I have found that at "retirement", I have had to reevaluate my friends. I lost my job at 60. Now, I realize, money will be more tight in retirement. I'm fine with doing free things like walking, hiking, share a cup of coffee or book club, but I can't afford to eat out, go to plays/concerts or travel. I have found it hard to keep friends who won't spend time doing the "cheaper" stuff with me. I save so I can join them for the group birthday lunches out, but find it boring to listen to them drone on about the wardrobe they bought for their latest vacation. These were people I was friends with for years but now finances have psychologically separated me. Does that make sense to anyone?
There is still a lot that is available to you, beautiful drives in the country, having a picnic then, or camping, you meet great people camping! That's the benefit, you don't meet people at hotels! Learning to cook, and you know what goes into your food! Making a house home, candles, music, a better athmosphere than restaurants! I'm a 'cheeper' myself. Meet nice people at thrift stores. Never met anyone at Macy's. Good luck! Maybe get a dog or a cat if you don't have one.
The simple pleasures are those worth living for. I have more than I will ever spend. But I lost my wife to m.s. right before we were to both retire together to RV across the country. I can tell you the motorhome, the cars, the gear, the stuff, has zero meaning now. I focus on the simple pleasures by choice. And if friends boast of material things that they have, knowing full well that a fellow friend has experienced a financial setback in their life, then those are not friends. Those are competitors. New company is needed.
dogs! they don't care whether ur rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or plain, they just want ur love and attention which they return endlessly. a dog will never betray u and will take u on all kinds of adventures that will introduce u to like-minded people 🐕 🐾 ❤
When we go through difficult times in life and have to make changes, that's when we find out who are real friends are. Maybe you have become more enlightened and will meet new friends that share your beliefs and interests
If someone shows you they don't care about you -- believe them and move on. I would add especially if they are your family. Family members can do more damage than anyone outside your family.
I learned this the hard way and I still struggle to let go of the anger and just accept and pray for them. And, stay away from them to not have more bad memories.
It's never too late. Everyday is precious. It's a gift. 🌞 Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk. Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️
When I was 50 my dad died with a lot of money in the bank but never having lived because mom wouldn’t. I instantly learned that I was gonna die too so I started living life. One kid at a time I took all four of them on really cool trips around America. I am 10 trips in. I detoxified my life by being less political and I fought like crazy to be positive around my kids and wife. People noticed the difference in me. 😀 About three years ago I started going to concerts even though my wife wouldn’t join me. That’s OK. I still have a great time. I’ve been to three concerts in the last three weeks. I feel blessed.
Wow I’m 58 and I’m thinking about going to a concert next summer without my husband. It’s true what she just said about Mya Angelo when some one shows you how they feel about you believe them.
Ever since I was in College, I did things that I liked to do (Rock 'n' Roll Shows, travel, restaurants that I was curious about, etc) regardless of whether or not someone else shared my interests. Be curious, self-reliant, self-contained and self-propelled: Be a King Bee and Buzz all around any hive...🐝♠🎵🎶⬆☯♓❗
'I detoxified myself by being less political ' brilliant : how true - you know Oscar Wilde once said ' If you tell someone the truth they will kill you .. if you make them laugh they will get it ' Your a Smart cookie 👍
Remember that people change, even if you have been married for 30 years they can still become a person you do not know, it’s sad but it happens so never give yourself completely, always value yourself and have your own independence. Best wishes to all. ❤
I am so glad that I found your channel. I am 89 years old, still working plus ebay seller since 1997. Your positive outlook drew me in. I have lived alone for 30 years & have had many adventures,in this lifetime. Traveled for a few years in a motor home with two cats, self-employed most of my life. I look forward to seeing your other videos.
I agree with you on every point. One thing that I would add is, ”Avoid destination addiction!” I used to do this but now that I’m older I have found that it’s useless. Don’t tell yourself that: -when I have this -I’d be happy if -I’d be happier when -if, then, after…. Live for today. Time is precious and every day is valuable. Don’t tell yourself that things will change, come, happen later when you are at that “destination.” There may never be a later! Bloom where you are planted. The journey is the destination!!! 😊 Love your videos and relating to someone who is like-minded. Thank you.
This is why I believe many conversations about difficult issues are a waste of time. Such conversations often center around one partner/spouse trying to change the behavior of the other partner/spouse. It's more productive and realistic to accept that a partner's/spouse's behavior doesn't work for you and part ways.
Ideally you’d know yourself better and either choose somone else from the getgo, or resolve to accept someone else less conditionally. We all have idiosyncratic tendencies and we’d never survive as a species if everyone was a “lone wolf” all their life. When you’re unable to get around anymore most people remember/ reminisce about connections and travel. There’s nothing like forming a bond with someone in a foreign land together. It forces you to work together and triumph over adversity which builds trust and respect when someone else makes you a priority and makes sacrifices for you.
11: your physical health is CLUE to your life and mental stability. Take care of it, nurture you, exercise, run, walk, do sports, rest, eat well... Your body is your temple... Worship it!!
Everything you say is “spot on.” Add: if you don’t want to get up in the morning, get up anyway. Get dressed. Once the day is gone, you can’t get it back.
