybe? Also, you have dealt with it all ideally. You literally couldn’t have done anything better, which is amazing. You’re a total star. 💕💐🥰❤️ PS You obviously are, but please override your workaholic self and do what you need. This is a moment to prioritise self-care above all else. ❤️
So sorry that happened to you Gabe! ❤
I participated in some road ragey behavior for the first time the other day and i wa beyond ashamed. I cant picture giving into the anger again its just not worth the risk. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Possible trigger warning
Seven years ago, I was walking around Dublin with my sister when I saw a man sprinting who then jumped over a wall right in front of me. He was greeted by his friend and there was an air of panic. He said "He stabbed me". I could see a wound on his hand and blood dripping from it. We turn around and there was a junkie holding a knife less than a metre from me. There was blood dripping from the knife and him and I locked eyes. I could tell he was high as a kite and he had an unhinged look in his eye. I genuinely thought i was going to die. His friend appeared, seen what was happening, intervened and starting shouting at him, telling him to throw his knife in the nearby river. He obliged and they quickly left. It was an absolutely horrible thing to encounter but at the same time I was also embarrassed to talk about it afterwards? I felt it was such a random, freak thing to happen and that my co workers mightn't believe me if I told them about it. We gave a statement to the police and were informed that a strung up junkie randomly attacked a tourist (this is the aftermath of what i had witnessed). He said it was very rare for them to attack civilians, they often have drug related feuds amongst themselves but it never extends beyond that. You are not at all exaggerating, Gabe and I am so sorry this happened to you! I understand the conflicting feelings of feeling embarrassed about going through this. Wishing you all the best!
I wonder if the feeling of embarrassment was a sort-of instinctual reaction to the fact that this was such a random and non-sensical event that it's really hard to describe in words. Like, the act of describing it requires you to lay out the events in some sort of order, that you have to make some sort of story or meaning out of it, but there is no meaning to be had - and so I could imagine it feeling like telling people about it could feel like you're burdening them with something incomprehensible, and so feeling a responsibility to make it comprehensible in some way? Not sure if that makes sense XD
I am SO sorry this happened. I was horrified to hear about this on bwm. I am extremely glad the windows held (it was the gay gods protecting) and you did an amazing thing managing to get the license plate.
That's actually horrific. I hope Allison or John confronts the mailman.
This is terrifying. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Gabe.
My heart is with Gabe
I do have a glass breaker in my car, but it’s somewhere in my car kit, which is in the boot of my car… like a sensible person.
The point is to have it inside the car with you to use to escape your vehicle through the windows in case of emergency
@@mypimento exactly
That's terrifyng. So glad you are okay.
Gabe pls the lore is thick enough already! (this is me using humor to cope, I am sorry this horrific thing happened)
I feel like you reacted way better than I would have. I probably would have escalated it once my anger rose. That dude was obviously on one and decided to make it your problem. I don't think there's undereacting or overeacting in a situation like this. It's just trying to react in a way that does the least amount of harm to yourself and those around you. I'm sorry you had to witness someone watching you and doing nothing. That part always fucks you up.
That was horrific! You are not overreacting that is terrifying. Someone literally threatened your life.
I almost got hit by a moose once - I was in the passenger seat and it came out of nowhere. The driver swerved and just dodged it. (From afar moose are majestic creatures, but when one is charging at you they're like primordial beasts.) For weeks I couldn't drive without constantly being hyper vigilant looking around for moose, and when I drove by the spot where it happened I would almost have a panic attack. It did get better but it took time and a lot of deep breathing. The post traumatic stress is very real.
Thats horrible im so glad youre okay man
Damn, yall are going through it, shit
i’m worried that that person just has a glass breaker on hand. i wonder if he’s done this to anyone else
It's actually suggested for your safety to have in case of an accident and the doors won't open or your car is submerged in water so you can break a window and get out
Gabe, I am so sorry that you had to go through that, and I hope this man gets put in prison, and you are definitely not overreacting but probably (understandably) trying to suppress it in order to protect yourself because it's too big of a thing to confront directly.
I have never been in a situation like this (and am not American at all, so don't have to deal with the constant threats of everyday violence that y'all have to keep in the back of your heads), so I have no idea if this would be a helpful thought or a damaging one, so feel free to ignore, but given that you said that you're hypervigilant all the time anyway, I could imagine that later, after this event settles and gets worked through in therapy, it might lead to a sense of, "well apparently these things can happen without any warning signs, so maybe there's actually no point to the hypervigilance, and maybe it makes more sense to let my nervous system rest from it and improve my overall quality of life in the meantime, even if something bad occasionally happens, than to keep being so stressed about it and still not be able to protect myself 100% of the time." That instead of you feeling even more unsafe in a world that is unpredictable and uncontrollable, it might, in a roundabout way, lead to some kind of freedom from the constant fear, and a more peaceful existence, eventually, maybe.
Like I said, no idea if this is helpful or not, and maybe that train of thought just highlights my privilege, in which case I deeply apologize. I just wanted to share in case that would be useful in any way, since it was the first thing that came to my mind.
It’s very helpful. Thank you.
So sorry gabe be careful some crazy and scary people out there , you to report this to the police this is disgusting and horrible much love gabe❤
absolutely amazing jump cut at the end
1. Absolutely what the fuck, 2. Gabe, you are NOT overreacting and 3. I'M shaking just listening to this? A car hit me while I was biking and wrecked half my bike a 5 years ago- he was just an inattentive dick and had no intention of killing me, but I still feel violated by the whole ordeal and I'm still very twitchy riding my bike. It definitely made my PTSD worse. This? This is next level unhinged bullshit. Please let yourself process at whatever speed you need to and give yourself a lot of grace right now.
Oh Allison that is so me...amazing in a crisis but a minor inconvenience causes me to lose my absolute mind.
Wow, that is absolutely terrible. I get why you think it's both over and underreacting, but there is truely no right way to behave after such an incident. I hope you get help from your therapist working through that! I hope this isn't too personal, but you might also still be in shock, so I hope you get the time to go though the emotions as they come up.
wow so crazy bc i just got followed and screamed at from a road rage incident