"girls bathro-" the audio book that I accidentally pressed on my home screen: " *O S C A R* *H A D* *B E E N* *W A T C H I N G* *T H E* *P L A N* *H A T C H* *F R O M* *T H E* *K I T C H E N*
Me every time I'm out in public: "there's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague". Damn that did not age well at all with the coronavirus/COVID-19 going around and us all being quarantined lmao
Yeah most games today either don't have levels or have missions and a mission in an action game lasts about 30 minutes so yeeeah that kid is just from 70
when someone makes a bad joke: Damien: k when damien makes a bad joke: Damien: *W H E E Z E* Disclaimer: I made this comment for fun, not to be told that my opinion on what’s funny is wrong. if you don’t think any of the comments that anyone makes are funny, don’t comment on them. it makes you look like you want attention
I get the joke and people are still gonna r/whoosh me but still. Backwards = opposite Sad = opposite of das Opposite of no problem = problem Das = no problem Opposite of Das = problem Sad = problem So dad is wrong
I literally saw someone at my school with that “how to spot a gamer” shirt 🤭 Edit: holy shit I forgot about this comment and yes I drop kicked that child
Nobody: Literally nobody: Not a single soul: Damien : Mc W H E E Z L E I usually don’t post comments like this it just popped into my head Also I love all the memes in the replies And thx for the internet points \(\~+~/)/ |-| -||- |-| I’ve turned into a cringe commentator I would like to formally apologize I’ve done goofed I’m a failure I have to stop Good bye Bye Don’t jump it’s October you might freeze We don’t accept people who use XD in my Christian comment section
Q: How many Lowe's would a Rob Lowe rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's? A: Well, a Rob Lowe would rob as many Lowe's as a Rob Lowe could rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's.
@@jimmyrose2700 Rob 'Comedy' Lowe, leader of the Roblowe Loweland bandits, wanting for three counts of Robbery, five counts of Loweitering, and six counts of Loweceny
1:112:35 As a Muslim viewer, Thank u Damien for not saying it, the people who've done these things ruined Islam's reputation, so thanks again for knowing that these acts don't represent us ❤️🙏🏻
I also am a Gamer and don't present any of the signs. Also, we don't think about games every second, neither is there a thing such as emergency game time other than when you're bored and you have nothing wlse
@@TheOfficialFrogCult i’m led to believe that junior high and middle school are the same thing so i’m just going to assume you go to a special private school or something
6:31 dude I seriously relate to that- I mean my friends crack jokes, and all I can do is smile silently and understand that everyone has to go through these low level humor fazes it's fine
I think the final boss of comedycemetery is this joke I got told once "knock knock" "whos there" "doctor" "doctor who?" "HAhahAHhaHAhHA U sAiD It!1!1!11!!!!!!1!!!!!!!"
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
"how to spot a gamer"
I think that's how to spot a drug addict
True
Same thing really
I'm just gonna slap my asshole with my ovaries.
@Matthew Coffman I used to have that shirt lmaoooo
Thank you
Everyone: pronounces Maya like Maya
Emkay: pronounces Maya like Mayo with an a
kingtrashpanda animations i can’t like this but pretend I did
Aayo?
kingtrashpanda animations my ya
Delux Deceived mäya
Meya
"my name is jafar..."
damien: *N O*
I come from afar
There’s a bomb in my car
Allah Akbar
-Jafar
I would comment but this is too perfect
Oh wait...
“There’s to many people on this Earth, we need a new plagu-“
Corona virus: *Hello there*
"General Kenobi"
General kenobi.
Kenobi General
Yes!! Cultured people.
General Kenobi!!!
Damien: W H E E Z E
Everyone in the comments: Write that down! Write that down!
r/comedycemetery
Reference
W H E E Z E
W H E E Z E
W H E E Z
People on comedycemetery: *finds something funny*
The same person: *nervous laughing*
I make my victims of my tourtue chamber watch 10hr comedy cemetery voiced by ai Damien
its great for getting out info
That “gamer” one is SOOOOOOOOOOO boomer.
Ponce Juergens okay boomer
Charli The Marshmallow ok charli the damelio
Okay man or women who happens to be a senior citizen.
Beavis 2310 fuk
That just made me cringe.
