Because the cheater is usually the one who kisses the families butt and pretends to be sweet, innocent and kind while ripping them off or sleeping with other family members partners. Only the black sheep members see through and call them out
Depends on if she was considered a tenant or not.. She would need a signed lease agreement.. probably doesn't have one Or Utility bills with her name on them.. again probably not Or A signed rental application.. again probably not.. Or Bank statements showing rental payments.. probably another strike.. Or A letter from the land lord confirming tenancy.. Im guessing the sister has none of these..
In many places if she's been living in his home for a certain period of time, she's a legal resident. (2 weeks or 30 days etc) This is especially true is she's received mail there, or her ID is registered to that address. She wouldn't need much to prove that she has been living there... Any piece of mail would do, probably some photos. The police probably would have made him let her back inside until he properly evicted her, had she called.
@@bluexwings so your saying i can proof tenancy by sending a peice of mail to my neighbors mailbox and having a picture of me sitting on their couch... 😆
Without any of the paperwork I mentioned above she's gonna have a hard time proving that she actually lived there and didn't just sleep there now and again... Idk how a photo can prove you live there and aren't just a guest
Story 1: Holy GOLDEN CHILD Batman… “Hey i know your sister slept with your husband and got pregnant but…come on your being awful by not helping her” NTA Op, not even a little, anyone wana bet that mommy dearest here didn’t say a word to Op’s sister when the affair came out and just expected Op to “get over it” God Op’s family sucks
Part that gets me is when the husbands leave their wives for the new partner… then realise they don’t actually like the person they’re sleeping with. If they don’t like them then why sleep with them?!
@@mattwho81I can answer that - because when it's an affair it's easy, just spend little time with them focused on the fun stuff of a relationship. Once things get serious and they spend the whole day with them they realise their true colours and think they're better off alone.
Yeah if OP is renting, now's a real good time to secretly find a new place and don't tell anyone. Remain NC, use only a burner phone or voice over IP if OP really needs to contact the parents. God, nothing but an orbit of losers around OP.
Story 2: Tell him to feed himself. If he wants to take turns choosing the food, then he could have brought that up instead of insulting her choices. Instead he acts like a brat who didn't get his chicken nuggets
Thank you. He’s not deprived of these foods and can easily get them himself. It’s him trying to control OP which I hope she reads these comments and see that she’s better off without him.
Food cost money. Why did OP's boyfriend expect to get free meals? After she started eating the foods she liked, the boyfriend stopped coming over. Good riddance.
4:54 He's complaining about nothing because he's bored OP is NTA for wanting to be healthier and he just wants a doormat or a second mother. He has a terrible attitude,no other way to slice it
I was doing my morning routine, listening to you while getting ready for work, and I felt bummed when nothing was posted. Then I refreshed the page and saw you posted just 24 seconds ago-made my day! Love ya!
Just because the baby's innocent doesn't mean its parents are and there forth the guilty parties don't have any right to be asking OP, the victim, any favors. Even if puts the baby in a bad position, those consequences aren't the baby's, it's the parents and they dragged the poor thing with them. If you can't be a good parent and sleep around with your sister's husband (and vice versa your wife's sister) then it is you putting the child in a bad position.
The number of people or who the people are don't define what is appropriate to wear the restaurant defines it. Different restaurants have different levels of what is appropriate.
Story 1: Anyone who screams 'but innocent person needs shelter' should be introduced to the concepts of orphans, foster kids and shelter animals. If they already know of all those and haven't gone as far as they possibly can to adopt and/or foster every eligible person and animal in the system to provide homes for them, then they need to shush about adults not taking on burdens they are not legally obligated to. Especially since there's resentment between the people involved and there actually is a legally obligated adult in the wings who WANTS to take care of the 'innocent child' involved. It's just not the one the family is trying to side with, so they are selfishly trying to keep the child from having that stability to cater to its other parent's ego.
Yeah, they should take in them,and all others, if they're so entitled with op's time&home. Just absolutely absurd. Op doesn't owe them anything at all..
At 9:56 I nearly did a spit take with my water bottle when you said the “Slay Queen” line. Not sure why but it’s just really funny hearing you voice over some of these stories and how you even crack up sometimes. Keep it up!! 😂
The 4th story, what's with Reddit? She was wearing a freaking dress, sure it was a little short but at least it wasn't see through or having everything showing. As long as the manager of the restaurant didn't make an appearance, meaning talking to OP about what clothing they would rather their customers wear then there is no problem. Why do people feel that they need to police what others wear especially when it was to a surprise event. I suppose OP's MIL and Reddit think OP should have worn a long sleeved dress that shows absolutely no skin except for her face and hands? They sound like the people who accuse rape victims of getting raped because of what they chose to wear. Apparently we are back in the 50s. OP is NTA.
So OP 1's parents want her to take in her husband's mistress and their affair baby. Got it. The unfortunate fact that it's also her sister and nephew does not obligate OP to them. It adds to the betrayal. How anyone can expect OP to house them is insanity.
14:30 - NTA. Your girlfriend is getting greedy. You already paid her for her renovation job. She has no legal equity in the house and sounds sketch AF. You should rethink this relationship. She doesn't even pay to live there. Her "upkeep" of the house is basic house chores in a communal space. Good grief, what a cow.
Story 4: I'm shocked reddit didn't pounce all over the husband and mil for trying to control OP's freedom to dress as she wanted to. I would have told OP's MIL point blank that I would have worn a different dress if I had known the entire family was coming, but that I'll wear what I want to wear, wherever I go (provided the place doesn't have an official dress code.) I would have also told hubby that if he ever wanted to see me in the dress again, not to play fashion police.
story 1 your not the jerk here you’re sister and your ex husband is they cheated on you behind your back and now you’re parents expect you to house your sister and her baby tell her no she made this mess she and your parents can clean it up and if you’re parents are so concerned they can take her in and maybe change your locks just in case they think of moving in while you’re out 😡😡😡🤬🤬
Ouch. You've waited a long time to date. You're happy for the first time in years. I don't think you're late wife would have wanted you to be mired in grief. However, when you said you didn't care if it was disrespectful to your late wife, you really put your foot in it. I know that's likely not really what you meant, but I'm not sure you could have said anything worse. Talk with your daughter. Tell her that her mom will always hold a special place in your heart, nothing will ever change that. This new person isn't taking her mom's place, but creating a place of her own. I think your daughter likely needs grief counseling. I think while you were mired in yours, you weren't' looking out enough for hers. Might tone the lovey dovey down a tiny bit. But she needs to process better. Tell her you still love and respect her mom, but the two of you have different definitions of what respect means this long after her death. You still have love to give, and a heart to receive it, and that's a good thing. For your daughter, she wasn't around in the beginning of the new relationship, so she hasn't been around it long enough for it to not seem really sudden, she's struggling, and not communicating very well about why.