Wow. Fellow 64-year-old here. I was just this morning texting with a friend about how I’ve been worrying so much lately and how I’ve suddenly found myself addicted to scrolling through social media (or non-social media as, let’s face it, there’s really nothing social about it). Thank you for this video! It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. ❤
Boy did I need this today!! I have been amping up the anxiety and realized I need to get over this and stop worrying. Thank you!! And thank the comments made by your followers.
Hi - love your insight! I'm 65... and have learned much of what you speak of. Another Maya Angelou quote that changed MY life is, "If I'd a known better, I'd a done better". We're all doing the best we can with what we have and know at the time ...helped me let go of guilt and forgive myself. Thanks for all you do! :)
It's important to know, everyone you come in contact with, whether they are nice to you or not, you allowed them into your life. It's through the law of matching vibrations. Of course you can't blame someone else, or want them to change because you brought them into your life. When you elevate yourself, you'll be in a higher vibration and now you will be open to those that match your vibration. If you are complaining about someone or some experience, know you are vibrating the same as that person and or experience. Change your vibration to a higher level. Practice becoming a better you and your outside world will shift.
Fellow Western New Yorker, Therapist, and soon turning 64 years old. Joseph Campbell offered great advice for living a good life. Follow your bliss. You sound as though you have reached a point in your life where you are content and satisfied. I enjoy watching your videos. Keep up the good work
It's been a lifelong habit of mine that when I think that I'm having selfish thoughts I scold myself. But dammit, now that I'm 67, I've realize that I deserve to do whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anyone.
And sometimes, even if you ARE hurting them. One of the easiest ways to control a sensitive person is to say, “When you don’t do what I want, it really hurts me.” A very common way to CONTROL nice people. Learn to say no to anyone who wants you to always put their feelings above yours.
Here’s an idea for a future video. “Things I learned in life that contribute to a more positive relationship.” Here’s my two cents. (1) Look for reasons to be grateful for your partner, not reasons to be ungrateful. (2) Show grace. We all have our shortcomings. (3) Relationships aren’t a 50-50 proposition. Each person should give 100%. Of course all of these are much easier to do if your partner is also invested in the relationship.
All I can say is that as a 65 y.o. man (in 5 days time), ..... I love your philosophy. It resonates very much with my approach to life. Thank you Holly. Regards, Sean.
I really enjoy your video's mainly because they are down to earth & honest that many of us can relate to - especially those of us in our 60's, 70's & beyond! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & life experiences with us! Keep up the good work! 😊
You are so right about every thing you spoke of in this video. I think I learned these lessons myself while I was still relatively young. I have a reputation amongst family members and acquaintances of being a "loner" and some of them think I'm anti-social. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am always interested in other people. I have to walk a fine line between coming off as nosey and being interested in who another person is and what they are like beyond the superficial being that they are. As a young boy - around age 13 or maybe 14 I had a genuine epiphany. After yet another moment of terror in my home (my father was a violently temperamental man) I did what I usually would do...After the shouting was over and while the tension was thick and hanging in the air I went out the front door of the house and began to walk - to nowhere in particular. Angry, frustrated, traumatized I swung a clinched fist into a stop sign down on the corner near my house. Really messed up my hand but that's not really relevant to this story. After damaging my hand I continued walking - cool late fall day little or no traffic, hazy day...I heard a voice - someone was speaking to me. I did NOT hear the voice in my ears ...it was a voice nonetheless and I could not identify it as either a male voice or a female voice. The voice said in a knowing and understanding way and not really with pity or even sympathy but I would say it was comforting - just a calming clear voice and it said to me: "Danny, not everything that happens is your fault - sometimes things that happen are out of your control" I did not stop walking when the voice spoke but continued my walk wondering if I really heard what I heard - questioning if it was my imagination. The voice had been clear and pure and I came to the conclusion that it was real. To this day (at age 73) I know that an angel of God spoke to me in that moment. This experience shaped the way I looked at things - especially things other people said and did as I navigated my way through life. It gave me the Knowledge that there are reasons and sometimes "causes" for things said and done that are not within my realm of control - they also are not within the realm of my knowing. There are "reasons" that are unavailable to me - and to you. It was through this message that I came to know that I have no power to make anyone else think or do or say or believe anything - anything at all. While I have the ability to share my thoughts, beliefs, ideas I have no power to make anyone else accept them or to believe them. I came to learn that I cannot change anyone - nor can I save anyone from himself. While I can share or offer an opinion or a perspective on something what that other person does with it is entirely out of my hands - it is entirely up to them to do with it what they will. My wife died 4 years ago (we were together for about 20 years) and although I feel lonely also am very ok being alone. Facebook and You tube are a big help for me. Those media sites give me the opprtunity to remain well informed about life in general and more importantly they give me the chance to express my own thoughts and feelings and insights. My brain is quite active thanks to those two social media sites. I still feel engaged with life - humanity because of them. Thank you for your videos - I do appreciate the topics you address in your videos and I find myself looking forward to your next posts. Regards, DS
I am your age, separated one year, lonely, and wishing I would have learned a lot of these things you mentioned sooner. Trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ordered the book. I am always looking for a magic bullet even though I know there isn’t one.
