As a crocheter (and knitter), small mistakes are a must because in Ireland it is said that ' you leave a bit of your soul in everything you crochet.' To avoid this, you should always work a hidden mistake to that your soul can escape! And that is something I live by 😅
@@lyswatkins9321 In other cultures, which stress how only God is perfect, it's the height of arrogance, bordering on downright hubris, for people to create something perfect, so some craftspeople and artists make deliberate mistakes. Either way the point is the same -- humans make errors. If you don't make errors, you ain't human.
blanket: _"No problem! I'll just take back the blanket and get it back to you when I'm done."_ Then of course just keep it and give her, well, nothing.
Story 2 - NTA. If someone nitpicked a gift I made them, especially anything with fibers, I’d never give them anything handmade again. It’d be one thing if it was falling apart or generally poorly made, but waaaah a couple of colors are off on some rows or the pattern got slightly skewed in one spot? No way. Sister can make her own goods if she’s going to act like that.
Multiple affairs, not to mention having seven kids and fourth step kids with his other woman in the first story, God that ex-husband life is messed up right now but it’s his own mess. Not to mention he’s been homeless a couple of times. Yeah his life is truly a mess
You crocheted a blanket for your sister in colors she chose and she has the utter gull to critic it? Fudge her, I’d ever do anything nice for her again. That was so much time and effort. I’m furious for Op.
Seriously like if ops blanket won’t do cause of a couple lil mistakes and she can “only have” a blanket that’s perfect then she can go buy it or do it herself!
If I'd get one, I'd be really happy! I'd love a selfmade quilt. I would actually pay for someone to make me one, because someone stole my kids blanket,that my grandma made for me! 😢
Blanket: my mother would call mistakes "half-assing" it. Her usual response was "if you're going to half-ass this why did you even bother?". We don't speak...
I'd love to have a blanket for my kids, because I had one, that was made grandma, that's passed away,and someone stole it from me, from our stroller. I tried so much 😢
All my clothes growing up were homemade. My mom made me rip out so many times to make things perfect that I despise sewing and don’t do it anymore. People who truly love you will appreciate your efforts, perfect or not. Give the blanket to someone who will love it.
@@fangchick93 I was lucky. My mom crocheted and knew all about making mistakes. She was grateful to get anything, even with mistakes, if she didn't have to do it herself. She never learned to knit, so she was even more happy when I knitted anything for her, even with a mistake or two, since she couldn't knit for herself.
@@soheyrazar1814 I sew and have always ripped apart things that weren’t perfect enough for me. I also sewed Halloween costumes for my children. I used to rip out imperfections on those til I remembered they were not going to be worn often and I said, what the hay, mistakes can stay!
Crochet blanket story: I’ll never understand anyone saying something like this to my own sister, I love her and if she one day decided to make me a whole ass BLANKET I’d never even think of looking for any mistakes because MY SISTER MADE ME A BLANKET.
My sister did this large embroidery art piece. I love it! I never checked for flaws...I know it's perfect because it was done with love. Never do handmade to a- holes. NTA
Paternity Issue: The mother is a horrible piece of work! She tried to force her child on a guy who didn't want that child and who was not the child's father! Then, she made sure the child wouldn't find out who the father was by being vague! To put a child through rejection just because you want to stay with a guy is horrible. He didn't want the child and the mother should have respected that. 😢
Story 4: what OP said about the cauliflower might be cheeky, but it’s also true. Whenever anyone does anything it could hypothetically causing incident. But since you can idiot, prove the entire world and trying to only results in a miserable life where you can never do anything. The smart thing is to simply teach your kid how to play safely, and that sometime they’re gonna get hurt. Nephew ran away because he realized how boring and suffocating his life is . Sis need to let that boy live, and don’t blame OP because you’re a crummy parent that doesn’t know how to help their kid develop healthy relationship relationships with fun stuff. And if she wanted a sincere apology, she shouldn’t have demanded OP say sorry.
Story 1: if OP had that kind of power over people, he probably wouldn’t have miss so many parental visits. Why is it the kids have to make more of an effort with his little tribe, then he has for the two of them. OP doesn’t have to make the kids do crap. If the court believes they’re old enough to decide which parent to live with, when they’re old enough to decline birthday invites. And #3 needs to stay out of it. Also 11 kids? That’s not even including OP’s contribution. You need to be a little less worried about birthday parties and saving up for the vasectomy. This man clearly needs.
Story 1 - I grew up with a narcissist father who cheated on every woman he has ever dated. I can tell you EXACTLY what is happening. The father doesn't actually give AF about his children. What he cares about is the fact that he looks BAD when his kids do not show up when their are crowds of people (i.e. birthday party). If he cared about seeing his kids.... he would see them. This is about the narcissist father wanting to look like the "loving father" that he pretends to be. Or he wants child support. You can't tell everyone that you are the best father ever and then have everyone notice that your kids are NEVER around. NTA. This guy is mentally ill. Cut him off. When you are dealing with narcissists, do NOT listen to their words. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know. I would bet $$ the Dad made the other kid cry for the video. "Aren't you sad that your siblings never want to see you?" Don't fall for it.