Story 1 NTA: Well if it isn't the consequences of the sister's actions. I hope this teaches her to not get pregnant by married men. Big surprise that the STBX husband doesn't want the cheater sister in his house, and is fighting over the kid. The old adage "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you" But both sister and STBX husband are both major AHs and so are OP's parents. NEVER take in cheaters, especially ones who are family and personally destroyed your marriage. OP cut contact with everyone and leave them to their well deserved crappy fate.
2 - NTA Your BF is an asshole. Your diet is none of his business anyway. He feels insecure and he can get himself his own food! He's just shaming you because he's insecure, and probably mad that you're saving more money than he is. You're not his mom!
I've never understood the stories of spouses expected to just gracefully pine to death after a partner passes. I get that the daughter is grieving and seeing her father move on probably makes her feel alone, but attacking the new relationship isn't the way to go about it. We aren't the same thing for everyone. That's why we have different friends, different bonds with relatives, etc. Her dad acting differently with his gf than he did with his late wife is normal, and actually pretty healthy. If he treated her the same it would be like using her as just a placeholder for a memory. Hopefully OP and his daughter talk it out and find some ways to move forward.
Op is a married grown woman, Mil can keep her judgmental mouth shut. Your husband is wrong, you wore a dress, you are an adult. If the dress was so shocking and not appropriate she would have been kicked out
You can tell those YTA’s have never been on a date or to a nice restaurant lol gee, I wonder why. They have SUCH wonderful sounding personalities *eyeroll*
And I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s worn the dress on dates since she was gifted the dress. Also what’s done is done and the best thing for everyone to have done was zip their lips. If there was a true problem, the restaurant manager would’ve gotten involved.
#1 OP needs to start calling the baby what she is: step daughter/niece. Her parents can hear the full scope of the betrayal she experienced every time her sister is brought up.
I always laugh at the "it's been X years" people, since another standard reply in reddit is "grief doesn't work on a timer". idk, I feel bad about the daughter, adult or not, since the father just expected her to roll with his new relationship. Already having to see his new GF on thanksgiving sounds like a lot. These things should be done carefully and OP sounds as careful as a bear with over mittens rearranging fine china.
@@damiang888I so agree with you! Dad would have flipped his lid if daughter out of the blue mentioned that she moved in with her boyfriend of 6 months when he didn’t know she was even dating anyone. I think it’s the amount of secrecy and giving her time to come to terms that her dad is moving on. If he just explained what was going on in his life as it happened she wouldn’t feel blindsided
Dad was disrespectful to his daughter’s feelings. He should have been open and honest not hiding. He could also be a little less lovy dovy when the daughter is learning to accept this new reality.
Story#4: NTA!! To the stupid people that said she is,, SHE'S A GROWN ASS WOMAN!! She can wear what she wants to wear!! She's not the property of her husband or his family!!
I wish people would stop judging women and telling them what they can and can't wear. Its none of their business. If mommy in law dearest doesn't like the dress then dont look.
Sister baby story, I’d have a single face to face with OP’s parents. Very simply I’d state that your daughter had intimacy with my husband, that lost me my marriage and now you want me to accept that and move her into my house? If you answer yes to that question then not only will she never be in my life ever again but the same goes for you and any other family member who agrees with that scenario. Make sure they understand that will be an absolute final decision with no recourse ever. Then move if necessary and go complete NC! I have been in a situation where I went total NC with one of my in laws when my first child was 3 months old, she never saw that child again or his younger sibling sister and she is now deceased (my son was 31 when she died). Other family members were cut off for years although they only took their mother’s side which I understood. Now she is dead we have contact again.
she did what she didis the narrator said Why can't your parents pay for an apartment you don't owe your sister nothing you don't owe your ex-husband anything you don't owe your parents nothing I wouldn't give any of them the time of day the babies Innocent but that's not your problemlet them figure it outchange your numberI go no contact with all of them!!
Yeah, if a woman moves on after the death of her husband. People say, “go on girl, pursue your man” but since it’s a man, he’s going to be a shame for finding another woman. For god sakes, it’s been five freaking years, Does the daughter except for a father to be single forever? And judging from the context, that Haley woman helped OP throughout a dark place
Not true. Women get pressured often not to move on from their ex husbands. Usually by the husband’s family meanwhile men usually remarry right away because they always need to be taken care of.
Story 3. Moving on is one thing. Surprising your kid (22 she probably still considered it her home, especially if she went to college it might even be her legal address still) with "not only am I dating, but she's living in your childhood home" is what makes op ta and the comments on reddit are very clear about that. Also it's pretty standard to not be all over partners in front of family. I don't sit on my husband's lap at my grandparents for Christmas. That's weird. They can spend a few hours not all over eachother for his daughters sake. Plus he was in a very dark place, how much was he even able to be there for his daughter? The issue isn't moving on. Im very glad hes doing better.cIt's the lack of Empathy for his daughter that's the issue. He handled it all wrong.
Story 4: you can tell those YTA people have never been on a date or to a fancy restaurant before. Hard to imagine, right? With such LOVELY sounding personalities like theirs? How dare OP not wear a potato sack to what she thought was an intimate one-on-one dinner at a fancy restaurant! /s
@ OP dressed up for an intimate, one-on-one dinner with her husband. Those types of outfits then to be more sexually appealing because of hopes of what might come when you get home. ANYONE would be embarrassed if their husband’s family (and notice how it was ONLY the husband’s family, friends, and mutual friends, NONE of OP’s family) saw them in the outfit they planned to seduce your son in.
