I'm the eldest of three children. My sister is very close in age to me, and my brother was born two years after her. Our parents divorced when I was about 8 years old, so I had to grow up more quickly than they did. This meant that because money was tight, if I wanted certain things (like the Polaroid instant camera I'd been longing for), I had to babysit my cousins to get money for things. I was probably 11 years old when that started. As we grew older and moved out and married, our mother still held me to a higher standard. My brother and I got into an argument because I told him that their exclusion of me from family activities, when our sister and her hubby came for visits, hurt my feelings. As usual, I was gaslit and told that I'm being "too sensitive." He also said other rude things, and I hung up before I said something I couldn't take back. I called our mother, in tears, and she was anything but sympathetic. After telling me she only had my side of the story and needed to hear his side too, she then proceeded to tell me that since I'm the oldest, it was my job to reach out to him to fix this. My heart sank, but I was also really angry. I literally said, "You know what mother!? I'll call him when I f*cking get over myself!" That was the first time I'd ever spoken to her like that. After years of her drunken insults in front of family, I decided that call was the final straw. I took my psychologist's advice and skipped all family holidays for a year. Only one other time have I spoken to our mother like that but it was after 4 days of insults, angry denial on her part, and sabotaging my attempts to clean up after her and take care of her before she was forced into residential board & care because she wasn't taking care of herself and became ill. She was angry and bitter, but I did what I needed to do to not fall down that rabbit hole of insecurity because of her attitude towards me. She was diagnosed with her 3rd bout of cancer, and this time, it was terminal. That made her more hostile and contentious, so I cut back on my visits to her. I had finally built up such a wall that I didn't cry when she died. It's been almost 5 years, and I still haven't cried. Do I feel guilty about that? Yes, sometimes I do.
Your son handled this far better than his entitled aunt. What an amazing young man.
At least you two are talking with each other and you’re not talking terms with your Parents which is a good thing
Your son is chill af.
He’s a chill guy.
OP....YAY for your son! He's a star! X
I'm the eldest of three children. My sister is very close in age to me, and my brother was born two years after her. Our parents divorced when I was about 8 years old, so I had to grow up more quickly than they did. This meant that because money was tight, if I wanted certain things (like the Polaroid instant camera I'd been longing for), I had to babysit my cousins to get money for things. I was probably 11 years old when that started. As we grew older and moved out and married, our mother still held me to a higher standard. My brother and I got into an argument because I told him that their exclusion of me from family activities, when our sister and her hubby came for visits, hurt my feelings. As usual, I was gaslit and told that I'm being "too sensitive." He also said other rude things, and I hung up before I said something I couldn't take back. I called our mother, in tears, and she was anything but sympathetic. After telling me she only had my side of the story and needed to hear his side too, she then proceeded to tell me that since I'm the oldest, it was my job to reach out to him to fix this. My heart sank, but I was also really angry. I literally said, "You know what mother!? I'll call him when I f*cking get over myself!" That was the first time I'd ever spoken to her like that. After years of her drunken insults in front of family, I decided that call was the final straw. I took my psychologist's advice and skipped all family holidays for a year. Only one other time have I spoken to our mother like that but it was after 4 days of insults, angry denial on her part, and sabotaging my attempts to clean up after her and take care of her before she was forced into residential board & care because she wasn't taking care of herself and became ill. She was angry and bitter, but I did what I needed to do to not fall down that rabbit hole of insecurity because of her attitude towards me. She was diagnosed with her 3rd bout of cancer, and this time, it was terminal. That made her more hostile and contentious, so I cut back on my visits to her. I had finally built up such a wall that I didn't cry when she died. It's been almost 5 years, and I still haven't cried. Do I feel guilty about that? Yes, sometimes I do.
I can make a reddit story video about this if you want
@gabelovescats I will think about it. Feel free to contact me again and I'll let you know.
0:59 for short
Ty
would it kill you to put the link for the reddit post in the description