Story 3: it’s a guys trip, what’s hard to understand about that? You already told her no she couldn’t come. Why is she surprised that trying to invade the trip didn’t work. Then the audacity to demand he pay half of her expenses, and gaslight him for not being happy about it. Honestly, I might consider this a red flag . You tell your ass so you’re going on a trip and then they tell you at the last minute, they’re crashing, and expect you to spend time with them. That’s pretty creepy and invasive.
Crocheted blanket: I crocheted afghans for all 15 of my nieces and nephews. For one of my nephews, the pattern called for making squares and then sewing them together. While assembling them, I sewed one in sideways. I took it out and tried again. Nope, still sideways. After the 3rd time of messing it up, I gave up and left it that way. I was relating this to one of my friends and she told me, "That's what makes it special." Upon reflecting, I came to agree with her.
Last story: She’s all OP has because she drove everyone else away, trying to force OP in their lives to pretend her affair didn’t happen. And because OP is an old enough to leave her yet. OP did not deserve to spend her whole life as a manipulation tactic, and mom doesn’t get to be mad that these are the consequences to her many actions. OP spent way too long being the pawn, she does not need to be her mom’s consolation prize/ coping mechanism.
I highly doubt "crying birthday child" was crying about missing his siblings. This guy is a sleazeball. He wants something from his two kids with OP and is trying to make her out to be a villain. Problem is he and Janelle conveniently forget, like all things related to those two children, the paper trail left behind by his neglectful actions, especially the court-ordered therapy that he ditched. It's on record. It's probably been noticed that he doesn't have a stable family life when two kids aren't around anymore and worse, by their own choice. Because let's not forget, they're 16 and 14, *not* 6 and 4. They are old enough to be listened to by the courts.
Blanket story- please take the blanket back to fix it till it’s perfect. Every time she ask about it say “ it’s coming along but it’s NOT PERFECT YET! It’s really too bad she doesn’t understand it’s those tiny imperfection’s that make it uniquely special AND personal.
Story 2: I don’t crochet myself, but given the list of mistake she gave. OP would basically have to redo the entire thing, because even though SIL loves it and how hard they worked. She can’t stop looking at those small mistakes and can’t use it until they’re fixed. 🙄 Tell her she can buy her own damn blanket then. OP worked hard to give her something meaningful and because it’s not picture perfect she doesn’t want it. Fine, she can crochet her own blanket until it’s perfect.
It's absolutely wild, to have 7kids,and then even more stepkids. The guilting from the ex,is so crazy.. the blanket story, wow, I'd not make sil anything at all! I would be so happy to have blanket, made by someone! Someone stole my grandmas blanket,that she made for me&my kids,and it felt so bad . Op's mom in the last story is so wrong, for pushing op on the ex&kids. Just a horrible person..
Story 3 - Oof. OP's first mistake was "I'd assumed she'd understand". He needed to explain to her up front about the nature of this trip. GF's mistake was assuming that OP would be "happy she wanted to join" and acting on that. She seriously overstepped by inviting herself along on the trip. These two need to learn how to communicate better! If I were OP, I'd be seriously rethinking this relationship. She doesn't trust him, and that's why she inserted herself.
Small mistakes are common for enormous projects like blankets. Crocheting even a baby blanket takes weeks or months, if the mom wants "perfect" she should learn to crochet herself and see how much work it takes.
Story 2 - I'm also a crafter. I truly feel the insults and ingratitude from SIL. SIL clearly doesn't understand the effort it takes to make a handcrafted items, or that they're not going to be "perfect" like mass produced items. She's immediately on my "never again" list. Let her commission something on Etsy. Plus, since I'm petty, I'd buy her a "perfect" blanket some time in the future, with a cheerful "oh sorry it took so long!"
Story 3: NTA. Emily does not respect boundaries and this behavior is far out of line. Partners who can't respect friends-only established events are trash. And expecting someone to pay any part of for sonething they bought on their own initiative is beyond unreasonable.
And we know the rabbit hole that would follow if she went along. She would not do her own thing while OP was with the guys. She would tag along and expect OP to pay for her
Oh man, the crochet story makes me glad I have people around me who don't do the same craft I do, so they can't easily tell if I fudged the pattern a bit here and there. Like that one commenter said, handmade items are made with love and mistakes, and it's a bit easier for people to appreciate the beauty when they don't know how to spot the mistakes lol. I'd tear my hair out if I gave a finished piece to someone and they immediately started looking it over for where I got the pattern wrong!