I’m all for people wearing what they want but there is a limit. If what you wear is embarrassing to wear in front of family then it is embarrassing to wear at a restaurant
@ so, where does it say Op was embarrassed y what she wore and not the fact that she was surprised like that? She was expecting an intimate, one-on-one birthday dinner date with her husband and dressed according to that. Those kinds of outfits tends to be more seductive because of the inherent promise of sex afterwards.
@@ruthsaunders9507 where did she say she was embarrassed because of what she wore? Also, she was expecting a one-on-one, intimate dinner with her husband. People- especially women- tend to dress a little more risqué for that because of the inherent promise of sex afterwards.
Story 3: ESH Daughter needs to accept her dad moving on and see a therapist (maybe go with Dad a few times). OP went too far by saying he doesn't care about being disrespectful to late wife- he technically isn't, but the comment was uncalled for. Hopefully he does not allow Hailey to get rid of late wife's belongings b/c then he'd be a bigger AH Out of courtesy, OP should have told daughter about Hailey before moving her in so she wouldn't feel blindsided.
OP telling the daughter "Hey, I'm dating, and I have a GF, and it's living in my house" makes him the AH in my eyes. If he planned to keep his daughter as part of his life he should had been telling her from the get go.
@ so... you clearly understood that it was a timing issue in your first comment, yet now you're acting like if it was about denying every and all relationships to the father? wtf robert? are you in this situation irl?
There's no timeline for grief, going through a loved ones belongings is a task that you can't make a judgement on until you experience it. If I were the father I'd box it up, move it to storage and give the keys to the daughter but that's because he's moved on, unlike her
@kaziered well, my mom died August 25th 2024.. so what do you know, I happen to have experience in this situation.. I'm also the one that found my mom and did chest compressions until the emt's and the police came.. Like I said.. its been 5 years!
1-NTA Your parents are crap. Tell them to pony up rent and everything else sis needs to stay as well as for a lawyer and then block them. 2-RED FLAG. This relationship is done, RUN! 3-YTA Ever hear of therapy? You need it ASAP and so does your daughter! Wow, just wow! Your daughter is going through grief too and you beat her up? 4-NTA Your MIL is a prude and your husband is an idiot! Last 2 commenters can move in with MIL 5-NTA She has no equity on your house. You need to think about this carefully if you want the relationship to continue and it will require a tough conversation.
So obv story 1 is NTA but that first commenter asking why the parents don’t pay for an apartment sounds like a rich person who doesn’t understand that apartments are expensive. I just thought that was funny. But ofc OP is NTA
If op is working is sister always going to be the person to get up in the middle of the night? Or will she lay in bed and pretend to not wake up. And how do will she be whining about needing to go out and have adult time
S1 just laugh when they call she’s a homewrecker and bad parent for not letting baby stay in safe place . Block the lot parents can step up S2 he wants fat girl that doesn’t feel not healthy good dump him
Dinner story, NAH. It sounds like a funny story! But it'd probably be a better idea to leave that dress for clubbing or more adult parties than more average public avenues. Especially if it's so revealing you can't wear underwear with it. That's a bit much for a low stakes night out.
NTA for moving on, but you are the AH for how you handled it. Given how much you grieved, why would you not consider your daughters grief and have open communication with her about your feelings and hers.
1: YOU should be ashamed of yourself?!!! Your sister slept with your husband. She’s the one who should be ashamed!😠 2: MAJOR RED FLAG! You’re not his chef. He can cook for himself😒 3: You should have eased your girlfriend into your life. Your wife may not have made you feel like you were walking on cloud nine, like the woman you’re now dating, but you still have to take your adult daughter’s feelings into consideration😟 4: Wow! I’m not sure that you should wear that kind of outfit in public. It’s more suited for a dinner at home with your husband😏 5: Yeah, your girlfriend has no equity in your house. She didn’t pay rent, or put any money in the house you’re selling. Think about breaking up with her😒
It seems quite odd that the custody claim would be adversely affected by moving interstate. Surely a family lawyer can submit a statement to the court that mother and child are effectively homeless and the parents can accommodate her. The deadbeat dad sounds like he’s pretty low down in the custody battle after evicting mother and child.
He moved her in after a few WEEKS of dating, gave his daughter no notice and spent the entire time pawing at each other in front of her the first time she’s spending time with them. OP is an AH
Would you have the same opinion if the daughter was pawing with HER new BF in front of OP the first time he met her BF the first time? And who OP lets move in his OWN house is up to him, not up to his daughter who doesn't even live there!
S4 mil and hubby were the arseholes here. He should have steered op to a different dress if he felt it was inappropriate knowing it was a family dress. But also mil should have minded her own business.
I wouldn't trust custody of a child to a man who would evict the mother of his child while she was giving birth, and then instantly try to separate them. With no explanation as to why? As if that would make any difference. 'Proof of residency' or not, that man is sick! I still wouldn't help if my sister did that though. Them pressuring OP is all kinds of wrong.
The birthday story: if you are planning a surprise party you need an accomplice to prevent any issues- imo the dress was not a problem at all, wear what you want. But if other people are going to be there the person throwing the party needs to make sure the recipient is dressed appropriately.
Wait how is moving in someone taking it slow lfmao ? You're allowed to move on but how abt a "Hey I started dating.. Hey now ive met someone. Hey now its serious & she's moving in !" Not "So I am moving in with this woman you've never met. I know the loss of mother was hard, so I've decided to blindside you the bets way I could. She's gonna sleep in your mums bed & your mums things ? Oh well I guess maybe it will be up to the new gal ?" Ofc you can move on, but ofc she's shocked & reacted badly dimwit. ESH.
4: YTA. That type of revealing attire is not appropriate for a public setting, least of all one children attended. An intimate dinner at home that leads to fun times? Perfectly fine. But a nice restaurant? Nope. MIL was right.
Did you not read that it was a SURPRISE party? she thought that this was just going to be a dinner for her and her husband. And this wasn't church, she can wear whatever the hell she wants as long as there is no nudity.
