Do You Want To Pass As Cis?
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- A conversation about passing as cis evolves into talking about plasma donation, catcalling, and 1000 other topics.
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Please never lie or withhold information about medications nor diagnosis when donating blood or plasma! Donating IS an amazing and selfless act and it IS for the greater good, just like Gabe said, however many medications can affect your blood and make it unsuitable for donations. People can have spontaneous allergic reactions, trace compounds of your medicines left in your blood may react with medicines given to the recipient, so many things could go wrong. Please always give full medical history when donating blood and plasma 🙏🏻❤
Good thing I didn't then!! Whew
@@nofungabydunn Thank you for even trying to donate, it speaks volumes about the kind person you are! Your prescriber will obs have a better answer on your specific situation, for instance my psychiatrist has advised against any donation even up to a year after stopping certain antipsychotics, just to be safe! So weird but cool that somebody figured that out to keep folks safe ❤
You need a psychiatrist approval to donate plasma because some psychiatric meds stay in the plasma and are not safe for the receivers of the donations.
ooooh got it - well good thing I didn't lie!
o but wouldn't it make more sense to actually screen for that like "have you had this type of medication in the last ___" cos the psychiatrist that signed you off can't actually know that medication you've actually taken/not taken? or is the assumption that 1) a psychiatrist is more trustworthy and/or would be more well-versed in that, 2) it's not likely that somebody would take those specific types of meds unless prescribed?
or do they ask that already and this is like an extra layer of precaution kind of thing?
@@applebyyou figured it out at the end, you can’t just walk into a pharmacy and get psychiatric meds 😂 they must be prescribed
Yeah lying to medical professionals is generally not a good idea. They're there to help and you only hurt yourself if you lie or withhold information. If the rule seems stupid to you just remember you're not the professional. It doesn't have to make sense to you.
Somewhere along the way you guys have transitioned (lol) from "friends with a short talk show," to "cool aunt and gay son have a nice chat," and I love that for you.
Name one rule of baseball: "you can catch the ball and then they're out". That's on me I set the bar too low
One of my most favourite things about being a middle aged man is that no-one talks to me in public. I don't have a car, so travel on public transport all the time. Aside from people asking me if they can get past or open a window, no-one says anything to me. Literally the last time someone tried to talk to me on a bus was five or six years ago. It was the middle of summer and it was a guy wearing a big pilgrim's hat with a huge gold buckle on the front and a heavy floor length cape. He tried to start a conversation with me about how the world was going to end that evening by falling into the Sun. He gave up after about 30 seconds. And the only reason he sat next to me was because the bus was full and literally the only empty seat was next to me. I sincerely wish that for everyone - that regardless of their gender, they can be in a public space and effectively be invisible and go about their business without having to deal with anyone.
Yeah. I wish!
I like when random strangers initiate conversations with me on public transport. I'm happy to be a minority.
Omg my dream! Thanks for sharing some auntie wisdom
Gabe is out here trying to cause mass confusion, and Allison just be lyin’
A fellow Gizz-head? Here ? At JBU? I must be dreaming
@@MsSonnencreme GIZZA FOREVA
@@MsSonnencreme there's at least three of us!
I've noticed that men are soooo much more friendly since I transitioned lol, and they bend over backwards to be nice to me. But it's usually only when I'm wearing makeup and fem clothes. It's so weird how, to me, nothing really changes and yet it affects how the entire world treats me lol
Fully believed Alison was going to reveal at the end of the video she was lying the whole time to prove she's a good liar
She was, but then camera died.
I'm a simple girl. I watch the Thursday upload every Thursday and I like the video before it even starts playing. :) love yall
Okay but… I am a woman who has a beard because I have PCOS. Like, I try to hide it, but sometimes it’s hard to hide it because I have super light skin and dark hair, so it shows even under the skin. I think my heart would break if someone called me “sir” because I want to pass as a cis woman, but because I have PCOS, some people might think I’m trans. :c
This is no hate or shade to trans people btw! I have some very close friends who are trans. I’m just saying that, yes, some cis women do have beards! And a lot of people who have PCOS have overlap with trans people because PCOS is about your body naturally fluctuating or having “irregular” amounts of hormones, so in a way, my body is trans even though I (inside) am not. I identify as cis, but I might look trans to someone who doesn’t know me.
I totally get it. I don’t want people to believe I’m a ciswoman, I want people to just treat me as a woman. The coincidence of my birth isn’t important, but the way I’m treated IS.
But what does "treat me as a woman" mean, outside of using your name and your pronouns? If I met you I'd be polite to you, because I was taught to be polite to everyone. Otherwise I try to treat everyone the same, with few to no distinctions between how I treat men and women.