Story 1 - Sperm donor only wants to use OP's kids as a prop at best. I hate when parents don't treat their children as actual whole people with their own thoughts and preferences. OP needs to document everything and only communicate with the ex through a parenting app. I'd also remind him that the current custody agreement is that he doesn't have any, and he needs to actually form a relationship with his oldest kids himself, not try to make OP bully them.
Anything made with knitting or crochet ‘needs’ a mistake. Much to my absolute displeasure it’s a common known thing in crafting especially crochet so I’ve left a mistake I made in my work because I frogged it too many times before and it shows character and uniqueness. The friend clearly knows nothing about handmade gifts because a blanket for an adult would drive me insane and I wouldn’t do it. It’s time consuming, tedious repeating the same pattern over and over and I’d get so so bored. I’m doing a baby blanket right now and the only saving grace is the switching colours makes it just that little more exciting 🙈
Blanket story: I made my sister-in-law a beautiful alpaca lap blanket in the colors she requested. The cost in yarn was $250. It took 80 hours to knit. When I gave it to her, she gushed over it, then said the colors came out differently than she’d expected. She kept going on about how the colors “didn’t work together” and how it didn’t look like the picture (it was the exact same yarn!). I took her aside and asked her if she was really disappointed with the blanket, and she said she was sorry, but she just wanted it to be more vibrant. Could I make another in brighter colors? I told her I definitely could, and told her to go pick out the colors she wanted at the yarn shop. I quietly took the ‘dull’ blanket home with me. Well, I never got the brighter yarn.I heard from the shop owner that she did go in and select the colors she wanted. But when she found out how much it would all cost, she left without buying the yarn. I asked her several times when she was going to get the yarn to me, and she finally said maybe she’d ‘settle’ for the original blanket. I told her sorry, it wasn’t available,I’d given it to someone who loved the colors (which happened to be me) The next time she came to visit, there was her ‘dull’ blanket on the back of the sofa, in all its dull glory. She never said anything, and I never knit another thing for her. Some people are not knit-worthy!
Funny crocheting/knitting story... I taught myself how to knit. When my cousin had her first child, I knitting a beautiful blanket. It was soft and fluffy. I even made sure the leading edge was thinner so it wouldn't be so thick around the baby's face and neck. Fast forward to her getting ready to have her second child. I thought that I'd teach myself to crochet. How hard could it be. Welp, it was way harder than I could have imagined. I kept trying and began to have a bit of success. I would knitting and crochet in my spare time at work. I proudly showed a co-worker my work on the blanket. My co-worker's response was, "So you don't like your cousin very much at all."😂😂😂 I immediately began unraveling the blanket while laughing and telling her I loved my cousin. She then kept saying it "wasn't that bad". I told her it was ok and thanked her for being honest with me. I then knit a second blanket with different accent colors. When I think back on my crocheting all I can do is laugh!!!😊🤣😂
*sitting here crocheting while listening* oh hellll naw. that person would never get another hand made item from me ever. also as one other commenter said 'deliberate imperfection' so to let ayour soul out of your work.. if you are a crafter of any sort look into the concept its fascinating
Story 1: There is one other aspect and based on what I am hearing, the other reason why the deadbeat sperm donor wants his children to visit, ever think how much a babysitter would cost to look out after 7 children? I would not put it back the deadbeat to use his children to look after their siblings and not pay for them. Sounds like there is more there, and not cause the children miss them. More like deadbeat needs them more than they need him.
Story 4: Oh nooo, Op let her nephew enjoy sports, have 1 meal at mcdonalds and enjoyed cake at a birthday: THE HORROR… NTA Op, your sister is just an awful parent and your nephew is realizing how bad she is. Please be there for your poor nephew, the kid is going to need it
Nephew story: That kid is going to grow up resenting his mother. He will bolt the moment he turns 18 and never speak to her again. That will be OP's fault too. 🙄
Story 5 - Poor OP. It's bad enough being the affair child in a situation like that, but her mom made things infinitely worse. I hope she has a good support system of friends and other trusted adults that she can lean on once she turns 18.
God crochet is hard work. Coming from crocheter. Mistakes will happen. Guess what with little Mistakes i do my kids always love their present. It me whom hard on me will redo over and over.
The 4th story, if OP's sister doesn't change, it's just going to get worse. OP's nephew will grow up to be either one of those kids who don't understand anything in the real world when they leave home for college, will let people take advantage of him, won't know what red flags or boundaries are or he will simply grow up to resent her or both. When I hear of parents like her, I think of the mother from the It remake. She made her son believe he was mentally sick, until the pharmacist made him realise that actually nothing was wrong with him, before that, she had made her son believe that his friends didn't care about him after he had broken his arm and once he found out the truth from the pharmacist, he got angry and took off to find his friends. I think he went back home afterwards cause he was like 13 but things probably changed. As for this, OP's sister shouldn't be surprised if her son runs away from home continually. OP isn't to blame, he's NTA. I feel for his nephew, he must have a very boring life.
