Dan, I’m reminded of something that my Irish grandmother used to say whenever she spotted me heading toward the rabbit hole of self-pity as a young teenaged girl filled with angst . . . “Two convicts looked out from behind prison bars. One saw mud. The other saw STARS.” Those three little sentences have been my personal lodestar by which I’ve navigated my way through often turbulent waters. I just turned 70 on September 23rd of this year. Who knows what the future holds for this senior citizen ? I certainly don’t . . . nor do I spend a nanosecond fretting about it. My strength and serenity come from within. Nothing can touch that. Thank you for taking the time to share such a powerful message. Sending my very warmest wishes to you and yours . . . !
As a person with a disability, I 1000% resonate with this. I'm in my late 30's now, but my childhood was never one filled with pity or sorrow for what I can't do. Instead I was raised to figure out how I could do things rather than what I can't. A saying that I live by is that the world doesn't need to adapt to me (or anyone with a disability) but rather I need to adapt to the world. When I meet people and they start to lay on the pity, I put a kibosh on it and start showing them what I can do.
Our family had a full, joyful life with my granddaughter. She was a part of everything we did. We had parties and went places, took trips she was always there. However, I did not realize until after she passed, she had become the hub of our life. After her passing we had to learn how to put our life back together again. I thought I was going to be one of the offended ones but I wasn't. I agree with you. Live life to the fullest with all your family members. It's important.
Im still here 4 years from finding your channel and i just love it always will. Ive never felt sorry for u guys only how inspiring you are and how blessed you are with both your children and what great parents you are
I’m so glad you made this video. If you don’t mind if I share this with others. I’m a quadriplegic also with a visual impairment. I try to tell people this all the time that I do not want sympathy. I want to live as normal as a normal person as I can. People do not understand how I can be happy and be positive with a daily basis. I really appreciate this vlog so much you just don’t realize how much this is needed. Keep up the great work and have a great holiday season.
You are truly a beautiful man and your family is beautiful!! You amaze me! You all give Hudsyn her very best life. She is happy, loved and so intensely well cared for. I am so proud of you all!!
As a person with a disability i 1'025% resonate with you Dan i was raised by my aunt and uncle and they always strived to tell me to be independent and figure things out for myself and i don't think of myself as a disabled i consider myself that has abilities i was always taught to push through it and be yourself
❤ Honesty been watching your vlogs for years. I love all the content. I see you as a dad running a household. I am a mom running my household. It's simple and relatable content. Can't wait to see your Christmas decorations!
As someone who has speial needs. I have found it hard at time to define an identity outside of my diagnosis. It has shaped how I do things in a lot of way. But I have done a lot of work on finding myself. I am an artist and an animal lover. I can use the differences caused by my diagnosis to bring a new idea or view to a situation. I can connect with people in a different way.
I’ve watched your channel from nearly its inception, and never commented ‘til now…Wow! You nailed it, in a kind manner-a topic I’ve frequently thought about, but never voiced. Great validating words. Merriest of Christmases to you and your amazing family~ 💕🎄💕
Wow. A subject that very much needed to be brought up. Anyone who rebutts with offense already entered the building on the defensive. I hear ya, Dan. I've seen exactly what you're talking about, too. Not just here...in other channels and with families I personally know that care for special needs children or family members that require 24/7 care because of medically necessary attention. But, you know, this can be said of ANYTHING people struggle with, are born with, are in a place they observe it everyday or have been put in a position of caregiving because they're fulfilling a need no one else will step up to. Victimhood is a mindset you choose to believe is your title or destiny. Sometimes it's knowingly used but I seriously feel it's a gradual process that turns into an armor worn preparing for battle on an unexisting war. It starts small as a reason why, having rationale behind it or it's an understanding because of the questions you inevitably get. You feel like it's necessary you HAVE TO have an answer for the repetitive. Somewhere along the line, the answer becomes your armor chosen to put on and wear even though it's heavy and exhausting carrying the weight but you "need it" because you really believe it's what you need to face the day, the world. *You become your situation instead of the advocate*. I know because ADDICTION works the same way - whether you're recovering or struggling with it. Dan, this is deep. It goes beyond and branches out into so many areas. Wbat a great topic to bring up for consideration and debate. You mentioned, because it's in your comment section in every video, that we're STILL going to see responses that are exactly why you had this sit down. And you know what? That's ok because I think it's sometimes a deep psychological matter that they need to survive mentally for themselves. Without delving into deeper beliefs or reasons, I want to say that, simply put....be kind. It's easy and can start to change so much. Be the person you want others to be with you. Dan, your real supporters understand you, don't watch to judge and we know the whole story. We ❤ you all and hear your heart, not just your words. Thumbs up 👍🏻.