Have you thought about doing volunteer work? Places like hospitals, thrift stores etc would love to have you! Sometimes reaching out & helping others gives us a sense of purpose & takes the focus off of ourselves. Just a thought.
Yes! To all this advice except for the belief in god and an afterlife. A Believer for most of my life, I am now agnostic atheist and happier and stronger and healthier than ever. But that is another thing I have learned: to each their own: what works for one and makes them happy may not work for another. The answers are within each of us and our oath is ours alone, unique to us ❤
My daughter thinks that because I speak of my life's partner waiting for me on the other side, that something is wrong with me mentally. I tried to cover up this evening after a conversation with her, by promising to get back on the dating sites, to prove that I'm fine. She hung up on me, leaving me feeling down this evening. Your talk, started to relax me. Recently I have been seeing a reputable Psychic Medium, with the ability of communicating loved ones on the other side.
How true about changing people I spent 10 hellish years thinking I could change an alcoholic drug addicted wife 10 years after divorce she is still the way she was I feel bad for her but at 66 yoa I have to live life for me in the few years I have left
Well said " when someone shows you who they are, believe it". All excellent points, trying to work on the worrying point because as someone once said worrying is like a rocking chair going back and forth, but you don't get very far...
Very nice list. For me - I always need a project, big or small but something to work towards. I think it is the "Harry Home Owners - Home Depot Guy" inside of me. At 64 we moved from New England and bought a 40 acre home and farm. Two years ago I lost my wife after a very long illness which left a gigantic hole in my life. I still run an overseas business, but I also started planting a black walnut orchard with a goal of establishing 3,000 trees for my kids benefit. I am 800 trees into my project which I do not ever expect to see the end results, but my kids will have a grand pay day when they are my age, and they can harvest the timber.
Give thanks for your warm bed. Give thanks for the good food you made. Give thanks for the warn shower that you took. Give thanks because your car is running well and give thanks for the many, many small things in your life. Next, if you see a homeless person, give that person all the money in your pocket because that person has none of the above to be thankful for. Give it some time, but you will begin to feel different in a very good way. SphereMotor, the future of electricity
Point number one is exactly what I needed to hear. It confirms what I had already decided, to spend the holidays with only those that love and appreciate me.
Knowing what you DO NOT want in life is a HUGE BENEFIT! What are your deal breakers? Mine are...I don't do narcissists, I don't spend time with those who only talk about themselves or are self-serving. I don't spend time with people who are shallow, ignorant, and don't care to continue to learn and become aware. I don't spend time around gossipers, people who are selfish, people who don't show kindness or have a belief in God/Source. People who are angry and lack self-control, I avoid at all costs. Once you get the basic deal breakers out of the way it's a whole lot easier to know what kind of people you like being around. It's not hard.
Great advice. I share you views. Unfortunately, I still struggle with letting go of my failed marriage. Anyhow, I do like you! Very level-headed person offering wisdom. Thanks.
I've really enjoyed the simple way you explain things and the ease of how you go about it. I'm around the same age, live in WNY, and just started my YT channel after years of contemplating it; only because life had other plans for me first. I guess it just gave me more to share for when I was ready, ( Still not quite sure of a theme yet). I think one of the biggest life lesson, for me was that I feared getting to this age most of my life. I really believed I would no longer be me and that I would be either dead or old and frumpy, (as told to me when I was 10 years old). Lucky for me, I started doing a lot of what you talk about, regarding self help and have become more educated with several of the different techniques and modalities I've learned over the decades certainly was healed by. I started it all in my 30's and continue to learn to this day. Still, I can't say, I'm thrilled being the age I am and maybe that's my ego struggling to survive, who knows. I am grateful for all the experiences and knowledge I've obtained along the way. Wishing you continued success with your channel and life. 💯💫🙏🏻
Great advice and insights! You are so beautiful and inspiring. My motto has been lately - live your life today and enjoy every moment. Working with the geriatric population reminds me of this every day. I ask my patients often if they look back and have thoughts about what they could have done differently in their lives. The answer is almost always the same - I wish I could enjoy life more than I did, spend more time with those I loved, traveled, worried less.. etc. No matter who you are or what you have, it all will end one day. Therefore, live your life today the best you can! Thank you for your channel!
I'm lucky because there's nothing drastic in my life that I would change. Sometime I'll get something in my head that will require change. After thinking about it for a few days, I finally realized I'm happy with the status quo.
You said it , sister-don’t look for people outside of you to validate you find the love and the joy and your own interests within yourself first that’s a lesson that I eventually learned and don’t be a people pleaser. The only one you. should be trying to please is yourself as long as you’re not harming anybody else, I believe in a higher power what do you call it? your God or the universe , or divine providence and I thank that spiritual force every day for my life ,for my creative talents ,and my ability at 69 years old to take out mile walk-through Manhattan and smile at people that I don’t even know ,and look into the eyes of the sun and say thank you and also to salute and thank mother Earth for my life .if you can do those things you’re on your way to wonderful life whether you’re 16 or 69 or 96 -amen and good luck in New York and in your new projects I’m rooting for your, sister , keep up the good work!