So, hear me out. I was 60 years old when I did an Ancestry DNA test ... result: I am 1/2 Italian. The problem is my father was NOT Italian. I have no matches on my father's side. Just a bunch of Italian-sounding names. My dad was not by bio father. What a revelation. No idea who, what, where, when!
Have you thought husband wants them there so you get their kid a birthday present? I can't imagine that they can afford to get their kids much so inviting a lot of people makes up the difference
Story 4 - OP's sister needs to relax. There are many benefits to playing sports, and the McD's and cake were a birthday treat! She's already driving her child away, and that's all on her, not OP. If she doesn't change her ways, she'll be screaming at OP 10 years from now how it's his fault that her son has gone NC with her.
My mother and 2 of my sisters crochet. I have seen all of them at one time or another make a mistake and have to unravel a lot of their work to fix it. OP is NTA.
Story 2: as a crocheter those dont sound like minor issues like you used the wrong color and messed up the pattern so instead of three row stripes there are now random 1 row stripes here and there? Like I would get the odd dropped stitch, dye lot issues or even maybe the blanket being smaller than expected. But she handpicked the colors and you still had the wrong colors? This does sound like a half assed gift and honestly I swear that now half the people on reddit who come crying about how someone doesn't appreciate their hard work on a gift are just taking advantage of the fact most commentors does know what effort in those crafts actually looks like and handmade gifts get a bigger pass on being shit. Seriously I've seen two posts now where an op was ripped to shreds for not appreciating a crocheted gift and im looking at it like "oh so they dont like you and really wanted to off load that ugly yarn"
@nancyomalley6286 no I'm someone who doesn't believe in using "it's handmade" as an excuse to give bad gifts. Also I'm not sure you realize how big of a mistake forgetting entire rows is.
S1 his a dead beat dad if the kids don’t want to see the other kids that’s up to them in few months she will be next ex wife sure there’s another to be wife and kids somewhere S2 she can fix it herself as it’s so easy she’s a narcissist and ungrateful leave her to it S3 she’s controlling and manipulative no means no bye huge red flag
S1 his a dead beat dad if the kids don’t want to see the other kids that’s up to them in few months she will be next ex wife sure there’s another to be wife and kids somewhere
Once again someone who CANT do it thinks they can TEACH it. Do not redo it and NEVER do another thing for her. She thinks she knows so much she can do it.
As a crocheter (and knitter), small mistakes are a must because in Ireland it is said that ' you leave a bit of your soul in everything you crochet.' To avoid this, you should always work a hidden mistake to that your soul can escape! And that is something I live by 😅
If she wants flawless then she can get a blanket that was machine manufactured from a store
Love that tradition! A hidden mistake makes it unique and special, not flawed
In some cultures, the devil is jealous of perfection, so the maker INTENTIONALLY puts in a few mistakes to ward off the bad luck!
I freaking love that!!!!
@@lyswatkins9321 In other cultures, which stress how only God is perfect, it's the height of arrogance, bordering on downright hubris, for people to create something perfect, so some craftspeople and artists make deliberate mistakes. Either way the point is the same -- humans make errors. If you don't make errors, you ain't human.
blanket: _"No problem! I'll just take back the blanket and get it back to you when I'm done."_ Then of course just keep it and give her, well, nothing.
Agree! Obviously SIL has never crocheted.
Exactly! Take it back and let her deal with her 'perfectionism' on her own
I might start unraveling it right there.
Crocheted a Blanket: My money says she was going to pass the blanket off to someone else, as something she did. Maybe even sell it.
Like on Etsy
That's my thoughts after she critique the blanket so hard. Paying customers will have a higher expectations than family getting a gift.
Wow. That’s a whole nother level of selfish.
@@susankaempfer8427 And EVIL!
Story 2 - NTA. If someone nitpicked a gift I made them, especially anything with fibers, I’d never give them anything handmade again. It’d be one thing if it was falling apart or generally poorly made, but waaaah a couple of colors are off on some rows or the pattern got slightly skewed in one spot? No way. Sister can make her own goods if she’s going to act like that.
Multiple affairs, not to mention having seven kids and fourth step kids with his other woman in the first story, God that ex-husband life is messed up right now but it’s his own mess. Not to mention he’s been homeless a couple of times. Yeah his life is truly a mess
not just him, his wife as well
Trip story: Notice she bought the tix and waited to tell you after she bought them, this was intentional & she knew you would say no
You crocheted a blanket for your sister in colors she chose and she has the utter gull to critic it? Fudge her, I’d ever do anything nice for her again. That was so much time and effort. I’m furious for Op.
Seriously like if ops blanket won’t do cause of a couple lil mistakes and she can “only have” a blanket that’s perfect then she can go buy it or do it herself!
