The biggest surprise to us after a recent death. Was how all the parts not just dealt with different but were also at different stages. And when a dormant part fronted, like nearly a year later. It was the first they heard about it. We experienced that initial shock period all over again.
Something that saddens me about my dissociation is that I often fail to "recognize" people from my past, especially my childhood. I know who they are to me, I might even have memories of them, but emotionally it's as if those memories happened to someone else. It made it complicated when I lost my grandfather, who I was close to as a child. I was there with him during his last days but I couldn't feel a thing. I felt more like one of the care workers comforting the family. I know now that not feeling grief or being very dissociated during a stressful event says nothing about how important he was to me, but it took literal months after the death for any part of me to recognize the loss and grieve.
[As a protector of our system:] I have definitely been noticing this with a recent, really sudden and confusing break-up. For the last three weeks we've been switching between different alters many times a day to try to regulate, so that when one part starts getting deep in anxiety, we switch to someone who can handle it a bit better in the moment. Rinse and repeat, again and again and again. It's so chaotic. There are two (!) new alters that have formed to help manage the situation, everyone's in a different stage of grieving, and I don't even know how some parts are doing. There's one that came to the surface for the first time in like, I don't know, perhaps even ten years?, bringing just the feeling of pure despair and defeat with them, and one regular has been in so much distress that him fronting is like a jumpscare every single time. (Writing this, I'm realising I need to start thinking about how to help him next.) We also almost lost one alter. Luckily though that one has apparently managed to integrate with another alter - one that has then been growing and developing incredibly fast. It's like he's grown three years in three weeks - which is something I'm honestly really glad about. I'm so proud of him. So... yeah. This has not been very fun.
I remember when my 8 year old part found out that my grandparents had died. It was as if my eyes were waterfalls. It was painful and beautiful all at once 🥲
Our littles found out yesterday that our favourite grandma died, three years ago, i was surprised just now this morning how much they still had to cry about it. they're still crying a little. I asked what they wanted to do to help feel the emotions and they said they wanted to make a letter to send to her. We decided and told them that we'll post it to ourselves so that it feels like we sent it to her and we won't lose those cards
@kittyvlekkie Hi Robin and thank you for sharing. Your idea is creative, kind and sounds like it will be helpful in your whole system's grieving process. I love how you asked them what they needed...beautiful! I'm sorry for your loss. 💜
Thank you. It hits hard. Today is one month from when I got terminated my therapists office. No closure and no contact with my therapist. Terminated bc of going and getting the necessary help in an inpatient facility. The different levels of grief the different moments it hits....it's just awful. And now we are alone with no t. The system is broken. :(
I've also heard a lot of stories about systems greiving Parts that have integrated. I dont know if id miss anyone else in my system but others probably would. For me,thats the confusing part of greif in a system.
Realized I the connection to my mom was damaged badly (if existed). Probably large part of not comfortable state of being. Still searching for I guess ……
Hi and thanks for being here! What a compliment, thank you. I am taking new patients, but I am only licensed to practice in New York State. I do consulting as well. You can connect with me through my website: www.colleenjohnstoncounseling.net/
![[DOKKAN BATTLE] Worldwide Campaign Announcement Video Part 2!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/JpT5Voak6WA/mqdefault.jpg)
![BAK Jay - Find Out (For Your Love) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/10FJO_XBCvY/mqdefault.jpg)
The biggest surprise to us after a recent death. Was how all the parts not just dealt with different but were also at different stages. And when a dormant part fronted, like nearly a year later. It was the first they heard about it. We experienced that initial shock period all over again.
Oh my goodness, how hard that must have been! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Something that saddens me about my dissociation is that I often fail to "recognize" people from my past, especially my childhood. I know who they are to me, I might even have memories of them, but emotionally it's as if those memories happened to someone else.
It made it complicated when I lost my grandfather, who I was close to as a child. I was there with him during his last days but I couldn't feel a thing. I felt more like one of the care workers comforting the family.
I know now that not feeling grief or being very dissociated during a stressful event says nothing about how important he was to me, but it took literal months after the death for any part of me to recognize the loss and grieve.
Literally dealing with this now. Lost the dog and then a parent in under two weeks
That is so much loss...hope you're being very gentle with yourself. Please accept my sympathy 💜
@@colleenjohnston1678 Thank you 💙
Us too. My heart goes to you all
[As a protector of our system:]
I have definitely been noticing this with a recent, really sudden and confusing break-up. For the last three weeks we've been switching between different alters many times a day to try to regulate, so that when one part starts getting deep in anxiety, we switch to someone who can handle it a bit better in the moment. Rinse and repeat, again and again and again.
It's so chaotic. There are two (!) new alters that have formed to help manage the situation, everyone's in a different stage of grieving, and I don't even know how some parts are doing. There's one that came to the surface for the first time in like, I don't know, perhaps even ten years?, bringing just the feeling of pure despair and defeat with them, and one regular has been in so much distress that him fronting is like a jumpscare every single time. (Writing this, I'm realising I need to start thinking about how to help him next.)
We also almost lost one alter. Luckily though that one has apparently managed to integrate with another alter - one that has then been growing and developing incredibly fast. It's like he's grown three years in three weeks - which is something I'm honestly really glad about. I'm so proud of him.
So... yeah. This has not been very fun.
Hi, I have a playlist with over 100 vids about DID. I hope you don't mind that I have added a few of yours. Thanks for all that you do!
I'm honored!! 🥰
I remember when my 8 year old part found out that my grandparents had died.
It was as if my eyes were waterfalls. It was painful and beautiful all at once 🥲
Our littles found out yesterday that our favourite grandma died, three years ago, i was surprised just now this morning how much they still had to cry about it. they're still crying a little. I asked what they wanted to do to help feel the emotions and they said they wanted to make a letter to send to her. We decided and told them that we'll post it to ourselves so that it feels like we sent it to her and we won't lose those cards
@kittyvlekkie Hi Robin and thank you for sharing. Your idea is creative, kind and sounds like it will be helpful in your whole system's grieving process. I love how you asked them what they needed...beautiful! I'm sorry for your loss. 💜
Thank you. It hits hard. Today is one month from when I got terminated my therapists office. No closure and no contact with my therapist. Terminated bc of going and getting the necessary help in an inpatient facility. The different levels of grief the different moments it hits....it's just awful. And now we are alone with no t. The system is broken. :(
Most therapists are unskilled and do more harm than good for people with severe trauma.
I've also heard a lot of stories about systems greiving Parts that have integrated. I dont know if id miss anyone else in my system but others probably would. For me,thats the confusing part of greif in a system.
I like your green lights.
This hits hard and make a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing this. Makes me understand myself a lot more and will help others too!
Thanks Melissa!! So glad my videos help...
Beautiful. Seems you speak from experience. 🙏. knowing the many is something to be joyful about.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, !!! This is great 👍 I have never consider this aspect and it makes sense, this is going to help me a lot!!!!
Yay! I'm so happy to hear this!
My mom died a couple years ago. No grief- only relief for her. I knew she was in pain.
Realized I the connection to my mom was damaged badly (if existed). Probably large part of not comfortable state of being. Still searching for I guess ……
Yes. Major delayed grief and snowball. 😢
Hi Colleen, are you taking new clients? How can I reach you? Thank you 😊
Hi and thanks for being here! What a compliment, thank you. I am taking new patients, but I am only licensed to practice in New York State. I do consulting as well. You can connect with me through my website: www.colleenjohnstoncounseling.net/
@@colleenjohnston1678 Thank you