I wish I had gotten off the agnostic fence sooner, and bothered to find out that Buddhism and I are a natural fit. Until that time I had thought love/loving-kindness was naively aspirational.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Not just social media but all over, people are in endless comparison mode and are miserable for it. Being around most people isn’t worth the effort
Like you, it took me till my sixties to learn these same lessons. I feel that traversing the good and difficult portions of my life made me who I am today and enabled me to reach this enjoyable stage of my life.
At 64 myself I resonate with everything you’ve said, the simple things are what makes me the happiest, I’ve always thought that boring is better, it gives you time to think!
How can anyone not like you? You seem like a very cool, genuine lady. Very intelligent spot on information that you just gave out. I'm glad that I ran into your channel.
♥I've noticed all the colors in this video foliage such as the lamp, the coffee cup is that a book next to the coffee cup and the chair too all the same color. The two paintings on the wall and the white walls and shade. Wonderful gray sweater you are wearing as well. Such a calm peaceful setting you are in. Godspeed. 🍂🛋🖼🙏
Thank you for sharing this Holly, I think you’re fabulous 🥰 I’m 63 and I have stopped my people pleasing and started practicing self-care and it feels so great! I will quote Anthony Hopkins “ what other people think of me - is none of my business “ I agree with you on all your points Holly 🤗
Totally agree on your topics and I think you covered all the main ones. I did not learn a lot of these until I was 45 years old or so. I finally learned how to move on, quit pleasing people, making myself happy, not thinking and trying to get everyone to like and appreciate me, just supporting other in grief sorrow, quit trying to change people. Some of this I found through work experience or reading , but I finally realized these things as part or real life. In my case it took too long and and my kids could have benefitted sooner rather that later. I was pretty naive as a young adult and it took me awhile. Some never learn and never become truly happy. I am glad I did.
Just found your channel, love the many different topics you speak on. You are a very kind and attractive women. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom and life experiences. Will be looking for new viedos, thank you!
I have found that at "retirement", I have had to reevaluate my friends. I lost my job at 60. Now, I realize, money will be more tight in retirement. I'm fine with doing free things like walking, hiking, share a cup of coffee or book club, but I can't afford to eat out, go to plays/concerts or travel. I have found it hard to keep friends who won't spend time doing the "cheaper" stuff with me. I save so I can join them for the group birthday lunches out, but find it boring to listen to them drone on about the wardrobe they bought for their latest vacation. These were people I was friends with for years but now finances have psychologically separated me. Does that make sense to anyone?
There is still a lot that is available to you, beautiful drives in the country, having a picnic then, or camping, you meet great people camping! That's the benefit, you don't meet people at hotels! Learning to cook, and you know what goes into your food! Making a house home, candles, music, a better athmosphere than restaurants! I'm a 'cheeper' myself. Meet nice people at thrift stores. Never met anyone at Macy's. Good luck! Maybe get a dog or a cat if you don't have one.
The simple pleasures are those worth living for. I have more than I will ever spend. But I lost my wife to m.s. right before we were to both retire together to RV across the country. I can tell you the motorhome, the cars, the gear, the stuff, has zero meaning now. I focus on the simple pleasures by choice. And if friends boast of material things that they have, knowing full well that a fellow friend has experienced a financial setback in their life, then those are not friends. Those are competitors. New company is needed.
dogs! they don't care whether ur rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or plain, they just want ur love and attention which they return endlessly. a dog will never betray u and will take u on all kinds of adventures that will introduce u to like-minded people 🐕 🐾 ❤
Doing hobbies in groups is far more fun and interesting.
When we go through difficult times in life and have to make changes, that's when we find out who are real friends are. Maybe you have become more enlightened and will meet new friends that share your beliefs and interests
If someone shows you they don't care about you -- believe them and move on.
I would add especially if they are your family. Family members can do more damage than anyone outside your family.
true.
I learned this the hard way and I still struggle to let go of the anger and just accept and pray for them. And, stay away from them to not have more bad memories.
Very true. Experiencing this right now.
So true and I wish I'd learned this sooner.
It's never too late. Everyday is precious. It's a gift. 🌞
Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk.
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️
My favorite quote about worrying - "Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
When I was 50 my dad died with a lot of money in the bank but never having lived because mom wouldn’t. I instantly learned that I was gonna die too so I started living life. One kid at a time I took all four of them on really cool trips around America. I am 10 trips in. I detoxified my life by being less political and I fought like crazy to be positive around my kids and wife. People noticed the difference in me. 😀 About three years ago I started going to concerts even though my wife wouldn’t join me. That’s OK. I still have a great time. I’ve been to three concerts in the last three weeks. I feel blessed.
The lady makes a lot of excellent points ! And I've always thought that people who are grateful are also people who are happy.
Wow I’m 58 and I’m thinking about going to a concert next summer without my husband. It’s true what she just said about Mya Angelo when some one shows you how they feel about you believe them.