And now she probably has a reluctancy to make anything for anyone again thanks to her bs
Completely agree! That kind of attitude doesn’t deserve another handmade gift ever again
Gall. Gull is a bird
If I'd get one, I'd be really happy! I'd love a selfmade quilt. I would actually pay for someone to make me one, because someone stole my kids blanket,that my grandma made for me! 😢
This mom using her kid as a pawn is absolutely heartbreaking-OP deserves so much better
Blanket: my mother would call mistakes "half-assing" it. Her usual response was "if you're going to half-ass this why did you even bother?". We don't speak...
I'm sorry that your mom sucks. My mom was always amazed with what I could do with knit and crochet
I'd love to have a blanket for my kids, because I had one, that was made grandma, that's passed away,and someone stole it from me, from our stroller. I tried so much 😢
All my clothes growing up were homemade. My mom made me rip out so many times to make things perfect that I despise sewing and don’t do it anymore.
People who truly love you will appreciate your efforts, perfect or not. Give the blanket to someone who will love it.
@@fangchick93 I was lucky. My mom crocheted and knew all about making mistakes. She was grateful to get anything, even with mistakes, if she didn't have to do it herself. She never learned to knit, so she was even more happy when I knitted anything for her, even with a mistake or two, since she couldn't knit for herself.
@@soheyrazar1814 I sew and have always ripped apart things that weren’t perfect enough for me. I also sewed Halloween costumes for my children. I used to rip out imperfections on those til I remembered they were not going to be worn often and I said, what the hay, mistakes can stay!
You don't invite yourself on someone else's group trip. That's so weird.
Poor nephew just wants to have fun. Helicopter mom is overbearing.
Crochet blanket story: I’ll never understand anyone saying something like this to my own sister, I love her and if she one day decided to make me a whole ass BLANKET I’d never even think of looking for any mistakes because MY SISTER MADE ME A BLANKET.
My sister did this large embroidery art piece. I love it! I never checked for flaws...I know it's perfect because it was done with love.
Never do handmade to a- holes. NTA
Paternity Issue: The mother is a horrible piece of work! She tried to force her child on a guy who didn't want that child and who was not the child's father! Then, she made sure the child wouldn't find out who the father was by being vague! To put a child through rejection just because you want to stay with a guy is horrible. He didn't want the child and the mother should have respected that. 😢
Story 4. Nta. Omg talk about a smothering mom.
She is buying him a one way ticket to NO contact.
Story 4: what OP said about the cauliflower might be cheeky, but it’s also true. Whenever anyone does anything it could hypothetically causing incident. But since you can idiot, prove the entire world and trying to only results in a miserable life where you can never do anything. The smart thing is to simply teach your kid how to play safely, and that sometime they’re gonna get hurt.
Nephew ran away because he realized how boring and suffocating his life is . Sis need to let that boy live, and don’t blame OP because you’re a crummy parent that doesn’t know how to help their kid develop healthy relationship relationships with fun stuff.
And if she wanted a sincere apology, she shouldn’t have demanded OP say sorry.
Story 1: if OP had that kind of power over people, he probably wouldn’t have miss so many parental visits. Why is it the kids have to make more of an effort with his little tribe, then he has for the two of them. OP doesn’t have to make the kids do crap. If the court believes they’re old enough to decide which parent to live with, when they’re old enough to decline birthday invites. And #3 needs to stay out of it.
Also 11 kids? That’s not even including OP’s contribution. You need to be a little less worried about birthday parties and saving up for the vasectomy. This man clearly needs.
Story 1 - I grew up with a narcissist father who cheated on every woman he has ever dated. I can tell you EXACTLY what is happening. The father doesn't actually give AF about his children. What he cares about is the fact that he looks BAD when his kids do not show up when their are crowds of people (i.e. birthday party). If he cared about seeing his kids.... he would see them. This is about the narcissist father wanting to look like the "loving father" that he pretends to be. Or he wants child support. You can't tell everyone that you are the best father ever and then have everyone notice that your kids are NEVER around. NTA. This guy is mentally ill. Cut him off. When you are dealing with narcissists, do NOT listen to their words. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know. I would bet $$ the Dad made the other kid cry for the video. "Aren't you sad that your siblings never want to see you?" Don't fall for it.
Story 3: it’s a guys trip, what’s hard to understand about that? You already told her no she couldn’t come. Why is she surprised that trying to invade the trip didn’t work. Then the audacity to demand he pay half of her expenses, and gaslight him for not being happy about it.
Honestly, I might consider this a red flag . You tell your ass so you’re going on a trip and then they tell you at the last minute, they’re crashing, and expect you to spend time with them. That’s pretty creepy and invasive.
It definitely is a red flag.
Her insecurity and controlling tendencies are showing.