Im really starting to hate baby metal?, if the gender were flipped comments. Be ause there are dozens of stories or reddit where that very much isn't the case. This was an, everyone is the idiot story. Dapper sounds like she never had counseling for her loss which is unfortunately on her now that she is an adult. But saying its fine to disrespect your dead wife / her mother. If OP really thought that was okay to say i do wander if he has been trying to erase his pain rather then move on from it. Sounds like he also needs actual therapy, which is also on him. Honestly I wish there was some sort of recent loss program that pays for two to three sessions for lost spouses, parents, and grandparents. Those are the ones that tend to hit hardest and disrupt peoples lives. OP had his sister to pull him out of the shock so I wander who daughter had if she had anyone.
healthy food story... NAH. Look, OP is on a diet and that is completely fine. But the boyfriend is trying to spend time with her, and he would like to have other some junk food at some occasions -- not every night, but idk once a week?. We all crave for a burguer/pizza/sushi every now and then, and that is fine. But depending on how strong OP is going on her diet, she might want NOT to (which seems to be the case, since she is willing to break up with the BF over this) and that is also okay. They just need to sit down, and talk about their dinner plans while not HANGRY -- because they will get the same results as described in this story.
1st story: It in no way condones the sister's actions, since she is an adult, but considering the way the ex locked her out and is trying for full custody is it possible he groomed her? That he's a control freak who wanted a child not a wife, and he realized it would be easier with OP's sister than OP?
Why do people think teenage girls are this stupid? Every 12 year old knows cheating is wrong and every teenager knows that you don’t F your siblings partner while they are in relationship. Perhaps we should raise the voting age for women to 25 since apparently they don’t have a critical thinking skills so pick one either woman are children until 25 or they are an adult at the age of 18 and understand the meaning of consequences
The reason the dad was told he was the AS is because the way he told his daughter, the fact he hid the relationship until he couldn't anymore. Had nothing to so with gender, ..
Ready to eat meals story: No he's not TESTING YOU BOUNDARIES. He's just asking Op, hey can we have this or that sometimes instead of your new my house my rules way. As a man who loves to cook I too like a greasy burger once in a while. I try to cook healthy but once in a while a taco salad or some good ole fried chicken with chilli and cheese fries are just damn good for the soul. She told him to go to his house if he doesn't like it and he has. Now she's pissed that he did just that. We men can't win either way. That's why most men are staying single these days.
cute if I had a husband who arranged a dinner suprse for 25 people and he supported his moms takethat my dress was inappropriate even tho I diddnt know there would be a crowd--- I have oppositional defiant disorder so from that point on I would always expect 25 people in the bedroom lol he would never get any sx lol My excuse would be that I couldnt trust him not to have us an audience in the closet.
ESH - YTA LIGHTLY in food story. Break up if you plan on living together and alike.I got lucky when I moved in with my wife, she's a good cook and we have enough overlap. This will just build up. Devil's advocate tho: if he was a vegan, would u bend the knee and make vegan meals for both of yous or just meat on ur side? If no, you're a liar youd cave to their veganism and if yes then this isn't an issue. Their junk food would be no different self imposed diet choices like yours in story. NTA in widower story.
I tell ya, Reddit is the closest thing to soap operas that I feel comfortable watching. A hearty thanks to XO.👍
Why the hell do people think the person cheated on has any responsibility in these situations??
Because family. Funny how that doesn't include the person who cheated.
@@muppetsrule1143 Also its probably more convenient for them to shove it on to the sister and much easier to sweep it under the rug
To further punish the victim of cheating for being a victim. The cheaters and their enablers enjoy seeing their victims suffer over and over!
Because the cheater is usually the one who kisses the families butt and pretends to be sweet, innocent and kind while ripping them off or sleeping with other family members partners. Only the black sheep members see through and call them out
Exactly! It’s baffling how people twist the blame on the wrong person.
All morals aside, where is it legal to evict a woman with no notice while she is giving birth? That doesn’t seem like it would help him get custody.
Depends on if she was considered a tenant or not..
She would need a signed lease agreement.. probably doesn't have one
Or
Utility bills with her name on them.. again probably not
Or
A signed rental application.. again probably not..
Or
Bank statements showing rental payments.. probably another strike..
Or
A letter from the land lord confirming tenancy..
Im guessing the sister has none of these..
@@jtmarshall Plus, she abandoned the house when she went to the hospital. Hahaha
In many places if she's been living in his home for a certain period of time, she's a legal resident. (2 weeks or 30 days etc) This is especially true is she's received mail there, or her ID is registered to that address. She wouldn't need much to prove that she has been living there... Any piece of mail would do, probably some photos. The police probably would have made him let her back inside until he properly evicted her, had she called.
@@bluexwings so your saying i can proof tenancy by sending a peice of mail to my neighbors mailbox and having a picture of me sitting on their couch... 😆
Without any of the paperwork I mentioned above she's gonna have a hard time proving that she actually lived there and didn't just sleep there now and again...
Idk how a photo can prove you live there and aren't just a guest
Story 1: Holy GOLDEN CHILD Batman…
“Hey i know your sister slept with your husband and got pregnant but…come on your being awful by not helping her”
NTA Op, not even a little, anyone wana bet that mommy dearest here didn’t say a word to Op’s sister when the affair came out and just expected Op to “get over it”
God Op’s family sucks
Part that gets me is when the husbands leave their wives for the new partner… then realise they don’t actually like the person they’re sleeping with. If they don’t like them then why sleep with them?!
@@mattwho81I can answer that - because when it's an affair it's easy, just spend little time with them focused on the fun stuff of a relationship. Once things get serious and they spend the whole day with them they realise their true colours and think they're better off alone.
and how do you end up sleeping with your siblings spouse without getting to know them? @@mattwho81
Story #1: NTA!! Please update us when your ex shows up at your door wanting you back, Because he will!!
And likely why he wants full custody of the baby. With the baby being related to OP, she can be the true mommy and the affair never happened
@@lorilancaster5917otherwise he might have to change a diaper or something.
Right? It’s almost guaranteed they’ll show up again. Stay strong!