Well said! Thank you! I also forgot to say in this video that one of the reasons I started this channel was so I didn't have to answer the repetitive questions about Hudsyn. I could just point people to this channel and they could see for themselves. 😉❤️
I am special-needs myself and I'm absolutely loving your video! I don't want people to feel sorry for me or my situation, it's not their fault. If anything it's natures LOL! But I hundred percent know where you are coming from
Followed you for years and never commented. You 'can do' an awful lot of stuff, among that stuff being, to talk so fluently and explain yourself so clearly. Respect.
I have watched you since the beginning and I don’t comment a lot but Ty ( when u write the following I’m just writing it to give context not sympathy) I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety for 20 yrs I’m 43 and I’m on disability because of it even though I have a college degree and in May I almost died from being septic from pneumonia but I was diagnosed with a rare disease called Addisons disease.. ( sry I ramble when I’m nervous because I want this to come out right) I want to Ty because in the last 20 years I have tried to unalive myself because I didn’t reach out to people I didn’t want sympathy or be a burden ( I understand are lives are completely different) but everyone is going through something behind closed doors but watching your videos have made me laugh cry and at times saved my life so Ty and remember we are all only human and I wish there were more people like u and your wife in the world 🌎 Happy Holidays 🎄💕🎄
I have cerebral palsy also. People can see my disability physically. I would rather people know how great I’m at my art,my love for life, volunteer work, and I like animals . Its not the first thing i want to talk about.
God Bless you Dan.. Sometimes people need to talk about their own trial and tribulations.. This is the start of something big.. Hugs to your family.. ❤❤❤❤
As a parent of a child with a disability, I completely agree with the notion of not having your child's diagnoses define who you are and how you relate to the world. The last thing I would ever want for myself, my child or my family is the pity of others and I always aim to share out lives in a positive manner. I agree that it is difficult to be around others who lead with the negative and seek pity. However, I would encourage you to consider that perhaps it is far easier for you and your wife to embrace a positive outlook on life because of the tremendous privilege you have in the form of support of nursing care and your family. Many families with similar circumstances do not have this kind of support which limits their ability to even get out of the house for meaningful work, volunteer work, travel and so many of the other opportunities your family has been afforded because you do have support. I try not to judge others who are struggling with their role as caregivers and would encourage you to imagine what it's truly like to be 24/7/365 caregivers with out a support network such as the one you have. Life circumstances and privileges do contribute to one's ability to build a life outside of the necessary realities tied to caregiving a child with complex medical needs.
I enjoyed your talking head video and listening to your unfiltered perspective, which some may find controversial and/or hard to hear. As someone with CP, I don't seek others' pity or sympathy. I only want to appear strong, capable and unbothered by my health issues. However, I've turned this "addiction" inward. I go through times of seeking and wallowing in self-pity. This was a motivational video for me to break the cycle of my self-pity "addiction."
❤️ Like I always say, it's fine, even healthy, to break down sometimes. But it's about recovering from that sadness verses remaining in it and letting it define you. Life is hard, for everyone, in their own way, so I do my best not to make it a competition for last place. 😉
I have complex health issues...mental and physical and learning disabilities... i look at it as take a rest and recovery... and dont want pity from others... i may need others adapt there expectations or help me accomplish task. So i know its "not just me" that others out there that understand.