Crocheted blanket: I crocheted afghans for all 15 of my nieces and nephews. For one of my nephews, the pattern called for making squares and then sewing them together. While assembling them, I sewed one in sideways. I took it out and tried again. Nope, still sideways. After the 3rd time of messing it up, I gave up and left it that way. I was relating this to one of my friends and she told me, "That's what makes it special." Upon reflecting, I came to agree with her.
Last story: She’s all OP has because she drove everyone else away, trying to force OP in their lives to pretend her affair didn’t happen. And because OP is an old enough to leave her yet. OP did not deserve to spend her whole life as a manipulation tactic, and mom doesn’t get to be mad that these are the consequences to her many actions.
OP spent way too long being the pawn, she does not need to be her mom’s consolation prize/ coping mechanism.
I highly doubt "crying birthday child" was crying about missing his siblings. This guy is a sleazeball. He wants something from his two kids with OP and is trying to make her out to be a villain. Problem is he and Janelle conveniently forget, like all things related to those two children, the paper trail left behind by his neglectful actions, especially the court-ordered therapy that he ditched. It's on record.
It's probably been noticed that he doesn't have a stable family life when two kids aren't around anymore and worse, by their own choice. Because let's not forget, they're 16 and 14, *not* 6 and 4. They are old enough to be listened to by the courts.
Agree and I wouldn’t be surprised if he simply found a video of a child crying and sent that to Op
Blanket story- please take the blanket back to fix it till it’s perfect. Every time she ask about it say “ it’s coming along but it’s NOT PERFECT YET! It’s really too bad she doesn’t understand it’s those tiny imperfection’s that make it uniquely special AND personal.
@@mellttabor2134 hi crocheter here. What op described are not a tiny issues.
Story 2: I don’t crochet myself, but given the list of mistake she gave. OP would basically have to redo the entire thing, because even though SIL loves it and how hard they worked. She can’t stop looking at those small mistakes and can’t use it until they’re fixed. 🙄
Tell her she can buy her own damn blanket then. OP worked hard to give her something meaningful and because it’s not picture perfect she doesn’t want it. Fine, she can crochet her own blanket until it’s perfect.
@@Dphantomfan369 hi I crochet, what op describes: not small mistakes.
Like you don't have to crochet to see them.
It's absolutely wild, to have 7kids,and then even more stepkids. The guilting from the ex,is so crazy.. the blanket story, wow, I'd not make sil anything at all! I would be so happy to have blanket, made by someone! Someone stole my grandmas blanket,that she made for me&my kids,and it felt so bad . Op's mom in the last story is so wrong, for pushing op on the ex&kids. Just a horrible person..
Story 3 - Oof. OP's first mistake was "I'd assumed she'd understand". He needed to explain to her up front about the nature of this trip. GF's mistake was assuming that OP would be "happy she wanted to join" and acting on that. She seriously overstepped by inviting herself along on the trip. These two need to learn how to communicate better! If I were OP, I'd be seriously rethinking this relationship. She doesn't trust him, and that's why she inserted herself.
Small mistakes are common for enormous projects like blankets. Crocheting even a baby blanket takes weeks or months, if the mom wants "perfect" she should learn to crochet herself and see how much work it takes.
Story 2 - I'm also a crafter. I truly feel the insults and ingratitude from SIL. SIL clearly doesn't understand the effort it takes to make a handcrafted items, or that they're not going to be "perfect" like mass produced items. She's immediately on my "never again" list. Let her commission something on Etsy. Plus, since I'm petty, I'd buy her a "perfect" blanket some time in the future, with a cheerful "oh sorry it took so long!"
Story 3: NTA. Emily does not respect boundaries and this behavior is far out of line. Partners who can't respect friends-only established events are trash. And expecting someone to pay any part of for sonething they bought on their own initiative is beyond unreasonable.
And we know the rabbit hole that would follow if she went along. She would not do her own thing while OP was with the guys. She would tag along and expect OP to pay for her
Oh man, the crochet story makes me glad I have people around me who don't do the same craft I do, so they can't easily tell if I fudged the pattern a bit here and there. Like that one commenter said, handmade items are made with love and mistakes, and it's a bit easier for people to appreciate the beauty when they don't know how to spot the mistakes lol. I'd tear my hair out if I gave a finished piece to someone and they immediately started looking it over for where I got the pattern wrong!
Let's not mention those stray hairs that always end up crocheted into large projects 😊
Story 1 - Sperm donor only wants to use OP's kids as a prop at best. I hate when parents don't treat their children as actual whole people with their own thoughts and preferences. OP needs to document everything and only communicate with the ex through a parenting app. I'd also remind him that the current custody agreement is that he doesn't have any, and he needs to actually form a relationship with his oldest kids himself, not try to make OP bully them.
She thought you would be happy she invited herself on a boys trip. Did she magically become a guy?