Yeah if OP is renting, now's a real good time to secretly find a new place and don't tell anyone. Remain NC, use only a burner phone or voice over IP if OP really needs to contact the parents. God, nothing but an orbit of losers around OP.
Story 2: Tell him to feed himself. If he wants to take turns choosing the food, then he could have brought that up instead of insulting her choices. Instead he acts like a brat who didn't get his chicken nuggets
Thank you. He’s not deprived of these foods and can easily get them himself. It’s him trying to control OP which I hope she reads these comments and see that she’s better off without him.
Spot on! If he’s that picky, he can step up and do the work himself
Agree and I can’t tell if he is just entitled or if he was gaslighting her either way he is an AH and I can’t understand why Op is staying with him
Tell your parents that your sister is lucky you aren't suing her for breaking up your marriage.
Hearing XO say "Yaass Queen" is wild!
Food cost money. Why did OP's boyfriend expect to get free meals? After she started eating the foods she liked, the boyfriend stopped coming over. Good riddance.
Story 1; Not the idiot. I'd block all of them.
And threaten to call the police if sister shows up uninvited to OPs place
100%! Blocking them is the best move here.
4:54 He's complaining about nothing because he's bored
OP is NTA for wanting to be healthier and he just wants a doormat or a second mother. He has a terrible attitude,no other way to slice it
Story #2: NTA!! If you want to see a clown, go to McDonald's!!
Yeah the bf still thinks he’s a teen.
I was doing my morning routine, listening to you while getting ready for work, and I felt bummed when nothing was posted. Then I refreshed the page and saw you posted just 24 seconds ago-made my day! Love ya!
Drive safe!
your sister really crossed the line with your husband-can’t believe she thought you’d help her after that betrayal!
NTA. Sister was 18 not 8, so no grooming involved. Sis made big girl decisions, she can handle big girl consequences.
She was 24 when it was discovered.
Grooming can happen at any age; not just adults to "legally children".
Most young adults know it is wrong to have an affair with their sibling's spouse.
Just because the baby's innocent doesn't mean its parents are and there forth the guilty parties don't have any right to be asking OP, the victim, any favors. Even if puts the baby in a bad position, those consequences aren't the baby's, it's the parents and they dragged the poor thing with them. If you can't be a good parent and sleep around with your sister's husband (and vice versa your wife's sister) then it is you putting the child in a bad position.
Agree there are plenty of innocent children in this world but none of Op family isn’t helping any of them
The number of people or who the people are don't define what is appropriate to wear the restaurant defines it. Different restaurants have different levels of what is appropriate.
The birthday story. So the husband invited HIS family to her birthday and calls it a surprise? Well they all were surprised alright
Story 1: Anyone who screams 'but innocent person needs shelter' should be introduced to the concepts of orphans, foster kids and shelter animals. If they already know of all those and haven't gone as far as they possibly can to adopt and/or foster every eligible person and animal in the system to provide homes for them, then they need to shush about adults not taking on burdens they are not legally obligated to.
Especially since there's resentment between the people involved and there actually is a legally obligated adult in the wings who WANTS to take care of the 'innocent child' involved. It's just not the one the family is trying to side with, so they are selfishly trying to keep the child from having that stability to cater to its other parent's ego.
Yeah, they should take in them,and all others, if they're so entitled with op's time&home. Just absolutely absurd. Op doesn't owe them anything at all..
At 9:56 I nearly did a spit take with my water bottle when you said the “Slay Queen” line. Not sure why but it’s just really funny hearing you voice over some of these stories and how you even crack up sometimes. Keep it up!! 😂
The 4th story, what's with Reddit? She was wearing a freaking dress, sure it was a little short but at least it wasn't see through or having everything showing. As long as the manager of the restaurant didn't make an appearance, meaning talking to OP about what clothing they would rather their customers wear then there is no problem. Why do people feel that they need to police what others wear especially when it was to a surprise event. I suppose OP's MIL and Reddit think OP should have worn a long sleeved dress that shows absolutely no skin except for her face and hands? They sound like the people who accuse rape victims of getting raped because of what they chose to wear. Apparently we are back in the 50s. OP is NTA.
So OP 1's parents want her to take in her husband's mistress and their affair baby. Got it.
The unfortunate fact that it's also her sister and nephew does not obligate OP to them. It adds to the betrayal. How anyone can expect OP to house them is insanity.
Story 2 Sounds like the boyfriend was only with OP for dinner and the convenience.
14:30 - NTA. Your girlfriend is getting greedy. You already paid her for her renovation job. She has no legal equity in the house and sounds sketch AF. You should rethink this relationship. She doesn't even pay to live there. Her "upkeep" of the house is basic house chores in a communal space. Good grief, what a cow.
Story 4: I'm shocked reddit didn't pounce all over the husband and mil for trying to control OP's freedom to dress as she wanted to. I would have told OP's MIL point blank that I would have worn a different dress if I had known the entire family was coming, but that I'll wear what I want to wear, wherever I go (provided the place doesn't have an official dress code.) I would have also told hubby that if he ever wanted to see me in the dress again, not to play fashion police.
Damn. Now I want a burger.
story 1 your not the jerk here you’re sister and your ex husband is they cheated on you behind your back and now you’re parents expect you to house your sister and her baby tell her no she made this mess she and your parents can clean it up and if you’re parents are so concerned they can take her in and maybe change your locks just in case they think of moving in while you’re out 😡😡😡🤬🤬
Maybe was wrong to be overly affectionate in front of daughter but she needs to let you move on.
hailey story, NTA, adult offspring cannot dictate their parents happiness.
So why aren't your parents sending sister money, if they feel the whole family helps family thing
Ouch. You've waited a long time to date. You're happy for the first time in years. I don't think you're late wife would have wanted you to be mired in grief. However, when you said you didn't care if it was disrespectful to your late wife, you really put your foot in it. I know that's likely not really what you meant, but I'm not sure you could have said anything worse. Talk with your daughter. Tell her that her mom will always hold a special place in your heart, nothing will ever change that. This new person isn't taking her mom's place, but creating a place of her own. I think your daughter likely needs grief counseling. I think while you were mired in yours, you weren't' looking out enough for hers. Might tone the lovey dovey down a tiny bit. But she needs to process better. Tell her you still love and respect her mom, but the two of you have different definitions of what respect means this long after her death. You still have love to give, and a heart to receive it, and that's a good thing. For your daughter, she wasn't around in the beginning of the new relationship, so she hasn't been around it long enough for it to not seem really sudden, she's struggling, and not communicating very well about why.
