The weird change that starts to happen in your relationship.
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- Опубликовано: 29 июн 2024
- EP #36 - Not For: Marrying Each Other + Tales From the Dumpster
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It would be off brand to open with anything other than hair talk, so Caroline gets right to critiquing her new haircut, which is unfortunately more Brooklyn hipster than it is American Girl doll. This triggers memories of eyebrow and leg hair shame from middle and high school, setting the groundwork for the rest of the episode: everything is a lie.
Starting with the lies that people tell about romance in their long-term relationships! Jess can't stand it, so she insists on sharing how she and her boyfriend have recently found connection in the mundane, including a story about dumpster diving plus video game foreplay. Meanwhile, Caroline's done keeping her recent fantasies to herself. Being breastfed by a man is nourishing and gender-bending, her boyfriend gets very small and very far sometimes, and most importantly she cannot marry Jess even though it's all scheduled and everything. Marriage is a scam but we like it!
Dunkin cold cream is actually whipped cream which is actually cold foam. Claw clips are fertile (even earthen) ground for disagreement. And playing sports in high school is not a personality. Neither are Jess's college a cappella days, but the difference is she'll tell you she's cute - no questions asked.
Finally, a game of Super Theoreticals inspires a conversation about avoiding sadness at all costs, only to get horny thinking about Lion King moments later, and that's just what you get on NFE!
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Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by one hater (Caroline Winkler) and one lover (Jess DeBakey), with new episodes every Thursday.
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5f9AtKs...
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And everywhere else: podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...
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And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, @abinewhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
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Contents of this Video
00:00 - Intro
00:30 - hair is everything
7:00 - middle school trauma stories
13:00 - how intimacy evolves in relationships
23:40 - sex fantasy confessions
32:00 - marrying your best friend
43:30 - tiny hat
48:00 - what would you do
1:02:00 - when to communicate?
1:08:30 - hair is everything
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𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑
All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or mental health professionals, or really professional of any kind. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
#podcast #selfhelp #comedypodcast #bestfriendst
Caroline, I also experience that depth perception distortion! But it only happens when I'm having a really intense conversation with someone else. It's like the room quadruples in size and the person seems to become smaller and far away in comparison, but they remain at the center of the perspective distortion. I seem to recall experiencing it for the first time in a dream when I was a child and have had it recur ever since. I've always found it super weird and can't believe you seem to be describing the same thing!
That saga about the Dunkin Donuts foam was wild 😂
EDIT: I stand corrected - have now listened further and Caroline’s diatribe re: her giant forehead/cliff scenario topped it 🤣🤣🤣
Oh my God, Jess! When you were talking about avoiding certain things when talking with your family and with your mom, I saw myself and my current relationship with my parents. Thank you for sharing that, I felt a little bit less lonely with that situation 😥
You're making me feel less alone now too - thank you 💜J
I call it "Super Cuts Roulette". No matter where I go, cheap box store or expensive salon, my hair always turns out stupid and not at all what I wanted or asked for. Now I just do the cheapest cuts and I'm only mad at the cut instead of being also pissed about how much I paid. 😂
😂that’s amazing!!
Cracking up at Caroline's eyebrow story bc I did that but with my mustache in middle school. The wax was too hot and I got burned. I told people I burned my face on a baking sheet when sniffing fresh baked cookies from the oven. 😭😂🍪
That's a *great* cover story
@@daniellelearnsstuff thank you! Haha
Ok, that was probably the wildest podcast start to date, congrats gals, everyone else go home
It really was the best!!!
Caroline the hair is giving Zoe Deschanel vibes! I’m here for it
The third gift is the wizard tells you how and when you will die. I’m convinced. Or the end of something.
I exactly had the same thought! Something that I might not appreciate knowing!? Weirdly could be a major gift, pension calculations! Ha
Came here for Caroline’s bad haircut.
Don't hate me, but you got your hair cut during Venus retrograde. 😂
caroline: the subtle belch
😂 I LOVE IT!!!!
I had to stop watching 4 minutes in because I realized I also needed to wash my hair immediately. Thank you for the permission 😅
I went through a no wash phase and it was actually worse for my hair. I had more hair loss that way, my hair was just as dry at the ends as it always was. I wash my hair every day and use conditioner on my ends so my scalp doesn’t over produce oil needed at the ends. Much better. Turns out this phase of not washing my hair was just an excuse to not shower and I was actually depressed. 😅
Mmmmmm. Not feeling like showering = probably depressed
I also have somewhat tripped while sober! I can only remember that happening when I was in class or in some long boring lecture, I'm spacing out and feeling soooo tall, like Alice in Wonderland 😂
For the wizard question: I immediately imagined he'd show me another picture, but this time I was very old. It would be hard to see maybe, but I would know that I'd have a long life.
I enjoy your conversations and find myself wanting to jump in, then remember this is a podcast lol!
Sadly some painful things are truly forever, I’ve lost my mum 3 years ago, and the pain is changing, not saying it’s the same as it was 3 years ago, but I can tell you it’s for sure a forever pain
I can’t be the first person to say this but just in case. Caroline, your mute is not working anymore, babe.