@@johnballard6725 Actually, people that are happy are naturally grateful. It all starts from you.
Ever since I was in College, I did things that I liked to do (Rock 'n' Roll Shows, travel, restaurants that I was curious about, etc) regardless of whether or not someone else shared my interests. Be curious, self-reliant, self-contained and self-propelled: Be a King Bee and Buzz all around any hive...🐝♠🎵🎶⬆☯♓❗
'I detoxified myself by being less political ' brilliant : how true - you know Oscar Wilde once said ' If you tell someone the truth they will kill you .. if you make them laugh they will get it '
Your a Smart cookie 👍
"Ultimately, we're all really here alone".....well said
Were born alone, die alone, and there's the in between! Stark truth!
Remember that people change, even if you have been married for 30 years they can still become a person you do not know, it’s sad but it happens so never give yourself completely, always value yourself and have your own independence. Best wishes to all. ❤
@Julesawakened Sometimes they become a Better Person 😊✌️
~ 🦋
I am so glad that I found your channel. I am 89 years old, still working plus ebay seller since 1997. Your positive outlook drew me in. I have lived alone for 30 years & have had many adventures,in this lifetime. Traveled for a few years in a motor home with two cats, self-employed most of my life. I look forward to seeing your other videos.
Love that: living alone, having many adventures 🎉🎉🎉. That's how it should be👊👏
That is awesome!
My God, you just made me realize what I've been going through for 20 years. I'm 63 and I almost started crying
Same. 64 years old and I’m still stuck worrying and ruminating all the time. It’s very hard to break free from it. Wishing you peace and contentment 🙌
I agree with you on every point. One thing that I would add is, ”Avoid destination addiction!” I used to do this but now that I’m older I have found that it’s useless.
Don’t tell yourself that:
-when I have this
-I’d be happy if
-I’d be happier when
-if, then, after….
Live for today. Time is precious and every day is valuable. Don’t tell yourself that things will change, come, happen later when you are at that “destination.”
There may never be a later! Bloom where you are planted. The journey is the destination!!! 😊
Love your videos and relating to someone who is like-minded. Thank you.
Too true!!
Everyday is precious. It's a gift. We are lucky to be the age we are. Do things that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. 🌞
im still trying to stop doing that
Thanks for your comment I will use it in my Facebook inspiration page. Blessings
This is why I believe many conversations about difficult issues are a waste of time. Such conversations often center around one partner/spouse trying to change the behavior of the other partner/spouse. It's more productive and realistic to accept that a partner's/spouse's behavior doesn't work for you and part ways.
Ideally you’d know yourself better and either choose somone else from the getgo, or resolve to accept someone else less conditionally. We all have idiosyncratic tendencies and we’d never survive as a species if everyone was a “lone wolf” all their life. When you’re unable to get around anymore most people remember/ reminisce about connections and travel. There’s nothing like forming a bond with someone in a foreign land together. It forces you to work together and triumph over adversity which builds trust and respect when someone else makes you a priority and makes sacrifices for you.
Looking good for 64 ❤
How about looking good AT 64, instead of FOR.
@@joniheisenberg how about GFY.
@@Mantaray911 Such a witty retort.🤡
11: your physical health is CLUE to your life and mental stability. Take care of it, nurture you, exercise, run, walk, do sports, rest, eat well... Your body is your temple... Worship it!!
Everything you say is “spot on.”
Add: if you don’t want to get up in the morning, get up anyway. Get dressed. Once the day is gone, you can’t get it back.
Wow. Fellow 64-year-old here. I was just this morning texting with a friend about how I’ve been worrying so much lately and how I’ve suddenly found myself addicted to scrolling through social media (or non-social media as, let’s face it, there’s really nothing social about it). Thank you for this video! It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. ❤
Me too
The happiest and most free I've ever felt in my nearly 70 years was camping/living in an SUV in the solitude of beautiful nature.
You are very wise!
Boy did I need this today!! I have been amping up the anxiety and realized I need to get over this and stop worrying. Thank you!! And thank the comments made by your followers.
Hi - love your insight! I'm 65... and have learned much of what you speak of. Another Maya Angelou quote that changed MY life is, "If I'd a known better, I'd a done better". We're all doing the best we can with what we have and know at the time ...helped me let go of guilt and forgive myself. Thanks for all you do! :)
It's important to know, everyone you come in contact with, whether they are nice to you or not, you allowed them into your life. It's through the law of matching vibrations. Of course you can't blame someone else, or want them to change because you brought them into your life. When you elevate yourself, you'll be in a higher vibration and now you will be open to those that match your vibration. If you are complaining about someone or some experience, know you are vibrating the same as that person and or experience. Change your vibration to a higher level. Practice becoming a better you and your outside world will shift.
I think that every person we come into contact with can teach us something, that is, how to be and how NOT to be.
Worrying sometimes robs me of good sleep.thank you for your video
Fellow Western New Yorker, Therapist, and soon turning 64 years old.
Joseph Campbell offered great advice for living a good life. Follow your bliss.