"girls bathro-"
the audio book that I accidentally pressed on my home screen:
" *O S C A R* *H A D* *B E E N* *W A T C H I N G* *T H E* *P L A N* *H A T C H* *F R O M* *T H E* *K I T C H E N*
Is it a fnaf book?
I hate you
Why did you do this to me?
Now Sonia will think that my fandom is weird :(
why do I see you on every video I watch
I wore that how to spot a gamer shirt.
Those years were not bright.
i hope youre doing better now
The blunder years
Oh no
I feel attacked from that one
Me every time I'm out in public: "there's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague". Damn that did not age well at all with the coronavirus/COVID-19 going around and us all being quarantined lmao
Damn. I went to post this. I noticed this and now I'm sad.
Same
Yep, now the Simpsons have predicted Trump being president and memes have predicted COVID-19...What's next?
Hold on, this whole operation was your idea.
FUCK i was gonna comment this.
"Just one more level, just one more level"
That guy that just plays metroidvanias/rpgs : guess i'm not a gamer
The guy that plays Minecraft:
welp same bro
Me who plays acnh: guess I’m not a gamer
Me, who still plays goat simulator: *laughs in dlc*
People who play battle Royale: 🖐👁👄👁🤚
Yeah most games today either don't have levels or have missions and a mission in an action game lasts about 30 minutes so yeeeah that kid is just from 70
The comedy cemetery is where all of my jokes ever will end up...
the real joke is thinking your jokes will get popular enough to be there
@@RealBrainWashedGD ouch
@Galacticadoodles Joke no funny = deep
@Galacticadoodles Bro I was making fun of you because this is nothing to do with people trying to be edgy and deep
You mean where they all are right now?
Damian : none of these are funny
Damian: *WHEEZE*
Save yourself
GT: Wystrix is going to come after you
that "no one" part ruined everything
I'm into incest.
nor is that comment funny
when someone makes a bad joke: Damien: k
when damien makes a bad joke: Damien: *W H E E Z E*
Disclaimer: I made this comment for fun, not to be told that my opinion on what’s funny is wrong. if you don’t think any of the comments that anyone makes are funny, don’t comment on them. it makes you look like you want attention
Wheeze jokes aren't funny
Ok, nah, one wheeze joke per video, more than one is annoying. There already was one on this video, made slightly before this. Delete this
@@themysteriouscatperson9483 why do you want him to delete this?
Don't you mean "when someone makes a bad joke: EMKAY"?
I guess you could say that he says emKay :)
I never thought I would hear “gnarly” and “wicked sick” outside of the 90’s
@@huyup123456 what
I've heard them but it still surprises me, each time I hear Gnarly or Wicked, I think that Punk'd still exists.
huyup123456 w h a t
@Verynn maybe in your average suburbs lady
@@dontestevens4831 Punish me, honey buns.
From the Simpsons: Press any key, " There doesn't seem to be any 'any' key!"
0:02 wouldn't her clothes be showing in the mirror too or is her clothes actually a part of her like her skin or something
bro-
The clothes are an illusion
A projection
H U H
she skinned another vampire (or they're also fake)
He's too dangerous to be kept alive!
Damien: "And Harry's like 'FFFFUUUUUUU- _ad plays_
Same
To be continued
yes 100th like
Just happened
Same
Damien: heats racist joke
Also Damien: *confused screaming*
Fun fact: the Turkish word at 5:06 is read like chop but the o is a combination of o and e
It's Kop
ö is in my native language too : ) (german)
Also it doesnt say cop when u write fortnite its a scam
@@d.perezduarte that's not what a scam is
@@troytafreshi8173 i meant it as in they were lying
I love how they talk about introducing a new plague to kill off people 10:20.
Me in 2020: coronavirus
Oof
It's not a plague, the plague is much worse
SlurpyBigMac if you watched the video they said plague. I thought as the coronavirus is around it would be suitable
@@Nicewings_ Yeah I watched it and I see what you did there but just saying, the Coronavirus isn't a plague
Its a pandemic not plague
*Me:* Dad, I'm Sad
*Dad:* Well son, Sad backwards spells Das, and Das not my problem, now go wash them dishes
NICE 100
I'll have to remember that.
I have a spanking fetish.
Mister Bird NICE 69
I get the joke and people are still gonna r/whoosh me but still.