I was thinking the same. It's been a few episodes now.
Us casually throwing Abi under the bus… 😬
😂I love it!!! Caroline unmuted!
My initial thought for the 3rd gift is that the wizard tells you a hard truth about yourself, something deep-rooted that you've been avoiding. You could use the gift as a key to uncovering your shadow self and healing, but it would be confronting, difficult, and painful. Not all would enjoy being pushed into facing their demons like that.
I love all your thumbnails with the orange and purple clothes!
Claw clips are so 2000s to me and they're a painful memory of my teenage self spending ridiculous minutes trying to put my hair up in a pony tail and to make it look casual. You just explained to me why I have been seeing them again lately...
Just got a haircut and showed the hairstylist photos from the last haircut SHE had given me. Just wanted shoulder length cut with a cutie little curtain bang, nothing revolutionary. The bangs came up so short that it was immediately clear to us both, I wouldn’t physically be able to wear them parted down the middle as intended without them sticking straight out. One side is significantly shorter than the other-something I’d expect a 4 year old to do to themselves. I was trying to be understanding. Hair is just hair, and she was clearly mortified. I was trying to spin it (in my own head) as a chance to try out a trendy (?) full mini bang. She worked and worked on getting them to lay flat in a more effortless way, and it was kinda cool for a minute. I went out to my car a little nervous, but didn’t go full breakdown as I had in the past for less severe mess ups. I was trying to mentally commit to it, so the next day I woke up and went to work with my bangs styled straight across my big ol forehead. However, they were apparently so effed up my boss stopped dead in his tracks despite being in the middle of a conversation with a coworker and said “oh no, what happened?!!” Everyone was silent. Took everything in me to not flee. They still haven’t grown much as it’s only been weeks and I can’t wait for them to grow a few inches so I can return to my life.
Just heard organization/procrastination discussion and today identify. Also, I was in and Executive Function Skills group once - spoiler alert, didn’t help - and learned a great term for this phenomenon: “procrastivity”. You’re welcome. 😂
Ok what went on in the executive function skills group? Sounds interesting although I know you said it didn’t work. Would you consider another group or is it just not worth it at all?
Lol y’all really showed the hater and lover side with the wizard
Caroline!!! I had these transes all the time when I was growing up where things and myself were shrinking or growing abnormally, it was terrifying. Very reminiscent of your story !
Cold cream (cold foam) is just wet whipped cream!! Fully a scam.
The wizard card scenario answers: I think that perfectly shows the difference between the lover and hater!
OMFG Caroline I have the same depth perception drug trip kinda thing happen sometimes during sex!! I AM NOT ALONE HOLY SHIT! I can't tell you how many times I have googled this trying to find someone else in the world who experiences this. It is exactly like you said, the room/bed just stretches way the fuck out and everything seems so far away and small. Is this some kind of dissociation thing you think?! Thats what my therapist said. Its always baffled me. I find keeping my eyes open helps prevent it sometimes, but its so distracting when you are trying to get off and then so hard to get out of once it happens.
Me too! It happens to me when I'm really deep into an intense conversation with someone!
The third thing, obviously, is a naked picture of the wizard.
I also had the "what happened to your eyebrows" situation in middle school, and my strategy was to just deny the allegations😂 "Nothing's different... i have no idea what you're referring to". Case closed.
😂😂😂 I love yo faces!!!! 🧡🧡🧡
Oh my god, the amount of bodily noises coming out of Caroline that get cut from the audio recording 😂
Here just to peep Caroline's haircut and she right. It's giving ... Daria
lo siento muchacha
I too have been disappointed many a time by coffee shops (wait until you watch them make you chai lattes). 🙂
OMgosh… The HS quarterback who has a pic of himself 35 years ago throwing a ball as his profile pic on FB. (True story)
I can't speak for dunkin but I know the cold foam at starbucks is just milk with syrup frothed using a blender
Do you ever do these together in person?
I started shaving at 8 years old because my mom would leave her Dove razor with the conditioner stuff on it in the shower 😂
Girl I wonder if your subconscious brain went into another dimension when you were in your drug state tripping over the long bed and small Justin 🤔 😅
ohai i am here to witness the hair
wow
People who say "Living my best life".
I, too, have massive quantities of hair and YES! I KNOW THIS “LOOK” intimately.
I must first anchor ALL of my “messy bun, casual-sloppy aesthetic” hairdo with a far-too- precisely thought out and executed placement of the massive plastic CLIP; an absolutely necessary step in MY PERSONAL achievement of “the look”- in order to bolster the bun and anchor it to my scalp.
This simultaneously removes from “the look” (and from ME, by association) any whiff of semi-cool vibes I possibly may have briefly exhibited…
‘Tis a tough, tough life out in these streets y’all’s…Thank God for Caroline n Jess, because this podcast is DEFINITELY FOR me, as I, too, am one hundred percent NOT for everyone!! 🫣☺️😩
❤