You sound as though you have reached a point in your life where you are content and satisfied. I enjoy watching your videos. Keep up the good work
It's been a lifelong habit of mine that when I think that I'm having selfish thoughts I scold myself. But dammit, now that I'm 67, I've realize that I deserve to do whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anyone.
And sometimes, even if you ARE hurting them. One of the easiest ways to control a sensitive person is to say, “When you don’t do what I want, it really hurts me.” A very common way to CONTROL nice people. Learn to say no to anyone who wants you to always put their feelings above yours.
"No matter where you go, there you are" (Confucius)
My lesson is about projects.
#1- Don’t partner up with a project.
#2- Don’t be a project.
#3- Don’t surround yourself with projects.
👍
@@truthboomertruthbomber5125
😆 On the other hand, maybe we should be a bit of a DIY project always, so we don’t turn into a complete tear down.
Lol all this from a lady that took 40 years to figure it out.
Indeed.
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
@raerae2885 😂
Here’s an idea for a future video. “Things I learned in life that contribute to a more positive relationship.” Here’s my two cents. (1) Look for reasons to be grateful for your partner, not reasons to be ungrateful. (2) Show grace. We all have our shortcomings. (3) Relationships aren’t a 50-50 proposition. Each person should give 100%. Of course all of these are much easier to do if your partner is also invested in the relationship.
It’s never easy to practice what we preach is it !
You are very right, Wes, How are you doing today?
All I can say is that as a 65 y.o. man (in 5 days time), ..... I love your philosophy. It resonates very much with my approach to life. Thank you Holly. Regards, Sean.
I will be 65 in December! Thank you so much!
I really enjoy your video's mainly because they are down to earth & honest that many of us can relate to - especially those of us in our 60's, 70's & beyond! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & life experiences with us! Keep up the good work! 😊
You are so right about every thing you spoke of in this video. I think I learned these lessons myself while I was still relatively young. I have a reputation amongst family members and acquaintances of being a "loner" and some of them think I'm anti-social. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am always interested in other people. I have to walk a fine line between coming off as nosey and being interested in who another person is and what they are like beyond the superficial being that they are.
As a young boy - around age 13 or maybe 14 I had a genuine epiphany. After yet another moment of terror in my home (my father was a violently temperamental man) I did what I usually would do...After the shouting was over and while the tension was thick and hanging in the air I went out the front door of the house and began to walk - to nowhere in particular.
Angry, frustrated, traumatized I swung a clinched fist into a stop sign down on the corner near my house. Really messed up my hand but that's not really relevant to this story. After damaging my hand I continued walking - cool late fall day little or no traffic, hazy day...I heard a voice - someone was speaking to me.
I did NOT hear the voice in my ears ...it was a voice nonetheless and I could not identify it as either a male voice or a female voice. The voice said in a knowing and understanding way and not really with pity or even sympathy but I would say it was comforting - just a calming clear voice and it said to me: "Danny, not everything that happens is your fault - sometimes things that happen are out of your control"
I did not stop walking when the voice spoke but continued my walk wondering if I really heard what I heard - questioning if it was my imagination. The voice had been clear and pure and I came to the conclusion that it was real. To this day (at age 73) I know that an angel of God spoke to me in that moment.
This experience shaped the way I looked at things - especially things other people said and did as I navigated my way through life. It gave me the Knowledge that there are reasons and sometimes "causes" for things said and done that are not within my realm of control - they also are not within the realm of my knowing. There are "reasons" that are unavailable to me - and to you.
It was through this message that I came to know that I have no power to make anyone else think or do or say or believe anything - anything at all. While I have the ability to share my thoughts, beliefs, ideas I have no power to make anyone else accept them or to believe them. I came to learn that I cannot change anyone - nor can I save anyone from himself. While I can share or offer an opinion or a perspective on something what that other person does with it is entirely out of my hands - it is entirely up to them to do with it what they will.
My wife died 4 years ago (we were together for about 20 years) and although I feel lonely also am very ok being alone.
Facebook and You tube are a big help for me. Those media sites give me the opprtunity to remain well informed about life in general and more importantly they give me the chance to express my own thoughts and feelings and insights. My brain is quite active thanks to those two social media sites. I still feel engaged with life - humanity because of them.
Thank you for your videos - I do appreciate the topics you address in your videos and I find myself looking forward to your next posts.
Regards, DS
Your thoughts are so inspirational.
Thank you very much for sharing this Danny
10 min chats...perfect in today's mental conditioning....thank you....friends/family love it.
I love how you've made your channel an inviting place for people to share their experiences and connect with others! I think it's a real service!
I am your age, separated one year, lonely, and wishing I would have learned a lot of these things you mentioned sooner. Trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ordered the book. I am always looking for a magic bullet even though I know there isn’t one.
Have you thought about doing volunteer work? Places like hospitals, thrift stores etc would love to have you! Sometimes reaching out & helping others gives us a sense of purpose & takes the focus off of ourselves. Just a thought.