Story 1 NTA: Well if it isn't the consequences of the sister's actions. I hope this teaches her to not get pregnant by married men.
Big surprise that the STBX husband doesn't want the cheater sister in his house, and is fighting over the kid. The old adage "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you"
But both sister and STBX husband are both major AHs and so are OP's parents. NEVER take in cheaters, especially ones who are family and personally destroyed your marriage.
OP cut contact with everyone and leave them to their well deserved crappy fate.
Wear what makes you happy. You're an adult.
S1- op should block the lot of them.
Agree none of them are good for her
2 - NTA Your BF is an asshole. Your diet is none of his business anyway. He feels insecure and he can get himself his own food! He's just shaming you because he's insecure, and probably mad that you're saving more money than he is. You're not his mom!
You can tell which relationship that's not strong from the beginning
I loathe surprise parties!!! Op is not to blame as he lied to her. MIL is an interfering busybody.
I've never understood the stories of spouses expected to just gracefully pine to death after a partner passes. I get that the daughter is grieving and seeing her father move on probably makes her feel alone, but attacking the new relationship isn't the way to go about it.
We aren't the same thing for everyone. That's why we have different friends, different bonds with relatives, etc. Her dad acting differently with his gf than he did with his late wife is normal, and actually pretty healthy. If he treated her the same it would be like using her as just a placeholder for a memory. Hopefully OP and his daughter talk it out and find some ways to move forward.
If the resturant had a problem
With it they would have told you at the door. Keep it in your rotation
Op is a married grown woman, Mil can keep her judgmental mouth shut. Your husband is wrong, you wore a dress, you are an adult. If the dress was so shocking and not appropriate she would have been kicked out
You can tell those YTA’s have never been on a date or to a nice restaurant lol gee, I wonder why. They have SUCH wonderful sounding personalities *eyeroll*
And I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s worn the dress on dates since she was gifted the dress. Also what’s done is done and the best thing for everyone to have done was zip their lips. If there was a true problem, the restaurant manager would’ve gotten involved.
@ I would have told my mil that the best present she could give me for my next birthday was to stay home.
also I would've told the husband "Since you agree with mommy so much, I'll never wear the dress again and just wear sweat pants"
Little kids invited to an older woman's surprise birthday dinner... Why?
#1 OP needs to start calling the baby what she is: step daughter/niece. Her parents can hear the full scope of the betrayal she experienced every time her sister is brought up.
Story 3: NTA. It’s been five years, and his daughter has been an adult for four of them!
The level of projection in the comments is out of this world.
I always laugh at the "it's been X years" people, since another standard reply in reddit is "grief doesn't work on a timer".
idk, I feel bad about the daughter, adult or not, since the father just expected her to roll with his new relationship. Already having to see his new GF on thanksgiving sounds like a lot. These things should be done carefully and OP sounds as careful as a bear with over mittens rearranging fine china.
@@damiang888I so agree with you! Dad would have flipped his lid if daughter out of the blue mentioned that she moved in with her boyfriend of 6 months when he didn’t know she was even dating anyone. I think it’s the amount of secrecy and giving her time to come to terms that her dad is moving on. If he just explained what was going on in his life as it happened she wouldn’t feel blindsided
Dad was disrespectful to his daughter’s feelings. He should have been open and honest not hiding. He could also be a little less lovy dovy when the daughter is learning to accept this new reality.
@@dlc563She's had five years to grieve and accept that Daddy will likely date again. She can buzz right off.
Story#4: NTA!! To the stupid people that said she is,, SHE'S A GROWN ASS WOMAN!! She can wear what she wants to wear!! She's not the property of her husband or his family!!
I wish people would stop judging women and telling them what they can and can't wear. Its none of their business. If mommy in law dearest doesn't like the dress then dont look.
Typical American prudishness.
Story 1 there are 8 billion people on this earth and Op is at the bottom of the list of people that should help her sister
How is something split historically?
Last story does that mean anyone that I have paid to do work on my house and the people that built it actually have equity unit now 😂😂😂😂😂
Story 1. Holy cow NTA. block all of them
Sister baby story, I’d have a single face to face with OP’s parents. Very simply I’d state that your daughter had intimacy with my husband, that lost me my marriage and now you want me to accept that and move her into my house? If you answer yes to that question then not only will she never be in my life ever again but the same goes for you and any other family member who agrees with that scenario.
Make sure they understand that will be an absolute final decision with no recourse ever. Then move if necessary and go complete NC!
I have been in a situation where I went total NC with one of my in laws when my first child was 3 months old, she never saw that child again or his younger sibling sister and she is now deceased (my son was 31 when she died). Other family members were cut off for years although they only took their mother’s side which I understood. Now she is dead we have contact again.
Xo saying Yaaas queen and slay was not on my 2025 bingo card
S5 i felt like I had a stroke listening to this one. That gf sounds entitled af
To be fair it honestly sounds like the sister did OP a favor considering how the husband acts.
she did what she didis the narrator said Why can't your parents pay for an apartment you don't owe your sister nothing you don't owe your ex-husband anything you don't owe your parents nothing I wouldn't give any of them the time of day the babies Innocent but that's not your problemlet them figure it outchange your numberI go no contact with all of them!!
Yeah, if a woman moves on after the death of her husband. People say, “go on girl, pursue your man” but since it’s a man, he’s going to be a shame for finding another woman. For god sakes, it’s been five freaking years, Does the daughter except for a father to be single forever? And judging from the context, that Haley woman helped OP throughout a dark place
Personally I think both men and women moving on is crap.
Not true. Women get pressured often not to move on from their ex husbands. Usually by the husband’s family meanwhile men usually remarry right away because they always need to be taken care of.
Story 3. Moving on is one thing.
Surprising your kid (22 she probably still considered it her home, especially if she went to college it might even be her legal address still) with "not only am I dating, but she's living in your childhood home" is what makes op ta and the comments on reddit are very clear about that.