The blanket story those “mistakes” are not quick fixes.
Anything made with knitting or crochet ‘needs’ a mistake. Much to my absolute displeasure it’s a common known thing in crafting especially crochet so I’ve left a mistake I made in my work because I frogged it too many times before and it shows character and uniqueness. The friend clearly knows nothing about handmade gifts because a blanket for an adult would drive me insane and I wouldn’t do it. It’s time consuming, tedious repeating the same pattern over and over and I’d get so so bored. I’m doing a baby blanket right now and the only saving grace is the switching colours makes it just that little more exciting 🙈
Story #1: NTA!! Tell him that you're going to ask for double child support payments! I bet he'll leave you alone then!!
he probably wants them around to help care for the younger ones so he can make more with janelle
Story 1: 11 kids total? Dude needs to learn kids aren't pokemon cards, you don't need to collect them.
Blanket story: I made my sister-in-law a beautiful alpaca lap blanket in the colors she requested. The cost in yarn was $250. It took 80 hours to knit. When I gave it to her, she gushed over it, then said the colors came out differently than she’d expected. She kept going on about how the colors “didn’t work together” and how it didn’t look like the picture (it was the exact same yarn!). I took her aside and asked her if she was really disappointed with the blanket, and she said she was sorry, but she just wanted it to be more vibrant. Could I make another in brighter colors? I told her I definitely could, and told her to go pick out the colors she wanted at the yarn shop. I quietly took the ‘dull’ blanket home with me.
Well, I never got the brighter yarn.I heard from the shop owner that she did go in and select the colors she wanted. But when she found out how much it would all cost, she left without buying the yarn. I asked her several times when she was going to get the yarn to me, and she finally said maybe she’d ‘settle’ for the original blanket. I told her sorry, it wasn’t available,I’d given it to someone who loved the colors (which happened to be me)
The next time she came to visit, there was her ‘dull’ blanket on the back of the sofa, in all its dull glory. She never said anything, and I never knit another thing for her. Some people are not knit-worthy!
Your kids don't want to be babysitters to Dads brood. Teenage kids get to choose, the court says so. Send him a copy.
Let your bro know its not good enough. Donate it for a church raffle.
Sorry Emily, it's a bro trip. All would be miserable.
12 times???
TWELVE???
That she KNOWS of. 🤦
Funny crocheting/knitting story...
I taught myself how to knit. When my cousin had her first child, I knitting a beautiful blanket. It was soft and fluffy. I even made sure the leading edge was thinner so it wouldn't be so thick around the baby's face and neck. Fast forward to her getting ready to have her second child. I thought that I'd teach myself to crochet. How hard could it be. Welp, it was way harder than I could have imagined. I kept trying and began to have a bit of success. I would knitting and crochet in my spare time at work. I proudly showed a co-worker my work on the blanket. My co-worker's response was, "So you don't like your cousin very much at all."😂😂😂 I immediately began unraveling the blanket while laughing and telling her I loved my cousin. She then kept saying it "wasn't that bad". I told her it was ok and thanked her for being honest with me. I then knit a second blanket with different accent colors. When I think back on my crocheting all I can do is laugh!!!😊🤣😂
Story 3. NTA. She’s needing a lesson in boundaries. Yikes
*sitting here crocheting while listening* oh hellll naw. that person would never get another hand made item from me ever. also as one other commenter said 'deliberate imperfection' so to let ayour soul out of your work.. if you are a crafter of any sort look into the concept its fascinating
Story 1: There is one other aspect and based on what I am hearing, the other reason why the deadbeat sperm donor wants his children to visit, ever think how much a babysitter would cost to look out after 7 children? I would not put it back the deadbeat to use his children to look after their siblings and not pay for them. Sounds like there is more there, and not cause the children miss them. More like deadbeat needs them more than they need him.
Story 4: Oh nooo, Op let her nephew enjoy sports, have 1 meal at mcdonalds and enjoyed cake at a birthday: THE HORROR…
NTA Op, your sister is just an awful parent and your nephew is realizing how bad she is.
Please be there for your poor nephew, the kid is going to need it
*IF* she even let's OP have contact with her son again. She sounds very vindictive and UNHINGED!
Nephew story: That kid is going to grow up resenting his mother. He will bolt the moment he turns 18 and never speak to her again. That will be OP's fault too. 🙄
Story 3. Nta. She is being pushy and manipulative by doing that. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Something tells me the mothers of the kids in Stories 4 & 5 are going to be no-contacted and then pretend that they don't know why.
Creepy girlfriend.
Story 5 - Poor OP. It's bad enough being the affair child in a situation like that, but her mom made things infinitely worse. I hope she has a good support system of friends and other trusted adults that she can lean on once she turns 18.