@ yes a hospice volunteer until Covid
So glad you bought the book. Please take your time reading it and implement some of the techniques suggested
You're very wise! You've summed it all up very well. Two bits I could add are: "Less is More" and "One thing at a time"
My brother that had Parkinsons used to say, just put one foot in front of the other if that's all you can do
@@BecomingMe64 Great Advice for anyone :)
You appear to be a very good person. ❤ I wish you many blessings. Thank you for sharing your story.
Yes! To all this advice except for the belief in god and an afterlife.
A Believer for most of my life, I am now agnostic atheist and happier and stronger and healthier than ever.
But that is another thing I have learned: to each their own: what works for one and makes them happy may not work for another. The answers are within each of us and our oath is ours alone, unique to us ❤
My daughter thinks that because I speak of my life's partner waiting for me on the other side, that something is wrong with me mentally. I tried to cover up this evening after a conversation with her, by promising to get back on the dating sites, to prove that I'm fine. She hung up on me, leaving me feeling down this evening. Your talk, started to relax me. Recently I have been seeing a reputable Psychic Medium, with the ability of communicating loved ones on the other side.
How true about changing people
I spent 10 hellish years thinking I could change an alcoholic drug addicted wife
10 years after divorce she is still the way she was
I feel bad for her but at 66 yoa I have to live life for me in the few years I have left
Well said " when someone shows you who they are, believe it". All excellent points, trying to work on the worrying point because as someone once said worrying is like a rocking chair going back and forth, but you don't get very far...
Very nice list. For me - I always need a project, big or small but something to work towards. I think it is the "Harry Home Owners - Home Depot Guy" inside of me. At 64 we moved from New England and bought a 40 acre home and farm. Two years ago I lost my wife after a very long illness which left a gigantic hole in my life. I still run an overseas business, but I also started planting a black walnut orchard with a goal of establishing 3,000 trees for my kids benefit. I am 800 trees into my project which I do not ever expect to see the end results, but my kids will have a grand pay day when they are my age, and they can harvest the timber.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree, we are never too old to have goals and something to work toward
The idea of a gratitude list is good. It's a kind of cognitive therapy.
Give thanks for your warm bed. Give thanks for the good food you made. Give thanks for the warn shower that you took. Give thanks because your car is running well and give thanks for the many, many small things in your life. Next, if you see a homeless person, give that person all the money in your pocket because that person has none of the above to be thankful for. Give it some time, but you will begin to feel different in a very good way. SphereMotor, the future of electricity
Amen to this comment : )
❤️. I’m 52 & recently divorced & stumbled on your videos
Point number one is exactly what I needed to hear. It confirms what I had already decided, to spend the holidays with only those that love and appreciate me.
Knowing what you DO NOT want in life is a HUGE BENEFIT! What are your deal breakers? Mine are...I don't do narcissists, I don't spend time with those who only talk about themselves or are self-serving. I don't spend time with people who are shallow, ignorant, and don't care to continue to learn and become aware. I don't spend time around gossipers, people who are selfish, people who don't show kindness or have a belief in God/Source. People who are angry and lack self-control, I avoid at all costs. Once you get the basic deal breakers out of the way it's a whole lot easier to know what kind of people you like being around. It's not hard.
You look so cozy with that nice warm mug. I feel like I was watching a therapist give the 10 point summary of life in a good way. Thanks
I really enjoy your channel!! Thank you for your thoughtful content 😊
Thank you wise woman ❤
Thanks for sharing.
Like you..took me 64 years to realize that.
Great advice. I share you views. Unfortunately, I still struggle with letting go of my failed marriage.
Anyhow, I do like you! Very level-headed person offering wisdom.
Thanks.
Bingo!.. I came to the same conclusion many years ago... Happiness is a by-product of appreciation. Could go on further, but that's the key.
I've really enjoyed the simple way you explain things and the ease of how you go about it. I'm around the same age, live in WNY, and just started my YT channel after years of contemplating it; only because life had other plans for me first. I guess it just gave me more to share for when I was ready, ( Still not quite sure of a theme yet).
I think one of the biggest life lesson, for me was that I feared getting to this age most of my life. I really believed I would no longer be me and that I would be either dead or old and frumpy, (as told to me when I was 10 years old). Lucky for me, I started doing a lot of what you talk about, regarding self help and have become more educated with several of the different techniques and modalities I've learned over the decades certainly was healed by. I started it all in my 30's and continue to learn to this day.
Still, I can't say, I'm thrilled being the age I am and maybe that's my ego struggling to survive, who knows. I am grateful for all the experiences and knowledge I've obtained along the way.
Wishing you continued success with your channel and life. 💯💫🙏🏻
This is sage and timely wisdom.
Great advice and insights! You are so beautiful and inspiring. My motto has been lately - live your life today and enjoy every moment. Working with the geriatric population reminds me of this every day. I ask my patients often if they look back and have thoughts about what they could have done differently in their lives. The answer is almost always the same - I wish I could enjoy life more than I did, spend more time with those I loved, traveled, worried less.. etc. No matter who you are or what you have, it all will end one day. Therefore, live your life today the best you can! Thank you for your channel!
The quote is when someone shows you who they are the first time believe them.
You're a wise lady - I agree with most of it - 8/10 !