Also it's pretty standard to not be all over partners in front of family. I don't sit on my husband's lap at my grandparents for Christmas. That's weird. They can spend a few hours not all over eachother for his daughters sake.
Plus he was in a very dark place, how much was he even able to be there for his daughter?
The issue isn't moving on. Im very glad hes doing better.cIt's the lack of Empathy for his daughter that's the issue. He handled it all wrong.
Story 4: you can tell those YTA people have never been on a date or to a fancy restaurant before. Hard to imagine, right? With such LOVELY sounding personalities like theirs? How dare OP not wear a potato sack to what she thought was an intimate one-on-one dinner at a fancy restaurant! /s
Op was embarrassed when she saw his family there. That says enough.
@ OP dressed up for an intimate, one-on-one dinner with her husband. Those types of outfits then to be more sexually appealing because of hopes of what might come when you get home. ANYONE would be embarrassed if their husband’s family (and notice how it was ONLY the husband’s family, friends, and mutual friends, NONE of OP’s family) saw them in the outfit they planned to seduce your son in.
I’m all for people wearing what they want but there is a limit. If what you wear is embarrassing to wear in front of family then it is embarrassing to wear at a restaurant
@ so, where does it say Op was embarrassed y what she wore and not the fact that she was surprised like that? She was expecting an intimate, one-on-one birthday dinner date with her husband and dressed according to that. Those kinds of outfits tends to be more seductive because of the inherent promise of sex afterwards.
@@ruthsaunders9507 where did she say she was embarrassed because of what she wore? Also, she was expecting a one-on-one, intimate dinner with her husband. People- especially women- tend to dress a little more risqué for that because of the inherent promise of sex afterwards.
Oooh 26 minutes ago! Almost was on time!
Story 3: ESH Daughter needs to accept her dad moving on and see a therapist (maybe go with Dad a few times). OP went too far by saying he doesn't care about being disrespectful to late wife- he technically isn't, but the comment was uncalled for. Hopefully he does not allow Hailey to get rid of late wife's belongings b/c then he'd be a bigger AH
Out of courtesy, OP should have told daughter about Hailey before moving her in so she wouldn't feel blindsided.
OP telling the daughter "Hey, I'm dating, and I have a GF, and it's living in my house" makes him the AH in my eyes. If he planned to keep his daughter as part of his life he should had been telling her from the get go.
@@damiang888 Does that mean that his daughter has to tell OP the moment she has a new BF?
Or is it just a one way street? /s
@@robertx8020is dad grieving the loss of his son in law that he had a great relationship with? if so, yes
@ soo he should stay single ..got it ...howe dare he moving on /s
@ so... you clearly understood that it was a timing issue in your first comment, yet now you're acting like if it was about denying every and all relationships to the father? wtf robert? are you in this situation irl?
His wife died 5 years ago.. the daughter has had PLENTY of time to go through her moms belongings...
Dude her mom died it's not like she had to run to grab her stuff before they evicted her from an apartment or something.
@@damiang888I wouldn't want to hold onto my late spouse's stuff for five freaking YEARS. Maybe you like hoarding, but most of us don't.
There's no timeline for grief, going through a loved ones belongings is a task that you can't make a judgement on until you experience it. If I were the father I'd box it up, move it to storage and give the keys to the daughter but that's because he's moved on, unlike her
@kaziered well, my mom died August 25th 2024..
so what do you know, I happen to have experience in this situation..
I'm also the one that found my mom and did chest compressions until the emt's and the police came..
Like I said.. its been 5 years!
@@jtmarshall yeah because every person is the same! pull yourself by the bootstraps! everyone thinks like you! stop being sad!
1-NTA Your parents are crap. Tell them to pony up rent and everything else sis needs to stay as well as for a lawyer and then block them. 2-RED FLAG. This relationship is done, RUN! 3-YTA Ever hear of therapy? You need it ASAP and so does your daughter! Wow, just wow! Your daughter is going through grief too and you beat her up? 4-NTA Your MIL is a prude and your husband is an idiot! Last 2 commenters can move in with MIL 5-NTA She has no equity on your house. You need to think about this carefully if you want the relationship to continue and it will require a tough conversation.
So obv story 1 is NTA but that first commenter asking why the parents don’t pay for an apartment sounds like a rich person who doesn’t understand that apartments are expensive. I just thought that was funny. But ofc OP is NTA
That commenter point still stands why aren’t Op helping if they care so much about Op sister
S3, op is allowed to love again, its not like he's seeking a replacement mother for his daughters, they're adults.
Agree and what he said was in the heat of the moment
If op is working is sister always going to be the person to get up in the middle of the night? Or will she lay in bed and pretend to not wake up. And how do will she be whining about needing to go out and have adult time
S1 just laugh when they call she’s a homewrecker and bad parent for not letting baby stay in safe place . Block the lot parents can step up
S2 he wants fat girl that doesn’t feel not healthy good dump him
He shows affection he never showed her mother to this woman. Move on, sure, but why do that in her face?
Dinner story, NAH. It sounds like a funny story! But it'd probably be a better idea to leave that dress for clubbing or more adult parties than more average public avenues. Especially if it's so revealing you can't wear underwear with it. That's a bit much for a low stakes night out.
Story 4 if it dosent brake the dresscode u good
❤❤❤
NTA for moving on, but you are the AH for how you handled it. Given how much you grieved, why would you not consider your daughters grief and have open communication with her about your feelings and hers.
who else wants a cheeseburger bowl?
1: YOU should be ashamed of yourself?!!! Your sister slept with your husband. She’s the one who should be ashamed!😠
2: MAJOR RED FLAG! You’re not his chef. He can cook for himself😒
3: You should have eased your girlfriend into your life. Your wife may not have made you feel like you were walking on cloud nine, like the woman you’re now dating, but you still have to take your adult daughter’s feelings into consideration😟
4: Wow! I’m not sure that you should wear that kind of outfit in public. It’s more suited for a dinner at home with your husband😏
5: Yeah, your girlfriend has no equity in your house. She didn’t pay rent, or put any money in the house you’re selling. Think about breaking up with her😒
It seems quite odd that the custody claim would be adversely affected by moving interstate. Surely a family lawyer can submit a statement to the court that mother and child are effectively homeless and the parents can accommodate her. The deadbeat dad sounds like he’s pretty low down in the custody battle after evicting mother and child.