Love your content, you're a great motivational speaker,just listening to you speak is so heartwarming! You're an inspiration to us all irregardless of the situation!Thank you so much for Sharing! 🌟😊❤️
I don’t want sympathy or pity from people because I have a special needs child , who is now 33 yrs old and still lives at home, - I just don’t think most of them realize what a cross it is at times, and what we had & have to deal with. It’s also a extra stressful situation for me since I suffer from severe depression & anxiety. I also don’t go around thinking “poor me” because actually, why not me ? I understand it’s a very personal struggle for us all, but can also understand that everyone is different & deals with it differently.
I have spina bifida and I like to tell people it’s a fine line….. I’m not a super hero ( because a lot of people like the throw on the “ you are such an inspiration so now we expect you to be that ALL the time” thing) but I don’t want pity either. I’m just human have good and bad days and I am more than what people see.
I commented earlier. I dislike people that focus on negative of disability. It just means I have to adapt my environment and that may look differently or I have help.
I have the days where the grief consumes me too. Sometimes it’s weeks at a time that I can’t even think to find the effort. But I lean into the hard. I cry. I complain. I sulk. But eventually I claw my way out and get back to taking control of my emotions. I don’t expect others to fill that gap.
I have CP It affects my left hand and right leg and that’s my pet peeve. People’s reactions. I’m so much more that my disability. It doesn’t define me at all. I don’t want their sympathy
It’s so hard. I have my moments and at first I was very scared to talk about my mental health challenges. Because I don’t want to be judged and be criticized. And it has a stymey I have had a hard time making friends. That isreally screwed up.
It's ok to talk about our challenges. I'm not saying you shouldn't. In fact I heavily encourage people to get counseling. I'm just saying don't let it be the only thing about you. Everyone has challenges in their lives, and being someone who constantly shares them can create a fatigue in social groups that can end up leaving them isolated.
My significant other Dan, and I can sympathize. Dan developed cerebral palsy, and traumatic brain injury. That mildly affects his right side. He’s a trooper though, and never asks for sympathy. Or. pity. I don’t either.
I’m the total opposite. I don’t share with anyone what it’s really like to care for our daughter 24/7. I just give superficial answers or inch stone highlight reels. Idk, I just feel like unless you’re truly living through it (and no; your child may also have CP, epilepsy, a feeding tube, lung disease, vision impairment, etc. too, but our kids are NOT the same) you cannot fathom what it’s like so why bother even speaking about it. Heck, even my husband has no idea what it’s like for me anymore than I can understand what it’s like for my child. Pity just adds shamefulness. I don’t want to be the poster family for “give thanks for the healthy children in your life”.
Of course i can This is my opinion saying you child has special needs when really there’s aren’t special they are the same basic needs as everyone else they just need help accessing them. Also i find when parents say they’re children has special needs it basically saying they have a problem with their child being disabled and trying to came up with a nicer way of saying it I hope that makes sense! Love you channel expectally this video Very important
i love being one of your hope-stirs! i agree totally of what you are saying total cause i have fibromyalgia and everyone one says how sorry they are to me and that is not who i am ❤🩹❤🩹
Dan, I’m reminded of something that my Irish grandmother used to say whenever she spotted me heading toward the rabbit hole of self-pity as a young teenaged girl filled with angst . . .
“Two convicts looked out from behind prison bars.
One saw mud.
The other saw STARS.”
Those three little sentences have been my personal lodestar by which I’ve navigated my way through often turbulent waters.
I just turned 70 on September 23rd of this year.
Who knows what the future holds for this senior citizen ?
I certainly don’t . . . nor do I spend a nanosecond fretting about it.
My strength and serenity come from within.
Nothing can touch that.
Thank you for taking the time to share such a powerful message.
Sending my very warmest wishes to you and yours . . . !