@@ziweiyuan I think it would be difficult to really describe it all. Being polite and kind to everyone in equal measure is obviously a great thing, but even without thinking about it there’s subtleties to how people tend to interact based on percieved gender.
The most blunt way of putting it though is that none of us really want to be a TRANS woman, or a TRANS man, we just want to be a woman or a man, etc. Or obviously the various shades of non-binary, not to exclude them from the conversation, all of them want to simply exist in the world without gendered expectation at all.
Public acceptance is still at a point where being trans is something to notice and make note of. I think we’re all eager to live in a world where AGAB isn’t seen as consequential to anyone outside of just raw medical data. We’re far from that. Very far.
Right? I always feel like you don't have to perfectly understand transness in order to like, respect pronouns and not harass people in the bathroom, you know?
@@gothicwitch101 it does some like a very achievably low bar
Isn’t that what passing is??
Thank you for calling out catcallers bulls****, Gabe!
Alisons' nails, hair, and makeup are amazing! Great funny video as usual :)
lashes on point
Here for the chaotic ones. Thanks for continuing to choose to be authentic on the internet! 😊
Thank you guys so much! You cover a lot of topics I wanna hear discussed! My sibling is trans and it helps to have your perspectives
Don’t worry, Gabe. I had a whole moment in time I kept getting rejected for my heart rate at the plasma center and it started this awful, anxious cycle. I’d have it together then a scary man would hit on me in the center. I’m so happy I have my anxiety in control and a better side gig (pet sitting)
This was a particularly exciting episode for me as a long time watcher/listener and phlebotomist at a plasma center 😁
The lack of music at the end was genuinely jarring
Allison saying shuggy at the end was so cute!
I cannot emphasize this enough but Allison is so lucky to never have been so broke where you have to donate plasma just to get by 😂
iI tried donated blood like 3 times when I was in hs but they said no each time because of my pulse or iron or blood pressure or something idk. Too sickly, I guess. They did still give me t-shirts the people who donated got for putting in the effort, I guess. I called them my pity T-shirts. I'm going to try to donate plasma soon cause I'm a broke college student we'll see how that works out.
"I talk to people, I'm the problem" Allison was real for that
Damn Allison's lash extensions look great! 😍
Sugar's jealousy is making me really jealous. I need dawgz.
i LOVE talking to strangers, but i don’t really initiate anything other than a smile but i’m goth so people ask questions lmao usually if i’m in a costume and where i’m going
Big thanks from me for no longer hard coding captions onto the videos!
As a binary trans man I'd like to add my two cents to this topic. Passing as cis is incredibly important to me to the point that I try to make it nearly impossible for anyone to connect my identity as a 'woman' to who I am now as a man. The younger trans croud calls this living 'stealth' and it is definitely my transition goal. It has nothing to do with me being ashamed of being trans or of my connection to women that most cis guys lack; it is entirely about how I am treated by others. I am tired of not being listened to, being dismissed, and having men make decisions about me and what I can handle behind closed doors without me having a seat at the table. If it weren't for other people, I wouldn't need to medically transition at all.
Also as someone who regularly gives blood, making people living with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia get a psych letter to donate blood/plasma is bs. Every time I donate I have to read through a list of medications I am not allowed to be on and say I'm not on any of them. If the concern is medication in your blood then why ban everyone who might be on the medication instead of telling people that this pill makes you ineligible? Probably because people with mental illness are incredibly stigmatized and generally not trusted to be able to handle their own shit and speak for themselves. Sorry you're dealing with this Gabe. As a trans dude I can say that I've been there and it was shit, but it's so much better on the other side when your name is correct everywhere and people see you as a guy.
Also also I'd like to add that Allison married with a few more pounds on her looks so much healthier and happier than she did 7-8 years ago being (in her words) 'neurotic and lonely' but skinny af. I am so happy that she found someone who takes away that desperate look in her eyes
I’m having difficulty understanding why there is a need to run stealth operations on evil people. What I mean is, if you don’t want to be treated poorly, disguising yourself only tricks the evil person, it doesn’t change that they WOULD be mean to you if they knew your identity. I avoid those people.
There are plenty of good people out there, and if you’re concerned about any stranger’s perception of you(you shouldn’t be), then why not focus on trusting the good people out there that won’t judge your appearance instead of giving your energy toward trying to pass among the scumbags of the earth?
@@courve Thank you! This is why I don't believe in the concept of transgenderness as a whole. I don't understand what exactly people mean by "wanting to be treated as a man/woman". Why don't we all try and treat each other just like human beings? It seems to me that simply transitioning from one gender to another not only doesn't help to get rid of sexism and gender inequality but kind of exacerbates it? No hate, I'm really trying to figure this out and would love to have an open conversation about it with a trans person.