Backwards = opposite
Sad = opposite of das
Opposite of no problem = problem
Das = no problem
Opposite of Das = problem
Sad = problem
So dad is wrong
NGL that gamer shirt was most likely made by boomers, change my mind
Nah it was made by what boomers consider today, to be boomers.
Oh it absolutely was, I remember seeing that years ago when I was in elementary. It's ancient and horrible.
Nah.
Hey, that hurt man
Deadpool yeah
I literally saw someone at my school with that “how to spot a gamer” shirt 🤭
Edit: holy shit I forgot about this comment
and yes I drop kicked that child
are they still wearing it?
Bruhh 😂 💀
How old are they?
@@rin3760 prob 8 year olds
Same
“why I’m gonna screw his goldfish”
And then a ad popped up.
“We have to do what makes us proud”
XD
finally theses ads have a use
Heh, ok! *zip*
Oh. God. No 👁️👃👁️
👄
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Not a single soul:
Damien : Mc W H E E Z L E
I usually don’t post comments like this it just popped into my head
Also I love all the memes in the replies
And thx for the internet points
\(\~+~/)/ |-| -||- |-|
I’ve turned into a cringe commentator
I would like to formally apologize
I’ve done goofed
I’m a failure
I have to stop
Good bye
Bye
Don’t jump it’s October you might freeze
We don’t accept people who use XD in my Christian comment section
Not funny.
Didn't Laugh.
Yeah neither did I
r/comedycemetery
r/uselessnobody
And r/ihaveihavereddit before anyone asks
Grados nobody asked🤗
@@isssandwich391 I'm coming out with initiative
Q: How many Lowe's would a Rob Lowe rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's?
A: Well, a Rob Lowe would rob as many Lowe's as a Rob Lowe could rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's.
confuzzlement
Comedy has hit a new Lowe.
@@krel7160 And his first name is Rob.
@@jimmyrose2700 Rob 'Comedy' Lowe, leader of the Roblowe Loweland bandits, wanting for three counts of Robbery, five counts of Loweitering, and six counts of Loweceny
Jimmy Rose ok
10:18
That person now: *I should not have said that. I should not have said that.*
no they should have
I Ha
Haha funny tall Minecraft man
Hello ranboo pfp
1:11 2:35
As a Muslim viewer, Thank u Damien for not saying it, the people who've done these things ruined Islam's reputation, so thanks again for knowing that these acts don't represent us ❤️🙏🏻
@øranuto husband not funny, nobody laughed
I literally hate bomb jokes now except the ones that are normal
@@gilgaros8745 so Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
Most of us know these acts don't represent the common person mate, 1:11 2:35 are examples of a mostly forgotten practice called fucking banter
Agreed, as a Muslim.
Emkay: Meya
Comments: Maya
Me: Jabba the hut
@@phoenixgenious this comment should be in the video
her name is 🎶jabba the hut🎶,
for a reason
Weird Fantasy
r/iamveryrandom
*"help"*
: D
EmKay: *laughs manically*" That was not funny."
10:20 “There is too many people on earths we need a new plague”
Everyone now in 2020: O-O ok...
"Shouldnt have said that, Should not have said that.."
*No one*:
*Not a single soul*:
me *grabs calculator*: Yah at 7:50 the equation is true
Yup
Confirmed with desmos
I did the same
419.5 ... close enough
@@ARandomMinecraftVillager check your math
1:18
TELL ME THIS ISN’T THE MOST BOOMER CRAP EVER.
This isn’t the most boomer crap ever
*slow clap* How original
But it is
Title: "r/comedycemetery"
Thumbnail: "r/comedyheaven"
I am confusion...
Not funny. Did not laugh
@@hyperlink463 not cool.stop it.
Dammit you beat me to it
And if he changes it I screenshotted it
I thougt i was just trippin
,,there are too many people on earth we need a new pleague"
2020:*smirking around the corner*
no one:
absolutely no one:
not even a single soul:
emkay: ''meya''
ᴋᴀɪsᴋʟsɴ Emkay Has a soul idiot
This joke is dead
@@sigmaudhd he's also someone
@@sigmaudhd you dont get it do you
@@sigmaudhd HA HA HA THAT ABSOLUTE IMBECILE
i actually laughed at the "what is sleep?" "i dont know son, were gamers"
Damiens laugh sounds like a mix of two laughs and I can't figure out how
I have a spanking fetish.