As a person with a disability, I 1000% resonate with this. I'm in my late 30's now, but my childhood was never one filled with pity or sorrow for what I can't do. Instead I was raised to figure out how I could do things rather than what I can't. A saying that I live by is that the world doesn't need to adapt to me (or anyone with a disability) but rather I need to adapt to the world. When I meet people and they start to lay on the pity, I put a kibosh on it and start showing them what I can do.
Love it!
Yes exactly! This is how I was brought up, I may be disabled but there is always a way of doing something.
@@SeeTheSeitzhey
Our family had a full, joyful life with my granddaughter. She was a part of everything we did. We had parties and went places, took trips she was always there. However, I did not realize until after she passed, she had become the hub of our life. After her passing we had to learn how to put our life back together again. I thought I was going to be one of the offended ones but I wasn't. I agree with you. Live life to the fullest with all your family members. It's important.
Im still here 4 years from finding your channel and i just love it always will. Ive never felt sorry for u guys only how inspiring you are and how blessed you are with both your children and what great parents you are
I’m so glad you made this video. If you don’t mind if I share this with others. I’m a quadriplegic also with a visual impairment. I try to tell people this all the time that I do not want sympathy. I want to live as normal as a normal person as I can. People do not understand how I can be happy and be positive with a daily basis. I really appreciate this vlog so much you just don’t realize how much this is needed. Keep up the great work and have a great holiday season.
You are truly a beautiful man and your family is beautiful!! You amaze me! You all give Hudsyn her very best life. She is happy, loved and so intensely well cared for. I am so proud of you all!!
As a person with a disability i 1'025% resonate with you Dan i was raised by my aunt and uncle and they always strived to tell me to be independent and figure things out for myself and i don't think of myself as a disabled i consider myself that has abilities i was always taught to push through it and be yourself
❤ Honesty been watching your vlogs for years. I love all the content. I see you as a dad running a household. I am a mom running my household. It's simple and relatable content.
Can't wait to see your Christmas decorations!
As someone who has speial needs. I have found it hard at time to define an identity outside of my diagnosis. It has shaped how I do things in a lot of way. But I have done a lot of work on finding myself. I am an artist and an animal lover. I can use the differences caused by my diagnosis to bring a new idea or view to a situation. I can connect with people in a different way.
I’ve watched your channel from nearly its inception, and never commented ‘til now…Wow! You nailed it, in a kind manner-a topic I’ve frequently thought about, but never voiced. Great validating words. Merriest of Christmases to you and your amazing family~
💕🎄💕
Wow. A subject that very much needed to be brought up. Anyone who rebutts with offense already entered the building on the defensive. I hear ya, Dan. I've seen exactly what you're talking about, too. Not just here...in other channels and with families I personally know that care for special needs children or family members that require 24/7 care because of medically necessary attention. But, you know, this can be said of ANYTHING people struggle with, are born with, are in a place they observe it everyday or have been put in a position of caregiving because they're fulfilling a need no one else will step up to. Victimhood is a mindset you choose to believe is your title or destiny. Sometimes it's knowingly used but I seriously feel it's a gradual process that turns into an armor worn preparing for battle on an unexisting war. It starts small as a reason why, having rationale behind it or it's an understanding because of the questions you inevitably get. You feel like it's necessary you HAVE TO have an answer for the repetitive. Somewhere along the line, the answer becomes your armor chosen to put on and wear even though it's heavy and exhausting carrying the weight but you "need it" because you really believe it's what you need to face the day, the world. *You become your situation instead of the advocate*. I know because ADDICTION works the same way - whether you're recovering or struggling with it. Dan, this is deep. It goes beyond and branches out into so many areas. Wbat a great topic to bring up for consideration and debate. You mentioned, because it's in your comment section in every video, that we're STILL going to see responses that are exactly why you had this sit down. And you know what? That's ok because I think it's sometimes a deep psychological matter that they need to survive mentally for themselves. Without delving into deeper beliefs or reasons, I want to say that, simply put....be kind. It's easy and can start to change so much. Be the person you want others to be with you. Dan, your real supporters understand you, don't watch to judge and we know the whole story. We ❤ you all and hear your heart, not just your words. Thumbs up 👍🏻.