P.S. Sorry for my mistakes, if any, I'm not a native speaker.
@@nittygritty4049 If I knew that a business would discriminate against me for being a woman, I wouldn’t try to be the perfect man just to appease them. I would NOT give them my business. They don’t deserve my money. I would go somewhere else. The way trans people operate now, they’re paying money to the evil people, and then complaining afterward. Money is your compliance. Once they have that, they don’t care about the rest.
@@courve
So in your view people are either evil and transphobic or good and trans accepting?
In my experience there are plenty of grey areas between those two extremes. No one who has ever been transphobic to me personally has been an evil or malicious person, simply ignorant to how deeply hurtful it is to misgender a trans person or use their gender as a weapon against them.
As to why I personally live a life where no one knows my past, it is because of all the little ways people treat you differently if they think you are 'not really a man/woman.' If you are not trans you really have no place to criticize as your world is different from mine. But I have experienced living in this world as a man with a deep voice facial hair and being called a female name and female pronouns because of the circumstances I was born into. I've had managers tell me that they heard I was trans and apologize for misgendering me as a man (which I am as a ftm trans dude), then from that point on only ever refer to me with female pronouns because apparently the only way to be trans is to be a trans woman.
Other people make being a trans guy really fucking hard. If you are a trans dude I'd love to talk about it with you. If you are not, then kindly keep your judgement to yourself (smiley face).
@@dagrin666 your last bit was very humanphobic. There's no such thing as a good person saying "If you fit within this archetype, lets talk further, but if you don't, then be silent on the issue. I'm sure some 1940's warmongering German folk held similar sentiment to those who either were blonde haired and blue eyed vs those who weren't. I want to doubt that you're like those people, so please lets not use the tools of those people to make your sentiment known.
In any case, no, my view is not so low IQ that i believe there is a singular bifurcation between evil discriminatory people and good non-discriminatory. I'm not a child, so i don't hold that type of view. I thought I made it clear that there are evil people and good people. I never specified what form that takes beyond that high level designation.
I hold the belief that it is not possible to misgender a person because that would imply that there was some kind of failure in the perception abilities of the person perceiving, but the whole point of pronouns is for 3rd party individuals to identify what they see in the world around them. Its generally not possible to be wrong about that. If someone looks like a man, but wants to be called a woman, its not misgendering to call them a man. If the presentation doesn't match the desired identification outcome, that's user error.
Pronouns aren't something an individual gets to "prefer" about themselves. Would be like requesting that gravity takes it easy on me this week cuz I had a lot of cake over the weekend. In any case, there is no occasion to discriminate against a trans person or anyone else just cause they appear different than whatever norm a person wants to subscribe to.
My overall point was that evil people, whatever form they take, aren't people that need to be catered to. There may be well-meaning good people who end up behaving in a transphobic way, but they don't get a free pass just because its an unfamiliar area to them. Everyone has the opportunity to evaluate if their personal behavior is taking into account the people around them.
I won't tell you if I am trans or not. If you can't treat me like a person worth speaking to without me first fitting into a category that is beyond my control, then you're no better than those who you believe don't value you as a person unless you hide yourself from them.
Confusing medical professionals is a flex… way to set a good example. 🤨
You are the best topic pickers on the internet
Go OFF Gabe, we love to see it
I think ppl should try passing, but only for their safety.
Let's be real, hatred and religious toxicity is extremely high in certain circles or age groups. While other generations are super accepting, that just helps our bubble to distort reality.
Speaking of people being so progressive they circle back around to being offensive, I’m working a seasonal job that I also worked last year at the same time. My coworkers then she/her-ed me (I’m a trans woman) without asking, which is totally good. But now this year the head teacher (it’s like, a childcare job) is exclusively they/them-ing me (something I have never asked or spoken to her about), and still she/her-ing the other teachers (all cis women). She’s nice and I don’t think she means anything by it so I probably won’t say anything, but I’m kind of convinced someone had a misguided convo with her where they were like “this person is TRANS, do not use gendered pronouns!!!” or some weird blanket rule that cis people give when they’re trying to be helpful lmao. Whenever I’ve been misgendered in “progressive” spaces it’s always the very deliberate and self conscious “THEY” which I think people assume is better than just calling me a guy? Idk people get so in their heads and don’t ask me.
Lol also on the “pure confusion” front I’ve had people assume I am transmasc a few times, I have had doctors ask if I am at risk of becoming pregnant, and I’m like “I don’t have a uterus” and they’re like “you had a hysterectomy?”