It hasn't happened yet
@@huyup123456 same let's meet up
1:20 as a “gamer” I will confirm that, yes I am ugly
Yeah but are you a drug addict?
@@rin3760 yes
@@twistynoodle9406 then you do match up with the shirt!
5:26 "did you know girls cant touch their elbows together?"
Me: fool, for i am flat.
congratulations you are invulnerable to his spells
busty girls beware here comes alex sullivant
"We need a new plauge"
Coronavirus: *Allow us to introduce ourselves*
The title is talking about his own laugh
*Damian's breaking the fourth wall*
5:03
Harry : - is a lone is 3rd year -
Drarry:
*Let me introduce myself.*
For fucks sake why do people ship them
@@rin3760 im wondering too
10:18
few moths before plauge: there is too much people on this world
now: *your wish is granted*
The Covid-19 virus is not a plague
@@slurpybigmac omg you again, its a joke
Few *moths* ago indeed
@@dreamii7089 lol
Actual joke is :
bro we are so gamer
that why we get no sleep
**Hug other dude**
Damien: “They know exactly what you need-“
RUclips: “CUE THE CAR AD!!!!”
"We need a new plague"
Np
Emkay: And Harry's like "FFFUUUUAAAAA-"
RUclips: * ad *
Damien: these jokes are bad
Also Damien 3 minutes later: *W H E E Z E*
When you’re late at a EmKay video for 2 minutes :
I'm using my shit as a face mask.
huyup123456 OOH LAH LAH
huyup123456 I always use infant feecies
"There's too many people on this Earth. We need a new plague"
The dude who made the meme: I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT.
Lol
Shoot now i gotta delete my commment bc it would look like i copied you BUT I DIDNT
@@Erw9296 hey no problem
Don't delete it
😳
title: comedy cemetery
thumbnail: comedy heaven
*somethings wrong, i can feel it*
Damien: does r/comedycementry instead of r/comedyheaven
Me: he a little confused but he’s got the spirit
They misspelled “constantly” on the t-shirt 🙄
Beth B is this a joke?
UltiMøøn no
UltiMøøn ...
Beth B r/woooosh. i have no idea what you’re talking about but why not
i hate that emoji
As a gamer myself I have all rights to say that the “gamer” shirt was made by a boomer
YEAH BOOMER BITCH
I also am a Gamer and don't present any of the signs. Also, we don't think about games every second, neither is there a thing such as emergency game time other than when you're bored and you have nothing wlse
The gamer shirt made me roll in my grave
I have several questions.
Over ur phone? To type this
Take me with you!
"why am I from the future"
-me 2069
Is the car in your
Fly
@@Efrin445 dude it's 42069 here and the greatest invention in years was the Automatic Yankit. Don't gets your hopes up for the future.
I have a spanking fetish.
huyup123456 I hAvE a SpAn- yea whatever that’s not funny I know tree bark that’s funnier than you
"How do children come in this world?" "Well sweety. First they need to go to church. They can't get the attention of a priest if they don't"
3:19 false, the girls bathroom just has stuff like “bang me” written on the pads/tampon garbage thing.
@@TheOfficialFrogCult i’m led to believe that junior high and middle school are the same thing so i’m just going to assume you go to a special private school or something
@@TheOfficialFrogCult so then the US is just different?
the girl's bathroom has unflushed toilets and an infinite supply of soap and no paper towels at my school
Damien: (laughs)
Also Damien: “not funny. Didn’t laugh.”
Damien, i appreciate your anti racism behavior, that Jafar meme, you resisted to laugh, man thank you I appreciate you
Pretty sure it was just corny as fuck
@@PippyPopsSelfHarmMonica ye but its still technically generalizing all muslims or whatever.
@@faded6399 yeah
10:19 Well, that didn’t age well.
e
“a sports it’s in the game”
Stolen
YE FUCK OFF YOURE NOT FUNNY
A ad appeared on mine (ㆁωㆁ)
10:01
My friend and me talking about a shared interest: INFINITE
actually “çöp” is pronounced more like “chop” but the “o” is also different
Sans Skelebone ik that cuz im Albanian
doruk paker thank you you said it before me and why us turkish people get triggered so easly
Adamsın
@Sans Skelebone ok
Im turk
2:43 I once said that to a doctor. I cringe every time I remember it.