Well said! Thank you! I also forgot to say in this video that one of the reasons I started this channel was so I didn't have to answer the repetitive questions about Hudsyn. I could just point people to this channel and they could see for themselves. 😉❤️
I am special-needs myself and I'm absolutely loving your video! I don't want people to feel sorry for me or my situation, it's not their fault. If anything it's natures LOL! But I hundred percent know where you are coming from
Followed you for years and never commented. You 'can do' an awful lot of stuff, among that stuff being, to talk so fluently and explain yourself so clearly. Respect.
Wow, thank you! ❤️
I have ibs, mental health challenges, William syndrome, orthopedic problems, and several dairy products.
I have watched you since the beginning and I don’t comment a lot but Ty ( when u write the following I’m just writing it to give context not sympathy) I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety for 20 yrs I’m 43 and I’m on disability because of it even though I have a college degree and in May I almost died from being septic from pneumonia but I was diagnosed with a rare disease called Addisons disease.. ( sry I ramble when I’m nervous because I want this to come out right) I want to Ty because in the last 20 years I have tried to unalive myself because I didn’t reach out to people I didn’t want sympathy or be a burden ( I understand are lives are completely different) but everyone is going through something behind closed doors but watching your videos have made me laugh cry and at times saved my life so Ty and remember we are all only human and I wish there were more people like u and your wife in the world 🌎 Happy Holidays 🎄💕🎄
I have cerebral palsy also. People can see my disability physically. I would rather people know how great I’m at my art,my love for life, volunteer work, and I like animals . Its not the first thing i want to talk about.
God Bless you Dan.. Sometimes people need to talk about their own trial and tribulations.. This is the start of something big.. Hugs to your family.. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you.
I could not agree MORE! Thank you so much for sharing! This is 100% true!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject.
As a parent of a child with a disability, I completely agree with the notion of not having your child's diagnoses define who you are and how you relate to the world. The last thing I would ever want for myself, my child or my family is the pity of others and I always aim to share out lives in a positive manner. I agree that it is difficult to be around others who lead with the negative and seek pity. However, I would encourage you to consider that perhaps it is far easier for you and your wife to embrace a positive outlook on life because of the tremendous privilege you have in the form of support of nursing care and your family. Many families with similar circumstances do not have this kind of support which limits their ability to even get out of the house for meaningful work, volunteer work, travel and so many of the other opportunities your family has been afforded because you do have support. I try not to judge others who are struggling with their role as caregivers and would encourage you to imagine what it's truly like to be 24/7/365 caregivers with out a support network such as the one you have. Life circumstances and privileges do contribute to one's ability to build a life outside of the necessary realities tied to caregiving a child with complex medical needs.
This is the best video you’ve ever made!!!
Thank you ❤
I enjoy watching your videos I look for seeing you on RUclips
I enjoyed your talking head video and listening to your unfiltered perspective, which some may find controversial and/or hard to hear. As someone with CP, I don't seek others' pity or sympathy. I only want to appear strong, capable and unbothered by my health issues. However, I've turned this "addiction" inward. I go through times of seeking and wallowing in self-pity. This was a motivational video for me to break the cycle of my self-pity "addiction."
❤️ Like I always say, it's fine, even healthy, to break down sometimes. But it's about recovering from that sadness verses remaining in it and letting it define you. Life is hard, for everyone, in their own way, so I do my best not to make it a competition for last place. 😉
You are awesome I have been watching your channel for the last 6 years just love your family ❤
Thanks so much!!
I have complex health issues...mental and physical and learning disabilities... i look at it as take a rest and recovery... and dont want pity from others... i may need others adapt there expectations or help me accomplish task. So i know its "not just me" that others out there that understand.
Love your content, you're a great motivational speaker,just listening to you speak is so heartwarming! You're an inspiration to us all irregardless of the situation!Thank you so much for Sharing! 🌟😊❤️
Wow, thank you!