He's not being a deadbeat, he's going through the system. Sounds like sister thought the baby would be her meal ticket.
He moved her in after a few WEEKS of dating, gave his daughter no notice and spent the entire time pawing at each other in front of her the first time she’s spending time with them. OP is an AH
Would you have the same opinion if the daughter was pawing with HER new BF in front of OP the first time he met her BF the first time?
And who OP lets move in his OWN house is up to him, not up to his daughter who doesn't even live there!
Name
What is up with all the dinosaurs in mean I love it but like what's up with that?
9:37 This commentator sounds like an incel who's only ever seen women filtered through memes.
1:45
S4 mil and hubby were the arseholes here. He should have steered op to a different dress if he felt it was inappropriate knowing it was a family dress. But also mil should have minded her own business.
He didn't know she was going to wear it. That's why surprise parties suck. They always lead to some issue or another.
Bf is a user and wants to drag op down.
8:53 - This point is right. You can date again, but don't be a dick about it.
I wouldn't trust custody of a child to a man who would evict the mother of his child while she was giving birth, and then instantly try to separate them. With no explanation as to why? As if that would make any difference. 'Proof of residency' or not, that man is sick!
I still wouldn't help if my sister did that though. Them pressuring OP is all kinds of wrong.
The birthday story: if you are planning a surprise party you need an accomplice to prevent any issues- imo the dress was not a problem at all, wear what you want. But if other people are going to be there the person throwing the party needs to make sure the recipient is dressed appropriately.
Wait how is moving in someone taking it slow lfmao ? You're allowed to move on but how abt a "Hey I started dating.. Hey now ive met someone. Hey now its serious & she's moving in !"
Not "So I am moving in with this woman you've never met. I know the loss of mother was hard, so I've decided to blindside you the bets way I could. She's gonna sleep in your mums bed & your mums things ? Oh well I guess maybe it will be up to the new gal ?"
Ofc you can move on, but ofc she's shocked & reacted badly dimwit. ESH.
4: YTA. That type of revealing attire is not appropriate for a public setting, least of all one children attended. An intimate dinner at home that leads to fun times? Perfectly fine. But a nice restaurant? Nope. MIL was right.
Did you not read that it was a SURPRISE party? she thought that this was just going to be a dinner for her and her husband. And this wasn't church, she can wear whatever the hell she wants as long as there is no nudity.
Ok, seriously.... why are so many parents this toxic? This is actually crazy... (first story)
Im really starting to hate baby metal?, if the gender were flipped comments. Be ause there are dozens of stories or reddit where that very much isn't the case.
This was an, everyone is the idiot story. Dapper sounds like she never had counseling for her loss which is unfortunately on her now that she is an adult. But saying its fine to disrespect your dead wife / her mother. If OP really thought that was okay to say i do wander if he has been trying to erase his pain rather then move on from it. Sounds like he also needs actual therapy, which is also on him. Honestly I wish there was some sort of recent loss program that pays for two to three sessions for lost spouses, parents, and grandparents. Those are the ones that tend to hit hardest and disrupt peoples lives.
OP had his sister to pull him out of the shock so I wander who daughter had if she had anyone.
healthy food story... NAH. Look, OP is on a diet and that is completely fine. But the boyfriend is trying to spend time with her, and he would like to have other some junk food at some occasions -- not every night, but idk once a week?. We all crave for a burguer/pizza/sushi every now and then, and that is fine. But depending on how strong OP is going on her diet, she might want NOT to (which seems to be the case, since she is willing to break up with the BF over this) and that is also okay.
They just need to sit down, and talk about their dinner plans while not HANGRY -- because they will get the same results as described in this story.
1st story: It in no way condones the sister's actions, since she is an adult, but considering the way the ex locked her out and is trying for full custody is it possible he groomed her? That he's a control freak who wanted a child not a wife, and he realized it would be easier with OP's sister than OP?
Groomed an adult?
Why do people think teenage girls are this stupid? Every 12 year old knows cheating is wrong and every teenager knows that you don’t F your siblings partner while they are in relationship.
Perhaps we should raise the voting age for women to 25 since apparently they don’t have a critical thinking skills so pick one either woman are children until 25 or they are an adult at the age of 18 and understand the meaning of consequences
Story 2: NTA
Story 3: NTA and the the mil is a pathetic grouch
Story 3 yta u blind sided her and r now acting more loving then with ber mom obviously shes going to think u can just replace her on a dime
The reason the dad was told he was the AS is because the way he told his daughter, the fact he hid the relationship until he couldn't anymore. Had nothing to so with gender, ..
Story 1: NTA in my opinion at all .
Ready to eat meals story: No he's not TESTING YOU BOUNDARIES. He's just asking Op, hey can we have this or that sometimes instead of your new my house my rules way. As a man who loves to cook I too like a greasy burger once in a while. I try to cook healthy but once in a while a taco salad or some good ole fried chicken with chilli and cheese fries are just damn good for the soul. She told him to go to his house if he doesn't like it and he has. Now she's pissed that he did just that. We men can't win either way. That's why most men are staying single these days.
cute if I had a husband who arranged a dinner suprse for 25 people and he supported his moms takethat my dress was inappropriate even tho I diddnt know there would be a crowd--- I have oppositional defiant disorder so from that point on I would always expect 25 people in the bedroom lol he would never get any sx lol My excuse would be that I couldnt trust him not to have us an audience in the closet.
ESH - YTA LIGHTLY in food story. Break up if you plan on living together and alike.I got lucky when I moved in with my wife, she's a good cook and we have enough overlap. This will just build up. Devil's advocate tho: if he was a vegan, would u bend the knee and make vegan meals for both of yous or just meat on ur side? If no, you're a liar youd cave to their veganism and if yes then this isn't an issue. Their junk food would be no different self imposed diet choices like yours in story.
NTA in widower story.