I love this show ❤❤❤
i couldn’t donate plasma bc i have ptsd 😫
As we know, it's a condition that's passed through the blood 😅
Allison aged like fine wine gah damn 🥵
When Gabe said “when I was a woman the amount of times people would try to talk to me”. Like I want that. I want women privilege
Yes it can be easier for women to get talking to people, but in this specific context of people talking to you when you go out it actually sucks. It's generally not people you'd want talking to you, and the things said aren't something you want a stranger to be saying to you when you're out alone (or with friends - like the time an older man tried to convince me and a friend to go have a threesome with him). Harassment isn't a privilege.
I'm an anomaly lol. I'm a cis looking woman but people don't talk to me much. Not never, a few times in my much younger more leaving the house days I had total stranger guys on the street who would not take nope I just don't want to go on a date with you for an answer.
Wait am I supposed to strike up conversations with random women I walk past? Why hasn't anyone told me this yet? I do hold doors for people regardless of gender though.
They best lie together; like regarding Allison's first kiss-with-tongue.
Oh, Gabe. Guys absolutely get in each other's faces over traffic disagreements and such. Manworld can be a deeply frightening place. You'll know you're passing when some aggro asshole guy threatens to break your nose because you got to a parking spot before he did.
Yup. I was thinking: if Gabe thinks it’s a perk that no one would mess with him because of how he presents, then he’s surely to be disappointed. Dudes be aggro way too often.
@nomad61u2 I don't feel great about my comment, now. I'm a trans woman and I have all kinds of issues with how men act and how they're treated in society, but I 100% support my trans brothers and I worry I might have sounded dismissive or something. I actually meant what I said more as a warning. When Gabe was presenting as a woman he might have gotten used to arguing with guys without really worrying about getting socked, but now that he's presenting as a male there are different risks. Women face a lot of dangers in our society and I'm not belittling any of that, but being a man can also be very dangerous in its own way. As a man, you can't assume you're safe from violence. Argue with some guy in a bar, and it might turn UGLY in ways you weren't prepared for.
I think you did a very nice job articulating a lot of the subtext in our previous 2 posts. I am a pretty vanilla cis male, but really try to do the pacifist non-violent conflict de-escalation thing. However, the number of times (especially younger) males/men pointlessly try to assert their dominance in whatever random situation can be a bit disheartening. Equally so is when I feel myself bristle up and the inner primate starts to make some noise… A lot of cis men have to deal with unnecessary aggression, both external and internal, as you alluded to.
@@nomad61u2 I know Gabe really got into scraps with guys sometimes, back when he was presenting as a woman, and now it kind of sounds like he feels like he's SAFER if he gets into a loud public argument with a man who perceives him as another man. That's not how it works.
I'm kinda on side of fuck non-queer people with passing. Like I definitely get the no one talks to you or sees you as when you're a guy thing. I used to have that all the time. Now I'm kinda curious how cis people see me but I also don't really care. Because, and this is what's important to me, now all the queer femme people suddenly see me.
Like sure I guess it could be relaxing to pass some times, but for me it's far more important that the people I want to be seen by see me. Like I can't adequately express the absolute exhilaration and pure joy I get exchanging casual eye contact with other queer femme people. I guess it's all about getting what I want in the end for me as well.
Besides like how the fuck do I pass as a non-binary/agender person anyways? Like most people don't have a fucking concept for how I see myself. There's no binary switch from sir to mam for me 😂 Thank fuck I live in Finland and our language doesn't have gendered pronouns. I have the same problem with the gender on my ID. Like now the system is mis-gendering me, but if I change the gender on my ID I feel like I'd be mis-gendering myself. Sure having my name there would be nice but it kinda just feels hollow because of the reality that our system doesn't recognize my existence.
My that went places 😄 But guess I agree, it's not about passing, it's about getting what you want a.k.a. being seen as who you are. Even if that involves not being seen 😂
i've always felt this way: i don't care if ppl see me as a trans guy, i just want to be seen as a guy. that's it. that's all i want
But I know a transwoman with a full beard because her thing is she shouldn't have to pass to be respected! So is she rad or too woke? ANSWER ME GABE
Hey, have you considered raising your camera a bit? The shot is a bit low in that we're looking under your chins, etc. I enjoy your show. Thank you!
Wait, this super-cute guy is trans too? They’re the whole package.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but a conversation between the two of you being all over the place isn't particularly noteworthy (I'm saying this in the best, most supportive way possible - absolutely love your dynamic!). Also, I don't talk to strangers and I HATE that it keeps happening to me. Please, I'm wearing headphones and I'm reading a book, wtf makes men think I want to talk to them 😭
Holy shit you two let yourselves go
I have the biggest crush on Gabe😍😍😍😍😍😍