I don’t want sympathy or pity from people because I have a special needs child , who is now 33 yrs old and still lives at home, - I just don’t think most of them realize what a cross it is at times, and what we had & have to deal with. It’s also a extra stressful situation for me since I suffer from severe depression & anxiety. I also don’t go around thinking “poor me” because actually, why not me ? I understand it’s a very personal struggle for us all, but can also understand that everyone is different & deals with it differently.
I always say that I have cerebral palsy but I am not a victim! Even though this past year has been very hard but at least I am still here!
I love being a hope-stir! See you in the next episode 😊
You are doing great great with Hudsyn love your show so much❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
That was amazing Dan well said ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Oh ❤
I have spina bifida and I like to tell people it’s a fine line….. I’m not a super hero ( because a lot of people like the throw on the “ you are such an inspiration so now we expect you to be that ALL the time” thing) but I don’t want pity either. I’m just human have good and bad days and I am more than what people see.
Omg thank you for making this video!
Thank YOU for watching it! ❤️
I commented earlier. I dislike people that focus on negative of disability. It just means I have to adapt my environment and that may look differently or I have help.
I have cerebral palsy.
And I don't want my disability to define me.
However, there are days that are so difficult.
That it consumes me.
I have the days where the grief consumes me too. Sometimes it’s weeks at a time that I can’t even think to find the effort. But I lean into the hard. I cry. I complain. I sulk. But eventually I claw my way out and get back to taking control of my emotions. I don’t expect others to fill that gap.
I have CP It affects my left hand and right leg and that’s my pet peeve. People’s reactions. I’m so much more that my disability. It doesn’t define me at all. I don’t want their sympathy
It’s so hard. I have my moments and at first I was very scared to talk about my mental health challenges. Because I don’t want to be judged and be criticized. And it has a stymey I have had a hard time making friends. That isreally screwed up.
It's ok to talk about our challenges. I'm not saying you shouldn't. In fact I heavily encourage people to get counseling. I'm just saying don't let it be the only thing about you. Everyone has challenges in their lives, and being someone who constantly shares them can create a fatigue in social groups that can end up leaving them isolated.
My significant other Dan, and I can sympathize. Dan developed cerebral palsy, and traumatic brain injury. That mildly affects his right side. He’s a trooper though, and never asks for sympathy. Or. pity.
I don’t either.
I’m the total opposite. I don’t share with anyone what it’s really like to care for our daughter 24/7. I just give superficial answers or inch stone highlight reels. Idk, I just feel like unless you’re truly living through it (and no; your child may also have CP, epilepsy, a feeding tube, lung disease, vision impairment, etc. too, but our kids are NOT the same) you cannot fathom what it’s like so why bother even speaking about it. Heck, even my husband has no idea what it’s like for me anymore than I can understand what it’s like for my child. Pity just adds shamefulness. I don’t want to be the poster family for “give thanks for the healthy children in your life”.
As a disabled person with CP i don’t like the term special needs but otherwise perfectly said
So I can understand, what is it about the term “special needs” do you not like? I’m always curious about people’s reasons. ❤️
Of course i can
This is my opinion
saying you child has special needs when really there’s aren’t special they are the same basic needs as everyone else they just need help accessing them.
Also i find when parents say they’re children has special needs it basically saying they have a problem with their child being disabled and trying to came up with a nicer way of saying it
I hope that makes sense!
Love you channel expectally this video
Very important
u really need 2 push through the depression & 2 make positive changes
Yeah and Hudsyn doesent want to hear the negative or any victimhoodism either she can hear and understand everything ❤️
Fragile x Disability Adrian
Hi! I love your message! Thank you for sharing this! I’d love to read her book! What is the name of the book? 😊
❤️ The link is in the description below! If you read it, please leave an Amazon review!
Goodmorning. Hugs
❤
🎉 Shana beale 9
You're a Sweetie Pie!
I got special needs ❤ 4:35
i love being one of your hope-stirs!
i agree totally of what you are saying total
cause i have fibromyalgia and everyone one says how sorry they are to me and that is not who i am
❤🩹❤🩹