Story 1: Is OP’s Ex Nick Cannon? The kids will have to DNA every future partner just to make sure they aren’t hooking up with a long lost sibling. 🤮
I’ve also heard that those Organic Cauliflowers from Waitrose could be fatal.
Story 4: Sister is going to turn her son into a neurotic potato. Not playing sports? How is the child supposed to develop physically?
He'll end up like the kid Ricky in "Better Off Dead," a total Momma's boy
Crochet Worthy. This is 💯 true.
Cheated 12 times?! So the straw that broke your back was the 12th time not the other 11?! 😂😂😂
Agree first time should be the dealbreaker
She didn't find out until he cheated during her second pregnancy so she divorced him then She didn't know about the previous ones then!
Story #2: Tell her the next thing you make will be her shroud!!
Use 'gold' yarn!
11:46 the mother is awful, why would she do this to this child. Good on op to understand what is going on and separated her self from this.
God crochet is hard work. Coming from crocheter. Mistakes will happen. Guess what with little Mistakes i do my kids always love their present. It me whom hard on me will redo over and over.
Give the sister a crochet hook and yarn then tell her to get on with it if she wants perfection!
The 4th story, if OP's sister doesn't change, it's just going to get worse. OP's nephew will grow up to be either one of those kids who don't understand anything in the real world when they leave home for college, will let people take advantage of him, won't know what red flags or boundaries are or he will simply grow up to resent her or both. When I hear of parents like her, I think of the mother from the It remake. She made her son believe he was mentally sick, until the pharmacist made him realise that actually nothing was wrong with him, before that, she had made her son believe that his friends didn't care about him after he had broken his arm and once he found out the truth from the pharmacist, he got angry and took off to find his friends. I think he went back home afterwards cause he was like 13 but things probably changed. As for this, OP's sister shouldn't be surprised if her son runs away from home continually. OP isn't to blame, he's NTA. I feel for his nephew, he must have a very boring life.
No. Shes wrong to invite herself. Assume you would be glad. Then charges you. !!! Get rid of her.
what the hell is with the dad and his "wife" in story 1? What are they, ancient rulers?
So, hear me out. I was 60 years old when I did an Ancestry DNA test ... result: I am 1/2 Italian. The problem is my father was NOT Italian. I have no matches on my father's side. Just a bunch of Italian-sounding names. My dad was not by bio father. What a revelation. No idea who, what, where, when!
Have you thought husband wants them there so you get their kid a birthday present? I can't imagine that they can afford to get their kids much so inviting a lot of people makes up the difference
If your ex wanted the kids to be together and be family then he shouldn’t have cheat
Story 4 - OP's sister needs to relax. There are many benefits to playing sports, and the McD's and cake were a birthday treat! She's already driving her child away, and that's all on her, not OP. If she doesn't change her ways, she'll be screaming at OP 10 years from now how it's his fault that her son has gone NC with her.
Story 1. Nta. Tell him the kids will show up as often as he does..
S1: fail to see how anyone could be missed in that army…
"He'll want to know you"? WTF?
My mother and 2 of my sisters crochet. I have seen all of them at one time or another make a mistake and have to unravel a lot of their work to fix it. OP is NTA.
Story 2: as a crocheter those dont sound like minor issues like you used the wrong color and messed up the pattern so instead of three row stripes there are now random 1 row stripes here and there?
Like I would get the odd dropped stitch, dye lot issues or even maybe the blanket being smaller than expected.
But she handpicked the colors and you still had the wrong colors?
This does sound like a half assed gift and honestly I swear that now half the people on reddit who come crying about how someone doesn't appreciate their hard work on a gift are just taking advantage of the fact most commentors does know what effort in those crafts actually looks like and handmade gifts get a bigger pass on being shit.
Seriously I've seen two posts now where an op was ripped to shreds for not appreciating a crocheted gift and im looking at it like "oh so they dont like you and really wanted to off load that ugly yarn"
^^^ I found the ungrateful sister!
@nancyomalley6286 no I'm someone who doesn't believe in using "it's handmade" as an excuse to give bad gifts.
Also I'm not sure you realize how big of a mistake forgetting entire rows is.
S1 his a dead beat dad if the kids don’t want to see the other kids that’s up to them in few months she will be next ex wife sure there’s another to be wife and kids somewhere
S2 she can fix it herself as it’s so easy she’s a narcissist and ungrateful leave her to it
S3 she’s controlling and manipulative no means no bye huge red flag
Hi XO
S1 his a dead beat dad if the kids don’t want to see the other kids that’s up to them in few months she will be next ex wife sure there’s another to be wife and kids somewhere
Every time you change the color of the thread you make a knot..... ? 14:49
Send all the texts to a judge. I bet they’d like to know what’s really happen
Once again someone who CANT do it thinks they can TEACH it. Do not redo it and NEVER do another thing for her. She thinks she knows so much she can do it.
Story 5: NTA. Witch is an abysive fraud