Why?
@@pixyl4415 Because that's obnoxious and annoying.
Hello there
Thumbnail: r/comedyheaven
Title: r/comedycemetery
Me: *visible confusion*
I'm going to squeeze my breasts until milk squirts out of my asshole.
What the fuck
r/cursedcomments
Same
huyup123456 may i join you
“There’s too many people on this earth, we need a new plague”
Oh god no Damien you cursed us
"There are no Children In GTA"
Me: There is and That's Me.
Comment if You Played GTA As A Kid. (i'm a Kid)
I feel like you'll find this comment on reddit..
..
T
@@mickogamertv2310 I don't care
A man was rejected from a art school
*this is what happened to Europe*
Thumbnail: r/ComedyHeaven
Title: Says r/comedycemetery
Me: *visible confusion*
1:51 "emergency game time" is my new catchphrase
Nobody:
Literally no one:
Me when Damien says Maya wrong: *sheer disappointment*
Edit: thank you guys so much, I've never had this many likes
Sheer disappointment has no weakness
Pixel Treason 2 u right
@@pixeltreason2968 kochi wo miro
i AM a COCKSUCKER
huyup123456 you’re also not funny just because you swore you absolute boodingleberry goblin
Damien in thumbnail: r/comedyheaven
Also Damien in title: r/comedycemetery
No funny did not laugh
Also Damien: *WHEEEEEEEEEEZE*
Epic bug fact:
Wheeze jokes about Damien aren't funny
@@wystrix439 just stop
@@hassen1868 this guy is going out of his way to post this on every wheeze joke lmao
@@lil_sheisse calling the police on you
@@wystrix439 You're right, they're not funny, they're HILARIOUS.
When I was nine my sister ruined my innocence by telling me how babies were REALLY made
10:40
“I’ve killed more people than you have bucko, and they pay me.”
So... i am actually not a gamer?
as long as you play a lot of games u r a gamer
No, im sorry sir.
6:02 Jesus, this man can be a death metal vocalist
Elementary schoolers: I only got 9 hours of sleep
Me a middle schooler who pulls an all nighter for no reason: lol sleep, funny word bro
Honestly the ‘girls bathroom: boys bathroom:’ is one of the least entertaining memes for me
Its the most for me
10:18 I've actually said that before several times...
YOU BROUGHT UPON TGE NEW PLAGUE
You got it!
anything: *Exists*
comedy cemetery: *I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK*
That's accurate
Poopoo in my cervix!
Who else here remember the DK ‘Not funny’ meme?
I replaced it with:
“Funny”
“Did. Laugh”
10:20 *Corona Virus entered the chat*
You predicted this didn't you
Sexism has become a meme and I'm shook
Ngl I went in a game with game chat and it was spamming "men are wallets" and "girls are objects" I wish I was joking.
@@rin3760 was it CSGO?
The doctor: "Eat more greens"
Me: *"*Eats green m&ms"*
Me:**eats green cake**
*Eats my vomit*
@@Limeo_onade oh nos we don't do dat here >':V
Eats green skittle
2:37
Wow. I hate that "trollface" so much. Also when a trollface is used wrong
My doctor told me to eat more vegetables.
So I did- and I got charged with murder.
0:44 yes and a face palm for TV adverts
"My name is Ja-"
Damien: well no but actually no.
2:28 *Killer Queen has already touched that lamp.*
That intro is so fucking legendary. When I hear it I know its gonna be a good video
4:34
I’m getting the “talk” tomorrow ☹️
10:20
There’s to many people on this world, we need a plague.”
Your wish, is 2020s command.
6:31 dude I seriously relate to that- I mean my friends crack jokes, and all I can do is smile silently and understand that everyone has to go through these low level humor fazes it's fine
Meme: We need a new pla-
2020: Hold my beer
10:57
Satan 100
Me: that is too nice,
Whitney's Miltank 100
5:05 its pronounced as chop and its so hilarious xD
I think the final boss of comedycemetery is this joke I got told once
"knock knock" "whos there" "doctor" "doctor who?"
"HAhahAHhaHAhHA U sAiD It!1!1!11!!!!!!1!!!!!!!"