I'm lucky because there's nothing drastic in my life that I would change. Sometime I'll get something in my head that will require change. After thinking about it for a few days, I finally realized I'm happy with the status quo.
Thank you so much for this video!! It was very good 😊
You said it , sister-don’t look for people outside of you to validate you find the love and the joy and your own interests within yourself first that’s a lesson that I eventually learned and don’t be a people pleaser. The only one you. should be trying to please is yourself as long as you’re not harming anybody else, I believe in a higher power what do you call it? your God or the universe , or divine providence and I thank that spiritual force every day for my life ,for my creative talents ,and my ability at 69 years old to take out mile walk-through Manhattan and smile at people that I don’t even know ,and look into the eyes of the sun and say thank you and also to salute and thank mother Earth for my life .if you can do those things you’re on your way to wonderful life whether you’re 16 or 69 or 96 -amen and good luck in New York and in your new projects I’m rooting for your, sister , keep up the good work!
Great video
We learn so much with age ❤
Thank you Holly ,❤
I wish I had gotten off the agnostic fence sooner, and bothered to find out that Buddhism and I are a natural fit. Until that time I had thought love/loving-kindness was naively aspirational.
39 going on 40. Thank you for your wise wisdom ps you look absolutely amazing for your age you look 10 years younger 😀
Comparison is the thief of joy. Not just social media but all over, people are in endless comparison mode and are miserable for it. Being around most people isn’t worth the effort
Like you, it took me till my sixties to learn these same lessons. I feel that traversing the good and difficult portions of my life made me who I am today and enabled me to reach this enjoyable stage of my life.
Thank you for reminding us.
This is a great video. Thank you.
This was sooooooo good! Many, many thanks!! How appropriate?! Thanksgiving week!!
Great advice. I need to revisit from time to time. Thank you so much!!(from Japan)
That was young to lose your father, sorry to hear that. xoxo
Be Thankful what you have
At 64 myself I resonate with everything you’ve said, the simple things are what makes me the happiest, I’ve always thought that boring is better, it gives you time to think!
How can anyone not like you? You seem like a very cool, genuine lady. Very intelligent spot on information that you just gave out. I'm glad that I ran into your channel.
Thank you, I needed your video today.
I am so glad I found your channel! I am a late bloomer also and I appreciate your wisdom, rawness and keep things real! Love to you!
♥I've noticed all the colors in this video foliage such as the lamp, the coffee cup is that a book next to the coffee cup and the chair too all the same color. The two paintings on the wall and the white walls and shade. Wonderful gray sweater you are wearing as well. Such a calm peaceful setting you are in. Godspeed. 🍂🛋🖼🙏
She’s a Fall
Wonderful video!! I am almost 60 and I agree with everything you said.
Thanks for sharing your experiences and insight!
You’re very cool (you can tell yours kids I said so) and I’m really getting a lot out of your channel. Don’t stop!
Thank you! Don't worry, I'm just getting started!
Excellent advice. Thanks...
Thank you for sharing, I needed this message today
Oh my gosh. All of these things are so true. I have also realized these things as I've gotten older. Life is too short to dwell on these things.
Thanks…good advise. You are wise, caring and beautiful!
Hi! Holly another great video.
I just want you to know Holly I'm very thankful for your videos.
Love watching your videos! You’re like an elder sister I wish I had 🥹
Good video! Great advice. :)
First time watching. You do not look 64! 'Do what makes you happy' That is a big one! Got to work on that one.
How about stop perpetuating what 64 is supposed to look like.🙄
Great points and reminders ❤thank you 😊
Thank you for sharing this Holly, I think you’re fabulous 🥰
I’m 63 and I have stopped my people pleasing and started practicing self-care and it feels so great! I will quote Anthony Hopkins “ what other people think of me - is none of my business “
I agree with you on all your points Holly 🤗
I love your screen name. Lots of chocolate.
Totally agree on your topics and I think you covered all the main ones. I did not learn a lot of these until I was 45 years old or so. I finally learned how to move on, quit pleasing people, making myself happy, not thinking and trying to get everyone to like and appreciate me, just supporting other in grief sorrow, quit trying to change people. Some of this I found through work experience or reading , but I finally realized these things as part or real life. In my case it took too long and and my kids could have benefitted sooner rather that later. I was pretty naive as a young adult and it took me awhile. Some never learn and never become truly happy. I am glad I did.
Thank you
I really need this!
Truth! You are SPOT on
Hope you have fun in New York! Safe travels.
New subscriber. I really enjoyed your advice. I'm 57 and definitely wholeheartedly agree with everything you said.
Some good lessons you have learned.. stick with it.
Would have loved to have met someone like you in my life
Just found your channel, love the many different topics you speak on. You are a very kind and attractive women. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom and life experiences. Will be looking for new viedos, thank you!
I like your sweater…😎
Wise advice for anyone at any age (for 48-y.o. man from Poland too 😀). Thanks!
Its really true. So much we really need to go thru things ourselves.
This is a wonderful video as are all your videos. ♥
Thank you from The Netherlands 🙏♥️🍀